Bridesmaids
Damn it. Monica just lost all the money that she had left to the stock market. She was so convinced that this was going to save her from this horrible 50's diner job. Seems like she had run out of options now. She was walking back home, carrying a bag with her hideous, new working clothes. I'm going to dance on top of the counter? Ugh!
When she entered the apartment, Rachel was not home yet. She had to try the clothes on before starting tomorrow, because if they didn't fit, she had to exchange them before starting her evening shift. She went to her room and got in her costume. Pink is so not my colour. The wig and the glasses made her look at least twenty years older than she actually was. And what was with the fake boobs?
Wanting to see herself from a bit further from the mirror, she got out of her room and went in the direction of the mirror in the living room, next to the bathroom.
"Oh my god!", a voice exclaimed from the couch. Rachel looked at her with big eyes and pursed lips, trying to keep herself from laughing out loud.
"Oh, shut up", Monica rolled her eyes, but her lips showed a small smile. After taking a last glance at her reflection, she went to the sink to grab a glass of water. She began to drink and almost spilt all the water all over her when she felt a slap on her butt. Wiping her mouth, she turned around and looked at Rachel with a questioning look. "What are you doing?"
"Breaking the ice", Rachel said, opening the fridge.
"Breaking what ice?", Monica's hand outstretched, her brows knitted together in confusion.
"Oh, come on", Rachel closed the fridge and looked at Monica with her arms crossed, "Yes, we are friends and that's great, but the last weeks we've been so tense around each other. Every time I made physical contact with you, I was wondering if it was okay to do so since we weren't together anymore. Every time when watch something at night, I wonder if it would be okay to sit close to you. I can't take it anymore. We were way closer before we were a couple than we are now", Rachel's arms had fallen to her side.
"I know what you mean. I have been trying to keep my distance, because I didn't want to push myself on you, since I was the one who broke up with you", Monica took a step forward.
"Can we go back to before? With all the hugging? And not wondering whether it would be okay to sit close to you?"
"I would love that", Monica said, wrapping her arms around Rachel.
Rachel reciprocated the hug. "Wow, these are huge!", she said as she pulled back a bit, staring down at the fake boobs.
"I know, right, it's horrible", Monica said, taking one out, "Look at the difference. You can barely see my real boob", she shook her head while Rachel snorted, "Anyway, I'm changing out of this before anyone else gets here."
"Hey, Mon, what is this?", Phoebe asked, pulling a colourful piece of fabric from the box in front of her.
"Oh, um, that was my bathing suit from high school. I was uh, a little bigger then", Monica said.
"Oh, I thought that's what they used to cover Connecticut when it rained", Chandler quipped.
Pulling out a VCR tape, Joey asked, "Hey Monica, what's on this videotape?"
"You got me, put it in."
Rachel entered, putting her bag from work down. "Hi!", she greeted the gang."
"Over here, Jack. OK. I see, Rachel's coming up the path. Oh doesn't she look pretty? Jack, get this", Judy Geller said on the tape.
When she was entering Monica's home on the tape, Rachel stopped behind the couch. "Oh my God."
"What is with your nose?", Joey asked, having never seen Rachel before she moved in with Monica.
"They had to reduce it because of, of my deviated septum", Rachel explained.
"OK, I was wrong, that's what they used to cover Connecticut", Chandler teased, earning a slap on the head from Rachel.
Looking behind her at Rachel, Monica said: "You know what this is, this is us getting ready for the prom."
"Oh!", Rachel went to sit down on the arms of the sofa, right behind Monica, who immediately put her arm on Rachel's legs.
Ross, knowing exactly what was on this tape, said: "You know what, you guys, we don't have to watch this."
"Oh yeah we do. C'mon", everyone else seemed to think otherwise, though.
"Get a shot of Monica. Where's Monica?", Judy asked.
"Over here dad", she said. The camera turned and her torso took up the whole screen.
"Wait, how do you zoom out", they heard her dad say. He found the right button and Monica, when she used to be bigger, comes onto the screen, "There she is."
Rachel looked down and ran her hands over her friend's arms.
"Some girl ate Monica", Joey pointed at the screen.
Monica got up on her knees and turned to Joey. "Shut up, the camera adds ten pounds", Monica said, falling back down against Rachel.
"Ahh, so how many cameras are actually on you?", Chandler joked. Rachel bent down and hugged her, both of them with a slight smile playing on their lips. Rachel gave a soft, barely noticeable kiss on her head before straightening up again.
"Oh, you look so great", Monica said to Rachel.
"Ahh, so do you, beautiful", she answered, hugging Monica.
"Oops", Monica said, covering her mouth.
"What?", Rachel asked.
