Written and Directed by: Full Paragon
Produced by: The Grand Cogitator
Brought to you by: Jose Cuervo. Seeing things that aren't there? Drink enough Tequila, and you sure will!
Chapter 11: Wolf On The Run
Komekko ran out into the courtyard, Vanir hot on her heels, though to everyone else it appeared she was carrying him over her shoulder. "Hi Lord Tyrion! Did you bring me some dinners?"
"I'm afraid not, Lady Stark," the little man chuckled, accepting a hand from one of the guards to aid him in dismounting.
"Aww. What about my big brother? Is he OK?" Komekko asked eagerly.
"Jon Snow was hale when I left him," Tyrion agreed, giving Komekko a nod and one of those grown up looks.
Wrinkling her nose, Komekko frowned at Tyrion. "Do they not have enough food? I'll make sure mommy sends more with the next tithe: We have extra 'cause so many people went with daddy and Megumin and Yunyun and Robb."
"Komekko, let Lord Tyrion catch his breath at least," her mother ordered, walking over. She gave a slight bow. "Welcome back to Winterfell, my lord. I trust your sojourn to the Wall was enlightening?"
"It was," Tyrion agreed. He looked to Komekko and smiled. "I do have something for you, young lady, even if I would encourage you not to eat it. Jyck, if you would?"
One of Tyrion's men reached into a saddlebag, and pulled out several brightly colored objects, which were handed over to Komekko and Rickon.
"What is it?" Kommeko asked curiously, turning the small object over in her hands. It was fuzzy, as if covered in fur, and was yellow and brown, with an animal head of some sort on one end and a point on the other.
"It's a 'giraffe pen'. I traded for it from one of the Black Brothers as a curiosity. It writes quite well, better than a quill and ink, but it's so absurd looking I can't think what it might be aside from a child's plaything. They said it's from 'Wiz's Shop and Sundries,' whatever that is."
"Did moi hear correctly?" Vanir said, perking up. "Mistress, inquire if he is certain about this shop's name, and if the keeper becomes poorer the harder she works."
"Vanir wants to know if you know who Wiz is, and if she's poor," Komekko said.
"I don't rightly know," Tyrion confessed. "The shop is supposedly run by a wilding witch of some sort beyond the wall, which I did not care to venture to."
"Hmm, fascinating, moi had not suspected moi's old business partner was still unalive, nor that she trode upon this world," Vanir mused, taking the pen and examining it. "This does appear to be the sort of useless trinket she would sell, however."
"Please, the hospitality of Winterfell is yours, Lord Tyrion. Stay as long as you like," Catelyn offered, smiling at their guest as Rickon giggled and ran about with his new toy.
"Thank you. Our journey was not overly taxing, but I would rest a day or two before departing once more. Have you word of your husband's party?" Tyrion inquired.
Catelyn hesitated, but then smiled and nodded. "He and your family have arrived safely in King's Landing; we had a raven naught but a day ago."
"Ah, good to hear. It will be a long journey back to King's Landing, but I feel much the wiser for having seen the end of the world. Lady Stark, if you would, a word in private?" Tyrion asked.
"Of course. We can speak in my husband's solar." With that, mommy and the dwarf walked off, but Komekko frowned. Tyrion had used the grown up voice when talking about Jon. Maybe he was hurt. Lowering her voice, Komekko spoke in a whisper.
"Vanir, go listen, I want to know what Tyrion says about my big brother. See if he says anything about Wiz. I think I knew her, right?"
"She was one of your generals when you first rose to power as the Devil Queen of Belzerg, yes. Dear Wiz has the same silly obsession that you do, mistress, in that she ever seeks to preserve mortal life. Why, moi does not know; they shall die in a few decades anyway, what of it if they perish a bit sooner?"
"Vanir, be good. I know you don't like being mean, you're just being silly," Komekko said, giving her familiar an exasperated look.
"It is true; moi tragically has gained a semblance of morality in the millenia bonded to thee," Vanir agreed. "However, as moi also acquired a reason to continue to exist, moi supposes it was a worthy trade off. Fear not, mistress, moi shall convey the words of thy mother and the lustful man who is ever faithful to a woman long dead to you."
"Thanks! I'm gonna go see if I can find some snacks."
Komekko wandered off, but before long she heard a voice in her ear, that of her mother and Tyrion as they spoke.
