A/N: Hey guys, I'm back.
Sorry for the tardiness. Between depression, lack of motivation and inspiration, and being massively sick for weeks... I finally got the chapter out!
God, I'm exhausted.
That being read, I welcome your Reviews. If you have criticisms, I welcome those too. Please keep them constructive. I want to grow as an author, and I can't do that if people aren't willing to critique, or only want to tear me down. I'm not here to please everybody, but I am here to learn. There is a method to my madness, even if I don't always fully understand it. 90% of what I write, I don't write baselessly. If there is something not canon or changed from canon, there is generally a reason. If something doesn't make sense, feel free to let me know (constructively), and as long as it doesn't creep into SPOILER! territory, I'll do my best to explain it.
WARNING: This is rated M for a reason. In keeping with the spirit of Helluva Boss, there will be copious amounts of Murder, Brutal Violence, Senseless Violence, Child Violence, Gender-Equal Violence, Accidental Violence, Robot Violence, Drugs, Hard Drugs, Soft Drugs, Prescription Drugs, All-Natural Drugs, "All Natural" Drugs, Alcohol, Blood, Gore, Visceral, Dissection, the occasional slow-crunch of Bones, and Cannibals contributing to said "slow-crunch", Physical Abuse, Mental Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Language, Offensive Language, non-Politically Correct Language, possibly butchered attempts at Foreign Language, Horny Demons, Hornier Humans, even Hornier Furries, and any number of things the average law-abiding citizen might consider "distasteful", but that I find hilarious because laughter is easier than being angry at people or the world all the time.
May also include some point-blank wholesomeness. No reason to warn about this, except that some of you might find it offensive because you have nothing good in your life, and therefore have to ruin everything good for everyone else. If you feel offended for me calling you out, then you know who you are.
This story is not for people who are easily offended, are offended on other people's behalf when said people really don't give a shit, squeamish around violence, think sex is naughty, or think jokes are like dicks and take them way too hard. You know the drill (haha! I just got that!)
If you don't like it, DON'T READ IT!
This is for Adults, or for any of you below the age of 18 who are so desensitized to this stuff because your parents never cared about your mental sanctity (Wow! Already getting in the spirit of things and insulting people! Noice!). All the same, Reader Discretion is Advised. (God I love this pre-story warning!)
But! Because this is my first "real" attempt at such mature content, don't expect me to dive head-first into 'X-rated' stuff. Or even dabble. No dabbling. That's not the vibe I got from Helluva Boss. That, and my mother would burn me at the stake if I did. Love you Mom!
Review Responses:
- "Guest" 1: Updated!
- StingyWingy: Oof! Way to put the pressure of your Theological woes on to me. I could give you an answer. Or at least, one that I believe. But I already have that episode more or less planned out already. And it probably won't go the way you think or hope.
- DK676: Wish granted!
- monkiepawn: Yes. A katana. And why not? It's among my favorite bladed weapons, and I won't apologize for equipping him as such. And don't be rediculous.
And why would Lucifer need the competition as King of Hell?
- BarnabasEvans: Awwww! You used "posilutely"! Thanks!
- Ironically Challenged: Of course!
*End of Responses
Disclaimer: I don't own Helluva Boss, Hazbin Hotel, or any of its subsidiaries. Those rights belong exclusively to Vivziepop, and anyone else who had a hand in it's creation. I just get to enjoy it for all it's worth.
I would also like to point out that I don't own any other media or content that may be mentioned as further enrichment to the story.
I do however, own all Original Characters and Scenarios, so... MINE!
Without further ado. *Que the dimming of the lights*
Chapter 8: The Interludes
Interlude 1: While They Were Gone (During the Events of "Loo-Loo Land")
Madelyn looked over her reflection carefully, ensuring that she looked presentable. Her hair was amazing, and make-up was a commodity that had thankfully become unnecessary when she'd entered Hell since her skin had become near flawless; made for sin.
That shit was expensive as fuck down there anyway.
But years of ingrained self-consciousness had her double-checking anyway.
Her hands gently ran gently down her sides to smooth out any perceived wrinkles in her sweater. While she wasn't a bombshell, she was confident she could turn a few heads; not that she was exactly keen on it, save for maybe one… certain head.
Hell had proven to be every bit the pit of debauchery that Sunday service had proclaimed it to be, and more. Just less fiery damnation and more every day being an existential crisis that made those on Earth look tame by comparison. To be honest though, it wasn't that much different.
The denizens of Hell and Earth seemed to share an acute sense of apathy toward any action that didn't directly involve them, no matter the severity – or how despicable – the action. But unlike humans, demons didn't feel the need to hide their vices or hide behind self-indulgent delusions; much less redirect attention from those things by pointing out the flaws of others.
Hell owned that it was a shithole, and didn't bother pretending otherwise.
Morality was a pipedream in either case.
In that way, Hell was a lot more honest than Earth ever was. There were less than a handful you could trust, and you learned it very quick. The only way to survive long-term was to be selfish and self-sustaining. Or have one Helluva backer.
Still, she was coping as best as she could.
At least she could kill anyone that tried shoving their claws up her skirt, with negligible ramifications.
Sighing, she reluctantly stopped pampering herself up.
"It'll hafta do." It wouldn't do well to be any later.
Exiting her shitty apartment and taking the bus (because she wasn't taking a "Taxi" again), she eventually arrived at the building that situated the office of I.M.P.
Unaware that someone was following her.
After exiting the elevator that made her want to stab her ears out with a finely sharpened No. 2 pencil, a messily scrawled "Gone Killing" with little cartoon ponies colored on it, was taped against the door. And judging by the multiple layers of tape and the frayed edges, had seen repeated use.
Without hesitating, she knocked on the door.
A moment of silence followed. Then another. And another. And another.
Knock-knock-knock.
She knocked more fervently, slightly worried now that her first (sorta official) charge in Hell wasn't answering.
"Hello?" she called out.
Suddenly the door swung open, causing her to jump back as her hair flared in fright.
Eddie quickly glared down both ends of the hall, nodding before snagging her hand and yanking her into the office.
"What was that about?" she demanded, her stern teacher voice in play.
"You dumb bimbo," Eddie shot back, quickly closing and deadbolting the door. "This is Hell. Or did you forget that." He turned around, blinking when he didn't see anyone there. "Um… hello?"
Madelyn exited the conference room, holding a styrofoam cup of coffee. She took a deep inhale of the steam, before slamming it back. In a few short gulps it was gone, and she groaned in disappointment. She hadn't even had time to taste it, but daaaamn was that good! The caffeine hit her veins right quick.
Eddie's mouth gaped, staring confusedly at her, and with more than a little worry.
Noticing this, Madelyn blushed in embarrassment, chuckling nervously as she drew her hair behind her ear. "Sorry 'bout that."
"What the shit was that?" Eddie questioned, looking completely lost.
"I haven't had coffee in a while," she confessed with a slight grin.
"I'll take your word for it then." He kited around her, walking back toward the couch. Without anything else said, he hopped back up and laid down, snuggling into the pillows there.
"So, what is it you do around here?" Madelyn asked, some of that old bright-eyed teacher shining through the demon she'd become.
"Mostly just sit on my ass all day waiting for the others to get back," he stated. "Occasionally get stuff thrown at me. And repeatedly get kicked out of whatever seat I'm in."
"They… throw stuff at you?" she reiterated slowly, trying to wrap her head around that.
"No, just the bitch." He shrugged as though he was used to it by now. "But that's how I know when I've won. She's just too easy to rile up." Que the semi-sadistic grin.
Madelyn just stared wide-eyed at the child as he huffed, relaxing deeper into his seating. Far be it from her to point fingers when she'd literally tossed a child – one of her children at that – through a ceiling in her homicidal rage. It made her heart heavy with guilt, and she was intent on carrying it for however long she'd last down here.
Still, that was then, this was now. She walked over next to the couch before crouching down, meeting the eyes of this other sinner as he deadpanned at her. "Well, I'm here now. So how 'bout you tell me what you wanna do."
