Young Justice: Doom & Rebirth]
by Spaceman
Start: February 18. 2022
DISCLAIMER
I do not own Young Justice or any of the related characters. The Young Justice series is by Brandon Vietti and Greg Weisman and owned by DC Comics. This story is a work of fanfiction and is for entertainment only. I am not making profit from this story. All rights of Young Justice belong to DC Comics. All other characters other an OCs beyond to their respective creators and owners. This is a fanfiction for non-profit entertainment.
Note:
Suggestions and Constructive Criticisms are Welcome. Flames are ignored. Note that any suggestion will take time to add to the story as while I'm posting Chapter Seventeen (Ch 17), I'm currently writing Chapter Thirty-Seven (Ch 37). Each Chapter is Over Ten Thousand Words Long (+10K/Chapter). Some of the later Chapters are Over Twenty Thousand Words Long (+20K/Chapter), and One is Over Thirty Thousand Words Long (+30K Words).
Chapter 16 Comments
BlackhawkRookie - NewMystery will be handling that part as I never played the game. Every character has a place, but one character is going to get a very special place. (hint)
Alan – I have only begun to crossover.
d8rkforcen1ght7 - Queen of Escalation and the Apostle of Cocaine.
Egresadon2222 – Incoming
coldblue2015 (fav reviewer) - (1) Abridged Future is looking cloudy. Eightball might need to be cleaned. (2) Any country with a history of human rights violations would be willing to perform human weapons experiments. Which means they are F-ed. (3) Cognito will not be limited to Earth and Earth will have to learn to play nice. (4) (rattle) Eightball says it's looking possible.
Chapter 17: [Fallen Stars] - Part 4 – Star Diver.
*DOOM*
October 21, 2013 - Rorschach discovered a psychic girl called Ace being held US Government Black Site. After reducing the General in charge to the consistency of Ragu meat sauce, Rorschach escaped with Ace leaving behind an Anti-Metal bomb. The League talked him down enough that didn't immediately conquer America and begin executions. I don't know what Superman said, but Kal must have a perfect 20 in Charisma to pull it off.
October 22, 2013 - Rorschach has adopted the little Esper girl with me as the Godfather. Rorschach hacked the computer systems and stole all the data. I learned Ace's original name was Candace Clover, but she doesn't want to use that name. She has similar history to DCAU's Ace of Clubs of Joker's Royal Flush Gang. Another ironic name since Clover is French suit for Clubs in the Italian-Spanish suited cards.
October 28, 2013 – The government has been doing a serious cleanup. Everyone connected to the Esper Soldier project has been arrested or turned up dead. Thankfully, the President wasn't aware of the project, so Rorschach's temper has cooled. Rorschach things some of the Project members were eliminated by the Light. I'm guessing Savage and Co want to avoid Rorschach's Wrath.
October 30, 2013 – Cognito implanted Ace with bio-nano implant that should enable her to better control her abilities. This organic computer will enable Ace to hopefully live a long full life without her own growing psychic powers killing her (and everyone around her). Since the implant was constructed with her own cloned cells filled with mitochondria-size machines there is no chance of her body rejecting it.
October 31, 2013 – 24-hour marathon of horror anime. The girls all went out to a Halloween Party. When they got back, they were half-naked and covered in slime. They also decided to stay in and watch Halloween comedies like Ernest Scared Stupid.
*DOOM*
Rorschach's Ink Well
November 8, 2013
08:30
1POV
"So how are things, Ace?" I ask to my new goddaughter.
"Dad has been working hard. He's been helping Mama Maxima with Outer Heaven."
Queen Maxima was quick to adopt Ace as her own daughter. Almeracians possess strong psychic abilities, which primarily manifest through their combat abilities such as pyrokinesis and molecular manipulation, but she has been training her new daughter. She also has help from Maxima's lover Primaa (who occasionally bodyguards/babysits) and M'gann M'orzz. Miss Martian's own psychic abilities have been refined by being forced to teach.
"He's been focusing on something called Project: Moonfall."
*Beep*
I activate the Party Chat of my limited Gamer system.
"Hello? Rorschach?"
"Ash, I need a little help on the Moon. I'll open a portal."
"Ace, I'm going to go help your dad. It shouldn't take too long." I say to the little goth psychic, then I turn to Primaa, "You take care of her, while I go see what Rorschach wants?"
"No problem, Sir Ash."
As an immensely powerful being, the best friend of "King Rorschach" and a Knight of Atlantis, I'm considered an unofficial "Royal Knight".
A monochromatic portal open and I walk through it.
*DOOM*
The surface of the moon, near Outer Heaven base.
Same time
1POV
As I walk out of the portal, I feel all the air in my clothing and in my lung disperse into the vacuum of space. I can also feel the difference in gravity and adjust by altering my tactical telekinesis. It's an ability that Kryptonians possess, but rarely thing about as it's a secondary power meant to support main powers. It allows Superman to lift obscenely heavy objects without sinking into the ground, carrying planes without tearing through them, and move people without tearing them apart.
Rorschach is near me dressed in his sleek personal black-and-white spacesuit.
The problem is very obvious as there is huge ravine in the surface of the moon which is rapidly expanding. Black tentacles covered in glowing yellow eyes are emerging. It's completely silent on the moon due to the lack of atmosphere, but I can feel the vibrations from the ground beneath me.
"So, what is that thing supposed to be?" I ask Rorschach using the Chat, which doesn't require me to actually speak. It's like a digital form of telepathy.
"Ancient cosmic horror sealed in the moon by magic." replies Rorschach, "Didn't realize it was there until my construction broke the prison stone."
"Stone?"
"Stone. It was the size of a bowling ball, looked like all the other moon rocks, and was buried five kilometers deep. The second the rock broke, this thing appeared and grew full size in less than a minute. It was like a bomb going off."
"How big?"
"It's mostly amorphic, but it has a mass of a hundred thirty-six thousand metric tons. That's a thousand Blue Whales worth of Eldritch meat."
"You're having problems?"
"Normally, I would just have the nanomachines and crystal construction consume it, but it's other-universal nature is screwing up my sensors like 11Eyes."
"Gotcha."
I run towards the crevice and release my hook fist into the depths – a serrated whip of bone and flesh that can hook into people and objects like Scorpion rope-dart. I pull myself down into the abyss and begin tearing into the black flesh. It releases all manner of the foul organic liquids, which become droplets of air in the cold space.
I can feel the horror reacting and attempting to remove me. It sends antibodies resembling balls of fur with teeth, but they can't bite through someone who can survive exploding Novas. It floods parts of its body with corrosive liquids that would turn the hardest metals of Earth into sludge. It fills parts of its body with toxic gases and attempt to blow me out. Both fail as I'm hooked deep and continue to bore deeper.
I finally locate the horror's only true organs, it's seven polymorphic cores. The beachball-size blobs move trying to avoid me and even when I damage one of them, it's repaired by the others. Finally, I manage to grab and stab each one leaving a bone spike in each one to prevent regeneration. As I pierce the seventh and final core, I can hear an impossible scream. That eldritch scream would destroy the minds of most mortals, but it's just loud and annoying to me.
As the cosmic horror dies and becomes subject to the laws of the physical universe, it dissolves into dirty black goo that resembles raw petroleum. There are bubbles as gases escape from the breeched Outer Heaven facility and I feel myself falling deeper and deeper.
