Chapter 19: The Scorpion
Alastor was in a good mood that Saturday morning.
Figuring out what to teach Indigo power-wise had been challenging. Mere summoning caused things to explode, and after following Princess Octavia's suggestion, Indigo was revealing her physical strength… which was alarming. Indigo both had supernatural powers and the capacity to damage a neighborhood. To think that just after he and Indigo had returned from Runesville on Thursday, Indigo had punched to ashes a boulder falling from the sky. (Boulders falling from the sky were oddly common in Hell.)
Then, just as he had accidentally spilled coffee this morning while filing the hotel's tax papers, Alastor had a sudden thought.
Potions!
Potions were a natural basic for the supernaturally talented in Hell! Sinners easily lost themselves to deals with Alastor because they wanted magical poisons or amplifiers! And they were easy to make. Potions had to be a start in harnessing magic for Indigo!
He went around, looking for the small butterfly, until he found her in the art room of all places. She, Nifty, Capone, and Jinx were sketching on paper pads while Vaggie and Charlie were discussing something with Queenie over a computer. Posing on a pole was Angel Dust, standing on the tip of his left toes, his right leg lifted against the, and his lower arms holding onto the pole while his upper ones were raised in the air. An old curtain was draped over him like a Greek chiton. Lotus and mistletoe were weaved into garlands, creating a belt and sash for him.
"Re-enacting old tragedies in the art of brothels?" Alastor asked.
"Hi, Alastor!" Charlie greeted warmly. "Angel Dust is posing for Indigo. She's trying to work on a design for the garden party advertisements."
"And we thought we'd try her suggestion of using this as art therapy! Done!" Capone twirled his pencil, tucked it in his pocket, and revealed the gory sketch that his creative insanity had created.
Angel Dust flipped his middle fingers at the caiman demon. "You made me look like a rat!"
"I drew you as a Chupacabra!" Capone protested.
"Why am I standing on a pile of dead goats?"
"It's a SYMBOL of your internal deadliness!" Capone hissed. "To me, you are the embodiment of a savage beast that sucks the living essence of people! And the goats also reflect your horniness!"
"That's a lie!"
Alastor looked at the sketch from behind Capone's shoulders. "I would rate this an 8 out of 10. Angel Dust looks nothing like a rodent-like flea bag from Hispanic folklore. I'd see him more as an albino peacock…"
Angel Dust just stuck his tongue at Alastor and kept posing. Capone sniffed and put down his sketch pad. Alastor hummed and looked over Jinx as he sketched. "Shouldn't you be drawing the model?" Alastor asked.
"I am." Jinx kept sketching using pastel markers.
"You aren't drawing Angel Dust. You're drawing Indigo's succubus assistant."
Charlie and Queenie froze in their paperwork. Queenie, frowning a bit, put her paperwork aside and walked up to see what the imp had drawn. Everyone expected her to yell at him for being a pervert, but…
"Aw," she fawned. "You drew me like Medea by Artemisia Gentileschi, only I'm in a business suit and murdering my cousin with a holy dagger. And I'm in a business suit. That is so sweet!"
"How exactly is that sweet?" Vaggie asked skeptically.
"Because I murdered my cousin last year when he tried to suck my tits without my consent. I cut off his dick and then I slit his throat."
"Thus, my model. A raging fury who murders anyone who can't take no for an answer and terrifies males with her witchy willies," Jinx said without remorse. Queenie suddenly caressed him on the cheek with her tail.
"You masochist of a sweetie…" Queenie sighed. "Frame that masterpiece for my office, please?"
Jinx just blushed. Alastor rolled his eyes, only to nearly lose them when he saw what Nifty had sketched. "Nifty! What is this blasphemy?"
Indigo looked at the demoness' creation and backed off in shock. "Miércoles…"
"What did she do? What do I look like?" Angel Dust freaked out from the pole.
"She didn't draw you; she drew some fanart that I should NOT have seen!" Butterflies flew out of the weirded-out Indigo. "Nifty, you've snooped through my collection of MY HERO ACADEMIA again!"
"No, I didn't!" Nifty protested.
"You're literally drawing Deku and Uravity doing… whatever it is they're doing! I can't believe you went through my books again!"
