Chapter 25 – When it's right

He remembers when he saw her for the first time, walking across the carpark towards him. His manager was next to him, security at his heels as he barrelled along at high speed and she was tucked up with a woolly hat and jacket on, hands pulling it tightly around her body. She wasn't watching where she was going, intent on keeping her head down against the cold air circulating around them. It could've been one of those Kdrama moments where they collided, went sprawling onto the ground ending up in a heap as he looked down at her but he quickly sidestepped in time, only generating a quick apology when she realised she'd almost banged into someone.

"Oh sorry, sorry," she'd mumbled, looking up briefly, noticing who he was with wide eyes but keeping on moving, leaving no time for her to be embarrassed or for him to have to engage in any small talk. At the time, he just nodded, carrying on. But he'd remembered her eyes later that day when he was in his studio trying to find a line that worked for what he wanted to say in a song. And all he could think about was the deep, deep depths of teal that swirled inside her eyes. But he didn't put that in the song as he wanted to keep the image to himself.

The next time he saw her again, they were passing in the halfway at work and he realised she must work there, recognising her eyes. She had a staff ID hanging around her neck, a work device in her hand and she was talking animatedly to the woman she walked with, using her hands to express what she was saying. They both clammed up when he walked by, bowing their heads and he returned their bow, moving on. But he didn't move very far out of the way like he did last time, just enough so there were only a few inches from each other so that, just for a moment, he was caught in the slipstream of her momentum. When he made it back to his studio, he sat, tapping his pen against the desk, the scent of citrus caught in his nose from the wave of fragrance that had wafted off her skin.

There wasn't any choice the third time. It was essential to have a conversation otherwise they may never talk again. She worked here now but could leave at anytime meaning he wouldn't see her again and his mind couldn't process that. Because he had thought about her a lot the last few weeks, keeping his head up when he walked through the company, not wanting to miss a glance of her. But he still didn't know where she worked in the building or even her name, ignoring the fact that any relationship he could ever have would be complicated.

But when he saw her across the cafeteria he had to step out of his comfort zone and speak to her, even if he made a fool of himself and spent the afternoon beating himself up about it. Or more likely, shutting the studio door and not coming out until he'd written at least five songs.

Walking over to the cabinet, he busied himself with looking at what there was to buy for lunch. He could see her out of the corner of his eye, chatting to another woman as they walked slowly over to the food. As she approached, he stood up from where he appeared to be deep in thought as he contemplated the selection. He smelt the citrus again as she came closer, turning slightly as she arrived next to him.

"I shouldn't but I will. Which should I get?" Her voice was rich, deeper than expected but animated when she spoke.

"Last week I got a cupcake, it was delicious, not too sweet."

"Maybe I'll get a cupcake then, they all look so good."

"Oh, there goes my phone. Yeoboseyo? Ne. OK, OK"

He was listening to the conversation between the two women, knowing there was no way he could speak to her when they were together. His bravery didn't stretch to interrupting even though his stomach swooped at the disappointment of an opportunity lost. Then again, maybe it was for the best. Since he became famous, his interest in a partner was swept away into the storm that was life as an idol. He was contemplating whether to leave without buying any food, appetite lost when the other woman hung up her call.

"I have to head back upstairs. 'He's' coming in early and you know we can't not be ready. Can you get me a red velvet cupcake?"

"Of course, see you up there shortly. I won't take long."

Watching the other woman walk away, he was acutely aware 'she' was standing next to him still, close enough to breathe the same air if he turned his body to face her. Which he didn't. But it was now or never so as she continued to choose, he spoke up.

"It's a hard decision, I can't decide. Which cupcake flavour do you like?"

She turned a little to face him but she didn't startle and he wondered when she'd realised it was him standing next to her.

