A/N: I'm back! And now for Loo-Loo Land: Part 2!
That being read, I welcome your Reviews. If you have criticisms, I welcome those too. Please keep them constructive. I want to grow as an author, and I can't do that if people aren't willing to critique, or only want to tear me down. I'm not here to please everybody, but I am here to learn. There is a method to my madness, even if I don't always fully understand it. 90% of what I write, I don't write baselessly. If there is something not canon or changed from canon, there is generally a reason. If something doesn't make sense, feel free to let me know (constructively), and as long as it doesn't creep into SPOILER! territory, I'll do my best to explain it.
WARNING: This is rated M for a reason. In keeping with the spirit of Helluva Boss, there will be copious amounts of Murder, Brutal Violence, Senseless Violence, Child Violence, Gender-Equal Violence, Accidental Violence, Robot Violence, Drugs, Hard Drugs, Soft Drugs, Prescription Drugs, All-Natural Drugs, "All Natural" Drugs, Alcohol, Blood, Gore, Visceral, Dissection, the occasional slow-crunch of Bones, and Cannibals contributing to said "slow-crunch", Physical Abuse, Mental Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Language, Offensive Language, non-Politically Correct Language, possibly butchered attempts at Foreign Language, Horny Demons, Hornier Humans, even Hornier Furries, and any number of things the average law-abiding citizen might consider "distasteful", but that I find hilarious because laughter is easier than being angry at people or the world all the time.
May also include some point-blank wholesomeness. No reason to warn about this, except that some of you might find it offensive because you have nothing good in your life, and therefore have to ruin everything good for everyone else. If you feel offended for me calling you out, then you know who you are.
This story is not for people who are easily offended, are offended on other people's behalf when they really don't give a shit, squeamish around violence, think sex is naughty, or think jokes are like dicks and take them way too hard. You know the drill (haha! I just got that!)
If you don't like it, DON'T READ IT!
This is for Adults, or for any of you below the age of 18 who are so desensitized to this stuff because your parents never cared about your mental sanctity (Wow! Already getting in the spirit of things and insulting people! Noice!). All the same, Reader Discretion is Advised. (God I love this pre-story warning!)
But! Because this is my first "real" attempt at such mature content, don't expect me to dive head-first into 'X-rated' stuff. Or even dabble. No dabbling. That's not the vibe I got from Helluva Boss. That, and my mother would burn me at the stake if I did. Love you Mom!
Review Responses:
- "Guest" 1: Updated!
- Boss Teal: Crap! Wrong section! It's in the Warning section located above the Review Response, not in the Disclaimer. My bad.
- Cat-Gods-Of-The-Cat-People: Set It Off is a pretty good band. Love a lot of their music. I don't know about using any of their songs, but if I do, it'll show up. It's a possibility, just not really a big one right now.
- "Guest" 2: I'm assuming that's "Your Song Saved My Life" by U2? I did give it a couple listens to see if it clicked, and honestly, I'm not feeling it. Thank you for the suggestion though.
- Lover of a Good Story: Had to look him up, and I kinda get it. Honestly, I imagined Snow's human disguise as more of a cross between Dante (Devil May Cry) and Shirou (BNA). Just cheerier and more than willing to make a dirty sex joke. I pretty sure there was another guy mixed in there somewhere, but I forgot who it was, because I forgot to write it down.
*End of Responses
Disclaimer: I don't own Helluva Boss, Hazbin Hotel, or any of its subsidiaries. Those rights belong exclusively to Vivziepop, and anyone else who had a hand in it's creation. I just get to enjoy it for all it's worth.
I would also like to point out that I don't own any other media or content that may be mentioned as further enrichment to the story.
I do however, own all Original Characters and Scenarios, so... MINE!
Without further ado. *Que the dimming of the lights*
Chapter 6: Abusement Park
Blitz slammed his door closed as he hoped out of the van, followed more gently by the rest of the cast as they finally made it to the mostly empty parking lot of Loo-Loo Land. He stomped around the front, glaring at the riders of the motorcycle next to him. Snow just leaned back lazily against Stryx, while Moxxie was doing his best to look nonchalant, despite the greenish hue to his skin. Now that they were stopped, the smaller imp was gently sipping water with citrus to help settle his stomach.
Considering how much Snow had been riding circles around the van on the freeway rather than just driving straight to Loo-Loo Land, it was to be expected.
"You have fun Nostril Party?!" Blitz growled out. "It would have been better if you had kept your fucking donkey of a vehicle quiet the whole fucking drive."
Snow looked somewhat (read: very) affronted. "Better than your dirty slut of a van, so bitch, shut your whore mouth." The bike revved in agreement… despite the fact no one was handling the accelerator. And it was turned off if anyone bothered to pay attention.
"Quiet wouldn't have mattered with your sugar-daddy giggling like a pervert the whole way," Loona commented as she stepped out, nose in her phone.
"Suffice to say, yes. I did have fun," Snow answered, shaking his head of Loona's words while giving Blitz a shimmering fanged grin, which only caused Blitz to clench his teeth angrily.
"Hey baby." Millie hoped out and cozied up to her husband. Almost instantly, he seemed to be doing better. "Did it go okay?"
"Just a little nauseous, Honey," he admitted with a small, loving smile. "But it was… fun."
"Oh!" she squealed excitedly, rubbing foreheads with her hubby.
"Alright! Enough of this shit!" Blitz bit out, turning to his assassins. "Mils. Mox. I want you two geared up. Without sucking face! Pop Rocks, you carry anything other than that metal stick of yours?"
Snow quirked an unimpressed eye at his boss. "That 'stick', as you call it, could cleave you in half without any risk of dulling the blade."
"Even if I was in armor," Blitz tempted.
"Like a hot knife through your gizzard."
"Mm, kinky," Blitz commented, not noticing the twitch in his employee's brow. He shivered though as a single claw trailed lazily down his spine.
"You are so cute when you're… domineering," Stolas hummed, causing Blitz's sphincter to clench unbidden.
"Daaa-aad!" Octavia groaned, pulling her beanie over her face.
Blitz slapped away the offending hand. "Anyway, Loona, I want you carrying the biggest gun you can."
"So you want me to grab Snow's dick again?" the hellhound asked nonchalantly.
Blitz suddenly choked on air. Stolas stumbled before whipping around in surprise. Octavia looked like someone had taken a shotgun to a puppy. Moxxie's jaw hit the pavement. Millie just hummed conspiringly.
And Snow? Snow squeaked as his paler features began to burn succubus pink.
"You said the 'biggest' gun I could carry," Loona shrugged, before smirking conspiringly at Snow.
"How many times have I told you? I. Am. AVERAGE!" Snow pleaded.
Loona just chuckled as she looked back down at her phone. "Heh. No you're not."
A family of imps were walking by, glaring at them disapprovingly as they headed for the park entrance. As they turned their backs, the I.M.P. employees all gave them the middle finger in saluting tandem, which caused the baby the mother was carrying to giggle and laugh, clapping its hands at their antics.
"God, if the family wasn't a bunch of bitches, I'd think that baby was cute," Snow grumbled.
"Alright," Blitz continued, disregarding his daughter's… preference in weapon. "Point being, gear up!"
"How geared up do you want us?" Moxxie asked, just sighing and resigned by default as he put on his day-pack.
Blitz just quickly took a drag of a cigarette before flicking it away. "I want you geared up like every one of those bitches in there are the Vietcong!"
Several of his employees froze in abject mortification.
"It's Hell. Sue me," Blitz dared, throwing on his badass shades. Sighing, the rest of the cast put on their own shades. Because everyone knew, bodyguards wear shades. And shades are cool.
"You're all going to double Hell. And I'm getting dragged there by association," Octavia commented blandly, barely noticing as Stolas strolled over to the park entrance, doing his own gearing up in merchandise as he put a large Loo-Loo Land apple hat on his head. Octavia only cringed as she followed after him.
Blitz strolled confidently after his client, brandishing a marksman's rifle, through the wide-open gates. He quickly hobbled to catch up to the Goetia's longer strides. "Now listen here, Stolas. This is work, and work only. Me and my crew are on the clock, so don't even think about trying to use us to satisfy your perverted bird needs, alright. Money before honey or bunny."
Octavia followed, looking distinctly uncomfortable. "Hey dad, do we have to–"
"Hold on right there, sweetie," Blitz interrupted in a surprisingly gentle tone before swinging his attention back to Stolas, hostility written on his face. "I swear to Satan, if you try to fuck me in my little ass in that park–!"
"Oh, don't you worry, Blitzy," Stolas assured, running a finger between Blitz's eyes. "I'll save that for later. Much later."
"I'm literally going to be sick," Octavia commented in disgust.
"Oh crumbs!" Moxxie exclaimed, him and Millie following close behind her. "I knew today would be a lot. Weird blending families and all that." He quickly dug into his fanny pack. "Wha' do ya need? Antiacids? Ibuprofen? Morphine?" He promptly displayed a twelve-syringe mass-dose of the drug.