"ME?" Nifty pointed a finger at Vaggie in self-defensive. "Vaggie eavesdropped on your call with Octavia last night?"
"Nifty!" Vaggie exclaimed.
"YOU were eavesdropping on my phone call? What is wrong with you?" Indigo's butterflies quickly turned into red admirals.
"Vaggie!" Charlie exclaimed.
"What? With Queenie buying her that Hellphone and laptop, I had to make sure she wasn't…"
"Wasn't what, Vaggie?" Angel Dust got down from the pole. "Fuck, you're eavesdropping a teenager on the phone? She's not in my pops' fucking mafia!"
"I don't know that! And why was Nifty spying on me in the hallway at 10pm?"
"I was cleaning the banisters!"
"I can't believe you were eavesdropping! That is a violation…"
A loud radio static screeched from Alastor's staff. All the demons covered their ears, shielding themselves from the static far more agonizing than screaming children. Once they all stared at Alastor, he ceased the agonizing playlist.
"Thank you for your attention!" Alastor said. "I hate to disturb the joy of demons ripping each other's eyeballs, but this room is overflowing with red admirals. Indigo, please follow me. I have a more… clear-minded lesson in mind."
"Yes, Mister Alastor." Indigo calmed down and followed him. She shot a cold look at Vaggie. "Al menos el megalómano caníbal no me incomoda rompiendo mi privacidad." (At least the cannibal megalomaniac doesn't make me uncomfortable by breaking my privacy.)
Vaggie's face burned red and her hair agitated. After Alastor and Indigo left, Jinx and Capone quickly excused themselves with the false claim that they 'realized they forgot to shave'.
"Vaggie, again?" Charlie sighed.
"I don't fucking believe this!" Angel Dust towered over Vaggie. "You fucking watch every single move Indigo makes like she's a fucking time bomb ever since she got here!"
"I don't trust her…" Vaggie began.
"Oh, for Asmodeus' fucking big balls, you don't trust anyone!" Queenie poked her tail at Vaggie. "Carman and I can't even go to the bathroom without you trailing us to see if we brought in sex toys!"
"This is a place discouraging sin, so I apologize of doing my job for making sure that demons don't jeopardize Charlie's project!" Vaggie pointed her spear at Queenie. "We're already at the stick's end ever since we became a fucking joke on the news when Angel took part in a turf war! With more demons showing up at the hotel, we can't afford another screw-up!"
"A, don't touch me!" Queenie hissed. "B, last time I checked, me and the other bitches are just volunteers paid by the Radio Demon, so we ain't fucking patrons for you to play asylum warden! And C, at least the butterfly broke more than 13 nails to make herself useful in this shithole, and the only reason I stick around is because she ain't a fucking bitch like all the self-entitled bastards I had to work with! When you give me concrete proof that she's a total monster, that's the day I'll actually listen to you!"
Queenie stormed out, taking all the paperwork with her.
"Am I the only one who takes things rationally here?" Vaggie exclaimed.
"Vaggie…"
Charlie was interrupted when Angel Dust suddenly punched Vaggie in her one, functioning eye. She landed on the ground and looked up at Angel Dust in shock. His face was cold.
"If you keep up like this again, Vagatha, you can go find yourself another doofus willing enough to come here… because I don't plan on letting Indigo stay here if the Hazbin Hotel ain't even safe from its own manager."
Angel Dust NEVER called Vaggie by her full name. That was enough for both Charlie and Vaggie to gasp and for Nifty to gasp. Angel Dust scoffed in disappointment and stormed out, taking Indigo's sketch with him.
Charlie took a deep breath and helped Vaggie up. "I know you want to keep the hotel safe, Vaggie, I really do. But that's enough. You need to take things down a notch."
"Indigo isn't some meanie like the creeps who comment Angel on his Voxtagram!" Nifty nodded. "She wouldn't hurt us!"
"Nifty, exactly how many times did you have to clean the hotel because of her bugs or the times she accidentally broke the walls?" Vaggie drily asked.
Nifty shrugged. "Cleaning for Mister Alastor gets you used to big messes. Besides, once you get past all the butterflies, Indigo is really a big marshmallow!"