"I like it when things aren't boring so definitely not vanilla," she answered and his heart sped up a little, her voice swirling over his body and settling in his ears, memorising the tone. She could tell he was flustered but saw a small smile appear before he dropped his head. That had been her plan, to crack him just a little so she had more than a passing nod when they encountered each other in the building. Because she had been noticing him the last few weeks, seeing him around more than she had done in the months before the cold day when they'd first made eye contact. From what she'd heard of him around the office, Min Yoongi was usually in his studio, in a meeting or not there at all. But now, here he was, next to her and smiling.

"Me too," was his simple reply, eyes meeting hers for a nano second before he looked away, rubbing the back of his neck. "Can I have whatever cupcake is the opposite of vanilla," he asked the cafe lady who looked confused but selected the most decadent looking of all the options on display, a gaudy thing that was almost unicorn like and he'd have been embarrassed to eat it around his members but they never needed to know.

She was smiling as he paid, walking over to place her order too. "And I'll have the same, plus a red velvet one."

"Well, ah, enjoy your not vanilla cupcake ah...," and he paused, hoping she'd fill in the blank.

"It's Kim Ji-a and I will. Thank you Min Yoongi-nim."

"Just Yoongi is fine."

"So is Ji-a."

"OK then ah, Ji-a. See you around maybe."

"I hope so Yoongi," and the smile she gave him sent him on his way with a slight swagger in his step and a slower than normal pace as he got distracted by replaying the conversation in his head and the sounds of her voice echoing in his mind.

Ji-a didn't notice the fourth time there was an encounter or almost an encounter but he counted it because he'd remember and replay it to add to the others when he went home that night. She was on her phone, scrolling Instagram reels while waiting for the lift. He'd come up behind her, waiting for the separate artist lift that only a few people were allowed to travel in. She had headphones in her ears and was absorbed on her phone so hadn't noticed and he was amused to see she was looking at cute animals, something he was known to do from time to time. She scrolled, smiled, scrolled some more, not really settling on one reel for very long and then his eyes lit up as her thumb hovered over a reel, ready to swipe before she pulled it back letting it play a second and third time before her lift dinged to announce it's arrival and she walked in, not even noticing him as she watched the same reel for a fourth time, smile dancing on the corners of her lips. Lips that were stained a rose pink as she watched him smile out at the sea of ARMY in one of the last concerts he'd done on his solo tour. He had seen that reel, people always sent videos to him so he could enjoy ARMY edits. But there was something about Ji-a watching it, watching him, that made Yoongi smile for the rest of the day.

Since she hadn't seen him the fourth time, Yoongi made sure she did the fifth time. He was in the studio but sitting in his outer room, where he met with people or where they waited when he was recording. His door was ajar as other artists had just left without closing it properly behind them and he hadn't been bothered to stand up and close the door yet as he was deep in thought about the song they'd just been talking about. But her voice permeated through his thoughts and he stood up quicker than anyone would've believed, jogging over to the door in the hopes of encountering Ji-a on her way past. His brain was ticking over with trying to engineer a way to detain her a little to chat.

He popped his head out the door and ended up saying the first thing that came into his mind. "Oh great, you're here."

She stopped, they both did, looking confused.

"I asked for someone to come and help me, did they send you Ji-a-ssi?"

Her friend startled at the use of her name, raising an eyebrow as Ji-a blushed a little. "I'm sorry, I think you're mistaken Yoongi-ssi. We were just heading out for lunch."

Oh that was disappointing and he wondered how to turn this into something that he wanted to happen. "That's OK. I guess, someone else must be on their way, although, it's been a while," he said, looking at his watch and pretending to check the time. He wished it had a heart monitor on it as he knew his was beating fast. He could feel it vibrate through to his fingertips.

The two women looked between each other and the friend seemed to smile briefly for a moment before schooling her expression. "How about you stay and help Ji-a? We can have lunch tomorrow? I'm sure this is much more important."

Ji-a's eyes grew big before she also schooled her expressions. "Of course," she addressed her friend. "If you think I can be the one to help with what you are needing Yoongi-ssi?"

"That will be fine, thank you," he said, nodding as he held the door open and the other woman bowed her head, dashing off down the hallway and leaving Ji-a to follow into the room before Yoongi closed the door behind them.

