Hi, guys. I'm terribly sorry about the long, long wait, but it has not been an easy year, and this story was kind of put on the back burner. I hope you enjoy this chapter.
Kyle, the Pageant King.
Chapter 6
Kyle soon began to regret his win. If he thought that Sheila had been working him hard before this, it was nothing compared to what she was doing now.
She had held off on the pageants for the moment, as she and Tony were preparing him for the National circuit, which meant new, original routines, a different routine for every category.
Kyle had to practise them every day at home, doing it over and over again until Sheila was satisfied.
Each lesson was devoted to perfecting a new routine, with fifteen minutes set aside at the beginning to practice turns and smiling for the beauty section.
"Right, bubbe," said Sheila on the drive to Tony's, "you have a National coming up in two months, and we need to be more prepared than we were last time, which means you need to know your routines back to front."
Kyle only nodded, not really having a choice in the matter.
Once settled at Tony's, they immediately got to work. Sheila was very insistent that his smile be natural, and that Kyle be able to hold it for his allotted time on stage.
Kyle had to admit, he was getting better; the corners of his mouth didn't twitch so much any more, and his cheeks didn't ache. Of course, this was mainly down to the secret Tony had taught him, and a little trick Kyle had discovered.
Tony's secret was that when one's back was facing the judges, to just relax the smile by letting the mouth hang open, quickly replacing it before turning around. Kyle was surprised to find out that it worked; those few seconds of relief really helped his smile to stay put.
Kyle's own trick was to not let his teeth touch. He found that, more often than not, he would end up clenching his teeth, which in turn, made his smile look strained. So, he would keep his teeth just a tiny bit apart, barely a millimetre, to create the illusion of a natural, relaxed smile.
These two tricks did wonders for him, as Sheila heaped praise on him over and over again.
A few days before the pageant, Kings and Queens of America in South Carolina, Sheila took Kyle to the mall.
"Where are we going?" he asked, as he followed her.
"You'll see," was all she said.
Kyle couldn't help but hope that it was to the toy store, perhaps for a new game. Perhaps this was his mother's way of rewarding him for his hard work?
To his dismay, they stopped outside the beauty salon.
"Are – are you going to get your hair done?" he asked apprehensively.
"No, bubbe. You are. I've booked you in for a full treatment."
Kyle's eyes widened.
"Ma, no!" He could take being dressed up, made up, and paraded around like a show dog, but he drew the line at stepping into a beauty salon.
"Kyle, you need this," she told him. "All contestants have it; it'll be good for you to stand out."
"I've never had to have this done before, so why now?" he argued.
"Kyle, this is a Southern pageant, okay? Some of the contestants there have been doing this since they were babies; even the boys. We need to do everything we can to make the judges notice you, and that means doing this."
Kyle's protests were ignored, as Sheila pulled him inside the salon. There, he stared at the ground, beet red, while Sheila confirmed his appointment, and he was led over to a chair.
To his dismay, his hat was removed.
"What are you doing?" he asked, as the lady placed his treasured ushanka to one side.
"I'm just going to wash your hair," she smiled.
"Oh, no," he said, "I already wash it at home."
"Kyle, this is a special wash to get your hair soft and shiny," said his mother, settling down on the chair next to him. "All that hairspray will damage your hair overtime."
"Then stop using hairspray."
"I can't do that," Sheila said. "You can't do competitions like these with your natural hair."
"He's got lovely hair," smiled the hairdresser, playing with one of his curls, before getting to work.
Kyle could only sit there and pray no-one walked past and recognised him, as his hair was washed with several different lotions, before being dried and brushed. His hair didn't feel any different to him. As soon as he was allowed, he jammed his hat back onto his head.
He had thought that that was it, but he was led over to another chair. There was a lady sat behind a desk, which had a large light on the side. He realised what it was as soon as he sat down.
"Right, hands on the table, bubbe," said Sheila. Kyle, wishing that the floor would just open him up and swallow him, reluctantly placed his hands on the desk.
"What are you going to do?" he asked.
