AN:
Lo and behold, as of Volume 8 Episode 4: Fault in the RWBY Canon, someone finally brings up that Jaune cheated his way into Beacon and its negative consequences on the team. It only took… what, 6, 7 seasons for that to finally be relevant again? Sure, Jaune says he had friends who helped him see he was "bigger than his mistake", but really, if you're still keeping it a secret for seven seasons, are you really?
Nitpicking aside, let's get back to some fanmail.
Anime PJ: I wasn't expecting to read a full recreation of an Archer episode today, but I am very happy that it happened. This was highly entertaining.
Re: "Rules of En-Rampagement" has always been a favorite episode of mine. I just did a little tweaking to help it mix better with RWBY Canon/Giant-Slayer Fanon. And take place across an afternoon instead of a few days.
LoamyCoffee: *Blinks* You've been watching Archer, cause that's what the chapter felt like.
Yes, Xiaolin Showdown stuff and f*** up the mob.
Am I certain of the reason? No, no I'm not so I'll refrain from saying anything stupid.
Re: Been watching Archer for a while actually, and it's been both sad and entertaining in equal measure to see everyone "backslide" into old habits now that he isn't in a coma anymore. As for Xiaolin Showdown, showing that the Wu are legit opens up all sorts of story possibilities; not all that weird given the whole "Maidens" thing. As for the reason I made it: mainly to show the lasting impact of having the near-majority of a corrupt police structure devoured by Rat Grimm, instead of just hand-waving it as "they got new cops". Grimm are drawn to negativity, so of course the crooked ones would get skeletonized, but, crooked or not, they're still police, and there are bound to be consequences of a sudden… departure.
Blaze1992: whelp that was weird and random.
Re: Maybe so, but did you at least catch the subtext?
*NEW WORLD*
For someone as-energetic as Ruby, Wednesday rarely meant "Hump Bay" simply because she always had energy to burn.
Sure, running at full throttle all the time came with massive sugar-related cravings, but at the very least she burned enough of it away she didn't get fat. She always got the same-sized stockings ever since she adopted them to her wardrobe, so whenever they started getting a little tight was an indicator she should cut back on the sugar.
It was only fortunate she had the self-control to follow through on that health rule, otherwise she'd swiftly cease to be fit-enough for her chosen occupation.
Speaking of which!
"Guys! Guys! Guysguysguysguysguysguysguys!"
"What, Ruby?" Yang asked irately from her bunk where she was lounging.
Even a doting sister could get tired of her sibling's exuberance so-early in the morning.
"Ozpin has another job for us!" the red-head squealed excitedly.
"I hope it goes better than the last one," Weiss hummed aloud.
There was no way the rise in crime rate and the destruction of the VPDs headquarters due to Grimm-related skeletonization were unrelated.
"Don't worry, don't worry, we won't even be in town for this one," Ruby said looking up at her scroll.
"It's kind of telling I don't know whether that's better or worse," Blake muttered, her partner chuckling tensely.
"According to Ozpin, a friend of his, Dr. Ken Sugimori, a researcher of plasma-based weaponry living outside of Vale, hasn't made his weekly check-in. Our job is to enter his premises with the electronic key he's providing me and make sure he's okay. Message says the man's a bit of a recluse and an eccentric who's missed his weekly check-ins before, which is why he can't just have the local police send someone over."
"That and half of them got eaten," Blake shrugged only to get a look from Weiss.
"Blake, please be respectful of the dead," Weiss said sourly.
"What, you mean the dead who got eaten because they were all corrupt?" Blake snapped back heatedly.
"They weren't…all corrupt…" Weiss defended weakly.
"No, but they were still evil-enough the Grimm went after them instead of us."
"Girls, girls, you're both pretty," Yang cut in.
"Weiss! Blake!" Ruby cut in authoritatively. "Look, whether the cops were dirty or not, bringing it up won't chance the fact that they're gone, and ignoring it won't bring them back, so let's focus on the present, people!" she said slapping the back of her Scroll. "Do I make myself clear?"
" . . . Yes, Ruby," the two replied.
"Good," Ruby nodded, satisfied at her leadership skills.
"Well-said, Ruby," Jack said rubbing her atop the head, the red-head preening under his attention. "Fortunately, you won't have to worry about them back-sliding. The lady and I have a gig."
"What? Since when?" Ruby and Weiss asked together.
"Since just now," Jack said holding up his own Scroll, the emblem of the Survey Corps, a white and blue wing crossing over a silver shield, emblazoned in the upper-right corner of the digital stationery. "This is actionable intelligence I paid a good deal of money for, and if Weiss and I don't move on this today, it's worthless. And they don't give refunds."
"But what about Team RWBBY?" Ruby whined at the team-splitting. "You can't just take two letters away and still spell anything. Not without any vowels!"
"Sometimes 'Y' is a vowel."
"Yang, you're not helping!"
"Relax, relax, I know a guy who can fill the ranks," Jack waved off as he sent a message out on his Scroll. "I'm texting a rendezvous and a phone number if you can't find him at the site. It'll be a couple hours before you can all get together anyway, so you might as well go to your mission well-fed."
"He anyone we know?" Ruby asked.
"I should hope so, otherwise I wouldn't recommend him," Jack huffed as he got up from his bed. "Weiss, we've got a long day a head of us, so I want you well-fed, but not too well-fed or you'll puke. Meet me at Beacon Cliff in… two hours," he said heading for the door.
"What about you?" Weiss asked as she put her hair up.