I finally burst out of the bottom of the liquifying monster, fall twenty feet, and slam into a hard crystalline metal floor. As I lie on the floor, I watch as the black ooze above is absorbed by glowing blobs of liquid metal and crystal. For a moment I can see the beautiful stars of space, when the crevice is filled with growing crystals and metal cables. As the ceiling itself seals itself, sound returns as I can hear atmosphere being pumped into the chamber.
I slowly get up and inhale the fresh air. I look around to see I'm in a very expansive place.
"What do you think?" says Rorschach, "Modified Kryptonian crystal technology and claytronic converters are expanded Outer Heaven. We also have the coolest power source in the universe – a Baby Universe Bleed Reactor. This facility will not only be a second home to the Almeracians, but the Nine Thousand as well."
"What do I think? I think I need a shower." I say as a wipe off the oily ooze on my body. I also pick up a small creature off the floor. It looks like black/yellow snail with black eyes and is ominously chanting in what sounds like Latin. When my omnilingualism finally translates what he's saying, I'm horrified and disgusted. I quickly crush the snail-shaped parasite in a spray of glowing phosphorous green ooze.
"Let's find you a shower."
*DOOM*
November 13, 2013 – While at Mount Justice, I overheard how various Magicians and supernatural beings are reacting to strange changes in the moon. If they only knew how much of the moon has been replaced with crystal and nanomechanical constructs. I can only imagine what kind of chaos he caused when he had me kill of the moon horror. I did hear them say something about werewolf orgy which made my eyes go wide.
November 14, 2013 - In Hero News, a female Illusionist – Miss Vanish –accidentally cast a contagious spell that made clothing and items invisible to others but not the owner. Thousands of people were completely nude to observers, but fully clothed to themselves and any camera that viewed them saw them dressed normally. Even Wonder Woman and Superman were affected the spell, but not other members of the League whose secret identities would be exposed. Doctor Fate eventually broke the spell and gave the embarrassed Miss Vanish a long lecture. I can see why this kind of story never made it into the comics or animated shows.
November 26, 2013 – Cognito Way Station captured an extraterrestrial ship that was trying to reach Earth. Rorschach made contact with the owner – a member of the Hunters (the Yautja) from the Aliens vs Predator series in our world. Rorschach was just going to tell the Earth was no longer a Hunting ground, but the Yautja- Broken Brow – revealed he was an Enforcer sent to stop a Bad Blood. A Bad Blood that had already reached Earth.
*DOOM*
Darién Gap
Colombia–Panama, South America
November 27, 2013
The tree behind me explodes after my body collides with it. I was just struck by the tail of my opponent.
My opponent is an immense serpentine creature standing four and half meters tall with a black exoskeleton, a banana-shaped skull with a large crest, a long spine-like tail, and razor-sharp claws on its digitigrade feet and four arms. My opponent is screaming in absolute rage, but she is not unharmed. She drips corrosive blood as she moves, which leaks from cracks and cuts in her armor.
She is a Xenomorph Queen. The xenomorphs themselves are biological weapons, eusocial biomechanical parasitoids designed to wipe out the populations of entire planets. These serpents have one of most horrific life cycles in the universe. They capture animals, including sentient creatures, forcibly implant them with their young. These young burst out of the hosts when they mature and grow into drones that kill invaders and collect more animals. Given enough time, new queens are born until the planet is ruled by hives under an Empress.
Why am I fighting a Xenomorph Queen in Central America?
Yesterday, Rorschach encountered a member of the Hunters (the Yautja), a member of the law-enforcement caste sent to eliminate a psychotic Bad Blood. Bad Bloods is the phrase used for any Yautja that has turned against its own kind and severely violated aspects of the Yautja Honor Code - intentional or not. They will do things like hunt unarmed civilians and pregnant females, murder comrades, and worse.
Rorschach needed my help and I'm the only person that can easily survive a conflict between the Yautja and the Xenomorphs.
This lunatic of a Bad Blood was going to free a Queen Xenomorph left on Earth. The Bad Blood wanted revenge on his entire race, so we would turn the sacred hunting grounds of their people into a desolate wasteland ruled by the "hard meat" as they call them.
The Elder Enforcer – Broken Brow – was not happy to be working with a metahuman, as their kind dislike meta-abilities as cheats. He seemed to open up a little when he learned I had an impressive hunting record and that could fluently speak his language. He also saw my usefulness when I blocked the barrage of plasma blasts from a trap the Bad Blood – Green Fang – set for the Elder.
I leap at the Queen and wrestle her to the ground, it's not easy considering she is twice my size. I do have the advantage in strength and soon I'm twisting the head. I continue to twist despite its insanely loud screeches. With a sudden jolt, the head is torn off the body in a high-pressure spray of bio-mechanical flesh and molecular acid. The living HR Giger sculpture collapses as the head and body are separated.
"I told you I could kill it without blades or fire." I say in the Yauja language.
While exterminating Xenomorphs, I had been using by bone blades to easily slice through them. I'm also strong and durable enough to easily punch through their exoskeletons ignoring the goo. Their tails, claws, and inner jaws can't break my hide. In the comics, Xenormorphs were only a threat to Superman when he was drained of solar energy on a deep space colony. The second he was back in the light of sol; he vomited out the chest buster inside him and a drone broke its teeth trying to bite him.
Broken Brow decloaks next to me. He's the same height as me at over seven and half feet tall, muscular, with dark blue reptilian skin. HIs "dreadlocks" are graying and he's very wrinkled under the mask he wears, something that takes centuries.
"I'm impressed, Ash" replies the Elder, "More impressive than some of my own students, but they didn't possess your durability."
"Thanks" I say as I store Queen's head inside my Inventory – It's far smaller than Rorschach's full Gamer Inventory, but there is just enough space for my trophy.
"Why are you storing everything? You are immune to the blood."
"Rorschach is about to release his final solution."
There is a screeching sound as more drones arrive to avenge their Queen, but their movements are slow. Their movements are getting slower and slower, twitching with pain. Finally, they collapse to ground and weakly struggle.
"What is happening to them?" asks Broken Brow as he looks closely at one of the dying Xenomorphs.
"Nano-Pathogen." says Rorschach, decloaking next to Broken Brow, "It feeds on the acid blood of these creatures and creates a chemical compound that dehydrates on a cellular level. All that will be left is withered husks and any creature implanted with embryo will be cured of the parasite."
I translate for Broken Brow, since while he can understand some English, he's not fluent in the language of prey. I ask a question "How far did you spread it?"
"Most of central America and the surrounding ocean. We don't need an infestation." replies Rorschach, "The chemical compound that dehydrates the alien cells will also make genetic samples unviable, so we don't have to worry about Cadmus punks or anyone else attempting to clone them."
Broken Brow drives his spear into the head of one of the Xenomorphs, but when he pulls it out it's not smoking from acid. Instead, the tip of the spear is covered in a sticky powder.
"Your poisons are most impressive, Chief Rorschach."
*DOOM*
November 28, 2013 - Broken Brow left for his home world after killing Green Fang and helping us prevent the spread of Xenomorph. The Xenomorph Infestation Neutralization Organism (XINO) has destroyed all remaining creatures. Now possessing biodata on the creatures, Cognito was able to do a planetary scan for Xeno and Yauja life scans. We found some people that encountered Yauja, but no Predators themselves. We did find more Xenomorphs in alien cryogenic storage around the world and also had them destroyed.
December 2, 2013 – Rorschach mentioned he made a deal with the Yautja about creating a Hunting ground. Earth is becoming unviable due to the rise of metahumans and interest of various races of extraterrestrials. He mentioned something about criminals and clones, I can imagine what he has in mind.