This felt different, more than a little awkward as he motioned for her to sit on the couch, waiting until she did to seat himself in his favourite chair. "What can I help with Yoongi-ssi," she asked, placing her hands in her lap, rubbing them slightly together from nerves he thought and he wanted to put her at ease.

Floundering for something to say, he decided to settle on a half truth. "Just Yoongi remember? I'm having time management problems."

"Okkkkkk," she answered, dragging out the word. He hadn't made it clear how she could help in this situation and she still looked a little confused.

"Well, I was wanting to bounce ideas of someone as to how I can do that better. I don't know what position you hold in the company but maybe you can help with ideas Ji-a?"

"Oh, well, I work in the creative department, doing design."

"I'm surprised we haven't run into each other before then," he continued, having sat with many staff over the years to talk through different design aspects for both the band and solo work.

"I've only been here four months and it felt like the first month I was just keeping my head above water to be honest," she said frankly, crossing her legs and his eyes strayed to follow the movement before quickly drifting away again.

"I'm sure you're great otherwise we wouldn't have hired you," he said, drawing a small smile from her lips.

"Thank you, I'm learning a lot, it's definitely a great place to work. I can try to help although I'm not that great with time management myself. What's going on exactly?" She was leaning forward a little towards him and he did the same, resting his arms on his knees.

"I work too much," and she nodded along with his words. Everyone knew that about Min Yoongi, that was nothing new. "And I need to carve out some time to do something that's good for my mental health."

"OK, so like, what hobbies do you have," she asked, watching his face as it seemed to go through a myriad of expressions.

"Well, I like to sleep."

Her laughter filled the room and his smile was instant, capturing his eyes and holding the spark that he felt at the sound. He wanted, desperately, to be the reason she laughed like that again.

"Is that a hobby though," she asked, laughter quietening a little but smile still on her face.

"Can we turn it into one," he joked.

"Whether it's a real hobby or not, you definitely need to make time to sleep. They say eight hours a day."

"Impossible," he replied promptly. "In the last 12 years, I don't think I've slept more than 5 or 6 hours a day."

"How do you survive on so little," she said, hand coming to rest on her chest in surprise. "I'm like a bear if I have less than seven hours."

"You get used to it. But I should probably get more so I stay healthy."

"Right then," she said, turning to a note app on her device. "7 hours sleep a day is the goal. What about work? How many hours for that a day?"

"The rest," he said with a sigh and she frowned at him.

He just shrugged. "It's probably true, apart from travelling there and back."

"But Yoongi," and she stopped herself, clamping her mouth shut.

"Yes," he asked, leaning even closer.

"Well, I was going to say that's not living but that's not my place to say." Her cheeks were flushed from embarrassment and her eyelashes were fluttering a little as if she was nervous at having been so forthright with her words.

"You're right though. Work and sleep. Not exactly all that life should hold right? So, hence the need to manage all of that better."

"I think if you add in something that you really enjoy, the rest will feel more manageable. Like, hmmm, a sport. Do you play basketball still?"

He wasn't surprised that she knew he used to, a lot of people knew so much about his life or at least the last decade of it.

"There's a hoop in the practice room, Jiminie and I practice from time to time. I do still enjoy playing but my shoulder injury limits that."

"Can you manage to put that in twice a week, even if Park Jimin-ssi isn't around?"

"I think I can do that. And once a week to the gym is probably OK too. It should be almost daily but no-one has expected that of me for a long time."

"What about golf or another sport? Exercise helps to tire you out, maybe it will help you sleep better?"

"Golf is definitely too big a commitment. Trust me, Taehyungie has tried to get me to play with him. But yes, exercise does help. I like walking, depending where. And it's usually fast. I can't seem to relax and walk slowly but that's OK, it's better than running. Or maybe I could cycle?"

Yoongi felt a little more animated now, talking about the things he enjoyed doing from time to time. When the group was in their early years, they used to cycle a lot along the river. He was a fairly regimented person so if he pencilled exercise into his schedule, like he would a music meeting, he'd stick to it.