Charlie put her hand on Vaggie's shoulder. "Vaggie, she's just a teenager. It's understandable for her to be emotional."
"Hon, not all teenagers are musical protagonists with hopeful dreams and perky attitudes," Vaggie said firmly. "I've seen enough back in my life to see the crap they can fall in. Delinquents landing in juvie, socially impressionable kids who fall for drugs and alcohols, dropouts who join gangs for quick cash, child soldiers… When I first landed in Hell, the first thing I literally saw was a gang of teenagers setting a car dealership on fire. Why did they do it?" Vaggie pulled her hair to straighten it. "Once in Hell, they think they're free of any authority parents, school, social services, and police had on them. Teens aren't cartoon characters, Charlie. They can get in serious trouble if they aren't supervised."
A few minutes later, in the kitchen
Indigo wasn't going to lie. She didn't expect Alastor to put a Dutch Oven on the kitchen counter. Especially one so pitch black, rusty, and with one of those semi-arc handles that almost reminded you of the days when you had to carry a bucket to fetch water at the nearby well.
"Your clear-minded lesson is cooking?" She asked skeptically. "I thought Husk was cooking drunken noodles for lunch today."
"Husker is cooking elsewhere. I have another thing in mind for lessons that is A, educational, B, free of any potential insect hazard, and C, fun!" Alastor snapped his fingers and hundreds of ingredients appeared on the counter: dried herbs, jarred demon limbs, glowing vials of liquid, grinded gemstones, and so many more. Alastor waved his hands and exclaimed in a sing-song tune: "Potions!"
Indigo squealed in delight, mangrove skippers flying out of her as she clapped her hands in excitement.
"My, my! Alastor smiled. "Someone likes alchemy!"
"Are you kidding? My grand-père, though raised Catholic, believed in the myths of Celtic druids and their works. The golden sickle he found while farming was his good-luck charm and family heirloom. He was certain about mistletoe repelling monsters and demons, he hangs it by the windows!"
"Well, your homage in the garden makes further sense…"
"Before he died, he helped me and my friend Dimitri on our 6th grade science fair project, 'Potions: Alchemy or Sci-Fi.' We got 3rd prize… and got subjected to 3 weeks of community service because one of the PTA members was a conservative Christian. She thought we were encouraging witchcraft." Indigo sighed to calm herself down and clasped her hands. "So! What are the basics we're covering today? Folk medicine? Homemade tea for tealeaf reading? I hope it's not a love potion, because that would be a breach in free will."
Alastor blinked before finally answering: "Not yet, eventually, and certainly not. Remind me to have a discussion with you on Sacred Drugs Sanctioned to Overlords, or SDSO."
"Oh yeah… I heard Velvet got an issue with Gorgon Crack." Indigo shook her head. "What potion did you have in mind?"
"You'll find this fun, my dear!" Alastor pulled in five ingredients close to the Dutch Oven, a cutting board, and a mortar with pestle. "Sentiency Schnapps. A potion that brings to life an inanimate object. Not the same as an Animation Absinthe, the potion that animates an inanimate object. The Sentiency Schnapps doesn't just allow the object to move and perform acts impossible for its original design, but also grants it a mind and perspective of its own. Very much like the famous Pinocchio! It's an easy recipe: preparing ingredients, heat it in this beauty until it thickens, spit in it, and then spread it over the object you wish to animate. Any questions?"
"Uh, two. Why is it named after alcohol and what's with the spit?"
"I think the Seven Deadly Sins were intoxicated during the cataloging of Hell's certified potions and you'll learn about the spit. Onto the ingredients!"
Indigo looked at the ingredients Alastor had pulled out: a box of collagen, five herbal fluid vials, citrine chunks, a water jug filled with living leeches, and most disturbing of all, a box filled with dried up hearts.
"Potions in Hell are much more different than what stories you might have heard alive." Alastor pointed at the ingredients. "The collagen protein you'd find in bones. Very essential to give the inanimate object a new form of skeletal composition. Fluids of steeped herbs will give the object health and key aspects of its instinctive behaviors. Citrines will broaden its newfound mind. Recently fed leeches will give feasted blood for further body functions. And last, but most importantly: the heart of a demon."