Eddie just looked her over with confusion and suspicion. "I'm not gonna get sold, am I?"
"Now where did you get an idea like that?"
"Television," he shrugged simply, not specifying exactly how, or what, he'd been watching. "Plus I've already heard that the cannibals have a market down here for sinner's, since we constantly reform." And the fact it had been brought up at all concerned her. But it also ignited an angry little spark in her gut.
Mayberry just shook her head softly. Reassuringly. "No. I won't hurt you. And I won't let anyone else hurt you either."
He continued to watch her carefully for a moment. "No mincemeat?"
"No mincemeat," she reaffirmed, not quite sure what he meant. But she was intelligent enough to fathom a guess.
He pondered this for a moment before seeming to make up his mind as he nodded. "Fine. I want ice cream."
She nodded in acceptance, her smile a little brighter. "So, where do we go?"
Eddie just rolled his eyes as he stood up. "It's just down the street. The boss has the albino grab him some every now and then. Guy's basically an intern for all the dumb shit he keeps getting sent out for. At least he gets paid."
"Then lets go!" she chirped.
"Lady, you are way too happy about this," Eddie pointed out.
Just Down the Street
The short walk from the office was chaotic. For all the disadvantages imps seemed to possess compared to other demons on the hierarchy – including, but not limited to, easily smooshed bodies – the smaller hellions took concerning liberties with their own lives, and with the lives of others. It seemed very few possessed any form of survival instinct or self-preservation instinct, at least those in the Pride Ring.
And that disposition was all over Imp City.
Just walking to get ice cream had Madelyn noting a number of ran red lights, soliciting, vandalism, and not least of all… jay walking. There were even some "fireworks" going off in the background noise, and even a glimpse or two of demons in alleys shooting up with whatever constituted as drugs in Hell. At least there weren't vending machines of the stuff on every street corner like there was in Pentagram City.
"Fisting Robin?" Mayberry asked as she winced at the crude sign. It was but one of many terms she'd learned in her time down here, despite being an educator. Not to mention that the inside was an abominable pink and brown color, a combination that had even someone of Madelyn's disposition cringing; and she'd committed lobotomy with a shotgun. "They actually serve ice cream here?"
Eddie shrugged, his scales prickling on alert as they walked. "Well, either the original owners are down here, or the guy who ripped them off was possibly a fan of 'How I Met Your Mother'. Either way really."
She nodded so-so in begrudging agreement. Fair she supposed.
Quietly walking up to the diner-like establishment, they pushed through the door with a bell chime, only to step back as some imp and her little shit pushed rudely passed them.
"BUT MOOOOM!" the little shit yelled out. "IT'S THE WRONG FLAVOR!"
The imp mother just sighed as she they continued walking. "You said that about the last four flavors."
"BUT I WAN' IT NOW!"
Whatever else was said was lost to garbling and the natural city sounds.
"Jesus H. Christ," Eddie blinked out. "I know I was a shit and an asshole, but I was never that bad. Or picky." He stopped to think about it for a moment. "At least to my mom anyway," he quickly amended.
Madelyn just let her eye twitch it's course. "I forget that not all children are sweet little angels," she sighed despondently.
Eddie just looked at her funny. "Lady, I hate to tell you, but there's no such thing."
They quietly entered into the ice cream shop, immediately greeted by a droll tone.
"Hello, and welcome to Fisting Robin," some random demon in an overly pink apron and vendor hat greeted in devastatingly bored voice. "Try our lovely assortment of flavors like Styxian Mint, Hardcore Habanero, and voted our number one, favorite flavor of all time, Glob' a' Blue."
Madelyn quirked an eye, turning to observe someone else who had said less-than frozen confection. Another demon prepared to lick his ice cream, only for the blue goo to rear up in a silent roar, leaping from its cone to latch violently onto the demon's face. The screams were therapeutic at least.
"You guys have bubblegum?" Eddie asked, all but sticking his face across the display case glass to the assortment of flavors presented below, reptilian eyes blinking curiously.
The vendor reared back, releasing a heavy sigh, as though being asked a question was exhausting. "Yeah. We do."
"Two scoops of that!" Eddie called out. His excitement was visible, though greatly restrained, as though living in Hell had tempered much of his childish enthusiasm.
"Any particular way you want it served?" the vendor continued, bordering on annoyance.
Eddie's twin forked tongues lifted his lip to sleek across his teeth as he looked at the options. He gingerly looked back at Madelyn, only to receive an encouraging nod. "A… large roach cone. Stat."
The vendor just heaved another sigh before moving. "Fffine. Coming right up." He shivered as instinct clawed its way around his throat. Shakily, he turned around, only to find billowing hair and a cold demeanor that stared down at him, as though he were little more than an insect beneath her hooves.
"And if you do anything extra to it, you'll find out what it's like to hang by your intestines," Madelyn stated with a glare, more a stern and murderous governess than a chipper schoolteacher.
Gulping, the vendor nodded rapidly, moving much quicker than he had beforehand, very much aware of the deadly furrow following him around.
"Huh. So you did learn something," Eddie commented, looking up in intrigue at his current babysitter.
Madelyn just shrugged, crossing her arms as she continued to vigilantly moniter the vendor prepare the child's treat. He even added an extra scoop of ice cream. How thoughtful. "Almost been roofied twice since I came down here," she answered bitterly. "Not to mention some nutless sack of shit tried jacking off over one of my food orders. You get real cautious after that."
Eddie only hummed in response. "I've been locked up the whole time cause the Albino says that I'd have demons trying ta kill me just by talking to them. Something about naturally pissing everyone off when I open my mouth." He just shrugged it off as though it were an afterthought.
Whatever response she had was interrupted as the demon over the counter held out a trembling, heaping ice cream cone. The little sinner happily snatched it up, both his tongues gently savoring the treat.
"Now, how much do I owe you?" Madelyn asked, pulling out her purse.
"N-Nothing," the vendor trembled. "I-It's on the h-house."
"Awww, well aren't you just a dear," she drew out in her Southern drawl, sweet as iced tea. He flinched as she gently pinched his cheek. "Thank youuu."
The vendor only gulped, nodding rapidly at her change in demeanor.
"Alrighty then," she chirped like Mary Fucking Poppins as she made to leave, "come along Eddie."
Despite his brief moment of terror, the vendor took a moment to subtly look down, eyeing how fitted her ass looked in her skirt as she walked away, her tail swaying with a natural, sinful enticement behind her. He had only just started conjuring some decrepit fantasy before the child sinner purposefully stepped in his line of sight.
One brow quirked unimpressed, Eddie just smirked at the guy before the skin of his face pealed back, exposing his skull and the muscles within around his face, his tongues writhing like tentacles and his lower jaw splitting open like a snake's.
The vendor shrieked like a little bitch prompting Eddie's face to slurch back together, his critical eye unchanged.
"Pussy," he snorted, returning to licking at his ice cream as he followed his would-be babysitter. It even had the little bubblegum chunks in it. Or at least, that had better be bubblegum.
"What was that about?" Madelyn asked as they exited the building.
"Just some creep," Eddie stated nonchalantly. He'd dealt with all that shit before with his mom, when she wasn't bringing them directly home.
The walk back was just as "exciting" as it was from the I.M.P. building. While not entirely unpleasant, it was still Hell.
"M-Madelyn?"
Madelyn Mayberry froze in her step with a sharp click of her hoof, eyes widening in recognition. Eddie paused too, barely saving his ice cream from getting smooshed before he could run into her. "Hey! Da fuq?! You can't just stop suddenly like that!"
Mayberry ignored – or rather, didn't comprehend – what he said, instead slowly turning around with a shuddered breath. Her yellow pupils shrank, the red-shot surrounding it almost throbbing in her head as her heart began to beat audibly in her ears.
Standing there, scratching the back of its head was another demon. He was barely taller than she was, flesh colored an artery purple, and thin as a rail. The standard red sclera of sinners covered his eyes. He had shoeless, lizard-like feet, standard demon claws, and goatish ears. He was dressed like he'd seen better days: ripped and torn flannel jacket, with equally devastated jean overalls. The most notable feature was the metallic, almost scale-like beads that seemed implanted in his face.
