Just a really quick chapter to try and get this story going again. I had to abandon it for a while due to life issues. My mum passed away so everything went a bit wrong
Oh, you loved me 'cause I'm fragile
When I thought that I was strong
But you touch me for a little while
And all my fragile strength is gone
Nick watched the door shut and Carla immediately crumpling on the sofa
"What have you done " She whispered
"What you should have done last night. You didn't see the way she was in the bar, carrying on without a care in the world whilst you… " Nick trailed off
"It was my mess to fix"
"You could have died last night, because of her!"
"Yeah, and now the whole Street knows, because you couldn't help yourself " her face a mix of anger and shame
"There's just no way to please you is there? He yelled back, just as angry. He fucked up. Why did he always fuck up? Anger at himself burned through him as teared at the stack of folders currently sat neatly on the table so the paper flew about as if it were leaves falling from the trees. Grabbing an empty cup he launched it at the wall in frustration, smashing it into pieces.
He stood in the middle of the room surrounded by the wreckage of his outburst, heaving in lungs of air as it dawned on him what had just happened. He hadn't lost control over his anger like this for a long time.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he mumbled, not even realising he was saying it out loud, it wasn't until he felt a pair of small arms snake around his torso that he came back to reality, sighing he tightly wrapped his own arms around Carla, breathing in the scent of her, instantly calming him.
"No, I'm the one who's sorry, It wasn't your fault"
"It doesn't excuse what just happened, the anger… it hasn't been like that for months" Nick admitted
"It's OK to get angry. I'm surprised you kept it together this long, I've given you enough reason" Carla laughed gently into his chest as she pulled away to look up at him.
Nick flinched and froze. Red raw eyes that gazed up at him, the tear tracks running down Carla's face into the the small cut on her cheek that oozed blood as surely as her eyes leaked tears. His heart clenched painfully in his chest. He had done this
"Nick?"
"Your…your cheek" he muttered while hiding his face in his hands, a strangled sob escaping his lips
Carla instinctively bought her hand to face, tiny drops of blood smeared across her fingertips. She reached out for his arm, slightly slightly squeezing in a vain attempt o help him calm down. "Just relax, you're fine. Its fine"
"No. Its not, I can't lose control like this around you" He sighed. Carla ran her fingers through his hair over and over again, something that always helped him relax
"Your hands are freezing," he told her, as she wiped a stray tear from his face.
"Let's just keep a level head, and keep moving forward. Yeah, this is going be hard, on both of us, but we'll figure it out, okay?" Carla's eyes flicking from his eyes to his lips.
"Let me clean that cut" Nick stood straight, his breathing had returned to normal, but the air still felt like they were on edge
"Everyone knows that I tried to kill myself " Carla whispered as Nick gently wiped at her cut, making her wince "I bet they're all talking about it now. Having a right laugh"
"Carla…"
"Tracy was right. Its going to be Frank all over again "
"No. They'll see through her lies, with her reputation "
"And what about my reputation?" She scoffed "Not exactly like I'm little miss innocent is it "
"They were wrong about Frank" Nick spat "He knew how to manipulate everyone"
"Even you" She whispered
"I apologised for that last night. And it will always be my biggest regret. Don't make me feel any worse than I already do"
"M'sorry"
"We're going round in circles" Nick sighed. Rubbing his forehead "Have you eaten today? He didn't know why he bothered asking, he knew the answer as soon as he saw the expression on her face
"Are you going to? " another question he need not ask. Sighing as he opens the fridge. Empty as usual. Slamming it shut.
"So is this what it's going to be like? We argue and you lose your temper?" Carla snapped
"That's a low blow " Nick hissed "And we wouldn't be arguing if you would just be…"
"Be what?" normal?"
"The Carla I fell in love with. I hate seeing you do this to yourself . I have to watch you waste away. I know you've been going to the gym more. I bet you think you're making yourself better this way, don't you? I have news for you: you're not"
"Oh and you know what's best for me?" She snapped
"Anything but this" He's too angry to care. "Watching someone starve themselves is the hardest thing I've ever had to do" Nick shouts. He stops himself and takes deep breaths, he can't lose his temper again today
"How about you leave me alone?" There's bite in her words, but it's weak. Desperate and pleading
"Fine" Nick snapped. Grabbing his jacket and reaching for the door "Im going to get lunch, before this becomes a problem for us both" Nick stops as he holds the door handle, taking a steadying breath. "I don't know how to help you yet, but I'm not going to stop trying." He unlocks the door, leaving reluctantly.