December 13, 2013 – Rorschach said something about taking a trip to the Sun. I didn't get the rest because New York was invaded by another Universe.
*DOOM*
New York City
New York, USA
December 13, 2013
4:45
"I Hate Monkeys"
Connor had many reasons to dislike monkeys in canon. He had to fight MONQI, the robot monkeys on Professor Ivo. He had to face Joker's exploding monkeys in a psychic vision. He fought Monsieur Mallah and Ultra-Humanite (who are technically apes not monkeys). It was a long running gag.
A glowing purple rift opened in New York and the city was invaded by large army of heavily armed humanoid apes. They look like Gorilla-men from Planet of the Apes dressed like soldiers from Modern Warfare game. They attacked everyone with lethal intent, slaughtering helpless civilians.
Thankfully heroes quickly arrived to protect the civilians and take out the ape soldiers. The girls and me also helped, not actually caring if we severely hurt of the soldiers. I have no problem punching the soldiers with my full strength, liquifying organs of my enemies. I can see the fear in the eyes of the Ape Army when they watch their weapons do nothing against my grey skin. It feeds my inner monster as I release my fire breathe.
I then watch as the soldiers of the Ape Army begin to collapse, their bodies withering before my eyes. The apes sound the retreat and escape back to their portals, those that are still alive.
I walk over to Rorschach and ask "Did that seem kind of familiar to you?"
"An otherworldly army invading Earth through a Rift? The Gate anime and one of the fanfics I was writing." replies Rorschach.
"Not that. I mean how they got old and retreated. It was just like the Flaxans from Invincible!"
Flaxans are a race of Inter-dimensional beings that were set on conquering planet Earth and killing its humans. What was unique about them was Earth and the Flaxan world operated at different times. During their first invasion attempt, the Flaxans retreated when they began to age an accelerated rate.
*DOOM*
December 14, 2013 - NYC - The Ape Army invaded for a second time, this time with technology that was a hundred years more advance than previous completely with power-boosting combat armor and directed energy weapons. Rorschach had the solution much like Robot, releasing an energy pulse that caused the temporal compensators to break. This forced the aging apes to retreat again. After the battle, I gave Rorschach a look.
December 15, 2013 – NYC - The Ape Army invaded for the third time, this time with technology that was even more advance and adapted to fight the Heroes. Rorschach had also planned for their advancement setting up special shield emitters that would place barriers in front of the rifts. These energy barriers would prevent people from exiting the rift into our reality. Rorschach then launches a device into one of the Rifts, which causes all of them to close.
When asked, Rorschach said "The Ape Army is neutralized. There won't be any more Rifts."
*DOOM*
Imperial Capital
Land of Sovereign
Planet Affe
(December 15, 2013)
DOOMSDAY
3POV
The Great Empire of Koba has ruled Planet Affe for centuries. It was Koba the Conqueror - who conquered the Great continent, finally unifying the great tribes under a single ruler. It was Koba the Second who finally united the world under one rule as Emperor Koba the Unifier. It was Koba the Fifth – The Wise – that led the people into a golden age of science and technology.
Two hundred years ago, when Koba the XVIII legion of loyal scientists discovered a world inhabited by hairless apes, he decided to become known as Koba Conqueror of Worlds – finally surpassing his ancestors. It was easy enough to convince the population to support his invasion as they had wiped out the inferior races of Affe and the "humans" resembled impure Hairless Ones in their mythology.
Two hundred years ago, the first invasion was a disaster due to the temporal anomalies between worlds. It took almost a century to develop the temporal compensators that would protect them from the aging effect.
One hundred years ago, the second invasion was a humiliation. The devil-empowered hairless ones were prepared for their invasion despite their superior technology. The faceless one was able to destroy the temporal compensators.
Now, the army enters the Rift for the third and hopefully final time.
Suddenly, a black case shoots out of the Rift and lands on the platform. It moves around, then projects a holographic image of the Faceless One.
"You don't seem to understand. Earth isn't yours to conquer."
The black case glows a bright white, then rises into the air. It forms a glowing sphere of white energy, that slowly pulsates. Some of the less disciplined soldiers open fire on the sphere in panic, but their solid projectiles fail to hit. They burst into cold liquid metal before they can even touch the surface the sphere. The directed energy weapons also fail, seemly feeding the sphere more energy.
The sphere rapidly grows from one meter radius to over ten meters in radius, and metal objects within a hundred meters break and liquify. The Rifts violently close as the machines generating them dissolve. Soldiers panic as their armor liquify. One scientist collapses as medical implants inside his body also become liquid. The energy is so intense even the trace elements in their bodies are affected shattering bone and boiling blood.
The sphere detonates a violent explosion with the force of small nuclear bomb. It also releases an energy shockwave that spreads the anti-metal effect. The Ape Army's vast supply of vehicles and weapons explode into metal droplets becoming part of the wave. Buildings collapse as the steel holding them up explode. Soon cities and roads are collapsing, planes are exploding, and boats become like mud in the ocean. Even satellites in orbit explode like burst water balloons.
Within seconds, the entire Ape civilization is wiped out as every piece of metal on the surface of the planet becomes liquid. Most of the Land of Sovereign is consumed by fire storms as the anti-metal effect is so intense it ignites the metal particles
Only a couple of thousand Apes survive out of a population of eleven billion. A bunch of rebels and criminals living on a penal on the complete opposite side of the planet to the Imperial throne. It will be up to the people of Ape Australia to restore the world
*DOOM*
December 25, 2013 – I popped the question to the girls showing them the Ring ability I got in Cadmus Upsilon. They said YES! I think I would have had a heart attack if I still had a biological heart!
The legal status of polygamy varies widely around the world. Polygyny (one-man and multiple wives) is legal in fifty-eight out of nearly two hundred sovereign states, the vast majority of them being Muslim-majority countries. Polyandry (one woman and many men) is illegal in virtually every country and strictly prohibited in Islam. Several non-Muslim countries (especially in Sub-Saharan Africa) permit polygyny among Muslims in their communities. Some countries that permit polygamy have restrictions, such as requiring the first wife to give her consent.
Atlantis and Almeracan embassy allow polygamy. Atlantis was founded by Vandal Savage who has had thousands of wives, many at the same time. He had five wives and five hundred concubines as Genghis Khan. Multiple partners helped during the revival after the sinking of Atlantis. It's not very popular these days and Mera would probably cut off Orin's "sushi roll" if he asked. On the other hand, there are universes in which Diana joins them in a threesome.
Almeracans had a simple look towards marriage, if it's good for the bloodline, it's good under the law. Almeracan royalty practiced the "heir and spare" philosophy with the spare being the child of the second wife. If Rorschach finds a worthy woman to be his second wife, he can get approval from Maxima. Rorschach even mentioned there are books on seducing the first wife when I notice Maxima's lover Primaa.
Rorschach also got me a gag gift for Christmas. A giant plushie Oozaru (Great Ape) from DBZ. I actually love the thing.
*DOOM*
January 7, 2014 – Hero News - Justice League International. The United Nations announced the expansion of the Justice League. There is now Justice League of Asia, Justice League of Europe, and Justice League of Oceania. Asia containing hero teams from China, Hong Kong, Japan, Thailand, and Korea. Europe includes the Heroes of the United Kingdom and European Union. Oceania is very spread out includes Australasia (Australia and New Zealand), Melanesia, Micronesia and Polynesia.
