Author Notes: Well folks, this is the last chapter I had written ahead of time to see if this fanfic is worth it. And I guess that, yes, it is. Unfortunately this also means that quick updates are also gone for the moment as I still have to continue manually. Worse still, I have yet to catalog every death that occurred in total to keep things accurate. I'll take the opportunity here to re-read Arc 5 all the way to the last update so I can update myself on where the story is going, and what snippets I can extract. So, for the moment, go out, enjoy your lives and lower your expectations. This will help make this fic feel good again when it returns.
Chapter 04: The Morning of Torment
As the morning arrived, silent and undisturbed, Julius Juukulius stirred on the bag which he was laid upon.
Out of the eight that had been forced asleep, he was the first to actually wake up without collapsing into a recurring echo of agony seconds away from stumbling into consciousness. Nevertheless, tiredness still washed over his face, his sight blurred from wet marks of tears while his mind was hazed and blank, his thoughts dulled. What little panic he could feel remembering the horror last night was immediately cast aside by the spiritual glyph glowing beneath his body, the magic stopping him from processing unnecessary emotions while he leaned up from his sleeping bag, gently, to finally address his immediate surroundings.
"...Urgh…"
Illuminated by rays of sunlight that peeked through thin slits in the walls, the Library of Taygeta appeared to be as clean and ominous as it had been yesterday, cleaner even by the lack of dust and debris. The others, much like himself, were sprawled in the center of the room, sleeping in their bags and blankets while still under the markings of his magic, whom he felt active still, forcefully draining endless mana not only from its surroundings, but also apparently out of the bodies of his companions… Or at least, all of them except for the two spirits present there...
But, before he could reflect on that, something elusive quickly drew his eye as it fully recovered into sharpness: The bookshelf from which he had perceived to be cleaned actually revealed itself to be a distorted wall of folded space through shadows and cracks. It was an illusion; the light itself was bended aside, creating a shroud to cover the entirety of the Library as to leave the massive pile of tomes and books that now surrounded them from every direction completely out of sight.
As for why that is so, Julius already could guess.
"...You girls have been busy…" He addressed his spirits, the six flocks faintly shaking and dancing near his face, their light glowing paler than usual, almost breaking apart from what he knew to be exhaustion. It didn't matter to them though, not with what happened. The six of them wanted assurance, "...I'm fine, girls. I'm just… disoriented. Disoriented and hungry." He continued, stomach rumbling.
As he sensed and heard their worries from being told what occurred yesterday, Julius' hands trembled briefly at that mortal fate he had just endured. Subaru's awakening… The trial mystery… Worry and recollection… Secrecy and betrayal… An attempt to escape… The death of allies and innocents… The arrival of winter… And of course, the avalanche of rabbits… Hundred of white rabbits… Surging, piling, gnawing, tearing, feasting, gouging, butchering, DEVOURING, MUTILATING, EVISCERATI-
"...Gah!"
…
…
Almost vomiting bile, the Greatest of Knights paused, just as his heart pumped blood harder and his eyes fell into a deafness followed by tinnitus, his mind and heart was cleared instantly, purging from thinking a line further as his magic forced him to recover…
Such reaction to a memory was so abrupt that it even made him spit a curse out of his own graceful mouth, "...By the dragon, what the f*uck was that?" He exclaimed slowly, only to be shocked at his choice of words, so vulgar and unsightly. This isn't like him at all... For a Knight of all beings to say such things out of hand… "Urgh… I feel sick."
"Julius…"
Yet, caught distraught, the man heard an familiar voice reaching his ear. Looking around, there it stood, the white coat of his Liege Lady, standing up alive and talking again, in that same shape of the fox it always had been, much to his unconscious displeasure, "Oh… You." He wasn't exactly keen on speaking with her the first hour in the morning, but manners are manners, "I assume you are as broken as I am?"
"...Yes." Echidna nodded, visibly fragile at glance, appearing both stressed and weakened despite the pristine state of her fur, "...Those memories, that fate… This is more serious than I thought." She reflected soberly, "It appears that Emilia's Camp wasn't lying when they reported about the death of the Great Rabbit… I just never imagined it could be so… horrifying."
On that the knight agreed, "Uhum… More surprising is to hear they actually have slain it." Julius added, eyes gazing out as if to stare at nothing for a second, "I shudder to think how that is even achievable with the reports I have read. The stories Felix told me about that monster multiplying itself when struck… It just seems impossible."
And that's not taking account of the sheer demoralization in seeing one's troops being devoured one by one, something Julius didn't put into words here…But there was no point to it. It was easy to imagine the mayhem alone after what he himself lived through yesterday. If he was honest, even with the help of an army at one's back, facing this kind of numerous beast would inevitably result in a costly endeavor for both the body and mind.
And yet, with that said, all of this only serves to make the achievement of his otherworldly friend even more impressive given how he managed to do it with as little as his own spirit and the help of his liege lady supporting him…
"...How did they do it?" Julius wondered, aghast. Just how powerful the ancient and rare 'Al Shamak' spell can be to earn such a victory against that… monstrosity?
