Chapter 9: Tolerance
Kate
At exactly 8 am, Kate's father picked up his daughter in front of Blackwell Academy. Any other weekend both of them would've chat about the past week during the 15 minute ride, but not this time. Today, the only sound inside of the vehicle was the monotone noise of the car's engine.
Kate looks out of the window, seeing all the trees passing by in a blur. She wasn't paying any attention to the landscape at all. Her head's filled with a wild mixture of feelings that she never felt like this before and now she tries to process them. Most of these feelings are about one person: Max.
She feels love, because that is the most intense feeling she has for Max. She feels joy, because she found someone like her. She feels happiness, because Max is officially her girlfriend. She feels loneliness, because Max wasn't here right now. She feels sadness, because she won't see her until tomorrow evening. She feels longing, because she thought about the intense kiss they shared last night and the phantasies she had after that. It makes her blush in an instant, that's why she was looking out of the window. She doesn't want her dad to see her turn red like a tomato.
But that wasn't everything; there are more. More feelings. Bad feelings; negative feelings; depressing feelings; feelings she shouldn't have at all. But they are there and they aren't about Max, no, they're all about her best friend, Chloe. Normally, Kate was a calm and peaceful character, but this time she felt anger, hate, and aggression towards her girlfriend's blue-haired friend. 'I don't know why, but I have a bad feeling about her. Sorry, Max! I trust you, but I don't trust her! As soon as I'm at home I need to check on her.'
"Is everything alright, Kate?" her father's caring voice chimes.
"Hmm…" she answers, still looking out of the window.
"Katie, dear, please look at me!" The blonde girl turns her head towards her father, looking in to the concerned, but warmly smiling face of Richard Marsh, a tall, blonde man in his mid-forties. She averts his gaze. "Something is bothering you, what is it?"
Kate sighs. "It's nothing, dad. It's just been a tough week and I need to think about some things."
"Tough week? Is it about this competition you told me about?"
Glad about the bone her father threw her, she picks it up and uses it to guide this conversation into another direction. "Yeah, the Everyday Hero Contest. I still don't know what photo I should submit and the deadline is getting closer. So, this is bothering me the whole time."
Her dad rests one hand on her shoulder and smiles at her reassuringly. "Don't worry, dear! You will find the right photo in time! Trust in the Lord, he will guide you!"
Hearing the reference on the Lord, Kate feels a sting inside of her. 'I don't think that the Lord approves with me lying to you, dad. I wish I could tell you what is going on inside of me, but I mustn't, mom wouldn't understand. I saw her rant about homosexual people before.'
Arcadia Bay, July 2012
The sun stands high and the sky is clear, a perfect day for a visit at the beach. It didn't take Kate and her sisters much to convince their parents to go for a swim. Sadly, they weren't the only people having this idea. Although Arcadia Bay had a big beach, the people from the surrounding towns filled it pretty good.
Kate's parents are sitting in the shadow under the umbrella, reading their books. Her sisters, Lynn and Carla are in the water and Kate lays on a blanked, drawing.
"I can't believe it! Will you just look at that!" Kate's mom, Janine Marsh, says in a furious voice, while the dark-blonde woman points in a direction. The small girl follows the point of her finger and sees two girls, a blonde and a blue-haired in bikinis, holding hands and sharing some kisses.
"So what, mom? They're just kissing each other." Kate answers nonchalant with a shrug.
"So what? So what?!" her mom says, getting even more agitated. "Kate, the Lord had his reasons why he created men and women. He never intended that people the same gender should love each other. It is a blasphemy against the whole concept of the Lord's Creation!"
"Janine, darling, there is nothing written in the Book that says that it's forbidden to love someone the same gender. So, let these two girls be in love!" Richard Marsh says in calming voice, not even lifting his head from his book, because he had this kind of discussion with his wife almost every day.
"You too?! I never thought that you two would support homosexuality."
Now, Richard Marsh raises his gaze to look into the eyes of his wife. "Janine, Kate and I don't support homosexuality. Frankly, I'm not supporting it at all, but I accept and tolerate that there are people who are only able or want to love their same gender. The Lord has a plan for all of us, even for these two girls, and if he wants them to be in love than this is the Lord's way and it is not upon us to judge him!"