January 13, 2014 – Hero News - A group of metahumans attacked Cognito facility in Southern Europe and were defeated by a combination of Cognito forces and JLE heroes. The captured metahumans revealed they were working for a clandestine group connected to members of OPEC (Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries). The group believed Cognito latest environmental technologies would pose a threat to petroleum export industry and also believed attacks by biomechanical worms on oil fields to be the work of Cognito (actually attacks done by The Light using mimics of the Ocean Cleansers).
January 24, 2014 – Rorschach revealed to me a secret he's been keeping since October of 2013.
*DOOM*
The Sun
October 25, 2013
3POV
Rorschach was in a bad mood from dealing with the people of the Esper Soldier Project, so he decided to enjoy a small spaceflight and test one of his experiments.
He had built a special spaceship for the project instead of using the Outer Haven. The ship is very small being only thirty meters long, eighteen meters wide, and seven meters high. The entire ship is composed of advance nanomaterials, coated in heat resistance, radiation reflection, and phase-shift armor plates. It's a beautiful Delta-shape ship in white and black armor.
The experiment was a new type of metaphasic shield that would allow spaceships and probes to survive pressures and temperatures of stars without harm. He spent a day, dropping probes into the photosphere of the sun, while flying through the corona. These probes could absorb energy from the sun without being damaged by the G2V Star.
He was enjoying flying under the arcs of solar prominence and making patterns with the magnetic fields, when his sensors detecting something in close orbit to the sun. He was shocked by what his scanners were detecting and used his portal technology to grab the object and place it in a pocket dimension until he could get it back to Earth. The holographic display shows the object – a one-person pod marked with the symbol of the House of El!
*DOOM*
Special Guest Area - KR
Outer Heaven, The Moon
January 24, 2014
1POV
"Kara Zor-El"
The beautiful cousin of Kal-El stands in front of me. She stands five-foot-six with blue eyes and long flowing golden blonde hair. She is wearing a variant of her uniform with a blue top covering his arms to her wrists, yellow belt, red shirt, and red boots above the knees. She also has a red cape and the S-symbol of the Kryptonian House of El on her chest
"You are Rorschach's best friend – Ash Grey?"
"Correct." I say as I shift to my full seven-foot-seven gray-skinned red-eyed form.
"What are you? Rorschach didn't explain beyond saying you were made by mad scientists in some place called Cadmus."
Rorschach didn't tell her!?
"I'm a binary clone of Kal El and a human named Lex Luthor fused with a bioweapon created by Dru-Zod."
Kara shifts back to her native language when she swears. My omnilingualism quickly gives me the ability to fluently speak Kryptonese in the Argonian dialect.
"Yes, I know. A fragment of your home world contained the sealed canister of Zod's pathogen. It's also sick that the majority of surviving Kryptonians are the Phantom Zone criminals."
"You speak my language?"
"I do now. You're not the only one with a bunch of weird powers."
I then turn to Rorschach and ask "What did you tell her?"
"I talked about Supes daily life as a human reporter and hero work as Superman. Anything she could find out watching the Hero News. She also knows Clark is married to Lois and they have a son Jonathan."
I can imagine it was a shock. When she was placed in the pod by her father, Kal-El was baby that she would often babysit when the parents were busy. When she awoke from her time in her pod, she finds out her baby cousin in a man with a career, a wife, and a son. He's even a famous hero with superpowers granted by Earth's yellow sun.
"So, you didn't tell her about me or Connor?"
"Connor?" asks Kara, looking confused.
"Cadmus wanted to create a clone of Superman to fight and/or replace him. There first cloning attempt Project Match failed due to the complexity of Kryptonian DNA. The second cloning attempt was Project Kr, a binary clone that combined Kal with a human and little genomorph. The third accidental cloning was Project Qliptoth which resulted in my own birth."
"So, I have three artificial relatives?"
"Correct, assuming the Light doesn't have others hidden away. Rorschach healed Match."
"He goes by the name Matt now." adds Rorschach.
"Connor is dating a Ma'aleca'andran girl called M'gann M'orzz and they are getting serious."
"Ash is dating half a dozen girls."
Kara looks wide eyed at me.
"They are the ones that jump me. I'm not cheating on any of them. They tend to seduce each other to get permission before jumping me."
"I heard rumors that Earth was a very lewd planet." says a blushing Kara.
"Two are Tamaraneans. One of them is the half-demon princess of Azarath. One is the demon princess of the Shadowlands. My last two girls are part Human part Kherabim part Pseudo-Daemonite clones." I reply to Kara, "Earth is just a gathering place for the Galaxy's weirdness."
"So, how's my progress?" Kara asks Rorschach.
"You have been at Outer Heaven for ninety days. At your current progress you should be ready to go to Earth in another ninety days."
Kara's escape pod was damaged and instead of landing on Earth, it ended up trapped in orbit around the Sun. In another couple of years, the orbit would have decayed to the point she would have died. This is assuming she didn't die from her cells overloading from the intense solar energy. When Rorschach retrieved her, her cells were already at saturation and her strength was completely out of control when she woke up.
"So, why are you revealing her to me?" I ask.
"Other than you being family and my best friend, she needs someone to spar against."
"Are you sure? My strength is pretty insane." says Kara
"Don't worry, I'm very tough and pretty strong."
Kara quickly learns I'm in a class of my own, when I toss her hard enough to leave lasting impressions in the foam walls of the training room. I end up making six more impressions before she surrenders. Rorschach then tells me the walls aren't foam but reinforced nanometal stronger than steel – Oops.
*DOOM*
January 24, 2014 – Rorschach revealed to me a secret he's been keeping since October of 2013. That secret – Kara Zor-El – Supergirl. He rescued Kara's escape pod from a decaying orbit around the Sun and has been handling her treatment. They have only known each other for thirty days, but they seem close. I spared against Kara and overestimated the durability of the training area.
January 27, 2014 – I bought Kara a gift to make up for the bruised backside. Since I'm shit at picking out gifts, I asked the other girls to help me. Rorschach said it was OK to let them in on the secret. One gift that was my idea is a baby book I got from the Kents. All of Clark Kent's most embarrassing moments cheered up Kara. I can only imagine Supes face when he finds out.
January 28, 2014 – Batman found out about Kara. Does he have the Kents bugged? Rorschach is making sure he keeps quiet or Baby Bruce Wayne get spread across the Internet. Selina and Talia already got advance copies of the photos and I could feel the Bat's embarrassment. Delicious. Little Damian looks near identical to his dad at that age.
February 6, 2014 – Cognito has expanded into new markets. There is a new Fashion department selling nano-textile clothing and Talent Agency handling models and entertainers. It reminds me of Real Fashion from Hunter-verse and I learned the Head of the new Divisions is an Advance Synthroid resembling Re-L Mayer from Ergo Proxy.
Many characters of from the Final Fantasy worlds are doing remarkably well as models and entertainers. Sephiroth is the most surprising, as he has become very chill with the destruction of Jenova's influence. He only threatens if Silver Elite (his screaming fangirls) show up. He also has friends in the form of fellow SOLDIER First Classes - Angeal Hewley and Genesis Rhapsodos – who were also cured of Jenova's corruptive influence.
February 14, 2014 – Valentine's Day - I should have stayed home with the girls.
*DOOM*
New Orleans, Louisiana, US
February 14, 2014 – Valentine's Day
Afternoon
I got a Romantic idea for Valentine's Day. I had Rorschach set a "time turner" device to use portals to travel back in time twenty-four hours multiple times. I spent the entire day and night with one girl, go back in time and spent time with the next girl. I don't get tired, so they get to enjoy me all to themselves for a day and I get to experience six days of hot and romantic Valentine's Day.