"As usual, Natsuki Subaru is full of surprises." The fox commented, glancing sideways to stare at her sibling spirit nearby, "He is privy to quite the esoteric knowledge in his pockets, and has the means to use it to its fullest…" Echidna deduces, recalling the strange yet incredible time-based and anti-magic spells that he and Beatrice used to save their lives on this journey, which makes her wonder, "Do you think he knows about his own books here?"
Julius closes his eyes for a second to ponder, "I… don't know… I don't think so, unless…" Narrowing his eyes, the Knight quickly remembers something, "The third sibling of Gluttony… She must have been the one responsible for devouring Subaru's memories earlier, and she's still alive by the time she was banished by Volcanica's breath alongside the others. If that's true, then when Subaru's amnesiac self was left on this floor before the battle was settled…"
"... He ended up finding his own books." Echidna completed his deduction, "Which implies that he used them to to recover his memories, and that for some reason didn't tell anyone afterwards. Or at least that we know of…" The fox reasoned suspiciously glancing at the rest of the sleeping members of the other camp.
"That's…" Gulping his throat, the Greatest Among Knights grimaced, finding that reasoning sound. If Subaru did tell someone, then this is the second (or third?) time that Emilia's Camp kept their secrets from them. Of course, that's not an unexpected thing to do considering their rivalry around the Royal Selection but still… This whole mess was a matter of life and death, of secrets as old as the land and its myths. For them to keep a knowledge this big, "... Why would they do that though? Why keep it a secret if that's the case?" Julius inquiries. What else did Natsuki Subaru know?
"That remains unknown… It could be due to absurdity. That the memories were simply too unbelievable to be shared..." Echidna suggested. From there, she would try to speculate more, but her little form faltered, her consciousness slipping slightly. Suddenly, the shadows behind Julius assumed a strange larger form… almost as if casting out a silhouette that stared back at her for a second, its eyes pleading for answers…
But, blinking it away, Echidna's thoughts turned back to the tomes themselves, "Wait… Where's the books we've read?" She asks in a hurry, only now noticing the state of the Library and the missing clues to the puzzle they had delved into.
To which Julius, consulting his spirits, responds, "They're somewhere in between all this pile behind the barrier. Apparently, we had such a visceral reaction to yesterday's memory that my maidens panicked and shook the entire foundation of the Library in their attempt to keep the books away from us. So, they pushed everything out of reach and left it as it is. They have no clue where it is now."
"I see..." Echidna could imagine the mess. The mere remembrance of it summons a lingering pain echoing through her skin beneath fur… Teeth… Lots of teeth… So many of them, endlessly biting, again and again, eternally… To think they would stumble to such a terrible account right out of the bat, from the most unexpected place possible…
"Ah… Ah!... AH!"
"...?"
"Subaru… No… Subaru… Subaruuuu!" At that moment, the other spirit among them appeared to have awakened. Caught in between a recurring nightmare, Beatrice recoiled from her spot. Her incessant wailing turned into panic and soon after into a frenzied scream.
"No…!" Jumping to help, Julius tried to keep her shaking her little frame down, pressing the shoulders into the blankets, but she wouldn't stop. Locked in a name mantra, the Great Spirit's own power reacted aggressively against the glyph circle, her being one of victims in it that the knight's maidens couldn't simply sap mana out from to properly keep her asleep.
"...Ah!"
"Focus! Focus Beatrice-sama! Heed my voice, feel my aura." Julius soothed, flaring out his Divine Protection in full power to try to garner Beatrice's maddened attention. And as he did, looking directly into her eye, he continued, "Calm down and look upon yourself. Seek out your own soul, try feeling his presence. Once you do, latch into it, and you will feel safe." He directed her, holding her hand in support.
"I don't know… I don't know…" The loli spirit muttered, butterfly eyes shaking frantically at something either behind him or around, "I don't know… I don't know… I don't know… I don't know why… I just don't know, Subaru… Betty is stupid, Subaru… Betty doesn't understand it…"
"...?" Confused by her words, Julius would try speaking, but she interrupted.
"I'm trying so hard, but I don't know why… I'll try my best to understand it, to know it soon… so please… Please don't leave me because of it, Subaru… Please!…"
Slowly calmer, as the power of the glyph finally settles in, Beatrice sought the freedom to wrap her knees while on ground, staring away from Julius to brood into the unknown, ignoring him.
"..." Taking this as a sign of her easing up, he allowed it, only to flinch at the brutal strength behind the grip that the Great Spirit left on his hand as she released it out…
It would appear that not even the magic of his maidens shedding their light upon her was enough to prevent a trauma from manifesting to this degree. Granted, the reason why is likely due to her contractor being involved, her beloved chosen, who faced a death so horrible that despite it being but a mere fragment of an illusion. This madness itched deep into her mind still…
It doesn't matter that Her Subaru was still alive. It doesn't matter that their bond still holds strong. Beatrice felt his death deeper than anyone in that room, something that both Julius and Echidna silently knew, yet dreaded to imagine the extent of the pain. And while they suspected her of hiding some secrets, they still felt a ting of pity seeing the loli spirit in that despairing state.
"...*Sign*... Well… I cannot remain idle." The knight spoke soon after, straining himself to stand up and be productive, "I'll… go prepare breakfast. Please, tend to the others." He requests Echidna before leaving without a response.