"I'm off to get supplies for our outing, and if I get hungry on the way, I'll just grab some edible berries, kill a wild animal," Jack shrugged as he stepped out. "Oh! Blake!" he said poking his head in before he closed the door. "You'll have more use for this than I," he said tossing something her way. "Don't scratch the paint, alright?" he asked as she caught the keys.
"Right," Blake nodded as she held the keys to Jack's hovercar.
"Sweet!" Yang grinned. "Looks like we're travelling in style~"
"Hmmm… I'm not sure I like Jack running off like this. Aren't we a team?"
"Hey, come on, Ruby. Jack's a big boy, he can handle himself," Yang said reassuringly. "And in the event Weiss can't carry her own weight, at least we know he can."
"Hey!"
"And besides, if the five of us went off to check on some recluse, wouldn't that just be overkill?" Yang went on to ask. "Now come on, let's get us some grub before heading out!"
"Alright, fine," she sighed. "Team Ruby! Get dressed and roll out!"
"Oh, and one more thing."
"What?"
"Shotgun."
"Fuck!"
*NEW WORLD*
Following their uneventful breakfast where the bulk of the original team parted ways from Weiss…
"I still don't know how you found the time to learn to drive this thing," Yang hummed as she and Ruby sat in the "Jackwagon", Blake at the helm smoothly driving them towards Vale for their rendezvous.
"It isn't that hard," she shrugged. "I've driven similar class of vehicle before, albeit with wheels attached," he hummed, briefly reminiscing about her time in the White Fang where she did grunt work before Adam took her under his wing. "Besides, with all the course-correction software on this thing, I couldn't hit anything unless I really wanted to. And wait, why is this so amazing? Don't you already have a driver's license?"
"I'm only rated for motorcycles. Cars are a whole other weight class."
"Well, I'm sure if you ask him, Jack will set some time aside and teach you."
" . . . You think he'd be up for 'rocking the car'~?"
"Lalalalalalala! I'm not listeniiing!" Ruby cried with her hands on her ears.
"But, in all seriousness," Yang went on to say with a totally straight face. "Me and cars… We just don't mix."
"Why? What happened?"
"Uhhhh…"
*PAST*
"Alright now, Yang, you're going to want to back up slowly. Slowly… Slooowly…"
*Whump*
"Oh my god! You backed over Uncle Qrow!"
"Oh your god! You backed over my hip flask!"
*Crash!*
"Oh my god! My car!"
*PRESENT*
"Let's just say there's a reason I only drive motorcycles, and leave it at that," Yang summarized, unwilling to go into detail.
*NEW WORLD*
Driving around Vale's southern wall and pulling up to the gate on the western side, their arrival piqued the attention of some of the wall patrol since people tended to park their vehicles inside the wall. By the same measure however, they made no noted effort to usher them in. Yang was about to honk the horn to get the attention of whoever they were meeting, but Blake slapped her hand away, leaving Ruby to look at the message Jack had sent her.
"You know… There's something oddly familiar about this Scroll number…" Ruby hummed eyeing it, her finger moving toward it.
"Ruby?!"
"Eyaauuugh!" Ruby yelped at the sudden call from outside, the girl flailing for her Scroll and looking out the window before gawping. "Arthur!?"
"H-Hi, Ruby!" Arthur replied, catching his breath from what must've been a run, a half-eaten breakfast burrito in his hand. "Can I come in?"
"Of course, of course!" Ruby said undoing the lock, the Faunus sliding in beside her, his twin swords and a small gun case in tow. "Wait, you're 'the guy'?"
"Y-Yeah… Jack said he had a friend who needed some manpower for a mission. He never said it was you, only that they were borrowing his car."
"Shouldn't you be in school?" Yang asked.
"Your dad signed me off for some work-study," Arthur answered, holding up a note. "Wait, shouldn't you be in school?"
"It's our grace period to do missions," the blond answered.
"What's in the case?" Blake asked curiously.
"A gift," the Faunus returned. "You girls packing?"
"Aren't I always?" Yang asked cocking her Ember Celica.
"Please don't discharge weapons in the car," Blake chided as she pulled away from the wall and toward the road. "Sooo… What kind of combat training do you have?"
"Same kind of Ruby, though I'm nowhere near as-good as her," Arthur answered, rubbing the back of his head. "Ngh!"
"Is something wrong?" Yang asked as he clutched his chest.
"Nothing… Nothing… Just a pulled muscle," Arthur replied through his pained look. "You don't have to worry about me, I'm combat ready!"
"Glad to hear it!" Yang grinned. "Wait, how'd you get back to Vale so fast?"
"I hitched a ride on a trading ship, ran the rest of the way, grabbed a breakfast burrito," Arthur said finishing his meal. "You know, the usual."
"I seeee…" Yang hummed. "You know, you look kinda tired after your run. You should lie down."
"Huh? But I don't feel-"
"You. Should lie. Down," Yang said more forcefully, Arthur gulping audibly before turning to Ruby, a pointed look on her face.
It took Team RWBY's leader a few seconds to realize what Yang was telling her with her eyes, but when she did, she nodded in recognition before flattening the creases on her skirt, patting her thigh with an inviting smile sent Arthur's way.
With a blush on his face, after a moment's hesitation Arthur acquiesced, laying his head upon the girl's lap, the young Rose smiling beautifully as she idly stroked his hair. Arthur in turn gained a contented look on his face, a relieved sigh passing his lips as he made himself comfortable.
"Don't worry, Arthur. It's an easy mission today. Once we're done, we'll hang out, just the two of us," she said sweetly.
" . . . I'd like that," Arthur nodded. "I'd like that a lot."
"So cuuuuute~" Yang cooed at their tender moment.