"I'm going to buff your nails, clean up the cuticles, get rid of any hangnails, and polish them."
"No polish!" he insisted.
"It's not that kind of polish," Sheila told him. "It's just something to make your nails look shiny."
Kyle could only groan and close his eyes as his hands were worked on. The sound of the nail file made him want to rip his teeth out. It seemed to go on forever, and when the lady was done, she rubbed his palms with a pumice stone, before following it up with a moisturiser.
"What's the occasion?" asked the lady. "Wedding? Hand model?" she grinned at Sheila.
"My bubbe does pageants, and we have a big one coming up."
It was clear from the look on the lady's face that she was not expecting that answer.
"Oh.. how nice," she said. "I didn't know they did pageants for boys. How long has he been doing them?"
"About six months."
"Ah."
He had thought he was done, but the next thing he knew, he was soaking his feet in a tub of warm, pleasant smelling water.
"What is this?" he asked.
"Bubble bath and Epsom salts," said the lady. "Just sit and relax."
When his feet were dry, again, his nails were trimmed and buffed, the hangnails were removed, and his feet were exfoliated and moisturised. He was actually squirming with embarrassment, and he hoped that would be it.
He and Sheila were then taken into the back room, where there was a table in the middle of the room. Kyle was then told to lie on the table.
He then had to lie there for almost an hour while the beautician rubbed various creams and moisturisers into his face.
When he was done, he left the salon as quickly as he could, hoping that he would never have to do that again. The total humiliation of it was enough to make him never want to leave the house again.
It wasn't the end, though; he now had to wash his face every morning and evening, and use cream. Exfoliating and moisturising, Sheila had called it. As much as he hated to admit it, his skin was feeling much smoother and softer.
Less than a week later, he was on a plane, heading to South Carolina. He wasn't too nervous; this was just another pageant. It didn't really matter if it was a National; all he could do was do his best, like he had been doing.
Tony was also with them, and, as usual, the pageant was being held at an old hotel.
However, as soon as they entered the lobby, Kyle knew this pageant was going to be different. This one made the other Nationals he had competed in look like small, local contests. It wasn't just contestants and their parents; it was entire families come to support them. Many of them were wearing T-shirts or badges with the pageant kid's photo on it.
Nobody seemed very friendly, Kyle thought, observing the kids, mainly little girls, standing there, their hair in curlers. Many of the adults were eyeing the other children, trying to suss out the main competition.
"This is the big leagues," Sheila said to him, once they had finally registered. "They take it very seriously here, so you really need to be on your toes."
Kyle sat on the twin bed, looking out at the window, while Sheila continued. "It's not just crowns and trophies you win here; you can win money. And some pageant offer cars, cruises, modelling contracts. A contract would be amazing. You'd like that, wouldn't you, bubbe? To be on the cover of a magazine?"
Kyle didn't answer as she happily prattled on, organising his clothes, and photographs.
"Ma, what categories are there?" he asked, turning around to look at her.
"Beauty, Talent, and Outfit of Choice," she said. "Your outfit is your sparkly tailcoat. We're getting some more costumes for that category, so you'll have to make do for now."
Kyle only nodded. "There's also the portfolio category; that's why I have your photos here. Oh, by the way, in about two weeks, we have another photo shoot; you need new photos."
Kyle only nodded again, breathing deeply and clenching his fists.
The next morning, Kyle, in his white tux and makeup, hair coiffed and sprayed to perfection, entered the grand ballroom. He had never seen such a crowded room. There were so many people that there weren't enough chairs, and lots of them had to stand.
As a rule, he never paid too much attention to the other contestants, but even he could see that these kids were at the top of their game. It was going to be extremely difficult to win, or even place.
"Right, Kyle, your age group is up next, are you ready?" asked Tony.
"Yep."
"Show me your smile," said Sheila, and Kyle obediently grinned up at her. "No, your pageant smile."
Kyle let his jaw drop, before settling into his 'pageant smile'; eyebrows ever so slightly raised, teeth barely touching, and Sheila nodded in approval.
