Memoirs of the Holy War

by Naryfiel Lilith

It was a war that spanned across two generations. It was a war that tore Jugdral to pieces. It was a war between those who only did what they thought was right. It was a war manipulated by those who had suffered too much. It was a war filled with tragic mistakes and crippling hope. It was a war immortalized by the survivors, and this is their tale. (FE4 Novelization)

13. Interlude - Guard

Interlude – Guard

---

When the army officially dissolved in the wake of the peace agreement, I expected things in Evans to quiet down. Somehow, however, they didn't. Most of the soldiers continue to come in and out of the castle for training, now as the city militia, and Sigurd hired many locals as servants. Thus, the castle remains lively. I didn't mind. It made every day cheerful.

---

"The ceron flower is a plant used in many, many different types of medicine and grows in a variety of different environments. For this reason, you can find it in most apothecaries across Jugdral." I spoke clearly and slowly, giving Lord Oifeye time to take notes. He always took notes during lessons, unlike the other three. He said it helped him remember better. "Despite its uses, one must be very careful with it."

"Is it because you can over-forage?" Dew asked, looking up from his writing lesson. I was having him copy some sentences I wrote down, simple ones he could read, while he listened. Not only was he very good at multitasking, but he actually focused better when he did. "If it's used for a lot of things, then lots of people must be pulling it up."

"Thankfully, ceron flowers grow in abundance, so you would have to try very hard to pick everything in an area," I answered, leaning down to point at that paragraph in the book, mostly for the other three. Sigurd had kindly bought copies of my medicine books for the four, making it easier for me to teach them. Today, because the weather was so nice, said lesson took place in the courtyard, where I sat on one of the benches in the side-garden and the boys sat on the ground at my feet. Finn and Shannan shared one book; Lord Oifeye and Dew shared the other, as best as Dew could manage. He still relied a lot on the pictures. "No, the reason why you must be careful is because it is poisonous when used alone."

"...A plant used in many types of medicine is poisonous?" Dew looked unamused, while Shannan and Finn looked alarmed. Lord Oifeye dutifully took his notes, frowning in concentration. "I guess that makes some sense? Maybe? It always feels like medicine has two outcomes depending on how much."

"I would argue four. But yes, it is something to always be wary of, both when making medicine and administering. This is why we always strive for the minimum effective dose." I smiled at them. "We can discuss that more later. For now, continuing with the ceron flower..."

"Wait, how poisonous is it?"

"Very. Thankfully, it is easily curable. If you do not have a staff on hand, which you four will not, the antidote is simple to make. The most common reason why care would be delayed is because they will try the broad-spectrum antidote first and waste valuable time."

"So, it uses a different one?"

"Yes, but let's focus first on the most common uses for ceron flowers, starting with the roots. Then we'll talk about the symptoms of ceron poisoning."

Thus the lesson continued, with the boys stopping me every once in a while to ask questions or for me to repeat something. Not even being outside changed how these lessons usually went, though there were certainly more distractions compared to my workshop. After all, our proximity to the gates gave us a good view of all those entering and exiting the castle. Sir Arden was in charge of guarding it today, and he somehow made conversation with literally everyone who passed as he checked everyone was who they said they were, going through any papers, etc. Most of the time, they were those we knew fairly well, family members of those who worked in the castle or those asked to come in for a quick job.

At one point, however, an unusual group appeared. It was a trio who were all wearing traveler's cloaks, still dusty from the road, and what made them stand out was their clothing was different from the ones typically worn here in Verdane. So, while my four students busied themselves discussing what I'd just gone over, I twisted to get a better look at our guests, noting the trio was actually a group of four. The eldest of the group, a man around Prince Kurth's age, carried a baby in a sling across his chest while he talked good-naturedly with Sir Arden. The other two, a boy and a girl around Finn's age, held the reins for their three horses, looking around in blatant curiosity. As I studied them, I decided their clothes looked familiar. The quality was lesser, but the cut was the same as Prince Quan and Lady Ethlyn's own clothing.

"Finn?" I asked softly, reluctantly interrupting them. Thankfully, none of them minded. "The ones at the gates... Do you happen to recognize any of them?"

"At the gates?" Finn asked with a frown, standing so he could get a better look. He nearly fell when his legs protested the sudden change, since the lesson had been going on for a good couple of hours, but Lord Oifeye reached up to let Finn use him as a balance. "Thanks... now, gates..." He looked over, studying them all carefully. Then he blinked a few times before calling out, "Duke Dryas?" The older man with the baby glanced over at the name, catching Finn's eye almost instantly, and smiled. "And that's... Glade and Selphina with him. Glade is the son of Duke Acamas, and Duke Dryas's squire, while Selphina is Duke Dryas's daughter. I'm not certain why they're here?"

"Would it have something to do with the baby Duke Dryas is carrying?"

"Baby?" Finn got on his tiptoes to see and he smiled finally. The boy at the gates, meanwhile, noticed us and quickly asked Duke Dryas something. "Ah, of course. They must have brought Princess Altena." Oh? This seemed a little small for a royal escort. "How did you guess I would know them, Alicia? They're not wearing clothing typical of Leonster nobility or knights."

"The styles are similar." I noticed the boy tying two of the horses' reins to a nearby post so he could run over. "Which one is this?" I didn't want to make assumptions, after all.

"Glade, Alicia." Finn stepped around Lord Oifeye then and greeted the boy with a smile. "Hey, it's been a while."

"It has indeed, Finn!" Glade answered, answering with his own smile. At my feet, Lord Oifeye and Dew stood, glancing at each other, while Shannan climbed onto the bench next to me to cling to my sleeve. "You have been missed. General Xavier sends his regards!"

"Now why would he do that?" Finn looked genuinely confused, and Glade rolled his eyes. "Ah, never mind. Is all well back in Leonster? If you're dressed more like commoners, I am guessing Thracia is gnawing on the border again, so you traveled in secrecy."

"As always, you're quick on the uptake." Glade shrugged. "There was a raid not long ago, simple enough to disperse. A quick show of force, and they ran off like carrion. Still, you know as well as I do how clever Travant is, and he has been unnaturally quiet in recent months, so it was deemed unsafe to travel openly. Thus, Count Dryas's ruse. We pretended to be simple travelers, a father and his three children."

"He should've chosen 'son-in-law' for you, Glade." Finn grinned, mischief incarnate, and Glade suddenly turned a remarkable shade of red. The girl glanced over with a noticeable frown and very quickly tied her own horse to the same post. "Ah, wonderful! You still have your crush on her!"

"By Gaia's grace, Finn…!"

"What's got you two all lively?" the girl, Selphina, asked as she ran over to find out what was going on. Taking a look at her, I guessed she was maybe a year younger than Glade and Finn, and, thus, was Lord Oifeye's age. "Come on, tell me!" She pouted at both, and neither Finn nor Glade actually answered. Combined with Finn's comments, I could only conclude Glade had a crush on Selphina. "Ugh... you two always do this! Why am I always left out?"

"I'm certain one day it will make more sense, Selphina," Finn replied, his smile a touch sheepish. The girl, Selphina, scowled. "A-anyway..." He glanced at me a little desperately, and I smiled reassuringly. No, I did not mind being a convenient distraction in this case, and I doubted the others would either. "I'm being rude. Glade, Selphina, let me introduce you first since Duke Dryas is taking a long time at the gates."

"He and Sir Arden are chatting about this and that, nothing major." Selphina smiled prettily at all of us, her earlier annoyance forgotten. "Hello! I'm Selphina, a bow knight in training for Leonster." What a shame Sir Midir was in Yngvi, then. Perhaps he could have given her some advice. "This is Glade, my father's squire. He's training to be a lance knight like Finn."

"Glade and I became squires in the same year, while Selphina joined the year after us." Finn gestured to Dew and Lord Oifeye first. "This is Oifeye, Lord Sigurd's squire and distant cousin, and this is Dew..." Finn hesitated then, not certain what to add, if anything.

"I'm a former thief taken in by the army," Dew answered for himself without a trace of shame. He even grinned before nudging Lord Oifeye. "Anyway, since the kid is here, you want to get her parents while I get her aunt and uncle?" Lord Oifeye thought for a moment, and then nodded, bowing apologetically, somehow, to the two. "Then we'll head off to do that!" Both bolted before any of us could say anything. Well, then.

"Fast as always," Finn observed, noticeably impressed. Then he turned his smile right back to Glade and Selphina. "I apologize for their rudeness. Dew is very big on efficiency." That was certainly one way to put it. "Regardless, this is Alicia, who served as the Chief Healer for the campaign here and now remains as the castle's main healer. Next to her is Shannan, another child Lord Sigurd has taken in." That was the most tactful, and safest, explanation, especially when Shannan eyed them so warily, half-hiding behind me. "We were just having a lesson on medicines, which... er..."

"We would have had to stop soon anyway as you four have chores," I noted, gently reassuring Finn about the interruption. His smile still became sheepish. "Well met, you two. I hope the journey was not too hard on you?"

"Ah, no, we managed well enough," Glade answered, bowing respectfully for some reason. His eyes even shone from admiration. "So, you were the healer for their campaign? Prince Quan's letter home sung your praises, my lady."

"My, my, there is no need to flatter me."

"It is no flattery! Princess Ethlyn similarly praised you, and how much she learned from your example." He might have continued on the topic, or perhaps Selphina would have chimed in since she looked ready to say something. However, I was saved from the potential awkwardness by Duke Dryas finally leaving Sir Arden to join us. "Ah, Duke Dryas, are you finished gossiping?"

"Information gathering is not the same thing as gossip, and Sir Arden remains as good of a source as ever," Duke Dryas answered with great dignity. Shannan hid more behind me, especially when Duke Dryas's sharp gaze landed on him. I subtly shifted to hide him further. I didn't know what all he knew or what his opinions were, but I would not let him hurt Shannan, duke of Leonster or not. "Finn, it's good to see you again. You have been missed greatly in Leonster."

"Glade said the same thing, and even told me General Xavier sent his regards," Finn replied, noticeably more formal with the duke than he had been with Glade and Selphina. The baby, Altena, immediately squirmed and fussed in the sling at his voice. "...I was wondering why, but did it have something to do with Princess Altena's naps?"

"It was not the only reason!" Duke Dryas laughed, while Glade rolled his eyes and Selphina sighed gustily. "Ah, but since you are here and she's already reaching for you..."

"H-her parents should hold her first!" Finn stepped back and brought his hands up. "I dare not!"

"I highly doubt our prince or princess would care." Duke Dryas shook his head, smiling a little as he easily settled Altena back down. "I see you remain awkward with her, no matter how good you are."

"Well, he is still young," I commented, pushing myself onto my feet. Shannan moved with me to better hide behind my skirts. "Ah, the books..." I made to pick them up, but Finn hurriedly did it for me, as I thought he would. It gave him a perfect excuse, after all, and the relieved look he gave me told me he knew I'd done it on purpose. "Given how he fusses, I imagine he worries about dropping her." Finn's slight wince and slighter sulk hinted I was absolutely correct.

"Mmm, that's a fair point," Duke Dryas conceded, nodding. He then smiled indulgently at Selphina. "I remember being similarly awkward with my daughter. Though, in my case, I didn't get to meet her until she was four months old."

"Oh?"

"Unfortunately, there was a bitter campaign with Thracia, so I was away for over a year. I learned of my wife's pregnancy through letters, yet I could not afford to return with Thracia's dragons nipping at our heels." Duke Dryas glanced at Finn, and I wondered... Finn had told me he had been orphaned young thanks to a sudden raid from Thracia's knights. Was this the same campaign? "Still, Finn, it will be good practice for when you have a child of your own."

"...Who would marry me?" Finn asked, genuinely curious. Almost immediately, both Glade and Selphina facepalmed. Given their reactions, and some tidbits I'd overheard from the servants, I had a feeling Finn actually had plenty of admirers, but was as oblivious as Sigurd. "Er... what's wrong? Why do you two...?"

"I imagine it is because they think the same as me. A kind and responsible young man like yourself will easily find a partner once you become interested in such things," I answered, deciding to be terrible and tease him. I'd found I quite liked teasing those I loved. It was fun! "That's all."

"I... that..." Finn turned delightfully red and sulked at me. "You're teasing me."

"Dreadful, I know." I ruffled his hair, and he was torn between smiling and sulking still. "Yet I believe it to be true nonetheless."

"Alicia!"

"Duke Dryas!" Prince Quan's voice carried far through the courtyard, saving Finn from further teasing, and we all turned to see Prince Quan and Lady Ethlyn sprinting towards us. There was no sign of Lord Oifeye; he must be getting rooms ready. "Well met, well met!" he greeted, as soon as he was close. Lady Ethlyn didn't bother trying to be polite; she immediately seized her little girl from the sling and cuddled her against her chest. Altena's bubbly laughter showed she did not mind at all. "I thank you for-"

"Prince Quan, you should take after your wife and forgo politeness," Duke Dryas interrupted, laughing at them both. He reached behind his neck to remove the sling, rubbing his neck as he was finally freed from the weight. "You've been separated from your daughter for months."

"I still have to thank you! You did me a terribly huge favor!"

"My prince, I am a duke of Leonster and a knight in your service. You owe me no favors."

"I highly disagree!"

"Oh, my baby girl, I missed you so, so much..." Lady Ethlyn gushed, stepping over to my side for some reason. She then beamed at me, making sure she had my attention. "Here, Lady Alicia, this is Altena." She shifted her arms so I could see her daughter a little better. "Altena, this is Lady Alicia." Given how Altena was not even a year old, I somehow doubted she would remember who I was. Still, I smiled at her, and urged Shannan to step out from behind me to look too. "Oh, Shannan, I didn't see you. I'm sorry." She sat down on the bench to make it easier for him. "This is my daughter."

"The one you and Quan keep bragging about," Shannan noted, peering at her curiously. For her part, Altena stared back, just as curious. She even reached up to bat at his face. "Hey, don't do that?" He tried to poke her hand away, only for her to latch onto his finger. "Uh..."

"Hee... she likes you."

"Taking your word for it. Only experience I have with babies is the refugees." Shannan moved his hand back and forth, and Altena gurgled at the 'game'. At least, she did until I leaned a little closer. Then she immediately let go of Shannan's finger to snatch a fistful of my hair which had fallen over my shoulder. "Uh... I know I did that too, so I don't really have a leg to stand on, but..."