*NEW WORLD*
Leaving Vale proper, though on more of a ground-based route than Blake had taken with Jack to St. Dolittle's, the land the road rested upon was salted so as to force back the undergrowth, leaving a decently-sized tract of clear road between Vale and a small hamlet south of the Kingdom's capital by the shoreline. The town had decently-sized walls with enough auto-turrets to deter nearby Grimm, and because of this the townsfolk were very accommodating in giving them directions. To Team RABY's confusion however, the people were more wary of Dr. Sugimori than the gaggle of outsiders from the "big city" in the flying car or the interspecies couple in the back.
And I just realized how-terrible that acronym sounds, and won't be using it again.
"You think that's a bad sign?" Blake asked.
"I don't see how. I mean, all we're doing is checking in on the guy," Yang shrugged.
"Oh good… For a second there I thought it was the acronym that set them off," Ruby sighed in relief.
"I have a batch of Vulcanized Rubber bullets in case things get hairy," Arthur said pulling out a red magazine of rounds with a pink bullet-shaped logo surrounded by "bouncy" lines. "They're more for close-range application, though."
"Best. Boyfriend. Ever!" Ruby squealed as she wrapped her arms around his neck and planted a big wet one on him, the gift bullets completely forgotten as the two lovebirds fell out of Blake's rearview, the Rabbit Faunus' face reddening as he was showered with kisses.
"Save the canoodling for later. We're here," Yang said seriously as they pulled up to a large estate surrounded by metal-reinforced walls topped with spikes, the occasional spark of electricity frying lesser Grimm. On-approach they came upon a large cast iron gate flanked by an intercom that gave view to the mansion inside; the chateau was old, its tiled roof yellowed from both color and weathering with thick moss and vines creeping up the walls, the windows opaque and impossible to see within. The only immaculate part of it were the expensive burgundy-colored doors and brass door knobs, though strangely-enough the lawn was expertly-trimmed as though they'd arrived moments after the groundskeeper finished. Out in front of the house surrounded by a horseshoe driveway was an old water fountain worn with age but still spewing water.
"Excuse me, Dr. Sugimori?" Blake asked out the window, finger pressed to the intercom. "This is Team Ruby from Beacon. Headmaster Ozpin asked us to check in on you."
*Kshhhhhhhh*
"Well that isn't unsettling in the slightest," Yang said to the static they got back.
"Shush!" Blake chided. "Hello? Is anyone home?"
"Ozpin said he might be like this. Here, use my Scroll," she said passing it forward to Blake, the girl placing it on the scanner. A trio of red lights above the video screen changing to green one by one, when the screen flickered ELECTRONIC KEY: CONFIRMED, the gates slid out sideways with loud squeaks and squeals.
"Well. Either the doc just got finished with the lawn, or he's got a really good gardener," Yang said as she eyed the immaculately-trimmed lawn on either side of the driveway. The ground looked so flat you could put a level on it.
"L-Let's just get this done and g-go home. This place is giving me the Willies," Arthur said experiencing a sudden, overwhelming tingle as they pulled to a stop in front of the fountain.
"Sooooo… Is that one of those Faunus things or what?"
"YAAANG!" Ruby shrieked.
"No, no, it's a fair assumption given the situation," Arthur returned. "I'm sure a Human would have their neck-hairs standing on end too."
"Yeah… I… I feel it too…" Blake said awkwardly pulling into park, the landing struts taking the vehicle's weight. "Hey guys…?"
"Yeah, Blake?" Yang asked getting out.
"Was that lawnmower always there?" Blake asked pointing to a red push mower a couple of meters away.
"Maybe we missed it?"
"How could we possibly miss it! The lawn was perfectly flat and vacant when we passed it!" the closet Faunus hissed indignantly. "And the thing is bright orange!"
"To be fair, you can overlook stuff like that if you aren't looking for it," Arthur hummed as he held his gun case to his chest. "Remember that video with the dancing bear?"
"Nooo…" Blake returned.
"Look, Blake, a lawnmower on the lawn, isn't all that weird," Yang waved off. "Let's just get up to the doc, get that progress report, and maybe hit up a nice café on the way home."
*Vrrr*
"Did you hear that?"
"Blake, you're being paranoid," Yang waved off.
*Vrrrrr*
"There it is again!"
"Blake, seriously, I didn't know you were such a scaredy-cat~"
"Yaaaaang…!"
"What is it, Ruby?"
"I think that lawnmower just moved," she squeaked, everyone turning to see that the lawn mower was not only closer than it was before, but that it had also changed direction.
"Maybe it rolled downhill?"
"What 'downhill'? The lawn is completely flat!"
"Guys, seriously, it's just an old house in the middle of nowhere. That doesn't automatically make it haunted. And I'm going to prove it to you."
"Yang! Stop! Don't tempt fate!" Ruby cried imploringly.
"Don't get your stockings in a twist, I'm just proving a point." *Clunk* "See? It's not haunted," she said giving it a light tap with her foot. "Not. Haunted. At all," she said rearing it up on its hind wheels before setting it down. "Now can we stop fooling around and check in on this guy or-"
*Clunk*
Looking over her shoulder, Yang saw that the lawnmower had bumped into the back of her foot, its previous space vacated.
" . . . I'd like to retract my previous statement?"
*VrrrrROOMROOMROOOOM!* the lawnmower growled suddenly roaring to life, the tiny headlights on the front angling up at Yang.
"Not the hair! Notthehairnotthehairnotthehair!" Yang cried as she ran for her life, the lawnmower in hot pursuit.
"See! I told you!"