"Save the drugs for later, Mox," Snow ordered, patting Octavia on the head comfortingly as he passed. "She was being figurative."
"Oh. But she said it was 'literal'," he reiterated to himself, restowing the morphine (was it supposed to glow green?) back in his pack. For later of course.
"Just save me some. I'm probably gonna need it," Snow stated with a sigh.
"Hey. You doin' okay?" Loona asked as she trailed after them, nervously fiddling with her fingers as she tried taking in the whole park all at once. It was surreal, not to mention her first time at a theme park. Even if it was just stupid kid stuff, she was trying to get a load of all of it. She wasn't interested in it. Not at all.
Yet that still didn't keep her from noticing Snow's gradually fouling mood the longer they were there.
"I'll be fine," he stated, unyielding in his following after Blitz and Stolas. "Maybe."
The Goetia spawn strolled up next to the hellhound with a sigh. "Knew we should have just tried the mall or something?"
"What's up with him?" she asked.
Octavia froze tellingly before wincing. "That's… a bit complicated."
"Good complicated? Bad complicated?" she fished. "Really bad complicated?"
"Just… complicated."
"Oh, I hope he feels better soon!" Millie stated, somehow the epitome of excitement in that moment. "This place is still as good as I remember it!"
"And how long ago was that?" Octavia asked in a bored tone.
"Back when I was a tot!" Millie stated, even as part of carnival ride's sign broke off and crushed someone's girlfriend. Moxxie just winced as he watched, quickly looking over their heads to make sure they were clear of any signage.
"Old lady," Loona snorted.
"Oh!" Millie grabbed her husband by the shoulders, pointing frantically. "Look! It's Big Woobly!" Her finger ended on an animatronic four-eyed misshapen dinosaur that let out a blood-curdling roar/scream that rivaled the vileness of a harpy.
"It looks like its mom tried vaccinating it with essential oils?" Blitz stated, sniveling as he kept his rifle on a swivel.
"That is… deeply upsetting," Moxxie commented, clearly disturbed. "Both of those things."
"No offense, but I want your dad's money back," Loona stated, rubbing her ears.
"None taken," Octavia admitted with a wince. "I forgot all about that."
"Or you repressed it," Snow commented as he finished circling, still scanning the area seriously opposite of Blitz.
"Yeah… that too."
"Oh c'mon! It's fun! You've never been here?!" Millie asked, more toward her husband than their tag-alongs.
"No. Theme parks always disturbed me," Moxxie admitted, crossing his arms protectively. "Especially the mascots."
As if someone on the top floor was screwing with him….
"Well hey there!" A demon dressed up in a cartoonish spoiled apple mascot costume suddenly appeared.
Aggggggg!
Moxxie did the sensible thing and jumped back, his attempts at shrieking in fright sounding more like he was gargling nails as his vocal cords had yet to recover after his time screaming on Snow's motorcycle. Luckily, his wife was there to catch him.
"Hi I'm Loo-Loo! Welcome to Loo-Loo Land!" the mascot welcomed. "If you get hurt here, just try and sue us!"
"That works both ways, right?" Snow asked with peeked interest as he flexed his fingers, his knuckles cracking loudly.
"What?" the mascot asked, suddenly feeling uncomfortably warm under blue-eyed scrutiny, feeling the need to back away... real slowly.
Stolas suddenly seemed like the only excited one there. "Oh Via, look! It's Loo-Loo!"
Octavia saw an opportunity, so she took it. "I have a question."
"Well, ask away little girly!" The Loo-Loo mascot's eye decided right then to pop off and hang by a cord, making the little dance the demon underneath did all the more disturbing as it bounced up and down.
A-hyul! A-hyul! A-hyul!
"I'm gonna be sick," Moxxie gagged off to the side, even as he tried to stop looking at the bobbing eye.
Somehow, Octavia was pulling off the innocent look. "Is it true that this park is just a really shameless spin-off of Lucifer's far more popular Lu-Lu World?"
Stolas, who had been so excited by his daughter's apparent involvement, suddenly looked like he was going to cough up a pellet.
"Uh… no?" the mascot asked back uneasily, not legally allowed to answer that question any other way. For non-disparagement purposes of course.
"This place reeks of insecure corporate shame," she stated, now with a vicious smile. The moment she held out a hand, it was immediately high-fived by Snow.
"And here I thought that was just his sweaty old cum sock," he commented with a soft smirk.
"Gross, Fluffball," Octavia sniveled.
"Heheheheh," Stolas chuckled nervously, quickly grabbing his daughter's hand. "Why don't we go check out the rides?" He quickly pulled her along, even as she sent a two-fingered pointed glare at the Loo-Loo mascot.
"That chick is creepy, huh?" the mascot stated somewhat disconnectedly.
"Yeah, well, just wait 'til her dad tries to diddle your holes," Blitz commented, moving to follow his charges. "It gets really interesting after the first two are in."
The mascot turned to the imp couple next to him. "Wait. What's that mean?"
"Don't talk to me!" Moxxie snapped, eyes narrowed in suspicion as he grabbed his wife's hand. "I know you're a pervert under there." Tempted as he was to poke the demon underneath, only God – and possibly Lucifer – knew where that costume had been. Without further comment, he pulled Millie along.
"Yeah," the mascot admitted, sagging somewhat dejectedly. He perked back up when he noticed a lonely wandering hellhound looking around as she tried to soak up the park. In her observing state, it made it easy to take all of her in unnoticed. "Well hey there little missy! Are you lost?!"
"Huh? No. My group is right…." Loona looked around with a frown as she noticed a distinct lack of I.M.P. personnel. "The fuck? They were just right here!"
"Don't worry, little lady," the mascot stated, still in his overly cheery voice before it took a darker lilt. "I'll help you find them! Just this way!" He offered his hand as a guide.
Loona just stared at his hand, not even remotely as stupid as he thought she was. "Yeeeaaah. I think I'll pass."
"Awww! No need to be that way darlin'!" he stated, reaching out to quickly take her hand, even as she moved to back away.
Another hand reached out and slapped his away. Snow stood in all his human disguised imposing glory, nose twitching as he restrained snarl. "No need. Loona, let's go." He didn't leave room for arguing as he gently took up her hand in his own, guiding her back toward their group.
"Now wait just a–!" The protest died on the Loo-Loo mascots tongue as a full set of five glowing blue eyes slit thinner than pinheads.
"If I even have to think about tracking you down, there won't even be a smear left to admire." Not a threat; a promise. "Got it?" They didn't stick around long enough for the fear-pissing mascot to answer.
Once they were away, Snow allowed them to slow down. He didn't quite have the fortitude to turn to her, so he just asked, "You okay?"
"What was that all about?" she asked back, both glad and disappointed he relinquished her hand back.
"Best keep on your toes. Especially here in Greed," he answered without answering, a darker look in his eyes than she'd ever noticed before. "Whatever you do, keep at least one of us in sight. Don't wander. And for Leviathan's sake, don't go anywhere with anyone that isn't one of us."
"I'm not stupid," she bit back tersely. She wasn't a fucking child, and she hadn't been for the longest time. "I knew he was bad news."
A wave of tension seemed to roll off the leucistic's shoulders as he let out a heavy sigh. "I know you're not stupid. But, you are a beautiful young woman in a place that doesn't just thrive on extorting people. It lives off it. For most of these bastards, there's nothing they won't do or allow if it means they get a wad of cash out of it. Loyalty is measured in Souls, and if someone has a better offer, you're fucked."
Loona didn't have a response to that, or at least, not one that wouldn't sound contrite or apathetic. There was an entire side to Hell she could see in his eyes, one that for all her shitty experiences, didn't quite tap that deep.
"I'm sorry," she mumbled, not quite sure what she was apologizing for, but not knowing what else to say either. He just kind of had that effect.
Snow's hand gently patted her on the back as he continued leading her, about as close to comfort as he could offer at the moment with so much turmoil roiling underneath his skin.
"So… 'beautiful young woman'? Is that what I look like?" she wondered nervously, trying to – very blatantly – change the subject. She was still sweaty and gross from their workout that morning, not to mention she was still dressed for it.
Snow looked at her, the seriousness in his eyes never-waning, and the lock in his jaw tense as he answered. "Yes."
Loona remained silent, not sure how to respond to a straightforward, non-sex-affiliated compliment. It was… new; and sent shivers down her spine. She could almost feel the protective hum of his magic in the air around them, and with his bold, unabashed honesty, she couldn't help but move just a little closer to him. It almost disappointed her that he hadn't started blushing up a storm.
Almost… but it still felt nice.
Meanwhile, with our Favorite Imp Couple
Moxxie hoped that they'd put some distance between them and that creep. Because his lungs were killing him!
He huffed softly, bending over to catch his breath, even as he turned to see that Millie wasn't even winded, still taking in the whole park like it was the most amazing thing she'd ever seen. "You really… like this place… huh?" he gasped, trying to rein in deep breaths.