"And she likes Alicia's pretty hair, it seems!" Lady Ethlyn, ignoring how my hair was not 'pretty', said hair was still attached to my scalp and I could not move now. This was like with Zaya's baby, except worse because Altena insisted on waving her arms and, thus, pulling on my hair. "Quan, can you come here, please? I can't break Altena's grip by myself." At first, I wondered why it would be hard when Lady Ethlyn had a minor strength boost from inheriting Baldr's blood, but then I remembered something potentially terrible. Altena, as Prince Quan's first born, most likely had Major Njorun blood, and she had Minor Baldr from Lady Ethlyn. Both were Holy Bloods which boosted strength. Yes, both Holy Bloods were known for their not-as-specialized blessings, but... "Before Altena pulls out Alicia's hair like she did Calf's beard?"

"Yikes, sorry, Lady Alicia, hang on," Prince Quan immediately said, at our side in an instant. It took him a few tries, but he managed to pry Altena's fist open long enough for me to pull my hair free. My scalp stung. "There, per... ah..." Of course, Altena did not like being deprived of her 'toy' and scrunched up her face in indignant tears. "I'm sorry, Altena, but Lady Alicia's hair is hers, not yours." He picked her up then and cradled her against his shoulder to pat her back. "There, there..." Yet now I felt guilty, and looked about for some sort of distraction. Thankfully, there was an easy one; Sigurd had arrived and I waved him over.

"Glad I checked the courtyard first," Sigurd joked, with a bright smile and brighter laugh. His attention, however, snapped to the crying Altena and he went to Prince Quan's side to frown worriedly. "Aw, but my niece is so terribly upset. What happened?"

"She grabbed Lady Alicia's hair to use as a toy, and is mad I 'took' it from her," Prince Quan explained, still working on calming Altena down. Thankfully, she was just sniffling by this point. Much more crying and I might have given her my hair back. "Anyway, look, Altena, it's your Uncle Sigurd."

"She's adorable." Sigurd offered his hand to her with a smile, and Altena took his finger. "Yes, quite adorable. Taking after Ethlyn already, lucky her. I feared she'd take after you!"

"Very funny, Sigurd."

"Is there something wrong with her taking after me?" Lady Ethlyn asked archly, a wicked grin on her face. Prince Quan immediately sputtered out some protest, while Lady Ethlyn laughed. "Well?"

"You would think him happy to have such an adorable little girl," Sigurd 'agreed', easily teaming up with Lady Ethlyn. Prince Quan glared at them both, a sight not the least-bit-intimidating with Altena trying to now grab and eat his hair, while still holding onto Sigurd's finger. "Will you be mad if I say she's even more adorable than you were?"

"In this case, no!"

"I hate both of you sometimes," Prince Quan sighed, even as he very expertly kept Altena from climbing onto his head outright. Did she do it often? "What is with you and heights, Altena? You're always trying to climb."

"She likes heights?" Sigurd asked, surprised. Then he grinned. "She definitely doesn't take after you. You turn green when you're any higher than a horse!"

"I do not!"

"You were paler than snow at Verdane's Castle!"

"I was still reeling over what we witnessed! We had to watch you and Lady Alicia try to out-hero each other! I was too far away to help!" ...Out-hero?

I was almost tempted to ask, but Shannan tugged my skirt and distracted me. When I looked down, he pointed to where Deirdre lingered a short distance away. She was curled in on herself, fidgeting and fussing with her hands, an awkward look on her face. I smiled as soon as I saw her and headed over to nudge her forward. I didn't say anything; I didn't need to. Deirdre looked at me, eyes wavering with worry, and I simply nudged her again with a smile to give her silent encouragement. She hesitated a moment longer before nodding, smiling and making a point to ruffle Shannan's hair. Then she tentatively walked over to join the group, with Lady Ethlyn immediately seizing her arm to drag her the rest of the way.

I muffled a laugh at the sight, and watched as Sigurd took Altena from Quan, cradling her with ease and letting her curiously pat his face. Then I wondered what to do about our guests, only to see Finn already taking over escorting them inside. So, I took Shannan's hand in mine and the two of us left, walking around the castle. I... I was trying to break the habit of always rushing back to work. It was hard, but things like this, taking a walk with someone, helped a lot. Shannan knew and understood. He even grinned as he clung to my hand, happy as can be, especially now that we were away from strangers. So, we wandered, having no destination in sight, but somehow ending up behind the castle, near the training yards. Perhaps Shannan had led us here, since Lex and Ayra were sparring there as per usual. I'd learned upon returning it had become part of their routine, since Lex had difficulties fighting against very fast fighters who could dodge quickly and Ayra had difficulties fighting against heavily defensive warriors. They were winding down as Shannan and I passed, though, and both smiled when they saw us.

"Hey, what's up?" Lex asked, trotting over. Ayra followed at a more subdued pace, and we met them by one of the many benches set up by the yards. This one was the only one which currently had towels on it. "Heard some sort of commotion up front."

"We have visitors," I explained, passing Lex a towel. He promptly handed it off to Ayra before grabbing his own. "Specifically, Altena's escorts have arrived."

"Oh, is that why there was a squeal loud enough to make my ears ring?"

"Lady Ethlyn did not squeal that loudly. In fact, she did not squeal at all." I smiled a little, and Lex laughed. "Regardless, we were out front having a lesson when they arrived, but I fear my students had to scatter."

"Dew and Oifeye played messengers, while Finn is playing the guide by now. That'll explain why I saw Oifeye running around earlier." He wiped the sweat off his face, and frowned when he noticed Ayra's worried look. "What's wrong? If it's strangers being here, don't worry. I don't think any of Leonster would do anything, if only for Quan's sake, but if they try, we'll keep you safe."

"Hmm? Oh, no, it's not that," Ayra replied, shaking her head. She patted her face and neck with her towel, thinking over her words. "I was fretting more over... Altena is Quan and Ethlyn's baby, right? How difficult it must have been for her. I mean… going through Aed was hard on Shannan..." She trailed off, and I had to 'snap' back to my calm to keep from replying. I remained very uncomfortable by it, truthfully, but she was here safely and that was what mattered. "That's all. I can't help but fret."

"It's a journey Quan's made a lot over the years," Lex pointed out. It was strange how the words were not comforting. "I get your point, but I think they were better prepared than you were."

"Logically, yes." She sighed, shaking her head. "Like I said, I can't help it."

"Maybe you'll feel better when you see her. I'm sure they'll parade her around to everyone once the initial greetings are out of the way."

"Maybe." She smiled faintly to let Lex know she appreciated the attempt to cheer her, and then she focused on me. "I take it this is why you and Shannan are taking a walk then?"

"It is," Shannan confirmed, grinning. He still held my hand, but he reached out to grab Ayra's too. "Want to join? It should be a good way to cool down, right?"

"Well, you're not wrong," Ayra began slowly, clearly hesitating for some reason. But then she smiled. "All right, if Alicia doesn't mind. Lex, what will you do?"

"He'll come with us, right?" Shannan turned to Lex with the most pleading eyes. Lex didn't even last a second before sighing and nodding. "Yay! Let's go!"

We ended up having tea after the walk, mostly because Lex and Ayra were both thirsty from their spar. Lex shared some gossip and stories while I brewed the tea mix I made him, and I kept note of just what Ayra and Shannan might like in their teas. I wanted to make mixes for them too, eventually.

---

It was unusual for me to be by myself in my workshop. Someone cleaning, someone helping me make medicines, someone bringing me things to mend, someone doing inventory... there was almost always at least one other person in my workshop with me, no matter the hour. In fact, the person was usually Dew, but he was helping run messages today since one of the usual messenger boys was home sick with a cold. Finn or Lord Oifeye would try to be here if Dew wasn't available, but both were having lessons with Sir Naoise and Sir Alec today. Shannan did pop his head in earlier, but it was while he and Ayra were heading out with Lex and Sir Arden to watch a match in the local arena. Prince Quan, Lady Ethlyn, Sigurd, and Deirdre were, as one would expect, doting on Altena now that they had seen Duke Dryas, Glade, and Selphina off. They hadn't stayed long; Duke Dryas had to return as soon as possible in case Thracia attacked. As his squire, Glade apparently had to stay wherever Duke Dryas was, and Selphina certainly wasn't going to stay in a foreign castle without her father.

So, I was alone. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it gave me time to work on my current project: Deirdre's wedding veil. In Verdane, it was traditional for the Maid of Honor to make the bride's wedding veil, and it was to be kept a total secret from the bride and groom. As soon as I'd learned, I had sent Mistress Yesui a letter asking about patterns, and she sent back a few of the more popular ones. One of them incorporated flowers, and I chose it so I could embroider aevlise and klelia blossoms. It wasn't just to tease Deirdre further with them. No, I remembered what the flowers meant: peace and healing, hope and protection. I hoped they might lend Deirdre both for her wedding. I knew she'd be nervous; she was already nervous. If this could give her any comfort, then...

"Alicia!" Sigurd's sudden call startled me, and I leapt to my feet and hastily hid the veil, nearly upending my sewing basket in the process. "Er..." he continued, staring. I couldn't blame him; I'd even knocked my chair over. "What was...?"

"Veil," I blurted, adjusting my awkward covering to ensure he did not see even one thread. It wasn't supposed to be 'bad luck' if he did see it by accident, but it wasn't 'good luck' either. "I was working on Deirdre's veil."

"Oh." He blushed and his smile became sheepish. "Well, I promise I didn't see anything. I'll... be sure to knock from now on as a warning." I probably should only work on it in my room anyway. Deirdre and Sigurd both came to my workshop frequently to check on me. "A-anyway..."

"What brings you here, Sigurd?" It was best to move the conversation along. "I would have thought you would be doting on Altena." In fact, I had planned on it!

"Altena's asleep. As are her parents. Deirdre was actually tucking them in." He bit back a laugh, and I had to smile. "But something was brought up and..." He trailed off, suddenly uncertain. I righted my chair as I waited. "Your birthday is soon, isn't it? Next month?"

"How would you know that?"

"Lex." Azelle, just how much did you tell your friends about me? "So, as you can imagine, as soon as Lex let it slip, some of the others, namely Ethlyn, thought about throwing you a surprise party."

"Is it a surprise if you tell me?"

"First of all, you wouldn't show you were surprised besides staring blankly, and that's no fun." He had a point, at least about the first part. "Secondly, you hate being the center of attention. Surprise parties, by definition, center all the attention on the one being celebrated." He smiled wryly. "Yet even if you were uncomfortable and hated every second, you would still endure with the calm smile you always wear. If only for the sake of those around you."

"..." I could only sit back down in my chair, since I didn't have a reply. He was right, after all. "Why bring it up then?"

"I wanted to ask if there was a compromise you'd be comfortable with. I do think you should be celebrated, especially given what Alec reported." A strangely dark look crossed his face, and I wondered what Sir Alec had said. Given the context, I would guess it had something to do with me, but... wait, did Sir Alec tell him about the encounter at my house? Why? "But your comfort is most important. If you don't want anything, simply tell me. I'll make sure the planning stops."

"I see." I leaned back a little in my chair, resting my hands in my lap as I thought. He was right; I didn't like being the center of attention. The festivities when I returned were my absolute limit, even with everyone here. Yet I did want to indulge their strangeness, and I... "I do... want to learn how to accept the affection you all give me." I spoke slowly and softly, in an attempt to somehow order my thoughts. "I fear I am... unused to such things."

"I know." They were simple words, but they held a lot of weight. Yes, Sir Alec had told him about the encounter at my house, and Sigurd had taken some educated guesses based on what he had observed and what I had told him myself. This was another reason why he came to ask me directly. "But there's no need to force yourself. We're not going anywhere. You can take your time."

"This is true." I took a breath and smiled at him. "Might we try something simple, like a dinner, this year?"

"A dinner filled with apples?" He grinned and I made myself make a face. It startled a laugh out of him. "If you don't want that, then you'll need to tell us what else you like."

"Truthfully, I never thought much about it. Food was always just food. I like apples because they remind me of my brothers. Velthomer has apple groves, and Arvis and I met during Yngvi's Harvest Festival."

"Oh, the Harvest Cider is simply the best..." He sighed happily at the memory, and I had to muffle a laugh. I knew he'd understand. "In that case, we'll simply make it fancy and see what you like." Yes, I think... something like that would work best. "What would you like to do about presents?"

"Presents?" It took me a very long moment to process, and when I did, I felt foolish. If they were going through the trouble of planning a party, then of course they would go through the trouble of giving me presents. It hadn't occurred to me; only my brothers had ever given me gifts in the past. "I... might it be private? They can just be handed to me?" I did not want any sort of... anything.

"All right, I'll slip it into conversation." He chuckled, amused. "What a relief. I was half-afraid you'd say something like 'I do not need presents', like how you are about gratitude and payment." Well, I couldn't deny I thought about it. "It would be awkward explaining to the merchant if I had to send the books back to Miletos."

"...Miletos?"

"I snagged some medicinal texts from there." He did? Truly? "You have to wait until your birthday for them, though."

"Can I not have one now and the rest later?"

"Aren't you still going through the books Quan asked for from Leonster?"

"I finished those last week."

"Huh. Better get on Eldigan about those books from Nordion then." He became thoughtful; I began plotting how to get him to give me the books ahead of time. "Ah, but I should get on the topic I used as my excuse to head this way."

"Do you need an excuse?"

"I had to distract Ethlyn. She's stubborn even when half-asleep." He grinned, and I could only sigh, shake my head, but smile in return. I suppose I had been his conspirator yet again, in a way. "Anyway, there's to be a tournament soon."

"There is?"

"Yes, it used to be a yearly event for Evans, taking advantage of how it's on the border of three countries to bring in tourists and mercenaries. Of course, it hasn't been held in the past couple of years thanks to the plague..." His words and expression faltered, and I could only look away. We two, and King Jamke, were the only ones who knew the 'plague' had likely not been a plague at all. We still didn't know how Sandima and his fellows managed it. "A-anyway, Esen suggested we host it again. Not only is it my hope it will show the people we want to honor their culture, not replace it, but he thought it might help remind them of happier times." Esen was... ah, yes, he was the person King Jamke recommended to serve as Sigurd's 'local aide'. In reality, the plan was to install Esen as the lord of Evans once Sigurd was allowed to leave. "However, I wanted to wait for further plans until you could attend a meeting."