"Blake! Now is really not the time!" Yang cried as she ran away, Ruby scooping Arthur up in her arms and hopping onto the lip of the fountain.
"Yang! It's possessed by a Geist or something! Just shoot it!" Arthur advised.
" . . . Oh right," Yang blinked, whirling on her heel and cocking her Ember Celica back. "SHAZAM!"
*BANG!*
*BOOM!*
"'Shazam'? Really?" Ruby asked incredulously.
"Whoo! Bullseye!" Yang whooped as the center of the offending lawnmower smoldered, smoke and sparks guttering out of the freshly-installed air intake.
"Hey Yang… Where's the Geist?"
"Hm?"
"Where's the Geist?" Arthur repeated pointing to the exploded mower.
"Yeah, wouldn't a Geist have jumped ship by now?" Ruby questioned.
*GRnnnnnnnn*
All eyes snapping back to the lawnmower, the blown-out components began bending themselves back into place before their very eyes, exploded plastic smoothing back together, all evidence of the shotgun blast starting to vanish.
"Um… Can Geist do that?" Yang asked, the tiny headlights starting to flicker.
"No. No they cannot."
"Oh," Yang nodded, staring at the self-healing lawn mower for a few seconds before crying- "CHEESE IT!" -and running around back.
"Yang! Don't go off alone! Let me call backup!" Ruby cried holding up her Scroll. "Huh…?"
"What's wrong?" Arthur asked leaning over. " . . . That doesn't look like normal static," he said as a pair of eyes smiled up at him, the Scroll letting out a warbling chuckle before it began to wheeze acrid smoke.
"OH NO! MY CAT VIDEOS!" Ruby wailed as the thing died in her hands.
*NEW WORLD*
"Running, running, running, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap!" Yang cried as the possessed lawn mower chased after her, the appliance weaving around the shots she fired blindly behind her.
With shooting the thing officially off the docket, Yang eyed the rear of the mansion to see what she had to work with. There was another fountain, this one featuring a buff statue worn by the elements, a dilapidated-looking green house that'd seen better days, a large hangar at the rear of the property, and a garage attached to the chateau.
"When it doubt, pick C!" Yang said as she changed course and ran for the hangar door. Wrenching it open, the blond hastily leapt into the dark, locking it behind her. The possessed lawn mower ramming the door a couple of times before stopping, Yang let out a relieved sigh as the appliance seemed to stop. Catching her breath, the blond held up her Scroll and turned on the flashlight. "Ooh. Neat," she hummed as her spotlight fell upon a large D-77-TC "Pelican" airship, a snarling dragon mouth painted around the chin gun so it protruded like a tongue. "Who knew the doc was such a badass."
The next moment a pair of spotlight came on, engines spooling up and the chin gun articulating, a laser sight honing in on her forehead.
" . . . Aw crap."
*NEW WORLD*
"EYAAAAUUUGH!" Yang's voice echoed from the rear of the property.
"Welp. Guess I'm an only child."
"Ruby that is not funny. And can you please put me down?"
"Sorry."
"Guys, get in! We need to grab Dr. Sugimori and get the fuck out of here!" Blake said by the front door.
"Right!" Ruby nodded, scooping her boyfriend up once more and whirling into the house in a comet of rose petals, Blake getting caught up in it before the three of them dismounted on the landing, Blake and Arthur panting against the banisters of the central staircase while Ruby struck an adorkable pose.
"I… don't want to do that… ever, again," Blake gasped, her hair all frizzy and bow crooked.
"Ditto," Arthur said straightening his clothes.
"Hey, if Yang were here she'd probably say I took you for a 'wild ride'," Ruby pouted.
"CHAIN GUN!"
"Yeah, well she isn't, and probably won't be for much longer," Blake stated laconiccally, "so let's fan out, grab the doctor, and-"
"Nuh-uh! No splitting up! Don't you watch horror movies!?" Arthur asked as he had another sudden, overwhelming tingle.
" . . . Fair point," Ruby conceded in light of haunted lawn appliances that would not die. "Alright, gang! Let's search the house and not fan out!"
*NEW WORLD*
"WHY DO AIRSHIPS HATE ME?" Yang asked despondently as a haunted lawn mower nipped at her heels, a haunted Pelican firing bullets at her from above.
Leaping into the fountain which she now knew was empty and took cover behind the statue, to her confusion and relief the gunfire stopped, the lawnmower motor quieting. Peeking up over the statue's pedestal, for some reason the possessed lawnmower and Pelican both had halted their pursuit, simply eyeing her as she hid behind the statue.
"Not that I'm not happy, but whyyyyyy?" she asked, the groaning of stone overhead causing her to incline her eyes upward, glowing cracks manifesting around the statue's joints before its head shakily angled down toward her. Eyes filled with copper lightning boring into her, the hulking figure drew its fist back before-
*NEW WORLD*
*CRASH!*
"What was that?" Blake asked as a coating of dust in the living room was shaken loose.
"Maybe Yang ran into a possessed sledgehammer or something…" Ruby hummed as she looked around the house, "Rubberized" bullets loaded and ready.
*Clunk*
"Huh?" Ruby blinked as Arthur dropped his gun case to the ground and opened it up, the red-head's eyes twinkling as she beheld the party favor her boyfriend pulled out. "Oooooooh!"
The barrel and cylinder of the pistol was octagonal in shape and silver, the rest of the body a subdued gold color with lots of bevels. The handle was a rounded ergonomic wooden grip with a glossy polish, a curved handguard like Damascus steel set before the trigger. Strapped to the left side of the barrel was a small bandoleer holding nine bullets, and on the top was a long scope clad in Damascus with gold accents. The Flavor Text card included with it read Amazing Grace, though appeared as more of a "Thank You" note from the Jakobs Corporation/family rather than something that came standard with an Exotic weapons' purchase.