I forgot that I live in a comic book universe.
*DOOM*
Day 1 – My Day with Blackfire in the Florida Keys.
Thanks to Rorschach's weather manipulation it was beautiful day on the beaches on the Florida. Our romantic day was interrupted when an army of humanoid shark soldiers emerged from the ocean. They were speaking some form of ancient Atlantean language, but it only took be seconds to understand it.
Centuries ago, a mad king transformed a group of Atlanteans into shark men to be his elite warriors. They were magically bound to the will of the King for as long the King lived. When the King was defeated, but not killed, they were sealed in magical vessel at the bottom of the sea. When the Nameless King was finally destroyed (by me eating the pearl containing the soul), the containment spell decayed.
I talked to the leader, challenging him as Knight of Atlantis. After I beat most of his teeth out, he acknowledged my authority. I had Rorschach transport the lot to Atlantis to swear the loyalty to King Orin. This also resulted in Ceremony in which I was declared the Knight Commander of the Order of Megaladon Knights.
I'm just glad the Atlantean Waterbeds were so nice. Me and Blackfire wore one of them out.
*DOOM*
Day 2 – My Day with Raven in New York, NY.
My wonderful day with the beautiful half-demon sorceress was interrupted when a member of the Spider-Clan showed up. The multi-versal Spider-Men and Spider-Women had recovered at Rorschach's Rescue & Recovery Site, but they had begun to explore the new world. This is probably due their all consume sense of responsibility and guilt that drives most Spider-people.
Miles and Gwen ended up encountering a new super villainess named Désirée, who could cause intense feelings of sexual desire and euphoria. I could tell Miles was very embarrassed by the porno plot he walked into and since I'm immune to chemicals, psychic attacks, and magic, I would be able to help.
I had Rorschach send me a Stun Gun and opened a portal to Désirée location. One shot and she was unconscious. I then had her sent to Rorschach for analyze and neutralization. Miles left and apologized for the interruption.
"Sometimes you don't need a lot of powers, you just need to calm down and think about things."
*DOOM*
Day 3 – My Day with Jade Chan in Hong Kong.
Jade and Me were enjoying the Great Gardens. The thousands of metahuman that decided to stay in Hong Kong constructed an immense garden with monuments to those that died at the claws of the Dragons. There are more than four hundred thousand species of flowers, a result of the connection to the Green allowing the resurrection of even dead species.
We were at a floating restaurant near the Great Garden when an army of undead appeared led by some sort of undying Chinese Sorcerer. I wasn't interested in fighting the animated corpses and Jade's magical barriers prevented the undead from getting anywhere close to the restaurant. I would have left them to the local heroes, but then the sorcerer did something that pissed off the Green enough that Swamp Thing appeared.
Thinks were clearly getting out of control, so I super-leaped off the ship and came down next to the Sorcerer and Swamp Thing. I interrupted the sorcerer's villain speech, slicing him clean in half from head to crotch.
"Don't you hate those stupid speeches?"
"Who are you?" comes Swamp Thing's rumbling voice.
"Ash Grey the Doomsday. You can call me a friend or at least an ally against undead scum"
I reach down and pull an amulet out of the bisected sorcerer's clothing. The undying sorcerer is still struggling to put his new halves back together.
"Fools. Nothing can damage my amulet" says the sorcerer in archaic Chinese, not easy considering only his head has refused together.
"That was then, this is now." I say as I pop the amulet into my mouth and bite down hard. The amulet shatters between my rows of sharp teeth and disintegrates. The sorcerer's soul disperses producing an eerie scream. Swamp Thing is as unemotional as an Oak Tree, but watches as the sorcerer's body is instantly consumed by green flames. The fine ash crumbles and blows away in a faint wind. The rest of the undead army follow their master, bursting into green flames before shattering into ash and cinders.
Suddenly, in the center of the Great Garden where the sorcerer was conducting a ritual there is an explosion. The ceremonial items explode into fragments and a pillar of gold-green light pierces the sky. I've only seen something like this once before, in the Legend of Korra.
"Spirit Portal."
*DOOM*
Day 5 – My day with Starfire in Paris, France
Starfire's day was supposed to be Day 4, but I ended up spending a day talking to Doctor Fate and the various magi about the Spirit Portal. He also wasn't happy about me using Temporal looping to have a romantic Valentine's Day. I again reminded him I could literally eat his helmet. When he tried to be intimidating, I gave him the finger.
My day with Starfire was interesting, enjoying the many beautiful and romantic sites of the City of Light. It was remarkably nice, until The Chocolatier arrived. A newbie super villain who can make golems out of chocolate and can make chocolates that have various effects. Starfire defeated him in less than two minutes, letting me enjoy my ice-cream – how sweet of her.
When The Chocolatier loses consciousness all of his golems become chocolate statues, which are quickly devoured by both natives and tourists. Apparently, while he is a crappy super villain, he's a gourmet chocolatier.
The Chocolatier's history was more interesting than the villain himself. Primo Paul Peeters was the son of a Belgium father and a Swiss mother, born in France. His entire family is involved in chocolate and candy making, and he's been around the world to Ecuador, the Ivory Coast, United Kingdom, Italy, and United States. According to the records he actually got his powers from a relic of Quetzalcoatl – the feathered serpent god - "the giver of the drink of the gods, chocolate".
Rorschach drags The Chocolatier into one of his portals.
"So, you're not giving him to the police?" asks Starfire
"It would be a waste of a candy maker. I'll fix his chemical imbalance and hire him."
I notice a police officer nearby and raise an eyebrow.
"I would rather pay for his chocolate than pay taxes for his imprisonment" says the policeman in French, "I'm also not going against Cognito and one of most feared men in the world."
Smart man.
*DOOM*
Day 6 – My date with Maximilla in Venice, Italy.
Phantom Thief Luca, A mysterious thief possessing numerous magical abilities and always wearing a gold Venetian carnival mask. He steals from the rich and corrupt members of society, donates money to the poor, and acts as vigilante against violent criminals.
After an army of shark men in the Florida Keys, metahuman villainess in New York, an undead army in Hong Kong, and divine-empowered candy maker in Paris, I could guess someone was going to show up. With a little research, I guessed it would be Phantom Thief Luca. Thankfully, he sounds more annoying than an actual threat.
"Phantom Thief Luca has arrived!" says an Italian man dressed in black outfit with a gold/white Carnival mask. "Welcome to the Splendor of Venice, Mister Grey. How much will you donate to..."
"Will this do?" I interrupt handing over Fifty Thousand Euro ($58.969.22 USD in 2022).
"Huh?"
"I know your popular with the tourists and Venice could be gone in a hundred years, but I hear to have a romantic day with my beautiful fiancée. So, let's skip the show for today and move on."
"I see your point. Thank you for your donation!"
Phantom Thief Luca vanishes in a puff of smoke and I turn to Maximilla.
"This time I didn't need to fight or use strategy, I just do what most rich celebrities and politicians do – throw money at the problem until it goes away."
*DOOM*
Day 7 – My Date with Priss in New Orleans, LA.
We were having a nice quiet dinner at a small restaurant owned by a friend of the original Priscilla.