The fox raised an eyebrow to this, seeing his ill manners manifest as he kept his hair uneven and the uniform crumpled, but nodded regardless, "I will." If anything, Echidna figures the whole ordeal still burdens him deeply, which is not a surprise all things considered. The worst part has yet to come with the others waking up from their slumber. After all, how to calm their feelings down once they have their own moments recalling yesterday's horror? That's what the fox pondered, hoping that the spirits were able to help once again.
As the door of the library cranked loudly as it closed, allowing Julius to descend the stairs in an eerie silence. He would step out, silent in reflection until he was assaulted by yet another wave of shivers crawling on his spine…
In a cruel irony, the air around him was still cold, a lingering remnant of the desert's night that the morning hadn't yet banished. And because of that, something akin to an instinct flared, summoning a fear that slowly made his heart pump louder and gave room for sweat to manifest in his temples. Leaving the glyph zone of his maidens was nauseating. It is as if his only source of warmth was torn away, leaving a sickness that causes his very skin to go numb.
Gritting his teeth however, the Greatest Among Knights pushed onwards, taking it for himself the task of enduring this delirium alone, knowing now that the others would suffer even worse if they dared.
"(This place is unbelievable… Was Flugel even a Sage to begin with, creating such a horrible contraption?)" Julius judged, impatiently questioning the Library's purpose, "(Desecrating the dead… Planting false memories… Incuring torture… Just what's the point of those books? I just can't see the wisdom behind his choices…)" He argued.
And how could he when after a whole night of being protected by his maidens Julius still felt the aftereffects of such a disastrous death? If the real Subaru, for some unfathomable chance in the stars actually lived through such an experience, then he couldn't possibly be sane! In fact, right now, just recalling the briefest moment here compels Julius's soul into rebellion, making him try to deny reality by grabbing the nearest wall and simply smash his head into it until it stops as anything was better than this phantom memory on his skin haunting him!
It is only due to his carefully built discipline that he accumulated over the years that Julius restrained himself from doing that act of self-harm, knowing it would lead nowhere but a bout of ungallant worries and pity-seeking from the ladies above… He's above this. He has to be, the knight decided.
So, the descent continued, with Julius now left on a fouler mood.
"(I should have argued against it… Pushed Anastasia-sama away.)" He thought to himself, "(These false books might be traps meant to protect the actual knowledge the Sage wanted to hide… or maybe that place isn't a Library to begin with, but just an part of the trial per se left behind, or perhaps it's a prison of memories for that damnable Archbishop as punishment for her accused powers of playing with lives…)"
Yet, as Julius contemplated his assumptions, something new made him pause on his feet, forcing him to straighten his back and focus his attention into alarm due to shock, "Great… Now I must be hallucinating…" He states, feeling delusion as stumbled into what appears to be a ghostly silhouette of someone familiar a few feet away from him… someone strikingly similar to his pitiful friend whom he had lost yesterday.
"Subaru…"
Indeed, there he was, a faint image lingering on the wind of the corridor towards the fifth floor… He stood there, adorned in his old tracksuit, looking at him with an agonized expression, mouth hanging out in a frothing, soundless frenzy of scream that remained for a seconds before the man himself fell into his knees and proceeded to do exactly what Julius preventing himself from repeating seconds ago, aka, smash his head into the floor, over and over, as if to try to knock himself out.
And in the middle of it, watching this macabre scene of maddened self-torture, Julius could swear he heard the frantic words of his friend constantly asking, "Why!?"
"…"
"Why… Why… Why did that happen… Why, why, why… WHYYYYY!?" The apparition screaming, his face morphing mouth and nose together, the single cavity opening far beyond what a human being should be capable of, as if trying to emulate a creature seeking to feast on the very world before him… "Why…" It asked.
"..."
Gulping his throat, the Knight gripped the handle of his sword, slowly approaching the mirage for an inspection… However, when he did so, the thing that looked like his friend but tormented noticed him and simply vanished, it's ghastly body scattering through the wind, leaving no trace of its existence anywhere.
"...By the dragon…" Julius exclaimed, closing his eyes tightly before assuring himself that he had seen something, or nothing at all. When that proved to be the latter, he quickly chose to make haste for the encampment, no longer wanting to linger around for a second later…
"...and so that's the current situation."
"..."
As Echidna laid on the last events that occurred to those who lost consciousness last night, a numb silence was cast into the room. Surprisingly enough, none among her company made much of a fuss once they woke up. Rather, it was the opposite, they seemed calm and restrained as ever, with marks beneath their eyes and a pale semblance of hunger on the skin despite the assurance of Julius's spirits about their health. In fact, Echina had to admit that the magic finally worked as intended. One could compare the survivors here to zombies as they rose from the floor, sitting idly by while poorly ascertaining their surroundings with a remarkable lack of focus.
"Subaru…" Emilia muttered first, finally able to process what had occurred, "Subaru suffered a loooot, didn't he?" She affirmed somberly, the tone of voice so faint that it made her want to smile in response, but suddenly the desire ended immediately after.
"Did he? I'm not so sure 'bout that." Anastasia countered weakly, "If he did go through that… *breaths in, breaths out, breaths in, breaths out*, then he's a better actor than any of us… Powerful as heck too, 'cause there ain't no survivin' that mess with either flesh or mind intact..." The princess exclaimed.
