The next morning Sasuke gets up at sunrise but Sakura's apartment is already empty. There's a note on the table in the kitchen.

"Left for work. Sakura"

There's a key next to it. He had expected an awkward morning talk but she thankfully spared them the trouble.

He studies all the things in her apartment that he had not noticed the night before. The well-furnished kitchen. The old and heavy medicine books that pile up by the couch. The pictures on the shelves and the walls. A large group photo, taken at Naruto's wedding, gathers all of their former classmates. She still has the picture of their team with Kakashi. Pictures with her friends, her coworkers, pictures of her, graduating as a jonin and as a doctor. Sakura has been doing well on her own while he was away.

He heads out and meets with Kakashi and Shikamaru at the Hokage tower to catch up on current matters. He was more or less aware of the situation outside of the village but he needs to review several years of internal affairs and political relationships with the other villages before he can hope to be assigned more important missions.

When he returns to Sakura's place in the evening the apartment is quiet and Sakura's bag is not there. The night is already well advanced when he goes to bed and he has not heard her come home yet.

"So… Sasuke's crashing on your couch?" Ino asks Sakura with a teasing smile. They are at the tea house during Ino's lunch break from the flower shop. Sakura knows that news travels fast but she didn't expect to hear comments about it so soon. She shakes her head. "He's in the spare room."

"In your closet?"

"It's an actual room."

Ino has a disapproving pout. "Couldn't he just find a place for himself?"

Sakura avoids her gaze and slowly stirs her tea with her spoon. She cannot explain what got into her the night before when she offered for him to come over. She felt guilty and she was tired, when she saw him walking down the street she spoke faster than she could think and didn't fully realize what she was offering. Part of her was even sure he would refuse. Now he is there, and she is trying to convince herself that she didn't make a mistake.

"I'm just helping," she says. "You know half of the village thinks he shouldn't be here… And he couldn't really stay with Naruto and Hinata."

It makes sense, she thinks. She is one of the only ones of their generation not to have a relationship or a family on the way. She has an apartment where she barely ever stays. There is no reason not to let him use the spare room.

Ino still has a side smile. "... And you felt bad about his arm," she says. "Shizune told me you weren't exactly gentle with him."

Sakura shrugs. "He survived." She sighs and squares her shoulders. "It's fine, really. I'm never home anyway."

"What did Toshi say?"

Sakura briefly thinks about the guy she's seeing, when she's not spending her nights at the hospital. After coming to terms with the idea that Sasuke was not interested in her, she had started dating other people, and now there's no reason for Sasuke's arrival to change her current dating life. "It's none of his business."

Ino doesn't seem convinced. Her tone is not teasing anymore. "Are you sure about all of this?" she asks with concern.

"Yeah. You know how Sasuke is, he doesn't talk to me anyway… It's fine," Sakura repeats. "We'll barely see each other."

Sasuke is there when she comes home that evening. He has put down his sword and changed into thick sweatpants and a T-shirt. It is unusual to see him in something that is not a training outfit or a black cloak. He seems a bit less out of place than when he first arrived. Less intimidating.

"Thanks for the key," he says, after an awkward moment of silence between them in the living room.

"Oh." She wondered if he would find it strange to be given the key to her place on the first night. "Yeah, it's easier if you can come and go whenever you want."

"I'll find another place quickly."

She shrugs to make herself look indifferent. "It's alright if you have to stay for a bit. It's not like I need the room."

Oh no, why did she say that? No, it's obviously not fine if he stays. He seems surprised but she doesn't have the courage to go back on her words. They exchange another embarrassing glance and a new moment of silence. Soon she cannot take the tension anymore, she avoids his eyes, walks past him to get to her bedroom, and closes the door behind herself. Her heart beats too fast. She hates that he has this effect on her. She doesn't feel like herself anymore when she's around him. Her apartment smells like men's shower gel.

Things don't improve during the week. She doesn't get used to the idea of him living in her place. It soon makes her life quite complicated as she tries to see him as little as possible.

"Sakura!" Shizune snaps at her as Sakura is dozing off on a pile of medical documents in the breakroom of the hospital. Sakura jumps in surprise. Shizune is standing much too close and looking at her with squinted eyes.

"What are you doing here?"

Sakura glances down at the papers under her hands. "... Working?"

"You're not on the schedule. You should be home."

"I was just finishing something quick."

"You should have left three hours ago."

Sakura avoids her gaze. Shizune doesn't back down. "You've arrived early and stayed late all week. Did you even go back home last night?"

No, she didn't. It somehow felt easier to crash in an on-call room instead of going home and seeing her new roommate. Her own words echo in her mind. "It's alright if you have to stay for a bit." What got into her to make her say this? It's like a part of her is still seeking his attention, his interest, his approbation, while the rest of her screams that she shouldn't fall back into her old ways. Every time she is close to him she feels like a genin again and it's like all these years of hard work and personal growth disappear under his dark gaze.

Shizune sighs and lowers her voice. "Hinata told me you have a new roommate. How's his elbow?"

"He's fine. It's fine."

"You don't look like everything is fine."

"He's just a friend, I'm helping out."