It was almost time for his group, and so he lined up with the rest of the boys. "The way I see it, your main competition is him," Sheila pointed to an adorable little boy further up the line. "I watched him practise last night; he's amazing; he's what you should be like. Watch him."
Kyle watched as the boy stepped onto the stage. He had dimples, and fluffy golden-brown hair, and he was very playful on stage, flirting with the judges. Kyle sighed, sucking in his cheeks as he prepared to go onstage. He had his work cut out for him.
Sheila and Tony stood at the side, watching as Kyle did his beauty walk. Sheila smiled; Kyle was starting to look more comfortable and natural on stage; his smile didn't look forced, and he was good at making eye contact with the judges.
Kyle reached the end of the catwalk, and paused, taking his time to spot the judges, he blinked deeply as his smile deepened, another trick Tony had taught him, before turning. As he'd been working at it, it looked really natural, and it looked like he was happy to see them.
He paused with his back to the judges, and looked over his shoulder at them, before completing the turn.
"His smile's looking good," said Sheila.
"Yeah, he's gotten really good at holding it."
When Kyle had finished his routine, he left the stage and approached his mother.
"That was really good," she told him, and Kyle grinned.
"Thanks, Ma," he said, before a voice calling him caused him to turn.
"Hey, you were really good," said the little boy, who had been the first in their age group.
"Thanks; you were, too," said Kyle. "I'm Kyle, what's your name?"
"I'm Fred."
Grateful to have someone to talk to, Kyle and Fred chatted happily until they had to go back onstage for the group line-up. When that was over, Fred went and sat with his mother, and Kyle did the same.
It was rather a confusing weekend for Kyle; these people took pageants very seriously. The parents of the contestants' constantly fussed over them, making sure they looked absolutely perfect; a lot of parents would help the children by performing their routines behind the judges' table. Kids would practise in the halls only moments before going on stage. It all felt too much for him.
Sheila had begun mingling, trying to make friends; to Kyle's surprise, lots of people were very warm and friendly, and gladly accepted her.
He was glad that his only category for the first day was Beauty, and so he was able to relax. Like his mother, he'd made a few new friends; the kids were very eager to play. At that moment, he and three other little boys were sat on the floor, playing together on their phones, sharing tips and tricks to beat the bad guy.
After a while, they grew bored of sitting around, and went to explore.
"Wanna play hide-and-seek?" asked Archie.
"Okay," Kyle grinned.
"I'll be It!" Archie bounced excitedly. "Hotel only; no going outside!"
"Close your eyes and count to 100!" cried Kyle over his shoulder, as he Fred, and Tim took off running.
Being a hotel, there were several places to hide, and Kyle crouched down behind a large, potted fern. He peeked through the leaves as Archie ran through the lobby, looking left and right. He couldn't see where the others were.
"Found you!" cried Archie and Fred, looming over the plant. Kyle leapt up and joined them in searching for Tim.
They spent the rest of the afternoon playing various games; tag, more hide-and-seek, sardines, and generally just burning off all of their pent-up energy. Whatever they did, it was better than sitting in a chair for hours on end.
The following day, Kyle was back in his tux in the ballroom, onstage with the rest of his age group for the crowning ceremony. His talent routine had gone very well, with the audience practically exploding when he did his moves. His Outfit of Choice had been okay, but by now, both Kyle and Sheila knew that "okay" meant "no win."
In the end, he ended up winning "Prince," which wasn't bad, but it wasn't King.
So, that was now Kyle's life; if he wasn't preparing for a pageant, then he was travelling to one, or he was competing. If he wasn't doing those, then he was being fitted for costumes, posing for photos, and taking basketball lessons. He was soon exhausted.
"So, hopefully, pretty soon, we'll start winning the National and Supreme titles," Sheila was saying, on the way to yet another pageant. "Then our hard work will start paying off."
They had been doing Southern pageants almost exclusively, driving across several states in order to save money.
Kyle believed he was getting better, but he still never won anything outside his age group, and he honestly believed he never would. This was not good news for him, as Sheila recently mentioned her dream for him to win a National title in every State.