"You wanted me to attend?"

"I figured any and all safety precautions needed a healer's eye. After all, if something goes wrong, you'll have to deal with the blood." He shrugged, as if it was obvious. Perhaps to him, it was. "Are you free now?"

"Yes, I am." I smiled at him. "I need to take the veil back to my room first, so where should I meet you?"

"The main hall?"

"Very well."

I returned the veil to my room as quickly as I could, tucking it into one of the drawers to keep it hidden, and met Sigurd just as he was placing word of where we were heading. Then we left to visit Esen in his home, a manor which had belonged to some noble or another who had left in the plague's wake and had not returned. He greeted us with surprise, yet smiles, and we had a quick tea as we went over the basic details. It didn't take long; intensive planning would have to wait until we toured the arena ourselves to see what safety protocols were already in place. So, we set a date for the tour and Sigurd and I left in high spirits. Not long after we left, Deirdre found us to suggest a trip to the markets. So, instead of returning immediately like we had half-planned, the three of us ended up walking down the main street and perusing the shops and stalls set up.

"Oh, look, the one there has such pretty ribbons," Deirdre commented, pointing to one of the stalls while she clung to me. She walked between Sigurd and me, holding onto my arm because crowds still made her queasy. Yet she smiled brightly, invigorated by the cheer. "Hmm... oh, that blue one would look nice in your hair, Alicia."

"I fear if you buy me a ribbon, I will use it as a bandage in an emergency," I tried to refuse, shaking my head. Many glanced at us in curiosity, but most smiled indulgently. "There's no need to waste the money."

"Mmm... but it would be pretty, and I can always save to buy you another if you did..."

"What's this about 'saving'?" Sigurd asked with a laugh. He caught Deirdre's hand to kiss it, smiling innocently at her deep blush. "We shouldn't spend wastefully, of course, but buying a gift for a friend isn't wasteful." It could be, depending on the gift and the amount. Then again, like Velthomer, Chalphy was situated on a trade route and, thus, was very wealthy. "I agree the blue ribbon will look nice on Alicia, and there's a purple one which matches your lovely eyes, Deirdre." He grinned, and I already knew the next words out of his mouth. "Be right back~!"

"Oh, Sigurd!" Deirdre yelped, startled out of the post-hand-kiss daze. Yet Sigurd had already gone to the stall to purchase both ribbons. "I need to get him a gift in return. What would he like?"

"I believe the greatest gift you can give him is a smile," I answered, honest and truthful. It had the same effect as my teasing: more blushing. "Does he not say so himself?"

"Th-that... oh..." Deirdre pouted, and I muffled a laugh with my free hand. "So mean, Alicia."

"I know; I'm terrible."

"No, mean. Big difference."

"Is that so?"

"Yes."

Sigurd returned before I could ask Deirdre to explain the 'big difference' and he tied Deirdre's hair back in a ponytail with the purple ribbon. I brought my hair over my shoulder to braid before either could do anything, and took the blue ribbon to tie it myself. Then we were back to our walk through, Deirdre clinging to my arm once more. Quite a bit caught our eyes, but not enough to actually stop and buy things. Then again, the purpose had been to look around, so it didn't matter too much.

"Hmm? Is that Quan?" Sigurd asked at one point, pointing down one of the streets. We stopped to see he was right; Prince Quan was out and about, with Altena settled against his shoulder to look at all the people. "Quan!" He waved to catch Prince Quan's attention, and Prince Quan walked over as soon as he saw us. "What brings you here? I would have thought you would still be asleep, my friend."

"Altena woke up, so I brought her outside," Prince Quan explained, once he was close enough to speak without yelling. Altena twisted to look at us, and smiled and babbled when she did. "Ethlyn needs her rest."

"Ah, so you're out finding a surprise gift for her." Sigurd grinned and Prince Quan blushed and looked away. "You're always like this."

"I really don't need to hear this from you." He scowled then, his blush only growing. Deirdre giggled, and I muffled a laugh. "What brings you here?"

"Deirdre suggested a walk, since Alicia and I got out of a quick meeting." Sigurd shrugged. "Anything in particular you're looking for? I just bought ribbons for Deirdre and Alicia at a stall, and they all seemed like good quality."

"That explains the ribbons in their hair." Prince Quan thought about it, and leaned his head away when Altena tried to grab his reddened ear. He was still blushing. "I'd want something else as well, but Ethlyn was saying she needed a new hair ribbon, so I can start there."

"Of course." Sigurd slung an arm around Prince Quan's shoulder, careful to avoid Altena. Altena, however, reached for him in silent demand. "Hmm? Want me to carry you for a little bit?" He twisted to hold both hands out and Prince Quan passed him Altena. Immediately, Sigurd lifted her high into the air, to Prince Quan's yelp. Altena, however, giggled like it was the best thing ever. "There we are! High as a cloud!"

"Sigurd, hold her properly!"

"I am, though?"

"Not above your damn head!"

"Careful, careful, there's a child listening."

"She's not going to remember!"

"Sigurd, can you at least wait to hold her so high until we're out of the crowded market?" I requested, mostly to deescalate the situation. We were attracting a lot of stares. "What if someone bumps you?"

"Ah, fair point," Sigurd conceded, tucking Altena against his shoulder. She pouted at not being high anymore, but placated herself by sticking Sigurd's cravat in her mouth. "So, back to the ribbon stall?"

"There was a yellow one which would suit Lady Ethlyn..." I glanced at Deirdre to confirm, and she nodded with a shy smile. "We should see if it's still there."

"Then to wherever else Quan wants to go, since we didn't exactly have a destination. Besides the apothecary, knowing you."

"...I wasn't going to ask." Still, I looked away, pointedly ignoring everyone's laughter. "What about perfume? Lady Ethlyn mentioned she liked the ones Verdane made."

"Now that's a thought..." Quan replied, mulling over the suggestion. He tried to reclaim Altena, but she instead reached for Deirdre. "...I'm being ignored by my own daughter..."

"Is it not a good thing she is so fond of her aunt?" I asked, speaking lightly. Both Deirdre and Sigurd blushed, even as he passed Altena to her. Altena tried to grab Deirdre's circlet, but was soon distracted by her hair. "You two blush easily."

"They do. I should tease them more to make up for the slight." His grin belied any attempt of sounding surly, and I muffled a laugh. "Ah, right, I need to find a good weapons shop too."

"Does Lady Ethlyn need a new weapon?"

"No... well, maybe." He thought about it for a moment, and Deirdre looked intrigued for some reason. "Ah, it can be worried about another day. Truthfully, I'd like to commission something for Finn. His sixteenth birthday is coming up." Was it? I should think of a gift. "I fear if I had it made in Leonster, it would take too long to arrive."

"There's a smith in town who Jamke likes," Sigurd answered easily, gesturing for us to step out of the way of something. A quick look showed a cart trying to make its way through. "We can head there and see the wares. That should tell you if the quality will match your standards."

"Very true," Quan agreed, smiling. He smiled more when Altena squirmed and reached her pudgy hands out to him, demanding to be held by him once more. I think she liked being passed around, strangely enough. She certainly looked happy enough when he took her back. "But we should first go to the ribbon stall."

"Quite true. It was back this way, I think." With that, Sigurd led the way, with Prince Quan close behind. Both Deirdre and I also followed, but...

"Alicia, Alicia!" she hissed before we took two steps, tugging my sleeve. She glanced surreptitiously at Prince Quan and Sigurd and leaned in close. "Um..."

"Have you thought of a gift for Sigurd?" I asked softly, tilting my head towards her so we could better talk quietly. Some people gave us weird looks, but neither of us paid them mind. "Is it something else?"

"Something else. I was thinking of getting a weapon for Ethlyn. But I want it to be from me, and if Sigurd learned, he'll buy it for me." Ah, yes, Sigurd had a habit of spoiling those he loved. "...I know technically our money is shared, but still..."

"You want it to be a gift you picked and bought, not something you picked and he bought." It was easy enough to understand. "What sort of weapon?"

"She uses swords mainly, since the Baldr blood gives her an instinctual grasp of the weapon, but I'm certain a horseback healer needs range. So, maybe a magic blade?" Deirdre hummed a little in thought. "Can they do that?"

"We can always ask. If this smith can't, I'm certain they'll know who can." A thought occurred to me. "Since it will be from you, maybe it can be a light magic blade?"

"Oh, I like that...!" Her eyes sparkled at the thought. "But how to ask without those two finding out? I don't think Quan can keep secrets from Ethlyn."

"We'll split off on our own and circle back."

"Yes, that might work best."

"Are you two all right?" Sigurd called back then, startling us. We looked up to see him and Prince Quan waiting a short distance. Altena was actually asleep on Prince Quan's shoulder. "You're falling behind."

"Everything is fine," Deirdre reassured with a bright smile. Sigurd immediately softened at the sight. "We were just talking."

"About?"

"It's girl talk, Sigurd."

"Ah, never mind." Sigurd nodded, accepting the explanation without any hint of skepticism. I supposed growing up with Lady Ethlyn and Lady Edain had taught him not to pry when that was the explanation. It would explain why Deirdre thought to use it. "In that case, should Quan and I move ahead?"

"No, no, I don't want to get lost!" Deirdre laughed, and I muffled my own. "We're not far from the stall, are we?"

We weren't, and Prince Quan did buy a couple of ribbons for Lady Ethlyn. From there, we went to the smith, where Prince Quan did end up placing a commission, and then it was to a stall specializing in fragrances of all kinds. While Sigurd and Prince Quan chatted with the owner about the different scents, Deirdre and I snuck back to the smith to place her own commision. This... did lead to us returning to find Sigurd and Prince Quan bought perfumes for us too, but it was a small price to pay for secrecy. I think.

---

In most ways, my life didn't change after making my 'social debut', but there was one way it did. Drastically. I received... far more letters than I used to. Before, only my brothers would write to me, but now, I had so many I had to actually set time aside each day to review them all. Most of the time, I did this in Lady Ethlyn's room, since she had her own correspondence to sort through, and Deirdre would just as often join us to study what she'd need to know as the lady of a noble household. I didn't know what all it entailed; what little I did made my head spin. I was glad I would never have to worry about it.

"Goodness, why are they inviting me to a ball?" I found myself asking during one of these quiet mornings. I was at a table by the window, sifting through today's letters, while Lady Ethlyn did the same at her desk. Deirdre had curled up in a very plush chair near the same window, reading through a book on finances and economics. "Are they trying to curry favor with Arvis?"

"Some could be," Lady Ethlyn answered absently. She was more focused on her own letters, since many were from Leonster's nobility. I didn't know what duties she had as a princess, but given Deirdre's lessons, I decided I didn't want to know. My head spun enough. "Others might have been impressed by you at the ball." She sulked suddenly, turning to me with a tiny, little frown. "Oh, I wish I had known sooner you were going to debut there, so I could attend too. But by the time I learned, it was far too late for me to arrive in time."

"I might have enjoyed myself if you were there." I skimmed through the letter, hoping for some indication of why they invited me to whatever ball this was. I feared everything blended together too much. "As it stands, I do not know how they could have been impressed. I didn't do anything."

"Sometimes, all you have to do is catch attention. That's why many do their best to make as big of an impact as possible." If others wanted it, they could have it. "Anyway, I'm assuming you don't want to go to whatever it is."

"No, I do not."

"Then may I see that one?" She leaned over in her chair and held out her hand. I scooted my own chair a little closer to pass it to her. Deirdre glanced up from her book, no doubt curious about what was going on, but quickly went back to her studying. I think. She'd been on that particular page for a while. "Hmm..." Lady Ethlyn's hum, however, brought my attention back to her. "Yeah, this is one of those you impressed. She and her husband tend to favor those who can hold onto their calm no matter the situation. Write back you regretfully refuse as you cannot leave for such an extended period given your duties here. They won't feel slighted and, in fact, it'll boost your reputation with them. They're very duty-minded themselves." She passed it back. "Truthfully, they might have been captivated by the rumors of what happened here, and only waited for your social debut to invite you. It's against etiquette to do so earlier." I would very much take her word, and advice, on all of that. "Any other invitations?"

"There is..." I quickly rummaged for the one I was thinking of and held it out to her. "This one is the other proper invitation in today's mess."

"Only two today? I think they're finally figuring out you are not a socialite. Last week, there were fifteen!" She skimmed through the invitation, nodding to herself, and I tried to not sigh at the reminder of all the previous invitations. "This one is close, only a couple hours away. You could attend easily if you wanted." I didn't want to, though. "Oh, it says you can bring guests. Pretty obvious hint they want you to bring Deirdre." I glanced at Deirdre, wondering if I should even bring it up. Given her grimace, though, she had not only been listening in for a while, but she wanted to attend even less than I did. "However, there's no limit to your guests, so what if I tag along too?" ...Well, if Lady Ethlyn attended, it might not be a chore. "I know the lord and lady enough to know they aren't trying to set you up for a fall. It's a very genuine invitation." She smiled prettily then. "I think it'll be good for Deirdre's first true outing, and she really should go to a few before the wedding."

"Hmm..." I looked to Deirdre again, who was distinctly uncomfortable at the notion. "What do you think? Do you want to try?"

"Mmm..." Deirdre kept grimacing, but slowly nodded. "I think I need to, at least," she finally murmured, marking her place and closing her book. If she was giving up now, then she had definitely been stuck on a page for a while. "I know Sigurd would never force me, but if I am always hiding here, I know rumors will spread."

"Rumors will spread no matter what, so you might as well win some allies," Lady Ethlyn declared with a pleased, proud grin. She then brandished her pen like a sword. "That's the best way to fight back in the social sphere! Of course, you won't have to worry too much. Sigurd usually keeps to Chalphy, rarely venturing to other areas. Even then, it was always the homes of those he loves, or the capital."

"So, he never stayed in other countries until now? I've read fostering isn't uncommon for noble children."

"Oh, no, he… well, he was never fostered. Neither of us were. But he did live in Nordion for a year or so to support Eldigan."

"What happened?"

