A/N: I am back!
Chapter Thirteen
"Just because it's threatened, it doesn't mean she definitely will miscarry," Ruth reassured Sasha.
"I should never have let her go on the operation," he replied, drumming his fingers on the waiting room chair he was sat on.
"Whether she went or not would have made no difference. This was going to happen no matter what. She had already developed the infection," Ruth continued trying to comfort her worried colleague, remembering the initial explanation that the doctor had given them about a cervical infection being the cause of Emma's bleeding.
Harry had also come along to the hospital to support his son, following the ambulance in his Range Rover, with Ruth sat in the passenger seat nervously gnawing on her nails.
He didn't know what to say though when he arrived. He was unsure what to do in such a situation, so he allowed Ruth to take care of the emotional matters. It was much more her forte than his.
Sasha only shook his head in response to Ruth. He could't help but punish himself for letting her go. "It wouldn't have exactly helped matters though."
"Hello again," the doctor from before reentered the waiting room to greet them. "Just to let you know, Emma has come round now. Although she is responding well to the antibiotics, she is still rather fragile so we're going to keep her in over night for observations. But she is ready to see you now. Though, go carefully and only one person at a time please."
"How is the baby?" Ruth quickly asked before the doctor could disappear again.
"The foetus is only as stable as it's mother. It has been through a considerable amount of trauma due to the implications of the infection on Emma's body. At the moment it is enduring, but the next 24 hours are critical," the doctor explained, rather too clinically for Ruth's liking; she had always found it uncomfortable how doctors often forgot to speak about their patients as though they were actual human beings.
"So if it survives the next 24 hours, then it will be ok?" Sasha clarified.
"I cannot promise that it will go to full-term; as pregnancy is far too unpredictable for that to ever be a certainty. However, if Emma does not miscarry during the next day, then the chances of development continuing after that will become much higher," the doctor told them.
Sasha nodded as he tried to decode the medical language and actually make sense of what the doctor was telling him. His head was so all over the place, he was struggling to understand any of it though. At least the time limit gave him some sort of goal, something to focus on. He only had to wait 24 hours, only a day. If his child and it's mother could get through that, then he finally could relax. Not completely of course, as the doctor had said, his baby's survival could never be promised, but at least it would be in considerably less jeopardy.
"So would you like to see her now?" the doctor asked.
"Yes," Sasha shot up out of his chair. "Of course."
Ruth squeezed his hand just before he left to follow the doctor into the room where Emma was staying. Once they had arrived, the doctor held the door open for Sasha before leaving him alone with her.
"Hello, my sweetheart," Sasha said softly as he walked over to Emma's bed.
"Hello," she replied, rather croakily.
"You can't begin to imagine how happy I am to see you," he told her as he took a seat next to her, and placed his palm on top of hers, careful not to disturb the IV drip that was pumping antibiotics into her hand.
Emma smiled meekly in response, lacking the energy to speak anymore. She ached everywhere. Her head was pounding, she was stiff all over, and she had never felt so exhausted in all her life.
Sasha didn't push her to say anything though; instead he encouraged her to get some rest.
"You look exhausted, you should shut your eyes and try to sleep," he told her as he carefully stroked her arm soothingly.
Emma cooperated willingly, and drifted off almost immediately.
Sasha watched her as she slept, not wanting to take his eyes off her ever again. He remained there in the same position; sat leaning on the side of the bed, staring at his girlfriend, his hand lightly intertwined with hers, just waiting. Waiting for her to get better. He wouldn't let any more harm come to her, not whilst he was there. He simply couldn't allow that.
He was so transfixed on Emma, that he barely noticed Ruth enter the room.
"Sasha," she called out to get his attention.
He quickly turned round and held a finger to his lips, signally Ruth not to disturb Emma.
"Sorry," she whispered back, "I know I'm not supposed to be in here as well, but I just wanted to check everything is all right."
"It is for now, she just needs to sleep. I'm going to stay with her," he informed her.
"Are you sure? You must be pretty knackered yourself. Me, you and Harry could all take it in turns to watch over her, give you a chance to have a break," Ruth offered, but Sasha shook his head.
"I need to stay here with her," he asserted.
Ruth understood, "OK, well as long as you are sure, Harry and I will be outside waiting if you need anything."
"You two can go home, there's no point in you staying all night," Sasha told her.
"Oh no, we don't mind," Ruth reassured him.
"Honestly it's fine, she'll probably be asleep until the morning anyway. At least that's what I hope," he replied.
"OK," Ruth nodded, "well as long as you're sure. Just remember that we'll be on the end of the phone, and you must call us if anything happens and you need to talk."
"I will," Sasha pledged.
"Goodnight then," Ruth said softly as she left.
Eight hours later, and Sasha still hadn't slept. He didn't even feel tired. He had barely even moved during that time, too scared to even slightly shift his focus away from Emma for fear of something happening to her and him not being able to prevent it.