She suddenly grabbed Eddie by his free hand and began marching away, dragging her charge with her. "Nope!"
The demon reached out hastily. "W-Wait! Madelyn!"
"Wait! Another creep?!" Eddie exclaimed. He grumbled further when he couldn't get his feet under him, and just let them drag behind as Misses Mayberry hauled him onward. Shrugging, he just continued to eat his ice cream, even as dead weight. She was on the march
"Maddie! Wait up!"
At that, Madelyn stopped, her hair flaring with barely contained rage. Her eyes turned to wrath-filled slits as her forked tongue hissed out.
SPLAT!
Her face morphed into one of confusion as she turned to see the demon now sporting an ice cream cone on his forehead, like he was a fucking unicorn. Slowly, the bubblegum flavor began to slide down his face.
"Great. That'll be fifty souls," Eddie stated seriously, hand held out in a 'gimme' gesture.
The demon blinked before his eyes narrowed dangerously on the little sinner. "What the Hell? You have a death wish kid?" He stepped toward the kid threateningly, only to hop back as the business end of a knife was pointed at him.
"You touch him you cheatin' bastard, and I'll give ya's a personal ticket to whatever comes after Hell," Madelyn hissed lowly, keeping her personal purse blade pointed directly at his chest. Her hair fringes pointed threateningly at him.
"Watch where you're pointing that, Maddie. You could hurt someone with that," the demon stated condescendingly.
"That's the idea. Gerald," she snarled.
Eddie looked back and forth between the two of them. "Wait… you know this creep? Who the fuck is this?"
"I'm her husband," the demon – read: Gerald – stated matter-of-factly.
PFFT!
Gerald's eyes narrowed as he looked down at a snorting Eddie. "That's your husband?! And I thought the imps were a few pages short of a full comic book!"
"Ex-husband," she corrected, practically spitting venom. "''Til death do us part' and all that. Well guess what? You died, I died. Marriage over! End of story. And even if I hadn't put a bunch 'uh buckshot in yur skull, I'd have divorced yur bitch-fuckin', home-loungin', ten-squares-per-wiping ass!
"Speakin' of which, I should probably switch back to my maiden name," she noted quietly.
He raised his hands gently. "Now Maddie, it wasn't like that," he tried tersely.
"Which one? Because I can recall instances of all of those, and more!" she stated heatedly. "I have eyes you dickless piece of shit. Especially when my last good memory of you was your head splattered over our bedroom wall after you were balls deep inside the bitch!"
"We'd only done it once," he tried.
"Bullshit it was!" She wasn't stupid. "Only once my ass! I'm sure if you hike yur "sorry" ass back to Pentagram City, you can find yur "only once" again in that whore!"
"Martha's down here?" It was clear he had some… thoughts… about that.
Madelyn just scoffed. She hated him. Loathed him with a passion. Their entire marriage a pile of lies. And the worst part was, Martha probably wasn't the first time he'd cheated on her, and even if she hadn't found out, that bitch wouldn't have been the last.
Assuming of course that he didn't end up as cannibal fodder. "I don't have time for this. Just beat it! Before what miniscule mercy I have left takes a hike!"
He rolled his eyes at her, as if she was being over-dramatic before his attention turned to Eddie in a more intrigued capacity. "And who is this supposed to be?"
"Nunya," Eddie stated.
"Nunya?" Gerald asked.
"Nunya business," Eddie answered with a shit-eating smirk.
Madelyn could suddenly understand why Snow had kept him indoors and away from other demons. She had this little itch at the back of her skull to kill him herself all of a sudden.
Gerald looked at Eddie. Looked at Madelyn. Looked at Eddie. Looked at Madelyn. Eddie. Madelyn. Eddie… Madelyn.
His eyes suddenly widened.
"Oh fuck. Is he… ours?" Gerald asked breathlessly.
"OH FUCK NO!"
Eddie and Madelyn whipped to each other, and their impromptu simultaneous chorus.
Madelyn pinched between her eyes with a sigh. "No he's not. Just… go away, Gerald."
"But… what about us?" he asked.
"There's literally no way in Hell we're getting back together," she stated. Despite how much she reviled him, she'd already spent the better part of her anger killing him and hiring I.M.P. to kill Martha. She was moving on. She had moved on. "We've been over far longer than our marriage ever was, Gerald. Just leave it at that."
She didn't even have enough care left to look sorry. Any more than he did about his contribution in matters anyway. She'd done her bit, and now she was in Hell for the rest of eternity for it. No sense in escalating matters.
"But–"
"Dude, take a hint!" Eddie said in his scratchy voice. "The lady said to blow off! Are you that dense?! Unless you're so pathetic, you can't even boil water, you don't need her! There's plenty of hookers around! They'll do anything for fifty Souls!"
A nearby hooker on a street corner grew stiff at his words, bitterly 'hmph'ing before walking away with a bitter purse to her lips, and the click of her overly pumped high heels.
"Bitch," Eddie commented as he watched her walk away.
"Sooo… you don't want to stay together?" he asked in an almost pleading tone.
Madelyn stood up straight, and looked him directly in the eye. "No Gerald. Not now, not ever."
"Well… that makes things easier… I guess," Gerald whispered, his face almost splitting with the smile that cut across it.
Before either of them could blink, Madelyn was snatched by the throat and Eddie was backhanded into a wall, a pair of hateful eyes glowing resentfully at her. "I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING! AND YOU SPIT IN MY FACE!"
"R-uuun," she croaked out, realizing she had dropped her knife somewhere.
Madelyn wheezed as she tried to breathe, already seeing black spots dance around her vision. Rather than attempt to remove his tightening grip, she aimed for his face, trying to reach anything that would make him stop.
And when her arms came up short, she tried kicking him, nailing him right in the shin. Growling, he lifted her up before slamming her down to the ground, knocking the wind out of her before straddling over her as he pinned her arms down with his knees. Both hands clenched around her neck as he began to squeeze, putting his full weight behind strangling her. "Just die already, you heartless bitch!" he snarled before smiling cruelly. "It shouldn't matter, right? You'll just come back. And we can try this again… and again… and again. Until you cooperate."
His mouth slithered down to her ear. "You. Are. MINE."
Every second was a little darker. Every moment a little weaker. In so little time, she couldn't even lift her arms to struggle. She wouldn't beg. Not that she could. But it didn't stop the pain-filled tears from pooling at the corners of her eyes. It wouldn't be long now. What did reforming feel like? Was it as painful, or painless, as dying?
RRRAAAAAGHH!
Sucking in a choked breath as her airway suddenly opened back up, half-curling up as she coughed on fresh Hell air. The weight was gone from her body, and allowed for full, trembling breaths.
"You… dirty… varmit!"
Blearily peaking up, Madelyn was surprised to find Eddie latched mouth-first onto Gerald's arm, doing his best to shake back and forth like a worm despite being suspended with no leverage. Despite that, his lower jaws were individually rotating, like fingers adjusting their grip as he clamped down.
Gerald was trying to shake him off, and when that failed, tried prying his jaws open.
"Let go!"
"Fugg, ouu!" Eddie muffled back, his mouth kinda full, only to receive a fist to his face.
He clenched tighter, wincing his eyes closed as Gerald's fist rained blows on his face, trying to remove him by force. He quivered in anticipation of each blow, half afraid to breathe as he continued clamped down as hard as he could. His hands and feet didn't remain idle, latching on claw for claw as though his life depended on it.
He didn't know why he was fighting back, when he should be running. She'd said to run. He was just another denizen of Hell, just like the rest of them. They were all "born" sick down here, doomed to embody their most sinful qualities. She wasn't anything special… unless you counted that she was nice.
Disturbed as fuck, but… kind.
Just like those two married weirdos' that were all lovey-dovey half the time. Even the Albino was sorta kind in his own way; more like a bullying older brother than anything. Even the bitch had her – very, very rare – moments. And their boss was just… yeeeaaah, the less said, the better.