"Does it have to be the heart of a real demon?" Indigo grimaced.
"Of course. You'll find it hard to believe, but a demon's own body comes with great attributes for spells and potions. All spells and potions in Hell require some form of demon organ to amplify the powers. It's referred to as mandatory sanguimancy. Any demons' organs will do unless the spell or potion in question requires something specific. In our case, hearts are the key to giving life and emotions to objects." He snapped his fingers and knives appeared before them. "It's quite the interesting procedure. We first chop up dozen leeches and grind them with the collagen until it becomes bloody clumps. Then we open up a heart, stuff the mixture in it, close it up, and cautiously place it at the bottom of this Dutch Oven. We'll separately boil a liquid herbal concoction based on the selected herbs and then pour it into the Dutch Oven to poach the stuffed heart. While the heart poaches, we'll grind the citrines to the size of breadcrumbs so that once the poaching is complete, we'll roll the heart over the crumbled gemstones until fully coated. The heart cools, we select an object, then we spit on the heart for final personality touch, toss it at the object, and voilà! One sentient object!"
Indigo stared at Alastor. "Seriously? Why is even labeled as a non-alcoholic potion if it's basically a sweetbread that we're wasting?"
"Labels are pretty deceiving." The kitchen door burst open and Husker stepped in.
"Husker, my good fellow! Have you forgotten the concept of knocking while others educate?" Alastor questioned.
"Have you forgotten I don't give a fuck?" Husk grumbled. He shoved something to Indigo. She gasped, seeing her precious Scrunchy the Scorpion doll in her hands. She then noticed an intricate stitch on her toy's abdomen. A stitch made of dark blue thread, distinguishing it on the light blue surface. And Scrunchy felt like he got some extra filling.
"Caught Fat Nuggets running into your room. He did a number on your toy, so I patched it up. Not something to make a fucking deal out of… I happen to have an emergency kit in the bar… In case of surgery…" He muttered.
"Aw, thanks Husk… But why didn't you put Scrunchy back in my room?" Indigo hugged her toy. She set aside a stool far away from the counter and placed Scrunchy on top of it.
"I didn't want the pig to break my work. Also, why the heck do you have a scorpion toy… named Scrunchy?"
"Actually, his full name is Scipio Carson Ronaldo Unico Nemo Camelot Harriet Yuletide." Husk and Alastor just stared at her. "Seriously, why are all the guys at this hotel fussing over me liking scorpions? Just because I'm into butterflies, you think I'm also into bunnies and unicorns?"
"You reacted like an overjoyed fangirl when you saw Prince August's hippocampi," Alastor pointed out.
"MYTHICAL Equidae, Mister Alastor," Indigo calmly emphasized. "At least those that get documentation from Antiquity. Unicorns are overrated fantasy propaganda weaponized by entertainment industries to create an 11-year-old, elementary school female targeted franchise mainly followed by an adult fandom THAT WILL SPEND THE REST OF THEIR LIFES BACKLASHING AT THE COMPANIES WHENEVER A REBOOT UNSATISFIES THEM, AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE LOUSY FANFICTION REVIEWS, BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE JUST DON'T GET THAT AS LONG AS SOMETHING AIN'T CANON, YOU DON'T GET TO TALK TRASH AND TELL THE FANFIC WRITER TO GET A PROOFREADER! IT'S FANFICTION, NOT A COVER LETTER FOR A JOB INTERVIEW!"
Husk opened the kitchen window to let the red admirals out. Alastor sympathetically patted Indigo on the shoulder.
"Found common grounds with Nifty?" He asked.
Indigo calmed down and took a deep breath. "She buried alive the last fanfic reviewer who criticized her fanfic, So You're A Stag But I Love You." She shook her head. "I'm good. Can't wait to get started on my first potion!" Indigo went through her hair and pulled out safety goggles, a respiratory mask, and rubber gloves out of her locks. Butterflies flew out of her hair as Indigo covered her face with the mask and goggles. The older male demons looked at her in utmost bafflement. "What? Potions might be like chemistry class: potentially hazardous."
"Kid, I could care less if you dress up like a WWI soldier; it's fucking Hell and I've seen weirder shit." Husk pointed at Indigo's hair. "Why are you pulling stuff out of your hair? Did you suddenly get hammerspace power shit?"