"You can't keep being a zombie at work because you have problems at home. If you can't deal with him, he needs to move out."

With that she turns around and leaves, but her words once again stay with Sakura.

Sasuke thought that staying at Sakura's apartment would inevitably force him to interact with her more often and have more normal interactions, but after a week he has to admit that it's almost the opposite. Sakura is barely ever home. It seems that he only ever sees her accidentally on the doorstep when she's either coming home to sleep or just about to leave. While it makes his life easier not to have to live with her in her small apartment all the time, he cannot help but feel that she is avoiding him. The schedule on the fridge suggests that she should sometimes be home but he never sees her. Twice he comes across her as she is leaving and she practically throws herself out the door upon seeing him. He cannot understand why she offered for him to stay in her spare room if she is so uncomfortable with it. He tries to convince himself that she is simply overwhelmed with work, but it feels like a weak excuse.

At the end of the week he goes to eat at Ichiraku's with Naruto after training and for some reason Naruto cannot stop talking about Hinata. It feels like he cannot talk about anything else lately, and Sasuke cannot help but wonder why this sudden surge of affection. It is slightly annoying, but Sasuke would rather let him talk and listen than have to do the talking himself. He eats quietly while Naruto explains again how he and his wife are planning to move out of their apartment soon to move into a house.

"I picked her up at the hospital this morning after her shift," Naruto says. "We saw Sakura, I think she was leaving, Hinata said that–"

"What's wrong with Sakura?" Sasuke cuts in, almost despite himself. He didn't want to ask but Sakura's attitude has been bothering him and he wants to know what made her so different. He has come to think that maybe it wasn't just him, maybe something happened while he was away and changed her. He has tried to ask his question as casually as possible but it's so unusual for him to ask anything that Naruto stops talking and stares at him. "What?"

"She's acting weird."

"Weird?"

Sasuke looks down at his bowl of ramen. She doesn't pay attention to him anymore. She doesn't blush or fawn over him, she doesn't jump on every occasion she has to be near him or to talk to him. When she is around him, she barely even registers that he is there, if she doesn't purposely go out of her way to avoid him. She doesn't even seem angry at him. It's like they didn't grow up together and were never on the same team. Like he is a stranger and she is not interested in talking to him.

He doesn't say any of this out loud. He shrugs slightly. "I don't know, just... different."

Naruto's small smile makes Sasuke feel self-conscious.

"Did you think she'd wait for you?" Naruto asks, and Sasuke's heart sinks.

Yes. A part of him thought Sakura would always be the young naive girl who was head over heels for him, and ready to love him any time he gave her his attention, no matter his actions. He was so self-centered with his problems and his own life that he thought he could go on his own journey, for however long he needed, and pick things up where he left them when he came back. But Sakura has her own life now. She didn't put everything on hold while he was away. She went on without him, started her adult life, met people, pursued her own goals and aspirations.

The humiliation of the truth is burning. He feels almost disgusted that he was so full of himself he thought she would still give him all her attention while he gave her nothing in return. He keeps staring at his bowl. He doesn't know what to answer.

"It took her a long time after you left, you know," Naruto says, "to be normal again. Now… I don't know what she thinks, it's complicated, you know?"

Sasuke doesn't know what to think either. A terrible thought comes to his mind. "You think she was happier when I was away?"

Naruto seems surprised by his question. He shakes his head. "Naaaahhh she's still Sakura, you know? And you're still you. She just needs time. You've been away for ages, she doesn't know what you're like now."

Sasuke doesn't reply. He doesn't know her anymore either.

Sakura keeps staying late at work and coming home when she is sure not to see her roommate. Ino shakes her head when they see each other at the flower shop after Sakura's shift and Sakura admits that the situation is not ideal.

"I'm not saying I told you so but…" Ino says with a look that clearly means "I told you so."

Sakura sighs. "I'm glad to give him a place to stay but I… I feel so weird around him. I never know what he's thinking. He probably always thinks I'm annoying."

Ino throws away a bouquet of dead flowers and wipes her hands on her apron. "Even if you talk to him again it doesn't mean you accept everything he's done," she says slowly, as she sits down at the counter to give Sakura all her attention. "It doesn't mean you go back on everything you've done either. You're not the girl you were back then. You can handle this. You're not gonna combust on the spot if you talk to him."

Sometimes it feels like that. It feels like his gaze on her burns through her skin. It feels like if she had stayed in this hospital room with him just a minute more she would have melted into the stupid little girl she used to be.

"I don't know how to act with him. He looks like… he's changed."

Ino shrugs. "Just act like with a normal roommate? You tell him not to leave his laundry in the bathroom and you eat his leftovers in the fridge when he's not home. What kind of shower gel does he use?" she asks, with avid curiosity. "Does he use stuff in his hair to make it stand up like that at the back of his head?"

Sakura can't help a small laugh. Sometimes she forgets that Sasuke, despite everything, is just a normal human being. She gives a weak smile. "I don't know."

"You're not seriously gonna let him push you out of your own apartment, right? Go home," Ino adds as she tightens her apron again and picks up fresh flowers. "And sleep, your dark circles are scary."

