Some fun times with these idiots. We tried being shippy, but since neither of us has much experience in relationships, we might not have done a good job.

One day in mid-December, long-lost twins were making plans. It was their first Christmas together in over a decade, and they intended to stay together all day.

"Who else is coming?" Revan asked, and he heard Rowena make a thinking sound over the phone.

"Selena, if she can get away from her parents," she told him. "Niles will probably be here, too, Leo and Camilla are both going to be there."

"So, Niles and Camilla are...?"

"Yes," Rowena confirmed, "but he mostly just likes making Garon angry. Elise isn't dating anybody, and I don't know where Mozu stands. She's closing the bakery, I know, but that's because the other baker is married and she wants Mercedes to spend the holiday with her husband." He could practically hear her rolling her eyes. "Garon doesn't have a date, so that's good news, but his money's on Christmas in the when-will-Xander-propose betting pool."

"Should I bring presents?"

"Don't need to," she answered at once. "They aren't your siblings. But speaking of, what are the other Hoshido siblings up to for the holiday?"

"Pretending Mom's still around," he told her at once. "Not sure how many of their love interests are coming. I know Subaki might show up for the booze later on, he's introducing Hinoka to his own parents. And I think Ryoma's planning on topping Orochi's present-in-a-present prank from last year, he's been hoarding boxes since May."

"Xander and Leo got Garon a massage chair," Rowena told him, "I can get him the box from that. But what about Sakura? Does she have a love interest?"

"She admits to having a crush," Revan admitted, "but the only thing she ever confirmed was that it was a guy. Freaks out a little when we ask for more details, even if it's just his hair color."

"Ah, Sakura." Rowena barely knew her, and the fondness in her voice was unmistakable. "I wouldn't worry. She's old enough to date, after all. What's the harm in her going out on a Saturday night?"

"This is a t-terrible idea," Sakura said seriously, looking up at the building in front of her with dread in her eyes. She was wearing a brown wig that brushed her shoulders, and hugging her cherry blossom shaped purse.

Elise, much calmer about the situation, simply shrugged it off. "We're just going into a bar, Sakura," she promised. "We're not going to drink or anything. I just want to see where Niles works, he's always telling stories about it."

Elise, too, had changed her appearance to sell the idea - she'd let her hair loose from its usual pigtails, and was passing for 20 with little trouble. The combination of ditching the childish hairstyle and the thin strips of purple dye helped sell the illusion, but she'd still chosen strawberry-print heels to add some height.

"A-And you're sure that he's not working tonight?"

"Nope! He and Camilla have a date!"

"And why couldn't we just take your mom out for ice cream?"

Elise clicked her tongue. "Sounds like someone doesn't want to meet cute older guys," she taunted, and Sakura's face went red.

"I..." she swallowed. "I have siblings to in-introduce me to cute older guys," she hissed, and Elise cackled.

"So do I," Elise reminded her. "But Niles told me that there's a guy that shows up with a new date every other Saturday...I think he said his name's Yuri? He said he's 'damn attractive' and I need to get a look!"

"And I g-got involved because...?"

"Because two cute girls are better than one!"

"Are you sure you w-want a guy who ch-changes dates every few weeks?"

"No. But there's nothing against looking!"

"But what if he doesn't take no for an answer?"

"That's why I have a taser!" Elise linked her arm with Sakura's and pulled her inside, where the loud noises and the crowds immediately made Sakura wish that Elise had chosen Lysithea instead.

No guy was cute enough for this.

"And you're sure that drunk script writing is a good idea?" Saizo asked, and Kaze shook his head.

"I'm absolutely sure that it's a terrible idea," he answered as he pulled into the parking lot.

"So why are we here?"

"Because." Kaze parked the car and turned to his brother, desperate. "I learned how to film a scene like the uncomfortable montage in the Deadpool movie today, Saizo. I'm an effects guy and they have me working on filming."

"When he's killing the henchmen?"

"No. When he and his girlfriend..." Kaze made a gesture that may or may not have been obscene - Saizo had never actually seen it before. "The demonstration didn't involve real 'action' of course. But they decided to make it as convincing as possible. I would like to forget ever witnessing that."