"Do you guys ask about Angel Dust's hammerspace fluffy bust?"
Nearly an hour later
The advantages of safety equipment: you don't smell the ghastly odor of the Sentiency Schnapps you're making.
Indigo was rather happy by the results of her lesson. The collagen and leeches had been well mixed before stuffing them in the lamb heart she had selected. Alastor recommended using two herbal fluids for her first Sentiency Schnapps, so Indigo went for Bestseller Basil and High-Spirited Hyacinth. Once the poaching was over, the stuffed heart looked redder than before. The coating from the crumbled citrines and the overall smelliness gave it the smelliness and appearance of a durian (or, in Alastor's perspective, a golden sea urchin).
And for the finishing touch, because Alastor wanted to keep the kitchen clean, they took the Sentiency Schnapps to the lobby. Husk took the liberty of clearing the bar and place old vases that no one bothered using. He also put Scrunchy on a nearby stool.
"This is the gross part. Spitting on the heart to give the overall personality then toss it at the object. Object gains sentiency. Observe." Uncharacteristically, Alastor spat on his Sentiency Schnapps and immediately threw it, hitting a fanged vase. Red and yellow lights flashed around it, the porcelain distorted and swelled, and the vase fell off the bar. Before it could crash on the ground, arms and legs suddenly sprouted. The vase landed on its feet and its fangs moved, suddenly singing and dancing.
Don't know why
There's no sun up in the sky.
Stormy weather
Since my man and I ain't together.
Keeps raining all the time.
"Real original, Al," Husk rolled his eyes.
"Is that the Sentiency Schnapps?" Charlie came down, giggling when she saw the fanged vase bearing the sentiency of a Cab Calloway impersonator. "My dad used that same spell to bring Razzle and Dazzle to life."
"Fascinating. But this is still Indigo's first lesson. She prepared the potion just right, so let's give her room to complete it right," Alastor took a step back and sat down.
Indigo took a deep breath. When she had a personality in mind, she spat on the heart. The cherry red vase with a tacky neon yellow rose pattern was her target. She positioned herself, prepared to throw the Sentiency Schnapps…
And Vaggie's poorly timed arrival and demand to know what the Hell was going on made her miss her target.
And the worst part was that by the unpredicted 20 degree angle, Indigo accidentally threw her potion at her precious childhood toy.
Scrunchy the Plush Scorpion got by the Sentiency Schnapps.
"NO!" Indigo screamed. It was too late.
The citrine-coated heart forced itself into the toy's fleeced shell.
"Vaggie! How could you?" Indigo screamed.
"Me?" Vaggie protested.
"This was a private session you were uninvited!" Alastor got up. "Is this your newest method? Sabotaging my pupil's lesson?"
"Uh, folks… We got another problem."
Husk's remark caused them to look at the toy. Scrunchy was floating in midair. The heart was glowing from within it. Yellow, red, and purple veins grew through his body. The stitching on his abdomen moved, shifting to resemble a serpentine scar.
"Husker… what thread did you use to fix Indigo's toy?" Alastor stopped smiling.
"Shit…" Husk quickly pulled out his emergency kit from under the bar and went through it. "I accidentally used Zombie Thread… I had it as backup in case ya might need it! I must have been half-drunk, I didn't realize I used it!"
"Husk, that's bad!" Charlie exclaimed. "Zombie Thread is the advanced version of Animation Absinthe, strictly used to animate unliving bodies! The effects are usually removable, but a combination with a Sentiency Schnapps make it irreversible because animation and sentiency leads to life! That's how my dad gave Razzle and Dazzle life as my bodyguards! Because of your mistake and Vaggie's timing, Indigo created a new Hellborn lifeform! Scrunchy is turning into a demon!"
Bone-cracking sounds came from the toy. The textiles on it swelled and its body stretched. The seashells and constellation patterns on it began to glow once the veins had spread, spinning to coat the toy into an orb. Red, yellow, and purple snakes spun around the orb before swallowing their own tails and creating a triple ouroboros. The colors merged. The orb exploded. Stars and sparkles flew everywhere in the lobby. The plush toy was no more.