Sakura does go home. Sasuke is already in his room for the night when she gets home and she doesn't see him. In the bathroom while she brushes her teeth, she sees his shower gel on the side of the bathtub. It's a three-in-one face, hair, and body wash. Very human. Ino is right, she shouldn't let Sasuke make her change her life. It's her apartment after all. She lies in the comfort of her own bed and promises herself not to let him overwhelm her anymore.

"SASKE!"

That morning Sasuke turns around in time to dodge Naruto running toward him on the way to the Hokage tower. "You could just say hi," he mumbles.

Naruto doesn't seem to care at all. He looks much too energetic for how early it is, even for him. He has a wide, proud grin. "Hinata's pregnant!" he announces loudly. "She said I can tell everybody now!"

Sasuke cannot help a blink of surprise. Naruto and Hinata have been married for almost a year, it's only in the natural order of things, and yet it feels awfully quick. It seems like just a short while ago they were twelve and had nothing to worry about but waiting for Kakashi to finally show up for morning practice, and now his friends are getting married and having kids. Naruto seems genuinely ecstatic, so Sasuke keeps his thoughts to himself. He quickly finds his composure. "I'm surprised you figured out how to do that," he says with a side smile.

Naruto shrugs and nods. "Hinata did most of the work actually."

"I don't want to know," Sasuke says with a wince. "Congrats."

Naruto laughs. "It feels strange thinking I'm gonna be a dad, you know?"

"It's very scary thinking you're going to be a dad."

"Hey!"

Sasuke pats him on the back as they turn to keep walking. "You'll do great."

Naruto's announcement stays in Sasuke's mind all day. The idea that Naruto is married and now has a baby on the way makes his brain whirl. While he is genuinely happy for him, he cannot help but compare his own situation to Naruto's. As a kid Sasuke wanted to be like his father, to become the head of the police department, to marry and have his own kids. It sounded like a good, already traced path. It was safe and comforting.

But everything changed overnight, and from then on his path had only been guided by vengeance, and once he had finally appeased his rage, his life fell apart like a house of cards. He thought that after killing his brother he'd be free of his burden and ready to start a new life, start his life, but he found nothing but dull sadness and loneliness. He spent his teenage years hating everything and everyone around him and now the anger is gone and it left a strange void in his life. He hates to admit it but Kakashi did warn him against seeking vengeance and he didn't listen.

Now he doesn't know where he is going anymore. After all the things he has been through, all the things he has done, he cannot imagine ever living a normal life again or starting a family. He is not sure he wants it anymore. He doesn't remember what it's like. Over the past years he has been slowly coming to terms with the idea of living a lonely life and letting his clan die with him. Seeing Naruto's happiness awakens this strange, bittersweet feeling that Naruto went ahead of him, and succeeded where he has failed.

Sakura is home when he gets back to the apartment in the evening. It's unusual to see her at this hour.

"Naruto told me that Hinata's pregnant," he says like he is talking about the weather when she sees him. He feels the need to talk to her about it. It's something they can talk about together. If there is one thing they have in common in their lives, it's Naruto.

Sakura has a soft smile. Her eyes sparkle. "Yeah," she says, "I was the first to know, you know, at the hospital. You should've seen his face. He was so surprised I almost wondered how they made this baby." She laughs lightly. "I'm excited for them."

Sasuke smiles that she had the same reaction as he did himself. "Me too."

Sakura was not expecting Sasuke to talk to her about Naruto and Hinata. She was not expecting him to talk to her at all. She thought he'd be annoyed to have to stay at her apartment and keep his distance from her as much as possible. But when she starts coming home more often, she realizes that living with her roommate is easier than she had imagined. True to himself, Sasuke doesn't talk much, mostly stays in his room whenever he is home, and keeps his things tidy. He never gets in her way in the bathroom or the kitchen, and he is always very quiet when she is sleeping, whether it is during the night or the day depending on her schedule at the hospital. Sometimes she stares at his toothbrush on her bathroom sink like it's a stolen peek into his mysterious private life and she wonders what he actually thinks of their roommate arrangement.

She resumes her regular shifts and gets used to seeing Sasuke whenever she's home. She is, however, soon reminded that the situation is not completely normal when she gets home one morning after a twenty-four-hour shift, early when the sky starts to pale with the first hints of sunlight. Her whole body is sore from running around all night from one patient to another, her mind is numb. The only thing she can think of is her bed that is waiting for her, and she is on autopilot when she walks into her apartment and hangs up her coat. She's taking off her shoes when the door to Sasuke's bedroom slides open. He takes a step into the living room and yawns. It looks like she woke him up when she opened the front door.