"Shoot, I think I got mayonnaise on you."
"Oh, that's OK, it's just the shoulder, it's not my dress", Rachel laughed.
"Everybody smile", Jack said.
"Oh, dad, turn it off."
"It is off", her dad answered.
"Dad, it is not. What's with the red light?"
"It's the off light. Right, Ross?"
The camera turned and Ross came into view. He was not-so-subtly staring at Rachel. When he realised his dad had turned the camera, he quickly averted his gaze.
"Lookin' good Mr. Cotter", Joey joked, while everyone else was still laughing. Ross still had his afro haircut and his silly moustache here.
"You look pretty tonight", they heard Ross say. The video cut to another part of the evening.
"Oh, thanks. So, uh, what are you gonna do this summer?", Rachel asked, trying to keep her dress from falling from her shoulders.
"Oh, you know, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna hang out, work on my music."
Giving up the fight with her dress, she asked Ross: "Is my hook unhooked? These things keep falling down, I can't. . ."
"Uh, let me see, I don't know. So what're you gonna do. . .", before he could finish his question, the doorbell rang.
"Oh, the guys are here", Rachel said excitedly and went to open the door.
"… this summer?", Ross finished, talking to no one.
"Work on your music?", Chandler asked incredulously. Ross just shook his head, but the video cut to the next fragment. Now, Ross was sitting on the stairs playing on his keyboard.
" Oh my God, look there's Roy Gublik", Rachel pointed to the screen.
Monica turned around and said: "Ya know, Roy saw Star Wars 317 times", Monica looked quite proud actually. She can be so adorable. Rachel stroked her hair and Monica continued: "His name was in the paper."
"Where's Chip, why isn't he here yet?", Rachel asked.
"He'll be here OK, take a chill pill", Roy said, putting on the pin on Monica's chest. When he's done, Monica turns to whisper something in Rachel's ear.
"I just told Rachel that Roy touched my boob", Monica giggled.
"I can't go to my own prom without a date, I can't, it's too late."
"If you're not going then I don't want to go either", Monica said to Rachel.
"Oh, I'm gonna kick Chip's ass", Roy said walking away. The camera turned back to the stairs where Ross was still playing.
"I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom", Judy said to Ross.
"Doubtful."
"Jack, give me that. Talk to your son."
"Your mother's right. Take her, you can wear my tux."
"Dad, she won't want to go with me."
"Of course she would, you're a college man."
"I don't know."
"Well, c'mon. Don't ya want to find out?"
"I can't believe I don't get to go to my own prom, this is so harsh", Rachel was crying in the living room.
"Okay. Hold my board."
"Atta boy"
, Jack said. Ross climbed the stairs, tripping a couple of times, to go put on his costume.
"Okay, you guys, you know, I think we've seen enough, let's turn it off", Ross tried.
"No, no, no", they all protested.
"OK, fine, well I'm not gonna watch, alright", he said, walking in the direction of the door.
"C'mon kid, let's go", his father said.
"Ahh, are you handsome", his mom was still filming.
"Let's show 'em."
"Uh, just a sec dad", Ross turned a bit to talk to himself, "OK, be cool, just be cool", he turned back and descended the stairs, "Okay dad."
"Rachel, ready or not, here comes your knight in shining. . .", his father started to announce, but stopped abruptly when he saw the now four teenagers leaving the house, "Oh no."
"Bye", they said, taking off.
"Oh, dear. Jack, how do I turn this off?"
"Press the button."
"Which one? Which button, Jack."
"The button, the button", the videotape ended.
"I can't believe you did that", Monica said to Ross.
"Yeah, well", Ross shrugged, a bit embarrassed.
Rachel looked at Ross. She slowly got up. "If I were straight, I would so be kissing you now", Rachel said, halfway teasing, halfway serious. Ross seemed to lose a bit of the tension with Rachel's comment and even smiled a bit at her. Rachel turned around the couch and walked towards him. "I mean it Ross. This really means a lot to me. Thank you", she hugged him and Ross hugged her back.
"Are you sure you're gay?", he asked still holding his arms around her.
Rachel snorted. "Pretty much so", she said pulling back.
"Oh, well, it was worth a try", Ross shrugged, a teasing smirk on his lips.
"Mon, please, you have to come with me to their wedding. I can't do it alone, please", Rachel begged. Next week, Bandy and Mincy were getting married and Rachel was going to be a bridesmaid.
"Fine, but can I bring Richard? You're going to sit at this table with the bridesmaids and the best men and I would be sitting all alone."
Why is she still dating this guy? He's so old! I don't get what she sees in him. Every time I see them kiss, I cringe. And not only because I wish that I was the one kissing her soft lips. "Yeah, alright. Thanks, Mon."
