Wedding dresses

Monica stood looking over Rachel's now empty room. She leaned against the wall and had her arms firmly crossed over her stomach. As if trying to keep her emotions from bursting out from her body. She heard footsteps behind her, but didn't bother to look who it was. When she felt a warm hand on her shoulder, she caught a whiff of the scent of Chandler. He gently squeezed her shoulder.

„Are you okay?", Chandler asked.

„No", Monica turned around and, without looking at him, she hid her face against him. Chandler's heart broke a little for his friend. Monica was the one who always denied that she was sick. Who always put on a smile even though she didn't feel like it. Who was friendly to people who didn't deserve it in the slightest. The one who couldn't admit that she needed help every once in a while. But now, she didn't even try to pretend. Her voice broke, even though the word had been so short. It is so short, yet so powerfully devastating.

He held Monica tight. Trying to keep her from completely falling apart. She was trembling in his arms. He had never seen her like this. Not once in his entire life had he seen Monica in this kind of distress. It was quite terrifying if he was being honest.

Trying to compose herself, Monica exhaled some long, shaky breaths. „She's really gone", Monica managed to squeeze out of her throat, even though it felt like her emotions were strangling her, „Before, she lived here, but now, I'm losing her more and more."

„I'm sorry", Chandler didn't know what to say. He had never experienced pain this intense himself.

„She's moving on. And she should, because-", an involuntary sob escaped, „Because I was the one that broke up with her. And I'm happy for her", she really was. She wanted nothing more than Rachel to be happy. And she was.

„But why does it hurt so much?", Monica asked. Chandler felt his arm hair standing up. The rawness in her voice gave him chills all over her body.

Rachel put her brand new set of keys on the table next to the front door of her new apartment. It still felt weird to call it that way. In her head, it was still Ellie's apartment. Standing in the tiny hallway, she heard the sizzling sounds of the food being cooked in the kitchen. She closed her eyes and saw Monica smiling at her, another amazing meal in the make in front of her. She shook her head. She had sworn herself that she was going to try. She wasn't going to let her feelings for Monica get in the way of her feelings for Ellie. After all, she truly did love Ellie. She just wasn't sure if it was ever going to be as strong as the love she had once had for Monica. The one that she was trying to suppress for a couple of years now.

Taking one more deep breath, she entered the living room. Her boxes were still spread all over the place. It had been two days now since she had moved. Monica would have asked her at least a dozen times already to unpack the boxes. She put a postcard on top of the drawer next to the television. She had gotten it today at work from James, one of her coworkers, to congratulate her on her new home. James was one of her favourite coworkers. He was super funny and he had a hilarious way to tell anecdotes about his life. His desk was easy to spot from far, since it was almost fully packed with pictures from him and his boyfriend. And the occasional picture of his cat.

Rachel turned around and went to the kitchen. She put her arms around Ellie and kissed her softly on her cheek. „Hi, sweetie. It smells good here", she said, her chin resting on Ellie's shoulder.

„Hey, babe. How was work?", she asked, stirring the sauce in the pan.

„Good. There was a rumour today about a big position in the company getting free. The guy who had been doing it before, apparently has decided to leave. But I heard it from James, who heard it from Janette from copying, who heard from Greg in sales, who heard from John the secretary, who overheard it from a phone call between Josephine, one of our CEOs, and someone else. So I don't know how much this information has been deformed already."

„Yeah, probably. But you can always try to apply for it if it does get free. I mean, if it's something you would want to do of course", Ellie said.

„Yeah, I'll see", Rachel said, "But enough about work", she turned Ellie, who still had a spoon in her hand, around and kissed her. Her arms were firmly around her waist. Ellie shoved the spoon on the counter and wrapped her arms around Rachel's shoulders.

Monica had decided that tonight she was going out. It was Friday and she didn't have anything to do. And since Rachel had moved on, she found it only fair to herself if she would move on too. She had put on a red top with spaghetti straps and blue jeans with a rip at one knee.

A flickering board that said ‚Roxy' attracted her attention. The previous three that she had passed by were filled with teenagers. As she was 29, she didn't really feel like mingling with people 10 years younger than her. Roxy, though, seemed like a more adult place. The music was a bit less loud and the people inside looked more her age.

She took place on one of the chairs at the bar. The choice of drinks was overwhelming. It had been a while since she had gone to a club like this, so she took her time to scan the drink menu and make a good choice. When she had decided, she looked up to call the bartender. Instead, of ordering, she got a drink already pushed her way. She looked at the bartender confused. „From the gentleman over there", he pointed at a man sitting on the other side of the bar. He smiled at her and shyly lifted his hand.

Monica smiled back and lifted her drink slightly, while mouthing the words ‚thank you'. Normally, she didn't accept drinks from strangers. Today, she had decided that she would move on and the guy seemed quite nice, so she just accepted it. She was slowly sipping from it, hyperaware from two eyes resting on her. She lifted her eyes and lifted a thumbs up and the man that he would know that she liked the drink. A noticeable sigh went through the man and he flashed her another smile.