"Indeed, it's fortunate that you had proposed testing magic as a countermeasure. I cannot imagine the result of undergoing this blindly…" Echidna complemented.
"This is more proof then…" Ram quickly states in an accusation, "Those books are definitely false."
"..."
Unlike the rest, the red oni had laid back on the floor the moment things were explained in full. Reasonably enough, the maid was far too tired to present herself in a more professional manner right now, much less go on about serving her superior a well deserved breakfast to appease her lack of appetite, "...While Barusu is a shameless masochist, he hasn't shown any hint of being affected by something this dire, which is obvious, since none of it ever happened…"
To which the fox contested, "Even then, we could still explore and make a few connections here, like how Natsuki managed to secure Beatrice's help for example. I assume he did employ Roswaal's words of advice to do so, right?" She suggests, turning to her greater sibling who didn't bother to face nor answer them, "Of course, I guess that discussing the terms of a spiritual contract might be too much of a private thing to ask, but what about everything else? That place with the ruins; the Sanctuary; this trial we've heard about; that squabble with the tiger-boy with your camp… Obviously he wasn't recruited back then, but despite that, it's baffling how there was no mention of any of these things in your camp's report of the Great Rabbits' vanquish, nor anything about a barrier trapping mixed-races anywhere in the country… Could you explain what's that about?"
"..."
Faced with that particular question, Emilia's members are left stunned, and for good reason. Unknown to Anastasia's Camp and the Lugnica's Crown essentially, Roswaal's family made it their mission to safeguard the settlement that served as the Graveyard of the Witch of Greed. That meant hiding its existence from public records, listing it as nothing but some small outpost overseeing the forests, barely worthy of any taxes or commerce. If the Sanctuary needed resources, Roswaal would discreetly fix it for them, directing trusted servants to do so to keep his master's tomb unnoticed to the greater world.
In other words, this was a secret of the highest caliber for their camp, and yet another crippling weakness they couldn't afford letting out. Roswaal basically implied to them that if the Sage Council discovered anything about that place, then Emilia's campaign would be in serious jeopardy. Worse yet… Should that ever happen, Roswall himself declared he would do something… drastic, to fix things back to order, regardless of any threat made against him. Thus, Emilia and the others wouldn't talk. They simply couldn't with these circumstances. They have too much to lose doing this interrogation now.
So, with Emilia still blank in the head, Ram had to take the stand and speak for the camp.
"No."
"No?"
"No."
"..."
"..."
Sensing tension, Anastasia tried to ease it up, "Come on, I'm sure you could simply summari-"
"No." But the maid wouldn't relent, "Everything we told the sage council is everything that needed to be said. The same applies here. The Great Rabbit was found and defeated by Barusu's hand with help from both Beatrice and Emilia-sama. We all had the misfortune of stumbling into the beast, and so we dealt with it as needed. That's all there is to it. As for these pointless memories… You already know Ram's stance. I kindly suggest you to move on from it. It has brought us enough pain already." She finishes in a clean monotone slate, straight-faced like a mountain.
"..." So, as one would expect, this left little room for a conversation, which, interestingly enough, can be an answer of its own when one puts things into context. Echidna quickly took notice of this, already connecting some dots here and there for the record. Were Ram and her liege clearer of mind, maybe this dismissive excuse could have been employed in a more tactful manner to push away the issue, but, with the sheer numbness brought about being literally devoured alive the past night, thinking is becoming a quite hard endeavor for Emilia's Camp as a whole.
"Uhhh, Aw~kward~"
That said, one soul did comment something nonetheless, stretching her vocals out from nowhere. Meili interjected in that silence with mischievousness. Compared to the rest of them, she seemed rather lively despite their shared moments of crippling weakness and delirium, "I gotta say, I didn't expect onii-san to be in tha~t much trouble when Elsa and I attacked the mansion… Ros-chi was being quite nasty and wicked, wasn't he?" She lambasted explicitly, adding a slight glee as the maid beside her frowned.
"Kindly watch your words, child. Don't make Ram waste her hand spanking you later." The red oni delivered her warning.
"Sorry, sorry, I just couldn't contain myself~" The assassin retorted childishly, "But seriously though, if what you guys say is true, then that clown re~ally wanted to get rid of Onii-chan back then. Kinda cruel of him, but I guess I understand. Onii-chan really likes stepping on people's shoes now and then." She expressed semi-innocently.
"Tch!"
Hearing this banter, both Echidna and Anastasia were perplexed, glancing at each other to confirm the same suspicion, "(...Their sponsor wanted to get rid of Natsuki-kun?)" It is certainly implied there, distinctly so…
However, before the fox could question that, the merchant had other ideas, "Huh… Well aren't ya quite the cheerful one this morning? I figure you would be more broken than the rest of us." She affirmed, faking a mix of a distraction blended with a mending talk and her curiosity on the matter.