"And what would you say if one of your daughters, like our little Katie here, would be in love with another girl?" Janine Marsh asks, arms crossed, signaling that she wants to defend her opinion.
Kate doesn't know why, but these last words of her mom triggered a strange feeling inside of her, like she should be offended, but she suppresses it.
"Then she would still be our daughter and I would still love her." Richard answers, sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose. "Listen, darling. I don't demand from you to accept everything in this world, but all I'm asking is a bit of tolerance. And if our Katie would have a girlfriend, I would be happy for her, because that is all I want for our daughters, happiness!"
With a quick move, Kate's mom stands up and walks towards the water, obviously not happy about the way this argument went, letting Kate's dad sigh again.
"Dad?"
"Yes, my dear?"
"Sometimes I'm afraid of mom. She seems so scared of the world. Do you think she would hate me if I were different; like a lesbian?"
Richard sighs. "Katie, I don't think that she would hate you, but I don't know if she could accept it. But we don't have to worry about that, right?" he says, smiling at his daughter.
"Yeah…" Kate answers, still unsure about this weird feeling inside of her.
Chloe & Max
"Okay, let me get this straight. David got you out of this boot camp, beat the shit out of Gomer Pyle and made sure that this hellhole was closed for good?" Max asks Chloe in awe. 'Maybe he isn't an asshole, but still a douche.'
"Yep, yep. He sure did. The only reason I didn't kill him after I got home. Sadly, we couldn't sue these bastards for mayhem, because we had no evidence that the instructors hurt us. These sneaky assholes always did it in this fucking hut, without any witnesses. At least they busted the chief-instructor's ass for running an unregistered boot camp facility and for faking the books. The IRS was hella happy! And I had my first girlfriend." The bluenette says with a slight bitterness in her voice.
"Well, at least some justice. Sorry that you had to go through something like this." the smaller girl answers with a soothing voice.
Chloe scoffs. "Yeah, me too."
Both girls sit at a table in the Blackwell cafeteria, waiting for their breakfast. Only a few students are there, because it's still too early for most of them or they got their breakfast and coffee at the Starbucks in town.
The black-haired girl takes a sip from her cup filled with black tea, while both stay silent for a while. 'At least Chloe had a girlfriend that helped her to get through this shit. I wonder what happened between them. She mentioned her name, Rachel, and she has a big grudge against her.' "Chloe?"
"Hmm?"
"Tell me about Rachel."
Another scoff comes over the bluenette's lips. "Why? You still haven't answered my question about Sam."
"Chloe…"
"Don't 'Chloe' me, Caulfield!" the punk says, a bit agitated. "Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that you're interested in my past five years, but so am I about yours and you still told me shit." She leans towards her friend, who's looking at her cup of tea now, and rests one hand on her shoulder. "Max, I'm not asking to make fun of you or making it a competition. I can see that you lived through hell and I just want to understand."
Max sighs. "I know, Chloe. Listen, I can't tell you everything right now, but…" Max's phone chimes in a special tone, telling her that it's a message from Kate. "Sorry, Chloe! Can I check the message first, it's from Katie."
Leaning back, Chloe's lips form a warm smile. "Sure! But don't forget what you wanted to tell me."
"Promised!" she answers with a nod and smiles back.
Max unlocks her phone and reads Kate's text.
Kate: Max, where are you?
Max: In the cafeteria, eating some breakfast. Why?
Kate: Is Chloe still with you?
Max: Yeah. Why?
Max waits for a while, but doesn't receive any answer back.
Max: Katie? Is everything alright?
Kate: Yes
She looks at her phone for some time. 'Okay, that was obviously a lie. Something's wrong with her and I have a bad feeling about what it is. I need to talk to her, right now!' the freckled girl thought, puts away her phone and stands up.
"What's wrong?" Chloe asks worried.
"I have to call Katie. Seems like, she's jealous."
"About what?" the tall girl asks and is answered with a long gaze from Max on her, until she understands, raising and eyebrow. "About me?"