Saizo had no real objections. The brothers entered the building, and as soon as they sat down, they noticed two young women around a purple-haired person and the person's date, a tall man with dark hair and impressive muscles. Even as they watched, the purple-haired one shook their head and said something Kaze couldn't quite make out.

"He's saying that the other guy is there to pick up girls," Saizo said when he noticed his twin was people-watching again. He'd always been better at reading lips than his brother, but Kaze had always been naturally stealthier. "That they're not a couple."

Kaze nodded, but he was focused on the girls instead. There was something familiar about the brunette...and the blonde...

The blonde smiled, a bright smile that wiped most thought from Kaze's brain as he recalled where he'd seen her face before. She was one of the girls trapped in the slinky in that YouTube video, the one in the fluffy lolita-style dress. Who knew the leader of the Slinky Brigade (as she called her subscribers) lived here in Emblemme?

A few tables away, even Sakura was having a bit of fun. Yuri was, in fact, damn attractive, and his friend Balthus had nice hair. There was nothing wrong with looking at cute guys, as long as they didn't touch. For at least a few months, her brain added, and she hoped that the lighting was dim enough to hide her blushing at the thought.

Then Yuri asked a simple question that brought Sakura out of her embarrassment and into her usual state of panic: "How old are you, anyway?"

"Twenty," Elise answered, as if she'd practiced all day for this.

"Eighteen," squeaked Sakura, who hadn't even thought of planning out her fake age.

Yuri had looked suspicious when he'd first seen them, but now he seemed to be onto them completely. "And you didn't think to bring fake IDs to a bar?" he asked, and Balthus snorted with laughter.

Elise shrugged. "I have older siblings," she told him, which was, after all, the truth. "They told me it was fun here. I guess I got a little impatient."

"Trust me," said Balthus, "bars aren't fun unless you have a mug in your hand."

"Or someone on your arm," Yuri added.

"Or someone on your arm," Balthus agreed, reaching for Yuri as a joke.

Yuri smacked his hand down. "Never touch me." He looked over at the girls, then back at his friend. "Should we buy the ladies a drink, then?"

"Buying booze for the underage?" Elise gasped, pretending to be offended.

Yuri smiled innocently, a Prince Charming straight from a picture book. "I was thinking more along the lines of hot chocolate," he told them.

"We're g-going to have to turn that down," Sakura said quickly, ignoring Elise's disappointed groan. Yuri coughed to disguise his own laugh, but Sakura wasn't paying attention. "We came to see if it was r-really as int-inter..." a pause, "as int-int-in-inter-"

Sakura groaned in exasperation as she struggled to speak. Elise, having been her friend since middle school, just nodded along as if it made sense.

"You're getting it," she said, and no one knew if it was encouragement or a friendly insult.

Sakura tried saying 'interesting' a few more times, and then gave up completely. "as fun as her siblings made it sound, but..."

Then Sakura felt a hand on her shoulder, and yelped in surprise. Looking up at the man who had grabbed her, she couldn't help herself but to relent. "Um...hi, Saizo."

Balthus, seeing a scary-looking man approach a young girl, had gotten to his feet, but Yuri held him back. He was confident that his friend could take the newcomer out, so what was the harm in observing for a while to see if it was necessary? Besides, the girl seemed to know the man.

"Sakura." The gruff voice was exactly what Yuri and Balthus had expected to hear. "What are you doing in a bar? You're in high school."

"Only for a-another few months," Sakura protested. "And it's not just a bar. They have stuff with no al-alcohol in it."

"That doesn't explain why you and your friend are talking to strange men."

"Good-looking men!" Elise protested.

"Not helping," Sakura nervously told her friend.

Elise turned back to the guys, apologetic. "Sorry, he's a friend of her brothers."

Saizo looked her over. "Are you Elise, or one of Elise's sisters?"

"And how d-did you even r-recognize me with the wig?" Sakura asked, even as Saizo pulled her away.

"I saw your stutter."

Sakura cringed. Done in by it twice in one night. Maybe she should have taken the speech therapy after all. Elise waved goodbye to the guys, mildly disappointed that she couldn't accept Yuri's offer.