"Where did you get thaaat…?" Ruby awed as she beheld its beveled sides and its curved stock with twinkling eyes.
"I did a job for Jakobs a while back… Don't worry about it," Arthur said checking his ammo before looking around the den. "I'm seeing a lot of books and an old TV. Nothing possessed. Blake?"
"The doctor isn't here, let's check the next room."
*Hee*Hee*HEEEE!* the television suddenly cackled, the same face from Ruby's Scroll appearing.
"Cheese it!" Ruby said grabbing her teammates by the scruffs of their necks and running into the next room, a large kitchen with semi-modern appliances. "Dr. Sugimori! Are you in here?" she asked aloud.
The next moment an oscillating fan, freezer, and toaster oven were enveloped in a yellow, pale blue, and red aura respectively, their chasses shifting to orange and warping as eyes and a mouth appeared, the scent of ozone filling the room.
"Is there anything in this house that isn't haunted!?" Blake cried as the fan suddenly rounded on her, a gale-force wind suddenly blasting her back against a wall.
"AAUUUGH! My cloak is not fireproof!" Ruby cried as she ran from the possessed toaster oven, its door open and spewing fire.
"Do your missions always go pear-shaped?!" Arthur asked as the fridge doors opened, a micro-blizzard blasting out and pushing him against a counter.
"If we live through this mission, I'll tell you!" Blake said as she warped in a zig-zag with her [Shadow] clones, grabbing the possessed fan and wielding it against the toaster oven as Ruby passed by her, the cooking appliance whirling madly through the air as it was caught between a typhoon and a blizzard.
"Sorry Dr. Sugimori!" Arthur said whipping out his Amazing Grace and shooting the possessed appliances in their vital components, the electronic devices shuddering before settling harshly against the floor. "Next room!"
*NEW WORLD*
"WHY DO CARS HATE ME?" Yang cried as she leapt through a semi-opened window into a laundry room, Ruby, Blake, and Arthur coming in a moment after her. "What happened to you three?" she asked pointing to their singe marks, swept back hair, and ice crystals respectively as a possessed station wagon with wood siding and a silver aura drove by the window.
"Oh, you know… Just taking stock of what-is and what-isn't possessed in this house…" Blake said dryly, the washer rattling ominously. "Oh you've got to be kidding me," she said as the washer came to life with a blue aura, its water hose disconnecting itself from the wall before levelling at them, its drum rumbling with sloshing water.
"Cheese it! Again!" Ruby said rallying her team into action back toward the foyer, Arthur kicking the door shut before they could get blasted with water.
"So…" Yang panted catching her breath. "Where to now?"
The sound of radio static filling the air, an old-timey radio with rabbit ear antennae surrounded by a pink aura interposed itself between them and the front door, countless old book and knick-knacks hovering around it on tiny psychic threads. Before they could level their weapons at it they were suddenly assaulted by a deluge of Dr. Sugimori's old crap, their Auras taking a beating as old science awards made of crystal and metal were thrown into the mix.
"No choice! We gotta split up!" Yang said scooping Ruby into her arms and running up the stairs, shielding her sibling from the brunt of the assault.
"Don't worry! I'll keep your boy-toy safe!" Blake called out over her shoulder as she spirited Arthur down a flight of stairs, locking the door behind her.
*NEW WORLD*
"NOT ME! TAKE HER INSTEAAAAAAAD!"
"Yang you BITCH!" Ruby cried as her sister tossed her toward the possessed vacuum cleaner chasing them, the red-head scrambling to her feet and planting a foot against the vacuum cleaner's "face" as it sucked in the end of her cloak. "Yang! Save me!"
"It's a noble sacrifice you're making here! I'll always remember you, bye!"
"Start by remembering me right now!" Ruby shrieked as she drew her Crescent Rose and fired a rubberized round at the vacuum cleaner's shake-out bag from point blank, the thing sputtering and regurgitating the girl's hooded cloak. "How could you leave me?!" she cried catching up to her sister.
Oh the irony…
"I knew you'd get out on your own."
"I hate you!"
"If we make it out of this in one piece you can hate me all you want!" Yang said as they ducked into a personal gym, only to be besieged by a sparring dummy come-to-life. "Is there anything in this house that isn't haunted?!" she cried as the sisters vacated aforementioned gym and retreated further down the hall, ducking into a bathroom and barricading the door. "You uh…" she paused as the sparring dummy and vacuum cleaner pounded against the door, warily eyeing the porcelain throne. "You don't think the toilet's haunted too, do you?" she asked chucking a bar of soap at it.
*Fluuuuuush*
"AAUUUGH!" Yang shrieked as she reared back her Ember Celica.
"YANGWAITNOOO!" Ruby cried flailing her arms wildly.
*BANG!*
*SPROOSH!*
" . . . I don't think that toilet was possessed," Ruby said as they were sprayed with water from the burst pipe.
"Well excuse me if the last half-hour has made me a little paranoid!" the blond grumbled to herself as she drew the bathroom curtains shut, a possessed Pelican gunship sailing by a moment later.
*Thunk!*
*Thunk!*
*Thunk!*
*Thunk!*
" . . . "
" . . . "
" . . . "
"You think they gave up?"
*CRASH!* went the door as the sparring dummy burst its head through the weakest part of the wood.
"Nope," Ruby said popping the 'P'.