She saw him calling the waiter again. He scribbled something on a piece of paper and soon after, the waiter was once again coming her way. He handed her the paper, pointing at the man. „From him again", he said, taking the towel from his shoulder to continue drying the dishes. Monica opened the paper. Would it be okay if I came to sit next to you? Monica considered this for a moment, keeping her head down, but ultimately just went with it. She looked up and nodded at him. He gathered his stuff and walked her way.

„Hi, I'm Matthew", he extended his hand.

„I'm Monica. Nice to meet you", she shook his hand.

He smiled and took place next to her. Monica's curiosity got the best of her. „So, you do this a lot?", she asked, gesturing at her drink.

Matthew let out an embarrassed laugh and ducked his head. „Actually", he looked up, „I've never done this before. But I saw you and I'm horrible at walking up to beautiful women and talking to them, so I thought I would try it this way. I swear I've never done this, but you were just too beautiful to not try", he confessed.

Monica saw him fidgeting with his hands. She was pretty sure that he was telling the truth. „Well, thank you, I appreciate the drink", Monica smiled at him. Now that he was closer, she could take a good look at him. He didn't look so bad himself either. He had dark brown, ruffled hair and a shy, but cute smile. He had a very light stubble, which she hadn't noticed when he was sitting further away from her. His eyes had a grey-greenish colour. He wore a simple, black shirt and blue jeans.

„So, Monica, would you mind me asking about you?", he asked in a friendly voice.

„Well, I'm a chef and I would love to work at an amazing restaurant one day. I live currently alone in an apartment in New York and I'm 29 years old", Monica introduced herself shortly, „How about you?"

„I work as a medical assistant. I'm doing my internship here, in New York, but I don't think I want to keep working here. I finish my internship in two weeks and then I will see where it takes me. Oh, and I'm 28", he smiled at her.

„Wow, impressive. Why do you want to leave New York?", Monica asked. She had been sipping from her drink every now and then and she was already getting to the end of it. She looked out of the corner of her eye and tried to find the bartender who had been doing the dishes a few minutes ago.

„I've lived in New York my whole life and, even though it's a really cool city and I have some great memories here, I feel it's time to spread my wings and to see where I end up."

„I see", Monica smiled and lifted her hand when she finally saw the bartender coming back to the bar. „Could I order another one of this please?", she asked pointing at her drink, „And for you?", she asked Matthew, „It's on me this round", she smiled at him.

„Well, alright then. For me another beer, please", he asked, „Thanks", he said to Monica.

They had been talking for quite a long time and Monica actually felt really comfortable with Matthew. The couple of drinks that she'd had caused her to be a bit touchy-feeling with Matthew. She found his jokes a bit funnier than they actually were and she found any excuse good enough to touch his arm. Matthew, on the other hand, wasn't trying to hide his own affection towards her either.

„Can I kiss you?", he suddenly asked bluntly, „Sorry, I had this question in my mind for about an hour now, but I didn't-", he was cut off by Monica's lips on his.

He was quite a good kisser. And she admired his courage. Even though the alcohol had probably helped a bit.

Monica woke up the next day in her own bed. She looked next to her and saw a small piece of paper lying on the other cushion. Hey, you are a really great and beautiful woman and I really enjoyed last night. However, I'm going to move pretty soon and I'm not really looking for a serious relationship in New York at the moment. I wish you all the best. Matthew.

Well, that was that. She didn't really feel sad about not being able to date him, but it just felt quite typical that he stayed for sex, but left for the other stuff. Anyway, maybe it's for the best. And it was actually quite nice to have had a nice night of sex without strings. It would have just been nice if she had known this in advance.

She got up from bed, threw the note in the trash and went to the shower.

Rachel dragged herself from the bedroom to the kitchen, desperate for a cup of coffee to wake her up properly. Ellie had one of those fancy, new coffee machines where you practically just needed to push a button and it would make it for you. In theory, it was great, but the noise it made as soon as she pressed the button, was a noise she hated every morning. She had never realized how much she had appreciated the silence of her old coffee-making process. Monica had a little pan that was specifically meant for boiling water. She missed that pan. Maybe even more the person that pan belonged to. But she didn't want to think about this feeling.

The now-filled, hot cup of coffee was being lifted by Rachel's hand. Holding the cup with both her hands, she plodded towards and living room and carefully sat down, not wanting to spill her coffee. She looked at the clock. It was a few minutes to eight. She still had forty minutes before she had to leave for work. Ellie had already left at seven.

She put on a suit, but made sure it was comfortable. She was going to go to Central Perk immediately after work. Ellie didn't live far, but far enough for her not to make it to the coffee house as often as she did two weeks ago.

Taking one last look in the mirror to make sure that deep blue was the colour for today, she took her keys and left.