"Lady Stark, what do you know of the Others?" Tyrion's voice asked.
"Ah. Did you hear tales from the Black Brothers?" her mother responded.
"I did. I had thought them nought but fairy tales, but...here."
"He has produced a jar of vile liquid with a zombie's hand within," Vanir explained. "It yet twitches and moves, though the magic will not linger long away from the Great Barrier to the north."
"What's a zombie?" Komekko whispered, craftily sneaking towards an unguarded platter of freshly baked bread.
"An undead. Here I believe they call them 'others' mistress. They are weak, nothing to trouble thyself over. Ah, they continue."
Mommy spoke again as Komekko snagged two loaves and booked it from the kitchen even as Turnip yelled and tried to grab her. "I once thought as you did, Lord Tyrion. I was a Southron myself when I first came north with my lord husband. Now, I am not so certain. Benjen Stark speaks of them as though they are quite real, and that the Wall is all that protects the realms of men from the dead rising throughout the Seven Kingdoms."
"But this is madness!" Tyrion declared. "How does every lord not know of this? The wall was barely manned! They are understrength, in desperate need of supplies and more bodies! And something queer was in those woods, my lady. I saw...I do not know. Only that it glowed with an eerie, pale light in the dimness of dusk."
"Because it is far from home. It is near 200 leagues to Moat Cailin from Winterfell. Almost twice that to the Wall. The others are far away; a burden for the North, if they are even real. If people in the south fret, it is over Harrenhall and what stirs in the Gods Eye and the Blighted Isle, or perhaps the dead that roam Dorn yet."
"Then it is well my nephew weds a Northern lady. This is perhaps a more terrible threat even than the restless dead of Harrenhal or monstrous rotting fish," Tyrion said grimly. "I shall see to it that this is brought before the King, and your husband. Something stirs beyond the Wall. Your husband's brother went to seek out this 'Wiz.' She is a sorceress of some sort, ancient and terrible. But the Watch seems to fear an inclusion of monsters out of legend."
Having escaped Turnip, Komekko sat atop the roof of the kitchen and gnawed on her bread, listening.
"You believe this to be true?" Catelyn asked, worried.
"I do. I bear letters from Ser Jeor Mormont, to the king and your lord husband. He fears dire times will come this winter. And even The Long Summer cannot last forever."
"Perhaps I am too much a Stark now, or perhaps it is the child I bear, but I think now of the Stark words: Winter is Coming, Lord Tyrion. If what you say is true...perhaps my husband should not have gone south. But…"
"You are with child? That is good news! Is it known yet?" Tyrion asked.
"Yes; I knew not long after my husband departed. It is likely I shall bear another child in his absence, for I must remain here in Winterfell. This one shall be a son, we shall call him Bran."
"You see quite certain," Tyrion said, his tone amused.
"Yes. But for my sons born and unborn...Travel swiftly, Lord Tyrion. Perhaps it would not be well for you to linger overlong here in Winterfell."
"No. I shall stay only a few days, long enough for our horses to rest. I must say, I never thought to receive such a warm welcome from the Starks; our houses have long held little love for one another."
"That was before my daughter was to wed your nephew. And before your sister and I shared a bottle of wine in commiseration for their misdeeds."
"Some would think it a match arranged by the goddesses themselves," Tyrion chuckled. "Are you well, my lady? You seem pale."
"Just...perhaps you are more right than you know, Lord Tyrion," Catelyn laughed, though her mirth had a strange quality to it.
"You know, Cersei always said Kazuma was born under signs from the Goddesses. I have heard the same about your daughters. Who knows? Perhaps this was their grand conspiracy to aid us mortals in forgetting our feud."
"He is correct, by the way, mistress. I told you I detected that meddlesome goddess here not long ago," Vanir commented.
"Hmm. Vanir, come here. I got some thinking to do," Komekko ordered.
There was a puff of sulphurous smoke, and Komekko let out a heavy sigh. "You weren't supposed to use magic, Vanir. You know what maester Luwin says about magic."
"Mistress, moi cannot help moi's nature," Vanir chuckled, taking a seat on the roof. "What are thy thoughts?"
"I think Jon's in trouble," Komekko pronounced, picking crumbs off her dress and popping them into her mouth. "We're gonna go rescue him."
"Of course, mistress," Vanir agreed. "Perhaps we shall have a chance to drop in to visit Wiz?"