Eddie's snout took another hit, causing him to cry out and let go on reflex as tears finally spilled out of his eyes, along with blood from his nose.
"Fucking Hell," Gerald growled in a normal voice, unable to hold his more demonic tones, examining the bleeding fang marks that almost chewed through his arm. He looked down at the two of them, snarling his rage before a cruel, deep chuckle escaped his throat. "Why? Why is it you always make things so… difficult? Every fucking time. You can never just do as yur told."
Half dragging herself, half crawling over to Eddie's sniffling and shaking body, Madelyn gave him the stink eye.
"Shhh," she whispered softly, pulling the little sinner close, gently stroking his horns. "It's alright. It's okay." Though his next comment made her ears twitch.
"You didn't even want kids," he ranted. "It was always what you wanted. All about YOU." His smile turned a desperate kind of cruel. "Maybe I should thank whoever killed you up there. It means we can try again. We can be a family. A real family."
As he reached out to her, she slapped his hand away, a betrayed look crossing his face. Like she had gutted him. And after that entire glock 'n shpiel.
"Are you fucking high?!" she snapped, not wanting him anywhere near her. Much less in a romantic sense, ever again. "Contrary to what you think you know, I know you were out with whatever you could wet your dick in!
"Whenever we had sex, you chose to wear a condom! It was always "I'm not feeling up for it", or "not tonight", or always picking the days you knew I wouldn't conceive. And despite everything, I still wanted a family with you!" she sniffed. She hated him. She hated him so much! "I knew, even then, you didn't give a shit! But I wanted to believe we could work it all out. As long as I didn't catch you, as long as I pretended to be ignorant, I could pretend to be happy. We might eventually make it to the same page."
She glared at him something fierce. "I wanted children, Gerald! And if you hadn't been with all those whores, we might have had them!"
"And there you go again, always. Blaming. Me!" he snapped out, and Madelyn honestly didn't know how to respond, too confused by what exactly he meant. "It was always about you! You! You! And even in Hell, that never. Changed!"
He paused suddenly, as though he'd come to an epiphany, his eyes widening as he looked at her in betrayal. "There's someone else. Isn't there?" he demanded quietly.
"And if there is? It's none of your business!" she snapped, far too quickly. Madelyn couldn't help but think of a particular human-like demon. Even in the limited time she knew him, his blue eyes were just so kind, so full. He was witty, and occasionally funny. Just looking at him made her body stir things she hadn't felt in so long; things like longing, desire, hot and bothered, a want to be satisfied. Even if it was all more of an infatuation than anything else.
He was beautiful; a particular set of traits she found desirable in their basest form, with the potential for more if they tested the waters together.
But it wasn't lost on her that he hadn't shown any interest in her. That's what he was to her: kind. Which she supposed, down in Hell, was enough.
"Ugh!" The lump in her lap groaned, as Eddie shifted slightly. "Can we not talk about the Albino and all the schoolgirl blushing?!"
"Cheating bitch!" Gerald snarled, even if Hitler was technically shooting himself in the head with that statement. He marched forward, seemingly ready to pick up where he left off just moments ago.
Eddie was suddenly alert in her lap, his eyes slitting behind the puffy swollen bruising that was his face. And in that moment, he could only think the worst.
She was going to die. She might come back, reform, just like he was told sinners did. But not before that sicko did whatever he wanted to her. Or whatever was left of her.
He started to breathe heavily, panting in sheer panic as far too many insidious and vile thoughts began to cloud his judgement. Every dark deed. Every evil fantasy. Every decrepit action. Thoughts that should, as a whole, have been beyond the range of a mere child.
That kind, smiling face blotted out by screams and tears and blood.
All to protect him.
MAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
The adults clutched at their heads, their skulls reverberating as the sound penetrated their ears, drawing blood from their lobes without him even needing to touch them.
His face had ripped open, like some violent cross between a frilled lizard and a flower around his exposed skull, blood pooling in the tears at the edge of his muscle and flesh as the skin peeled back too far too fast as he shrieked all bloody murder. The size of a half-pint, his claws grew crueler, the spines of his back longer and bristled, his horns jagged, his eyes turning bright and pupilless. His scale-flesh grew pricklier, thorn-like spines growing out of each scale. His tongues lulled in his mouth, almost weaving like serpents as his open mouth released the most horrid sound ever heard.
Nails on a chalk board would have been kinder. A nuclear klaxon would have been more hopeful. A keening wail more comforting.
And all the while his peeled face vibrated like a hand resting against the windowsill of a moving vehicle.
With a rush forward, Eddie snatched up something from the ground, blitzing in a roundabout manner as he tried to blindside him. As he leaped at him, only to get caught by a longer, stronger hand.
"Heh. Nice try kid," Gerald growled, smiling darkly despite the clear bleeding from his ear knobs. "But you ain't shit down here– GAAAAH!"
The slushy end of a half-eaten ice cream cone was unceremoniously thrown into his eye, causing him to grasp at it in pain. Before either of them could fully recover, Madelyn was plunging her dropped blade into his side before grabbing Eddie's hand.
"Run!" she commanded, already half-dragging him before the little sinner found his footing this time. This wasn't about fighting. It was about escaping.
So that's what they did….
(Currently)
"…And I don't know if he knows where I'm staying," Madelyn stated, looking more tired and haggard than she had that morning. "Or what that bastard thinks my relationship with I.M.P. is."
"Is that everything?" Snow asked, his hand busy relaying a soft golden glow through her own. The gentle ping of magic echoing throughout her form, like an echolocation for every wound. And just like that, his mana slowly ebbed into her, healing in miniscule increments so she didn't notice the itch it would cause.
"I think so," she answered, looking down at the cup of coffee she had been given.
Snow was silent for the most part as he listened. While he knew it was a distinct possibility, he hadn't expected it to happen so soon. Or to devolve so quickly.
He "stole" her hellphone, inputting his number in and saving it under "I.M.P., Snow". "If he shows up at your place at all, call me. Worst-case-scenario, it'll save me the trouble of tracking him down myself."
She smiled weakly at him. "Not exactly how I was wanting to get your number," she admitted softly, gently laughing at her own words.
He laughed a little, still smiling that soft smile. It was disappointing, and yet reassuring, that it was just as kind as it had always been. Except when she smoked. He'd give her Hell if he caught her smoking in the office.
Snow moved on to Eddie, taking a look at his face to see it had healed for the most part. "You did good, kid," he stated affirmingly, brushing a hand between his horns as he magically checked for any more serious wounds, causing the little sinner to shudder from the sensation. "Just try not to be a pain in the ass in the future."
"Gee, thanks," Eddie lipped weakly, not even rising to take the bait. Though he wasn't going to admit that he liked having his horns rubbed. 'NO I DON'T!'
Snow's ear twitched, causing his head to raise in alert as his gaze turned toward the door, neck hair erect. Both Madelyn and Eddie followed his state, Maddie wetting her lips nervously as her hand searched blindly for a weapon. Eddie shrank back, using Snow as a demon shield.
The throaty growl that left his throat left Madelyn shivering, in more ways that one: excitement, desire… and fear. There was always a healthy dose of fear when he was present; much as one might fear the lowing growl of a dog, and the promise of teeth that would it might bring. A very human fear.
But no. This fear was different. Scathing, maybe? As though she had no choice but to be deathly afraid; semi-immortal sinner and all.
'Ugh!' she moaned internally. 'I'm soundin' like one of those cheap gas station romance novels.'
Snn. Snn-snn? Snnnnn!
He sniffed carefully before visibly relaxing, just before–
BANG!
"Aaand! We're back bitches!" Blitz hollered out as he kicked in the door. "Did you miss us?"
He walked in to see Snow giving him a deadpan stare while Madelyn held an angry purse, and Eddie peaked out from behind Snow's back. "Gee… tough crowd." But he was soon back to his old chipper self as he led the way for the rest of the crew.
Millie and Moxxie each gave him weak smiles of their own. And Loona, to his annoyance, seemed to make a habit of purposefully ignoring him.
Was it a little juvenile? Probably. But he wasn't exactly the paragon of intimate relationships, especially in Hell.
