She feels guilty for unleashing this on him. It wasn't her intention. Honestly, and she's so, so grateful to him. She is. But no matter how hard he tries to shoulder all that weight for her, he can't. And she doesn't want him to. She is the only one who can bear it.

The only one who should.

She can share a little here and there but ultimately the load is her own.

And that's not something that he,

that anyone can understand, not really.

Carla sighed, the day was painfully dragging along, though she was dreading going home and facing Nick. She knew he wasn't going to let things stay as they were, he would undoubtedly want to talk,

And she wasn't ready

Carla put her head in her hands, she didn't know what she was doing anymore. She knew she was going to end up pushing Nick too far and he would walk,

no run,

As far as could away from her and her problems

Sighing she pushed her chair away from her desk, grabbing her bag and telling Aiden she was going home. She needed to clear her head

"Carla? " Michelle noticed her friend emerging from underworld, hardly recognising the woman standing in front of her

"Oh, Hi 'Chelle" Carla smiled nervously

"Are you ok? " Michelle could hardly keep her voice from cracking. Carla looked awful, and she had seen her at her worst, or so she thought

"Never better" Carla laughed bitterly. Michelle grabbed her softly by the arm, nodding her head towards the Rovers "I'm not taking no as an answer"

Carla rolled her eyes as she allowed her best friend to drag her along

"Is it cold in here?" Carla muttered as she sat at the table in the back room of the pub. The hard chair instantly uncomfortable

"No." Michelle looked up with a poorly concealed frown; Carla was still wrapped in her coat

"It's freezing," She replied and pulled her coat tighter around herself

"Maybe if you weren't a bag a bones... " Michelle muttered under breath as she entered the kitchen, returning with a bottle of red and two glasses, placing them on the table

"I'm... " Carla started to talk before Michelle cut her off

"One glass won't kill you" She rolled her eyes, pouring them both a glass

"Now, talk" Michelle ordered

Nothing tasted good anymore. Every bite seemed to grow in his mouth and made him nauseous. He never realised that he would feel guilty every time he enjoyed a meal and that he'd end up loathing the human need for food. Slamming his fork down he pushed away the plate in front of him across the table.

Nick placed his head in his hands, pulling at his hair in frustration. Standing up he threw away the food with a grimace; he couldn't continue like this, he had to stop. It didn't help anyone if he wasn't eating properly either

He never imagined that food would become such a huge problem in his life

He was torn from his thoughts by his phone alerting him to a text message, grabbing it quickly, just encase it was Carla

Michelle

Nick frowned as he opened the message

Can you come over, it's about Carla

His heart was in his throat as he grabbed his keys and pulled the door to his apartment open, letting it slam shut behind him

"Michelle, what's wrong? " Nick managed to choke put as she lead him through to the back, only for him to find his girlfriend fast asleep on the sofa

"Is she..? " Nick muttered

"Drunk? Yes" Michelle sighed as she rubbed her forehead

"But she hasn't been drinking recently " Nick replied in confusion, walking over to Carla and pushing a strand of hair from her face

"I thought she would be OK, just a quick drink and a chat" Michelle looked down at her feet, blaming herself "What's happening to her Nick? " Tears filling her eyes. Nick placed a hand on her shoulder, pulling her in for a hug

"I don't know" He admitted "She's out on control"

"She's so thin" Tears now freely falling down Michelle soft cheeks

"I caught her being sick this morning " Nick blurted out, feeling like a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulder at his admission. Michelle froze, shaking her head

"You mean...on purpose? Like... Like... An eating disorder? " Michelle stepped away, staring down at her best friend. How had she not noticed, it was like Steve all over again. Why was she so blind to not notice those she loved silently suffering

Eating disorder

Nicks mind was spinning, he had already admitted it to himself, but hearing the words come from the mouth of another person hit him straight in the stomach

He was out of his depth

"What are we going to do? Michelle broke the silence

Nick shrugged, but said nothing. Well, the question was mostly rhetorical. If there were any easy solutions, this problem wouldn't exist.

"Nick? " Both heads snapped round at the sound of Carla's voice. Carla tried to push herself up, Nick rushing over to help her, placing an arm under hers, supporting her as she sat up

"Come on, let's get you home" He sighed. Carla resting her head against his shoulder, allowing Nick to pull her up to a standing position

"I'm going to carry you, ok? Nick reassured Carla before lifting her into his arms

"I'll help you" Michelle offered, rushing towards the door

"Phone me tomorrow? " She asked. Stroking Carla's face. Nick nodding as Michelle held the car door open, allowing Nick to secure Carla in the back seat, watching as the only man who could save her best friend drove away

Nick somehow managed to lead a very drunk Carla back up to her flat, and as soon as he got her through the door once again lifted her into his arms, carrying her towards her bedroom and placing her on the bed

"What am I going to do? Nick sighed, stroking her hair

" M'sorry" Carla muttered

"No, don't say sorry. You have nothing to be sorry about " Nicks heart breaking

"Told you, I'm no good "

"If only you could see how much good you have in you, then maybe we wouldn't be in this state" Nick sighed

"Feel sick" She replied, groaning as she placed a hand on her stomach

"Shall I take you to the bathroom? " Nick stood quickly, once again supporting Carla as she stood up, rushing towards the bathroom Nick following closely behind, stopping at the bathroom door as he once again had to listen to his girlfriend throwing up.

With a deep sigh, Nick sat down on the floor and pulled Carla into his arms. Her head fell down on Nicks chest and to his surprise, Carla began to cry. A desperate and inconsolable cry

"I'm here" he whispered, "I'm here, You're not alone. I've got you. It's okay" He repeated, over and over again. Hoping that Carla would take in his words. Nick lost concept of time and couldn't possible say how long they sat there, but when Carla's crying past in to trembling sobs, every part of Nick's body hurt

"Carla"

Mm?"

"We should try to get up." He whispered, Carla nodded and pushed away from Nick, obviously being just as stiff after sitting on the floor. Leaning against the sink for support

"Have you eaten since this morning... " Nick muttered. Carla shaking her head. Nick sighed , it was a problem that could wait for tomorrow. He led Carla into the bedroom, passing her one of his t-shirts before leaving the bedroom, returning with a glass of water and two paracetamol. He watched as she removed her own top, only now truly seeing the damage she was inflicting upon herself, the way her collarbone jutted out, like it was attempting to break through her skin. And her ribs...

He could count her ribs

He closed his eyes as she undressed further, unable to take any more. He felt a pair of an arms snake around his waist, his only response was to carefully put his arm around Carla and hug her lightly. It took a moment for him to realise that Carla was comforting him all of a sudden. That was just…wrong, it was supposed to be the other way around, but he did nothing to stop it because he needed it

"You should try and get some sleep" He suggested, Carla nodded; Nick took a deep breath, trying, unsuccessfully, to let everything go

"Lay with me? " Carla whispered.

After half an hour in darkness and silence Nick felt Carla's breathing pattern change, Nick was grateful Carla felt safe enough in his arms to sleep.

Nick spent an hour counting Carla's heartbeats before gently removed her from his arms and made his way out the bedroom, leaving the door slightly open so he could listen in on her

He pulled the laptop out and sat on the sofa, opening up the search bar and typing in:

Eating disorders

It was going to be a long night