"Is she nice? I think I remember her being nice," Komekko mused, scratching at her head.
"Most beings do tend to be fond of Wiz, save the fouler sorts. She was a close companion to thee for many lifetimes," Vanir dutifully informed.
"Great! Then we'll go after we get some dinners to bring with us," Komekko said, hopping down off the roof. It was a far enough drop she should have broken both of her legs, but Komekko was fuzzy on just how durable most people were, and thus didn't realize she was drawing on a great deal of magic to stick the landing.
It wasn't that easy, of course. Tyrion left after a couple days, and Komekko kept accidentally eating all the food she hoarded. Then, she hit upon a brilliant scheme, and stole a cooking pot and everything else Vanir said was needed to prepare food on the road.
"Hoost will catch us dinners, won't you Hoost?" Komekko asked her pet.
The dire wolf thumped his tale on the ground and gave Komekko a doggy grin, which made her laugh and hug him.
"We'll go tonight!" Komekko decided. She had a vague idea that running away from home was bad, but she really was worried about Jon. She carefully wrote a note to her mother and set it on her bed, explaining that she was going to make sure her Big Bro Jon was OK and that the zombies were not going to eat everyone. Vanir had to help her with some of the spelling, but the funny pen really was pretty nice to write with.
Then, she snuck out of her room. She did have to use a little magic, and felt bad that Fat Tom would probably get in trouble for her casting Sleep on him while he was guarding the poston gate, but she resolved to give him some dinners when she got back to make it all better.
Then, Hoost got big, and Vanir got small, and Komekko hopped up on her wolf's back, and they rode off towards Castle Black in the dim light of the twilight that passed for a summer night. Hoost, being a demigod, was tireless, and could have run the entire way to Castle Black which was Very Far.
However, his mistress was decidedly not tireless, and after a while Hoost moved into the woods, depositing Komekko in a hollow and tucking her into the blanket they had brought. Komekko snuggled up next to Vanir and fell asleep as Hoost went to procure some game for his mistress.
"Well well well. What have we got here, Stiv?"
Komekko blinked bleary eyes and sat up to find two filthy men crouched over her.
"Hi, do you have food? I'm hungry," Komekko yawned, smacking her lips.
"Hungry, she says, Wallen. And here we ain't had nothin' to eat since we robbed that holdfast two days back," the man Komekko figured was Stiv chuckled.
"Mistress, these men mean to violate you, then murder you," Vanir informed her.
"That's bad. You're not supposed to kill people," Komekko said, frowning at the men.
"Who are you to tell us what to do, girl?" Wallen growled.
Both men jerked back as Komekko jumped up, striking a pose just as her Big Sis had taught her. "BEHOLD! I AM KOMEKKO! CUTEST LITTLE SISTER OF THE HOUSE OF STARK! And if you're bad, I'll steal your dinners and give you spankings!"
"What's this then?" a new voice called, and a tall woman strode out of the trees, frowning at the two men. "What are you two crows up to?"
"Piss off, Osha, we found the brat," Stiv snarled. He looked down at Komekko, frowning. "Was just going to bugger her and kill her, but if she's a Stark…"
"They already want us dead, but if we take her, she's a hostage," Wallen chuckled. "And we can bugger her as much as we want."
"She is a child. Leave her," Osha ordered, raising a large spear.
"Or what?" Stiv sneered. "There's two of us and one of you. Take her first, Wallen. I'll keep an eye on the wilding bitch."
Wallen raised a hand to grab Komekko, who jerked back, feeling, for the first time in her life, real terror. She was, after all, really seven years old, and despite her terrible powers, this smelly, crude man scared her. "Vanir!"
To Wallen's point of view, a man simply appeared before him, wearing a mask and with a terrifying glow in his eyes. He had just enough time to realize he had made a terrible mistake, and to feel utter despair. The deserter from the Night's Watch didn't even have a chance to fully comprehend that, perhaps, there were more terrifying things than Others in the wide world. Then, Vanir snapped his fingers, and the earth rose about Wallen and consumed him utterly.
Komekko sat down, weeping, as Vanir turned to regard Osha, who had frozen, her spear through Stiv's guts.
"What of the women, mistress? She seems to mean thee no ill will," Vanir mused.
"I don't know!" Komekko wailed. "I want to go home! I want my mommy!"