"How you feel about upping the security on this place?" Snow asked, strangely firm and to-the-point.
"Why?! Who broke in?!" Blitz demanded, suddenly dragging Snow down by the lapels of his coat to meet him eye-to-eye. Getting a brief flash of eyes from an irate Leucistic, he nervously let go. Especially after all the literal fireworks he'd seen him use.
"Seems someone's ex was snooping around," he answered.
"Wait, seriously? We talking about the one person you actually managed to shoot properly?" Blitz asked.
Madelyn couldn't help but hiss as her hair coiled angrily. "Yes," she grounded out.
"You met him?" Millie hopped around excitedly. "What dija do?"
Madelyn looked a little self-conscious. "I… might have stabbed him," she admitted, "after he started talking nonsense."
"I bit him," Eddie supplied.
"Oh!" Millie cooed, scooping Eddie up and spinning him around in excitement before hugging a stunned Mayberry. "Yur first bleedin'! Oh, we gotta celebrate!" There was no denying the sheer joy on her face.
"First things first, if he breaks in looking for any sign of Madelyn, and figure out what you got hidden away…," Snow stated pointedly.
"Uh-huh," Blitz nodded dumbly, as if expecting more.
"…A particular item from a particular bird…," Snow continued, like he was talking to the slow.
"Yeah."
"For fucks sake," Loona snarled. "He's talking about your bag of dick's book! Friggin' dumbass." She went right back to her phone.
"It does warrant some thought as to what would happen to you. Or more specifically, your ass!" Snow added, with an appreciative glance at the hellhound. "And not in the fun way either!" It was worth pointing out.
"That… would be… bad," Blitz simplified with a look of consideration on his face. "Fine! I'll get a safe or something!" He looked over at Madelyn with all the grandiose he could muster. "But if your ex-shitbag comes waltzing in here, you're paying for damages! Moxxie needs something to do if the door gets busted."
"Say what?" Moxxie inquired, halfway to his wife and their lodger.
"Fffine," she grounded out, barely keeping her cool. The boss just irked her in all the wrong ways.
"Good. Now, we've all had a long fucking day," Blitz declared. "Between finding out that Great White over here can do magic, and that he's a wanted criminal in disguise, papa needs his beauty sleep and maybe a few drinks to completely purge that shit. And fast, before it becomes permanently locked down."
"Huh?" Madelyn stated.
Eddie blinked for a moment. "That would explain the glow show." However, he just shrugged indifferently. "Still doesn't change anything though. He's still a spackled bastard."
"Literally right here," Snow mumbled under his breath, before snapping his finger, causing Eddie to yelp from sudden static shock. "And now that the cat is out of the bag, I can do shit like that. Whatever. I'll see you guys tomorrow." He dismissed himself with a wave, already heading for the door.
Loona eyed him from her peripherals with a tight expression on her face, not paying full attention to her phone. "Night," she barely breathed.
The only sign he heard her was the brief half-step before he disappeared out the door.
It was quiet for a moment, but it was but a temporary reprieve at I.M.P.
"Sooo… we are paying her… right? For the babysitting?" Moxxie gestured vaguely toward Madelyn.
"Oh, God damnit Moxxie!"
Interlude 2: Resolution (Several Days After the Events of "Loo-Loo Land")
"I swear, it was right here," the imp stated in desperate confusion, looking around the office.
"Did you check your–" Millie started.
"I checked my pockets, I checked my bags, I checked the office, I checked the van," Moxxie listed off pre-emptively. "As stupid as it was, I even checked the eel tank and the bathroom. I know I packed it. Eddie, have you seen it?"
Eddie just looked up from the couch, shrugging nonchalantly. Moxxie sighed in dejection.
Blitz groaned as he dragged a hand down his face. "How the fuck do you lose a whole fucking minigun case, Moxxie? That's like… big."
"Thank you! For clearing that up, sir!" Moxxie snapped in frustration.
"Jesus, who got your thong in a twist?" Blitz grumbled, sighing as he took a drink from his mug. "Just hurry it up. We got business, and I'm not gonna wait all day for you to find your toy." They had people to kill after all.
The front door opened, Snow hobbling in as he hauled a large crate with Moxxie's name hanging on a tag, doing his best not to drag it on the floor, or slam it against the door jam. "Mox! I think I found something of yours!"
Moxxie rushed over, looking at his case. "What? How? Where?"
"Found it in the elevator," he answered, setting it down. Moxxie quickly put it on it's side, flipped the clips holding it closed, then opened it. Snow stared at the weapon with a blink. "Moxxie, why do we need a minigun?"
Blitz exasperated out a sigh. "Because we're gonna need to mow down the security our next target has." He got a sly little smirk as he cozied up to the leucistic. "Unless… you wanna just turn into a walking flamethrower?"
Snow quirked an eye. "Am I getting a raise?"
"Oh, fuck no," Blitz responded, as if that were completely ridiculous.
"Then not a chance. I'm not carrying this franchise." Blitz tried snagging his leg to beg, but found himself squashed face first in the ground as Snow sidestepped him.
"Ugh, fine! We got everything?" he asked bitterly as he hopped to his feet and brushed himself off.
"Yessiree!" Millie cheered happily.
"Ugh! Loona, could you…?" He gestured weakly at thin air, eliciting a sigh from the hellhound. Silently, she pulled up the grimoire, opening to the page she'd dogeared, and with an almost bored wave of her hand, a portal manifested.
"Thanks, sweetie! Alright gang, let's rock n' roll!" Blitz called out before almost diving through the other side.
"That's our que," Millie stated, hauling up a couple of bags and the minigun before following, Moxxie in tow with his own bags.
Snow brought up the end. He hesitated at the hazy wormhole, turning back to look at Loona. As had been the norm between them the past few days, she almost seemed to be pointedly ignoring him, muzzle-deep in her phone.
In a weird way, he missed her. Somehow, she'd become a point of light to him in this otherwise all-encompassing cesspit. Somewhere over the last few months, her company had become something of a weirdly sexually-charged, teacher-student-peer friendship to him. And it was sooo confusing sometimes; like he didn't know whether to bump her shoulder with his own and a friendly smile, or pin her against her desk and mate the ever-living fuck out of her; or worse, some gentle, intimate in-between of the former two.
She was easily one of his oddest companionships, if you didn't count the rest of I.M.P., or the fact that he talked to his sword and his motorcycle… and they responded in their own way. And it had been an odd and awkward experience since they'd returned from that horror-show of an abusement park. Suffice to say, their meetups and training had been put on hold.
But, the ball was in her court. The space was hers to do with it what she wanted within reason. She'd never had a problem talking before, so when she was ready, she would.
Letting out a resigned breath, he turned to fade through the portal before blinking as it suddenly snapped shut, narrowly missing his nose. He turned back to see Loona staring at him, paws propped up on her desk and phone forgotten as she raised a challenging brow at him. "Uh, Loona… I kinda need that open."
Snorting, she lowered her legs and pushed out of her seat. "Nope."
He sighed, brushing a hand across his face in exasperation. Or they could do this now. "This couldn't have waited until after work?"
"Nope," she answered again, gently swaying forward. "I finally got you alone, so we're talking."
EHEM!
They both turned to see Eddie looking between the two of them with disgust. "Just thought I'd remind you guys I'm here, and I don't have earplugs. Just in case you two decide to makeup with R-rated content."
~I'ma bitch, I'ma boss
I'ma a bitch and boss, I'ma shine like gloss
I'ma bitch, I'ma boss
I'ma a bitch and boss, I'ma shine like gloss~
"Sonuva bitch!" Loona cursed, looking around her desk for the phone she just had.
"Looks like your dad's calling."
She whipped around to see Snow holding up her phone with a smug little grin on his face. With a snarl, she snatched it out of his hand before answering it before the ringtone could continue. "WHAT?!"
"Loony, where's Baking Soda? He didn't show up through the portal."
"Oops," she commented sarcastically. "I'm stealing him for the day."
"That's not how this works. These assholes aren't gonna kill themselves, and Sword n' Sorcery over there is a part of that."