Sakura blinks and stares to make sure it's actually him. It is strange to see him so early in the morning, still half asleep, his hair messy and his eyes small. He is usually showered and dressed when she sees him, if not already wearing his long black cloak. Now he is only wearing gray sweatpants that hang low on his hips and no T-shirt. The stump of his arm, usually hidden under his clothes, is tightly bandaged up his bicep and over his shoulder. He rubs his eyes. He makes his way to the kitchen and picks up a mug in the upper cabinet. Sakura's eyes follow his movements. His back is surprisingly muscular. When he is dressed his thick cloak hides his figure and she had not noticed how much he has grown since his teenage years. Several scars contour the side of his waist and a large one runs over the back of his ribs. His shoulders are wider than it seems under his shirt. She eyes the bicep on his right arm and remembers how thick and firm it felt in her hand when she took care of him at the hospital. He fills up the kettle and turns around. His abs are strangely well-defined down to the waistband of his pants. He has another scar over his right hip bone, it's still pink against his white skin, more recent. Sakura's eyes follow the lines of his hips down to the drawstrings of his sweatpants.

"Sakura." His voice is rough from sleep. She looks up. He looks at her with a frown "What are you doing?"

She has stopped in the middle of untying the strap of her shoe, half standing, half crouching in front of the door. Drooling, that's what she's doing. Exhausted after a long night shift, she was not expecting to see him home and shirtless. She blinks. She finishes taking off her shoes and sets them by the door.

"Sorry, I'm tired."

He turns back again to fill his mug with tea. "Go to bed."

"Yeah."

She is incredibly tired but when she lies in bed and closes her eyes, images of him appear in her mind. She hears him open the bathroom door and turn on the shower. She listens to the sound of the hot water and, as she falls asleep, her mind blooms with steamy thoughts.

Sasuke gets used to Sakura's comings and goings at all hours of the night and day. They see each other in the morning or the evening depending on Sakura's shift. He always tries to be silent when he comes in or leaves so as not to wake her up, in case she is home and sleeping. They don't speak much. Sometimes he doesn't see her for a couple of days in a row when their schedules don't match. He himself doesn't come home very early in the evening. He has a lot to catch up on with Kakashi and Shikamaru, who is becoming tenser and tenser both because his wife is extremely pregnant and because he has to pass on a lot of instructions before she gives birth.

That day Sasuke comes in early to get a new mission scroll and quickly realizes that he can fall even lower than he already has.

"What is this?" he asks, as he unrolls the scroll completely and looks at Kakashi after walking into his office without knocking.

Kakashi eyes the document and frowns as he reads the top line. "An E-rank mission."

"As in… lower than D?"

"... Yes."

Sasuke reads over the description of the mission again. It's humiliating. The frustration makes him lose his words. "Cattle jobs are D-rank. It doesn't go lower than that. I won't- I'm not-"

Kakashi nods. He leans over his desk and gets more serious.

"The council… hopes… that you will leave again." Kakashi sighs. "I tried to help but they think I'm biased in your favor. Which, honestly, I am. I can only ask you to be patient."

The fact that Kakashi kowtows to the elders of the council makes Sasuke shake with anger. "Or what?"

Kakashi's shoulders drop slightly. They both know that Sasuke let them put him in jail and then went on his journey outside of the village of his own free will. Beside Naruto, no one can constrain him by force.

"They're scared to see you here again," Kakashi says. "They need time."

"Then why do they not give me a long mission outside?"

"They don't trust you to work for them on important matters. They're not ready to share intel."

"I don't need their trust."

"I know." Kakashi pauses and his tone changes slightly. It looks like he fears Sasuke's reaction. "But I think… it could be worth it, being patient. It could be… a new start. For you."

Sasuke clenches his teeth and tightens his fist around the mission scroll. Why would he need the approval of old people who rule a village that killed his family? He did not come back to be humiliated and to complete missions that should be assigned to seven-year-olds. He wants to reply but when he looks up Kakashi's eyes are soft and he seems genuinely concerned. Sasuke cannot help but think about Naruto, who has always loved Konoha no matter how badly they treated him. And Sakura, who is giving him a place to start anew. He doesn't want to go back to his life of traveling, away from everything that matters to him. He leaves the office without another word.

The only advantage of these genin missions is that he has a lot of free time to get used to living in the village again and to train. Training with Naruto is taking a toll on his body after training alone for so long, but it's a good motivation, and he always comes home sore but satisfied. That afternoon Naruto follows him to the training ground, and they stop by Sakura's apartment to pick up his gear. Sasuke unlocks the front door.

"You have a key?" Naruto asks with surprise.

"I live here," Sasuke says, like he was not himself surprised that Sakura gave him her key.

He pushes the door and walks in. As they take off their shoes Naruto takes a peek inside.

"Hey she's got our picture!" he says with enthusiasm. Sasuke elbows him in the stomach to shut him up and raises a finger in front of his lips to tell him to be quiet. "Sakura's asleep," he mutters, with a glance at the closed door of her bedroom. "She had a night shift."

Naruto rubs his side where Sasuke hit him. He pouts. "How do you know?"

Sasuke pauses. How does he know? He has gotten used to the pattern of Sakura's schedule and he checks the table on the fridge in the morning to see when she'll be home. The sneakers she wears at the hospital are lined up by the door and her work bag is on the floor next to the couch so he knows for sure that she is home. He likes to know in advance when she has a night shift and will be sleeping during the day so he can make sure not to wake her up. He always notes when she will be home at the same time as him and when he will see her when he comes back from his missions. It is just regular organization between roommates, nothing else.

