Chapter 3: The Normality of Insanity.
The next day.
A light drizzle greeted the morning. Pausing as she grappled with her father, the match was shattered by the sound of a whip-like ribbon cutting through the air. It wrapped itself around Ranma's ankle and pulled her into the koi pond.
Having committed himself to training in the months since laying Happosai to rest, Ranma had taken to sparring with great intensity. This morning was no exception. She'd been so involved in her strikes aimed at Genma that she'd left herself completely open to the surprise attack. A freezing blast of cold water chilled her to the bone as fish scrambled to get out of her way.
Their sparring match interrupted, Genma Saotome looked up at the origination point of the attack. Perched on the house's outer wall was Kodachi Kuno, gymnast star and heir to a vast family fortune. Clad in a blue leotard that seemed a bit too tight, everything about her stank of self-assured superiority. Even her eyes, which stared at the pool in which Ranma had just reentered, seemed as if everything she gazed at was beneath her notice.
Suddenly Genma understood what was going to happen. "Where one goes the other son follows… or something like that. I'm outta here!" He hauled back into the relative safety of the house, abandoning his son to the wolf on their doorstep.
"Rise up, Pigtailed Girl," Kodachi spat, her eyes narrowing the slightest of a fraction. "You have much to answer for, hussy."
"What in the heck!?" Spitting out a mouthful of water, Ranma leapt out of the chilly water, further agitating the Koi that lived there. Clad in only a pair of black elastic pants and a tank top, Ranma shivered against the chilly morning air and wrapped her arms around herself.
"What a pathetic sight you are," Kodachi clicked her tongue against her teeth. "You're almost too pitiful to watch. Best get out of that water now before you catch cold, little girl. Besides, no amount of water can erase your foul stench from the air."
Ranma jumped out of the water, rubbing her arms. "That water was cold, damn it! What'd you do that for!?"
The snobbish girl's lips turned upwards in the faintest of smiles. "By the time I'm done with you, the chill in the air will be the least of your worries." Retracting her ribbon from around Ranma's leg, she wrapped it around her fingertips, hopping off the fence and preparing for combat. Her movements were precise and fluid, just what one would expect of a gymnastics protégé.
Ranma cocked her head, putting her hands on her hips. "So, um, what did I do to make you mad this time?"
Kodachi pulled on either end of her ribbon, causing it to emit a sharp crack as the fabric became taunt. "You've been keeping my darling Ranma to yourself these last few months. It's so obvious. That must be the reason I haven't seen hide nor hair of him around town. The fault is either yours or Akane Tendos. Since I cannot name the culprit directly, I'll just punish you both and be done with it."
Her twisted laughter followed and continued on for several moments as the young woman lost control. There was no point in fighting it. The sickness took her mind and the only thing she became aware of for those endless moments was the laughter pouring from her lips as her body convulsed. It sank into her mind, threatening to destroy it and all Kodachi could do was keep laughing as though she'd heard the funniest joke in the world.
Ranma twitched, leveling a finger up at the girl. "You are even more clueless than I thought, ya know that? It's reality TV time, Kodachi! Tune in! Did you ever stop to think that he might be tryin' to avoid you like the plague?"
"Silence!" The insult was enough to help her restore control, at least for the moment. The vengeful girl flicked her ponytail over her shoulder with a short turn of her head. "You are more impertinent than all my other rivals combined! To even mention that my betrothed would not desire my company is a ludicrous statement at best! Oh, I shall so enjoy beating you into the ground for that."
A cocky grin spread on Ranma's face. "Beat me? I was the one who beat you at your own sport, remember?"
"Luck may befall anyone once. Die!" Seething, Kodachi leapt forward, her ribbon striking out like an extension of her own body.
As Ranma rolled to the right to avoid Kodachi's reach she couldn't help but remember the saying about how the more things change, the more they stayed the same. Over the last year and a half the life she had known had been violently turned upside down. In the middle of this ensuing nightmare, Nerima continued to assault her with its crazy ways as if nothing had changed at all. The Kuno clan was no exception. Unlike the rest of Ranma's friends and enemies, the two idiot siblings seemed to be caught in limbo, unable to change or grow up as the rest of the world ran by.
It was almost a relief to have a break from the intense training she'd been undergoing. Genma was built like a tank and could endure the strongest physical attacks Ranma had while dishing out a few of his own. It was just what Ranma needed to hone some of her skills, but sometimes the random normality brought on by Kuno sibling insanity was a breath of fresh air.
She dodged again, gracefully somersaulting backwards as the ribbon tried to coil around her like a python. Kodachi advanced and the yard became a battlefield as every gymnastics weapon she could carry came to bear on Ranma.