"You took a fucking minigun with you. Figure it out Blitz!" she bit back, quickly hanging up. "God, that's annoying."
She turned back to see Snow smirking playfully at her. "So… stealing me, huh?"
"Hmm?" She looked confused for a moment before she seized, her face alighting. "N-NO! Not like that!"
"Oh God," Eddie croaked out in disgust, letting his horns plop back against the couch.
Fur bristled and growling irritably in a one-eighty, she glared back at Snow. "Listen asshole! We're gonna talk! We're gonna clear the air! And it's going to stop being so goddamned awkward! Got it?!"
Snow just quirked an unimpressed brow at her, even as his eye twitched. "Nah."
The silence was palpable for several seconds before she blinked. "Say what?"
"Don't feel like it," he commented, raising his hands behind his head. "We could have talked at any time. Hell, my routine hasn't even changed. But you still chose literally as I was heading out on assignment. You know… that thing I do so I can pay the bills and shit?"
He leveled a stern mask of impassivity at her. "I may find you extremely attractive, sexually frustrating, and frequently pleasant to be around… but I'm not a convenience toy, or a door mat." Leaning closer, a little of his mana flared in his eyes. "So as your teacher, your co-worker, and someone you've been actively avoiding… you could have started by asking if we could talk afterward. Or aren't you afraid I'm gonna… how did you put it? Oh right. "Snap" and kill a bunch of demons?" He couldn't help but bitterly enforce his presence in the air around them, stifling it with his power.
Eddie gaped in shock, jaw practically hanging on the floor as he went from hearing to watching the action. "Holy shit. I'd kill for some popcorn right now."
And like always, ruin the effect the moment was supposed to have.
Grumbling to himself, Snow wiped his face in frustration before sparing a glance at his opposite. Her… insecure-… fear-… whatever-fueled anger… was replaced by a stiffer front as she shuffled nervously on her feet. While it wasn't the dynamic he wanted, he'd settle for a start in the right direction.
With a heavy sigh he pocketed his hands in his trench coat. "Damage's already been done. Now that you've been reprimanded like a naughty pup, do wanna do this now? Or do you wanna try again later?"
He ignored the disappointed, "Man!", that Eddie sent their way.
She didn't speak for a moment before gingerly looking up. "Do… do you still want to? Talk I mean?"
"I was never opposed to it," he stated reassuringly. "I just don't like being talked down to." He took a deep, calming breath before meeting her eye. "Loona, you can literally tell me anything – including to fuck off – as long as you keep it respectful. I'm not gonna get mad over something like that.
"And unlike your dad, I'm not gonna let you walk all over me. I've already dealt with shit like that, and I'm neither gonna tolerate it, nor enable it where my own interests are concerned."
Again, she was quiet. It was unsettling really, how quickly she'd gone from demanding to barely a whisper.
"Can I pick the place?" she asked with uncharacteristic timidness.
He smiled softly. "If that makes you more comfortable."
"Cool. Cool," she muttered, gently running her fingers through her hair. "Is… is now okay?"
Snow rolled his eyes good-naturedly at her. "You already kidnapped me. Might as well." He looked over at the little sinner, who waited and watched patiently for his own amusement. "You good for a couple hours, kid?"
"Do I have a choice?" Eddie asked rhetorically, waving them off for a second before he did a double take. "You know–"
"Three Abyssal Darks, and a cappuccino," Snow offered instantly. "I know Millie doesn't like you having caffeine, buuut…."
Eddie snout twitched before he grumbled. "Fffine! I won't tattle."
Snow perked up, all sunny rays on his face. "Good." He looked back to Loona before gesturing to the door. "Shall we?"
As they took the elevator down, Snow kept her peripherally in his senses, constantly aware of how nervous she was. Cutting passed her bullshit and pissed off attitude, it was a little worrying considering Hell would capitalize on it. He didn't mind the bullshit, honest; he just didn't like being on receiving the inconsistent end of it.
Once they were out of the building and on the street, Snow veered off, causing Loona to pause as he went along the side of the building to the parking lot.
"I figured it was someplace out of walking distance," he explained, before shrugging. "We can take my bike if you're up for it?"
She nodded so-so. "Blitz won't like that."
"Since when do you care what you're dad thinks?" Smirking, he snapped a finger, Stryx's engine revving to life on its own. "Besides, I won't tell if you don't."
She looked at the bike. Then looked at him. Then back and forth.
Finally, a smile emerged on her face. Gently. Almost humored, as she walked up next to him. "Do I get to drive it too?"
His deadpan could have cracked concrete. "You're funny. Real funny." Swinging a leg over the seat, he stiffened slightly when he felt her follow almost immediately, her arm snaking smoothly around his stomach.
"And no helmets?"
"Never had a passenger," he stated, clearly never wearing one himself.
"Fine, but I still have to guide you there," she stated, leaning into his back.
He had to take a deep breath, almost self-conscious of every scar that her cheek started to rest against. Even though he had a thick-ass trench coat, he nervously pondered if she could feel the bumps and divots that lined his back. The heat was both a sting and a balm.
"Dude… you good?" she asked, her head peaking up from behind his shoulder.
"Yeah. Yeah," he answered slowly, finally clearing his head enough to take off.
Navigation wasn't a problem at least. While otherwise quiet – even though he could sense the smug contentment she had while riding – Loona's directions were concise and precise, which was all that Snow could ask for in a navigator. Thankfully, traffic attempts to run them onto the sidewalk were… minimal.
"Turn into that parking lot," Loona instructed after some time.
Snow wasn't really all that surprised to see that Loona had chosen a bar. Neither was it surprising to see a bunch of other hellhounds talking in the lot; especially since they seemed to be a biker gang. In fact, Snow just suspended his surprise, because he couldn't really find a reason to be.
"Jax?" he asked as he pulled into an empty space.
"Yep. Great bar and grill." She hopped off, leading the way. "And the best part is, hellhound friendly."
'But is it gonna be 'me' friendly?' It didn't matter. He could suck it up.
Snow's neck bristled as they passed by the biker's, each of them sniffing before simultaneously whipping around to look directly at him. Small snarls and growls rumbled in their overly muscled chests, and Snow couldn't help but feel like he was a walking into the lion's (read: wolf's) den.
As soon as they approached the door, they were met by a burlier 'hound that vaguely resembled a German Shepard, bouncing the front door as he eyed the newcomers. One ear looked like it had been mauled off, and his face was a catalogue of scratch scars. He greeted her with a fond enough smile. "Loona, how ya doin'?"
"I'm doing, Rex," she answered.
Quirking an eye, the bigger hound eyed Snow up critically. "So who's the pale-ass bitch? Not your boyfriend, I hope. Too skinny."
Before she could answer, Snow stepped forward. "No. Co-worker, instructor, and occasional flirt," he stated seriously.
Growling, Rex leaned in closer. "Don't think I've ever seen your kind before. Too… human-like."
'Racist,' Snow deadpanned. "Not my go-to, but I prefer a certain level of anonymity," he stated simply.
"Hmm," he rumbled out thoughtfully before sniffing. Immediately his eyes narrowed, his teeth bared, his fur bristled, and a snarl exited his mouth. "And just what are you?"
"He's with me," Loona interjected nervously, stepping in between the two of them. "He's cool, Rex. Just chill out."
He growled and sniffed again, clearly not happy with something, but not arguing with her either. "Don't know about that. Smells like dinner."
"I shower, thank you," Snow commented, but wasn't all that surprised by the reaction. It was… familiar at least. To think, he'd spent so long around Loona, that he forgot this was the norm with hellhounds.
Another growl before cleared his nose with a nasally huff. "Leave your weapons outside. He fucks up, he's your responsibility, Loona."
She chuckled nervously at the uncharacteristic hostility being shown to Snow. "Yeah… cool." She gave Snow a wince of apology, but he waved it off.
Before anyone could react, Snow had unsheathed and plunged his blade into the sidewalk. Not a single crack appeared in the concrete, smooth and seamless, as though he had merely stabbed butter. "Lock it down Caz," he ordered, to which the blade hummed in acknowledgement.