"Could you manage an hour a day during the week of either basketball, the gym, walking or cycling? Then take the weekend to do something longer and more relaxing?"

"What's a weekend," he laughed and she frowned, nipping his laughter in the bud.

"You really need to take care of yourself more," she said and then put her hand to her mouth. That felt overly familiar to say and she really didn't want to offend him.

"I really do need someone to take care of me actually," he said and she stared at him for a moment before looking away. It was getting warm in the room and she was tempted to shrug out of the small over cardigan she was wearing but that didn't feel right.

"Like a personal assistant," she asked quietly.

"That's not what I meant but yeah I guess. The managers can only do so much. I need someone who is attentive to my personal needs in a different kind of way. I've never felt I needed staff with that specific job because of all the other staff helping us but maybe I do."

She was feeling a little uncomfortable now, uncrossing her legs and recrossing them the other way as she tried to fidget away her discomfort. It sounded to her like he wasn't speaking as plainly as he wanted to, things written between the lines of his sentences. Attentive to his personal needs? That sent all sorts of thoughts firing in her brain.

Meanwhile, Yoongi could see her expression was changing at his words, cheeks heating up, lips dropping slightly open. And he wanted to say more, about how someone could specifically help with his time management, with his personal needs. More specifically, how she could. He blushed at his own thoughts but allowed himself the luxury of meeting her eyes, even though he could feel them wanting to instantly shift the moment they locked.

They were bright and clear. The kind of clear that looks like she's never been tired, or had alcohol, or cried or succumbed to Spring allergies. The kind of clear that you fell into, perfectly happy to never surface from again.

She caught him staring and he coughed a little to break the moment, looking away after what felt like millenniums and was probably only a few seconds.

She recovered quicker than he did, speaking fast to cover the buzz in the room, generated by the spark he could feel was there. If he trusted himself enough to believe it.

"Ah, so we've established you need to fit in some more exercise, that will help tire you out, get more sleep and maybe you could take up a fun hobby as well that has nothing to do with sports. Do you read? Or gaming?"

"My members like gaming more than me but I read a lot, or I used to when I had time. I do read at night but fall asleep part way through a page."

"Any recommendations? I've always loved a good book."

"I'll let you know, next time I see you." It felt like a promise, that today was the start of a conversation that could continue, if they both wanted it to.

"I'd like that," she said quietly, eye smiles broad, teeth showing in her smile.

"I have a meeting soon so I probably should go, unless there was something else you needed me to do first?" She could be late for him.

"No, you've been very helpful," he said, rubbing his shoulder, where it still ached at random times.

"Does it hurt," she asked, noticing what he was doing.

"Not much, it's OK."

"I can send someone down for you," she continued, thinking of the staff they had on hand whose job it was to keep the artists in top condition.

"It's OK, I can schedule one if it gets worse. Unless that's another skill set you have, design by day, physio by night?" He was joking but the thought of her hands on him, well, maybe he wasn't really joking that much at all.

"I'm definitely not a trained physio but I can give a mean neck massage."

His face betrayed him, hopeful expression clearly evident on his face even though he willed it away as soon as he felt it appear. "Oh? You can?"

"Not today though, meeting and all. Rain-check?"

"Yeah, yeah, rain-check, nice." He managed the words, clocked that they'd halfheartedly said there would be another time and that maybe, just maybe that time her hands would be on him. He needed a nap, or fresh air to clear his head.

She got up and bowed her head a little as she walked to the door and he stepped aside to let her walk past.

"Yoongi-ssi," she said as she paused at the door. "Did you really need help sorting out your time?"

"No," he answered honestly and she nodded.

"I didn't think so. See you again soon, I hope," she tacked quietly on the end as she walked out the door, the click clack of her shoes on the floors ringing in his ears. He smiled as he thought to himself that now he really had a reason to leave his office every day.