"I love this place!" Millie exclaimed. To his surprise, her mood dampened considerably as the look in her eyes turned almost… nostalgic. "My parents used to bring me and my siblings here when they could swing it. Moneywise, that is."
"Yeah. The prices do seem rather criminal," he admitted, noting an imp carting a literal wheelbarrow full of cash into a nearby stand. Enough – he'd bitterly note – that he and Millie could probably put a down payment on a house. He approached the window, wincing at just how expensive the items in the window sold for. "I mean, that much for a novelty cup that you use one time?! Maybe twice if it's dishwasher safe.
"And your thirsty at 3 AM."
"'Cause it's Loo-Loo Land!" Millie stated, back to her excited self, as though where it came from excused the pricing. Though, he thought the little jazz hands she did was a cute touch, but he might have been bias.
He turned as he heard someone approaching from behind, only to get less-than gently punched in the shoulder by Blitz, now decked out in a Loo-Loo Land drinker hat, complete with two drink holders and straws leading down to his mouth. Of course, he also had one of the large novelty cups from the display.
"And how much of that is coming out of our paychecks?" Moxxie asked in a resigned deadpan. You'd think he'd be used to it by now.
"Don't worry about it. Just be a good boytoy and listen to your hoe, Mox," Blitz stated, before taking a long drink. Behind him, it looked like Stolas was trying to get Octavia in a festive spirit with the merchandise. "Now how 'bout I take the first watch while you two go have a little fun." He said the last part with a wink.
Before he could protest at how unprofessional it would be, Moxxie was already lifted in the air, being carried away by an excited Millie. "Ooooooh! We gotta do my favorite rides!"
Again resigned to follow his wife's lead, he asked, "Oh yeah? Which one?"
He blinked as they headed straight for a roller coaster called 'the Lawsuit' as the carts erupted into green flames and burrowed straight underground.
"Oh crumbs!" he exclaimed, already looking green. He quickly reached into his fanny pack, popping antiacids and anything else he could grab in order to fortify his stomach. 'The things I do for love!'
Back with Bodyguarding
"And where the fuck have you two been?!" Blitz demanded as Loona and Snow showed back up. He hadn't even had time to admire either of his imp employees' asses. Not with Powder Puff's hand on the small of his baby's back!
"That merchandise better be coming out of your paycheck," Snow stated in annoyance, not answering his question.
"I'm the boss! I'm on salary! God! You sound just like Moxxie!" Blitz protested. "Now where were you two?" He tried to look serious with one hand on his hip, but lost the effect as the other brought his drink to his mouth.
"We decided a quickie behind one of the stands was in order," Loona answered with an eyeroll. No point in telling him what actually happened.
Blitz choked on his drink, sputtering as he beat his chest to cough back up the errant liquids. Amusing as it was though….
"She lost track of us, and that perverted mascot was offering to help her," Snow answered more truthfully.
"The fuck dude," Loona frowned at the minor betrayal.
Blitz suddenly stopped choking at that, whipping his head up at them. Suddenly he was at their sides, looking her over. "I swear to Satan, if that cotton-stuffed dilbong hurt you–!"
"I'm fine, Blitz!" Loona interrupted harshly. "And Snow already threatened him with bodily harm."
"Promised," Snow corrected. "I promised him with bodily harm. There's a difference."
Blitz suddenly reached up and pulled Snow's head down, half-puckered to kiss him full on the mouth before the leucistic - thankfully - block it with his hand. Still, he now had a slobbery mess on his palm. And did Blitz just try tonguing him? "Snorkle Daft! If I wasn't half sure you were trying to get in my baby girl's pants, I'd let you fuck my ass raw!"
"Ewww," Snow and Loona commented at the same time, both sniveling with disgust at the image that was most definitely not just planted in their heads.
"Not even if you left my paychecks alone," Snow elaborated further.
Thankfully, their musings were quickly interrupted. "Yoo-hoo!" Stolas called out, waving to them as he held a balloon in-hand. Octavia did not look amused. "We're ready to go now!"
Blitz winced, but quickly looked back at the two of them. "Alright. You two are gonna help me keep this bird-freak protected. If we're lucky, then we can switch out with Mox and Mils before he gets thirsty. If not, Chalk Dust is bait. Either way, keep your hands to yourselves."
"Bummer," Loona stated sultrily, running a single claw down the middle of Snow's chest as she sashayed toward their current employers.
"No patty-fingers?" Snow asked with a slowly reemerging amusement, even as he ignored Blitz, if only to focus a little more intently on Loona's… assets.
And there was that parade of bad ideas and good feelings coming up again. Fuck teenage hormones! Adult hormones were worse!
"I don't know what that means, but I'm gonna go with 'yes'," Blitz stated affirmingly, jumping up to cuff him up-side the head when he didn't stop staring. "Eyes to yourself. You go low. I'll go high."
"No promises," Snow stated with a smirk and an eyebrow wiggle as he took the nearest corner around a merchandise stand, effectively disappearing from view as he kited their little group.
"Loona, you stay close to the clients," Blitz ordered, not exactly happy to have her back in the field. "Anyone approaches, you gut 'em. Got it?"
"Got it," she stated with an eyeroll.
They quickly moved to get caught up as Goetia and spawn were already on the move. Blitz climbed atop the stands and displays, using the view to scope the area around his charges. While he wasn't optimistic about anyone actually trying to take a shot at the Goetia, he treated it with a seriousness that he wouldn't apply to most any other job.
Mostly because if that thirsty owl was did in, there went his business.
And… maybe… partially… … … because that perverted bird knew just the spots to tickle to get him off. Fucking 'A'!
On an off-note, he tried spying Snow from his higher view. The guy was white as fuck and should be easy to spot among the carnival reds and the imps about. However, to his curiosity, he didn't spy hide nor hair of his employee. Still, they had a job to do, and fuck if they were gonna mess it up. Best case scenario, they'd be able to branch I.M.P. into bodyguard services.
'And maybe charge a premium after we successfully guard a Goetia.' Yeah, he could practically see the cash flowing in now. They might even be able to upgrade the office.
But enough of that. Bodyguard time.
He quietly followed along, using every perch and purchase he could as he trailed behind his clients.
Snow in the meantime had taken to the shadows, wincing as his flesh started roiling. Almost at once, his normally pasty skin took on a reddish complexion. His silver hair darkened to a muddy brown, but he decided to retain his eyes for… personal reasons.
Just to add a touch of spice to his new look, magic rolled in his left hand as 'Perception Displacement' spell washed over him; making him a ghost to all but the peripheral view. Handy bit of spell work that. With nothing abnormal about his look, no one had anything to latch onto, and therefore the filter would be difficult to see around.
He was invisible without being invisible. And much cheaper magic-wise than an actual 'Invisibility' spell.
He continued to tail his adoptive family, slinking just a touch out of step with them all as he blended seamlessly into the background. It made it easy to brush against other demons, their Souls practically begging to slither into his pockets as he handlessly lifted their cash. That is, until he noticed a small gathering of imps.
Their sizes were below average for even the smaller Wrath imps. Five of them. Meer ankle-biters at best. If not for the wear on their horns, he might've thought they were children. Maybe they were. Still, they were armed with sharp knives and one even had a stereotypical pitchfork (technically a trident). And he could feel their malice and ill-intent directed at the Goetia. Specifically Stolas.
There was no telling just yet if this small group was the extent of their operation, and at this point, no telling who had hired them, if someone hired them. But he wasn't going to let this go to waste. He'd been hiding his powers from everyone but Loona for going on two and a half months now, and papa needed some release.
Just as they pulled back behind the stands to hide from the bird's eye of Blitz, Snow stalked quickly. "'Sup assholes. Spot a cig?"
"Wha–?" Before they could get much out, a flash of silver and blue cut through the air, decapitating three in one swipe. Without a hitch, Snow speared his katana into another, even as he grabbed the fifth, his whole hand encompassing the smaller demon's head.
He just sighed in disappointment. Not even a struggle. "I'd get a better warmup eating breakfast." Letting off a shrug, he released a haze of magic into the imp, watching as his pupils shrank so fast, blood started to trickle directly from his irises, and foam began to froth at the corner of his mouth. "Wonder what you saw before you died." Not really caring, he dropped the imp, continuing his procedure forward even as their now useless money found a use again in his hands.
Blitz blinked in surprise when Snow suddenly reappeared from the crowd in all his pale-ass glory, giving him a thumbs up. "Huh. Pixie Jizz knows how to blend." He shivered when a finger trailed across one of his horns.
"You know, it's quite thrilling to see you on the job, Blitzy," Stolas cooed.
"Save the foreplay for later, bitch. I'm working," Blitz growled.
"God damn it. Snow said hands to yourselves," Loona pointed out, doing everything in her power not to pull out her phone for some cheap entertainment. Ugh! Working fucking sucked! She forgot how boring this shit could be.