*NEW WORLD*
Elsewhile…
"THIS WAS A REALLY DUMB IDEAAA!" Arthur cried as he and Blake tumbled down the stairs end over end, hitting the landing in a tangle of limbs and clothes. "Blake."
"What?"
"Please get your crotch out of my face."
"Uwagh!" the closet Faunus yelped as she leapt to her feet, straightening her bow while Arthur hauled himself to his feet with his banister. "Ooohhh… Fuck," he groaned as he looked around.
"This… is so not good…" Blake winced as they found themselves in a large laboratory, filled with equipment even Arthur couldn't readily identify, the walls and workable surfaces covered in notes denoting circuit boards, mathematical formulae, and countless spectrum analyses.
And that was just what he could understand. The rest of it was either in a foreign language, shorthand, or both!
" . . . "
" . . . "
" . . . "
" . . . Okay maybe this isn't 'not good'," Blake conceded as they went a full minute without something coming to life and attacking them. "While we're down here, let's try to figure out what Dr. Sugimori was getting up to. Maybe there's a weakness on these… things," she said leafing through some of the papers. "They're definitely not Geist, Geist don't have the ability to repair whatever they're possessing, usually they just jump ship into something new or replace damaged pieces with nearby detritus."
Arthur of course wanted to speak up against going through another man's intellectual property, but ceded to Blake's authority since she was the senior between the two of them. Keeping his ears on a swivel, he went to the nearest computer terminal and was surprised to find that the password protection was incredibly weak.
i.e. He found the password written on a sticky note adhered to the underside of an overturned stapler immediately adjacent the mousepad.
"Happy Birthday…?" Arthur hummed as his eyes fell upon an icon in the upper-left. "Isn't Dr. Sugimori supposed to be a bachelor?" he asked double-clicking it, Blake coming up behind him with a sheaf of unintelligible garble in her hands.
The video buffering, after a moment they found a window to the past before them, taken from a high angle in a corner of the room, and a look over their shoulders confirmed the camera-in-question was still there.
Dr. Sugimori in the video was a middle-aged Mistrali man of the Japanese persuasion, garbed in the stereotypical fashion of a scientist leading his field. Situated in the center of the lab was a glass bowl encompassed by a pink-tinted forcefield, and held within was a black and purple gaseous ball, a pair of bright fire-like eyes looking angrily around the room; in summary, a sub-species of Geist known as a "Ghastly", a variant of the Possession-Type Grimm whose body was even less corporeal.
"Where's the audio?" Blake asked as Dr. Sugimori calibrated a then-futuristic-looking rifle hooked up to a generator.
"I think this camera feed only had visual. Audio probably came from that pocket recorder," Arthur said indicating to the slip of plastic in the man's hand.
The scientist nearing the end of his calibrations, suddenly there was a short between his rifle and the generator, the lights in the room flickering before the shield bubble died, and the Ghastly made a break for freedom. However, instead of passing through a crack in the wall, the Ghastly possessed a nearby security mech, purple mist seeping out of its pores as it smashed the nearby fuse box open in a fit of pique before moving threateningly toward Dr. Sugimori.
The scientist frantically calibrating his rifle and giving the generator a kick, before the mech could level its weapon at him, the scientist fired a high-intensity beam of plasma that almost blinded the camera. The beam hitting the mech dead center, the metal beginning to melt away, the Ghastly was suddenly expunged from the security mech, the beam of plasma carrying the Grimm into the exposed fuse box and the Gold Dust crystals held within.
A brilliant explosion of light killing the lighting in the lab, after a few moments the backup lighting came on, the lab bathed in red lighting. Dr. Sugimori recovering, after a couple seconds the fuse box sparked before a free-floating ball of orange plasma surrounded by an electric-blue aura began to waft across the lab and toward him. The ball stopping in front of the perplexed scientist, to his, Arthur, and Blake's astonishment, the ball of plasma sprouted a tony spherical body and head spike, a toothy smile, and blue eyes with dividing lines, its electric-blue aura condensing before it manifested into a pair of lightning bolt-shaped appendages at its sides.
"Did… Did he just manufacture a ghost…?" Blake asked incredulously.
Before Arthur could comment on the matter any further, a *tak-tak*tak-tak*tak-tak*tak-tak* from the corner drew their attention to a dark corner where eight red eyes in clusters of three, two, and three from left to right alighted upon them, a mechanical spider-shaped drone scuttling out toward them. At the same moment, a metallic waste disposal bin with a biohazard symbol on the front rumbled to life, the noxious scent of chemicals and the rumbling of detritus filling the air as the two possessed electronics made their way toward them.
"I think maybe we should run…" Arthur said as the possessed appliances just stood there.
Menacingly!
*NEW WORLD*
At around roughly the same time, the pair of sisters and the pair of Faunus vacated their then-current hiding places. Giving the old chateau a good lap or twelve and criss-crossing a hallway with many doors accompanied the Benny Hill theme playing on an old phonograph, the only implement in the house that didn't seem to be possessed, the cluster of teenagers eventually found themselves completely surrounded, fending off the spectral assailants as best they could.
Normally that wouldn't have been much of a problem. With all of the ghost-possessed electronics in one place, they couldn't possibly miss anything.
However, the concept of "normal" went straight out the window when a possessed Roomba of all things skittered across the floor and stole all their spare ammo right off their persons with phantom limbs like Eldritch tentacles.
So in summary… they were out-manned, out-gunned, fresh out of ammo, and completely surrounded.
"It's no good! We're surrounded!" Yang said as she ran out of ammo.
"Why did you even take this mission?" Blake asked tiredly, kicking the sparring dummy in the head.