"Ah we~ll… I wouldn't say tha~t." Meili informed, the light in her eyes vanishing so slightly, "I'm just… used to feeling pain like this." She revealed something shocking. Though her hands trembled, the girl assassin simply shrugged it off by waving it away, "Mama isn't exactly the most rational of moms, you know~ She has a tendency of disciplining us at her own whim from time to time, mostly whenever she gets bored or angry. So, a bunch of rabbits feasting upon me? It's no big deal~, or at least not when compared to having your entrails inside out while you still live and breathe… So… yeah…" The beast mistress finishes, smiling ever so softly while claiming what everyone felt was a lie by judging at how she behaved telling this.
The braided girl seemed broken indeed, more than the usual considering her tragic upbringing. Then again, none could deny her fortitude in being able to act this straightforward after facing last memory…
It gets to the point of leaving Anatasia rather uncomfortable, "Oh, right… Good to know, I guess." And exchanging eyes with Echina again, she mentally asks, "(Okay, just who is this girl? And what's THAT about?)"
To which the fox sighed, merely signaling an "(Later…)" to her, just as Julius had returned, looking paler than he had left as he brought about their pre-prepared rations.
"Did I miss anything?"
"…"
"Meh, nothin' worth mentionin'. (Just a loooot of secrecy laid about…)" The merchant princess affirmed with a poker smile.
"Hm…"
From there, for the sake of levity, both camps would focus their minds nourishing themselves in silence first before bringing up any new discussions. Yet, to say that things were fine or calm would be naught but a lie, for much tension remained, both due to the torture they had sustained and due to contents of the memory itself, which is turning to be quite the touchy subject for Emilia and her crew… Avoidance seemed to be the norm, Anastacia noted. She knew that they were only getting snippets of something greater at hand here, and that her rival was hiding something big. As to what that is… Well, that's the treasure to be pursued.
While the excuse of the book being false was still valid because of its sheer absurdity from the impossible scenarios it presents, it's the little things in between the visions that seemed to hold the clue here, namely, the distinction of what is and what is not a discrepancy.
Subaru's words… His manners… The things that went on his mind, like unbound regret, the insistence of wanting to prove himself, to save everyone even at the cost of his life. Hell, his fearlessness at some points, to the point of wanting to bite his own tongue to kill himself… . Yes, he would panic, yell and scream like any other person when in danger, but there seemed to be something more at play here, something of ploy he was trying to prevent even though it was too late. Either he was in denial to face this truth, or he actually could find the solution.. well, who knows.
In summary, If such a scenario did happen (and there are hints that it did, regardless of what the oni maid said), then their Natsuki-kun obviously managed to solve that mess on his own, while his memory-self failed…
So where does this leave them? How did he manage to deal with this and later go on to kill the Great Rabbit? How did they convince that hotheaded boy Garfiel to join their camp? And what's this about an attack on Roswaal' mansion with the owner himself apparently attempting to kill one of his own subjects while clearly lying about being their ally as the memory suggested? With the situation on their part long solved, what are Roswaal's current day allegiances and intentions? Did they come to an agreement? Convince him out of it? So many questions, so little answers, and that's with a giant wall of secrets to boot…
"(Hmm… You guys are not making it easy huh… If I had to guess, then the biggest clue to solve this is… her…)" Anastasia deduced, staring at the yet distant Great Spirit who still hasn't said a word of note after her little scandal earlier.
…
And truly, if she could have her way, Beatrice definitely would, without batting an eye in fact. She's not beholden to any of them, not even Emilia (supposedly), so no attention or demand could force her to speak if she didn't want to. However… Unbeknownst to them all, if someone were to ask what the Great Spirit felt at face of this terrifying recollection, then beneath all the trauma and fear… all the disappointment and confusion of it all, Beatrice would react with a resigned anger, an denouncement of it all due to the atrocity of what it represents.
"(It is a lie, I suppose… That's all it is… it's all it has to be, in fact…)" She mentally affirmed, shivering on her spot while being consumed by an intense fear that she knew it had a purpose, but that the prospect was too horrible to contemplate. She just saw the impossible, and that's all that it is… Her Subaru is alive and well, far from her touch, yes, but alive nonetheless, and that's all that matters!
Those strange, self-harming apparitions demanding her about why did that happen? None of it is real. They are lies as well. Figments of her imagination…that's what the loli spirit had deduced after hours upon hours of being startled awake during the night… Her answer? Denial… Denial, denial, denial. It's what she could do. It's her only choice… Call it shameful, cowardly, or anything else, but it is what it is. This is all but just a meaningless nightmare that will soon go away (supposedly), for these accursed books are NOT, in fact, real…
Or so she thought, a second before the ever present comfort of mana in the environment simply lifted, unveiling not only the mountain of books standing right before her little constricting eyes, but also the true state of the Library, an chaotic mess pile of hundreds of tomes sprawled near the walls surrounding them, the last vestige of yesterday's nightmare that mirrored the Great Spirit's mind in it's turmoil: A library completely disturbed, desecrated and ruined…
…
"...You all have done well so far. We will handle it from here, so rest my ladies. Rest for now." Spoke the rainbow knight, Julius, finally dismissing his hard working spirits after a whole night of their long attendance.
"Oh dear…" And as the magic glyph faced from sight, Emilia and the others could only stare with shock as they realized how drastic their situation is. The library truly had collapsed. The power that kept the books hidden vanished, so they are left now with the view of them standing in the eye of the storm… where instead of a storm, everything surrounding them aside from the door is books… thousands and thousands of them. This was frightening to see when you know their properties.