"Show off," Loona muttered, pushing him forward from behind before they could get interrupted again.
The bar was loud. Being the morning, it wasn't particularly crowded, but as a consequence, their arrival was met with standard brief glances to the newcomers that turned into stares, and subsequently, intrigued silence.
"Well shit," he muttered, just as Loona pushed past him.
"What's up?! Guess who's back?!" she called out cheerily, earning several greetings from the patrons by name.
Snow shuffled awkwardly as Loona grabbed him by the hand, dragging him toward the bar counter. Again, sniffs, growls, and glares followed him.
"Loona," the bartender greeted cordially as he cleaned a rocks glass, another big, burly wolfish hellhound, dark red fur fringed with greying. He was older, sharper, and his eyes bored into Snow with an intensity that left him feeling as though he were being stripped like the layers of an onion. "Who's your friend?"
She practically hopped onto a stool with all the excitement of a kid who'd caught a turtle. "Jax, this is Snow. Snow, this is Jax. We all call him 'Pops' though."
"Snow, huh? Odd name," Jax commented.
Snow shrugged, but couldn't help the nagging feeling at the back of his skull. "Thanks. You can thank Loona for that one. She named me."
"Yur mama didn't name you proper?" Jax inquired, setting his glass down.
Snow's brow furrowed darkly. "It wasn't her decision."
Humming, the elder hellhound noted the bar's residents all growling at Snow, like he was the fox that cantered into the dog kennel. "That's enough! We've got a guest! So all you mutts behave!"
Begrudgingly, the growls died down, even if the stares didn't.
"What's up with them?" Loona inquired in confusion.
"They can smell me Loona," Snow stated simply, yet it explained very little. "If anything, you're the weird one for not being hostile."
"Huh?" She was cute when she was befuddled.
"Yur friend's a very interesting demon," Jax smirked. "Can't properly land what kind, but he seems tasty enough. He smells like prey.
"And dangerous," the older 'hound finished, his eyes glowing softly with intrigue.
Loona nodded carefully in understanding. She'd noticed that when she'd smelled his blood. How his very essence screamed of prey and predator. It still did.
Smiling, Snow took a seat next to her. "It's a nice bar. It's rare to see an establishment ran by hellhounds."
Jax snorted. "That it is. Place for some of the young'uns to gather. Let 'hounds be 'hounds and all that. As long as they behave and follow the rules, they have a home here." He turned to look at Loona though. "Surprised though. Never had Loona bring anyone before. While we're not exclusive, we don't get many other demons either."
He smirked slightly at the younger hellhound. "Especially from this pup here."
She grumbled back rebelliously. "Regretting it now."
"Why? She as much trouble here as at work?" Snow asked, a shit-eating grin on his face.
"Hey!"
Jax just nodded with a smirk of his own. "That she is. You wouldn't believe how hard it was to get her interacting with any 'hounds her age."
Snow's smile turned a little sad. "Yeah, actually. I can."
The older hellhound's eyes seemed to widen and sharpen in one breath. "Interesting." He hummed to himself in thought as he looked back and forth between them before he turned around toward the liquor. "You kids hankering for somethin'?"
"Whiskey," Loona answered instantly.
"Soju if you got it," Snow inquired.
"Never had someone ask for soju before," Jax stated. "'Fraid not though. Got some sake if yur not picky. Best I got if yur looking for the imported stuff."
"That'll work," Snow agreed with a knowing glint, a two fifty-Soul bills sliding across the counter. "Not exactly easy to get Earth-ware into Hell past customs."
With a chuckle and acceptance of the money, Jax turned to Loona with a conspiring tone to his voice. "I like him. Keep 'im around, 'ey."
Loona just rolled her eyes at the older hellhound as he began fixing their drinks, finally letting them land on Snow. While he was still mostly tense, he'd settled down a lot. Leaning on the counter she turned her full attention toward him.
"So here I was, thinking you were stunted as a hellhound," Snow commented with playful accusation.
She snorted back. "It took Jax months of convincing before I even came here. And I don't really have any friends." She smiled somewhat happily. "That, and I'd rather hang with you than with most of these mouth-breathers."
"FUCK YOU!" a voice called out. Hellhounds and their hearing.
"GET FLEAS YOU STUPID MUTT!" Loona snapped back reflexively. She sighed as Jax set their drinks down in front of them, a shooter for her, and a tumbler for Snow.
"So… to business I suppose," Snow commented between a drink, letting the taste of his drink wash over his tastebuds and encompass his sense of smell. He had to hold back a little titter of appreciation. "Where'd you want to start?"
And all at once, Loona's reluctance made itself known, hesitating before slamming back her whiskey. "I might need the bottle, Jax," she commented, and the older hellhound nodded, setting it in front of her.
It was another several moments before she spoke up. "Was what that robo-fuck said, true?" she managed. "You killed all those demons?"
"Yeah." Not an ounce of hesitation as he took a sip.
"Oh." There was very little she could say regarding that.
"Is that a problem?" he asked.
"I mean…." She paused, once again feeling something conflict within her.
"I'm not gonna make excuses about it," he stated simply, taking a drink. "It happened. And I wouldn't take it back, even if I could. I've killed countless others since then."
That did surprise her. And it must have showed.
"Soul for your thoughts?"
"I mean… I dunno…," she commented with a shrug. "I guess I just thought you were something special down here." She poured herself another drink before slamming that back too, looking somewhat dejected. "Turns out, you're just like everyone else."
"Ouch… I think?" He shrugged half-heartedly, taking another drink. "What made you think I was different?"
"Well, you didn't immediately try to get into my pants for one." As if that was unheard of. She wiggled her nose a little in thought. "Hell, you were half-respectful, and that's never happened before. You're funny enough. Powerful. Kick-ass. You let your actions do the talking. The only time you've demanded anything from me was in training.
"It was hard enough sometimes not to outright pin you down. Even though it's tempting sometimes."
"Ditto," he huffed back, a small smile through his drink. "So what's changed?"
A moment of thought later, she sighed. "Nothing really. I just know a little more about you. And it's terrifying to think you can be that guy."
A sad smile crossed his lips. "I'm not a good man, Loona. I try to be, but it's Hell. No excuses, it just is."
She turned to look at him, almost scared, almost sad. Something in between. "Then how am I supposed to trust you? You killed kids, Snow. I don't even like kids, but just thinking about it makes my skin crawl."
His eyes closed as he took a deep, calming breath. Mostly to gently diffuse the vivid images and the dead silence-encompassed darkness those questions drew up. "Here's the thing Loona. I'm gonna say something, and unfortunately, you're not gonna like it."
"O-kay?"
"I'm never not going to keep secrets from you," he stated, swirling the empty glass as though he were in thought. He raised a hand to cut her off before she protested. "For one, when it comes to everyone's childhood trauma, demons very rarely give a shit. We just make due, and hope it doesn't paralyze us when we attempt to carve out a little piece of Hell for ourselves."
"Two, my secrets keep me alive." He looked at her drolly. "And unless it becomes life-and-death for me, or some dumb accident happens, I ain't spilling. Hell, probably even then. I keep this on…," he gestured to his full human disguise, "…for a reason. I'm always going to have something you don't know about me. It's not about being mysterious; it's about my safety."
She frowned, but had to admit, he had a point. No one aired their dirty laundry, because anyone could use it against you. 'And anyone who genuinely doesn't down here is as good as friggin' blessed metal,' she noted. For that matter, she considered herself fortunate then. She had Blitz, Jax, and even if she hadn't told him, she knew Snow had an idea of her bullshit. That scared her a little; but he didn't lord it over her.
And Snow had bird-dick and Octane.
"I can respect that," she sighed out, nursing at her whiskey. The least she could do was stop giving him grief. "I don't like it. But I can respect it."
He smiled again, this time more genuinely. "We cool then?"
Loona let out a heavy sigh. "Do I have a choice?"
"Of course," he answered straight. "It just makes trying to teach you difficult if you don't show up to practice."