Priscilla and Maximilla are the only girls with connections to this world. Blackfire and Starfire only have each other and all of their relatives were on Tamaran, not that Blackfire cares about that. Jade's human counterpart and family exist in her "home dimension", and she discarded her humanity to become stronger. Raven's mother had a bad relationship with her parents, which is probably how she ended up in a devil-worshipping cult as the bride.
Priss and Max have encountered the family of the original Priscilla. They consist of Priscilla's grandmother and her cousin' family. They were horrified to learn the fate of the original, but they didn't blame the clone twins. Instead, the Kitaen family accepted them as new members of the family. Her cousins' kids even considered them to heroes because of their powers.
"MawMaw is wondering about great grandkids?"
MawMaw – a French Cajun nickname for Grandmother. I used to call my grandmother Nan. Grandmother Priscilla Kitaen is the head of the family and Priss's namesake. She accepted the twins, not caring about their artificial origins.
"I asked Rorschach if it was possible. Even with his Rick-level Intelligence build, he can't make an accurate prediction." I say with blush, "He also believes my fertility may be connected to my mental state. I may be indestructible, but I scared of kids. It's a lot of responsibility and they are so fragile."
I don't think we can have kids until I'm ready and even in my past life I was terrifying holding a baby.
"You're not alone." says Priss comforting.
Suddenly, some teenager walks in acting suspicious and holding something under his jacket.
"Hold that thought, beautiful."
I walk up to the counter, before the teen can reach the counter. I block the young man's path, making him say "Hey!". He's a young mixed blood teen with brown eyes and short black hair. He's dressed in a thick coat and a cap.
"Stop. Just stop."
"What do you mean?"
"I can smell the gun oil."
The kid attempts to pull out the weapon, only for me to grab it. My superhumanly strong grip makes it impossible for the boy to move the small caliber handgun.
"You live in a world of superheroes and super freaks. Why are you ruining your life?"
"I... I need the money." says the boy, looking desperate.
"There are other ways to make money." I reply, "and you're not alone."
The owner of the Restaurant places his hand of the boy's shoulder, shocking him enough that he lets go of the gun. I quickly pull it from his grip and close my hand around it.
"Thank you, Mr. Grey. This foolish boy was about to make the worst mistake of his life."
"Mr. Williams? I?" says the boy.
I hold up the now crushed handgun and the boy quiets down.
*DOOM*
February 15, 2014 – My Week of Valentine's Day left my lovers happy, but left me mentally exhausted. I think I'll just be casual next year.
I heard there was an accident at Rorschach's Rescue & Recovery Site. Apparently, Desiree was given a sample of Chocolatier's chocolate and generated an explosion of her pink gas. Outside a few amorous couple finding rooms, the disaster was contained.
February 25, 2014 - Batgirl (Barbara Gordon), Bumblebee (Karen Beecher) and Lagoon Boy (La'gaan) join the Team Young Justice. So, some part of Canon survived, but the latter two probably would have started their careers and joined later this year. There are a bunch of differences. Bumblebee joining with her boyfriend Malcolm "Mal" Duncan, the new Guardian (with Rorschach's extremis enhancements instead of just martial arts training from Black Canary). Lagoon Boy brought a mechanical genius called Tra'mm from Atlantis to help around the headquarters.
March 14, 2014 - Antonia Louise "Toni" Monetti and Joseph William "Joey" Wilson also joined Young Justice.
Toni is a plasma-manipulating metahuman who goes by the name Argent. She is also the daughter of a former U.S. Senator from New Jersey despite being from New Zealand.
Joey is the son of Slade Wilson, better known as Deathstroke the Terminator. He was held hostage by his father's rivals as a child. His father rescued him, but in the process, he lost the ability to speak. His mother never forgave his father and the divorce was marked by a gunshot. As Jericho has psychic abilities with the most important being the ability to possess the bodies of others.
March 17, 2014 – Cognito Chocolates is operational. Rorschach sure works fast and I'm wondering if he'll leave any industry untouched. Business news also says Cognito has assimilated a bunch of smaller companies. Since resources is not an issue with Rick-level technology, Rorschach must just want to annihilate those companies. Nobody needs a future evil megacorporation – we already have Lexcorp.
*DOOM*
Rorschach's Ink Well
March 24, 2014
3:35 (according to the clock)
3POV
Samus Aran has always been a survivor. She survived the complete destruction of her colony and the murder of her parents by space pirate dragon Ridley. She was transformed and trained by the tribes of the Chozo. She fought for the Federation, before she became a famous Bounty Hunter hunting the scum of the universe. She killed thousands of different extraterrestrial monsters with the worst being the Metroids and the X Parasites. She even wiped out the majority of Space Pirates, including killing Ridley an absurd number of times. She even fought one of her Chozo fathers while transformed into a full Metroid.
What she just discovered just shocked her to her core.
"I'm pregnant?"
"Correct."
"That's impossible! I suppose to be sterile! I lost the ability to reproduce when I was augmented with Chozo genetics."
"Cognito nanomedicine corrected your sterility."
"The Chozo weren't able to correct it!"
"Doctor Genus is way smarter than the Chozo."
"The doctors didn't mention my fertility!"
"They are robots. If you don't ask, you don't get answers."
Samus slumps in her chair.
"Do you know the father?"
"What are you implying?"
"Nothing. Désirée's pheromone cloud can mess with memory."
"It's Link."
"That's Three."
"What?"
"Princess Zelda came in and learned she is pregnant. She mentioned she was in a group with Link and two other girls. Princess Peach came in and learned she is pregnant. She mentioned she was in a group with Link and two other girls. So, you're the third girl?"
"He managed to get all of us pregnant at the same time!?"
"The Hero of Time has always been able to pull off impossible odds."
There is a pause.
"So, how are we doing?"
The screen shows the outline of a human female, two anthropomorphic birds, a jellyfish with fangs, and X-shaped blob.
"Your completely healthy despite being a human with Chozo and Metroid genetics that suffered stressful atavistic awakening and has been exposed to various forms of meta-energy. The baby is also healthy."
The screen now adds a male with pointed ears.
"I do want to monitor your energy absorption. Not only can you absorb enough energy as Metroid to crash a spaceship, but Link's various incarnations have been able to absorb magic and he possesses the divine Triforce of Courage."
"Will there be any complications from his or her hybrid nature?" says Samus, holding her stomach and looking frailer than she physically is.
"I don't believe so. Hylian genetics are surprisingly adaptive. According to Zelda, there have been cases of Hylians having children with other races mostly Gerudo and Sheikah." comments Rorschach, "Princess Peach's genes are actually more troublesome than yours."
"What do mean?"
"The people of the Mushroom Kingdom are of a mixture of human and fungal hybrids. Despite being human, Peach has a lot of fungal genes. Genetically she is closer to her servant Toads than she is to Mario and Luigi."
*DOOM*
March 26, 2014 – Cognito Comics – Seriously? Cognito is now releasing award winning comic series by authors not of this world. They even produced their own book readers. This not only includes American comics and graphic novels, but Japanese manga, Korean manhwa, and Chinese manhua. There are even French Comics and webcomics. Thankfully they are using existing bookstore chains. Seriously, why is Cognito growing so much? He doesn't need the money, so I'm guessing it's influence?
April 1, 2014 – Hero TV - Atom and the Engineers captured a cloaked smuggler vessel in the Pacific. The information they received said it was filled with sex slaves. It was revealed to be filled with gynoid sex dolls! It turns out to be illegal to sell gynoids that fail certain regulations – namely if they resemble actual people or the apparently age is below legal. The Engineers seem upset that some of gynoids included ones that resembled them. - What do you expect, you look like a robot fetishist's wet dream?
