Thank you so much for all the reviews, every single one brings a smile to my face. Here's another chapter for you all. Enjoy :)
Carla sat up, slowly, allowing her head to catch up with her body, the spinning slowly decreasing. The early morning sun shining through a gap in the door illuminating the bedroom, casting small shadows upon the wall.
Memories of the previous day slowly flood her mind. She had completely messed up. Nick had started to piece together the fragments of her messed up life, and now he would try and fix her, try and stop her from destroying herself.
But it's not like she can stop.
Food tastes like dust and her throat closes up. She had only wanted some sort of normality in her life, some sort of control, and before she knew it, she had lost more than ten pounds in less than a month.
Feeling uneasy Carla swung her legs out of her bed, she realises she's wearing Nicks top, frowning as she doesn't remember getting undressed last night. She creeps quietly into the hallway, searching for Nick, hoping that he hasn't decided he's seen enough and left her for good. She visibly relaxes as she finds him fast asleep on her sofa, slumped over with the laptop resting on him. She quietly tiptoes into the kitchen, making herself and her sleeping boyfriend some well needed coffee.
"Nick" she whispers, gently shaking his shoulder. She can't bear to see what she's doing to him as his eyes flicker open, pain and anguish filling them as he stares into her own eyes. She holds out the coffee, as a way of apology
"Thanks" his voice is quiet and croaky, tiredness evident in his voice. He places a hand on his neck, rubbing it gently.
"You didn't come to bed" Carla mutters, looking anywhere but at Nick
"I had some things to do, lost track of time, must of fell asleep " he shrugs. He couldn't bear to tell her that he couldn't face sleeping next to her that night, images of her frail body filling his mind
"What's with the laptop? " Carla asked as she picked it up as she sat down next to Nick. Gently running her fingers over the edge, daring herself to open it up
"Don't" Nick pleaded "Can we talk first? " he reached over, placing a hand over hers, their fingers entwined instantly. Both relishing the contact
"I... I don't think I can" She whispered. Nick moved across the sofa, pulling her into arms, Carla's body instantly relaxed as their breathing synchronised and Nick rested his lips on her neck in a never-ending kiss, breathing into her neck; the smell of her perfume mixed with alcohol and vomit made him sad
"Why won't you let me help you? " Nick whispered, placing am actual kiss on her neck. This time he got no response whatsoever so he squeezed her hand instead, earning him a light squeeze back, good.
"I know you think you're no good for me, but I promise you, you are the best thing that's ever happened. For the first time since the crash... Since the brain damage, you're the only one who has made me feel... Normal." Nick sighed
"Even with Erica, the... Baby, you've been there. You put me back together. You've seen the demons in my head and you helped chase them away. You may not realise it but you've saved me, please let me try to do the same." Silence fell and Nick focused to get his breathing down to the same rhythm as Carla's again, Before he managed to do so, Carla stood up, distancing herself from the situation
"Nick?" Carla's whisper rang loud as a scream and Nick looked up, startled. "I'm sorry."
Nick reached out for her hand again and squeezed it lightly; if he'd had a response to that it got stuck in his throat. Carla squeezed back hard and Nicks thumb started to move in small circles on top of hers
"I trust you with my life" Nick said and their eyes met again. "Can I trust you with your own?" Carla nodded and Nick's will to trust her was stronger than his good sense.
"Then I'll do that," He promised, receiving a small, sad smile from Carla.
"Can you manage some breakfast? " He hates himself for having to say it. He hates himself for provoking the look that flits across her face
"Just some toast and scrambled egg, I promise, nothing more" Nick can see that Carla is scared. He's scaring himself with the irrationality of the whole thing. Carla mods, her shoulders sag in defeat.
Eat up then,' Nick swallows and looks at Carla expectantly.
She takes a tentative bite. Nick is watching, trying not to show it. Carla chews. She chews and chews and chews. The food is still in her mouth.
'Swallow,' Nick says quietly. 'Come on, you can do it.'
Carla manages it. She then realises she has chewed and swallowed without once tasting what she was eating. Although she knows it's not physically possible, she can practically feel the food travelling down in her stomach.
She hates it. It's hateful, but what's more hateful is the fact that she hates it in the first place.
Nick watches Carla clear her plate. He is torn. On the one hand, Carla has just eaten breakfast for the first time in days. On the other hand, her face during the ordeal speaks volumes. Horror, revulsion, conflict, self-loathing, nothing Nick saw there can be construed as good. And the worst thing of all? He has no idea what to do about it.
"How do you feel? "
"Sick... empty "Carla admitted
A lump formed in Nick's throat, had he forced her to eat when he wasn't ready? Did he make everything worse? Was there really nothing he could do right? Situations where there were many things you could do wrong, but hardly anything you could do right was terrible
"Nick... We'll get through this, won't we? "
"Whatever we face, we face together" Nick promised "I'll always be here to pick you up when you fall"
He doesn't know what comes next but he does know one thing. He knows what the forfeit is, it's Carla's health and quite possibly her life, and he's not prepared to gamble with that