"Just shut up," he scolds under his breath.

"I was just asking!" Naruto whines, still far too loudly, and Sasuke looks back at him and whispers with a dark glare, "Do you want her to wake up and find out that we are the ones who woke her up?"

Naruto winces at the thought of Sakura's wrath. He shrugs and steps out the door.

"I'll wait outside."

When Sasuke comes back after training Sakura is still asleep and he decides to wait until after she gets up to take a shower to avoid waking her.

The next morning changes his daily routine of picking up his mission scroll. Kakashi smiles behind his mask. "Temari gave birth last night, Shikamaru will be absent for a few weeks. Most of the paperwork will be taken care of but I need you to take over some things."

Sasuke can't hide an unhappy pout. He has seen Shikamaru drown under piles of documents. An office job is the last thing he wants.

"It's just for a few things," Kakashi adds. "I thought it'd be a change for you from low-rank missions."

It turns out that doing paperwork, and especially doing the paperwork that Shikamaru left behind, is much more difficult than he expected, and what he thought would be over within a couple of hours takes him all day and a good part of the evening. He comes home late at night after reviewing and sorting reports until his eyes hurt. He is as discreet as usual when opening the front door and taking off his shoes, and he is surprised to find Sakura up, in what looks like pajamas, dragging her feet between the bathroom and her bedroom, half asleep. She rubs her eyelids. It's almost like she's too sleepy to be embarrassed. "Oh hey…" she mutters. "You're back late."

He nods. "Long reports."

His eyes wander down. Her pajamas are a small t-shirt and loose pants. She yawns without restraint and stretches her arms far above her head. Her t-shirt goes up high on her stomach and reveals her belly button. The waistband of her pants sits low on her hips. He stares a bit too long.

"Well goodnight," she says with a sleepy smile as she heads back to her bedroom.

That night he lies wide awake on his futon, looking at the ceiling of his bedroom, thinking about her pajamas. He has been with women before, along his travels, he shouldn't be flustered after seeing her belly button. He has even seen her wearing clothes that revealed her stomach before, when they were kids, and he had never thought anything about it. He can still see the soft curve of her waist and the smooth line of her stomach in his mind. He imagines how it would feel if he touched her side. He gets uncomfortably hot under his comforter and pulls his leg out to cool down. His heart beats too fast and he cannot fall asleep. Maybe he is coming down with something.

They don't talk much but Sakura sees Sasuke home regularly and she sometimes gets to know what he is up to in the village. She was worried that he would be in a foul mood after being given office work and low-rank missions but he seems surprisingly patient with it. When he is not on a mission he is outside training or hanging out with Naruto. He seems to be doing well. This is why she is surprised one night to see the light on in his bedroom long past midnight when she comes home after work. His door is slightly open and she has to walk in front of it to walk into her apartment. Did he fall asleep with the light on? She cannot help but glance inside. She sees him sitting up cross-legged on his futon, his head down and his shoulders tense. She stops. Her heart tightens. The light is dim but she sees how stiff he is. She knows this attitude. She sees it almost every day in the hospital, when patients are in pain.

He looks up and their eyes meet. She briefly worries that he will be mad at her for peeking at him, but he doesn't say anything.

"Are you…" she starts, and she carefully takes a step inside his room. He doesn't react and she comes to kneel next to him by the futon. "Are you ok?"

Sasuke needs a moment to find his words. Since he started training with Naruto he has felt the pain flare up more regularly at the end of the day when his body was exhausted. Now it is not going away anymore. It has been getting worse for hours, preventing him from sleeping and slowly driving him crazy. He didn't mean to let Sakura see him in this state but now she's here and he doesn't want to push her away. She's next to him, not too close, waiting for an explanation with a concerned look. In a short breath, he mutters: "My arm hurts."

He sees her glance at his lone arm and he looks down and avoids her gaze like he doesn't dare to say the truth. It feels humiliating to admit.

"My other arm."

At first he thought he was crazy, feeling pain in a limb he no longer had. She seems briefly surprised but remains silent. When he looks up he can see on her face that she understands.

"It's like… lightning… through my arm," he mutters. He looks away again and lets his bangs hide his face.

They both know the circumstances of his injury. They are painful to remember, and not because of the physical wound. He remembers how she healed the remaining part of his arm, and later bandaged it at the hospital. He remembers how careful and slow she was at wrapping the wound, how she seemed to take more time than necessary, and hesitated before leaving the room, and he understood that she was prolonging his last moments of freedom. Konoha's intelligence was waiting for him behind the door. She left when they walked in to arrest him and he let them put a seal on his eyes. How low he had fallen. The memory, the shame, and the regrets are almost more burning than the physical pain.

Something in her silence as she kneels next to him in his bedroom tells him that she remembers too. She doesn't say anything and he is relieved that he doesn't have to talk about it.