April 11, 2014 – A group of extraterrestrial parasites attempted to invade Earth. If these plant-based parasites had reached Earth they would have replaced humans with doppelgängers and attempted to conquer the world. The Invasion of the Body Snatchers was prevented when Cognito's probes gathered up the cloud of spores and incinerated them.
April 22, 2014 – The Big Reunion between Kara and Clark is in two days. Thanks for the short notice, Rorschach!
*DOOM*
The Kent Farm
Smallville, Kansas
April 24, 2014 – Reunion.
Noon
1POV
There is a gathering at the Kent Farm.
Jonathan and Martha Kent. In 1978, they found a crash-landed extraterrestrial space ship and within it was the infant survivor of Krypton Kal-El. They adopted him and named him Clark.
Clark Kent. Formerly Kal-El of Krypton, who in 1998 began working for the Daily Planet. He also began to use his superhuman abilities granted by absorbing solar energy to save lives as the superhero Superman. In 2003, he and a group of heroes became the Justice League.
Lois Lane. A famous award-winning journalist who also works for the Daily Planet. She often got in trouble investigating news stories and got rescued by Superman enough that it became a Meme. Eventually, Clark told her his secret identity and their relationship evolved.
Jonathan "Jonny" Kent. Clark and Lois's half-human half-Kryptonian son and future Super-Son. Due to my actions, he was actually born earlier in this universe. I heard Cheshire is pregnant, so some things are still on schedule
Connor Kent, formerly known as Project Kr and also known as Kon-El, is a half-human half-Kryptonian created by Cadmus. He recently proposed to his girlfriend who said yes. This is way ahead of schedule as it would have taken him until July of 2018.
M'gann M'orzz of Ma'aleca'andra, also known as Megan Morse, and Miss Martian is White Martian of mixed heritage. Connor meeting her parents is already scheduled. She told me calling it Ma'aleca'andra instead of M'arzz or Mars is very formal in modern society, mostly do by politicians and the Reds.
I'm currently eating Martha's wonderful cooking and holding the record for the tallest man in Kansas. As Ash Grey the Doomsday I'm a seven-foot-seven gray-skinned monster of a man, but disguised as a human I'm merely a Connor's extremely tall brother. To tourists, I'm probably upholding the stereotype that they grow them big on the farm.
Komand'r of Tamaran, also known as Blackfire and Connie Anders, is my first girlfriend and one of my six beautiful fiancées. The orange-skinned extraterrestrial beauty was more than enough woman for me, but then my second girl seduced her and convinced her to let her join. I didn't resist because they are some of most beautiful women in the Universe.
Raven of Azaroth, also known as Rachel Roth of Earth. Is the second girl. One of three beautiful women I helped rescue from Cadmus Beta. The half-demon sorceress daughter of Trigon was kidnapped by a lunatic isekai protagonist which led to use adventuring in Hell for four years. When we got back, she seduced Blackfire to be with me.
Jade Chan, Queen of the Shadowlands and Queen of Shadowkahn, was accidentally summoned into this world during a Quest to fight the big bad Dragon King. The demon queen's powers involve Shadows and Souls, and she quickly became Raven's best (female) friend in combat and magic.
Koriand'r of Tamaran, also known as Starfire and Kori Anders, was corrupted by her sister. Apparently, back when they were young on Tamaran, Komand'r often pulled Koriand'r into mischief and trouble. This was before politics and bigotry pushed Komand'r into betraying Tamaran. On Earth, she wore Starfire down with lewd stories and secrets until I ended up with a new bedmate.
Priscilla and Maximilla were trinary-clones that we rescued from Dragon King's base before our final fight. Both dark-skinned beauties are hybrids of human psychic Priscilla Kitaen, Kherabim, and (formerly) Daemonite. The two are mirror images with Priss being a powerful psychic warrior who likes to fight at a distance, while Max a shapeshifting warrior who likes to fight up close. They are also mirrors in our relationships, with Max being aggressive and Priss being passive.
"So, why did you call this meeting, Ash?" asks Clark.
"Other than Martha's cooking." adds Lois.
"Rorschach asked me." I answer, still eating Martha's pie.
"Rorschach?" says Clark, "What does he want?"
"He has an important reveal." I reply, "Why don't you ask him yourself?"
A glowing portal opens as if perfectly timed and Rorschach emerges from the portal, right on cue. Superman's shoulders hitch, but when a pretty blond woman, Kara Zor-El emerges, a look of confusion comes across his face instead.
"Years ago, when Ash Grey had his infamous meeting with the League, he told you of many possibilities, both good and bad. One of those good possibilities came true a hundred eighty days ago. I have been taking care of her medical care until she was ready to reunite with you, Clark."
" . . . Kara?" the Man of Steel blinked after a few moments.
"Hi, Cousin." says Kara, walking up to her much taller cousin, "You have grown a lot. The last time I saw you, I was still changing your diapers."
"Kara!"
"You had the same vocabulary, too."
Now they are hugging and everyone is getting emotional. I take the opportunity to grab another slice of pie. Rorschach just rolls his eyes at me.
After a few minutes, they begin to discuss what happened to Kara. How her father realized his brother's calculations were correct and sent Kara to be on Earth with Kal. How the ship was damaged and left in a dangerous orbit around the sun. How Rorschach rescued her during his testing of new shielding and has been caring for her.
"I didn't bring her to the Fortress because the Kryptonian technology wouldn't have been able to save her. During the events of All-Star Superman, you spent several minutes inside the sun and absorbed so much solar radiation, your Kryptonian tech wasn't able to prevent you from eventually exploding. While it played out to Earth's advantage since you were able to jump-start the dying sun..." Rorschach trailed off, before realizing the point was slipping and that he was talking about their son dying right to the Kent's face, and got back on track. "The Outer Heaven facility was able to treat her until her over-saturated cells stabilized and we were able to train her so she wouldn't accidentally kill the squishy humans."
"Squishy?" says Jonny, cute little thing he is.
"Very Squishy" I reply, "Humans are very soft."
"Everything is soft compared to you, Ash." says Kara, "I still remember the bruises I got from our spar."
"Hey! I thought it was white foam! Blame Rorschach for not making metal look like metal."
At Superman's raised eyebrow, I explain. "Rorschach told me about Kara months ago. He had me spar against her, to see how she was progressing, since she didn't have to worry about hurting me."
"To be honest, I forgot that Ash's physical strength is beyond absurd," the man shrugged. "But anyway, now that Kara can sneeze on this planet without wiping out half the state of Texas, it's perfectly safe for her to be around you. At least now that she's been given an... informed opinion on how things work on Earth for SPBs."
"Informed like how...?" Clark asked, arms crossed.
"I think I'll leave that, to the other guy."
"What 'other guy'?" Lois inquired, the portal still in the room humming behind her to admit Alexander Armstrong, "Weird Science Rick" as seen on TV. He was clad in sneakers, jeans, and a button-up shirt and without the iconic wig and trench coat, you'd assume he were any ordinary guy.
I on the other hand, still couldn't figure out which one was 'the real McCoy' and which was the bioroid Life Model Decoy...
He should be thankful that the Superman of this Universe is Nerfed and can't examine people down to their genes and see Souls like the Prime version.
"This is Alexander Armstrong, the Cognito Inc actor that plays Weird Science Rick and acts as the proxy for Doctor Genus out in the field. He's been helping me with my recovery and eventually... we became more than friends," Kara admitted bashfully as she sidled up to him.