Ranma noted that Kodachi was unusually persistent this morning. Well, that was fine with her. The Kuno kids kept things interesting when nothing else was going on. Besides, she much preferred their presence to that of Taro, Mint, or Lime. The skirmish with those two a few months ago had hurt everyone more emotionally than physically. The wedding had been pushed back yet again, devastating Akane worst of all. The news of Herb killing his former guards in retribution for their betrayal hadn't made things any better. If anything, it left Ranma feeling empty and sick. As she continued to train to counter the next threat, the occasional appearance of the Kuno duo helped to remind her of a simpler time.
Jump! Ranma's feet cleared the ground as Kodachi's ribbon lashed harmlessly underneath. Rebounding off of the side of the house, Ranma sailed effortlessly beside her opponent at speed almost too fast to see. Ranma dod not advance her move sent a clear message that she could outmaneuver Kodachi at every turn.
It was not a message the angry girl understood.
"Are you taunting me! Why do you not fight back!?" Kodachi growled in frustration aiming for Ranma's head with knife-embedded batons.
"I don't like to hit girls," Ranma replied, easily dancing circles around the gymnast's more frenzied attacks.
"What utter nonsense! You're a girl too!" Kodachi's ribbon seemed to be everywhere at once. Ranma raised her leg as the object danced by. She rolled in midair and landed on all fours as the ribbon cut up and back again.
This is ridiculous! She just won't quit.
At one point dealing with a violent maniac like Kodachi might have been a bit of a chore, but after training so hard to prevail over so many terrible enemies, Ranma found it was now all too easy to evade her. However, Kodachi was still a terribly stubborn and persistent opponent and Ranma knew she didn't have the time or patience to wear her out physically.
Ranma reached out with her senses and felt another presence approaching.
Thinking hard, an idea came to her that seemed almost too ridiculous to work. It was a bit of a long shot but worth the risk. She'd still have to be on her guard though. Underestimating anyone and not taking a battle seriously could still be the prime ingredient for disaster. She had to let Kodachi obtain the upper hand in such a way that would bring about her undoing without really hurting her. Crazy or not, Ranma didn't want to cause more discomfort than she had to.
"I have you!" Faking left, Kodachi flicked her ribbon to the right, wrapping it snuggly around Ranma's right wrist. With a mighty tug, she pulled Ranma forward, spilling the girl onto the grass.
Guess this'll do for a starter. "Ya' know, all I wanted was a quiet morning at home," she grunted, trying to appear as though she was struggling to disentangle the ribbon's vice grip on her wrist as she rose to her feet.
Kodachi cackled again, sending the dogs in the neighborhood into a barking frenzy. "Oh you desire peace and quiet? Well, what place could possibly be quieter than the hospital? Allow me to help you on your way!" From behind her back she pulled out a small circular ring that was about half a foot long in diameter.
Taking aim with her free arm, she smiled with satisfaction. "My gymnastics class at St. Hebereke's designed this with you in mind. Please, enjoy!" She tossed the hoop like a Frisbee, aiming for the top of Ranma's head.
"What in the-!" To Ranma's amazement, the ring grew in size in less than instant. Falling down past her neck, the object condensed again around her chest, trapping her forearms against her bosom in a painful death grip.
"How in the hell did you make this stupid thing?!" Ranma cried through clenched teeth.
"Money can do amazing things," she replied smugly, retracting her ribbon with a flick of wrist.
"Ranma!" Throwing the screen door open, Akane Tendo looked at her fiancée with concern. As she turned to glare at Kodachi, her pretty face contorted with anger. "Let Ranma go, Kodachi! Right now!"
A disgusted look flashed across Kodachi's face. "And so enters the ugly tomboy. I can't tell you how revolting it is to hear that my husband-to-be and the Pigtailed Girl both have the same name. It's plain to see that you're both trying to keep him to yourselves. Well, I certainly can't allow that!"
"You're delusional mind is getting on my last nerves. I told you to let her go!" A dark gaze flared to life around Akane, shimmering as she harnessed her considerable battle aura. She took up battle stance.
Kodachi's ribbon wrapped around Ranma's ankles and with a tug, she had Ranma on the ground again, looking up at the sky. The cold morning dew soaked through her already wet shirt, and Ranma shivered, her teeth chattering.
"That's it…" Gritting her teeth, Akane took up her final attack stance. Physically she knew she could never match Kodachi in a prolonged battle, but when it came to energy attacks she was sure to win. "I'm going to send you packing!"
Glancing over at her fiancée, Ranma saw what she was about to do and began to truly struggle against her bonds for the first time that morning. "No Akane! You could seriously hurt her!"
"Oh yeah?! Maybe it'll knock a few screws back into place," she retorted.