Now what they had was a three-foot-tall scorpion demon. His light blue skin seemed paler. His swing coat reached his feet, his sleeves bared embroidered patterns of citrine seashells, and the fabric of his coat was an endlessly moving outer space. His cravat was a scorpion tail twisted up and tucked under his coat. His black homburg hat had an amethyst scorpion with ouroboros for eyes. When he opened his eyes, they complimentary-colored: purple pupils and citrine-yellow irises.
He floated towards them… and started laughing.
"Oh my gosh! You guys are hilarious! Ha, ha, ha!" Scrunchy laughed. "I don't know what's funnier! Your reaction or how Vaggie is SO gonna die! Ha, ha, ha!" Scrunchy flew around, laughing like a maniacal ghost.
"Indigo… What personality did you give your Schnapps?" Alastor asked.
"Oh, my boss gave me an awesome personality!" Scrunchy interrupted. "She was aiming for an Alex Hirsch personality, but her mind got scrambled when the ugly ex-slut here barged in!" Scrunchy's cravat suddenly moved on its own, revealing the tucked sting that was now poking Vaggie on the head. Vaggie growled at him. "Wow, I can tell why nobody likes you! You're bossy, mean, biased, and egotistical for a moth demon who doesn't bother rehabilitation? Probably because you like being a royal escort! Or did the princess trick you into it the way you got forced into the slut business in El Salvador?"
Vaggie took a step back, looking like she was on the verge of tears. Charlie went to hug her.
"Scrunchy? Why are you like this?" Indigo asked.
"What? It's not like you and Vaggie are friends. I got protocols to not be polite that ain't your friends, your family, your surrogate family, your mentors-acting-like-parental-substitutes, and anyone you might be romantically involved with!" Scrunchy pulled out a blue scroll from his hat and unrolled it, revealing a list. "It's part of my protocols."
Indigo took the scroll and showed it to Alastor. The Radio Demon adjusted his monocle to properly read it.
"'Scipio Carson Ronaldo Unico Nemo Camelot Harriet Yuledie. Designated bodyguard of Ines Augustina Coeurdor, aka Indigo Caligo, as her childhood toy of confidence in life brought to life following her descent. Licensed reality warper, recruiter, entertainer, choreographer, guerilla soldier, cheerleader, marine captain, Civil War abolitionist, gender and sexuality rights advocate, and Christmas party planner. Assigned to do anything his owner desires including extensions for her friends, family, surrogate family, mentors-acting-like-parental-substitutes, and any romantically involved parties. Unless the owner orders him against him, S.C.R.U.N.C.H.Y can proceed with the following acts for anyone not included in the owner's extended parties AND anyone who poses as a threat to the owner: murder, disemboweling, mummification, execution-via guillotine, zombification, car accidents, force enslavement, hypnotism, arson, imprisonment, torture, sterility, donation to cannibal restaurant, cease and desists, restraining orders, tax evasion filament, house arrest, and providing non-benefit work.'" After reading the list, Alastor snapped his fingers. A red book appeared, labeled HELL'S PROTOCOLS, and quickly ran through it until he found the right chapter. "What do you know? The Protocols for Living Toys and Self-Designated Toys validates that scorpion's protocols. Since Indigo turned him into a demon and the scorpion has been with his owner since birth and since death, Scrunchy is her legal bodyguard and can do anything to harm anyone that might threaten Indigo… unless she tells him otherwise."
Charlie looked at the scroll and book herself. "Uh oh… Alastor's right. Even I can't undo it."
"At least Sven and Raggedy Ann here catch my drift!" Scrunchy chuckled and floated around.
"Scrunchy, get down RIGHT NOW!" Indigo pointed at the ground. The scorpion demon immediately obeyed and reached the ground. Just then, Angel Dust and Nifty came in, accompanied by Queenie and Jinx. Angel Dust reacted the most when he saw Scrunchy alive.
"OK… which one of you bitches turned Indigo's toy into Frankenstein's monster? Vaggie…" Angel Dust growled.
"It wasn't me!"
"You're the only one who snoops in Indigo's room!"