Even as their pages were faced away, they alone cast an aura of fear and heaviness upon their shoulders as the spirit's magic that kept them sane washed away, leaving this strange feeling of them being haunted by something eerie in the shadows, a presence that they couldn't quite see… but knew it was there somewhere. Whatever comfort they had at not being able to process their sensations and emotions of trauma now was gone, leaving only a lingering phantom, ready to spark a panic induced by agonizing memory trapped in a loop.
And things only got worse from there, for when through their brief moment of silence watching this, one of the books atop of the pile eventually fell right at their feet, cover closed and innocuous. Of course, that alone shouldn't have meant anything considering the odds… but fate was presenting herself as quite the callous and cruel mistress as they had always known, taunting them by bringing out that same name inscribed on its title to plant a seed of doubt, fear, dread and… curiosity, towards yet another volume of what instigated this whole drama to begin with…
菜月・昴・ 巻・ XXI
Another book of Natsuki Subaru.
"Ah…" Beatrice gasped as she spotted it first, being the closest to it as she was laid on the ground, "No…" Her butterfly eyes trembled, watering up as she pushed herself away, "Not possible, I suppose. Not possible, in fact…" She muttered, fearful and sacred.
"Another one!?" The half-elf shouted quite startled herself, almost screaming while she froze her spot once more.
"...This makes it the fourth one that we've found." Anastasia affirmed, making the motion to grab it, "Well? What should we do with it?" Unlike last time, the merchant princess wasn't so inclined to make this an adventure anymore. She had learnt her lesson.
"Burn it. Simple and easy." Ram quickly suggests it when the opportunity comes, "I would try shredding safely if possible, but that would leave a giant mess on the floor, something Ram doesn't want to bother with."
"..."
Well… The maid was aggressively dismissive as always, that's for sure. However, that was but a hidden facade to mask her growing fears of witnessing yet another uncomfortable tragedy to someone vaguely… beloved, so to say. And truth be told, Ram already had many of those committed to memory. As cruel and blunt as she is with her words, seeing Barusu suffer the way he did was already bad enough, but feeling his pain directly on her skin? Even worse. It was an unacceptable torture. If there's no actual merit in dealing with these clearly false memories, Ram would rather burn it all. After all, she had enough of strange malicious books bringing about delusions and madness into her loved ones…
"Harsh." Anastasia simply comments, making the oni shrug.
"I have said my piece."
Meili on the other hand, "Well, I wooouldn't mind reading it for you guys if you re~ally want it, but not before someone else does it first~ Tee Hee~ I might be used to it, but I don't like feeling pain, so I would rather avoid it if possible." She clarifies, still eerily cheerful with that vacant gaze. And unsurprisingly, many shared the same sentiment.
"I vouch for not reading it. It's not a good idea right now." The Greatest of Knights pronounced, his demure and presentation being extremely serious, almost glaring with unnerving anger in his face, which is far from the great elegance and etiquette he always carried himself with before this whole reading ordeal started, "We don't have any protection spell at the ready and my maidens are still resting. It will take a while before I can set up something and we know for sure that whoever reads it will experience every piece of pain and torment should the death be particularly vicious… Granted, I can't stop any of you from reading it, including you Anastasia-sama, but I cannot in good conscience let you do this. It's too dangerous."
"So what? We just avoid it then? Just like that?" The merchant princess asks, judging her options.
"What do we have to gain from it?" Julius argues back, surprising her, "These books are unreliable at best, prone to carry memories that we can't confirm with any veracity. There's no point in risking our mind and sanity for so little reward."
"He speaks the truth, Ana, at least on the account of our camp." Echidna partially conceded, presenting an stance, "If any of us still intend to go through with it, then I'll mention that we don't need everyone to read this at once… What we did yesterday was a blind mistake of stupid proportions. While they did help a lot, Julius's spirits can only do so much to ward off the memory's effects. And even then, as we've learned, it depends on the intensity. If we truly must know what's inside of it, then we just need someone strong of mind for the task to sacrifice himself to relay it all for the rest…" The fox was proposed as an alternative.
"..." Yet, as for who that strong person would be… None dared to step up. And truly, after being devoured alive, fake or not, reluctance was abound when dealing with another likely scenario.
"GAAAAARRRH!" Suddenly however, in the middle of that silence, a LOUD screech startled the group whole as Patrasche announced herself from behind the little assassin. Growling heavily, she stared angrily at the book, intending to challenge it alone if possible…
"Huh… I guess Patrache's is in for it. Gotta watch out for onii-san, right?" Meili interprets her as the dragon humphed with pride. She was definitely stronger than most in that room…
But, It's a shame they couldn't rely on her however… Said bravery may be good and all, but without being able to speak the common tongue, it's futile…
"Subaru…"
Alas, seeing that courage from Patrasche, Emilia trembled in recollection. Her thoughts went back to the witch's tomb, to her own moment of weakness that day, of how she couldn't accept her perceived mistake of losing Mother Fortuna and Guese. Back then, it was too much for a child to lose someone so close in such a violent way to an uncaring witch. It brought out the anger in her when denial couldn't stand, a little elf child seeking to freeze away her issues, to end the world to bury her anguish atop a sheet of frost and snow…
The same feeling she felt then, echoed into the present now, with Emilia unable to deny the nightmare she lived through and felt in her very skin… Despite being in company of many, the half-elf still felt isolated even in a group, thinking how the other just couldn't possibly understand what she went through, or of how horrible it felt needing someone to save her again when they honestly couldn't be bothered. Subaru and Puck were gone… They have left her alone again, alone with all this pain and horror to burden with…
Yet, unknown to Emilia, if she bothered to ask, the others would try to help regardless, for they were all friends in there, caught in this mess together… But the empathy within her wouldn't allow it, not wanting to pressure with an experience that she had partaken even though they went through the same.