Akane put up a tough front but Ranma could tell that her words had already started to take effect. Despite her temper, Akane was naturally a sweet girl by nature, often putting herself at risk to aide both friend and foe alike. The thought of actually really hurting even Kodachi was making her nervous.
"Akane," Ranma said gently, "that's enough, ok? Calm down."
Like a dying light, Akane's aura dimmed into nothingness. She turned to face Ranma again, her hands balling into fists at her sides. "Well, what do you expect me to do?!" she asked, utterly exasperated.
"If you attack now the house will get messed up again," Ranma reasoned. "Besides, energy attacks shouldn't be so carelessly used. It wouldn't be a fair fight."
"So I'm supposed to just stand here while that girl makes a fool of you?" Akane countered.
"No, dear. You can join her!" Kodachi called over.
Before Akane could move she felt a crushing pressure around her midsection. Looking down, she gasped as another hoop tightened around her, constricting her arms to her sides.
Her cheeks colored with embarrassment. "Great! Thanks for distracting me Ranma! Now look what's happened!"
A sly grin touched Ranma's lips giving pause to Akane's frustration. "Just be patient and wait a sec, would ya?"
"Victory," Kodachi purred, licked her lips and brought her ribbon up, snapping it taunt in both hands. "How to finish you off, I wonder?"
"Ranma, have you gone completely crazy!?" Akane inquired. ""Look, I can still use my legs. I'm going to try to take her down."
"Wait, Akane." Ranma said again, more firmly. "The cavalry has arrived."
She pointed with her nose towards the front of the house, her grin widening from ear to ear. Her baby blue eyes sparkled as if she knew something decisive was about to occur.
Akane heard the familiar sound of bare feet padding across the wooden floor of the house and suddenly it dawned on her who Ranma was waiting for, even before he opened the screen door and leapt outside.
"Akane Tendo! Pigtailed Girl! Fear not, like the knights of old, I, Blue Thunder, shall defeat this wretched beast and save you both!"
A vein appeared on Kodachi's head as she took in this latest disturbance. "Who is a 'wretched beast', brother dear? I would choose your words a bit more carefully if I were you. Remember, it's my turn to cook tonight."
"Oh Kuno, please save us!" Plastering a look of fear on her face, Ranma looked at him with widened eyes, doing her best to play the part of the maiden in distress. "She's too strong!"
"Ha! Fret not my love, the only thing that will bind either of you is the red string of fate which is tied to my heart! Yaah!"
With three well placed strikes, the air pressure created by his bokken cut Ranma and Akane free from their restraints.
"You dolt!" Kodachi seethed. "I finally had her! You ruined my plans for the last time!"
Kuno elevated his sword at his sister. "Dare you to criticize me, your better half!? Sister or not, do not think I won't take you to task for your barbaric behavior this morning!"
A predatory grin crossed his little sister's face. "Let's see you try, shall we?"
"Very well sister! Have at you!"
As the two siblings clashed, Ranma motioned for Akane to follow him into the house. Closing the screen door behind her, Akane ran a hand through her short blue hair, brushing off rain drops. "What now?" she asked, awaiting Ranma's plan to solve the situation.
"Well, first I'm going to go grab a quick shower before I catch a cold, then I plan on eating breakfast. Knowing Kasumi and Mom, they're probably cooking up quite a feast right now."
Akane blinked. "Umm, so you're just going to let those two go at it outside in the yard? What kind of an idea is that?!"
Now it was Ranma's turn to look surprised. "Akane, the situation is over. What are you so perplexed about?"
Akane held her head in her hand. "Look, you've been acting strange today. Normally you'd have sent them both off by now. First you let Kodachi get the best of you and then you distract me from kicking her butt. What gives? And don't beat around the bush anymore. I want a straight answer."
Ranma folded her arms across her chest. "I am not beating around the bush. I would have thought it would be obvious why I let that mess go like it did."
A quizzed look crossed Akane's face. "I don't understand."
Ranma held up her finger. "I'll admit I didn't expect Kodachi to use a new trick like that hoop thing, but everything else went to plan. The truth is that we've really become too strong to fight her so I had to use a different method to preoccupy her while we got away. If I had fought her, girl against girl, I'd have really hurt her. That's why I stopped you from firing that ki blast."
"She was planning on hurting you in case you didn't notice, Akane retorted. "And unlike you, it didn't look like she had any reservations about doing so. You're just lucky Kuno came by when he did."
"Uh-uh." Ranma shook her head. "Can you remember a time when Kodachi came around that Kuno didn't follow shortly after? I knew he would come, especially if Kodachi was walking around her house and muttering her plans like she usually does. He's an idiot but he's got enough smarts to watch out for his little sister at least. I felt him coming from across town."
Akane looked unsure. "You mean to tell me that you felt his presence from that distance, with everything going on?"