Scrunchy floated towards the new group. He quickly shook hands with Angel Dust, nearly bruising him with his pincer fingers. "Fantastic job taking care of my boss, Señor Anthony!"
The spider demon's face paled more than his actual white fur. "How did…" But Scrunchy quickly pushed him aside and tipped his hat for Nifty. The small demoness blushed when he took her hand and placed a gallant kiss on it.
"Señorita Nifty…" Scrunchy smiled. "No todos los días te encuentras con una belleza sedienta de sangre como tú, diosa de la limpieza y la destrucción." (It's not every day you meet a bloodthirsty beauty like you, goddess of cleanliness and destruction.)
"Aw! You're such a charming gentleman!" Nifty blushed. "Oh my gosh, your outfit is amazing!"
"I get my work done." Scrunchy straightened his cravat before winking at her. "I'll make sure to not damage it too often. Wouldn't want you to waste your sewing talents on my rags."
"You flatterer!"
Only Husk, Vaggie, and Indigo were the demons quick enough to gag at the idea that Indigo's toy-turned-demon was flirting with Nifty.
"Are you a new staff employee? You're too chaotic to be a patron or a volunteer?" Queenie frowned.
"Moi? Good question! It depends on what my boss desires me to accomplish!" Scrunchy tipped his hat. "Intentional or not, my boss gave me life. Therefore, I must do anything she asks… as long as I don't get to apologize to Vaggie."
Vaggie growled.
"Scrunchy!" Indigo scolded.
"What? She's not your friend, so I owe her nothing?"
Indigo took a deep breath before getting herself more angry. Charlie took the opportunity of intervening. "Scrunchy, while your… master de-stresses, could you tell us what you'd do… if you were to willingly help the hotel?"
"Oh, that's easy!" Scrunchy floated towards her. "You got the management and accounting with your slut and the Radio Demon, my boss and Queenie the succubus do marketing, Señorita Nifty is the cleaning maid, and Husker is the barista and front desk register. But what can I provide? An enlarged staff!"
"Enlarged staff… like more employees?"
"Duh!" Scrunchy floated mid-air and spun around. "The current staff's cute is cute right now, but you're hoping to host, what, a max of 333, two-people rooms included? Ya need bellhops, concierges, night auditors, cooks, waiters, cleaners, engineers, technicians, exterminators, advisors, accountants, entertainers, baristas, lounge singers, psychiatrists, librarians, bellmen, lifeguards, gardeners, maître d', towel maids, nurses, gift shop clerks, and need I go on! I can provide the staff since my boss has the manpower?"
"I do?" Indigo frowned.
Scrunchy floated and sat down on her shoulder, shrinking himself conveniently. "Last time I checked, you basically have a hive of butterflies at your command!"
"NO!" Angel Dust pushed Scrunchy off Indigo's shoulder and pulled the latter idea. "Indigo's not doing that!"
"Angel Dust?" Indigo looked at the spider demon.
"You don't do that!" Angel Dust's grip on her tightened. "That shitty scorpion knows what he's doing!"
"What is he doing, exactly?" Alastor asked.
"I don't care what he wants to do with it, Indigo's not doing it! It's bad enough her childhood toy turned into a jackass, she doesn't need to start making Frankenstein's monsters out of all her bugs!"
"But…" Indigo began.
"INES, GO TO YOUR ROOM NOW!" Angel Dust shouted.
A shaken Indigo stared at Angel Dust, his angry expression emphasizing that refusal would be a bad idea. Panicked, she ran back to her room. Everyone stared at Angel Dust, whose attention turned to the scorpion.
"You pull off shit like that again and I'll introduce you to the only Vietnamese street market in Pentagram City that specializes in scorpion wine!" Angel Dust hissed at Scrunchy. "Either that or I'll have Cherri Bomb stuff you in a Molotov Cocktail the next time she wants to trash up Sir Pentious! Play Jiminy Cricket for all I care, but you're next on my list! We clear."
"Yes, sir…" Scrunchy gulped.
Minutes later
At least Scrunchy was generously given his own hotel room key while everyone still figured things out. Nifty guided him to the room just beneath the boss's (that small belle of a Nifty was really delightful). Until further notice, he wasn't to cause trouble.