"Shortly after they graduated from the academy, his stepmother unexpectedly died in one of the skirmishes which plague Agustria."

"Stepmother? Skirmishes?"

"Oh, uh..." Lady Ethlyn paused, thinking of her words. "Stepmother is the easier one to explain. Lachesis and Eldigan are half-siblings. Eldigan's mother died when he was young, and his father remarried. He and his stepmother were very close, so when she died, Eldigan was heartbroken. Meaning, as you can expect, Sigurd rode through the night as soon as he heard." Then he had stayed, to ensure his friend would be well as he grappled with his grief. "As for the skirmishes..." She trailed off, frowning. "How much do you know about the Dominion of Agustria?"

"Not a lot. There was..." Deirdre smiled bitterly. "There was... no need to learn..."

"It's fine. Most people get fooled by its reputation as a country of knights. And it is. But there's a reason they have so many knights." Lady Ethlyn twirled her pen about her fingers and leaned back in her chair. "Agustria was, and is, an alliance more than anything. In the past, they were clans led by warlords. Though nominally part of the Loptyrian Empire, their constant infighting meant not even the Emperor could control them. However, during the Holy War, they were united into an army by Hodr, the Black Knight. He accomplished this by taking advantage of their tradition of trial by combat, defeating each one and forcing them to submit to his authority. Thus, it was, and is, a country united solely by the reverent fear they have of Hodr, the one blessed by Jarl of War. While he reigned, the country knew peace, but when he died, the country's internal conflicts spiked. They're still united, due to continued respect and fear for the line, but it is not uncommon for minor squabbles to suddenly turn into outright battle. Hence why they have so many knights, and why those knights are so terrifyingly skilled." I supposed that made some sense, maybe, but my heart ached at all the pointless deaths. If the start was so 'minor', did anyone remember why they fought in the first place? Did Lord Eldigan even know what caused the skirmish which killed his stepmother? "King Imuka holds the lords of Agustria in an iron grip, ruling with fairness and wisdom to keep the peace. It's why Eldigan is so devotedly loyal. Neither have a liking for warfare." She paused then, still twirling her pen. "Wait, I forgot why we're on this topic."

"You said Sigurd rarely traveled?"

"Oh, yes. The point I was originally trying to make was you'll mostly deal with local nobles, and they like Sigurd. You don't have to do much to win them over. They'll love you because they love Sigurd." She smiled brightly then. "Then you'll charm them because you're you, Deirdre."

"Now you tease me." Deirdre made a face and Lady Ethlyn laughed. "Truthfully, I'm very nervous about meeting all these people. So many love him... and now I'm even more worried about meeting Eldigan and Lachesis. It's clear they're close..."

"They will adore you to bits, especially Eldigan. Lachesis might be snippy initially, because she's a little lioness who is very protective of her loved ones. Once she sees how much you love Sigurd, she'll warm up to you." Lady Ethlyn grinned, but Deirdre did not look reassured. "I mean; she did it with Alicia."

"Oh?"

"...She did?" I asked, surprised. I tried to think of my interactions with her before, but... "I know she would stare with a frown, but I was working, so I never called out." Everyone who needed me would tell me, and those who did not would leave me alone. That was how things always worked before coming here. "I think our first proper conversation was the day we were attacked by Prince Cimbaeth."

"She was watching you work to see if you were as skilled as Sigurd and I claimed," Lady Ethlyn explained, her smile now slightly apologetic. She then yelped because she had still been twirling her pen about her fingers and nearly dropped it. Deirdre and I pretended we didn't see it happen. "That's the start of it, at least."

"I will take you at your word." The wording implied there was more to it, but I decided to not ask. For all I knew, it had to do with the ridiculous rumors about Sigurd and me being romantically involved. I had no idea when those started, after all. "Regardless, I suppose I should pen my acceptance then. Should I let them know in advance I will bring both of you?"

"Yes, it's only polite. Want some help? I think it's the first you've accepted."

"Let me try on my own first, and then you can edit it."

To my surprised relief, Lady Ethlyn barely needed to edit my response, so I had to only rewrite it once and set it to the side for the ink to dry. From there, I decided to sort through the rest of the correspondence, picking one at random. This one was different from the rest, since it was paired with a package. Curious, I decided to open the package first and inside was... inside was a very beautiful, blue shawl embroidered with light blue izelles and roses. It was a good size, large enough to be worn over the shoulders or draped about my arms depending on my preference, and the darker color and design meant I could wear it with anything in my wardrobe without it looking odd. Just who was this from? Now confused, I set the shawl in my lap and opened the letter to discover it… it was from Prince Kurth.

'I am certain it is strange to receive a present from me, all things considered. But it is your birthday soon and I originally wanted to send you a present when you came of age. Eirik advised against it, worried it would draw too much attention when you were still hiding. But since you are now walking your own path, I could not check the impulse. I didn't know what medicinal supplies you would need, nor what books you already had, so I opted for this. You always wore one in Velthomer. As for the flowers, you asked the most about the izelle and roses in the garden.'

There was a little more afterwards, simple things like how he wished me well and that I would have a happy and peaceful birthday. It ended abruptly with his signature, making it all too easy for me to see how awkward he was about it. He still felt terribly guilty about how his choices had affected my life, but he had truly wanted to celebrate my birthday. So, he had taken the time to commission something he hoped I would like, would not be redundant, and would be something I could use in many situations.

"Oh, how pretty…!" Deirdre breathed, leaning over to stare at the shawl. Lady Ethlyn made a curious noise, so I set down the letter and held up the shawl for her to see as well. In the light, I could better appreciate the embroidery. It truly was beautiful. "Look at all the flowers…"

"Wow, that is pretty!" Lady Ethlyn gushed, actually standing so she could come over and look at it better. "Can I…?" She held out her hand and I passed it to her. "It's light, but it should still be warm enough for all but the chilliest of weather." She draped it over my shoulders then, and I could see another quiet indication of the care put into the gift. It did not impede my movements at all. I could wear this even while working, if need be. "It suits you!"

"It does!" Deirdre smiled at me, though there was a hint of worry, like she could since my conflicting feelings. When I smiled back, she relaxed. "Who is it from?"

"Prince Kurth, actually," I answered. I picked up the letter again and skimmed through. On a second read, the awkward shyness became more apparent. "He was a friend of my mother's." There was more I could say, more of an explanation, but I chose against it. I didn't know what to think or feel about him still. I was angry about the choices he, my mother, and Cigyun had made, but he accepted it and did not seek forgiveness or atonement. Even this present was no attempt to make amends. He had simply… he had wanted to gift me something, and did his best. "He's awkward around me because of it." That was the best summary of it. He and I were both… terribly awkward.

"I see," Deirdre murmured, glancing at the letter. I held it out to her, and she read it carefully. "How are you going to reply? The way he worded things implies he doesn't expect one, but…"

"I'm not sure." I wanted to thank him. I did. I wanted, and needed, to do that much, at least. But… "I do think… I want to know more about him." I wanted to know more about the person my mother had died to protect. I wanted to know more about the person Cigyun had loved, and the person even someone like Father Eirik respected.

"Then, you should write that, I think." Deirdre rested a hand on mine. "It's clear he cares a lot about you. Why else would the shawl be so perfectly suited for you?"

"I think so too," Lady Ethlyn agreed, leaning down to hug me. I was startled enough by the gesture to stiffen, but I made myself relax. I didn't mind it; I was just unused to it. "I can help you figure out what to write later. Might be better to mull over your words first." She had a point. Replying now would only result in an incoherent mess.

So, I reclaimed the letter from Deirdre and folded the shawl to carefully place next to it. Then, as Lady Ethlyn returned to her seat, and Deirdre switched to a different book to study, I went back to my letters. As my luck would have it, it was another oddity, though not because of the sender. Anselm thankfully was more than happy to continue sending me updates on the children despite me being in Evans now, and this was another of his letters. Yet there was not only a letter inside. When I opened it, two other folded pieces of paper fell out and when I unfolded one, I discovered it was a picture. It was a picture of someone who wore blacks and blues, with red hair and... green eyes... wait, was this me?

After staring for a moment, I unfolded the other and discovered it was another drawing. This one had more stick figures than the former, but there was more than one subject. There were two others, smaller, and each one had a giant smile drawn on their faces. Now even more confused, I found Anselm's letter and read through in hopes of finding some sort of answer.

'The children's health continues to improve by leaps and bounds and, as such, we believe they are ready to be placed in verified safe homes. Dietrich and I will continue monitoring, especially since we are still unaware of the full extent of this tragedy. Prince Kurth weighed in on the matter, requesting we involve the children in every step of the placement process, after hearing your worries. I must admit; it did not occur to me they would have felt as trapped by us as they did their former employers. But I suppose good intentions can so easily blind us to how our actions come across.'

I had to pause then, feeling a little... overwhelmed might be the best word for it. I knew I had told Prince Kurth such, and I knew he had listened, but it was still a surprise to realize he had, in fact, taken my worries seriously. He had made certain it was conveyed. I... was glad. I was glad he took me so seriously. I was glad Anselm did not feel offended either. I would... I would write to tell him I only thought of it thanks to my experience with Shannan. For now, there was more to read...

'Gabriel and Ellen will stay together. He was insistent, and she was in no hurry to leave his side. I believe he did his best to protect her in the warehouse; it matches how he watches over the other children. It was more difficult to place them because of it, of course, but Duke Arvis offered to take them in himself, so they will travel to Velthomer once Ellen's health has improved a little more. When the two learned you did not live in Velthomer, they insisted on adding their thanks to my letter. Given neither can read or write still, they opted to draw instead, and apply themselves anew to their studies so they can write it next time. I enclosed both. Gabriel's is the one just of you, while Ellen insisted on drawing all three of you.'

There was a little more, talking of the other children and where they were placed. When I reached the end, I had to set down the letter to pick up the drawings again, looking at them with fresh eyes. This... this was how Gabriel and Ellen showed their thanks? This had to be the sweetest thing anyone ever gave me.

"Hmm? Drawings?" Deirdre asked, looking over my shoulder once again. She then wordlessly squealed. "Oh, these are of you, aren't they? How adorable!"

"Yes, two of the warehouse children drew them for me," I explained softly, unable to keep the smile off my face. I had never had anyone go through so much effort to thank me before. "They're still learning to write, so they drew instead."

"That just makes them extra cute!" She giggled, delightedly clapping her hands. "We should frame and hang them somewhere."

"...Yes, we should." I smoothed them out and set them gently to the side, next to the shawl. "We'll put them in my workshop."

"Not your room?"

"I spend more time in my workshop."

"Fair point." She pointed to the drawing of three. "So, you're in the middle there. Who are the other two?"

"Hmm? Ah..." I studied the drawing again, noting the hair colors scribbled on the smaller figures. "The one with black hair must be Gabriel, while the one with yellow hair must be Ellen."

"And given the blue dots, they must have blue eyes."

"Yes?" I frowned in thought, trying to remember. "Yes, they do. Why do you ask?"

"You never describe anyone, so I was curious." She smiled, both teasing and sincere. It took me a long minute to realize she was right. I did barely pay attention to what people looked like, unless something about their appearance was particularly striking. Then again... "I suppose it's because everyone was interchangeable, since they all treated you the same."

"Yes, I suppose they were." I had no names for the people I spent my life around. They all ignored me when I wasn't useful, badgered me when they needed my skills. They were all... faceless to me. "I suppose you'll need to prompt me if you want to know; I'll do my best to remember."

"I will." She beamed at me. "I promise."

"By the way, do you need help with your studying?"

"No, but I think I am at the point where everything blends together." She made a face; I muffled a laugh. "I'm going to keep trying for now, though." To emphasize her point, she leaned back in her comfortable chair and applied herself anew.

I muffled another laugh, mostly at how adorable it was she took her studies so seriously, and returned to the letters. The next one came from a surprising source: Dietrich. He had never written to me before now, so I wondered why he would. The answer became terribly clear within the first few lines.

'I apologize for contacting you out of the blue, Lady Alicia, and I ask you do not inform your lord brother of this missive. He did not wish to trouble you further with news of the investigation into the warehouses, but considering all you have done for the children, including writing Gabriel's own testimony, I felt it was a disservice to not keep you abreast of the situation. More to the point, there is an avenue of investigation I believe you can help me with.'

...It did not surprise me Arvis did not want me to hear more about the investigation. He was always protective, and it was clear this would be a very messy investigation. It was like cutting away gangrene, leaving only a raw and oozing wound which could easily infect. Anyone and everyone in connection was likely in some danger, from physical retaliation to plummeting public opinion. He would want me to stay away, so I was not dragged into the mess. Yet here Dietrich was, writing me behind his back, because he truly felt I should know and could still help.

'A recent raid on another warehouse turned up an unexpected clue. I regret to say no children were found within. It appeared they were... already sold off. Whoever was last there, however, failed to clean up properly. They tried to burn a letter, but in their haste, did not ensure it had fully burned. Thus, we recovered a small portion. The scrap had minimal information, but mentioned Chalphy's port.'

I had to pause there, both because my heart keened about the children and to wrap my mind behind the last sentence. It was terrible how much it made sense. Chalphy's port was Grannvale's main connection to Miletos, the mercantile nation of Jugdral. It wasn't founded by a Crusader, but its location made it vital for many trade routes and, thus, the country was home to many booming markets. Consequently, it also had a reputation of putting a price on everything, including the less than legal. Anything and everything could be found in its markets, for the right price. Given how Arvis told me the warehouses would sell its child workers into slavery and worse, it only made sense for Miletos's black markets to be involved.

'I intend to investigate further, but I fear I must limit who is involved. Given how extensive this is and how quickly the raided warehouse was 'cleaned', I have to wonder if some of my own guards are involved. Thus, the favor I mentioned. Might you inform Lord Sigurd of this possibility? It is my hope we can cooperate and gain more information, without tipping our hand.'

So, that was it. He wished for me to serve as a link between him and Sigurd to widen their net. It was simple enough; the hardest part would be to convince Sigurd to not go to the port himself. I folded the letter carefully and tucked it under the shawl to keep it hidden. If Dietrich was being watched as he feared, then it might be suspicious if I replied right away. I would bring it up to Sigurd in the coming days, and we would move from there.