"I thought it'd look good on our resumes!" Ruby cried.
"Resumes for who? Ghostcrackers?!" Yang asked irately.
"Yang, enough!" Arthur shouted reloading his pistol with deft hands. "There's only one place left we haven't checked; the master study."
"Yeah well…" Yang hummed. "There's a whole lot of possessed crap between us and there…"
"Don't worry, I've got a plan for that," Arthur said jabbing a finger at Blake's armband, and then to Yang making a tying motion. "Hey Yang… WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?" he said pointing in the opposite direction from the master study.
"Oh crap, not another one!" Yang said as Blake discretely tied her ribbon around the blond's waist, the Faunus separating a single strand of hair from her billowing mane before bringing his incisors down atop it.
*FWOOOM!*
"HRAAAAAAUGH!" the blond roared furiously as her hair came alight.
The blond storming down one end of the hallway before the three cool-headed teens grabbed the ribbon and rebounded her in the opposite direction, the blond bulldozed her way into the east wing with the force of a runaway freight train. Her teammates trailing behind and bounding over the temporarily-ruined appliances, they were quick to duck into the only room they hadn't explored in their flight, locking the door and barricading it behind them with whatever wasn't nailed down.
*Sniff*Sniff* "UGH! Smells like something died in here!"
"Uh… Yang?" Ruby said tugging her sleeve.
"What?" the blond asked, following her sister's finger before gulping. "Oh…" she said staring at the dead body slumped face-down over the desk before them. "…That."
"Well, I uh… guess we know why Ozpin's friend didn't check in this week…" Blake said awkwardly as she pressed an ear to the door. For the moment they were safe.
"How do you think he died?" Yang asked. "Foul play?"
"I'm no expert on the subject… but I'd guess he fell asleep in his study… never woke up again," Arthur surmised, given the man looked noticeably older than in his video file. Waving his hand over the holo-emitter embedded in the desk and summoning a holo-terminal, he whirled it around to face him so as to not disturb the body. Donning a pair of white gloves, so as not to leave his fingerprints around the dead guy, he then turned to the Log-In screen. Taking a leap of faith and typing in the same password from before, amazingly, it worked. "Huh. Looks like this is connected to the terminal in the basement."
"Yeah, that's real great and all, but what does that do for us?" Yang asked, not seeing any windows they could escape through.
"Wait, that's right, we didn't get the chance to tell you, but Arthur and I saw an old recording of how Dr. Sugimori made these things in his basement," Blake spoke up.
*THUNK*
"You can show us later! Find a way to stop these things now!" Yang insisted grabbing more furniture as their last safe haven was besieged.
"Arthur, you're the smartest guy I know. If anyone can do it, you can," Ruby reassured him. *Chu* "For luck," she said planting one on his cheek.
"R-Right," Arthur nodded, his fingers dancing atop the holographic keyboard as he perused every file the doctor had shortcut on his desktop while Ruby and her teammates reinforced the door's barricade.
Passing over everything unrelated to quasi-sentient balls of living plasma, easier said than done when half of the man's research blurred into itself, both ironically and unironically, what he was looking for was in the last place he looked.
No, I mean literally the last place he looked in the bottom right of the desktop next to the Recycle Bin.
"Girls! I think I have an idea!" Arthur said as a lightbulb went off above his head.
Metaphorically, not literally.
*THUNK*
"Well don't just sit there looking cute! Do something!" Ruby shouted as the barricade bucked against them.
"I'm on it…!" Arthur shot back, slicing his way into the house's systems.
*THUNK*
"Whatever you're about to do, do it fast!" Yang shouted as the doorframe splintered.
"Working on it!"
*THUNK*
"Arthur!" Blake cried.
"Just give me a second to work!"
*CRASH!*
"EEEEK!" Ruby shrieked as the door exploded inward, as did their barricade.
"I need five more seconds!"
"We don't have five more seconds!" Yang said as she, Blake, and Ruby entered into a desperate melee.
"Just…! give…! me…!" Arthur said with fingers furiously dancing before he got the last of his ducks in a row. "There! I've got it! ENTEEER!" he shouted pressing the final key moments before the three of them slammed into his back, pressed into him by the tidal wave of possessed appliances set upon them.
"Rotom…" the speakers across the chateau both inside and out suddenly croaked out in the kind elderly voice of the deceased scientist, the now-named "Rotom" coming to a grinding halt as their eyes darted between the intruders, the dead body on the desk, and to the nearest speakers. "My precious creations… If you are hearing this recording in accordance with my Will, then I am… no longer with you."
The spectral appliances' attention fixated on something other than them, Team RABY slumped to the floor, the last of their adrenaline guttering out.
"Though you were born from the union of plasma, science, and the essence of a Creature of Grimm, in the time I have raised you, and watched you, something I know for certain is you do in fact, possess souls of your own. You have hearts the same as any creature of flesh, and I am sorry for the pain my departure has caused you. But please, do not let those hearts be broken, do not let them be clouded by sorrow, or poisoned by hate. Your spirits are as bright as bolts of lightning, so I urge you, let the world see that strength and beauty, in all its splendor. Amongst all I have accomplished in my life, you, are my greatest creations."
By this point Team RABY was tearing up, Blake patting Yang's back consolingly as her eyes stung with tears, while Ruby cried into Arthur's shirt. Though Dr. Sugimori was saying goodbye to balls of living energy with a penchant for possessing electronics, these were still the words of a man saying goodbye to his children.
"I… I won't say 'goodbye'… If I don't say 'goodbye', then it means I'm not really gone… It just means I'm not here right now… In lieu of that, I'll just say… I love you… And if you can find even a fraction of the happiness you have brought me in my waning years… I can rest easy."