And now, faced with yet another book of her beloved knight, a knight that went through a lot with asking little, if actually nothing, in return except for her love… Would she dare braving this trial to seek the truth of his fate? Would she dare seek to learn the source of her knight's woes and witness his torment though his flesh? Emilia felt her faith waver…
"There's… no need to, right? No point in doing it… The half-elf stuttered, visibly scared, "They are not real anyway. Just a bunch of mean memories that didn't happen… My Subaru is fine out there. I just need to find him, so…" Making her choice, many took it for granted, accepting her stance without demanding anything.
That however didn't mean that Emilia herself didn't feel disgusted at her own words, choosing abandonment of this trial even though it was optional at best. And why wouldn't she, seeing with her own eyes the torment of her knight at her very feet? Indeed, all around her, to the shocking ignorance of her peers, Subaru's ghastly form, clawed his way into her frost-layered lap, his face melting like wax in its tormented state, like a damned ghost whose existence was denied from an afterlife.
"Why…" He would whisper, almost judging the half-elf for her cowardice, "Why?" He asked, possibly wanting to know her reasons.
Is this a sign that she made a mistake? That she was running away from her problems again when she promised to do otherwise? Emilia couldn't tell. She couldn't think… or more likely, she didn't want to think of it, closing her eyes and shaking her head violently while hoping all of this would just end and go away…
"I see… So that's how it is…" She would hear Echidna speak in a disappointed tone, making the half-elf flinch in rebuke.
"I'm sorry…"
"No no… I understand your reluctance. It's only fair after all." The fox addressed it first, before voicing her actual opinion, "However, be it now or later, I just hope you understand how you and your camp cannot ignore this." The spirit continues, staring at Emilia directly in her eye, "...I mean, forgive my rudeness, but this is your knight we are seeing here, and your contractor to boot, Beatrice." She directed her words to both of them.
"..."
"By now, you should already have figured out that the way Natsuki-kun recovered his memories was NOT a feat of solving the trials, and NOT because he faced and defeated that third Archbishop… No, in actuality, there's only one place he could have gone to do it and it's obvious to everyone: This very place where we are, the Library of the Dead. That's how he did it." Echidna revealed to them, slowly morphing doubt into a feeling of discovery, of epiphany, "And we know this because he did it so before every threat was dealt to begin with." She revealed, reminding them.
That made everyone: from Emilia, Beatrice and an even distant Ram, gasp in shock, "...!?"
"Ah… That's true… He did recover all of it right after I left, I suppose…" The Great Spirit affirmed, angry at herself for not noticing it sooner.
"But, but…!" The half-elf was flabbergast.
"...I'm sorry for casting out this suspicion on him, but who's to say that your Subaru even has the right memories if we believe these books to be wrong?" Echidna continued dropping an even greater epiphany.
"..." They couldn't quite deny that possibility now could they? Indeed, as horrible as it is to imagine this reality, such a revelation had to inevitably cast a doubt on everything they knew of Subaru's behavior after his recovery…
Could it be true? Was their Subaru different? No… It didn't appear so. But then what is real and what is not with these books? Why do they contradict the truth of him being alive when he always ends up dying? Are they really memories or something else? The same questions that they had stumbled before were repeated once again, the veil of denial from which they used to protect themselves cast aside at the circumstances of being cornered with evidence…
And the first one to question this was none other than the Beatrice...
"My save point hasn't changed… Attempt number three…" Subaru mutters, right in the beginning of the book as he suddenly woke up.
"(No… Could it be…?)"
Despite being a spirit trapped in the shape of a fox, It was clear to everyone that Echidna's intellect was worthy of the dreaded name of the Witch of Greed.
Beatrice didn't give a voice to these thoughts of course, seeing it as blasphemous to her memories of mother, but she had to inwardly admit it: She had let her fear of truth, of knowledge itself, take over her pretty little heart…
She was about to let that fear paralyze her into a state where she would wait for her Subaru, her real Subaru, to just somehow, perchance, return from whatever hell he's involved with in Vollachia to go and scoop her in his hands like a child who's unable to anything instead of her, the Great Spirit Beatrice, trying to fulfill her part of their contract and seek the truth behind his trouble on her own two feet. Hell, now that she thinks of it, why didn't she consider this to be a potential clue to his nightmares to begin with!? The ones he wouldn't or couldn't speak of!? It was so obvious!
Oh Beatrice was seething, she was fuming angrily at her own display of weakness but a few minutes ago… How could she have been so stupid!?