"That was only in the car," Stolas stated, just tickled pink with himself.
"Ugh!" Octavia groaned in disgust. "You both need to get a room."
"And enough soundproofing to drown out a tornado," Loona agreed.
"Hey! I am not a day-hooker," Blitz protested, immediately earning a frown from a nearby imp mother, her tiny tot strapped to her back. "What? I just said I'm not one, prude!"
"That implies you're a night-hooker, Blitz," Snow stated as he came back into view. "And that comes with its own set of stigmas. Including STD's."
"God-fucking-damnit, Puff-Puff Ass," Blitz growled. "Did you at least spot anything worth enjoying?"
"Five imps. And they all died such tragic deaths," Snow commented easily, putting his hands in his trench coat pockets nonchalantly. "It was boring really. Even flexing felt like over-compensating."
"Like you need to flex," Octavia stated with some minor annoyance.
"Yeah. I've seen your workout routine. You don't need to flex," Loona once more agreed with a brief look-over. "And save some for the rest of us. I'm out of practice."
"Waitwaitwaitwait! What do you mean you've seen his workout routine!" Blitz demanded, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.
"Um– I– You know–"
"Oh look! Via!" Stolas interrupted, grabbing his daughter by the shoulders.
"Oh thank sweet fucking Belphegor," Loona sighed in relief.
"You used to cry such tears of joy at this show!" Stolas continued, pointing toward a large circus big top, surrounded by signs and posters of some weird shit-stain.
"Oh no." Octavia's eyes widened, and her pupils shrank in abject terror.
Flashback
Octavia was surrounded on all sides by other little Hellions, and in their excitement, pushed her closer and closer to the show stage. A half-malfunctioning robot started sparking as it approached the front of the stage, laughing in a demonic tone, and fingers wiggling as though he was about to snatch one of them up.
Young Octavia covered her eyes, her tears flowing freely in fear, her sobs drowned out in the other children's screams of excitement.
And just up top and behind the excited kiddies, a younger imp dressed in full clown attire selling balloons glared bitterly at the robot.
Back in the Present
"I hate that fucking clown," Octavia and Blitz stated in bitter tandem.
"Yyyeah. Those weren't tears of joy, Stolas," Snow explained as he watched the two of them. He looked around, noticing that Stolas was missing. Oh fuck. "Um, Stolas?"
"Oh Blitzy!" Stolas called out, now all tied up as he was being carried away by another group of imps while simultaneously being robbed. You wouldn't know it by his face, but it was almost as though he were getting off on the bondage. Even as a bag was forcefully thrown over his head. "I need my bodyguard please!"
Sighing, Blitz, quickly pulled up his rifle, and no-scoped an imp about to stab Stolas with a pitchfork (read: trident). The others just blinked at the sudden firearm discharge, temporarily freezing. But that was all Blitz needed.
"Loony! Sic' 'em!"
Without even thinking, Loona blitzed forward, barely allowing them to shriek as they were suddenly assaulted by fangs and claws. Blood splattered everywhere. And it was glorious massacre.
Snow blinked, his mouth opening and closing in surprise as he tried to process it. Loona walked away from the carnage, wincing and smiling nervously as Blitz picked up a still bound and gagged Stolas. "That's my girl."
"Heh. Sorry," the hellhound apologized, realizing she was about covered in blood, tapping her fingers nervously together. Her tongue curled in her mouth when she realized the blood between her teeth. "Eww! Gwosth!"
"Don't tell me you got off on that," Octavia begged, watching her – unofficially adopted – brother's face desperately.
"Nope. But I am half-mast," Snow admitted softly, somewhat surprising himself with the honest reply.
Uuuuugh!
"Down boy," Blitz ordered, sending a sniveling look toward his paler employee. "Now are we going to this show or not?"
"Yeah. One sec." Snow quickly pulled off his trench coat, tossing it around Loona's shoulders, even as a spell began taking effect. The blood immediately began draining from her clothing and fur into the ground, his coat hiding her cleaned state. Because fuck if he was going to make it that easy for Blitz to see his powers. "Don't want to cause a panic," he explained with a wink toward Loona. He took a step back, casting a critical eye toward her in his coat before nodding to himself. "Not bad. Not bad at all."
"Y-Yeah. Thanks," Loona whispered, almost clutching the coat tighter around her body. It made her feel kind of special, wearing his coat. Enough so that she tried using the slightly too long sleeves the hide her blush. Which only made things worse, because it smelled just like him.
"Ugh! Not you two as well," Octavia groaned.
"Both of you, we're on the clock, so knock it off!" Blitz ordered, even as he carried Stolas in a princess carry… with ease, oddly enough.
"So–"
"You try it off the clock, I'll test how many mortar rounds I can shove up your ass!"
Snow just smirked as they began walking toward the tent. Inside were several rows of bleachers around a stage. It was relatively dark, despite the ambient light that soaked in through the canvas roof.
Octavia groaned as she picked a middling seat for the show. Far enough away from the front where she wouldn't have to relive one of her nightmares. Still, the fact that all these little kids were here, and were practically vibrating in excitement, made her shiver. Demented little creeps.
Blitz just flopped Stolas in the seat next to her, walking away as he pulled his rifle back up to return to his post. Snow took a place behind them, and Loona sat next to him; both keenly aware that Blitz was watching them all like a hawk.
"Popcorn?" Snow offered, suddenly with a large bag in his hand.
"Sure." Loona grabbed a few kernels before realizing…. 'I'm wearing his coat. We're sharing food. At an amusement park….
'Meh! Forgot where I was going with that.' Shrugging, she began munching on Snow's questionably obtained popcorn.
Octavia in the meantime was irritated at her dad for not even making the bare minimum effort to escape those imps, much less to unbind himself now that he was "safe" again. He. Was. A. Fucking. Goetia! She yanked the hood off his head, leaving him blinking owlishly at the sudden change of scenery.
The stage lights suddenly turned on across the drawn curtain.
"Hey-ey-ey-ey-ey there implings!" an animatronic in the form of a Greed jester called out, his voice warbly and stuttered, like a broken machine. "It's me! The robotic Fizzarolli! Shipped from Big Ozzie's factory to bring you a wonderful show celebrating Loo-Loo Land!
"Spelled with O's to avoid lawsuits," he quickly tacked on, as if it were part of an advert.
Octavia winced at the vile thing. Its existence was pain… for her. If it wasn't for its strange movements and voice, it might have blended in with any other Greed jester demon: with its belled jester cap, vibrant red and teal outfit, the edges yellow and encompassed by playing card hearts. That's part of what made it so freaky. Demons could claim to at least be spirit and soul in nature (if a little on the Hellish side of things).
But that thing? Those eyes had no soul.
"Now," Robo Fizz shouted. "Hit it!"
The ambient light in the tent grew dimmer, even as the stage lights grew brighter. The sounds of a band kicked up, revealed as the stage curtain drew up, revealing a cast of hideously deformed animatronics that looked like Frankenstein had gone chop-shop crazy. Overhead, a neon sign flickered 'FizzaRolli 'n Friends'… though with the 'R' on 'Friends' completely out, it looked more like 'Fiends'.
'Appropriate,' Snow could admit, even as he quietly imagined varies ways he could dismantle those… creatures. Decrepit monstrosities. Although, he half wondered if there was a 'Five Night's at Loo-Loo Land'. Pure nightmare fuel that.
"~Loo-Loo Land, Loo-Loo Land!
"~Every-body sing along with the Loo-Loo band!
"~Every boy, every girl, every woman, every man loves Loo-Loo Land!~"
Robo Fizz was getting up close and personal as he pointed at his "adoring" audience in time with the music. For Stolas' part, it was so exciting when the animatronic pointed at him. It barely lasted a fraction of a second before the robot had to back away swiftly, nearly skewering itself on Snow's rapidly drawn blade, even as Blitz pointed the barrel of his gun at it.
However, it didn't break character or it's song and dance as it almost blinked back onto the stage.
"~Loo-Loo Land, Loo-Loo Land!
"~Everything is beautiful in Loo-Loo Land!
"~Ugly children holdin' hands at Loo-Loo Land!"
The animatronic band continued its fiendish attempts at playing, even as Robo Fizz gathered an armful of excited children in a hug, before jumping and rapidly spinning, tossing them in random directions. Snow contently watched as the children smashed into the bleachers, not a parent in sight to fret over their poor little hellions as they began to bawl only just under the band's playing.
'And that kids, is why you should never meet your heroes,' he thought apathetically, snacking on a handful of popcorn.
"~Everybody's friendly, and nobody's mean!~"
The clown spun over to Big Woobly on its bass, wrapping an arm around its shoulders before suddenly leaning to the side, snapping the neck. Then slinked over to some two-headed, beaver-bear violation of the natural order with a banjo, slapping it on the back. Black oil burst from its mouth like chew-spit, hitting an audience member distracted by their phone.