Of course, trouble started the moment Nifty left the room, closing the door behind her. The moment Scrunchy went to sit down on his new bed, purple flames appeared on the glass of the round mirror hanging across from his bed. He jumped up and gasped, surprised by the face that appeared on the mirror.
"MASTER!" Scrunchy exclaimed delightfully. "How happy I am to see…"
"Nobody will hear you scream if I choose to kill you on the spot! My sister-in-law's mirrors really have a way of soundproofing the rooms they spy on!"
Scrunchy gulped.
Cain Adamson really wasn't happy with him.
"What the Hell were you thinking? Suggesting Ines to make servants out of her butterflies? You might as well put a big neon sign saying she has an army! The Lapis Locustia already made enough damage in the Porn Studios. Do you think the Great Underdweller wants his plans to be foiled before the Celestial Eclipse?"
"His plans?" Scrunchy gulped. "You mean… Leviathan still hasn't given up his desires?"
The reflection of his master tilted his head with an exasperated look. "No fucking kidding, Sherlock."
"B… But master! Ines is too young! Even if her powers rival those of Charlie, she can't control them! Besides, what about the whole 'she was supposed to decide on her family of choice when her mortal revealed the truth on her 16th birthday'? Or am I interpreting the cambion laws incorrectly?"
"For a toy who just acquired sentiency, you interpret correctly. And I'm guessing that you are unaware that Aaron Coeurdor never got the chance to tell her. Ines doesn't know she's half-demon, let alone part of the youngest set of Leviathan's grandchildren."
"Not knowing and not being able to choose sent her to Hell…" Scrunchy concluded before growling. "What did the missus do? Don't tell me that she did that to her own daughter!"
"She barely even spends time with my son…"
Scrunchy's scorpion tail cravat agitated. "How's… If I may ask, master, how's Ines' brother doing? And… my twin assigned to him as his bodyguard?"
Cain Adamson's reflection shrugged. "They're better than you at bodyguarding my son and you're better than them at being a companion for Ines."
Scrunchy stared at his master in the mirror. The man didn't have to say anything. The scorpion fully remembered that sorrowful look his button eyes had seen sixteen years ago. The sad look Cain, the first murderer, had on his eyes when he had to bring his infant stepdaughter from her maternal family in the Envy Ring of Hell to her paternal family in Maryland on Earth. The last time Scrunchy saw Cain, his master had given a tearful farewell to Mr. Coeurdor as the latter held the baby and her toy in his arms.
Ines hadn't reacted much when her small body had moved from one parental's arms to another parental's arms.
She had slept so soundly in her new crib, with her father and grandparents doting her, she had no way of knowing that the toy could see Cain staying a bit in the outdoor distance, crying some more before finally returning to Hell.
Now Scrunchy had to watch his master go along with Leviathan's plans for his youngest granddaughter.
"What is expected of me, master?" Scrunchy quietly asked.
"Just keep Ines safe… and try to delay her progress. Leviathan is pulling as many tricks as he can to ensure her powers grow before the eclipse comes. But most importantly, Scrunchy, don't let her find out about her heritage just yet. If demons knew she was Leviathan's granddaughter AND a cambion…"
"I will redeem myself, master. I will gain your trust back." Cain Adamson nodded at Scrunchy's response. His reflection disappeared, leaving the scorpion's own reflection to stare back at him.
"Delay her progress…" Scrunchy paced. "Keep her powers from growing… That's nearly impossible! She managed to create a Sentiency Schnapps, and Alastor and Angel Dust are outright parenting her! How am I supposed to delay the progress of a teenager being doted on by an Overlord and an unpredictable mafia porn star… Oh…"
Scrunchy stopped in his tracks. A large, Grinch-like smile appeared on him.
"A good grades hormonal teenager with tremendous power, doted on by two out the hotel's three powerhouses, without any sins in a hotel for redemption…" He chuckled. "Maybe Angel Dust was right. I'm Jiminy Cricket to Ines' Pinocchio… and Jiminy Cricket is going to be Pinocchio's guide from good, real girl to hedonistic demon teen. Charlie's going to rehabilitate Ines if Ines turns bad… and Leviathan's plan might get foiled if his weapon is unavailable! I am a genius!"