When he heard the door open, he didn't even turn to look at who it was.
"Hello," Harry announced his presence. He walked over to where Sasha was and placed what he hoped was a reassuring palm on his back. "You must be exhausted."
"I'm fine," he shot back.
"Sasha," Harry started apprehensively, "can we talk?"
"Not now D…Harry," he snapped, still not even turning to look at his father.
"I'm sorry," Harry began to apologise before his attention was averted to Emma, who was waking up.
"You shouldn't have disturbed her, she needs to rest," Sasha scolded caustically; needing to take his anger out on someone.
Harry understood this, and was willing to be the recipient in this situation; anything to help his son get through his ordeal.
"Our baby," Emma whimpered as soon as she could muster enough energy to speak. She was distressed; and began fighting to get up and get answers, but her body was not allowing it, and neither was Sasha.
"Is fine," Sasha reassured her as he delicately pushed her back down on the bed, "please, darling you must not try and struggle, you need to look after yourself."
"Are you sure? What happened?" Emma asked.
"You have an infection in your cervix, that is what made you bleed and collapse. You are receiving antibiotics and they are already making you much better,' Sasha tried desperately to calm his girlfriend down.
"Did I hurt the baby?" Emma said in a whisper, feeling so overwhelmed that she began to sob.
"No, no," Sasha protested, and began to manoeuvre himself around all the wires to allow himself to gently embrace Emma in attempt to comfort her. "You didn't do anything. None of this is your fault."
Harry felt his son glare at him as he said that. He could tell that his presence was unwanted by Sasha anyway; Emma hadn't even noticed that he was there.
He coughed awkwardly, "if there is anything you need do let me know, I'll leave you to it and go outside to join Ruth."
He left before he received any response.
Just as Harry shut the door behind him, a nurse entered the room to check on Emma.
"You're awake," she stated as she came up to her patient.
"I've tried to explain everything, but she's still very worried about the baby," Sasha informed the nurse, hoping to prompt her into reassuring Emma further.
The nurse repeated what the doctor had told the others, but in a gentler and more caring manner. Although Emma was still groggy, she was able to take it all in.
"I'm going to examine you now if that is ok?" the nurse asked Emma.
She nodded. As the nurse carried out the internal examination, Emma couldn't help but wince a little. Sasha instinctively grabbed her hand and squeezed it, wishing he could take her discomfort away. As the nurse began to remove her gloves, Emma grew impatient; "Is everything alright?"
"It certainly seems so. You are due to have a scan later on today, to check on the baby. A heartbeat was detected by ultrasound when you were first brought in, and seeing as you are responding to the treatment so well and haven't bled any more, I do not have any more reason for concern at this stage," the nurse explained.
Emma and Sasha both let out a sigh of relief simultaneously in response to the positive update.
"I'll be back to check on you later on, before you go for the scan later on. But if there is anything you need in the meantime, make sure you call for us on your bell, ok?" the nurse told her.
"Ok, thank you," Emma smiled at her gratefully as she left the room.
"There you go my love, see, she's going to be ok," Sasha said, for his benefit as well as Emma's.
"She?" Emma asked, confused as to why Sasha had presumed their baby's gender.
"Huh?" he hadn't even realised what he'd said.
"You referred to the baby as she," Emma explained.
"Did I?" he said, before remembering what Emma had said after she had collapsed.
"Yes, because that's what you said," he recalled, "when you were lying in my arms, dropping in and out of consciousness,, you said you didn't want to lose her."
"I did?" Emma could only remember up to sitting down in the meeting; everything afterwards was a blur.
"At least I think you did; it was obviously difficult to decipher what you were saying but I'm sure that's what you said," Sasha told her.
"It could well of been, perhaps it was something I just instinctively felt in that moment," she mused. "But either way, Sasha, whether it is a boy or girl, I want to have this baby. I wasn't sure what I wanted before this happened, but now there is a prospect of losing it, I know now that it is the one thing I want more than anything in the world. I'll understand if you don't feel the same, and if you don't want anything to do…"
"Emma!" Sasha interrupted. "Please, don't even think that. I would never leave you or the baby. I want to be there for you both, more than anything."
"Don't feel like you have to say that because of what has happened," she said.
"I'm not," he told her earnestly as he took hold of her hand and looked intensely into her eyes. "From the moment you told me you were pregnant I knew deep down it was what I wanted. Of course, I was shocked because it wasn't planned, and apprehensive because of our work. But I spoke to Dad just before you came back, and he made me realise that none of that matters. All that matters is that we love each other, and we will love our child."
Emma felt herself tearing up again, but for all the different reasons this time.
"I do love you, so much," she told him, "and you are going to make the most incredible father."
"I can only hope so," he leaned over to kiss her softly.
A/N: Sorry I left this for so long... Let me know if anyone out there is still reading it! As I would love to see it through to the end x