"U-Um, hello, Mr. and Mrs. Kent," Alexander greeted with a small blush on his face. "It's a pleasure to meet you without having to be in costume."
Clark is speechless at learning his cousin is dating, while the older Kents are looking at the man up and down. They may have only gained the pseudo-niece, but they have always been good protective parents. There is a reason why the House of El has always trusted the Kent family. No surprise, Lois is the first one to step forward.
"So, the whole 'Weird Scientist Rick' persona is just for when you're doing business and commercials?" Asks Lois. She had interviewed the Weird Scientist when Cognito City Polaris was created. While Mad Scientist Rick has been in many news reporters and many, many commercials for Cognito (literally any commercial that doesn't have his AI counterpart), this was her first time seeing what he was like 'behind the curtain'.
"More or less... I'm basically the 'George Foreman' for Cognito Inc., and also Dr. Genus and Rorschach's 'straight guy'."
"Straight guy?"
"I'm just gonna get going."
"No, wait, don't leave me alone with-ahhhh... nuts..." Alexander bit out as Rorschach left him(self?) high and dry.
Geez, this method acting of his was really methodical.
"So other than Rorschach... you have Dr. Genus' ear...?" Lois inquired, some of her inner reporter coming out.
"Well... more or less. When you get to be that level of smart, you stop thinking 'like other people' and lose that mundane perspective. That's part of why I'm Cognito's mascot. So, Dr. Genus has someone to tell him it is a very bad idea to use chem trails to chemically sterilize Flat Earthers so they stop polluting the planetary gene pool."
At this admission, Clark spat out his drink and punched a hole in the nearby wall, the man blushing as Kara chuckled nervously at the sight.
" . . . Pretend you didn't hear that."
"Son, I don't think I can ever un-hear it," John hummed with crossed arms.
What's shocking is I can't tell whether or not he's lying about the chem trail thing. I mean one time, Rick Sanchez created an invasive species to biologically neuter other species for when the need arose, so it's feasible someone with equivalent or near-equivalent thinking power could make a sterilizing agent directed towards a very niche demographic...
"Um... on an unrelated note," Clark said composing himself. "Is it alright for a doctor to be dating his patient?" he asked awkwardly. It's amusing to see Superman without his Boy Scout speeches. It perfectly fits his awkward clumsy Clark Kent persona.
"To be absolutely clear on this, all of the actual doctoring was handled by Genus and Rorschach. The smartest I am is being able to talk about their stuff without sounding like a complete moron," Alexander replied. "All I really did for Ms. El-"
"Kara," the blond insisted, linking arms with his. Aw, how sweet.
"All I really did for Kara... is give her an unbiased, objective look on the whole 'super hero' thing..."
"Kara, what did this man tell you?" Clark asked, his brows knitting with a bit of steel in his tone.
"The hard truth," Kara said standing protectively in front of her alien boyfriend. "How superheroes and civilians on this planet have a toxically co-dependent relationship with one another bordering on slavery. How the only way supers get to retire is in a pine box or by becoming a villain and contributing to a redundant causating loop."
"I know things between civilians and Heroes have always been tense, but don't you think 'slavery' is a bit of a strong word...?" Martha inquired.
"If Clark ever wanted to quit being Superman, cold turkey, would he be allowed to? Or would he be expected to do the whole 'it's a bird/it's a plane/it's Superman' bit for the rest of his natural life until he's all burned out?" Alexander asked showing some steel of his own. "And not only that, but if she decided to become a part of the 'family business' and wear the uniform, she'd inherit all of Superman's enemies, as well as many more sick, perverse degenerates who might have less than noble intentions toward her."
Geez, go for the throat why don't you? -thought I to myself as the ladies in the room went dead silent.
"And what makes you think I wouldn't be 'allowed' to quit if I really wanted to?" Clark asked, crossing his arms.
"Was Metro Man allowed to retire? More importantly, did he ever have a choice in the matter?"
"Who?"
"Oh! From Mega Mind? I love that movie!" M'gann grinned. "Wait... That really happened?!" she gawped incredulously.
"Somewhere out in the multiverse, yes," Alexander answered. "Honestly, I'm very glad he was mature-enough to read a self-help book and realize he had a problem. That's something you see very little of across the multiverse. When Dr. Genus had me watch 'Heroes in Crisis' where a mentally ill Kid Flash went completely postal on everyone at Sanctuary... it was a real eye-opener. For me and her," he said leaning toward Kara.
Ah, Heroes in Crisis. The "Crisis event" where Wally West killed almost everyone at Sanctuary, the safe haven for superheroes seeking mental help, and then proceeded to frame Booster Gold and/or Harley Quinn for the deed, with the added caveat of abducting a Time Doppelganger and killing him too so he would be taken off the list of suspects. That and exposing the whole thing to Lois since he didn't think Sanctuary should've been kept a secret.
You amp that kind of angst and existential crises up by many thousand, and it's no wonder Cognito Inc. was sparing no expense looking for experienced, qualified shrinks as well as funding psychology-related courses in many colleges globally.
"Sooo..." Connor said trying to ease away the tension from that most-recent logic bomb. "Do you have any special talents, or is acting your whole thing?" he asked before M'gann elbowed him lightly.
"Kara and I can juggle eggs. That was a big milestone she needed to achieve before Rorschach let her out of containment."
"Okay but why eggs?" Martha inquired.
"Because handling something as delicate as shelled poultry seemed like a good metric for handling things like handshakes or doorknobs without maiming someone or ruining a perfectly good doorknob," the actor, in more ways than one, answered.
"Even for a Kryptonian, how much damage could one of those cause with an egg?" Lois inquired.
"A storm that's Level 2 on the Fujisaki Scale can send an egg through a barn door. Two barn doors if one of 'em's open."
"Okay, I'll admit, that one was actually pretty funny," I chuckled while the farmers in the room sent him a look.
"What would a Level 3 on the Fujisaki Scale do?" Kori'andr inquired innocently.
"Level 3 will send an egg through a brick, wall. Tornado chasers call it 'Humpty's Revenge'," Alexander said with a completely straight face, causing Kara to giggle.
"He also knows how to make me laugh; something I've really needed after coming to grips with what happened to Krypton," the blond Kryptonian said with a somber smile.
That's sweet, but I can't help but notice he evaded any sort of admission to any "modding" this current body has undergone.
"So... what's the pay like?" Raven inquired.
"Three-point-three mil, monthly, including hazard pay," the actor answered, causing Clark to spit-take through another wall.
While Martha proceeds to interview Alexander Armstrong and Clark tried to argue some sort of case for Kara joining the 'family business', I enjoy another one of Martha's pies while nobody is looking.
. . .
Wait! Cognito pays Armstrong three point three million a Month!? Holy Shit! Isn't that embezzlement? Also, that is like one hundredth the monthly income of Bill Gates.
*DOOM*
Saturday, April 26, 2014 – The Big Reunion between Kara and Clark was a success! I didn't do much beyond eat Martha's wonderful cooking and make comments. Clark got a Big Surprise when Alexander Armstrong/Weird Science Rick was introduced as Kara's boyfriend. It was the Kent women that did all the talking after that point as Clark was left speechless.
There was one more surprise – Lois Kent (nee Lane) is Pregnant Again!
*DOOM*
END OF CHAPTER 17
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The Elemental Planes.
The Adventures of Pip the Liberty Transformer.
MORE CROSSOVERS
Chapter 18
[Cyber-Verse Chronicles]
September 17