In the meantime, I still had more letters to look through, so I picked up the next to read. I discovered I had been wrong; I had one more invitation. But it looked different from the others, so I didn't recognize it immediately as such. It was a single piece of paper, decorated beautifully with drawings of leaves, and in the middle was a date and the mention of a 'naming ceremony'. On the back, I found a little note signed by both Zaya and Sarnai. The message was simple: a wish to invite me to the ceremony.

"Hmm? That's a pretty letter," Deirdre noted, leaning over curiously. Suppressing a laugh at how she clearly had given up on studying for the morning, I passed it to her and she gasped. "Oh! A naming ceremony! It's a big honor to be invited. There's usually a public party to celebrate, but the ceremony itself is reserved for immediate family and those the parents highly respect and cherish!"

"I see," I murmured, looking back at the invitation. Yes, this made sense based on what Sarnai told me, but why would they invite me? I had no idea. Yet, at the same time, I... I was both honored and touched. "I... should definitely attend, then." A quick look at the date again proved they had also given me plenty of time to make arrangements. "Do... do I need to make a gift?" What was the protocol here? What was polite?

"It's not necessary, but no one will refuse either. After all, while the most important part is giving the baby a name, it is also their birthday." This was true, but what could I give? "Maybe a blanket? It suits your more practical nature." Deirdre giggled, beaming as if she were the one invited. Lady Ethlyn glanced at us in confusion, no doubt wondering what we were talking about. She, after all, had been busy with her own letters.

"Yes, I do have some practice in making blankets." Maybe I could even make a quilt? "I will need cloth for it, and a pattern."

"Sounds like another shopping trip." Deirdre clapped her hands together in delight and turned to Lady Ethlyn, who still looked confused. "What do you think?"

"I have no idea what you two are talking about, but I'm always up for shopping," Lady Ethlyn declared, setting her pen down. She then hopped to her feet and stretched her arms high above her head with a little squeak. "So, what's the cloth for?"

"It will be for a blanket," I explained, biting back a laugh at how easily she agreed. Yet a thought wormed its way into my head and replaced my mirth with anxiety. "...Say, Lady Ethlyn?"

"Hmm?"

"Would you...?" This had to be too forward, but her curious look prompted me anyway. "Would you like me to make a blanket for Altena as well?"

"Eh?" She stared for a moment, and an apology bubbled to my lips. But then she smiled as brightly as the sun. "Oh, that sounds wonderful, Lady Alicia!"

"Then I had best buy plenty of cloth, then."

This was how, hours later, the three of us were still in the market, looking at cloths of various materials and colors to determine the absolute best for my purposes. Though I felt it was too long, I couldn't be mad. Both Deirdre and Lady Ethlyn smiled the entire time, and I had to admit it was fun thinking of what patterns to use. Sewing things for others... was much more enjoyable than I ever could I have thought.

---

Eventually, the day of the tournament arrived, with far more participants than expected. Esen and Sigurd had expected maybe a handful, just enough to make things 'exciting' and all veterans of the Verdane Campaign. We ended up with many, many more, from our former soldiers to our knights to those who simply wanted to test their mettle to wandering mercenaries. As a result, it ended up being far more festive than originally planned, and everyone scrambled with decorations and whatnot.

As the primary healer for the castle, I was not involved in any of the decorating. My job for the day was double and triple checking every safety protocol alongside Esen and Sigurd. Then, once we were all satisfied, Esen left to go on a date with his fiance, and Sigurd headed to the private balcony where he could watch the matches away from the crowd, high above everything. I had originally planned on returning to the castle, but Deirdre somehow managed to convince me to stay. I still wasn't certain how, but if I had to guess, I was certain it had something to do with Shannan. The four of us were watching together, after all, since Ayra was participating and, thus, could not keep an eye on him.

"Lady Alicia, do you need anything?" Technically speaking, Lord Oifeye was also with us, but it was easy to 'forget' since he'd spent so much time rushing about. It all started with Deirdre absently mentioning she was thirsty and somehow turned into him fetching food and drink for us. "Do you need more water?" he asked me earnestly, frowning over my not-quite-full glass. "I can..."

"Lord Oifeye, I assure you, I am fine," I replied, flipping through my book. Sigurd caved and gave me one of the medical books from Miletos before my birthday, and I eagerly read through. "You should sit down."

"But you're sitting so far back..."

"That is by choice." It was bad enough I could hear the fighting; I didn't want to see it.

"Still..."

"Oifeye, am I going to have to order you to rest?" Sigurd teased, reaching back from his own seat to ruffle Lord Oifeye's hair. He and Deirdre sat to watch, while Shannan enjoyed watching from the railing despite having his own seat. Mine should have been with theirs, but Sigurd had kindly moved it back for me despite how heavy they were. ...Then again, maybe the chairs weren't heavy for a Baldr Major. "Then again, perhaps that is as useless as telling Alicia to stop working."

"I'm not working; I'm studying," I corrected, smiling a sweet and patient smile. I did try to nudge Lord Oifeye to his seat, and wondered if we would have had this trouble if Prince Quan or Lady Ethlyn were with us. Neither were; they were having a picnic with Altena. Sir Arden was in the crowd, ready to intervene at a moment's notice if something went wrong during a match, while Sir Alex and Sir Naoise both participated. "Do you want me to rush down for every bruise?"

"We already agreed you shouldn't."

"Then I'm studying."

"Do you want me to hold your hand, Alicia?" Deirdre offered, twisting in her seat to peer at me worriedly. "I'm sure it's difficult to simply let people get hurt when you're a healer."

"It… is, but Sigurd and I both agreed I shouldn't coddle them," I replied, giving Sigurd a look. Sigurd simply smiled back, because it had been quite the lengthy 'discussion'. But I yielded to his own experiences, something about competitors comparing injuries. "However, I fear I must refuse your offer. I will likely drag you with me."

"I see." She was thoughtful for a moment before turning to Lord Oifeye. "Still, Sigurd is right, Oifeye. You should rest. I would dare say we have enough snacks and drinks to last the rest of the tournament. Where did they even come from? Please tell me you did not run back to the castle for them."

"Hmm? Ah, some are selling directly to the spectators, Lady Deirdre," Lord Oifeye answered with a slight smile. He did, reluctantly, sit in his chair, next to Sigurd. Shannan's chair was beside Deirdre's, where mine had been before it was moved. "I bought them there."

"Oh, how clever. But this only emphasizes my point we'll be fine. So..."

The crowd below suddenly roared in excitement, and all of us turned our attention to the arena. I had to sit up straighter to see, but it soon became clear why. Sir Naoise was fighting against a blonde-haired swordsman and was losing. Badly. The crowd's excitement was due to how easily and efficiently a trained knight was overwhelmed.

"Who is that?" Deirdre asked curiously, watching with a frown. In the time it took her to ask the question, the match ended in the swordsman's victory. "He's strong."

"He is, indeed," Sigurd agreed, smiling good-naturedly. His gaze, however, was focused, studying the one who so easily defeated one of his own knights. "To deal with Naoise so quickly... I should see about hiring him."

"Oh?" Deirdre's frown deepened for a moment, but Sigurd glanced at me for some reason and she suddenly smiled. "Oh. Yes, I think that would be a good idea too."

I thought about asking, wondering what I had missed, but the words dried up when the swordsman looked up at our balcony as he exited the arena. I wouldn't have thought anything about it, except his gaze... it fixed on Shannan. He did not look at the rest of us, only Shannan. Why? Was it because having a child up here looked odd? Was it something else? I...

"Shannan?" I called softly, settling back in my chair. Immediately, he left the railing to skip to my side, smiling at me. "I'm sorry, but might you stay near me?"

"I won't fall!" Shannan immediately promised. I hadn't thought about the possibility until then, truthfully, since Sigurd kept him within arm's reach. "We're pretty high, yes, but I'm safe."

"I'm certain, but if this match proves anything..." I needed to word this carefully. "I fear I may not be able to keep my promise to Sigurd during the later matches, if all of them are this intense."

"Ooooohhh, you want me to help make sure you don't slip away!" He grinned, laughing all the while. I smiled, pretending he was right. In truth, I simply wanted him a little more hidden. I doubted any would harm him, especially with Sigurd and Deirdre here, but it made me feel better. "I can do that. I think." He then climbed onto my chair to perch on the arm. "And I can see just fine, so we're good. Anyway, Deirdre, did I tell you about the kittens I saw in the garden? I asked around and found out they belong to one of the mousers!"

The tournament continued on and on just like that, with all the various matches and plenty of breaks in between for the competitors. I studied through it all, fascinated by how Miletos's medicinal texts actually took into account how near everything could be found in their markets. It was to the point it listed which sections of the various markets carried which herbs, in addition to where they were found in nature. So caught up in my reading as I was, I did not keep track of the fighting in the slightest until Shannan gasped in surprise and nearly fell back into my lap.

"Sorry!" Shannan yelped, doing his best to right himself. I supported his back and shoulders and Deirdre quickly came over to help. "I just... I didn't think anyone could beat Lex with weapons. He's got Nal blood!"

"Even the strongest shields can be chipped away, Shannan," Deirdre whispered, holding his hands to make sure he was steady. Even then, she kept an eye on the arena. "Lex did last the longest against that man. I'm certain he's mildly frustrated at worst."

"Maybe..." He frowned a little more before shrugging. "Well, I guess it makes it easier to choose who to cheer for during the final match."

"Oh, are we already at the finals?" I asked, looking to the field. I wasn't surprised to see the same blonde-haired swordsman who had defeated Naoise walking off. "I see our mysterious swordsman is one of them. Who is the other?"

"Lady Ayra," Lord Oifeye answered, hopping onto his feet. At first, I worried he was about to run errands again, but this time, he only stretched. "She defeated Alec in the last match, after beating Finn."

"Ah." Right, Finn had also been participating. Dew had stayed out of it, and remained in the castle to practice his reading and writing.

"Finn did well to last as long as he did," Sigurd noted with a laugh, standing to stretch as well. He kept one eye on the swordsman until he left the field. "I can't wait to tell Quan. He'll be ridiculously proud."

"No, no, he'll be properly proud," Deirdre 'corrected', laughing softly. Though Shannan was balanced again, she still held his hands. "Finn will only think it is 'ridiculous'."

"Fair, fair. He and Oifeye are the same in that regard."

"Lord Sigurd!" Oifeye immediately yelped, flushing from embarrassment. His reaction sparked laughter from both Sigurd and Deirdre. "That is... I mean..." Though it was terrible of me, I couldn't help but muffle my own laugh at how flustered he was. "D-does anyone need anything before the final match?"

No one did, of course, so instead, everyone settled in and waited for the fighting to resume. I didn't pay attention once the match started. I focused on my studying, as I had during the previous. The only times I looked up were to support Shannan when he nearly fell off the arm of my chair, fixated as he was on the fight. So, it came as a surprise when the general air of excitement suddenly burst with gasps and shouts of shock. I looked up, wondering what was wrong, and saw red. Blood. There was blood. The blonde swordsman... he was bleeding, yet he still kept fighting. He and Ayra continued their long, brutal slog of a fight, a steady trail of blood marking their path.

"Aunt Ayra accidentally used Astra," Shannan breathed, watching the continued fight with bated breath. He barely looked away even when all four of us frowned at him in confusion. "That's what we call it, the power of stars Hnoss received from Zorza of the Skies. I'm... I'm still learning, but its power allows us to strike as fast as a shooting star, five attacks in the space of one swing. But because of the speed, it'll draw blood even with blunted weapons." Well, that answered one of the many questions I had.

"You say 'accidentally', Shannan, but you really mean 'instinctually', don't you?" Sigurd asked, pushing himself up. He then walked over to stand behind me and rested his hands on my shoulders. 'Wait'. He wanted me to wait. "Ayra told me a little about it, mostly explaining how she knew she wasn't at full strength yet. She said the ability required a certain mindset and a great amount of skill."

"Yes, and Father always says we are to use it only against difficult foes. We should not use it on a whim, but only when we fear our lives or the lives of those we protect are at risk." So, did the swordsman go at Ayra with killing intent or was he simply skilled enough she instinctively feared for her life, even if logically she knew she was safe? "Weird that there's not as much blood as usual." There was a long beat of silence. "It's... it's five strikes, and Aunt Ayra is skilled. There's usually more blood."

"Mmm... yes, I think I see your meaning," Lord Oifeye murmured, walking over to the railing to better see the fight. It was still going. "They're moving fast, so it's a little difficult to tell, but based on the blood trail, there's only two sources. He only has two bleeding injuries." So, did only two of those 'super-fast' five strikes hit or did he have hidden injuries? "With all that said, my lord..."

"I already signaled Arden," Sigurd answered, squeezing my shoulders reassuringly before reaching down to take my book from me. It was only then I realized how tense I was. "We'll hear it soon. My dear, can you fetch Alicia a staff?"

Deirdre did, in fact, find a staff for me. I didn't know where or how, but she did. So, when Sir Arden declared the final match a tie, I was able to leave immediately, not bothering to linger as the crowd roared in approval, and Sigurd gave some sort of closing speech. Instead, I walked briskly through the halls, staff in hand. No one stopped me; the few wandering the halls even pointed me to the right path. They knew, after all, why I would be here and not in the castle. So, it thankfully did not take me long at all to find the 'waiting area' for the combatants, where they could rest yet still watch the field. It also did not take me long to find the bleeding swordsman. I did wish I didn't find him in the middle of an argument with Ayra, though.

"How did you dodge?" she snapped, face like a thundercloud. It added a force to her words, despite how out of breath she was. "How?"

"The same way I dodge any other attack, obviously," the swordsman replied drolly, his expression locked in irritable stoicism. Ayra noticeably bristled. "However, I believe there's something else to be said about using such an attack during a 'no-death-blows' tournament."

"I... er..." Ayra looked away in shame. "I... I apologize. You're right; it shouldn't have been used. It was not long ago I had to fight for my life regularly and my instincts ran away from me."

"Yes, it can be hard to fight against it when you've no practice at it." The swordsman shrugged, bringing up an arm to examine his still bleeding injury. The other was along his collarbone. "So, it's no surprise it happened to you." Ayra immediately scowled once more, and all I could think was how this man was as skilled with playing her moods as he was with a blade. "Are we blocking your way, miss?" He glanced down the hall then, right at me. How long had he'd known I was here?