She moves closer and sits beside him. She brings her hands up and glances at him again to ask for permission to touch him. He briefly hesitates, but he doesn't object. His injured arm, torn away a few inches above his elbow, is tightly wrapped in a white medical band. The wound has healed but he has kept wrapping it, for comfort and protection. Carefully, she reaches over his shoulder and finds the end of the band to unwrap it. He feels the band slowly loosen around what is left of his bicep and finally fall on the futon. She pauses and takes a moment to look at the scar. He feels her eyes on him but he doesn't look at her. They are alone and the light is dim, and yet he feels incredibly exposed. Is she grossed out by his injury? She is a doctor, she is used to seeing wounds, she was even the first to see this one, but it doesn't make him feel less self-conscious.

She carefully places a hand on his shoulder and the other on his arm and the contact makes the hair at the nape of his neck stand up. He is not used to being touched, especially not on this arm. He tries not to let his uneasiness show.

He expects pain, like when she popped his elbow back into place, but it doesn't come. Her hands feel warm. After a few seconds he realizes that it's not just the normal heat of her skin. The heat goes deep into his shoulder, spreads under his skin, and reaches his chest and his neck. It is pleasantly soft, almost fuzzy. He focuses on the feeling of her palms on his skin. Her fingers are not moving, just slightly pressing, still gentle against the muscles of his shoulder. She is close. He can smell the scent of her shampoo. She presses her hands just a bit harder against him and it feels surprisingly good. He had not realized that his shoulder was so tense. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, the pain dulls. He can barely believe it. No medication has brought him any relief since he has lost his arm but within minutes of her care the pain is practically disappearing.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

"Relaxing the muscles. They're tightening as if you still had your arm and they can't relax properly. It's very painful over time."

"I thought it was all in my head."

"The pain is real."

After another minute his shoulders relax. The ache is almost completely gone. The relief is so great that he closes his eyes to appreciate it. His breathing calms down. After several days of increasing pain, he can finally catch a break. He feels sleepy. When the warmth stops and she removes her hands, the air feels unpleasantly cold against his bare skin.

She redoes the band around the stump of his arm. There is something comforting in the way she does it, professional and gentle, confident in her movements, soft without superfluous touches. It feels comfortable and secure around his shoulder. He looks at the bandage and then up at her. She has the same serious focused look she had in the hospital. She seems sorry when she looks at him again. "I can't do much more," she says. "It will come back."

"I know."

She gets up and walks to the door.

"Sakura."

She looks at him over her shoulder.

"Thanks."

She nods and closes the door behind herself.

He can still feel her touch on his skin long after she has left the room.

The next day she comes back from the hospital with her big work bag and fishes out a small round container of pills.

"I got you this. For your arm," she says, as she puts it on the kitchen counter.

He shakes his head. "Painkillers don't work."

"It's not a painkiller, it's a muscle relaxant. Take it before sleep if you need it and I'm not there. No more than two at a time."

He had forgotten that he would probably not live with her anymore soon. He nods, but leaves the box on the table.

He only thinks about the pills again the following week, when the pain flares up once more and Sakura is not home. She is out with Ino and he doesn't know when she will come back. He looks on the kitchen counter but he cannot find the little container. He goes back to his room and lies down but cannot close his eyes. The frustration makes the pain worse. It's almost like the idea that Sakura could bring him instant relief makes the pain more difficult to bear. He gets up again to check the bathroom cabinets. He notices Sakura's hospital bag by the couch. She probably put the box back in her bag when she saw that he wasn't using it. He hesitates a few seconds before he squats and opens the bag. He carefully fumbles between the vials and the boxes. He finds the same one she gave him and sighs with relief. He hastily takes two pills with a glass of water, and goes back to bed.

He tries to sleep but the pain doesn't fade as quickly as he expected. He hoped that Sakura had found a medication that works but he has to acknowledge that drugs cannot replace medical chakra. The pain actually seems to be getting worse, to the point that his chest feels tight and his heart rate quickens. Soon his skin is uncomfortably hot and sweaty and he pushes his comforter aside to get some air. It's not enough, and his bedroom starts to feel suffocating. He goes to the bathroom to run his hands under cold water and looks at his reflection in the mirror above the sink. He is bright red. He tries to breathe to calm down but he quickly becomes aware that the heat in his body is centered in his lower abs. It really doesn't seem like a good time and yet he can feel a familiar pull in his sweatpants. He has had erections at strange moments before, but he cannot explain this one. He takes a few steps back and forth in the bathroom but it doesn't seem to go down. On the contrary, it strains uncomfortably against his underwear. What was a curious interest quickly becomes worry. He pulls on the waistband of his sweatpants and boxers to peek under them. He is swollen, dark red, and so sensitive that the slight draft of air that comes from lifting his underwear makes him hiss. He is so engorged that it's painful, and it keeps getting worse. He doesn't remember ever being so hard in his life, especially unprompted. His pulse is beating in his temples. He braces himself on the bathroom counter but the pressure in his groin makes him bend in half and get down on his knees. The heat of his skin makes him lightheaded. He briefly considers how it will sound that the last representative of the Uchiha clan died of the most impressive hard-on ever on his roommate's pink bathroom mat. The thought of it makes him whimper in shame as he lies down next to the bathtub and curls up on himself.

Just when he thinks the situation can't get any worse, he hears the front door open and the sound of Sakura walking into the apartment.