"~No copyright infringements ever seen!~"
Even as the fucking thing dumped gasoline on a stack of what could only be legal documents. With the flick of a match, it exploded in a blaze of glory.
"~I have a dream (he has a dream).
"~I'm here to tell (he's here to tell)
"~About a magical, fantastic place called Loo-Loo Land!~"
Robo Fizz sat on a piano in somber lighting, looking suspiciously like a particular line from a particular (VoxTube) video recorded from a particular individual during a particular news interview.
"Jesus Christ. This is a kids show?" Loona commented as the music continued, suddenly glad she'd never been here before. The whole place was creeping her the fuck out, and she'd been in bars less seedy than this. She scooted over slightly, accidently bumping her hip into Snow.
To her relief, he bumped her reassuringly back.
"Yeah. It'd all be better if it just burned down," Octavia stated in abject agreement.
"You okay, Octane?" Snow asked worriedly, leaning forward so they could keep their voices low.
"I'm in Hell," she replied monotonously, her face scrunched in miserable disgust. A side glace at her dad revealed him clapping enthusiastically. She appreciated the shoulder squeeze the Fluffball gave her though.
"Yeah. I fucking hate this place too," he agreed. When he looked back up, he thought for a moment that Robo Fizz was watching him during its song and dance, but it passed too quickly to tell.
Still, he felt the fur on the back of his neck bristle through his disguise in warning.
Back with Millie and Moxxie
All things considered, Moxxie was doing okay… ish. Even though his stomach was rolling like a dryer machine, he'd made it through 'the Lawsuit' with his guts intact. Barely. Thank Satan for antiacids. Probably didn't hurt that he was somewhat prepared for it by Blitz's – and now Snow's – driving. Still, he'd been so close to losing his breakfast, it wasn't even funny.
"You doin' okay, baby?" Millie asked as she rubbed his back soothingly as they walked along.
"Honey, I love you more than life itself," Moxxie replied before looking at her seriously. "But I don't know if our tastes in "fun" are compatible."
She smirked softly, rolling her eyes at him as though that were an obvious statement. "Still, I appreciate the effort." She pushed some of his hair away before kissing him softly on the forehead.
The action earned them some disgusted looks from other park-goers, but Millie just threw them the middle finger. She'd love her man the way he deserved to be loved, and fuck anyone who thought otherwise with a rusty, industrial lead pipe.
"Mmm," he hummed, blinking softly as she pulled away. "I could get used to this."
"Does that mean you're ready for Round Two?" she asked sultrily, giddily observing his face as his cheeks went charcoal.
"Maybe in a bit," he offered reluctantly, "after my stomach settles."
"Okay." She didn't really intend to make him go through that again, but it was sweet that he was willing to for her sake. "C'mon! Let's go see some of the shops!"
Moxxie just chuckled as he let his wife lead the way. He'd admit, the number of games and stands was somewhat overwhelming, if not a little pricey.
They even had a ball-toss game for a dunk tank… filled with piranhas. They passed by just as a "lucky" winner hit the target, sending the clown on the seat shrieking briefly before he was submerged. And immediately the water turned red as the Hell fish frenzied. The seat was quickly reset before the next clown nervously gulped and took his place as the water started to clear, revealing a set of neatly polished bones sunk to the bottom of the tank.
And the winner was cheering. So casually.
'Oh,' was the bare minimum his thoughts allowed. Yeah, he was beginning to understand why Snow didn't like this place. Even Moxxie forgot that he was in Hell sometimes. And he was friggin' born there. Granted, he was born in Wrath, but still.
They quickly made their way through lines of shops and games. Thankfully, there was an unhealthy mix of food stalls in case they got peckish.
"Hello, hello! Step right up and win a thing!" a nearby stall operator called from his peashooter game.
OOOHH!
Millie squealed as she noticed something, and quickly dragged Moxxie over, pointing excitedly up at one of the prizes. "Look Moxxie! A thing!"
Moxxie quirked a brow as he followed to where his wife pointed. On the top shelf of the prize counter was a stuffed toy that looked like a horned purple platypus in magenta overalls. He couldn't help but smile at her excitement. She was just too darned cute. "Oh? You like that thing?"
"YEEES!" she practically roared out in anticipation before her pupils grew comically large. "I don't know what that thing is, but I want that thing!"
Moxxie exhaled in relief, before a smug look overtook his features. "Finally. Some-thing, I can handle." He quickly whipped out some Souls, before slapping them down in front of the operator imp. "Okay! One game, puh-lease!"
The imp just shrugged before sliding over one of the toy weapons.
Moxxie quickly weighed the toy weapon in hand, testing the balance and the like before he made the shot, as though it were a new weapon he hadn't fired yet. Getting a feel for it, his seriousness faded once more into pure smugness. He didn't even have to aim, looking at Millie as he fired blindly. The cork bullet hit right in the bullseye.
Puh-tink!
Moxxie made a ricochet sound as he smile, blowing imaginary smoke off the toy barrel as Millie clapped happily behind him.
"Strike one, little man!" the vendor stated, earning irritated and confused looks from the couple.
"But I hit it," Moxxie protested.
"Hmm! I don't know what to tell ya, buddy!" the carnie imp shrugged, matching Moxxie's former smugness. "The target ya see, it didn't go down! So yeah… no go bro!"
Grrrrr!
Moxxie growled before pulling on his tightest smile and throwing down another handful of Souls before picking up the gun and firing again. Bullseye. And it still didn't fall. "The Heaven's is wrong with this thing?!"
"Oh man! A real shame I tell ya! Whaa, whaa." The imp mock cried, glancing pointedly at him as he made a show of rubbing his eyes.
Moxxie's eyes went wide at the taunt before they narrowed sharply, his forked tongue hissing out before he slapped down more bills. "Another!"
Millie looked at him worriedly. She knew how competitive he could get. "Moxxie, it's fine. You don't need to–"
"I'm getting you that thing, even if I have to put a bullet in this guy's head to do it!" Moxxie stated, earning shuddered breath and a lip bite from his wife with all the love and lust she could barely contain.
Because for fuck's sake! If dominant Moxxie wasn't just the thing to get her engine revving. And fuck! They just had to be in public!
The operator imp looked less than pleased at the answer. "Oh really! You and what gun there, little guy?!" He glanced down at the toy gun for reference, but then looked Moxxie up and down before making a less than subtle glance over at Millie.
Snow's words to Moxxie always had this profound effect when he needed a confidence boost, but right now, Moxxie wondered what the pale demon would do in a situation like this, because it didn't take a genius to know this guy was screwing with him, and possibly rigging the game (like a certain, other fucking Greed imp he knew).
But Snow wouldn't take no bullshit. So Moxxie wouldn't take no guff. Especially where his wife was involved.
EEEEP!
Without a word, Moxxie's glock was quick drawn and pointed under the carnival imp's chin, earning a squeal of surprise. He would have too, since he was surprised by his own actions. "Now listen here… mister. I believe I have a shot left."
Just as quickly, Moxxie pulled his gun away before aiming it at the exact same target he'd hit twice now.
BANG!
The target blew apart and people started screaming from the sudden gunshot.
Moxxie blew the smoke from the barrel, much more serious this time. "I believe that is a bullseye?" He arched a brow at the operator, daring him to contradict him.
"Okay! Okay! Fine! You win the stupid thing!" the carnie imp protested, reaching up to grab the thing from its shelf before tossing it at them.
Millie caught the thing, quickly pulling it to her chest as she began to rub her cheek on its little head affectionately. "Oh! It's just so darling!"
"Yeahyeahyeah! Get the fuck outta here!" the imp spat, bitterly glaring at the couple.
"Yeah, just one sec." Moxxie pulled up his gun again, blasting holes into other targets until he heard the telltale click of an empty magazine. With a practiced hand, he unloaded the clip and substituted a new one, pocketing the old one and sliding a bullet in the chamber before putting it on safety. Like a pro. "There. That's what you get for being a second-rate swindler. And for looking at my wife, you cretin."
And like a badass, Moxxie grabbed his wife's hand with his free one, and began walking away. The only thing that could have made it better was if there was suddenly a giant explosion behind him. Though, realistically, if there had been an explosion, they would have been knocked off their little imp feet.
They weren't more than a few stands away before Millie stopped, pulling his arm tight before he could get too far. Her bangs shadowed her eyes as she looked down, and Moxxie was immediately on the protective.
"Um, Millie? You okay Honey?" Moxxie asked worriedly.
Millie pulled him in close, purposefully squishing the thing between her and Moxxie as she looked him dead in the eye. "This thing is gonna see so many bad things tonight," she growled.
"Bad things?" he asked in confusion. "What kind of bad things?"
She squeezed them closer, making the thing squeak against the breasts of here uniform before quirking an eyebrow at him.
"Oh. Oh! Those kinds of bad things!" Moxxie exclaimed, suddenly swallowing nervously.
Back at the "Show"
Octavia was leaned back into Snow's knee, her fist smashing furiously into the bleachers as she moaned painfully. "Kill me. Kill me now."