"Kaze!" Saizo called, distracting his brother from whatever thoughts were going through his brain. He shoved the girls forward. "These two aren't supposed to be here."

Elise opened her mouth to point out that they only asked for ID when selling booze, but it died on her tongue as she saw Kaze for the first time.

He was almost as pretty as Yuri. His hair was certainly as nice. His face was almost symmetrical, contrasting the scars of the other man, and he only seemed about Rowena's age. And, like her sister, he had clear Japanese ancestry.

"Hi," was all she said instead.

She knew that this place would be a good way to meet cute guys. She just didn't expect to see so many in one day.

It was, she decided as they dropped her off at her house before going to scold Sakura, almost worth it.

"My high school daughter was in a bar?"

Garon was pacing around in front of the couch, and his older four children watched from various spots around the room, letting Elise sink further into the cushions in shame. "I didn't drink anything," she protested quietly. "Not even hot chocolate."

"For all we know, it was spiked! You're fifteen, Elise!"

"I'm seventeen!"

"Then I'm less concerned," Garon decided, "but I'm still furious. I mean, people will start judging me as a parent and you as a child! What if you got pregnant? You're friends with Flayn, and apples don't fall too far from the tree, and one bad apple and all that..."

"I've never even dated before," Elise protested. "Well...once, I guess...but he never called again!"

"That's not important! Pregnancy isn't the only consequence of underage drinking! You could end up like me! Or worse, you could end up using..." he shuddered. "Slang."

Elise lost her train of thought. "Slang?" she repeated, not sure she heard properly

"Slang!" Garon repeated. "That terrible thing kids do when, instead of speaking with real words and complete sentences, you say things like 'bae,' or 'yolo,' or 'what's crack-a-lackin' homie?' It's terrible, and it breaks the Seventh Commandment - 'Thou shalt not butcher the English language.'"

"I'm pretty sure that's not in the Bible anywhere," said Elise.

Leo was already looking it up. "Nope," he said after another moment. "The Seventh Commandment is 'Thou shalt not commit adultery.'"

Elise snorted. Even Garon admitted defeat. "Well, that ship sailed," he chuckled, before returning to the point. "Maybe it's not in the Bible. But if you start drinking, you'll start using slang, like...yeet."

Xander flinched back. "I hate that word," he said to himself.

No one commented. "I promise I won't use meme slang," Elise said quickly. "And I promise that I won't go into a bar again. Happy?"

Garon stared down at her. "Pinky promise?" he asked, remembering how seriously Elise took pinky promises all through middle school.

Elise, as seriously as ever, raised both pinky fingers. "Pinky promise."

Garon looked her over, and seeing no sign of deception, relented. "Then I'll let you off with a lecture...this time."

"You got it," said Elise, and went off to film her next video while her father went to the kitchen to get a beer. Xander followed her up the stairs, and Rowena followed him.

"Good morning to the Slinky Brigade!" they heard her say in her usual cheerful voice from behind her door. "I don't have footage, but I have a story. The time I met three great-looking guys in one night. Picture it...great hair, awesome abs you could see through his shirt...and that was the least good-looking of the three. The others - gorgeous."

"I'm worried about her," Rowena said as she stopped at the closed bedroom door. "She doesn't even seem to regret what she did."

"Dad knows she's almost an adult," Xander explained, though the frown told her that he wasn't so certain of that fact himself. "He knows that she likes boys and thinks that if his own romantic history was any clue, she can't be stopped."

"I guess we'll have to trust her judgment on things."

Xander smiled slightly. "Heaven help us all."

Rowena laughed as she followed him down the hall. "Game tonight?"

"In the basement," Xander confirmed. "Odin is finally allowed in the house again."

"Can I join?" She bounced in place a bit, obviously excited. "I've been wanting to try it for a while, but since my only real friends are my family and Jakob and Gunter..."

"What about your birth family? And Silas?" Xander wasn't telling her no, but he was saying it like a warning. "I would like to let you try, Rowena, but we're halfway through the campaign and Peri is...eager to kill off her players."

"Not an issue," Rowena promised. "I can be there to help you, and then stop playing when I die. Then maybe I'll ask my birth family and Silas if we can throw a game together."