"How did I get myself into this?" he muttered, lying down in the back of the car for a much-needed nap.
The pageants had completely consumed Sheila; Kyle was now competing every single weekend. When there were no Nationals coming up, she had Kyle compete in small, local ones, much like when he first started out, "to keep him in practise," she'd said.
"You can't get sloppy," she said. "You need to be at your best, every single time."
"I am doing my best, Ma."
"I know, bubbe, but once we get that first win, then the others'll follow. So, we've got to work extra hard to get there."
They were in Denver, at a mini-National pageant, "Little Beauties of America," and the very small amount of boys, not just in his age group, but throughout the competition, gave Kyle hope that he would win.
However, Sheila was no longer content with Prince and King titles. Kyle didn't care either way, but Sheila was almost desperate for "National Beauty," or "Overall Photogenic Supreme," any high title that paid cash, really. Or a modelling contract.
As per usual for him, he won the King title, leaving Sheila unimpressed.
"I don't think I'll ever win big, Ma," he tried to placate her in the car on the way home.
"You will, if you just keep practising."
He said nothing, and they made the rest of the trip in silence.
"So, Sheila, where have you been?" asked Sharon, sipping on her coffee. The two of them were sat in Sheila's kitchen, while Kyle and Stan were upstairs, playing.
"Oh, my little Kyle and I have been very busy."
"Oh, really? Doing what?"
"Kyle's been doing beauty pageants."
Sharon almost choked on her tea.
"Beauty pageants?"
"Oh, yes; at first he wasn't too sure, but now he loves them, and they've done wonderful things for his self-esteem. He's won a fair few now, and he's so much more confident."
"Oh, well, that's interesting." Sharon rubbed her chin thoughtfully. Her little Stanley didn't have problems with confidence or self-esteem, as far as she knew, but maybe this would be good for him? The idea of her handsome little man winning a trophy made her smile.
"Oh, yes! You should give it a try."
"Maybe I will. Stanley!" she called upstairs. "Stanley!"
Loud thudding preceded the boys' appearance. "I was just talking with Kyle's mother, and she told me about the pageants."
Stan kept his face neutral, while Kyle blushed and ducked his head. "How would you like to give it a try?"
"No, thanks, I'm good."
"Well, all right, it's your decision; if you change your mind, let me know. Perhaps Kyle can give you some tips."
"I'm good," Stan repeated, and Sharon nodded. Kyle stared; how come she wasn't pushing him? "But Kyle's doing one this weekend in Denver, can I go with him?"
"If it's all right with Sheila." Sharon looked over at the woman.
"Oh, it's fine with me," she said, and the two boys grinned.
"Yay! We haven't hung out in ages!" cried Stan.
Stan accompanied Kyle, Sheila and Tony to the National Beautiful Heart pageant in Denver. The two of them turned the back seat of Sheila's car into their own personal den. Spread over the middle seat were several different bags of snacks, their new hand-held Okama Gamesphere consoles, earbuds, their phones, Stan's iPad, and drinks. They were only going to be in the car for an hour and a half, so they didn't bring too much, but it was enough to keep them entertained.
Kyle now considered himself something of a pro when it came to passing the time during long car journeys, but it was much better now that Stan was there with him. The two of them chatted about things that made no sense to adults, and they moaned about school, about Cartman, homework, Cartman, in between playing their games.
It had been the best car trip Kyle had had in a long time, and he was sorry when they arrived at the hotel in Denver.
Stan didn't know what he was expecting, but it wasn't what he saw. These people were serious, even Sheila. Especially Sheila. Armed with her suitcase, entry forms, and Kyle's portfolio tucked under her arm, she and Tony wasted no time in lining up at the front desk, waiting to be registered, as did every other parent.
While they waited for the seemingly never-ending line to shorten, Stan and Kyle hung around nearby, talking about anything and everything except the reason why they were there.
Kyle was beginning to regret inviting his Super Best Friend; now Stan would have to watch him practise, and perform in his makeup and hair, and he was dreading it. He still knew that Stan would never tease him about it, but the thought of his friend watching him go through the process of actually competing (especially now that he put effort into it), was embarrassing enough to make him want to sink into the floor.