"What are you... Alicia?!" Ayra yelped, startled by my appearance. "What are you... oh, wait, of course, you're here to treat him. I saw you up on the balcony."

"Treat?"

"This is Alicia, our healer." She sighed gustily, shaking her head. "Ugh, my head must be a mess if that wasn't the first thing I thought of. I should be more surprised you weren't here to meet us."

"Sigurd had me wait until the match was called, so Deirdre had time to grab a staff for me," I explained, cautiously stepping closer. The swordsman's expression did not change, yet there was something much more piercing to his gaze now. I couldn't describe how, but I was certain of it. In fact, the only description I had was a phrase from the story Deirdre liked so much: 'I felt like prey before a predator, one deciding if I was worth the time to hunt.' "Might I see your arm, sir?" Still, no matter how I felt, this was no reason to withhold care. He was injured, so I would treat him. It was as simple as that.

The swordsman stared through me a second longer before inclining his head. "It's Chulainn, and there's no title with it," he replied, obediently holding out his arm. I immediately went to work, noticing it was a shallow, if messy, cut. "You're the one who was reading through the matches."

"I did not realize I stood out so much."

"Who else has bright red hair in this crowd?" He... had a point.

"Alicia, you were reading? Really?" Ayra asked dryly then, not actually surprised despite the words. She sighed heavily when I only smiled at her. "Of course you did. Bet it was a medicinal text as well." There was... nothing to say to that, so I healed Chulainn's arm and moved to inspect the injury on his collarbone. "What am I to do with you?"

"Seems you're rather close to this group," Chulainn commented, his attention back on Ayra. Yet even then, I had a feeling he was keeping an eye on me. "Explains the fierceness behind your strikes. You're fighting for more than glory."

"I... well, yes?" Ayra grimaced a little, since she didn't have the words she wanted. "I joined the tournament to see how well my condition has improved. From there, I can tailor my training to shore up my weaknesses and boost my strengths. I... I wish to fight for Sigurd with all I am."

"I see." A very, very slight smile appeared on his face. I might not have noticed it if I were not standing right next to him. "Perhaps I should meet with him and see just how grand he must be, to win the loyalty of an Isaachian."

"I can't tell if you're mocking me or not." She scowled, but shrugged. "I'll introduce you. You can decide from there." Chulainn only nodded. "Regardless, Alicia, please tell me you did not come down here without an escort." I actually paused in my healing to give her an incredulous look, and she scowled. "What? You have the worst of luck when it comes to trouble."

"Ayra, who would attack me here?" I asked, even as I went back to healing Chulainn. The one on his collarbone was just as shallow as the one on his arm, but its placement made the healing a little trickier. "You worry too much."

"I think I worry enough," Ayra grumbled, crossing her arms. I could only shake my head. "All right, so Chulainn, I'll need to escort her first, and then I'll take you to Sigurd."

"Ayra, I will be fine returning to the castle myself."

"You keep tempting fate, and refuse to learn how to defend yourself. So, no, I'm escorting you."

"Ayra!"

Despite my continued protests, Ayra refused to yield. Chulainn watched... no, he studied us both impassively and did not say one word, even when Ayra finally won the argument and walked with me back to the castle. Later, I learned Sigurd hired him on the spot after a short conversation. No one was surprised, and quite a few even welcomed the new addition to our little group. I hoped he'd get along with everyone; I knew how strange they could seem to those unused to their friendliness, after all.

---

Some things never changed. Even though the army had officially dissolved, Sigurd and I continued to meet in the mornings. Now, though, the meetings were informal, sharing stories and information so we could keep everything running smoothly in Evans. Everyone knew we kept the habit, so it also served as the perfect opportunity to tell Sigurd about Dietrich's request.

"We heard a little about the warehouse scandal down here thanks to gossip, but this..." Sigurd hissed, his hand shaking as he gripped the letter. For convenience, I had asked him to read Dietrich's letter. "Of course, these dastards used our port."

"You know; I think I agree with Quan. You can use stronger language for those you dislike," I replied, purposely keeping my tone light as I handed him some tea. His slight smile, and noticeable relaxation, told me it had the intended effect. "Why hold back?"

"I'm building good habits." He sighed and made a face. Then he let the letter drop on his desk so he could lean back in his chair and drink his tea. "More seriously, there is no word strong enough for my feelings, so I might as well have a little fun with it. This time, at least." Yes, last time... well, he never admitted it to me, but I still thought he'd pushed down his anger at Prince Munnir to also push down his fears for Lady Edain's safety. "Regardless, if he wishes for information, I will gladly lend all my aid."

"You cannot go to the port yourself."

"I... oh, fine." He sulked for all of a second before chuckling. "Even if I think of a reasonable excuse, my presence and reputation might cause them to bolt, won't they?"

"Unfortunately, I think so."

"I cannot deny being tempted, but if you say to hold back, I shall." He set down his mug and scribbled something down. "I'll task Alec with it. He's been complaining about having too little to do."

"I'll let Dietrich know then." I muffled a laugh. "Still, has he truly been complaining? From what I hear, Sir Alec is very busy charming all the ladies in town."

"No, that's not work for him. It's just fun and completely natural." Sigurd did his best to say it all with the most serious of tones, but laughter broke through by the end. "More seriously, I need to throw work at him before I get angry fathers demanding I force a marriage on him."

"The way you say it makes me wonder if you've already had to deal with something similar."

"Thankfully, it was a case of a lookalike, and I knew because on the day of the supposed encounter, Alec was helping me. It was still a very interesting day, and his brother swears to lecture him if he ever does end up married because of his habits." He might have continued, but someone knocked on the door then, and both of us stiffened. Very few would interrupt these morning meetings. "Yes?" Sigurd quickly flipped his note over to hide the words. "Who is it?"

"Sorry to bother..." Ayra carefully opened the door to peek inside. "This isn't important, so I can come back later if I'm interrupting," she continued, looking between Sigurd and me. "I know you two still discuss things in the morning. I thought you'd be done by now."

"No, at the moment, Sigurd was telling me how Alec is going to fall into serious trouble if his flirtations don't stop soon," I answered, careful to speak only the truth. Sigurd helpfully groaned at the 'reminder', and Ayra rolled her eyes, hinting she knew well what I was talking about. "Do I need to step away?"

"No, like I said, it's not important. It's only something I wanted to say before I forgot." She walked in then, closing the door behind her. "It's about Chulainn."

"Chulainn?" Sigurd repeated, sitting back in his chair once more to drink his tea. I pointed to the pot to silently ask Ayra if she wanted a cup herself, but she shook her head. "Has there been a problem?"

"Not at all, and this isn't anything bad either," she explained, fussing with the hair by her face. She wore a slight frown, but it seemed more thoughtful than annoyed. "He has death's eyes." ...Sigurd and I could only stare blankly at her in return. "Which apparently is not a phrase Grannvale has. All right, how to explain...?" She fell silent, winding a lock around her finger. "It's... people with death's eyes are... neutral to it. They do not revel in killing, but neither do they fear or detest it. They kill without thought not because it is something they enjoy, but because it's another task. Another duty. At worst, they will view it as a particularly burdensome chore. At best, they don't think about it any more than they do breathing."

"So, for them, killing is about efficiency more than anything? They will kill without flinching, but do not go out of their way to kill either?"

"Yes. Morena of Death may be the kindest of the fairies, but she is also the most dutiful. This is why death is inevitable, because she never shirks. She always performs her task, with neither mercy nor fervor, because death is a natural part of the world. It is what gives life its meaning, from joys to sorrows." While all of this was very true, as a healer, I felt an instinctual urge to protest somehow. "So, those with her eyes view death the same. A duty. A necessity. Nothing more and nothing less."

"So, any regrets with killing would be related more to orders and effort, not emotions." He paused to drink his tea, thinking. "How would such people be as a guard?" Hmm?

"In my experience? Perfect. The captain of our royal guard, Bran, has them. He's one of those who was born with them, instead of gaining it as he grew older after... well, most who gain them do so only after trauma." Ayra glanced at me then, with a little smile. "He'd be an excellent guard for Alicia." ...In retrospect, I should've guessed this was why Sigurd asked a whole lot sooner. This must be how he got Deirdre to agree about hiring him during the matches themselves. "Especially since she would probably try to heal the person trying to kill her." I couldn't decide if I should be offended or not, but I was leaning towards 'yes'. Yes, I did try to heal a supposed assassin back in Velthomer, but they didn't know that. I think. "The only reason I'm bringing it up, Sigurd, is because you lean towards mercy. Most of us, especially your knights, are aware of this and accommodate, but he will always choose what is most efficient for his given orders. You'll have to tell him directly if you're planning to, say, capture instead of kill. That's all." She paused, frowning at me suddenly. "Though, even with a guard, I still think you should learn some form of self-defense, Alicia."

"You can have fun; I gave up on the argument." He didn't exactly try very hard. Then again, he'd listened when I explained why I refused and didn't press. "I think she's the most stubborn person in the army."

"I'm right here," I 'reminded' both of them, partly out of irritation and partly to prevent them from continuing on the topic. I did not want to fight; I did not want to learn. I would not hurt another person. I would not be like my father. "Regardless, how long have you been planning to make Chulainn my guard?"

"Since we saw him beat Naoise," Sigurd admitted easily. I was right; this was why Deirdre had suddenly smiled then. "I have been looking for a dedicated guard for you already. I actually got a letter from Ring all but demanding it." Maybe they did know about the assassin then. "The problem is everyone has their own duties. Only Lex and Ayra would potentially have the freedom to guard you. Yet for all his defensive capabilities, Lex is a front-line fighter first and foremost. His fighting style relies on his Nal blood to allow for otherwise reckless attacks, a tactic not conductive towards protecting someone. As for Ayra..."

"I normally wouldn't mind, and certainly insist on being the backup if Chulainn has to step away, but I'll also be the first to admit that I am not one to stand back when there's a fight," Ayra answered for herself, her smile both wry and sheepish. Still, there was no shame in it. "I may not be mounted, but I will still rush into the fray. All the more so because Lex is a reckless idiot, and Sigurd is almost as bad."

"I am not!"

"Sigurd, you invaded a country to save a childhood friend."

"And hostages!"

"While severely outnumbered."

"I... well..." Sigurd had no retort to that, so he decided to keep silent and sip his tea. I couldn't help but muffle a laugh. "Regardless, neither are suited. So, I decided it was best to hire one specifically for the task." He smiled then. "And now I can write back Ring and Prince Kurth I have found one."

"...Prince Kurth also wrote to you about it?" I asked softly, my mood dropping like a stone. I wasn't certain if I was grateful or frustrated both Ayra and Sigurd frowned worriedly at me, instantly recognizing my drooping mood. "I must admit; I'm a little surprised."

"He didn't demand it like Ring, but he did slip it in alongside his relief we were not too worse for wear given the battles here," Sigurd explained gently. He set down his mug and stood so he could rest a hand on my back. I could tell he was kicking himself for letting this slip. "Even then, it was more him asking if I was."

"I see."

"Is it... a good thing or bad thing he asked?" Ayra asked, her own tone soft. It was even hesitant. "You don't have to explain if you don't want to, of course but..."

"I fear I don't have an answer, Ayra" I admitted, looking down. It was hard to admit it, but with Sigurd near, it was easier. Everything was easier when he was around. "He's the one who hid me in Yngvi, to keep me safe, but..."

"You both love and hate him, don't you?" I... that was certainly a way to summarize it. It might even be the truth. For now, it remained a tangled knot in my heart. "So, your heart is torn. No matter what logic says, it doesn't take away your pain. Yet the logic still insists." She said it so easily, and I had to wonder if it reflected her own feelings for Grannvale. "Is that close?"

"It's closer than what my head has been saying. I've settled on 'awkward'." I made myself look up so I could smile at her; her answering one was soft with understanding. "I suppose it does make sense he asked about it. My safety has always been a priority for him."

"Then, for right now, how about you take it as that and think no more about it?" Sigurd suggested kindly. After a moment of thought, I nodded. I still needed to reply to Prince Kurth's letter, though. This only reminded me I kept putting it off. "As it stands, I should probably tell Chulainn about his job now that he's settled in. Want to come along?"

I decided to do so, since I would be his charge, and Ayra tagged along since she had nothing else to do. It took us a minute to actually find Chulainn, since he was people-watching on the ramparts, but once we found him, it didn't take long for Sigurd to explain. He accepted without any protests, his stoicism not relenting in the slightest, and he more or less slipped into the job immediately, following me back to my workshop.

"I'm told Sir Arden gave you a tour of the castle already, but this is my workshop," I explained, gesturing at the room as we stepped inside. Someone, likely Dew, had set up all my medicine making supplies already, so I could work as soon as I got back. "I usually spend most of my time here, so I apologize if you get bored." How was one supposed to act around a guard anyway?

"It's fine; guard work is usually boring," Chulainn answered, perfectly blunt and no-nonsense. He barely even paid attention to the answer, busy as he was studying every speck of the room. Eventually, his eyes turned to the door in the back corner. "That is...?"

"It's the storage. Since some of my medicines and herbs are quite dangerous if misused, I limit how many can access them." I opened it to show him, and he actually walked inside to look around. "Is guard work truly boring?"

"Yes, and you hope that it is. Excitement usually means something went wrong."

"Oh, so it's like being a healer then." I remembered a conversation I had with Lord Oifeye, back in the abandoned church we used before arriving in Evans. "If things are quiet, then in theory, everything is well. No one is injured to the point they need your immediate aid."

"When you put it that way, I suppose you're right." He turned back to me, shrugging. "Besides, I doubt this will be the most boring guard job I had. From what Ayra said, you fall into trouble a lot." Ayra, just how many people did you complain to? "And I had to guard a wooden display a few times."

"You..." Though part of me was still annoyed at Ayra, I had to say the statement fully distracted me from protesting. "Why would you need to guard that? Vandalism?"