Sakura notices Sasuke's shoes and cloak by the door when she comes in, but she doesn't hear or see him. It's not unusual for him to stay in his room. She tries to use the bathroom after taking off her shoes and coat, but when she pushes the handle down she realizes that the door is locked. She quickly pulls back and says a little "sorry" through the door. She gets no reply and no sound comes from the bathroom despite the ray of light under the door. She hesitates.

"Sasuke?.."

Silence.

"Is… erm… everything alright?"

"Yeah!"

Something in his voice sounds strange. He probably just wants a bit of privacy but the long silence is concerning. "Are you ok?"

She hears movement behind the door and then what sounds like… a whine. She leans closer to the door in concern. "Is it your arm again?"

"The pills don't work."

"Did you need them? I put them in the kitchen cabinet since you didn't take them."

The silence that follows makes Sakura almost glue her ear to the door.

"... I found them in your bag."

Doubt crawls up Sakura's spine. She spots her hospital bag on the floor next to the couch, and kneels to look into it. There is a bottle of pills that she used for the last patient she visited the day before, that looks like the one she gave to Sasuke. She stands back up and knocks at the bathroom door several times.

"I think you took the wrong ones!"

"Just-"

"Did you take two?"

"... Yes."

"Let me in!"

"No!"

She pauses. Why is he so stubborn? She quickly thinks about the meds he took and the effects they have. Headache, hot flush, dizziness. Why would he hide for a headache? She checks the pill bottle again and something comes to her mind. She understands.

"... I know what it's doing to you," she says through the door.

Sasuke feels horribly betrayed that he just wanted pain relief and now finds himself in this situation. "Why are you keeping that in your bag?"

"It's for high blood pressure! It's for old people! In healthy young men it- "

"I'll just wait for it to pass."

"It'll take several hours and it'll get really painful. It's dangerous for your heart."

Sasuke sits up against the bathtub. This whole situation is definitely not good for his heart.

"How long has it been?" Sakura asks.

"…Half an hour?"

"Please let me in…"

"No!"

"I won't touch you. You can keep your clothes on."

Sasuke briefly ponders which is the worst thing between letting Sakura see him in this state and dying from a heart attack with a steel rod erection in his pants. His nose tickles and when he rubs it with the back of his hand, he realizes he is bleeding.

Sakura waits, still pressed against the door, hoping for a reply. She hears the lock turn and the door opens slightly. She pushes it open to look inside. Sasuke leans against the counter in front of the sink. His hair is in front of his face but he looks so uncomfortable that her heart tightens. He is bright red, sweaty, and his nose and chin are stained with blood. She hands him a tissue with a sorry look.

"Press on your nose."

She glances down and cannot help a brief second of surprise. Sasuke is wearing the gray sweatpants he usually wears at home, and the bulge over his groin is quite a bit larger than she expected. Even considering the enhancing effects of the meds, the swell of the fabric is impressive enough to make her lose her train of thought. She knew what was happening to him but now that she's in front of it she struggles to focus on her task. It looks so… heavy. She has to gather all her determination to put on her most professional face and keep going. He slightly flinches when she comes closer to him. He looks both extremely embarrassed and in pain.

"I won't touch you," she repeats slowly to reassure him.

Sasuke watches Sakura kneel in front of his legs, her face just in front of his problem, and look up at him. He turns his head and looks away. There is no way his erection is going to go down with such a view of her, her green eyes, her pink cheeks, and her slightly parted lips just inches away from his throbbing length. In the corner of his vision he sees her put her hands up, and he closes his eyes and clenches his teeth, praying for it all to be over quickly.

He feels the familiar warmth of her chakra over his hips and his abs tense up. He tries his hardest to think about other, absolutely not arousing things, but nothing else comes but Sakura. His whole body is a confused mix of pain and interest. He focuses on the pattern on her bath towels as hard as he can. After just a minute the pressure relents. Soon the strain between his thighs vanishes and he lets out a shaky breath of relief.

"Better?" she asks when she moves her hands away. She stands up and goes to her work bag again, and he lets himself slide down to sit on the floor. He feels drained. It's like his whole body deflated. He lets her check his blood pressure without a word. He thinks she's done but she brings her hands to his face and uses her green chakra on his nose when she sees that it has not stopped bleeding yet. She comes close again and she gently wipes the blood that has run down his chin. He should be doing this himself, why is he letting her do it?

"Are you ok?" she asks, when he doesn't say a word and remains limp and motionless. Now that he has cooled down he is exhausted, like after intense physical effort. He nods weakly, still avoiding her gaze. "Thank you."

"Does your arm still hurt?"

"It's fine."

"You should rest. I'll write your name on the right meds."

He looks up when she walks out the door. She half smiles and nods toward his pants.

"Give it a few hours before you use it again."

The next day he finds a box of pills on the kitchen table, with his name written on the label. Sakura doesn't mention the incident in the following days. She doesn't even say anything about him going through her work bag and taking the wrong pills. She acts like nothing ever happened. He is very grateful.