"Oh God, make it stop!" Loona begged, whining slightly as she held her hands over her ears. She looked like someone had spent the better part of twenty minutes sucking her soul out.
Snow was wide-eyed as he resisted the urge to commit Seppuku. The elevator music at their office was less suicide-inducing than this; in fact, that shit was a fucking God-send by comparison.
Blitz was in the background, banging his head on the barrel of his rifle as he tried to stay cognizant. "Fucking shit fuck mother fuck shit!" he growled with each smack.
Stolas clapped along happily, swaying back and forth in his seat as the clown continued to sing.
"~Every-body sing along with the Loo-Loo band!
"~Every boy, every girl, every woman, every man loves Loo-Loo Land!~"
Robo Fizz ended on maniacal laughter and fireworks.
"Oh, thank Lucifer," Loona sighed in relief, breathing heavily as she flopped against Snow's shoulder. She was almost lulled to sleep when she felt his hand begin to move soothingly through her hair.
"I know. I know," Snow whispered, working extra hard to clear his mind.
Blitz shivered as he righted himself. "Years away from the stage, and it still doesn't get easier." Then he saw an imp with a knife popping up from between the bleacher seats.
Octavia sat back up, looking like she'd swallowed the bitterest pill in existence.
"Ah-hohohohoho! How delightful!" Stolas praised, clapping rapidly.
BANG!
Blood and grey matter splattered all over the seat next to Stolas as Blitz sniped the little bastard that was attempting to waste the Goetia. Stolas took a second look at the body now missing everything above the lower jaw collapsed next to him before he started biting his lower lip.
"Oh my," he whispered thirstily. "What good aim you have, Blitzy."
Embarrassed, Octavia tried to cover her face with her beanie, but between the torture event that constituted this show, and everything else in between….
Ugggh!
Octavia roared in frustration. "I can't do this anymore!"
She immediately sat up, making for the exit along with the horde of screaming children as they all panicked for the exit, just as Stolas turned around. "Wha–? Wait! Octavia!" He moved to follow immediately.
Snow patted Loona on the head, watching after his family. "C'mon, gorgeous. We got a job to do. Eyes on the target."
"Five more minutes," she protested, pushing herself up.
"I know. Me too."
As they were packing to leave, they heard another round of maniacal laughter.
"Ha-ha-ha-ha! O-Oh! Is that Blitzo my sensors spot up the-e-e-ere?!" Robo Fizz called out from the stage, causing the remaining members of I.M.P. to turn toward the lively animatronic.
"The fuck?!" Loona cursed with a growl.
"Double fuck," Snow agreed, his growl hissing out. He couldn't feel anything off that robot. No emotions, no inclinations. Nothing that indicated a true soul. Completely unreadable. 'Fuck-fuckity-fuck from Fuck-town in Fuckania!' His hand edged toward the hilt of his weapon.
"I guess the kiddies are still runnin' away from you! Huh?" the robot continued, his whole head spinning as he taunted Blitz before he broke out in another round of broken laughter.
Blitz swung around from his vantage, gritting his teeth angrily. "The 'O' is silent now. Now fuck off! I have a job to do."
"Silent?!" Robo Fizz exclaimed, putting its hands to its face like it was shocked before tap dancing on the stage. "Just like your audience always was when you told you're lazy jokes here!"
Mua-hahahaha!
That laugh was really starting to grate on his nerves. "Bitch! I make more money now killing people than you do being a cheap-ass robo ripoff of an overrated sellout jester!" Blitz snapped back, bearing his teeth.
"Oh-hoo-hoo-hoo!" it laughed with a glitch. "Somebody's salty! Real or not though, people love me! Does anybody love you? Blitzo!"
A portion of the bleachers suddenly smashed into Robo Fizz, though the robot didn't even flinch at the impact. All heads whipped around to see the blaring silver glare of a pissed off hellhound bitch, snarling as she began to crouch low.
"Motherfucker! No one gets to talk to my dad like that but me, you piece of budget cut, junkyard scrap!" she snapped, ripping up another piece of bolted down bleacher with ease.
Sniffling could be heard and both Snow and Loona looked up at Blitz, who had tears in his eyes.
"Blitz, are you fucking crying?" Loona demanded.
"Kinda obvious, isn't it?" Snow asked, his katana sliding soundlessly from its scabbard.
Blitz sniffed, wiping another tear away. "That… was just… so beautiful, Loony!" He pulled out a tissue, loudly blowing his nose.
"Ugh! Gross Blitz!"
"Aw-w-w-w-aw-ww-w!" Robo Fizz glitched. "So sweet! You even got a pet dog!" The expressive yet empty eyes suddenly turned to Snow, and its manic grin grew even crueler. "And who do we have here?! I don't know who you are! But that sword is ringing some muh-muh-muh-massive warning bells!"
The other I.M.P. personnel looked at Snow curiously. Blitz for his part just shrugged. "Whatever! Don't care! Stop harassing my employees! That's my job, and I gladly pilfer their checks over it!" He popped the clip out before putting in a larger magazine and clicking something on the stock. "Now, I've gotten exceptionally good with using guns, so any other bullshit comments before I start adding new fuck-holes in your sex-doll face?!"
"Mmm?! No!" the robot stated with a shrug, suddenly winding up like a sawblade and rolling up the stairs and bleachers.
Blitz's began panic shooting, his sniper now rapid firing like a machine gun. Robo Fizz set to pounce, its limbs as limber as tentacles as it moved to attack, only for its buzzsaw-like body to be met with an immovable object.
Sparks flickered as its metal body began grinding up against the blade of Snow's katana, and just as quickly, jumped back and way. Robo Fizz examined his own body, curiously eyeing the damage as parts of its costume and shell had been sliced and ripped away, revealing some exposed innards, and sparking wiring from their brief clash.
The blade didn't even have a chip in it. Instead, it's silver sheen pulsed challenge.
"So you're the dangerous one," it grinned threateningly.
Snow's face tightened in realization. "Oh fuck."
Before he could reposition, Robo Fizz was suddenly sliding forward, wrapping around him with all the contortion of a snake. There was a moment of conflict as a battle of speed and flexibility took place before Snow was quickly slung full-force toward the tent siding.
Outside the Tent
Another carny imp was pushing along his cart, filled to the brim with green-fired torches. Standing much taller and thinner than the average Greed imp, he sported a darker red coloring with the usual white hair, yellow sclera, but with thin pupiled eyes. Among his other traits was a thin, but long curly moustache. Like a skinny Cheshire cat. He was dressed in a white shirt, grey vest with a black bowtie, and grey-striped white pants with black boots.
"Torches over here! I say, I say! Get your inconvenient torches here!" he called out.
Snow blasted out of the tent siding, taking out the cart while the imp stood there in shock.
"OW! GOD! FUCK!"
The torches had spilled everywhere, setting tents alight and Snow stumbling to his feet, shivering as the flames danced around him. Some of it tried to catch his clothes on fire before they turned blue and extinguished.
The carnie imp just blinked in confusion at the scene despite the growing chaos and destruction around him.
"For fucks sake! MOVE!" Snow snapped, teeth gritting as he flicked his fingers to summon his sword back to his hand.
Even as he moved back toward the tent, the other animatronics attempted to flee the big top, the raging green inferno burning away their outer casings and revealing their robotic innards. Those exposed even longer began to melt into slag. And Robo Fizz basked in it as the flames began to consume him as well, stepping through the hole he'd caused.
"Well I say, I say! I'mma getting the fuck outta here!" the imp cried, running like his life depended on it. Which it probably kinda did. Snow just rolled his eyes before refocusing on his foe.
As Robo Fizz stalked toward the leucistic, gunfire rapidly pelted against his back, causing the flaming robot to turn around swiftly.
"Bring it you Toys-R-Us discount section reject!" Blitz taunted, unloading more bullets into the robot.
Gnashing his metallic teeth, he was about to press toward Blitz before a solid fist landed on its face, sending it crashing through another tent and setting it ablaze.
"Ow! Fuck!" Loona blew carefully on her hand, some of the fur singed where she had decked it.
"Should have probably coated your hand, Loona," Snow commented with a little sparkly wave.
"No shit! Ya think?!" she snapped back.
"Look out!" Blitz called, shoving her out of the way as flaming debris collapsed between them. "Loony?! Loony! You okay?!"
"I'm good!" she called out, coughing as she took in a lungful of smoke.
"Just hang on, honey! Daddy's coming!" Blitz called back, trying to find a way around the flames and burning wreckage.
Before he could make any progress, a flaming semi-melting metal hand shot, grabbing him by the face and tossing him effortlessly away. "Oops! My hand slipped!" Robo Fizz hissed.
Snow coughed, hauling himself toward Loona as he began subconsciously pushing the flames away as he stepped toward her. "You okay?" he winced, his eyes narrowing through all the smoke.
"Do I look okay?!" she growled, coughing again.