"Arson, actually. But otherwise, yes." He shrugged off my skeptical look. "It was a small town in Silesse, and the display was built yearly as part of their Year's End festivities. Originally, it was a simple thing, but somehow or another, it turned into a strange competition where the town leaders would do everything they could to protect the display until the end of the holiday, while the populace did everything they could to destroy the thing at least once." Why in the world would anyone do that? "Fire was most common, but I think someone drove a cart into it one year." I had to admit if anyone else had told me this, I doubted I would believe them. But like Lex, Chulainn gave off an air of honesty, so I felt I had no choice, despite how ridiculous it was.

"Well, no one has set this castle on fire yet. Marpha was the one set aflame."

He didn't reply, so I didn't try to keep up the conversation. Instead, I tried to work, but it was... it wasn't uncomfortable, but it wasn't comfortable either, having him stand around while I made medicines. Usually, when someone else was here, they were asking me questions or telling me about their day. Chulainn, however, was perfectly silent and still, choosing to lean against the wall, and now, I was no longer used to such silence. I was used to the chatter, loved it even. Yet, at the same time, I knew nothing about him. How could I start a conversation? What sort of topic would he like to discuss? If he was interested in the medicines, he would've already asked. Should I ask more about the display he mentioned? Would it be rude? I didn't know, but the silence was slowly driving me mad. It was amazing how a few short months could change so much of my life, but right now, it was a hindrance. I was focused more on the lack of sound than I was on my medicines, and that was unacceptable.

Around the time I was about to blurt the first thing on my mind, Chulainn suddenly moved to the door. "What is it?" I asked, surprised. Was someone running here? Did something happen?

"There's a group approaching, but there's no haste to their steps," he answered, peering around the frame. After a moment, he shrugged, apparently reassured there was no threat. "Ah, it's the four young ones."

"Oh?" Curious despite myself, I stood up to peek out too. Just as he said, our youngest four were clustered a short distance away, talking quietly. "Now what brings them near? They don't have a lesson today, and if they were injured, they would've come straight in."

"Does that happen often?"

"Injuries? No, they are thankfully few since the fighting ended. But I do ask everyone to come straight to me if they are injured, since it is better to treat things sooner rather than later."

"I see." He nodded to the four then. "They're discussing you. Sort of."

"Hmm?" Confused by his statement, I waited for him to say more. When he didn't, I had to settle for straining my ears to satisfy my curiosity. Thankfully, the four of them spoke just loudly enough for me to hear.

"I want to confirm," Shannan was saying, looking very cross about something. Based on how Finn, Dew, and Lord Oifeye clustered around him, it seemed this impromptu meeting was his doing. "Chulainn is her guard now, right?" He already knew? Did Ayra tell him? "I want to see."

"Shannan, it's weird you're so hung up on this," Dew replied with a little exasperated sigh. Unlike Finn and Lord Oifeye, who were curious, he looked annoyed. I wondered if he'd been in the middle of a prank before being dragged here. "You got a crush or something on Alicia?"

"Don't be weird." Now he was definitely in a foul mood. "Alicia's like a mother." That one sentence, though, made me freeze. A mother? Me? That... that was ridiculous. I would pity any child with a mother like me. I... I would be the absolute worst!

"A mother? Alicia?" Finn repeated, noticeably surprised. I was glad someone recognized the sheer absurdity of- "I can see it, but I think 'sister' fits more."

"Maybe?" Shannan admitted, now more thoughtful than cross. "She reminds me of my vague memories of Mother, so I still think it's more 'mother'."

"Perhaps a motherly sister?" Dew suggested, smashing the two ideas together. Lord Oifeye, surprisingly, remained silent throughout the conversation. He even looked uncomfortable. "It would fit her age relative to us anyway." There was a long pause then. "Wait, how did we get on this topic?"

"You made things weird," Shannan answered with perfect honesty. He grinned to show no hard feelings, and Dew rolled his eyes. Finn bit back a laugh, and Lord Oifeye smiled awkwardly. "But anyway, I want to see if he's helping and if Alicia's all right with all of it. I know he's skilled in battle and all, but she's sure to feel weird if he stands around and doesn't talk. Like how she tries not to fidget when someone tells her she can't work and she doesn't know what to do."

"While that is a fair point, standing guard is an important duty," Lord Oifeye pointed out, speaking up at last. "I know from Arden it means being vigilant even when you really want to fall asleep, among other things. It also means concentrating more on what is going on outside your immediate vicinity, instead of what's in front of you. If he helped with things like medicine or sewing or inventory, he could potentially miss a threat to Lady Alicia."

"Mmm... I guess that's true..." Shannan reached over to poke Lord Oifeye's side. "Also, why do you still use a title with her? The rest of us don't." Yes, Dew had successfully negotiated the dropping of titles not long after I returned from Velthomer.

"B-because it's proper! She outranks me!"

"And?"

"A-and…"

"It is also a demonstration of respect, Shannan," Finn explained, saving the quickly-becoming-flustered Lord Oifeye. Lord Oifeye shot him a grateful look. "He does the same for Lord Sigurd and Lady Ethlyn, despite growing up with them."

"Respect makes more sense to me than manners," Dew helpfully added, clasping his hands behind his head in a very relaxed pose. He even grinned, with none of his original annoyance in sight. "Then again, manners don't make any sense to me. Feels like outside of basics, it's there to make talking to people harder."

"Imagine trying to learn etiquette for different kingdoms. The Munster District is made up of four allied kingdoms and each has their own."

"Blech!"

At this point, I finally unfroze from the 'mother' comment and decided to call out, "boys?" All four yelped and whirled to see Chulainn and I in the doorway. None of them had noticed a thing. "Is everything all right?" I continued, pretending I hadn't been terrible and eavesdropped on them. "None of you are hurt, are you?"

"No, we're fine, Alicia," Finn answered, recovering first. He even smiled in an attempt to distract how the others were still flustered. "Ah, but is there anything we can help with? Our lessons ended early, you see. Lord Sigurd assigned a task to Alec." Sigurd wasn't wasting any time, it seems.

"There's always things I need help with." I smiled and waved them inside. "I'll set up some tea while we work."

The best way to pretend I didn't hear anything they said was to go about everything as usual. I was just glad the four were all eager to chatter as we worked. It truly made everything better.

---

A week after Chulainn became my guard, Ethlyn, Deirdre and I went to a tea party. Chulainn was forced to tag along, despite my initial arguments. I feared he'd be bored, but Sigurd pointed out a guard needed to be near his charge to do his job. Chulainn himself didn't say anything for or against it. He'd simply gone with it.

"Oh, welcome, welcome!" This was how the four of us ended up at the home of Count Hallr and his wife, and our hostess, Countess Saldis. "It is so very good to see you again, Lady Ethlyn," she greeted, her tone as warm as it was sincere. Remembering what Deirdre had mentioned, I tried to make an effort to note her appearance. She was a little older than us, mid-twenties perhaps, with brown hair and gray eyes. She was dressed in an elegant, yet simple gown, highlighting how informal this affair was. "And Lady Alicia, you look as lovely as you did at the Festival of Flowers." She turned her warm smile my way, and I made an effort to smile back. I still wasn't comfortable with this, but I had to admit it was already better than the ball. "Goodness, what a pretty shawl."

"Thank you, Countess," I murmured, clutching it a little. I hadn't planned on it, but while we were getting ready, I found myself reaching for the shawl Prince Kurth had given me, so I had chosen to wear it. It was warm and strangely comforting, even if it was a reminder I still needed to reply. "Ah, but before I forget..." I gestured to Deirdre, who did her best to smile despite her visible nerves. "This is Deirdre. I believe I told you she would attend with Lady Ethlyn and me."

"So, this is Lord Sigurd's fiance?" Her gaze sharpened, and I stiffened automatically, ready to protect Deirdre if need be. Yet, before long, she relaxed back into the bright and warm smile. "My, my! I knew you had to be a beauty, Lady Deirdre, to catch Lord Sigurd's eye, but you are beyond any chance of expectation!"

"I... um... thank you, Countess Saldis," Deirdre murmured, bowing her head. Lady Ethlyn had spent the hours before the tea party helping her get ready, and I had to say, Deirdre's looks were even more striking than usual because of it. "I... must apologize in advance, as I have not attended a proper tea party before."

"Oh? I'm your first?" Countess Saldis asked, as if she didn't already know. The whole reason I agreed to this was so Deirdre's first outing would not be nearly as stressful as my own. "Hee~! Aren't I lucky? I'm certainly honored." At least her smile remained sincere. "Now, may I ask who the gentleman here is?"

"Chulainn is Alicia's guard because she gets into as much trouble as Sigurd."

"I do not," I protested immediately, frowning. Deirdre grinned, delighted by my reaction, while Lady Ethlyn did not even bother to hide her own laughter. Chulainn, meanwhile, remained as stoic and quiet as ever. "You exaggerate, Deirdre."

"Well, we can at least say you do not usually run into trouble as my brother does," Lady Ethlyn teased, her smile impishly delighted. I already had a terrible feeling of what she was going to say next. "Excluding the fire, of course." I... no one was ever going to let me forget that, were they? "But yes, since she's almost as good at finding trouble, Sigurd hired a guard. And, knowing her terrible luck, if we didn't have him around, we definitely would find some sort of trouble."

"What trouble would that be? We're two hours away at most."

"Bandits, freak storms... a lot can happen in two hours!"

On that very lovely note, Countess Saldis herded us to her gardens in the back where she had a table set up for the tea party. Chulainn ducked away as soon as we entered, to 'not disturb us', and I didn't see where he went before I was gently nudged into a chair, next to Deirdre and across from Lady Ethlyn. The tea party itself was nice, though nowhere near as fun as the 'improper' one we had with Lady Edain previously. But the tea was comforting, the pastries were delicious, and Countess Saldis was always kind and encouraging, picking topics with care so the conversation would always remain light. At one point during a lull, I decided to fix a plate for Chulainn since I still felt guilty about dragging him with us. Thankfully, no one minded, with Countess Saldis even helping me, and I left to hunt for wherever Chulainn ended up hiding. To my surprise, he wasn't conveniently close. I had to wander the gardens for quite a while, much longer than I'd planned, before I found him, and I only did because of a very strange sight which caught my eye first.

Namely, there were cats. There were many cats. There were many cats crawling all over Chulainn where he sat in a far corner in the gardens, hidden by shrubbery and flowers, and he did not seem to mind their company in the slightest. In fact, he encouraged it, gently petting each of them with a slight smile. I thought he might have even chuckled at their playful little meows, but I may have misheard since I was much more focused on trying to figure out what all these cats were doing here.

"Do you need something, Alicia?" Chulainn suddenly asked, not even looking at me. He was much too busy scratching a blissful cat under the chin. "You've been standing there for a while."

"I'm sorry; the cats startled me," I replied, cautiously moving closer. A couple of the cats looked at me curiously, but otherwise ignored me for Chulainn. "How…?"

"Some are mousers; others are pets. Still others are curious strays." He moved his head slightly, letting another cat hop onto his shoulder. With that one, my final count ended up being eight. Two were calicos, two were pure black, three had gray and white markings, and the one on Chulainn's shoulder was a brown tabby with a black collar. "What made you leave? I saw you stand up, but didn't see anything amiss."

"You saw…?" By now, I managed to make it to his side, and saw he'd been clever with his hiding place. No one could see him, but he had a perfect view of the garden table where the party was held. Right now, I could see Deirdre and Lady Ethlyn laughing at something Countess Saldis had said. "Ah, no, there's nothing amiss. I simply…" Belatedly remembering the plate I was still holding, I held it out to him. "I thought you might be hungry."

"..." Chulainn stared at me for a long moment, studying me as he always did, before taking the plate from me. He didn't try to eat, but he did shoo the cats away from it. "I figured I would eat when we returned."

"I don't see why you should wait." Did I do something wrong? I must have, but I wasn't certain how to fix or apologize. I could only think to change the subject. "So, why are the cats here?"

"I thought I answered that."

"You answered where they came from. You did not explain why they're curled up against you."

"Oh, they just want some attention." He reached up to scratch the shoulder-cat behind the ears, and they purred loudly. "I like animals, so I don't mind."

"You do?"

"Yes." Something dark crossed his eyes then. "They're honest in a way humans never can be." The words were unexpectedly heavy, and I could not respond. The slight surprise on his face hinted he hadn't meant to say it aloud, which only made the silence heavier. "I think Lady Deirdre is about to go look for you." The sudden change in subject confirmed it. No, he had not meant to say it, and he absolutely would not elaborate.

"Is she?" So, I stepped back, to give him space. "Then I had best return." Still, I wanted to clear the air between us, somehow, but what was I supposed to say? "...Try not to drown in cat hair?"

"They don't shed that much." The words were simple, but they were light and came with a slight smile. I would take it as a small victory.

I smiled back and left then, glancing back only once. I saw him nibbling on the food, and felt some of my earlier embarrassment fade. Perhaps I had surprised him? I'd... I'd think about asking him another day. For now, I had to find my way back to the table, and try not to make a ruckus upon my return. It was harder than it sounded. I had not paid attention to where I was going when I first found him, and thus, it took me even longer to return. I was grateful I was greeted with smiles, not frowns, when I finally made it back.

"You took a while, Lady Alicia," Countess Saldis gently teased, and chided, as I slid back into my chair. I could only smile apologetically in return. "Did you get lost?"

"I fear I was distracted by Chulainn's many admirers," I answered, mostly to avoid somehow explaining Chulainn hid himself very well. Somehow, I doubt she'd appreciate hearing it. "The local cats seem to like him."

"Oh?" She laughed at the thought, and both Deirdre and Lady Ethlyn giggled too. In their case, it was probably the mental image of stoic Chulainn surrounded by adorable kittens. "Was a tabby among them, by chance?"

"Yes, there was one on his shoulder, brown with a black collar."

"Really?" She was noticeably surprised. "I'd meant that as a joke, truthfully. The only tabby near is little Chestnut, my husband's cat. And he only likes my husband and daughter. Hisses at me and all the other servants." Truly? The cat had seemed perfectly affectionate with Chulainn. "I should ask for tips."

"You wish to ask my guard how to woo a cat?"

"Not a cat, that cat. It is so infuriating seeing him be all sweet and loving to them, only for him to growl and run whenever I get close." She scowled, and I decided against asking why it would be infuriating. "Not to mention how smug he gets when he steals my husband." Deirdre and I exchanged a confused look, not understanding any of this. Meanwhile, Lady Ethlyn groaned and nodded in agreement. "I thought you might understand, Lady Ethlyn. Men can become so easily distracted."