"Very well," said Xander, in the 'don't say I didn't warn you' tone of any caring big brother.

Peri accepted immediately, throwing her arms around Rowena in an excited hug that the young prosecutor was too surprised to fight. Rowena had heard stories of Peri but had never met her - the horror game enthusiast and sadistic DM was, apparently, fond of pastel colors.

"We're going to have fun tonight!" Peri cheered, and pulled a binder from the beaten-up backpack she carried. "Selena can probably let you borrow some dice. Xander, can you show her how to roll a character?" She grinned proudly. "You'd have the most experience."

"And who was it that put a level 15 monster for level 5 players?" Xander challenged. Peri merely laughed. Xander ignored it, instead choosing to help his sister get used to things and putting her character together.

When Selena showed up with Laslow and Odin, Peri immediately asked her if she could lend Rowena a set of dice. Selena agreed, but spent her time carefully selecting which ones to give her, as Rowena's mouth fell open at the sight of her enormous collection.

"We use the 'unchosen' - Odin's words - to represent monsters," Xander told her quietly, a fondness in his voice for the redheaded goblin pawing through her collection.

He was the one who noticed one of the dice falling off the table, as Selena herself was handing a handful of purple glittery ones to Rowena. He got down to pick it up for her, and Garon opened the door to the basement stairs, only to see the small crowd around his son and potential daughter-in-law. He saw Xander on the ground and holding a small object out for Selena to see.

"Not now," Garon groaned, whatever had made him open that door gone from his mind. "Wait until Christmas!"

"But I have plans!" Peri complained. It was incredible, Laslow thought with an amused smile, how she could sound like she was in tears at a moment's notice - or the slightest inconvenience. "They were gonna fight a skeleton army! And rats! Lots and lots of rats!"

"Wait until Christmas?" Xander repeated, getting to his feet.

Garon got a better look at the item in his oldest child's hand, and cringed in embarrassment, sending his adopted daughter into a fit of laughter that had her sinking into a chair. "Never mind," he mumbled, and turned around. "Stay out of my liquor cabinet. Buy your own drinks."

The door closed. Xander looked back at Rowena, who was practically hiccupping with laughter. "What did he mean, wait until Christmas?"

Rowena sucked in a breath, and patted his hand. "If you don't know, Xander," she taunted, "then you must not know your family as well as you think. Now...what's a tiefling, and what can it do?"

"And then your obnoxious pet trapped my girlfriend in the bathroom," Ashe finished, as Jonah and Petra looked rightfully ashamed. "She refused to come out until it was gone."

"What's your point?" said Jonah. It was rare to see Ashe angry. Rare, kind of scary, and really funny.

"My point is, she took a knife in there, and I'm hoping that she's carving a soap bar into an animal and not carving swear words into the shower."

"Hapi is difficult to be predicting," Petra admitted as she put a leash on her turkey. "But surely Turkey behaved otherwise."

"You'd be wrong." Ashe held out a broom. "It ate the broom."

"Did you try to chase him with it?" Jonah asked.

"Only because it tried to eat my couch and trapped Hapi in the bathroom."

"Did you or Hapi do anything to offend Turkey?"

Ashe stared at him for a few moments, and then spoke with so much uncharacteristic sarcasm that Jonah was genuinely impressed that he didn't choke on it. "Well, we didn't let him invite his girlfriend over."

"Of course he'd be mad about that," Jonah replied, as if he didn't notice the tone.

Ashe took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and returned to his usual voice. "I can't pet sit anymore. There are too many bad memories with that bird."

"But you're literally the last person who would," Jonah protested. "Everyone else refused to spend their day off turkey-sitting. Hubert even said that the next time he saw Turkey he'd make him into a display."

"Jonah." Ashe had lost his anger and was now almost sad. "It always scares me when Hubert and I agree on something. It shocks me to my core. But if I have to see that bird again...I might give it to Hubert."

Petra frowned. "Perhaps Turkey is too wild to be a pet," she admitted. Her lip trembled, and Ashe flinched back, but he did not say that he only meant to quit pet sitting for them. She knelt down to meet the bird's eyes. "Do you only have the respect for me because I proved to be your equal in battle?" Turkey stared, not understanding. "Then I shall return you to where I found you. Jonah?"