"What...what are you?" Osha gasped, withdrawing her spear from Stiv as the man let out a death rattle and flopped to the ground.
"Ah! How rude of moi! I am Vanir, Duke of Hell, and Familiar to my Mistress Komekko of House Stark," Vanir declared with a sweeping bow. "Moi thanks you, o warrior who flees an enemy beyond her reckoning. Tell moi, has thou met Wiz, of Wiz's Shop and Sundries? She is a dear friend."
"You know the witch?" Osha gasped, taking half a step back again, her spear leveled at Vanir.
"Ah, moi sees you have indeed met Wiz; how peculiar," Vanir said, rubbing his chin. He glanced down at his mistress, who was still sobbing, and frowned. He was terrible with mortals, children in particular. "Moi sees that thou seeks a shelter from the brewing storm in the north. Very well: Moi shall make thee an offer, woman of the wild and free who seeks the safety of bondage. Comfort moi's mistress, for though moi possess great power, it is beyond moi's grasp to dry her tears."
Osha regarded Vanir warrily, but then looked to Komekko. "She is a Stark?'
"Indeed. The youngest female spawn of the Lord and Lady of that name," Vanir agreed.
Slowly, Osha set down her spear, then knelt and picked Komekko up, wrapping her in strong arms. The little girl clung to the spear wife, hiccuping and terrified.
"There, there, child, all is well."
"Mistress!"
A youth with skin the color of pitch and glowing amber eyes crashed out of the woods, wearing only dark furs about his waist. Osha jerked back, until Komekko looked up.
"H-hi, Hoost. I want to go home. I don't like running away anymore."
"Mistress, forgive me," Hoost said, kneeling and raising his hands in supplication. "I ran as quickly as I could when I sensed your peril. I have failed you."
"N-no, I'm OK. Vanir and this nice lady saved me," Komekko whimpered. "What's your name?"
"I am called Osha, Spearwife of Clan Cragfist. And...and the last of Clan Cragfist."
"This is Hoost. He's my doggy," Komekko sniffed.
Osha nearly dropped the girl in disgust. These kneelers. To refer to a servant as-and then she looked back, and found that instead of a man, a wolf the size of an Ice Bear was lying on the ground, whimpering.
"Thanks, Osha," Komekko said, resting her head on the wildling's shoulder. "Can you take me back home? I'm hungry, and I want my mommy."
"I...I shall do that," Osha agreed, feeling somewhat faint. It was true, what they said. Gods really did walk these southern lands. Perhaps she could be safe here.
"Ok. Vanir?"
"Yes, mistress?"
"Go find Jon, make sure he's OK. And look for Wiz too. Tell her I say hi, but I don't remember her 'cause I'm seven."
"Mistress! To depart from thy side-"
"It's OK. Hoost will keep me safe, and so will Osha. She's a nice lady, right?"
Osha looked to the strange god, who studied her for a moment before nodding. "Indeed. She is a kindly creature, if hurt. Serve the mistress well, mortal, and thou shall be rewarded. And indeed, if there be any shelter in this world, thou shall find it within her service. For she is Komekko, Devil Queen of Belzerg and the Seven Hells."
"Not no more, I'm just a little girl now. Daddy says," Komekko muttered, hiding her face in Osha's furs.
"As you say, mistress," Vanir agreed with a bow. "Moi shall return. Call only my name, and moi will be at thy side."
With that, Vanir turned and headed north, whistling a happy tune as he went.
Osha watched the god go, then looked down at the girl in her arms. She was sucking her thumb, and snoring. With a slow shake of her head, Osha looked to the wolf, who was sitting up, head cocked as he regarded Osha.
"Are you a god as well?" Osha asked.
The wolf let out a bark, then thumped his tail happily on the ground. Osha was not sure if that was a yes, or a no, but decided it would be best to treat the creature as though it were indeed a god. She picked up her spear, and started down the road, heading south.
She had not gone far before she saw dust, and heard the thunder of distant hooves. Her every instinct screamed to retreat into the woods, to take cover until the Southerners had passed, but she looked down at the girl in her arms, still asleep. If she was the bloodkin of Benjen Stark, she was important to these kneelers. And besides, she had a god with her. What good would steel and armor avail against such a creature?
And so, Osha simply stood, leaning on her spear and waiting as the riders approached.