Max shrugs. "Seems that way. Just wait here. Be right back. Don't eat my breakfast!"
"I would never do that!"
"Really? Remember the Sunday-morning-breakfasts at your place, when we were tweens."
"Shit, got me there, Maximus. Make quick or I can't guarantee anything." Chloe mocks with a wink, earning a stuck out tongue from Max, who heads for the girl's room.
Kate & Max via phone
Kate: Hello?
Max: Hi Katie! What's wrong?
Kate: Nothing.
Max: Kate, I smell the burned fabric of your skirt through the phone.
Kate: …
Max: Are you jealous of Chloe?
Kate: No.
Max: Kate… (sighing) Please…
Kate: (annoyed and agitated) Fine! Yes, I'm jealous of her! Happy?
Max: Why are you jealous of her?
Kate: (enraged) You really ask me why I'm jealous of her? Well, what about that she's tall, beautiful, cool and has confidence. Everything I've got not.
Max: (sighing) Listen, Katie, Chloe's just a friend, nothing more, 'kay? I don't give a damn about that she's tall or cool or confident or even beautiful! I love you, nobody else! I love who you are! I love you, with all your perks and all your edges! And I think that you're the most beautiful girl on this whole wide world. You're my angel; the person who fills my heart again and gives me hope. Chloe couldn't do it, but you did!
Kate: (sobbing and in a low voice) I'm so sorry…
Max: (soothing) Don't cry, Katie! It's okay!
Kate: (sobbing) No, it's not. I'm a bad girlfriend! We're just separated for a few hours and I'm already afraid to lose you to another girl. That's not okay! That's pathetic!
Max: You're not pathetic! Listen, I'm your first girlfriend. Everything is new to you and sometimes you don't know where to categorize some feelings. That's okay, it happens. All you have to do is to trust me, 'kay?
Kate: Mh-hm…
Max: Kate, I promised that I would never cheat on you and now I'm swearing it by dog!
Kate: By dog?
Max: Yeah. Sorry, I never believed in a god and I don't want to offend any believers, so I just exchanged the two letters.
Kate: (chuckling) Nice idea, I like it!
Max: Thanks! Glad to hear you laugh again. By the way, tall girlfriends suck, 'cause you always have to tiptoe to get a kiss.
Kate: (chuckles again) Really?
Max: Yeah, super-annoying!
Kate: Max?
Max: Yeah?
Kate: I love and trust you! Sorry about this whole thing.
Max: I love you, too, Katie! And don't be sorry, no harm done.
Kate: Don't keep Chloe waiting for too long.
Max: Thanks, Kate. Can't wait to see you tomorrow! Just text me anytime you want. I'll call you tonight, 'kay?
Kate: Mh-hm. Can't wait to hear your voice again!
Max: Bye, my Katie. Love you!
Kate: Bye, my Max. Love you, too!
Kate
She lays her phone on the edge of the sink and looks into the mirror. Her eyes are puffy and red from crying. 'Nice move, Kate! Telling your girlfriend with trust-issues that you don't trust her was so clever. What was I thinking?' Kate sighs. 'Thank the Lord, that she's so forgiving and patient. But I love her so much! It hurts! It hurts to be separated from her, even if it's only for less than two days.'
A knock on the door disturbs her thoughts. "Kate, are you alright?" Kate's mom says on the other side of the door, clearly worried.
"Y-yeah, I'm fine." is all she could answer. 'I'm so sorry that I have to lie to my family all the time. I wish I could tell them.' She thought with a sigh and splashes some cold water into her face to get rid of the reddened eyes, dries herself with a towel and opens the door. On the other side stands her mom and embraces her in a hug.
"I was worried about you, Kate. You rushed so fast into the bathroom that we didn't even have the chance to greet each other. So tell me, what is wrong?"
The blonde girl averts her mother's gaze as she answers her. "Oh, i-it's no big thing. I…uhm…I just got some cramps and dizziness. Just needed some cold water in my face, but it's fine now." 'And again I have to lie. Sorry mom, but if I would tell you the truth, you'd probably call an exorcist or worse.'