She found a package in front of her door a couple of days later. Excited about the fact that she got a present, Rachel opened with full enthusiasm. Her big smile faded really quickly though the moment she saw the contents of the package. It was a hideously big, pink dress. To make it even worse, they included an even worse hat. God, if the people at work would see her in this, they would question their reasons why they hired her in the first place.
Monica and Richard were waiting outside the bathroom. Rachel had to pee one more time before walking down the aisle as a bridesmaid.
"So, I read this article in the paper the other day that says you're not supposed to throw rice at weddings, because when pigeons eat rice it kills them", Monica said, trying to break the awkward tension between them.
"Oh, that's why you never see pigeons at sushi bars", Richard's joke failed miserably, but because they were both desperate to get rid of this awkwardness, they laughed, "See, we're having fun."
"Oh, absolutely. Yeah, you know I'm not even thinking about that thing that we're not supposed to think about", Monica said, all the while thinking about nothing but the fact that he doesn't want to have children.
"Neither am I."
Luckily, Rachel came back to them before Monica had to find another subject to talk about. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah, when I was in the bathroom I saw the window that I crawled out of at my wedding, and God, I just started thinking that I shouldn't be here, you know I shouldn't, people are going to be looking at me and judging me and, and thinking about the last time", Rachel started questioning her decision again.
"Honey, it's be gonna okay, all right. It's a wedding, generally people focus on the bride", Monica tried to calm her down a bit.
"God I know, you're right", she said, squeezing Monica's hand.
The wedding planner came in to tell everyone to go to their seats and to guide the bridesmaids and best men to stand in two lines. Monica sat more or less in the middle of all the rows and next to the aisle. This way, she was in the direct line of vision of Rachel when she needed a bit of mental support. The bridesmaids and best men started to enter. The wedding had officially begun. She looked behind her and saw Rachel. She was fourth in line and looked like she was still in doubt whether to run out or to suck it up and stick it out. When Rachel was next to her, Monica gave her an encouraging smile and Rachel attempted to give one back.
"Oh no", Rachel had just passed her and Monica saw the disaster of Rachel's dress. When she had gone to the bathroom, she had not pulled down the back of her dress and it had gotten stuck in her panties. At this very moment, she was flashing her butt to everyone behind her. Normally, Monica never broke the rules. It gave her anxiety just to think about breaking the rules. But now, she put herself in Rachel's place, and she would be so angry if Rachel wouldn't tell her something like that. Monica had made her decision.
She stood up and walked to Rachel, who was luckily only about four steps from her. She stood directly behind her, blocking everyone's view, and grabbed Rachel's shoulders.
"Monica? What are you doing?", she whispered a tad angry at all the extra attention Monica was putting on her.
"Your dress is stuck in the back of your panties", Monica whispered in her ear.
Rachel's hand flew to her mouth while the other one went to confirm what Monica was telling her.
"I'm blocking everyone's view so, quick, pull your dress out of your panties", Monica said. There was starting to form a line behind them. Rachel quickly readjusted her dress and when Monica saw that she was good, she let go of Rachel and went back to her place. She was painfully aware of all the people looking at her, but tried pointedly to ignore them all, keeping her eyes straight ahead.
"That was so embarrassing", Richard said, leaning into her. Monica pursed her lips. She knew. He didn't need to rub it in her face.
After Mindy and Barry were officially declared husband and wife, everyone went back out of the hall to go to the big dining room. Monica waited in the lobby, Richard still at her side, until Rachel got out. The minute her eyes locked on Monica's, she practically ran in her arms. "Oh my god, this was soooo humiliating", her muffled voice came out of the crook of Monica's neck, "I think the only thing that tops that was, was, was when I was in the eighth grade and I had to sing the Copa Cabana in front of the entire school. I think I got about two lines into it before I ran and freaked out. Oh my God, my entire life is flashing before my eyes."
"I'm sorry, I should have checked when you came out of the bathroom", Monica's hand went over Rachel's hair.
"No, it's not your fault, if anything, I need to thank you", she lifted her head and looked at Monica, "I know this took a lot of courage for you to get up in the middle of a ceremony, but you did anyway. I don't want to imagine how much longer I would have had my butt out if you hadn't done so."
Monica smiled at her, looking sympathetically at her. She pushed a few strands of hair from Rachel's face. "I would do anything for you, Rach", she said in a soft voice, "Come on, let's eat. I'm starving and I want my free dinner."
Monica had an arm around Rachel's arm when they walked in the direction of the dining room. Richard was just awkwardly tagging along behind them. Slightly irritated about the fact that Monica had wanted him there, yet hadn't talked to him for longer than five minutes.