The flames licked in closer. Already, to anyone from the outside, they'd wonder what part of the park wasn't up in flames. But Snow could feel it. Tens; Hundreds of demons, imps, and the like. So much fear and terror, weighing in with the smoke as both permeated the air, trying to choke him. How many guilty souls had died already? How many innocence?
Loona shivered despite the heat, pulling Snow's jacket tighter despite the flames continued to burn hotter, casting green light all around them as tents and stands burned.
Their attention was brought back up as Robo Fizz lifted Blitz by the neck and chucked him through a tent. It looked as though the machine was truly intending to hurt him.
"C'mon," she growled, hacking slightly. "That piece of scrap is still fighting Blitz." She looked around quickly, noting that they'd have to travel further down to escape the fire. But that would lead them away from Blitz. The fire was everywhere, looming taller and taller as it seemed to burn unending.
She looked at Snow desperately. "Can't you do something about that? You know… magic stuff?"
Snow shook his head, trying to fight off the piercing headache that was mounting, slowly pulling her along through rows of tents as the heat continued to climb, stifling the air and obscuring their surroundings in smoke. "I haven't tried to control that much before! One little slip up, and we'd be screwed!" He lifted the amulet around his neck with his thumb. "Besides, too much, and this thing starts hurting!"
"Well can't you take it off?!" she demanded as she followed, like it was the easiest solution in the world.
He just shook his head. "Not really. Think of it as a regulator. It lets me know when I'm burning too hot, too fast."
It wasn't just that. But taking it off was a bad idea. A very bad idea. And yet….
Gunfire realerted them as Blitz continued to fight before they disappeared beyond some further tents and stands.
He shouldn't take it off. Not now… not ever. He always wore it for a reason. But… he had to try something.
Loona didn't know what was going through his head, but it was clear he was struggling with something. Whatever that thing around his neck was, it was clearly important if he was that worried about taking it off. Regardless of that, she continued to look for some opening or other they could exploit.
All at once, Snow stopped. She only made it a few more steps ahead of him before he pulled her back. She didn't get a chance to ask questions or protest. One moment they were walking. The next–
The next, she let out a squeak of surprise as her mouth was captured by Snow's. Not one that emanated hunger. Not a simple peck, or inexperienced purse. It was tranquil. Almost askant and innocent, yet full and pressing at the same time. Desperate and longing all wrapped up in a single action; and all she could do was freeze like a deer in headlights.
Before she had to chance to reject or reciprocate, he pulled away, gently bumping his forehead against hers.
"One for luck, 'cause I'm about to pull a stupid," he whispered breathily, a firm seriousness across his face as his pupils expanded. He quickly turned around, leaving her stunned as she blinked blankly at some tents in flames.
'Oh? Oh. Oh!' she managed, not even aware that her tail was beginning to sway gently, even though she couldn't find it in herself to muster a singular coherent emotion.
Snow took a deep breath, trying to ignore that he'd just kissed Loona. Full on the mouth. No bars held. And… yeah… not a chance in Hell. Already he could feel the amulet burning into his chest like a branding iron as he forced his power to roar to its utmost, his sword-hand directing, and his free-hand reaching upward as though he were trying to grasp the green Greed sky.
He ignored the cries and screams of fear and pain that echoed around him as though they were right next to him. He ignored the scent of burnt and burning flesh. How the smoke and flame danced on his tongue. How the heat singed at the hair on his arms. But something shifted when he heard the wails of a child crying for its mother; he couldn't ignore it.
He wouldn't ignore it!
"Just like the candles," he growled as he psyched himself up, closing his eyes to focus before nodding so-so blindly. "Only on a much bigger scale."
And slowly, all five peered open, glowing as the nearest of the green flames began to flicker blue, swirling as they began leaning toward him. The air around him pulsed, pushing and pulling at the world around him. The light flickered hauntingly across his face as it began to shadow. Silver fur began to sprout across his skin as his claws ripped out of his nails, attempting to forcefully emerge further than they ever had before. And his pupils became enunciated as they slit like a snakes, cold and lifeless as they hypnotically commanded fealty from the fires.
And in his hand, his blade began to war with a red and blue glow, slowly melding into a single, violet hue.
With Moxxie and Millie
"You ready sweetie?" Millie asked, pulling Moxxie along with one hand while holding her thing close with the other.
Moxxie took a deep breath as they approached a new ride, his gaze hardening as he looked at another roller coaster. 'The Right to Shut the Fuck Up'. Its tracks wove in and around 'the Lawsuit' tracks, creating a series of near-miss twists and turns that reminded Moxxie why he hated these kinds of rides. Nevermind the legal ramifications that would never see the light of day.
But, he had promised Millie to try another one, and he'd been hitting the antiacids like an addict in preparation for this moment.
He sucked in a deep breath, before slowly letting it out. He was going to regret this, but it would be a good idea to at least try. "Alright. I'm ready."
Millie squealed excitedly, about to drag him to end of the line before something crashed loudly into a nearby trashcan. They turned at the noise, guns popping up in surprise from Moxxie before he looked at the garbage's current occupant.
"Sir?!"
"Ohhh! Hey guys!" Blitz greeted cheerily before glaring past them. "You should probably… uh, go make sure Stolas is okay. I've got some unfinished business to take care of."
They turned to see Robo Fizz emerging from a growing sea of green flames, laugh in mechanical glitch as parts of its otherwise resilient costume began to melt away, revealing some of the shell underneath.
The imp couple blinked before shrugging and going to do just that. Who wanted to mess with a fucked up, psychopathic robot covered in flames?
"Looking a little trashy there, Buh-uh-uh-uh-litzo," the animatronic taunted.
"God, if I haven't heard that joke from at least three people this week," Blitz fired back in a bored tone before lifting his flintlock and literally firing back.
The hit made a little ding sound as the robot's head spun around. Even as it righted itself, the bot flexed its jaw, revealing the bullet nestled between its sharpened teeth before it spat it out, along with a cough of oil from its damaged parts.
"Oh, what a mouth!" Blitz grinned before freezing and contemplating why that came out so naturally. He smacked his flintlock to his head with a sigh. "Yeah, suddenly feelin' like I need to cut back on the hardcore porn for a while." He snorted, lifting up his sniper-turned-machine gun. "Yeah! As if!"
Now looking freaky (read: -er), Robo Fizz revved up his body as he began spinning like a sawblade again. Blitz did the smart thing and dived out of the way.
Meanwhile, with the Goetia
"Octavia!" Stolas called frantically, looking around from where he'd last seen his daughter.
"Just leave me alone!" Octavia yelled back.
Stolas caught the tail-end of her tail feathers (a trait she'd fortunately inherited from him, lest he would have lost her a couple times already), disappearing into a funhouse literally called 'Funhouse'. The fact that the entire building was shaped like their lord and savior, Lucifer's, head… was only slightly concerning.
"Octavia!" he called again, immediately following after her, unaware of another band of fresh imps stalking after him.
He paused briefly in the room, taking in the purples and blues that reminded him vaguely of home, even as he looked around past the odd sights of eyes, mirrors, tube slides, and surrealist reject art. He quickly slid down further, trying to pick up some trace of his daughters passing.
A shadow briefly loomed over the back of his head before another one of those tinier imps piggybacked him.
"Um, I'm supposed to be bodyguarded right now," Stolas stated in a huff, crossing his arms. The imp just grinned, slapping its extra-long sleeves over his face. There wasn't even any chloroform to make this even half-way interesting.
BANG!
The imp jerked forward wide-eyed for a second as a hole ripped through the center of its head, before it slid off Stolas, splatting on the ground. Stolas turned around, noting it was Blitzy's imp employees. The one called Mildred had taken the shot, some… thing in one hand, and a pistol in the other.
"Hm." He quickly brushed away some of the blood off his feathers. "That's better. Now where is Blitzy? I wasn't aware there was a changing of the guard just yet. You'd think he'd have at least given me a fair warning."
"Um… we're still talking about Blitz, right?" Moxxie tried clarifying, but was unable to keep the sarcasm out of his voice. "The guy who shows up unannounced right in the middle of dinner? No warning, what-so-ever? When he wasn't invited?"
"Besides… he's a little… uh, busy," Millie tried placating.
"Doing what exactly?"
"Being a fool," Moxxie answered, silently changing out his wife's clip, even though she'd only shot one bullet.
"What kind of a fool?" Stolas demanded. As if it mattered what kind.
"The 'Everything is now on fire'," Mox answered, more annoyed that they'd have to cut today short because of something as stupid as the park getting crispy-fried. But at least he wouldn't have to ride any more roller-coasters.
Stolas just sighed. "What about Snow and Blitzy's baby girl?"
"Ugh! He might jump you just for that," Moxxie groaned in annoyance. "The 'his baby girl' part, not the 'Snow and Loona' part."
"Haven't seen them yet," Millie reported. "If I had to stake a guess, I'd bet they were gettin' busy."