He thanked Ashe for pet sitting, wished him luck with Hapi, and led the woman and the bird away.

Only half an hour later, the couple was parked on the side of the road. Petra unhooked the turkey from the leash, and he ran forward, pleased to be in the wild once more.

"I give him until November," Jonah commented.

"I would like to see them try," Petra said seriously, and they headed back to the apartment, making a note to buy Ashe a new broom on the way back.

"And you're sure you want to spend the holiday at Nohr Manor?" Ryoma asked as Revan tossed Rowena's Christmas present in the back of the car. He'd gotten her a new briefcase, making up for the incident with the cookies.

"Do you want me here?" Revan asked as an answer. "I can stay if I have to, but I already planned for this."

"You're free to go wherever you wish," Ryoma promised, "but you don't know these people, and they knew the man who..." he paused. "They knew Iago," he told him.

"Rowena knew Iago, too," Revan pointed out. "Are you saying she's a bad person?"

"Of course not, she's one of us. But -"

"Then you shouldn't worry." He tightened his grip on the keys, barely seeming to notice them leaving imprints in his hand. "Besides. Them knowing Iago is just what I was hoping to investigate while I'm there. Iago knew of dragons. What's to say his employers didn't know of them, too?"

"Your obsession with dragons has become slightly concerning," Ryoma said, and removed a folded-up paper from his pocket. "I found this by the fireplace. 'Dear Santa, I have been a very good boy this year. All I want for Christmas is a freaking lead.'"

"He'd better leave it in my stocking, or I'll be very upset."

Ryoma recognized the joking tone, but the concern in his eyes was genuine. "Not even Sakura believes in Santa anymore."

"Still." Revan took the letter from his brother and put it in his own pocket. "If Garon knows anything about the dragons, I'll find it. Hans is in jail and Iago is dead, but Garon still has potential."

Ryoma realized that there was nothing he could do to stop his brother from doing this. "Promise me you'll be careful," he said, and Revan nodded.

"And you promise me you'll get Orochi's reaction to her present on video for me." He grinned. "It'll be so much better than the three boxes she got you with last year."

"Twelve and counting," Ryoma said with a chuckle, and waved as his brother started on his way.

Rowena greeted him at the door this time. Jakob, apparently, was in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on Christmas dinner.

"He gets creative during the holidays," she explained as she led him inside. "He finds new ideas online, decides on everything himself, and then makes us all eat it."

"I thought Garon would be in charge of the menu."

"He only gives the final ok. Luckily, this time Jakob's doing simple lamb chops."

Revan's face fell. "I don't eat lamb chops," he told her. "Not since the petting zoo."

Rowena didn't recall any petting zoo incidents, but she was sympathetic to the situation. "I'm sure we can find something else," she said as Jakob entered with the dish in question.

Jakob wasn't happy with someone rejecting his hard work. "Yes," he said sarcastically, "I'm sure there are some dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets wedged in the back of the freezer for the manchild."

Rowena frowned. "Jakob," she warned, and he fell silent at the scolding. "What did we talk about?"

"My apologies," Jakob said after a moment. Revan wasn't sure if he was talking to him or Rowena.

"Are you going to try that again?"

Jakob put down the lamb chops, then turned back to face Revan. "I'm sure we have some dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets in the back of the freezer," he said in a much nicer tone.

Rowena, apparently, decided this was good enough.

Jonah wasn't used to living in calm.

When he'd first moved out of his dad's RV, he'd been in college and had ended up as Hubert Vestra's roommate. At the time, he'd been convinced that Hubert was a vampire, not helped when Hubert had done things like make a batch of edible fake blood and eat it with a spoon while watching crime documentaries. He'd stopped tormenting Jonah when they'd fought the entire football team together and won, and when Jonah had helped Hubert get a girlfriend, they had become friends, which led to much less peace than ever before.

When he'd graduated, he'd moved in with his sister again. With Jeralt living in the parking lot, giving his children just enough space to be independent, it was just like childhood with more space. When Petra had moved in and Joanna got involved with a single dad, the chaos had only increased, up to them getting evicted.