Janine Marsh brushes with her hand over Kate's head. "Awww, my poor girl! Is your period's coming up?" she says with a comforting voice, but it only makes Kate blush. She couldn't tell what is worse, talking with her mom about her menstruation or the fact that she has to use it as an excuse. But she nods to get her mom off her back. "Don't worry, my dear. Once you have children of your own, you'll understand that all these inconveniences were worth it."
Again, the blonde girl feels a sting in her heart. She knows that she'll never be able to have children the 'traditional' way her mom approves. 'I need to get away from this conversation or I will burst into tears right I front of her and that would raise even more questions.' Kate thought. "Listen, mom. I-I want to lay down a bit and rest."
"Sure, my dear. Just call me, if you need something." The blonde woman says with a warm smile.
Kate heads towards her room, but stops at her father's study. Richard Marsh sits at his desk, working on his sermon for tomorrow's service. The shy girl enters the room with short steps. "Uhm, dad?"
Her father lifts his head from his papers and smiles at his daughter. "Hi, my dear. How are you feeling?"
"Better now, thanks. Dad, i-is it possible that I can bring a friend next weekend to stay over the night? S-she is from Seattle and all alone over the weekends."
It takes a while for Kate's dad to process the words. Kate never brought home friends before, giving him the feeling that she never had any, but he always presumed that his daughter would finally find some friends at Blackwell, because she finally was surrounded by people who shared the same interests. And since he always wanted to support her anytime he couldn't neglect her wish. "Of course, Kate. Just bring her with you and we will welcome her warmly, just as the Lord has told us to do so!"
Pure joy rushes through Kate's body. She'd love to jump up and down, hugging her dad like a maniac. But instead, she stays calm and hugs her father softly, like she always did. "Thanks, dad!" she says and leaves the study for her room.
As soon as the door is closed and locked, she let her feelings flow. Jumps up and down, throws herself onto her bed and smiles the whole time. 'I can't wait to tell her. Next weekend we'll be together the whole time!'
Max
Max pushes the red button on the display of her phone, canceling the call between her and Kate. Her hand shakes while squeezing her phone. It took her every bit of concentration to stay calm. A sob escapes her mouth as she leans on the sink and tries to calm down. 'How could she do this to me? I give her all my love and she mistrusts me. Why, Katie? What did I do to you?'
Max breathing normalizes again. The anger fades with every second. 'Okay, Max. Calm down! Kate is just confused and feels alone. She didn't want to hurt you. She cried and said that she was sorry and probably feels bad about it right now. You did well. Raging on her wouldn't have made anything better, but worse.' She lifts her head and looks into the mirror. Her eyes are red from crying. She splashes some cold water into her face and wants to leave the restroom. Before she opens the door, she stops and sighs. "I love you, my Katie. I'll forgive you!" she whispers to herself and heads outside.
As the black-haired girl reaches the table, Joyce sits beside her daughter, who's already eating her breakfast and chats with her. Max takes her place again and starts to dig in, both women look at her.
"So, how did it go with your girl?" Chloe asks with a raised eyebrow.
"Everything's fine. She…uhm…she just misses me too much and her imagination's gone crazy. But everything is fine now."
"Oh, trouble with your girl, sweetie?" Joyce asks worried.
"She's jealous of me." The bluenette says with a slight grin, which is answered with bad glare by Max.
"Don't worry, Max. That's perfectly normal at the start of a relationship. Just give her some time and a lot of love and she'll never have such feelings ever again." the blonde woman says, touching Max's arm to comfort her. "But you two have to tell me, why aren't you together? As children you were inseparable and sometimes I had the feeling that there was more between you two."
Chloe looks at her hands and sighs. "Well, to be honest, I blew it…twice."
"That's a shame! Max would've been a better girlfriend for you than Rachel."
The punk turns her head towards her mom, fury burning in her eyes, her voice threatening. "Don't start with Rachel, mom! She was a good girlfriend."
"The hell she was. This girl was always up to no good and ruined your life!"
"I don't have to take this bullshit!" Chloe hisses and stands up.