Allowed herself a brief moment of genuine care, she whispered, "I do want to trust you Snow. And I want you to trust me. Weird as either of those are."
"Not weird," he corrected. "And I'd like to think we'll get there. Pending time and trial."
Just when she thought his smile couldn't get any more beautiful (because no other word came close), he suddenly had one on his face. Not smug, or arrogant, or sad, or glowing, or bright. Just… full.
"Well, they're weird for me," she shot back, face heating up. To cover up, she slammed back another gulp of whiskey. "Come on. We did the talking. Now for the drinking."
"So we just drink?" he asked, looking down at his drink. Shrugging, he gulped down another, shivering at the warmth that was beginning to pool in his stomach. Far be it from him to understand what demons did for fun.
"If you can keep up," she challenged, turning toward the bartender. "Pops! Refill! Keep 'em coming!"
Sometime later...
Snow inhaled sharply, blinking with a groan as he woke from a dead stupor. His head was already pounding. 'Goddamn! I keep forgetting to hydrate!'
GUG!
Rolling over, he found himself falling onto a vaguely familiar concrete floor with a weak groan. Another sharp inhale, and he blinked the blur from his eyes, staring at the front of his couch. Pushing himself up, he realized he'd taken a snooze in his makeshift living room.
His new place had virtually no aesthetic appeal. Between the boiler, plumbing, and ventilation systems that ran throughout it all; on top of the occasional concrete foundation and cheap ply sections of wall… it wasn't all that bad. He'd been able to modify it and had a nice space to go with it; including the makeshift living room, kitchen, and bathroom.
Plus work was a hop, a skip, and a debilitating elevator ride away.
Crack!
He stretched, a high-noted groan squeaking out his nose, before a smidge of relaxation entered his body. He fucking hated sleeping on the couch. A quick look around revealed that his coat and sword were on the coffee table next to him and… 'Shit. I left my boots on.'
He was going to need to vacuum the couch now. Might explain why his feet felt suffocated too.
Blinking now that his brain got its daily dose of sulfur, he could actually think. "Why was I on the couch?"
Stretching again, he opened the door to his room, eyes narrowing on the large lump that was gently rising and falling under the quilted covers. Nose sniffing curiously, his eyes twinkled as a soft smile emerged. Humming, he moved to sit on the edge of the bed, looking down near-peaceful look on Loona's face.
Chittering at her adorableness, he leaned forward, bunting his nose against her own. "Wakey-wakey beautiful. Rise and shine."
"MMMMmmm! Feck off," she groaned out, forcefully pushing his face away as she tried to roll over. Even out of it, her brows furrowed as her brain tried to catch up with the waking world.
Her eyes bolted open, sitting up like a shot, head darting in panic. Snow's smiling face greeted her. "Morning. You sleep good?"
Hastily, her hand reached under the covers, feeling between her legs before coming away completely dry. And not sticky. And clothed. Confusion marred her features as she looked at her host. "We're at your place?"
"Yep."
She nodded slowly in understanding. "We… didn't have sex?"
"Unless I somehow migrated over to the couch and denied myself a good snuggle on my own bed, then no," he answered, yawning softly. Like a dick. Because now she was yawning. "You decent?"
"My clothes are still on, if that's what you mean," she answered, though she did pull the strap of her top back onto her shoulder from where it had slid down. Rubbing her eyes, her maw opened in another long, drawn-out yawn, her tongue curling from the effort. "Sooo… what now?"
"I dunno," Snow shrugged back, before smiling. "We could always go grab breakfast. Take it easy for the morning until the hang-over wears off."
She snorted, but it didn't stop her from smiling back as she pulled her knees to her chest and laid her head on them. "Light-weight," she teased before throwing the covers off as she swung off the bed. "Sure. Breakfast sounds good."
"Cool. It's a date," he commented as he walked toward the door.
Her face flushed at that, quickly getting up to follow. It wasn't until they made it to the ground-floor that she noticed something. "Wait. So you live in the basement of the I.M.P. office building?"
"Hey, it was cheap, it's nice and snug underground, and it gave me a few projects to do after work," he protested, opening the door so they could go back out for the second time in less than twenty-four hours.
"At least you're accessible. And Blitz doesn't know about it?"
"If he did, do you think I'd get any sleep? Ever? I'd have to booby-trap my place to make sure he didn't try recording me while I sleep."
"Fair," she admitted as they walked their way down the street. She frowned though. "Why do I feel like we're forgetting something?"
"Eh. If you forgot it probably wasn't important."
"Yeah, probably," she admitted. Besides, after a comfy nights sleep on his admittedly soft bed (and it smelled just like him), breakfast sounded more important.
…
Meanwhile, in the human world…
Once more his phone call went to voicemail. "Whoever's calling, fuck off!"
Growling in irritation, Blitz threw his phone onto one of the motel bed they'd (narrowly) rented for the evening. "Fucking ay, Loony! We need that portal!"
"Oh c'mon Blitz, it's not that bad," Millie chippered up, drying her hair with a towel. "Just think of it like a vacation."
"We did the job, burned all traces, and we're in the clear," Moxxie stated from one of the beds. "At least the front desk just thought we were part of some sort of cosplay convention."
"Ugh! Fine!" Blitz growled. His hand brushed over a crusty spot on the unwashed blankets, sending a shiver rippling through his body. "OH! Fucking gross! Next time, I choose the place we stay!"
AAAAAAAAAAAAH!
The shriek caused Blitz to whip around to see Moxxie screaming and pointing like a little bitch. And who could blame him. There was a giant-ass cockroach skittering across the floor.
"Oh really! A literal! Fucking! Roach motel!"
Someone was going to die when they got back to Hell.
…
Meanwhile, at I.M.P. Office…
Eddie blinked as he stared at the ceiling, reclined on the office couch.
"Those bastards forgot me, didn't they?"
Author's Note: Don't forget to READ and REVIEW! ^^
Nice little transition piece.
I'd started writing Madelyn and Eddie's side-part of the story before I'd posted the last chapter. It was a bit harder to get down what I wanted, but I managed. Somehow.
For some reason, the intersection of Hell and ice cream just... appeals to me. And Glob' a' Blue makes a return cameo.
And we finally get to meet Gerald. While he's a far-cry from what he was on Earth, I gave him the traits that I thoughbest fit his more demonic character now that he's in Hell.
A little touchup on Eddie's abilities as he achieves full-on demon form.
The "safe" bit is a reference to the safe that showed up in the Episode: "Seeing Stars".
The second part was an attempt to mend Snow and Loona's weirdness around each other before we get into "Spring Broken".
I obviously don't own the sampler of Loona's ringtone, "Boss Bitch" by Doja Cat.
Snow laying down the line was an impromptu decision. He isn't one to take unnecessary shit, and he'd rather be real with Loona, which requires a no-bullshit exchange, which is tougher if she's snapping at him the whole time. 95% of anger is a secondary emotion, used to cover up any other emotion that can leave people feeling vulnerable (i.e. fear, humiliation, inadequacy, trauma, etcetera), which is usually as a resounding echo of some past experience with those things. Usually a purely limbic response.
"You can tell me anything, as long as you say it respectfully" is a stance I picked up from one of the men in my life I look up to. And I stand by this.
Jax was an interesting idea I came up with, and I just kind of let it evolve as I wrote. While I had other ideas for the chapter, I think every piece I needed out of it was presented well enough. From how hellhounds' react to Snow, to Loona's own involvement with the establishment. I wanted more out of what went down, but decided to save it for later chapters.
Of course, then there's Snow's living arrangements. This was also something I wanted to bring up before we continued onward, especially since I think I had made passing reference to it a couple times. So... yeah. He lives in the basement of the building where the I.M.P. office is stationed. Which would also explain how he had access to the water and electricity moniters so I.M.P. got more showers.
Both the I.M.P. assassins and Eddie were completely forgotten XD
Heads-up: Next chapter will get right into "Spring Broken". This one is exciting for me, because this Episode has one of the scenes that inspired me to write this story. It's gonna be intense (for me anyway), and I can't wait to share it!