The sixth time they met, it wasn't by chance but by educated guesswork. Ji-a had been keeping tabs on his movements around the company, noting he'd played basketball one day that week, gone for a walk another, around the same time each day. She'd opted to cycle to work today in the hope that she could have a chance run in with Yoongi if he picked today to cycle. As she walked slowly down to where she'd locked up her bike, having changed into suitable clothing for being active, she realised this was a stupid idea. For one, helmet hair. Two, how would she even know which way to go to 'run' into him? And three, it's not like they would be alone anyway. He'd have to have security with him if he went somewhere.

Mulling over all of this while she clipped her helmet into place, she gave a little shriek of surprise when she felt someone appear next to her. "I didn't know you cycled to work. Are you going for a lunchtime ride Ji-a?"

She glanced at the staff member who was with Yoongi, half paying attention to what was going on as he got two bikes out of the stands. Lowering her voice and deciding to roll with being honest, she answered truthfully. "I don't usually but I hoped I'd be able to find someone to ride with today." The blush when she finished speaking was inevitable. His returning one was surprising and as welcome as the smile he gave when he understood the meaning behind her words.

"Yeah, I took your advice. The exercise is helping me sleep better so it's cycling today. And I could always do with a cycling partner." And this one, dressed in a loose t-shirt and fitness leggings, was exactly what he'd have been hoping for if he could've planned out today himself instead of chancing upon it like he had.

She glanced at the security who was waiting patiently nearby, engaging with his phone to give them some space or so she thought. He already had a cycling partner and Yoongi commented when she looked between them. "I mean, someone to ride beside me, rather than behind."

"I'd like that," Ji-a replied and then blushed even deeper. "I mean, if you were meaning me. I shouldn't have assumed!"

"Assume away," he grinned and reached for the helmet they would have to wear. Pointing at hers as he finished clipping his helmet up, Yoongi smiled even more broadly. "Cute." Her helmet was purple with little cartoon characters on it. Could he see a bear, a bunny, maybe a cat?

"I think so," she replied, lifting her head in the air as if it didn't bother her that he might be mocking her when in fact it did bother her a little.

"I like it, so much more interesting than these," he said, pointing at the black sleek one he was wearing.

"Well, like I've said before, I don't like things vanilla."

"Mine is hardly vanilla. Shall we call it 90% dark chocolate?"

And there was that laugh again, echoing off the concrete walls of the parking garage. It was melodic, enchanting and he was captivated.

"You can call it whatever you like, you're Min Yoongi."

He laughed at that, knowing he did walk through life now with exceptions made because of who he was, not that he every expected it.

"Shall we go," he asked although neither of them had actually asked if they wanted to bike together. The assumption was just there and he liked that. It felt natural, like they were on the same wave length. She raised her eyebrow at him with a smile and nod, saddled her bike and started away, leaving Yoongi to catch up to her. He liked that too, that she wasn't predictable. He rose to the occasion when there was a challenge.

Slightly puffed from the last fifteen minutes of not so leisurely pace, they stopped with the slight point of his head, arriving at a park. Security stood back a little with the bikes, giving them space as they walked over to the grass, baked crisp but still vividly green in the early Spring sun. Collapsing down they both panted a little, trying to regulate their breathing as they rested back on their hands, unclipping their helmets and taking those off.

"We should've packed water, you go fast," Yoongi said, sticking his tongue out to moisten his lips a little as he ran his fingers through his hair to settle the slightly damp length.

"It was about exercise and getting the body pumping so you sleep better right? So we needed it to be fast enough for that."

"You're a task master."

"I can be. I can also be gentle when I need to be," and she blushed, quickly shutting her mouth after the words left them. They were probably innocent but, because there was something there between them, unspoken yet felt, it didn't sound innocent at all. She busied herself, smoothing her own hair down, distracting them both from the moment.