Now that Turkey was gone and Joanna was living with Seteth and Flayn, the apartment was too quiet. Which was why Jonah decided to do what he did.

"Merry Christmas, Petra," he called, and she looked up from polishing her axe. When Jonah brought in a brown dog, only seven months old, she squeaked in delight and put the weapon away.

"Is this ours to keep?" she asked, reaching down to let the excitable animal sniff her hand.

"I figured we needed some chaos," he decided. "Keeping a wild turkey was a really bad idea, but I figured you'd like a hunting dog."

Petra studied the dog carefully. "It looks like the dog is a mixture of breeds," she told him.

"He's got hunting dog in him," Jonah corrected himself. He patted the dog's head, getting his hand licked in response. "I'm thinking we should name him Turkey."

Orochi had smiled when she'd found the second box. She'd laughed when she'd found the fourth box. She'd laughed harder when she'd found the sixth.

Now she was on box number ten, and it turned out even her sense of humor had a limit.

"Ryoma," she said, "I love you and your family, but I swear, if this was just a way to give me, I don't know, the keys to a new car or something..."

"It isn't," Ryoma promised, even as Sakura recorded the event for Revan. "You requested that I not buy you expensive gifts without a purpose."

"It better not be," Orochi muttered in a mock threat as she opened the eleventh box.

Box number twelve had her real present - a ring and a note asking for marriage.

She was silent for far too long for Ryoma's liking, moving the box and watching the ring sparkle. Then, finally, she looked up at him and smiled brightly.

"How could I say no to someone who proposed with a prank?"

"It was Hinoka's idea," he admitted as Orochi moved to throw her arms around his neck. "I asked my siblings what they would do in this situation, and she was the only one with a decent idea."

"Hmm..." Orochi looked at the ring again. "Maybe I should say yes to her instead..."

"Not interested, sorry," said Hinoka, to Subaki's amusement. "This isn't TV, straight tomboys exist."

"And I'm glad for it," Subaki teased, putting an arm around her shoulders. "Who else can piss off parents who planned out their son's whole life and told him to pick up a housewife?"

"Then I guess I'll settle for the better-looking sibling," Orochi taunted, and silenced Ryoma's irritated remark with a kiss.

As they all sat down for dinner, Revan waited for the chance to bring up his main mission. Finally, when Garon asked what he'd been up to since the cookie incident, he saw his chance.

"I've been doing some investigation work," he said, and Garon lowered his fork, concerned. "Looking into dragons."

"As in mythology?"

"No. Real ones."

"I'm afraid you won't find any real dragons around here," Camilla said gently.

"Not unless you count your mother," Garon told her with a roar of laughter, and Camilla herself smiled along.

Revan ignored the joke. "Iago mentioned dragons before he went to prison, and then he died. I'm thinking it's more of a criminal organization than a fire-breathing lizard."

Garon grew serious. "If it's a criminal organization," he said slowly, "you would want to stay out of it. For your safety."

"I'm not a child," Revan insisted.

That was when Jakob planted a plate in front of him, filled with microwaved dinosaur nuggets. "Your dinner, sir," he said with an icy smile.

"Nuggies!" Revan cheered, ignoring Jakob's tone, before picking one up with his fingers and biting its head off.

"Not a child, he says," Garon grumbled, before turning to Rowena, who had been silently watching her brother the whole time. "See? It was a rescue after all."

Rowena's response was to pick up her plate. "I'll be eating in my room," she announced, and marched out the door. Revan picked up his dinosaur nuggets and followed.

"Is every family dinner this awkward?" Mozu asked uncertainly, and Leo shrugged.

"Dad and Rowena are on rocky terms," he explained. "I don't blame her. She stuck around for us."

"And why didn't we go to your mom's instead?"

"Lots of reasons," said Leo, who did not want to explain the Julia situation just yet. Luckily, Mozu didn't press the issue.

"I'm sorry about Garon," said Rowena, stabbing her lamb chop with her fork a bit more roughly than usual. "He's been trying to buy back my love lately."

"But you do love him," Revan observed.