"Tch… I guess it can't be helped." She finally spoke, glancing at the tome for a second before bluntly facing the half-elf, "What will you do, in fact?"
Emilia shivered at her words, the fear of death still ingrained in her right there, "I…I…" But, as she recalled that horrific memory and backtracked at her knight's words, his every moment trying to comfort her, to assuage her fears, to impart his faith in her like he always had done… It brought about some motivation to latch on. It should have been obvious. Like the nincompoop that he is, it hurt her to hear how he didn't think that it was her time yet to face her past skulking around at Garfiel's pace in that memory, but still… In the end, he still believed that she would be able to face it in time.
And she did. Proudly even, before anyone even thought she was ready… All it took was Subaru himself to bash his head and expose her flaws, something that incidentally was the same thing Echidna did here even though, again, it was an optional choice.
"Emilia-sama?" The half-elf hears her name from the mouth of a Ram nearby, "Are you okay?" She explicitly asked out of sudden, "You have unsightly tears in your eyes…"
"Eh!?"
"This makes for a poor example of a leader in the face of others you know." The oni added with little expression, regardless of the embarrassment, "If it's too much for you, then-"
"-gosh, Ram, Subaru's right! You can re~ally be mean sometimes!" Emilia flared out, hastily cleaning herself up, "I'm fine. I was just… a little scared." She confessed, before catching up with another breath, "But I get it now… You are right, Eridna. I cannot ignore this. We, can't ignore this." She states, looking at both Beatrice, Ram and the tormented Subaru at her feet, "I know it will be painful, and scary… but so long I know our Subaru is out there fighting onwards, I can do this. I can be strong."
And so, with that vibrant resurgence that seemly banished the ghostly echo into nothingness, Echidna was pleased, "...In that case, I assume you volunteer to look into it?"
To which the half-elf nodded without hesitation, lest doubt and fear return. She just stretched her hands to receive it, shouting, "Yes!" at her.
"Hmph! How dare you to peek into Subaru's memories without my permission, I suppose!" Beatrice complained, arms crossed with pouting cheeks, "This tome contains some of Betty's Subaru's most precious memories, I suppose. It's my duty as his Great Spirit to oversee them, in fact!"
Hearing that, Emilia was comically flustered, "O-oh, that's right… But… But… I'm the candidate here, Subaru's future… beloved? Queen? Leader! I'm his leader, so I have to be the one to do it!" However, facing an even angrier pout, the half elf couldn't resist, "Urgh… okay, maybe we could, erm, read it together?" She offered a reluctant counter-proposal, extending a hand to Betty, who easily accepted it.
"Hmph, how reckless of you, I suppose. I don't like where this will lead us but I'll shall take your offer, in fact."
"Erm, didn't we just establish how it's risky it is to read it in groups?" Julius reminded them, sweat dropping at their eagerness to reenact the same mistakes, "You two are only going to hurt yourself reading without any protection. It's still too dangerous."
"Ah… well…"
"Julius-kun~" He flinched at His liege lady's sudden tone at his side, where stood a smiling, if angry, face from Anastasia, "Don't dismiss their courage Ser Knight, this is their affair to deal with, not ours~" She admonished him.
"O-of course, my Lady. My mistake…"
"It's fine, Julius. If we do this together, we will be even stronger!" Emilia expressed, holding her chin up for a second, before turning serious, "Besides…" Glancing behind the knight and the rest of the group, the half-elf grimaced at the now-shifting phantom of Subaru smashing his head on the ground blinking in and out of existence repeated in her sight before becoming motivated, "I don't want to see Subaru suffer anymore than you all do. I just want to know the truth." She declares with mind and heart decided.
"Hm… Very well then, I wish you luck and strength." The knight bowed.
"Live strong, onee-chan~. Hope the pain isn't as bad as the last one~" Meili cheered in her blatant use of poor words, only to be karate chopped on the head by Ram, "Ow!"
"Be quiet, you little pest…" Then, facing the two book-readers, the red oni's face remained the same as always, "Ram would like to make it clear though. While I cannot stop your decision, Emilia-sama, let it be known that I don't approve of this." The oni states outloud, shocking then right away before turning to gaze at the fox, "Regardless of what you say, I'm starting to believe that the Sage of old wasn't exactly unscathed after facing the dreaded Witch. There is simply no point in creating a place like this, with these pointless life threatening trails and all this dangerous knowledge being let loose so recklessly… Nothing good can come out of it, I'm sure."
"..."
"That said, I do wish you success as well. Kindly return us mentally intact if at all possible. Or else Barusu is going to unfairly blame me for letting this happen in my sight." She finishes, bowing towards the two of them before stepping back to let them do what they must.
"Don't worry, Ram, we'll be back well soon!"
And so, holding the XXI volume with their hands together, both Emilia and Beatrice then turn the cover open and succumb into yet another untreasured well of memories strung together from their beloved friend/contractor… Its contents most certainly filled with potential knowledge, secrets, pain, and ultimately, a death of some shape or form at the end for them to experience…
With hope, they wouldn't return traumatized from its vision, and that the truth will be revealed soon so that they could put an end to this adventure for good.
Or at least, they wished for it…
…
To be Continued…