Yoongi couldn't help grinning as he lay back on the grass, tucking his baseball cap over his face to keep the sun out of his eyes. This was easy and comfortable. And she was interesting, beautiful, a puzzle, light. Lifting the hat slightly to turn his head and look at her, he saw her eyes were closed as she sat next to him, still leaning back on her arms. As he watched her chest rise and fall, finally slowing a little after their exercise, he knew he had to say something, to make this more concrete.

"Ji-a?"

"Mmmmm," she answered, eyes still closed.

"Will you have coffee with me?"

"Now," she asked, opening her eyes and turning her body a little to look down at him.

"I was kind of thinking of a time that wasn't during work so there's no need to rush away for a meeting or anything else."

"I'd like that," she answered and he sat up with a smile, biting back the stupid grin he knew was threatening to make him look dopey as it attempted to spread across his whole face. He dusted his hands off a little, small debris from the grass stuck in a few places to his skin before he dropped his hands to the ground again, resting them so his pinky finger tip could brush against hers.

They looked down at the grass, at their fingers resting lightly against each other, neither lifting their heads to make eye contact but both feeling. It was enough for now. Some ducks waddled past, looking for water, a mother and child walked past, hand and hand on the way to the children's play area, the breeze drifted across them both as they sat in silence, content in their own thoughts. Eventually security cleared his throat.

"Yoongi-ssi, we have just over half an hour before you are meeting with Bang PD."

"OK," Yoongi answered, standing up, reaching out his hand to pull Ji-a up too although he knew she would have no problem doing it on her own. He just wanted to touch her skin, just for a moment. It was what he expected, hoped for, thought about late at night. Soft, warm and as she gripped his hand, allowing him to guide her to her feet, the hold she had was strong. On his hand and wrapping around his heart. It stuttered at the thought before beating quicker.

"Thank you Yoongi," she said, letting go, dusting off her clothes and he noticed how much he liked her in those leggings, how much he liked her in general.

The ride back was slower, next to each other on the pathway, security close on their heels, pointing out things to each other that they hadn't noticed on the fast ride over. "I like this," Ji-a thought to herself, wondering how people could ever have said Yoongi wasn't a warm person. The warmth glowed from him, his smile when he looked at her, his eyes sharp but the colour charming as it lured her in. It felt familiar to be with him, like they'd been friends for a long even though they'd only talked a handful of times.

Pulling up and putting their bikes back in the stands, they stood together for a moment, apart enough for nothing to look suspicious but forcing themselves to do it as both wanted to take a step closer.

"Do you want to let Ji-ho-ssi know your number so we can sort a time for coffee," Yoongi asked, not wanting to let that slip away as just a casual throw away comment with no substance behind it. He wasn't supposed to ask for her number himself but he'd be getting it off Ji-ho later so he had it in his own phone anyway.

"Of course," and she rattled off some digits which Ji-ho put into his phone, nodding to Yoongi when it was saved. Looking at his watch he realised he should probably head up to the chairman's office.

"I'll text you Ji-a."

"OK, thank you for the ride Yoongi."

"I like exercising with you," he said as he stepped away, a mischievous grin on his face as his comment hit home.

"I'm up for it again, or something different," she said and he laughed, feeling the lightest he'd felt in a long time.

The seventh time they met at a small coffee shop he knew about, security at another table to give them space, lights low so no disguises were needed. It was late at night to minimise the chances of being seen but he really didn't care, standing the moment she walked towards him with her hair floating around her shoulders, legs so long that he wasn't sure they stopped at all. There was something really attractive about a pretty woman who didn't realise just how beautiful she was and that was definitely Ji-a. Comfortable in her skin and so pretty that when he looked at her, he had to swallow and regulate his breathing to stop himself for stuttering when he spoke. A book lay on the table, one he thought she might like to read, the text conversations they'd had the last few days giving him more insight into the depths of who she was.

Reaching for Ji-a's hand and linking her fingers with his, he didn't let go for the rest of the night. And after that he didn't bother keeping count of the times they met, sliding naturally into the relationship he'd always wanted, easily managing his time to include her, to become a couple that always spent time together. Because, when it really came down to it, love could actually be very simple. When it's right.