Firstly , I'm so sorry it's been so long since the last update, work and life has been ridiculously crazy.
Secondly, thank you for all the lovely reviews, each one brightens my day :)
Nick watches Carla's determined progress over the next few days with horrified fascination. She eats whatever he puts in front of her, although almost every mouthful is torture. She is clearly at war with herself.
It is clear that the absolute last thing that she wants to do is eat
"Don't look at me when I eat, it's making me uncomfortable." Carla frowned and put down her fork. "Not to mention it's rude."
"Can you blame me?" Nick asked, the question coming out a bit harsher than he had intended.
"I thought you were supposed to trust me."
"I do " he sighed "But I'm trying here, I'm trying to trust you. I'm trying to believe you. trying to ignore everything and it's killing me to see you kill yourself!"
Carla froze, her eyes wide
"That's what you're doing, isn't it?" Nick's voice was completely flat. "You're slowly committing suicide."
"That's a low blow " Carla snapped "You know the reasons why i did what I did" Carla got up without another word and left the lounge.
"Where are you going? Nick sighed, following Carla towards the bedroom
"Leave me alone Nick" For the first time she raised her voice and it startled Nick a bit "Everything was fine before you started all of this pestering. I never asked for your help"
"So this is my fault? "
"It might as well be!"
"You can't be serious!"
"YOU'RE TAKING MY CONTROL!" Carla bellowed.
Nick blinked.
What now? Before he had managed to gather his thoughts Carla slammed the bedroom door in his face.
"Damn it, Carla! You can't blame me for this!" Nick yelled and hit the door in frustration, but got no answer. At least it wasn't the bathroom Carla had locked herself in.
When he managed to calm his breathing he stopped staring down the door and instead sat down on the floor, leaning his head against the wall with closed eyes. He had hidden behind the excuse that he ought to trust Carla and not wanting to risk their relationship with a confrontation. Choosing their relationship over Carla's health and life, how could he do that?
"Do you hate me? " Carla asked through the door, barely louder than a whisper
"No, but I'm really starting to hate myself" Nick admitted as Carla opened the door, looking down at a tired and defeated Nick. She down on the floor in front of him and reached out her arms as an invitation to a hug. Nick gratefully wrapped his arms around her. As soon as Carla's arms embraced him, Nick broke down crying into the bend of her neck
This was just completely backwards.
Do you really blame me?" Nick asked hesitantly, dreading the answer. Carla met his eyes again and a part of Nick died in that very moment, realising that Carla did blame him.
"No more than you blame me," Carla answered in a low, quiet voice.
"I try to eat because I don't want you to worry, but it makes it worse. I eat when I don't want to and it... " She sighs
"Why didn't you tell me?" Nick breathed when Carla's voice seemed to die out
"So we could argue about it? " She laughed, shaking her head
"I just.. I don't know how to help you"
"You can't, it's my mess, I'll fix it" Carla squeezed Nick tighter
"Talk to a doctor, I'll take you, I'll do whatever you need" Nick pleaded.
"Nick, leave it" she snaps, pulling away from him
"Stop pushing me away" Nick snaps back, pressure building in his chest, threatening to release in an anger fuelled rage
"I need to get out of here " he almost shouts as he stands.
Carla's heart dropped. Mouth opened slightly before looking to the floor
"I'll be back later " He whispers, unable to look at the rejection and hurt plastered on her face.
Carla waited until she heard the click of the front door before bolting for the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her and lifting the lid of the toilet, a sob from the bottom of her stomach escaped her as she falls to her knees