After what feels like miles of walking through the dark tunnels of Zuko's ship, we finally arrive at Zuko's room. The air is hot and thick, and my nerves make it hard to breathe. I feel the anxiety start to swell and do my best to quell it, to quiet it. I don't want to go. Zuko's words, long ago, it feels, rattle through my brain. I truly do not know what it means if Zhao discovers what I once was.
Zuko's protection may not feel like much, more like a chore than anything else, but he is protecting me. In a twisted sort of way. But I am protected.
As if sensing my anxiety, Iroh squeezes my shoulder before opening Zuko's door. I can hear Zuko say, "For the last time, I'm not playing the tsungi horn." Oh, how I wish this were as simple as music night.
"No, it's about our plans," Iroh starts, stepping into the room. "There is a bit of a problem." Zhao glares at me as he enters, and I creep into the room, trying to be as small a presence as possible.
"I'm taking your crew," Zhao says, no hesitation.
Zuko launches off the wall he was leaning against. "What?!" The heat in the room rises, as I feel the tension rolling of both Zhao and Zuko. My skin crawls and itches.
"I've recruited them for a little expedition to the North Pole."
My stomach drops. I don't know why I'm surprised. Zhao has been following the same paths as us, the same Avatar sightings. He has better resources, a faster ship, a bigger crew. Out of the two of them, I would feel so much better if it was Zuko that found Aang.
"Uncle, is that true?" Zuko asks.
"I'm afraid so. He's taking everyone-even the cook." There is no mention of our desired recruiting, for which I am glad.
"Sorry you won't be there to watch me capture the Avatar, but I can't have you getting in my way again," Zhao says.
I shoot forward, wanting to say that he's no match for the Avatar, that Zuko has been training, but Iroh holds up a hand to keep me at bay. He senses my outburst, my hatred, and soothes me with a look.
While Iroh can keep me from grabbing this man from behind, he cannot keep Zuko from growling and moving forward, ready to fight.
"No!" Iroh yells, holding Zuko in place as Zhao moves over to the dual swords on the wall. Zhao is silent as he examines and grabs a sword, swinging it one way and back again.
"I didn't know you were skilled with broadswords, Prince Zuko."
Zuko is silent too, as if he is horrified by these swords, or what they hold. He replies, "I'm not. They're antiques. Just decorative."
True, I've never seen them pulled down from the wall before, but there is a lie hidden within Zuko's words. Both Zhao and Zuko are locked in a dance again, an Agni Kai, tracing each other's steps, except, now, Zuko is more skilled than Zhao, though he doesn't know it. The circling technique isn't just good against airbenders, but any opponent. I hope Zuko remembers that if Zhao ever throws flames at him.
"Have you heard of the Blue Spirit, General Iroh?" Zhao asks, bringing a sword close to his face to inspect it. I can see our reflections in the smooth surface of the sword, and Zhao has angled it to see Zuko's eyes dart down to the floor. Away from Zhao. He is hiding something.
"Just rumors. I don't think he is real," Iroh says.
Something strikes in my mind, a sickness clouded in nightmares and sadness. A sickness saved by a blue masked spirit. A frog being shoved into my mouth. Something clicks into my mind, but I try hard not to grab Zuko's arm and demand answers like Zhao is doing. Once this conversation is over, I will say something.
"He's real, all right." Zhao moves forward, closer to Zuko to watch his expression. Zhao brandishes the sword, handing the sword to Iroh. "He's a criminal and an enemy of the Fire Nation. But I have a feeling justice will catch up to him soon." Zhao turns to leave, but my eyes are on the wariness in Zuko's face, the apprehension. "General Iroh, the offer to join my mission still stands. You are welcome to bring your concubine with you. If you change your mind."
Zhao closes the door with finality behind him.
I can't hold in my outburst any longer. "You gave me the toad!" I shout, pointing at Zuko. "You were the person I saw in my fever dream! It didn't make sense when you said I tried to punch you, but it was you!"
Iroh is confused, but shakes his head. Zuko glares at me. "Now is not the time to discuss this. I have to figure out a way to get to the North Pole with no crew and deal with someone Zhao thinks is a sex slave!"
"Come, Zia, we will leave Prince Zuko to his plans. We should see the crew off. They have enjoyed their time here with you. Zuko, you should join us as well."
"No. Let those traitorous bastards get their asses off my boat."
"They didn't have a choice, Zuko," I say, but Iroh starts to pull me away and out the door. I huff in frustration, at Zhao, at Zuko, at myself. At myself for not figuring things out sooner, but also how easy it was for my emotions to overcome me.
"After the crew leaves, we should head for a walk. It is a beautiful night out, and it would help to clear our minds," Iroh says, clasping my arm in his. "We can ruminate on what to do next, for Zuko is right. It will be difficult to travel to the North Pole without a full crew."
"Are you frustrated, too, Iroh?"
He is quiet for quite some time. Finally, just as we are about to exit to the deck, he says, "In a way, yes. Something always seems to come between Zuko and the Avatar. Zhao is just another step he has to overcome. However, I think Zuko will find another way to the North Pole. While I don't believe capturing the Avatar will restore Zuko's honor, I will follow him wherever he wishes to go."
I have no response, so I nod and open the door to see the crew gathered at the deck, ready to leave. Overall, it is a sad farewell. I have little words to say to anybody except for Jee, who hugs me and says, "Keep teaching him, kid. He has a lot to learn from you."
I want to laugh in his face, but I am quiet instead. "Thank you."
After everyone has left, Iroh looks out sadly at the retreating forms of people he has known for years. I clasp my hands behind my back, once again running full from frustration.
"Zia, I am going to see if Zuko wants to join us on our walk. You can wait here."
I nod, letting silence fill me while I poke at the frustration with my mind. I close my eyes for a moment, allowing the emotions to roll over me. When I open them, I think I see a figure down by the water. A quiet bird call just at the edge of my hearing. I step forward, leaning against the railing. The water is quietly lapping against the ship. I see nothing in the darkness.
After some time of staring out at the water, Iroh rejoins me. He shakes his head at my silent question. "He preferred to sit in the dark, wallowing in his anger." As if just noticing me leaning against the rail, he says, "What are you doing?"
"Oh. I thought I saw something in the water. It was nothing."
"Come. Let's enjoy the beautiful night."
We clasp hands and begin the trek up a close by mountain. We are both quiet, enjoying the crisp, cold air. We are close to the Northern Air Temple, and I think about the beauty that each temple held. I imagine they are destroyed, beyond repair due to the Fire Nation. While I was never good at construction, a good part of me wants to help rebuild these structures to the Air Nomads. To my past.
That journey is a long way away, considering I can't even get near a temple without airbending or a sky bison.
The tracks of wagons and beasts of burden line the dirt path. I admire the bridge work, the mountain, when the world is filled with an air-shattering boom!
Iroh turns sharply, and I turn as well. The smallest ship in the port has exploded and fire shoots toward the sky.
The smallest ship in the port is always us, the Fire Navy towering over us.
Our ship has exploded.
I am halfway there, outpacing Iroh, when I notice that I am running, running, running, as fast as I can without the wind to aid me.
Zuko is on the ship.
The fire is so high.
Oh, spirits.
Zuko is dead, dead, dead.
I collapse at the dock, shrapnel surrounding me, a teapot blackened, a Fire Nation flag smoldering.
Zuko is dead.
There is no way he could have survived that blast.
I let out a scream, a sob, tears spilling down my face.
Zuko is dead.