„I hate my regular clothes now! You know? I look down and I know that this isn't gonna be the most special day of my life", Phoebe sulked.

„Yeah. I mean it was kinda fun for a while, but didn't you start feeling silly?", Monica said. This afternoon, Monica had to pick up the wedding dress for Julie, since she had a last-minute work meeting she couldn't get out of. Ross and Julie were still going strong and they were going to get married in a couple of months. Monica and Phoebe, however, had been putting on wedding dresses and throwing bouquets at each other just for the fun of it.

„I guess", Phoebe relented. Monica crossed her legs and the garter belt that she was still wearing, was showing from underneath her skirt.

„Oh my God!", Phoebe pointed with an accusing finger.

„Oh God", Monica quickly tried to hide it.

„Oh, you're such a cheater!", Phoebe shook her head.

„Hey, girls!", Rachel's voice made their heads turn immediately and they both shot a big smile at Rachel.

„Hey!", they both said, standing up to hug their friend.

„So, how is it going with you two?", Phoebe asked when they sat down with Rachel in between them on the orange couch.

„Good! It's a bit of a change and there are a lot of things that I need to get used to, but in general, it's going pretty good", Rachel smiled.

„That's great. Let me get you a coffee", Monica said standing up. Even though it was good to hear that they were doing good, it was still hard to hear about it.

When Monica sat back down and gave Rachel the cup of coffee, Rachel's eyes fell on a white garter belt around Monica's leg. „What's this?"

„Oh, it's nothing", Monica's face flushed, trying to hide it yet again.

„It's something that brides wear, isn't it?", Rachel asked.

„Yes, we put on wedding dresses just for fun, but when we took them off, Monica didn't take off this one, because she likes it too much", Phoebe rolled her eyes slightly, but had an amusing smirk on her lips.

„Phoebe", Monica tried to shush her friend.

„Wait, you were in wedding dresses? I want to see!", Rachel said excitedly.

„On one condition", Phoebe said, „You need to wear one too."

„Okay, I think it's in one of the boxes in my old room that had low priority", Rachel said.

Not much later, they were heading towards Monica's apartment. When they entered, Phoebe went to the bathroom with her wedding dress, Monica to her bedroom and Rachel to her old bedroom. Monica was ready first and knocked on the bathroom to see if Phoebe wanted help with her zipper. Once Phoebe was zipped up, they went towards the couch. Phoebe sat down and put her hand on her pregnant belly. She was pretty far along now. Monica was turning to sit down too, but stopped mid-movement when Rachel's door went open. Their eyes locked immediately and they roamed over each other. Rachel's mouth hung slightly open. She had never seen such a beautiful bride. When her eyes arrived back on Monica's face, she noticed that Monica had a similar expression as her.

„Isn't this fun?", Phoebe exclaimed, oblivious to the looks being passed between the two ex-girlfriends.

„Yeah", Rachel said, tearing her eyes away from Monica.

„If I ever get married, I would want a wedding dress like this", Phoebe admired her dress, „Although, I would take a few sizes smaller, since I won't have triplets in my belly then."

„It looks really good on you", Rachel said, „If I ever get married, I don't think I would want to marry in a dress. I would either want a jumpsuit or a suit."

„Oh, that's really nice too! And you, Monica?"

„Well, I would want a simple design, a bit longer than this one. Anyway, I'm going to get the popcorn. Rach, can you put in the movie?", Monica asked.

„Yeah", she went to the tv.

„I'm going to take a glass of water", Phoebe said, preparing to get up with her huge belly.

„You can stay seated, Pheebs, I will take it for you", Monica said, already reaching for a glass.

Before long, they sat there, three in a row, wearing wedding dresses, eating popcorn and watching a movie.

Rachel was gripping the sheets of their bed. Ellie's head was between her legs and she was doing godly things to her. The sensations were too high and Rachel had to close her eyes. She felt her climax approaching. „Mmm-", her eyes flew open. She had stopped herself just in time. She was about to moan Monica's name. Ellie was insanely good, so despite her panic, she had still managed to climax, but now, Ellie was sleeping, cuddling with her, while Rachel's eyes were wide open.

It shouldn't be so hard to live together with your girlfriend. She wasn't supposed to want to moan another woman's name. She shouldn't miss her old apartment so much. She should like to unpack all her boxes and to mingle all their stuff together. She should be happy and proud of herself for having such a stable relationship. She shouldn't feel relieved when she woke up alone and didn't have to talk in the morning just because Ellie was a morning person.

But why did she feel all those things? It was getting out of hand. She was resenting living together with Ellie more and more. Even though she did love her. Just not as much as she needs to if she wants to make this relationship work. If she wanted to have a future in this relationship.

She sighed. This was going to be a difficult conversation with Ellie.

S4E20 tow all the wedding dresses

*Inserting dramatic music* :p

I hope you're all going to have a great week :)