"You there!" the lead rider, a weathered warrior with long white sideburns barked. "Stand and deliver, wildling!"
"Be at ease. I believe I have the child you seek," Osha called. "She has had a hard night. Two deserts of the Night's Watch accosted her. I and this... wolf, slew them. Fear not, she is hale; no harm came to her."
"Goddesses be praised," the warrior breathed, and jumped from his horse, hurrying over. Osha attempted to hand Komekko over, but she stirred and clung tightly to her.
"Lady Komemeko, are you well?" the man asked gently.
"I want my mommy, Ser Rodrick," Komekko whimpered.
"You shall have her. She is frantic with worry. What possessed you to run away?" Ser Rodrick sighed, then motioned to one of his men. "Give the lady and her bearer your horse, Alebelly. She may be a wildling, but she has brought our lady safely back to us."
"Keep your beast, Southerner," Osha said, eyeing the animal mistrustfully. "I have never ridden a horse; my own two feet are good enough for me. How far must we travel? I am fresh, and can run many miles yet today."
"We are but three leagues from Winterfell. By horse, less than an hour. I have seen you wildings run; it would take you about the same," Ser Rodrick replied.
"Then take my spear. I will carry the girl," Osha stated, adjusting Komekko in her arms.
Ser Rodrick took the spear, eyeing the wolf. "Her I expect this sort of thing from, but I had thought to find better sense in a wolf."
Hoost whimpered and looked down, and the old knight muttered something under his breath about "going mad as Lady Megumin" and remounted.
The next thing Komekko knew, she was back in Winterfell, and being taken in her weeping mother's arms.
"I'm sorry I was bad. I won't ever run away again," Komekko promised. "Can I have breakfast now?"
"I should send you to your rooms with naught but bread and water for a week!" Catelyn cried, half laughing as she did so. "You nearly frightened me to death, child. Come. Go with Ser Rodrick. He will find you something to eat."
Before she went though, Catelyn turned to Osha, who was standing awkwardly in the courtyard. Taking a deep breath, Catelyn stepped forward.
To her shock, the wildling dropped to her knees, bowing her head. She was a tall woman, and well built, even taller than Robb had been when last Catelyn had seen him.
"I offer you my service, high lady Stark," the wildling said. "I can do whatever you need: I've a strong back, and willing hands. I don't know your Southern ways, but I can learn."
Catelyn considered, then spoke. "I vow that you shall always have a place by my hearth, and meat and mead at my table. And I pledge to ask no service of you that might bring you dishonor. I swear it by the Old Gods and the New. Arise."
The wildling scrambled to her feet, looking confused, while the guards regarded their lady thoughtfully.
"You brought my daughter back to me, and from what I gather, at great personal risk to yourself. That spear is yours?"
"Aye. I was a spearwife," the woman agreed.
"Then take up your spear once more. What is your name?"
"Osha, high lady," the wildling said, hesitantly accepting her weapon from Alebelly.
"Then, Osha, I name you my daughter's shield. It seems she has need of one. May you ever ward her from danger."
The wilding blinked. "Didn't think you kneelers let women hold a spear. Er, sorry, high lady."
"No, it is quite alright," Catelyn laughed. "I will forgive much of someone who delivers me my daughter from the jaws of death. Come. I shall give you food, and a place to stay."
Dutifully, the spearwife followed Catelyn, but paused when the high lady did.
"I know it is much to ask, but...did my daughter have a doll with her? We cannot find Vanir anywhere."
"The god?" Osha asked, confused at the reference to a doll.
"God? No, he is a doll, a toy. I think my daughter may have lost him. He was her constant companion. It is silly, but…"
"He left, high lady. The mistress sent him to the wall to look after her brother."
"Did what now?" Catelyn asked, now frowning.
"The god. She sent him to the Wall," Osha said, pointing to the north. "To look after her brother and find the Witch."
Deciding the wilding was slightly mad, Catelyn only nodded, giving up the toy as lost. Later, she would recall the conversation, and wonder how she'd ever thought such a thing.
Cast of Characters
Komekko as; Actually a little girl
Vanir as; The God of Trolling
Hoost as; A Good Pupper is never late, nor is he early
Tyrion as; Everyone's fun uncle
Catlyn Stark as; About 180° from where she was in canon
Osha as; Sonja the Red
And the Cast of A Song of Ice and Fire as doomsday preppers