A moment later and the message cut out, the media player asking if the message needed to be played again. However, the HITs' attention wasn't focused on the screen, but instead the possessing spirits whose wind had been taken from their sails. Before their eyes, the sharp corners of the various appliances softened, their seams vanishing, and their colors shifted to a bright orange. Blue eyes with dividing lines and mouths with various expressions appeared where the "face" would be, colorful auras of varying colors manifesting phantasmal limbs, with head-spikes like lightning rods manifesting where-applicable. Where before the possessed electronics looked terrifying, now, with those anthropomorphizing features, they actually looked kind of cute, no longer viewing the gathered teens as intruders in their home.
"I'm… I'm sorry for your loss," Arthur said after several minutes of silence, the screen before him flickering before the living mass of plasma from the original video leapt out and appeared before him, its eyes downcast as it let out a whimpering warble. The Faunus holding out his hands, the Rotom alighted upon his palms and looked up at him like a lost child unsure of what to do.
The tension broken, Ruby, Blake, and Yang walked over to the possessed appliances formerly rallied against them, and offered their condolences in turn.
The three of them in their wildest dreams would never have suspected they'd be consoling a toaster oven, oscillating fan, and lawn mower respectively. Amongst other things.
Some stayed, eyeing the flesh-and-bloods with curiosity now that they were no longer hostile, but others slinked off into all corners of the house, now bereft of purpose.
*NEW WORLD*
A while later…
"I left as soon as I got your report," Ozpin said in a kind voice as he pulled up the horseshoe drive astride his personal state car, a dark green Hudson Hornet with silver finish. "I had no idea the residents would react so… poorly to your intrusion," he said pulling alongside the Appleseed, the possessed Station Wagon parked in front and eyeing the strangely-shaped car. "Ken had assured me they were quite docile. They never gave me any trouble when I was here."
"Yes, well…" Blake said as she found herself petting a radio, ironically, like a housecat. "Their father left them so suddenly, I guess it's understandable."
"I suppose it's fortunate I sent you. That means we can keep this contained."
"Contained?" Ruby asked, the possessed vacuum rubbing against her leg.
"As-revolutionary as Dr. Sugimori's work was, there are those out there who would… abuse what he has created," Ozpin said slowly.
"Yeah no kidding…" Yang said as she eyed the Pelican as it sat nearby on the grass, like the rest of the possessed electronics it had become stylized with a coating of orange plasma and a color-coded aura of its own; a tiny pair of T-Rex arms and dragon wings atop its back. "You give everyday objects a life of their own, and legit superpowers… That'd be a tempting target for anyone."
"So what happens now?" Ruby asked.
"Dr. Sugimori and I have known one another a long time. We were both bachelors, and we understood the loneliness that came with our lines of work," Ozpin answered. "He left me everything in his will, should he die before me. I hadn't thought about that for a long time, I honestly thought he would outlive me."
"So then you'll look after these guys?" Arthur asked, still cradling whom he assumed to be the original Rotom in his arms.
"I don't think they would gain anything from that, living up in my tower," Ozpin said with a shake of his head. "Ken wanted them to see the world, show everyone what they could do, what they could be, and become, but we can't do that cold-turkey," he said regarding Ken's final message transmitted to his Scroll. "No, whoever takes custody of those that choose to leave…" he said turning his eye to those he felt were more-likely to stay, since each had a personality all their own. "They'll have to be someone new. New, but open-minded enough to take them in without any bias, treat them the way they deserve to be treated. Someone we can trust."
" . . . Arthur?" Ruby groused.
"Sorry, Ruby, but if these things scared me, my cousins will be terrified. Plus, if word got out that my uncle's bakery was haunted, he'd be ruined."
"What about dad?" she offered instead.
"Sorry, Rubes, but dad's scared shitless of ghosts," Yang said with a shake of her head. "Given they can punch you, but you can't punch them back, and I can understand the sentiment," she said eyeing the lawnmower from before, who chattered apologetically at her with pointed teeth.
"Hmmm… Well, the bar has been set pretty high. This might be harder than we thought," Ozpin said stroking his chin, everyone racking their brain for ideas.
"I uh…" Blake spoke up, pausing as she felt everyone's eyes upon her; organic and inorganic alike. "I think I might know someone."
*NEW WORLD*
AN:
I... have been itching... to do this one... for a really... really long time.
And I'm not joking or being metaphorical when I say that, either. I came up with the Rough for this idea back in early 2016!
Only reason I know that with any degree of certainty (down to the Month and Day in fact) is because I keep my "Idea Strings" archived for easy reference on account of having so many ideas for chapters, arcs, crossovers, and cameos. Even when limiting each one to the 100+10 range, when you get a bunch of PMs nearing the 8,000 max character limit, that builds up into a lot of ideas. Bare minimum we're talking maybe 15,000 individual PM "blocks" filled with ideas, questions, answers, revisions, and more ideas in the Soundboarding back-and-forth between myself and my Beta, Spaceman. Without him, some of my more-recent stories wouldn't be as good as they are now.
You would not believe the ideas that come together when two people are coming up with them.
This chapter has been a long time coming, a great deal about the Fanon having changed from the original plan four years ago; in the original draft, Jack & Weiss would've joined in, not going off into the woods on some Mystery Fetch Quest like they are now. That being said, I like to think I made an interesting new twist on introducing the Rotom from Pokémon to the world of RWBY.
Tell me what you think of the fast-paced horror/comedy-esque vibe and them walking in on a dead guy.
Until then, see you next time!