When everyone sat down at their respective tables, the best man rose to his feet. "Yo! Can I have your attention, please, Best Man, making a toast here. Thank you", he clears his throat and starts reading, "I remember when Barry got home from his first date with Rachel..."
Everyone in the room looked at each other, equally confused by the start of his speech.
"What, you hired the same band I can't use the same speech", the drummer does a 'da-doom-chesh' to highlight his joke, which makes the people laugh, "Thank you, thank you very much. Anyway, I wish you both a wonderful life together. And Rachel..."
"What?", she said, looking up.
"No, no, no now in all seriousness, there are not a lot of women who would've had the guts to come back here tonight, and even fewer, who would do it with their asses hanging out!", he laughed and the drummer gave him another 'da-doom-chesh'. Rachel felt like she could sink in the floor from humiliation.
"At least Mindy doesn't have a syphilis infection", he almost bent double with laughter over his own joke. Rachel's face was as red as it was going to get. With her head down, she looked around through her eyelashes and saw the entire room in a mix of disgust and laughter. When her eyes stopped on Monica, she saw her sitting with her hand clasped in front of her mouth. She couldn't handle this. What did she think coming to this wedding? She shoved her chair back and stood up, walking in the direction of the door.
"And once again she is out of here. Okay, who had 9:45? Huh?", Rachel stopped dead in her tracks. They put a bet on me? She turned around to the whole room still staring at her. After an internal struggle, she decided to go to the microphone.
"Ya, know what Barr, I'm not gonna leave. I probably should, but I'm not, see 'cause I promised myself that I would make it through at least one of your weddings", the drummer did his da-doom-chesh once again, "See now, tonight, all I really wanted was to make it through this evening with a little bit of grace and dignity. Well", she said laughing, "I guess we can all agree that's not gonna happen. There's nothing really left to say except...", taking all the courage she had left, she started to sing, "Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl. With yellow feathers", the band, having recognized the song, joins in, "Feathers in her hair, and a dress cut down to there. She would..."
Monica, sitting at the table right next to the band, saw her friend struggling to find the next word. "Merengue", Monica sang loud enough for Rachel to hear.
"...merengue, thank you honey, and do the cha-cha. And while she'd like to be a star, Tony always tended bar. At the, wait, wait, everybody..", she said in the micro.
"At the copa, Copacabana", almost everyone in the room had joined in now. Monica was singing too, all the while watching proudly how her friend had handled the situation. Rachel barely took her eyes off Monica. She was still very close to running off the stage, but when she looked at Monica's smile and the way her eyes were sparkling, she found the courage to continue to sing.
When the band resumed their normal program for the night, people started to fill the dancefloor. Rachel talked with some old friends from when she was engaged to Barry. While they were all engaged or married or pregnant or rich or whatever, Rachel proudly showed off her career. Her boss had told her last week that if she kept going like this, she would be a stylist by Christmas and then she would be able to work with a new apprentice stylist. Someone whom she would teach everything that she had learned in the past months.
"Okay, I'll do it", Richard said, dancing with Monica on the dancefloor.
"You'll do what?", Monica pulled back from his chest to look at him.
"If kids is what it takes to be with you then kids it is."
"Oh my God!", Monica said. His phrasing and intonation were a bit weird though. Like it was a punishment or something.
"If I have to I'll, I'll do all again, I'll do the 4 o'clock feeding thing, I'll go to the P.T.A. meetings, I'll coach the soccer team", he continued.
"Really?", Monica said with a hesitant smile. He was sounding a bit more excited now.
"Yeah, if I have to. Monica, I don't wanna lose you, so if I have to do it all over again, then I will."
"You're the most wonderful man. And if you hadn't said 'if I have to' like seventeen times, then I'd be saying 'okay, let's do it.'", she said, a bit irritated by his eye-roll while she was talking.
"But you're not", he sighed.
"Oh my God, I can't believe what I'm getting ready to say. I wanna have a baby, but I don't wanna have one with someone who doesn't really wanna have one."
"God. I love you", he said.
"I know you do. So what do we do now?", she asked.
"Well, I promised Michelle I would come by tonight to babysit my grandson, so I might as well go a little earlier", he shrugged.
"Okay, Rachel and I can grab a cab."
He squeezed her hands and gave her a kiss on her cheek. "Bye, Monica", he said. Letting go of her hands, he turned around and left the room, leaving Monica standing alone on the dancefloor, unmoving. Her shoulders sagged slightly. Why do I always fall for people who I either can't have children with or who don't want to have children?
S2E21 tow the bullies
S2E14 tow the prom video (it's not in chronological order this one, because, for me, it didn't make sense to put this one earlier)
S2E24 tow Barry and Mindy's wedding