Max raises an eyebrow and looks at her. "Where are you going?"
"I'm gonna smoke a fucking cig or is this forbidden?" she answers agitated and walks away, not waiting for a response.
After her daughter has left the cafeteria, Joyce puts her hand on her forehead and sighs. "My poor girl! This stupid bitch has hurt her so bad, but she never saw it the same way. She always defended her, no matter what, even now."
"Chloe mentioned her before and I had the feeling that she isn't that fond of her anymore." Max says, still eating.
Joyce scoffs. "It depends on her mood. Sometimes Rachel is her one and only angel; the girl of her dreams. And sometimes she curses about her as if she wants to kill her on sight. The whole thing is very complicated. And even I as her mother don't understand everything."
Max shrugs. "Well, relationships are always complicated."
"Yes, but this relationship was a catastrophe waiting to happen. As I saw her for the first time, I thought that she was a nice girl. She was beautiful, made my little girl laugh, but as time went on, the mask she was wearing faded more and more with every day and it was only a matter of time, before she would hurt my poor Chloe."
"Wait. She lived here, in Arcadia Bay? I thought Chloe met her in this boot camp?"
"Oh, she did. And after David got her out of this hellhole, they had a long-distance relationship. But a few weeks later, she stood at our doorstep. She was a new student at Blackwell; had big dreams about becoming a model or an actress in LA. Chloe was happy that she lived here; met her every day. For the first time after William passed on and you moved away, I saw Chloe happy and carefree. After all this time she was my old Chloe again and that was the reason I let this relationship continue, even after I saw what was about to happen; I just tried to ignore it…a big mistake."
Max has stopped eating and is now giving Joyce her full attention. "What happened?"
It takes the tall woman some time to continue. It is obvious to Max that this whole topic about Rachel has left some deep scars. "At first, it was a normal relationship. They saw each other every day; were happy, held hands, kissed, spent the nights together. Chloe was still a very good student, despite of her punk attitude, but after a few months all that changed. She skipped classes, never came home for days, was constantly drunk, took hard drugs, broke the law. I knew one thing, that wasn't my girl anymore, she'd changed and I had the feeling that Rachel was the cause. Whenever I tried to talk with Chloe, she shut me out and defended Rachel. And that was all she ever did. More than one time they both were caught by the police and every time Chloe took the heat for her."
"Why would she do that?"
"Out of love, I guess. She never told me. But it ruined her life. While Rachel's grades improved and her file stayed clean, Chloe was thrown out of Blackwell and became known around town as a dropout and deadbeat."
"I guess Chloe helped Rachel with her good grades, didn't she?"
"She did. One day I came into her room and saw her sitting on her desk, making some homework while Rachel lay on the bed, reading magazines. And that was after she dropped out of Blackwell, so these were Rachel's homework." Joyce sighs again and shakes her head. "People do stupid things when they're in deep love and so did Chloe; I can't even blame her for that. Sadly, reality struck her about 6 months ago. From one day to another Rachel disappeared without any sign. No note, no message, no phone call. She changed her number, broke every contact and left my poor baby all alone. They both had such big plans moving to LA together, but instead Chloe ended up with a broken heart. It hurt her very much, but she always said that something must've happened to Rachel; that she would never leave her alone. So, David asked an old buddy of his, who's a private investigator in LA, to do some research for Rachel Amber. I just wanted to make sure and maybe give Chloe some hope."
"Let me guess, he found her."
"Yes, he did. Her name's not Rachel Amber anymore. She's called Rachel Jayson now."
"She's married now?" Max asks with both eyes wide open.
"Yes! This whore grabbed herself an old millionaire, married him and hopes for a huge inheritance."
"Does Chloe know?"
Joyce shakes her head. "No, I never got the courage to tell her. It would destroy her to hear that Rachel exchanged her; broke her heart; for an old, wrinkled bastard, who got his money from shooting porns."
Anger rises inside of Max. She wants to hurt Rachel, beat the shit out of her, for hurting Chloe; for using her. "Give me the address and I will pay her a visit that she won't forget!"