Rowena went quiet. "I loved the man I thought he was," she admitted. "Back when the story was that I was an orphan plucked from a car crash, and not a kidnap victim. I wish Mom - it still sounds weird to say - could know about how good I had it here."

"She'd thank Garon for it," Revan said seriously. "The adoption may have been illegal, and wrong, and a bad thing all around, but you grew up with a parent that tried and good siblings. If she had died with Dad, she would have preferred that."

"I'm sure she would have preferred a stepmom that lasted, instead of Katerina and Arete."

Revan stopped eating, a dinosaur nugget head halfway to his mouth. "Arete?" he repeated, hearing the name for the first time. "That was the name of the widow Garon was dating when Katerina came back?"

"Yes?"

"Did you ever meet her?"

She shook her head. "They never officially met each other's kids. We were preparing for it, but then the whole mess with Katerina happened." She gave him her courtroom stare. "Did you know a widow named Arete?"

"Know one? I knew her - Arete was my aunt. Our aunt. Azura's mom." He resumed eating, pretending not to notice Rowena's open-mouthed stare. "Azura's dad died when we were three. Mom used to watch Azura when her sister started dating again - it must've been Garon."

"Damn it, Garon," Rowena muttered, to Revan's amusement. "So...what happened to her?"

Revan put down his plate, taking the situation seriously. "She got sick," he told her. "She was diagnosed with soap opera syndrome and passed on when Azura was seventeen. She never remarried, or had another kid. Azura's the last of that branch of the family tree, and she's..."

He stopped. Azura's own diagnosis was a secret between the two, something neither had told Silas about yet despite agreeing they should. Azura would tell everyone on her own time. Whatever time she had left.

Fortunately, he was spared from answering when Jakob knocked on the door. "Rowena, Niles has decided to make everyone a drink he calls 'Piss and vinegar.' Your father has had four of them. It's only been twenty minutes. Please stop him."

And that was the end of that conversation, as Revan was curious to find out what Niles had renamed into that.

It was a lemon martini, but that wasn't the point of the conversation.

The morning of December 26, Ferdinand went to visit his father.

It was no secret that the two had a complicated relationship. To say Ludwig had disapproved of his son's marriage was an understatement, but when he'd seen that Ferdinand was willing to give up the luxury lifestyle that he'd grown up with for Dorothea, he'd given him a job at the security company he owned as a wedding gift. So when he'd offered to pay Ferdinand to house-sit while he was out of town for the week, Ferdinand saw it as a step toward an apology.

Dorothea saw it as an attempt to bribe him into leaving her, but Ferdinand had loudly declared that he loved her, he was unbribeable, and that any attempts to sway him would fall on deaf ears.

She believed him, but it was nice to hear. Even if it was much more long-winded than she needed.

Still, when her father-in-law opened the door and had the same reaction to seeing her that he had when seeing a particularly moldy vegetable, she knew she'd been right.

Luckily, Ludwig didn't comment, which meant Ferdinand would be oblivious to the whole thing. "As you know, I will be up in northern California for...business." Dorothea snapped to attention when she noticed the hesitation. Neither of the men noticed. "I will be returning in a week. Ferdinand, your childhood bedroom is still presentable. She can sleep in any of the guest bedrooms."

"Wow, an upgrade," Dorothea muttered, only to get a slight nudge from her husband telling her to hush. But it wasn't the sarcasm he thought it was - as the daughter of a maid adopted by a high school music teacher, the classist attitude wasn't new.

"We're married," Ferdinand said instead. "I believe that we're entitled to -"

"I know your status," Ludwig snapped. "However, I don't want you to treat this as some kind of second honeymoon. You are here on my terms, and my terms are that you are to pretend you aren't married for the length of your stay."

Dorothea opened her mouth to imply that maybe she and Ferdinand hadn't waited until marriage before sharing a bed, but thought better of it. She wanted to be here, after all - when else was she going to be living in a rich guy's house? Ferdinand wouldn't see a cent of his father's money until the man was dead and buried, and that could take years.