Sasuke eventually graduates to C-rank missions after rushing through seventeen D-rank missions in a single day and making complaints arise at the Hokage's office as several genin teams find themselves jobless for a week. The new missions make him leave the village for escorts and deliveries, and as much as he appreciates being back in Konoha, it feels good to travel again and free his mind from office work.

One of the deliveries is planned to take him three days out of the village. The trip is peaceful and it gives him an occasion to summon Aoda and tell him about his return to Konoha. He used to talk to Aoda a lot during his travels, when the road got lonely in remote countries and he had not talked to anyone for several weeks. Aoda likes to talk about his snake family and Sasuke likes to listen. There is something calming about his giant presence and the low rhythm of his voice.

"You smell different, Master Sasuke," Aoda hisses quietly when Sasuke climbs on his head.

"I live in Sakura's apartment." He probably smells like her pink hand soap and the dried herbs she keeps in her kitchen.

"Did you settle there for mating season?" Aoda asks.

Sasuke winces. "No, I just needed a place to sleep."

"The hibernation season is already over."

"I don't hibernate, I just stay there at night."

"Are you going to stay during the whole mating season?"

Sasuke sighs. He is used to Aoda's non-human habits and has given up on correcting him. He explains the mission to change the subject.

Thanks to Aoda he travels much faster than if he were on foot, and he is back in Konoha a day earlier than planned on the mission scroll. When the night comes he is glad to be able to rest at home on his futon, and he is already half asleep when he hears people in the hallway. He wonders if the neighbors are coming home late. Keys turn in the lock and the front door of Sakura's apartment opens. He expects to hear her, but the footsteps are unusually messy, louder than they should be at night, and the rustle of clothes is not familiar. He listens curiously. Low whispers that he cannot understand come through his door. A strange exclamation. A giggle. And then, after a silence, a soft… moan.

Suddenly, he understands. It dawns on him like icy water. Sakura is not alone. She brought a date home. His heart sinks. He hears more muffled noises. The whispers and footsteps make their way to her bedroom. He hears the door slide open and back closed. He prays for the noises to stop there, but the otherwise silent night doesn't spare him any detail. He hears what sounds like a shoe falling on the floor and then the soft creaking of the bed deepening under their weight.

His brain is rushing. Sakura is an adult, a young, good-looking, independent woman, and it's only natural that she has a healthy social life. He should have expected it. She can't change her habits just because he is around. She probably thinks he is still out of the village, he had told her he would be away.

He hears Sakura's bed creak again. The sound makes him cringe. The moan he just heard is still vivid in his brain. He hears the man through the walls. The noises make him imagine this man touching Sakura inappropriately, and his chest swells with dread. He pictures her in only her underwear. The stranger's hands on her. He shivers with revulsion.

Only a few more seconds of breaths and moans suffice to make him sit up on his futon and grab his T-shirt. A soft, feminine whine of pleasure comes through the wall again and he doesn't even know what he is feeling anymore. His stomach is tight. He shouldn't be so agitated. He has no reason to be. The man grunts Sakura's name and Sasuke feels like gagging. He grabs his cloak and runs out of the apartment.

Even outside on the street, in the fresh air of the night, he is boiling. He is so upset his eye is bright red despite himself. He walks fast, to put as much distance between him and them as quickly as possible. His breathing is short. He tries to compose himself, the situation is nothing unusual, there is no danger, no one is doing anything wrong, and yet his throat is tight with disgust and his chest is burning.

Sakura hears the front door open and close while Toshi is kissing her breasts. She freezes inside and her brain disconnects from what she was doing. She had not realized that Sasuke was home. She thought he would only be back the next day. What did he hear? Any physical desire she had when coming home is gone in an instant. She thought she had no reason to stop seeing Toshi after Sasuke came back since Sasuke had made it clear for several years that he wasn't interested in a romantic relationship with her, but now that she actually faces the situation, she feels horrible about it. She remains paralyzed for several seconds after hearing the front door slam shut.

Toshi doesn't seem to notice her internal conflict and settles between her legs. She feels him press against her and she squirms out of his arms. He frowns. "What's wrong?"

"Sorry," she says as she moves away from him.

He crawls to settle over her again and she moves back against her pillows. She folds her legs up under her chin. Embarrassment and shame spread in her body at the thought of what Sasuke might have heard. She wants to hide. What does he think of her now?

"What?" Toshi asks again when he sees that Sakura's mind is elsewhere.

"I… I'm not into it tonight."

"What? We were just starting!"

"Yeah, sorry."

"I mean… You could be a bit nicer, I paid for your drink and all…"

Sakura feels even worse. "Are you serious?"

Toshi rolls his eyes and zips his pants back up. "Don't be like that…" He sighs. "You've been weird lately, that's all."

She gets up from the bed and picks up the sweater that she had taken off. She turns away from him to put it back on.

"Sakura, my spring rosebud, please…"

"You should leave," she says dryly. "I'm tired."

"My pink camelia…"

"Stop calling me that."

"Come on…"

She pulls up a pair of sweatpants and turns to face him. "You should go home."

She watches him pick up his things and walk out of the bedroom. Slowly, she curls up on her bed as she listens to the front door open and close, again.