Smiling at the black-haired girl wryly, the tall woman shakes her head again. "Now look at you! Five years ago you were a skinny, little girl who loved photography and avoided every confrontation, and now? Now you want to fight for your friends, have muscles all over your body, a fancy tattoo on your arm, dyed hair and a girlfriend. What happened to you?"
"She won't tell you, mom." Chloe's voice chimes from behind as she walks up to the table again and takes her seat.
"Had a nice smoke? Thought you quit smoking?" Max says to her, with a small smile, not angry about that she originally didn't want to tell her about Rachel. 'Poor Chloe, she really had a hard time. I feel so sorry for her. No wonder she had to take drugs to get around somehow.' Max's thoughts are interrupted as her gaze follows Courtney, who walks out if the cafeteria and also looks at her with a grin, but she shakes it off mentally and focuses on the conversation in front of her again.
"No. Firstly, I don't have any on me, but found that out after I left. Secondly, I did some meditation and it worked! I'm calm as fuck right now!" she answers with some pride in her voice.
"Congrats, Chloe! I knew you had in you!" her friend cheers.
"I never thought I'd see the day, Chloe Price would stop smoking." Joyce speaks with a wink.
"C'mon, mom. At least have a bit faith in me! And you…" The bluenette points her finger on Max. "…you were about to answer my mother!"
The smaller girl nods and answers mockingly. "Yes, I was about to do so, but was interrupted by some blue-haired idiot."
"Just shoot, asshole!" Chloe comments the mock, pouting.
"Well, in a short version: I had to adapt to my surroundings. What happened in Seattle was too much for the old Max, she would've been broken under the pressure. So, she needed to change or else I wouldn't sit here."
"That sounds awful, sweetie. Weren't your parents around to help you?" Joyce asks and Chloe looks at her, shaking her head slightly to signal her that this is a bad topic.
But Max just continues. "Joyce, my parents went through a divorce. While my dad tried to hold everything together, Vanessa just had nothing better to do as to blame or hit me."
"Oh my god! Your own mother hit you?" Joyce says, her hand covering her mouth.
"Yes, she did and she isn't my mother anymore! The first time she apologized and I believed her. After the second time I didn't believe her anymore and right before I came back here, I made sure that she won't do it ever again. You see, I adapted and was able to defend myself." Max says in a nonchalant way that almost startles Joyce. She sighs. "Joyce, just believe me, I'm still Max Caulfield. I still love your food and have some geeky sides. Chloe can approve it."
"Yup, hella approve it!" Chloe says, fist bumping Max.
"I'm glad to hear that. But I also want to thank you for the money."
"Don't mention it, my pleasure."
"No, Max. What you did was more than everyone has ever done for us and I promise that I will pay every Cent back to you."
The three women sit there for another half an hour, talking about old times. Times, when everything was still alright. Times, when they were tweens. Times, when nobody was trying to hurt them.
Courtney
Even though the day started very shitty it turned out to be the best day of the week. Courtney has been following Max for days now and came up with nothing, only some assumptions about her relationship with Kate Marsh and this ugly punk bitch, nothing worth of showing Victoria. She knew that Vicky wanted some results and finally she had some.
After she was awakened by this stupid violin-play of Kate, she wanted to hurt her. She'd been up until 3 am to finish Victoria's and her own essay about 20th century photographers, and just wanted to sleep until midday, but then she heard this damn violin and couldn't sleep anymore, although she tried it for an hour. But she gave up and definitely needed some coffee, so she went to the cafeteria to get some, but had to take a piss, because in her rush for the black liquid she forgot to do so in the dorm.
And then it happened, Caulfield came into the restroom and started to talk on the phone with Kate Marsh. They seemed to have an argument about jealousy, but as the words 'love', 'kiss' and 'my Katie' were spoken, she knew everything. Caulfield and little Kate Marsh are a couple. It is perfect, almost too perfect. Kate is Vicky's favorite victim; easily to influence and to break.
The black-haired girl grins as she remembers how she received the information and taps a message on her phone, addresses it to Victoria and hits the send-button. 'Well, you shouldn't have played that fucking violin, bitch! One step closer to high society, Courtney!'