So she stayed silent as the men went over the rules of house-sitting. They were allowed to watch his TV, but not to access the pay-per-view channels. They were allowed to eat his food, but were to only take what they were used to eating in their 'poverty.' Dorothea clenched her teeth at the term - they had a normal life for a security camera guy and a TV weather girl, they were not poor.

But the final rule kept her mouth shut. "No shenanigans." He left soon after giving the rule, and as soon as she saw the car leave, she turned to Ferdinand with a big smile.

"So," she said sweetly. "Are you up for any shenanigans?"

She eyed the priceless antiques decorating the room. Ferdinand considered, but decided against it.

"He would never talk to us again," he explained, and Dorothea huffed.

"You're no fun, Ferdie," she grumped, but approached the man's paper shredder. "You're not gonna stop me from putting together a few puzzles, are you?"

"Not at all. Snoop away," he said, ignoring the fact that it was probably illegal.

Permission granted, Dorothea cackled in glee as she dug through the papers. And she didn't move for three hours, until she finally pieced together one single paper.

And taken a photo while Ferdinand was making them popcorn for a movie night on a bigger screen than the one at their place.

December 27 was the day Seteth turned thirty-five.

His day began with confusion when Joanna wasn't there, then concern at the smell of food coming from the kitchen down the hall. The confusion ended when he remembered that Joanna was a capable chef if she had a recipe, but the concern only increased when he heard the sound of two feminine laughs.

Walking into the kitchen, he saw (thankfully) Joanna making pancakes while Flayn poured milk into a glass. And, to his immense relief, they were not talking about him.

"...and then the turkey trapped Ashe's girlfriend in the bathroom," Joanna finished, as Flayn wiped tears of laughter from her eyes. "That's when they finally realized that wild turkeys don't make good pets."

"I'm glad I missed that one," Seteth commented, and the ladies froze.

"I was going to surprise you with a breakfast in bed," Joanna complained, as Seteth barely suppressed a smile. "You're usually out of bed first, I thought I'd take advantage of the situation."

"A nice idea in theory," Seteth admitted, "but after years as a single father, any sound or smell from the kitchen when I'm not there worries me."

"Understandable," said Joanna, flipping the pancake in the skillet onto the plate. She poured in more batter, then turned her attention to giving Seteth a quick kiss, as if they were married. "Happy birthday, anyway."

"Can't that wait until after we eat?" Flayn complained, only half serious. She loved her father, and if dating her favorite teacher made him happy, she wasn't going to object. But there were some things all teenagers found revolting, even ones that regularly made jokes about their own 'technical bastard' status.

Joanna's response was to pick up a pancake and throw it like a frisbee across the room, where Flayn caught it on her plate. "Go eat in your room," she taunted, over Seteth's objections, as Flayn swiped another pancake and excitedly drowned them both in syrup. "And be careful with the syrup, it's messy!"

Joanna returned to cooking, partly in an attempt to ignore Seteth's irritated stare. "Flayn isn't allowed to eat in her room," he told her, "special occasions excluded."

"I'd say a birthday is a special occasion. She's not finished making your birthday card, so you can have breakfast with me." As she flipped the last pancake onto the 'done' plate, she smiled. "And, since she's eating in her room, we can eat in ours. Don't think I gave up on my original plan just because you caught me. Back in bed, mister - and no, that was not sex related!"

Amused, Seteth held up his hands in surrender and followed the order. When Joanna returned with two plates of pancakes and a picnic basket full of toppings for them to choose from, he waited until she brought up Flayn to say anything.

"I suppose now isn't the best time to tell Flayn we're getting married once she graduates," she said, and Seteth flinched.

"She would not be opposed," he promised. "Perhaps we'll tell her tonight, over a family dinner. She'll likely start planning the wedding immediately. She may have already started, she knows how much I love you."

That was a word Joanna rarely used - she loved her father and brother, and they loved her, and none of them ever felt the need to state it out loud. She'd never told someone she loved them more than once, until after fighting with Seteth and she felt the need to. And though it was inappropriate to say so at the moment, she did love Flayn, as well. It might be nice to have them reassured of it like Jonah and Jeralt were. It would definitely be nice to make their current situation official.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea," she agreed, and they continued this content domestic activity until Seteth noticed a paper card slip under the closed door.