The look of disgust on Nicks face after witnessing her body wouldn't leave Carla's mind. She knew he hadn't meant anything malicious by it. But that didn't stop her scrutinising herself in the mirror of her wardrobe, or how many calories she had consumed over the past few weeks. She wanted to weigh herself but Nick had hidden the only pair in the flat. She could go see Michelle again and use hers but she couldn't risk being found out and have her worrying or commenting. Instead she frantically searched the bedroom.
Once she gave up on the scale hunting she sat on the floor next to the bed and thought about what she had to eat. That was something she did far too much. It was apart of the whole ritual of it.
"Carla" Nick hesitantly put his head round the door and took the sight before him, clothes and boxes upturned from under the bed
"Lost something?"
Carla looked up at Nick standing in the doorway. She realized she probably should have closed the door. "It's nothing."
"Do you need me to leave you alone? Or…"
"No." Carla sat up straighter and her back cracked. She must have been sitting there for a bit. "Its fine. I was just going through some old clothes" she lied
"Right..." Nick trailed off
"We need to talk" he sighed as he walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, facing away from Carla on the floor, he could see her small silhouette framed in the mirror. He noticed how Carla pulled her legs up towards herself, somehow making herself even smaller
"How long have you been taking them?"
"What..."
"I saw Gary. Don't even try and deny it"
Nick felt a strange jolt of satisfaction when Carla stared at him in shock. "Yes, I know about the diet pills. The ones you got from my niece!" Nick tried to keep calm, though he could feel his whole body shaking. Carla looked more than a little busted
"I cancelled your gym membership too" He snorted.
"You did what?" Carla hissed "You were supposed to trust me."
Nick snorted. "Well, it's established that I have trust issues. Not to mention the fact that you're not honouring your part of our deal, so I think I'm in the clear."
"I'm not stupid. Or blind for that matter. You think I haven't noticed the weight loss? "
"So you cancel my membership behind my back?" She scoffed
"You have no right to be offended by that"
"Oh, really?" Carla laughed bitterly
"if I keep track of your eating and bathroom habits because I care about you then no you have no right to be offended by it!" I'm trying to believe you! I'm trying to ignore everything and it's killing me to see you kill yourself!"
Carla blinked and something, a rapid blinking, an irregularity in her breathing, Nick had no idea what made him cold from the inside out, putting his anger and frustration on hold for a while. His head spinning.
"How many have you taken? How long?" Suddenly concern filled him with what damage Carla may have done to her body by taking the pills
"I don't know" she mumbles. She's honest. She has no idea how many of the pills she has consumed. She just needed results
"Don't you get it?" Nick tells her . "You don't need to be taking those pills. Any of them" Nick pulls himself onto the floor and takes her hand with a despairing shake of his head
"I won't take anymore " She mumbles
"For how long? Two more weeks? A day? 'til the end of 2017?" Nick asked, the anger growing stronger again to cover up the disappointment
"I said I'd stop didn't I?" Carla snapped
"Give them to me then" Nick challenged her. Knowing she wouldn't willingly give them away
"Why can't you just trust me?"
"Why do you need them if you're not going to take anymore?" Nick asked getting frustrated with her "I will find them" he says, sounding more like a threat. By this point Nick had almost given up hope completely, the concern he felt was becoming nearly unbearable as he contemplated tearing the flat apart even more than Carla already had
"I need a drink" Carla pulled herself up and breathed out a breath of air, releasing the tension from her shoulders
"This isnt finished Carla" Nick warned as he watched her leave the bedroom before getting up himself and putting away the clothes Carla had left all over the bed, he also took the opportunity to search for the pills
Nick looked at his phone. Had five minutes really passed? Carla hadn't made a noise and Nick wondered if she was even in the flat anymore
He walked out into the hallway, the light streaming from under the bathroom door contrasting with the darkness of its surroundings, Nick wasn't sure whether he was relieved or scared to discover that Carla was closed inside the bathroom
Half a dozen soft footsteps later, Nick found himself staring straight at the door, hand wrapped around the knob. "Carla. Are you still in there?"
He pressed his ear to the door, listening for anything, but he could hear nothing
"I'm coming in whether you like it out not Carla. I'm not letting you do this anymore "
Carla, who'd just been about to take another couple of pills when Nick called, drops them. She makes a snuffling noise, bends and inadvertently makes the container go flying off where she'd balanced it on the edge of the sink. It hits the floor with a tinkling crash and a load of the circular pills tumble out onto the floor. Cursing she goes on her hands and knees and tries to gather them all up.
She takes another one in her mouth as she goes, chewing and pulling a bit of a face at the acidic taste. She retches for one singular moment, before carrying on clustering the fallen pills together again.
Nick becomes even more anxious by the types of noise that he can hear from the bathroom as he throws his body weight at the door
"Go away!" She cries hoarsely
Nick hurls himself against the door a couple more times, before it finally gives way and opens.
Carla abandons the pills and whirls around, her face is pale and tears that she hadn't even realized she'd been shedding streaked across her thin cheeks as she pushes herself back against the edge of the bath
"What are you-?" But then his eyes dip down to the pills on the floor
Carla feels like she's being stabbed repeatedly in the chest as Nick approaches, she wants to lunge forwards and snatch the container up, before he can reach it, but she doesn't seem able to move.
"How many?" Nick grabs Carla by the arms urgently, panting from exhaustion
"M'sorry" Carla sobbed "You're hurting me" She whimpers
Nick instantly let's his vice like grip go and pulls her into a hug. Running a hand through her hair as he holds her as she breaks down in his arms
"Let me take you to hospital "Carla violently shakes her head
"Please," Nick begs, "I don't know what I'd do without you."
Carla's eyes widen. She had realized that Nick cared, that he loved her, but it's only now that she's beginning to understand just how deep those feelings really run. He stares into your pleading eyes and jerks his head forwards and rests his head on yours
"Ok " She whispers. She doesn't want to cause him anymore pain