"Hi, Kyle!"
"Hey, Kyle!"
"Kyle! Good to see you again!"
"Who are they?" asked Stan, as a group of kids greeted the redhead, as they walked by.
"I don't know," said Kyle honestly. Due to his success, and the fact that he had recently been on a winning streak, meant that he was becoming quite well-known in the pageant world, but Kyle didn't realise this.
Far too soon for Kyle's liking, Sheila and Tony were done, and after unpacking in their hotel rooms, the five of them headed to the conference room where the contest was to be held.
Thankfully, to his immense relief, Stan seemed to really want to go and explore during this time. Kyle knew what he was doing, and shot Stan a grateful smile before his friend ducked out of the room.
Stan slept in the next morning while Kyle got ready, and only awoke in time to dress before Kyle's age group was set to compete, another thing Kyle was grateful for. It was bad enough that he had to wear makeup, but to have his best friend watch while it was applied? Utter humiliation.
When Stan arrived at the conference room, he could not see Kyle, and so he located Sheila and made his way over to her. She and Tony were standing near the judges' table, and they both greeted Stan with a smile, before returning their attention to the stage.
When Kyle stepped onto the stage, Stan was shocked; Kyle had been trained to be a performing doll, nothing more. Everything was rehearsed: the smile, the wave, the walk, the turns. He was trained to keep a smile on his face no matter what.
"What has she done to you?" he whispered in horror, chancing a quick glance at Sheila.
Kyle had a new category; Western Wear, and was in his new outfit; hat, neck tie, plaid shirt, vest, chaps, boots with spurs on them, holsters with toy guns on his belt and a Sheriff badge. He watched as Kyle walked down the runway, spinning the guns on his fingers; seeing the look of concentration in his friend's eyes.
Kyle looked over at his mother, hesitating slightly, before ripping off his Velcro-secured chaps to reveal a set of denim shorts underneath. Stan was sickened when he saw it; even more when that the crowd went wild. He had to look away.
After the crowning ceremony, Kyle came off stage, and ran straight to Stan, avoiding his mother. He'd only won a small medal for "Best Eyes," no King or Prince, and he knew she would be disappointed. He really did not want her to chew him out in front of Stan.
"Well, it's over," he joked and Stan looked over at the stage.
"They're still calling names out."
"That's for the older kids."
Stan didn't understand how the pageant scene worked, but he was going to make a point to go and see Kyle whenever he competed in a Colorado pageant, as he knew it was likely going to be the most time he would get to spend with his super best friend outside of school.
Kyle ignored the MC as he chatted away to Stan; boys never won anything outside of their division, and he had stopped listening as the titles were announced long ago. Never-the-less, he and Sheila always stayed until the end of the ceremony, if only to promote good sportsmanship.
The two boys laughed and joked and groaned at the seemingly never-ending wait for the new Okama Gamesphere game to be released when...
" - Kyle Broflovski!"
Kyle was jerked back to reality when he heard the emcee calling his name, and he whirled around, confused. At first, he thought that there had been a mistake with crowning; maybe the awards had gotten mixed up, but then he saw that everyone around him was applauding.
Tony appeared as if out of nowhere and picked Kyle up, running towards the stage. Much to Kyle's surprise, he was placed on the stage as a young lady standing next to a five-foot tall trophy beckoned him towards her.
A sash was placed over his shoulder and a crown atop his head. Kyle wanted to read the sash, to see what title he had won, but the cameras were flashing and he was obligated to smile; he caught sight of Stan looking slightly bemused and his face broke out into a genuine grin and he had to bite back a laugh at the look on his friend's face.
"Ladies and gentlemen, once again, your Novice Supreme winner: Kyle Broflovski!" Kyle stepped off stage to more applause and made his way over to Sheila.
"I can't believe you won a Supreme title!" she gushed. She held out her arms, and Kyle, beside himself with happiness that she was proud of him, leapt into them, hugging her tightly.
~ X ~
I felt like this was a good stopping point. What did you think?