"With the park on fire, it's the wrong kind of heated, honey," her husband countered logically.
Bored with the conversation – mostly because he knew his student/semi-adopted son could handle himself, and would otherwise be the near-perfect gentleman – Stolas turned back to his search. He walked further into the funhouse, side-stepping through a pair swinging pendulums and past some vertical spiked rolling pins. Most of the funhouse felt strangely dead; not something one would expect from an active park.
Quickly though, he did hear some life and quickly followed it down a tunnel, ending in a ride room. Large apple-shaped railcars were riding around in a circle on a track at an exceptionally slow speed. Octavia was sitting in one of them as it continued to ride in literal circles.
Snn! Snn.
The tension drained from his body all at once as he noticed her holding her knees to her chest, doing her best to hide her face as she sniffed, gently wiping at the corner of her eye with her palm.
"Octavia," he called softly, letting the Loo-Loo Land hat fall from his head as he stepped further into the room. He gently stepped into her car, settling in next to her. "I take it you are… not having fun?"
"I didn't even want to come here!" she stated, her tone frustrated even as she tried to hold back another fresh wave of tears.
"I'm sorry, sweetie, I… I thought you loved it here," Stolas sighed, guilt mounting as he helplessly watched.
Snn.
She sniffed again, turning to look at him. "I did," she admitted. "When I was a kid, and my parents didn't hate each other. And my dad didn't flirt with some… weird red dickhead the entire time. And you know… Fluffball's always hated anything to do with this Ring."
"I know, I'm sorry, Via. Truly, I'm sorry for… everything… happening right now," Stolas apologized, shuttering as feelings he'd kept under lock and key for over seventeen years began to worm their way out. "I know it's… a lot. I, huh, I should have listened."
"I just want to go home," she cried, her voice breaking a little more. "But home doesn't even feel like home anymore. You ruined it."
"Octavia… you need to understand… you're mother and I… I just… I felt…." He exhaled sharply, his frustrations mounting at himself. "She's always been… I haven't been ha– We weren't in… I'm sorry! I don't have the words."
He silently cursed his inability to explain. How one of the two things that had made his fucked-up marriage bearable was only now slowly drawing back the curtain on this sad and sinking ship that had been burning so long before now. Snow had an outsider's perspective; his apprentice had spotted it easily. But his daughter… he'd wanted to spare her the worst of it.
All the drama, the open mockery, the backhanded comments, the straight to his face comments, the actual occasional backhand when Stella was particularly cross. How he'd medicated it with prescriptions and alcohol, and sometimes both at once just to dull the misery. How he'd weathered all of it despite knowing he could have ended it all in the flash of a moment; he was a Prince after all. There were a million and one ways he could have struck back, every one of them as gruesome as the last.
He could have asked that tragic and gentle child he'd rescued to do him a favor, and her brother would have done it without question. Gladly at that.
And yet, all he'd wanted was for things to be as normal as possible for her. And even that failed. His dearest owlet's world was crumbling in front of her, and he couldn't even provide her a stable place to stand.
"Are you gonna run off with him? And leave me behind? Go away where… I can't find you?"
Even as her throat choked up, Stolas didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around her, pulling her close to him. "What? No! No, no, never! I'd never to that! Never!" He felt tears in all four of his eyes as she clutched at his shirt, holding on to some hope of safety and stability.
"Via, you are best of every star in the sky. There is nothing the Realms hold that I wouldn't give up for you in an instant." Stolas couldn't help it as his own tears began to fall, unable to stop them even if he had wanted to. "You were the very first moment I understood exactly what it was like to be wanted and loved. To have a heart so brimming with a joy I couldn't contain.
"I loved you the moment I felt how warm your egg was. How you shook whenever you heard my voice. How you'd hum as I sang to you or told you about the stars and planets. I remember the day you hatched. How I got to hear your heart beat next to mine for the first time.
"You were so precious to me then, and you're precious to me now. And as long as I'm alive, I will never be where you can't reach."
He had to hold back a laugh as she snorted back a runny nose, gently brushing his hand across her brow. Resolved, he gently picked her up in a princess carry, holding his little girl close as he began to head for the exit.
"Come now. I think it's time we left this place," Stolas stated. "And you were right, this place is a shameless spin-off of Lu-Lu World."
Octavia choked on a laugh, sniffing as she began wiping at her slowly drying tears. "Fucking knew it," she managed out.
Before they could leave though, a handful of imps dropped down from the ceiling, armed to the teeth. Stolas merely spared them a glance, irritated at their interuption. He didn't even need a fraction of his powers as he glared at them.
Their eyes widened, their weapons dropping, their claws tearing at their faces before blood began to pour from their noses, their ears, their mouths, their eyes. Eventually the blood began to turn slog-gray, and their eyes melted in their sockets, their voices strangled as their throats swelled, and the very veins under their skin began to contort as he walked away, ultimately uninterested in their final fates.
He stepped out to complete chaos. In the few enough minutes since they'd entered the funhouse, the entire park had (somehow *cough, cough*) ended up in engulfed in green flames.
"It's a nice touch," Octavia stated with a wince, still sniffing as she tried to find the bright side.
"Yes. It does have its… charm," Stolas agreed carefully, even as he watched several tents and stands collapse under their own burning weight.
He stumbled suddenly as an invisible wave seemed to hit him, and he gasped, ensuring his hold on Octavia was still firm as carefully as he righted himself.
"Dad? What is it?" Octavia asked carefully, her eyes wide with fear.
Stolas glanced around warily, looking back and forth across the park for the source as another pulse seemed to wake through the air and ground. His eyes widened when he noticed the green fires beginning to move against the wind, drawing away from their intended paths, even as they began to turn blue-tinged white.
"Ohhh," Stolas stated with a thick swallow. "F***."
Author's Note: Don't forget to READ and REVIEW! ^^
Continuation of Loo-Loo Land. Will probably finish on Part 3. If I hit a Part 4, then I might be doing too much. Who knows?
To start, some light vehicular name calling.
And more inter-family bonding! Nothing like flipping off another family, together.
While I could appreciate Octavia reaching her breaking point in the original show, it felt like there wasn't enough to push her that far (unless you include that shitty 'Loo-Loo Land' song), so I added a few more to give her rage-quit some more substance.
I did a double-take when Blitz was addressing Octavia versus how he addresses Stolas, and was pleasantly surprised when he was almost… gentle? It kind of threw me off guard considering the only demon he treats remotely like a person is Loona, and even that's a bit rocky.
The paycheck jokes are going to keep going until I get bored of them. And even then, I'll probably still write them. Consistency is key.
Some more of Snow's abilities having some light shed on them. FYI, most – if not all – of them are actually hinting at what kind of demon he is. Hint, hint! Wink, Wink!
Including Loona in the action a little, and Snow's here for it.
All of them get to suffer Robo Fizz's song… together. As a family.
Of course, Millie and Moxxie being wholesome cinnamon rolls. I did a little OOC to Moxxie's character with the carnie imp. Going back from when Snow helped Moxxie with his shooting in 'Murder Family', Moxxie's had two and a half months of exposure to Snow being Snow. Suffice to say, Moxxie is growing as a demon, and this is just a step in his journey. Slowly, but surely. He's still our Moxxie. Still kinda clueless. Just less likely to take shit from anyone but his boss. Especially where Millie is concerned.
Blitz, Loona, and Snow all ganking Robo Fizz. Still, I figured I keep it brief and save the good stuff for the next chapter.
Snow kissed Loona! Yay! While I'm not sure if it had the impact I wanted, I realized that I would never find a "perfect" time to do it.
And no. We're not doing Snow's demon form reveal yet. I've mentioned it before, but I'll drop clues, but I'm saving that good shit for Spring Broken.
More brief Moxxie, Millie, and Blitz.
I honestly adored the scene with Stolas and Octavia, and while I applaud Vivzie's version, I knew it needed something a little more. It was too easily resolved and placated by a few reassurances. It had substance, but I wanted depth, so I had to really dig deep with this scene. I bawled as I wrote this, and I'm secure enough in my masculinity – and my mommy/daddy issues – to admit it. This scene was two – maybe three – straight hours of me just bawling my eyes out as I wrote. I cried so hard, my eyes ached for several hours afterward. And fucking hell, I hope I make you guys bawl too!
While having Stolas turn an imp to stone was badass as fuck, I went for a more "demon" approach. The kind of shit that you'd expect from some gory, Hollywood exorcist shit. Add in some effortless disinterest, and we have the massive extent that constitutes Stolas' powers.
No other music added this time around, so no further disclaimers yet, but I have a couple ideas for Part 3. Got a whole short playlist on Spotify specifically for the music I wanna use.
Ooooooh! Big (sorta) reveal next chapter! And no, it's not what kind of demon Snow is. Not yet anyway. Nope! Other stuff first! More powers and arsenal stuff though!
Heads-up: Next chapter will probably be called 'The Secrets Out (Sorta)'. Maybe? It might need some work.