"Yeah. It's hard to miss such a bloated ego. When I knew for sure that it was him, I dropped into that helpless Cinderella mode to spur him on."
"So you used him," Akane accused.
Ranma brought both hands up defensively. "No harm done by it. Those two fight all the time anyways. They'll bruise each other up and go home in no time. Then we won't have to worry about them for a while."
"You're amazing," Akane said, shaking her head. Abruptly, she began to giggle. "You're really something else."
Encouraged by her laughter, Ranma flashed her own large, toothy grin. "Nothin' special. Well, I'm off for a shower. I'll be down in a bit. Man, I'm starved!"
Akane rolled her eyes. "You're always starved."
"A moment Pigtailed Girl!"
Bruised and the worse for wear, the victorious older Kuno sibling appeared, breathing hard on the outer deck of the house. Gone was his boasting, prideful nature that he'd displayed mere minutes before while facing down his sister. Upon inspection Ranma noticed that something wasn't quite right with the young man. He seemed almost desperate as he approached but he kept a distance from them. It was quite a turnaround from his run-and-hug approach he normally applied towards the two of them.
"I don't have time to spend on you," Ranma replied to cut off any possible attempt he might make to ask her on a date before the words could come from his mouth. "I'm going to be late for school."
"Forgive me dearest," Kuno said, looking serious. "I need to talk to that vile… I mean, the other Ranma."
"Please," Kuno said, betraying some inner conflict. Suddenly Ranma understood. His entire entrance before his short fight with Kodachi had been an act. Something was wrong and Ranma was sure she didn't want to be involved. There was enough going on in her life already.
"The other Ranma?" Akane blinked. "You mean you came over today to see Ranma and not to stop Kodachi?"
"I had no clue she was over here, sweet Akane," Kuno replied quickly. "Forgive me but this matter is important. If I could just-"
"No." Ranma said with finality. "Not now, anyway. We're going to be late and you are holding us up."
Kuno seemed to slump a bit but he nodded. "Would you pass on the message I would like to talk to him later? I assure you the matter is most important."
For some reason the haggard look and panicked, darting eyes unnerved Ranma to her core. "Yeah… sure."
Nodding his head in thanks, Kuno turned to go as Kodachi barreled past him, her face a mask of rage. Equally the worse for wear, she chose to ignore her brother and take advantage of a second chance at a surprise attack. "This isn't over!"
She had a gymnastics baton in her hand. A blade appeared from the fat end and suddenly it was cutting through the air, aiming right for Akane. With no time to even cry out in warning, Ranma pushed her palm out and fired off a ki blast, disintegrating the offensive weapon. Unfortunately, in her haste to save her fiancée' Ranma hadn't taken into account what would happen next. The beam struck Kodachi dead on and carried her screaming body off of the property and at least two blocks away as she disappeared from sight.
"Oh no…" Ranma paled and ran to the edge of the house, standing on the deck. There was a sudden image of energy cutting through Kodachi's body while hurling her into a brick wall or building that caused Ranma to falter with guilt and apprehension. Her blue eyes widened in fear and she prepared to hop across the guard and give pursuit.
Kuno appeared at her side, watching as his sister disappeared from view and nodding approvingly. "Nice distance."
Ranma spun frantically, grabbing the man's blue robes and pulling him down to her eye level which left the tall man with his knees on the ground. "Are you crazy?! She could really be hurt! I didn't mean to actually hit her!"
Kuno patted her hands and was released for his efforts. He stood up to his full height and turned to go. "You have nothing to worry about. I assure you that she's far tougher than she looks."
"How you can be so heartless towards your own-"
Kuno cut Ranma off with an intense look. It gave pause to her legs. "If I thought she was injured, I'd already be rushing to her side."
"But," Akane started to interject but Kuno turned to look at her. "That wasn't something someone could just walk away from…"
"If the Pigtailed Girl had not done that then it would have been you who would have been injured, Akane Tendo. I'm more than sure she's fine. Besides, Kodachi needs a lesson in humility."
Akane and Ranma looked at each other and fell silent. For once the wananbe swordsman had a point. The conviction in his tone pacified Ranma and the panic faded to mere concern. Kuno knew his sister better than anyone. If he said she was fine, then that was good enough for her.
"I'll do my best to keep her away in the future. Please do not forget your promise. The matter really is urgent." Nodding his head in parting, Kuno leapt over the house wall.
"What do you think that was all about?" Akane asked, looking back at the small red-head in confusion.
"Hell if I know," Ranma muttered, rubbing her arms. "I'm going to take a shower before I catch my death of cold. I think I've had my quota of crazy for the day."
Casting an irritated glance towards the wall where both siblings had departed from minutes apart, Ranma sneezed and made her way quickly towards the bathroom and the waiting hot water.