"I... have a feeling they're going to continue this topic for a while," Deirdre observed softly, sipping her tea. I nodded in agreement, watching as Lady Ethlyn and Countess Saldis turned the conversation into somehow complaining and bragging about their husbands. "Um... so, while they do that, I realized something on the way over?" She smiled at me shyly. "I know you finished the story, but I haven't been able to ask your thoughts about it."

"Ah, I suppose so," I answered, thinking back. She was right; both of us had been very busy since my return. "I will admit it took me a few chapters to start appreciating it, but it was a fun read overall. I kept peeking at the end to see who lived and died."

"Alicia, that is no way to read a story!"

"I had to know immediately, though?"

"You have to read in order!"

Deirdre continued scolding me about my 'improper reading habits' even as she insisted on discussing plot points and characters, and I laughed and answered as best as I could. Eventually, Lady Ethlyn and Countess Saldis realized the two of us weren't paying attention, and the conversation drifted to other lighthearted matters. All in all, while I wasn't certain I'd attend another tea party, I could admit the afternoon was enjoyable. I hoped Deirdre thought the same.

---

"I must say; this job is much different than what I was expecting." Chulainn's very casual observation startled me. It was a few days after the tea party with Countess Saldis, and it was just the two of us in my workshop this morning. Usually, he remained perfectly silent the entire time, and I would do my best to remember how to work in the silence. So I definitely, definitely didn't expect him to start a conversation.

"What do you mean?" I asked in return, closing the room to the storage behind me. I'd gone inside to grab some herbs for headache remedies, but this was clearly more important. It wasn't, but my mind insisted anyway. "I thought you said you expected things to be boring."

"Not that." He actually had a slight smile on his face, for some reason. "According to around... let's say a fifth of the rumors, you're Sigurd's mistress."

"They say I am what." I could only shake my head, torn between shock and laughter, and head back to the table. "How ridiculous. Ignoring how Sigurd and I find the idea laughable, he is devoted to Deirdre."

"Indeed, which is probably why another fifth assumes you're Deirdre's mistress instead." Of all the absurd... "I suppose because she stays close to you even when the three of you are out."

"Gossip truly does enjoy attaching romantic reasons for innocuous events." She stayed close because it was easier for her to hide behind me. Her feelings for Sigurd were still very overwhelming, so hiding behind him wasn't always an option. "Dare I ask what the remaining three-fifths think?"

"They share you, obviously." He said the words so easily and bluntly I actually tripped over my own feet from the shock. Thankfully, he caught me before I fell or, worse, dropped the herbs. "So I expected more 'escort to lord's chambers' sort of nights, not you staying up past midnight working and me carrying you back to your room when you fell asleep."

"That was…" Oh, it was embarrassing to remember. It had been after we returned from Countess Saldis's home. I'd been determined to catch up on what work I had missed and... "I was tired from the party, so I overdid it a little. I don't usually-"

"You don't usually fall asleep at your table, but you do stay up late working."

"You don't have to stay up with me."

"How am I supposed to guard you if I'm asleep?" I suppose that was fair, yet I still felt guilty. "I can't rig a trap in your workshop like I do your room."

"No, you can't, but I... wait, what was that?" I set the herbs down at last and turned to face him. The worst part was how he remained perfectly stoic, as always. "You trap my room?"

"Just the door."

"You still trap it!" This was…! "What if I trigger it?"

"You have a habit of waking with the dawn." He shrugged. "So I wake before you to remove it."

"What if there's an emergency at night?"

"It's a simple trap, so it doesn't take long to remove. Not deadly or hurtful either. Just loud."

"You… are impossible." There had to be a much more eloquent way to reply, but this was all I had. He had the nerve to chuckle. "What brought this conversation on anyway?"

"Sigurd made a request earlier, and it reminded me of what I'd expected." He nodded to the room, for some reason. "I'm supposed to somehow ensure you do not spend all your waking hours in your workshop."

"He asked you to...?" I wanted to be skeptical. I did. Yet I also knew Sigurd very much would have said something like it, especially since he knew I was trying to break habits. "What am I to do with him?"

"I have no idea, but he's the employer." He shrugged. "His word outweighs yours."

"Of course it does." This was more than a little irritating, so I decided to be spiteful for once. "Fine, then. I'll set these up, and we shall go foraging."

"I think that qualifies as work." Still, he smiled a little in response, and I noticed it was different from his usual ones. It was more… boyish. Yes, that was the word. It was boyish. "But since it still fulfills the wording of the request, if not the spirit, I think it'll get a pass."

"I'm so glad you approve. Find me a basket, will you?"

"Back corner of the store room, top shelf?"

"Yes, thank you."

Chulainn grabbed my basket and I quickly made the headache remedies and set the jars in the window to steep. Then Chulainn and I left, posting word with today's gate guard: Sir Naoise. He led the way to the woods from there, mostly because I didn't remember the path. I hadn't foraged much since the fighting ended, since Sigurd was far too quick to buy whatever herbs I needed from the apothecaries. I couldn't even be mad about it, since it helped the local economy and I had surprisingly become used to having 'no budget' for healing supplies. But it was nice, to simply walk and forage as I used to.

"Oh my, there's so many different herbs out here," I observed as Chulainn and I hiked. It felt like I was stopping every other step to pick something, and I wished I'd brought two baskets instead of one. "I should take the boys out here for one of their lessons."

"You teach them frequently," Chulainn replied, reaching up to push a branch out of our way. He then held out a hand to help me over a cluster of roots, so I wouldn't trip. "Do you enjoy it?"

"I... do, actually." It was stressful, thinking of what to teach them each time, and yet, it was also so very fun. "It helps me refresh my own knowledge as well. Verdane is home to many herbs not native to Yngvi, after all."

"Hence your studying."

"What is medicine to one person is poison to another. As such, a healer has a responsibility to gain and maintain a wealth of knowledge for her patients." I smiled up at him, before noticing something much, much higher. "Oh, those fruits..." I had read about them. Their seeds were used in many local remedies. The books had said they grew in higher branches, but this seemed a little ridiculous. How did anyone manage to climb so high to pick them?

"How many do you need?"

"Huh?" I frowned at him in confusion, only to gape when he started climbing the tree with ease. It felt like I had blinked and suddenly he was halfway to the top. "Are you part cat? Is that why they liked you so much?"

"I've been dubbed a 'dog' more than a 'cat'."

"I don't think dogs climb trees?" Certainly I doubted they would climb so quickly. "You're better than Arvis, and he has to scale the side of Velthomer Castle when he locks himself out of his office."

"It's really not hard." He settled easily among the topmost branches, looking down at me. "So, how many?"

"Ah, can you pick me three? It's the seeds I want, and they're supposed to be filled with them."

"Three it is, then." He picked them easily and then somehow climbed down just as quickly despite only being able to use one hand. "Into the basket?"

"Yes?" I was still wrapping my head around what just happened. Chulainn, however, remained nonchalant and stoic. "Ah, thank you..." I had to at least say that. I couldn't let my disbelief override my manners. "Would you like me to show you how to use them?"

"No, from what I've seen, I'm much too clumsy to make medicines." He smiled faintly and shook his head, yet I could only frown skeptically. After all, he sometimes seemed more dexterous than Ayra, and she had Od blood! "I'm sure the boys would appreciate it, though."

"I hope so." I was quite proud of all of them. They were all progressing very well; Dew could even read a simple book by himself now. "I truly hope so."

We hiked in silence again from there, with me snagging every herb which looked interesting, and Chulainn keeping an eye on our surroundings. I think I ended up stealing his pockets for a few of the herbs, just because there were so many, but Chulainn didn't complain. He didn't complain about anything, and it was honestly worrying. Then there was the realization I didn't know what he did in his 'free time'. He guarded me during all my waking hours, but what else did he do? …Was this what everyone thought when they had to deal with me, before I realized I had a home, a true home, here? I was almost curious enough to ask, but how would you even word such a question?

"Ah, look at that," Chulainn suddenly murmured, his eyes fixed upward. Before I could ask what he meant, however, he was up in the trees once more. I swear; I only blinked and he was hiding in the leaves!

"What is it?" I asked, straining to find him through the branches. I might as well not bothered. As soon as I caught a glimpse, he was already back on the ground with something in his hand. "Is that a flower?" Wait, hold on, I recognized it. "Why, this is an ashrola!" They were used in a number of Verdane's local remedies, particularly ones for fever and headaches.

"Good, I did remember correctly." He handed it to me with a slight smile. "Last time I passed through Verdane, a local told me about them. They're hard to harvest because they only grow on the uppermost branches for a short period of time."

"Yes, so most have to make due with dried and unfortunately, it's less effective." As such, ashrola could be terribly expensive, despite its many uses. "I... were there more?"

"There were. I just wanted to confirm before I picked them." His slight smile grew. "I'll be right back."

There ended up being many more, far more than what I could use. So, after Chulainn picked all he could find, we left the woods to swing by the apothecary and share the bounty. The look of surprise on the owner's face was priceless, even if it took far too long to convince him I didn't need payment. I was just happy to share, and even happier Chulainn found them.

---

"Hey, teach me!" A few days after Chulainn and I went foraging, Shannan's sudden and earnest demand ended whatever peaceful morning I may have otherwise had. "Please?" he added belatedly, looking up at Chulainn with the most pleading eyes. "Please, please?"

"Why would you want to learn from me?" Chulainn asked, visibly startled for the first time in our acquaintance. Then again, when Shannan had burst into my workshop, he'd probably assumed Shannan would have rushed to tackle my legs as he usually did. I may be seated at the table to study, but that fact rarely stopped him from hugging me. "Ask your aunt."

"Aunt Ayra does teach me." Shannan reached up to tug Chulainn's sleeve. Part of me thought I should intervene, but honestly, I was much too busy enjoying the show to do so. I even stopped studying so I could twist in my chair and better watch. "But I want to learn from you too!"

"That makes... absolutely no sense."

"Why? I want to be stronger. Strong enough so Aunt Ayra never has to give up her morals to keep me safe again." Shannan frowned then, and my heart ached. "So, I need to learn more. You're strong."

"I..." Chulainn glanced at me then, and I didn't know if he was trying to ask for help or not. "Is he even healthy enough for normal lessons, much less extra?"

"Shannan has more or less fully recovered," I confirmed, leaning against the back of my chair and resting my arms on it. It was truly amazing how he had no lingering side effects. "Any hesitance I would have at him having extra lessons is personal, not as a healer."

"...Right, Holy Blood," Chulainn sighed, running a hand through his hair. It was amazing how much more emotive he was than usual. "The boost to recovery and stamina is ridiculous sometimes." He looked down at Shannan once more, who continued looking as adorably pleading as possible. Someone had gotten lessons from Dew. "You're aware I'm on duty, right? As her guard?"

"I'm only studying, so I can do so outside." I smiled innocently when he glanced at me again, this time certain he'd wanted help. But I was on Shannan's side, so it didn't matter. "It will also fulfill Sigurd's requirement." It turned out to be an actual thing, though Sigurd had been surprised Chulainn had managed it. I had pretended to be mad about it for an hour. "So, please, do not refuse on my account."

"You..." He grumbled something under his breath, before looking at Shannan once more. "I don't fight honorably, you know. I'm a mercenary, and one with death's eyes." He used the term easily. Was he Isaachian like Ayra, then? Did other countries know the phrase? "Anything goes if it gets the job done."

"That's fine," Shannan answered, dropping the adorable act for seriousness. "I still want to learn."

"...Oh, all right," Chulainn finally agreed reluctantly. Shannan immediately beamed, ecstatic over the 'victory'. "Let's head to the training yard then."

Shannan practically skipped the whole way outside, laughing in triumph. Chulainn and I followed at a more subdued pace, though I couldn't keep from smiling at the turn of events. In fact, I was even giggling by the time we made it to the yards and I sat down on the nearby bench to study and watch the lesson. One thing quickly became apparent once they started, though. For all his reluctance to teach, Chulainn was actually quite good at it. He was gentle yet firm, strict yet understanding. Whenever Shannan made a mistake, he made sure Shannan was aware of why it was a mistake. Of course, he remained blunt through it all, but that was neither here nor there.

"Ugh... why do my hands have to be here?" Shannan whined at some point during the lesson. I wasn't quite sure what Chulainn was showing him, but it involved a different grip than what he was used to. "They want to be in the other spot."

"And your belly wants sweets," Chualinn replied, helping him change his grip again. This was probably the third time it had happened, yet he remained as patient and gentle as ever. "But you don't gorge yourself on them, yes?"

"...Now I want some, though."

"That is for later, unless you're ready to end the lesson."

"No, I want to keep going!"

"All right, then." Chulainn's gaze focused on something behind them for a brief instance, and I wondered what caught his attention. "So…"

"Oh, Shannan, there you are." Those words announced Finn's arrival at the training yards, and he was visibly surprised by what he saw. "And... Chulainn?" he continued, frowning. The frown relaxed when he saw me sitting on the bench, reading. He must have been worried I had been left without a guard. "Are you giving lessons?" So, instead, Finn returned his attention back to Shannan and Chulainn. Shannan smiled happily; Chulainn was some cross between 'irritable' and 'stoic'. "I... you're usually guarding Alicia, so I didn't want to bother, but may I join? Please?"

"Aren't knights supposed to avoid mercenaries?" Chulainn sighed. Yes, he was irritable. I actually found this all amusing. "Leonster in particular disparages them, which doesn't help tensions with Thracia."

"If there is one thing I have learned in this army, it is that those of Leonster do not know everything, regardless of what they think." That... that was blunt. "For instance, many say Verdane is naught but a land of barbarians, but I have clearly seen otherwise. I think it reasonable, then, to question their other beliefs. Prince Quan encourages me to learn all I can, as he did when he first ventured past their borders." Finn ducked his head, perhaps realizing how bold the words were. "Besides, as you said, Leonster and Thracia are at constant war with each other. If I learn how to fight as a mercenary does, perhaps I can learn how to protect myself against their tricks."

"While I would be the first to point out different mercenaries have different styles and tricks, I can't exactly fault the logic. In my experience, knowing how to do something is precisely how you learn how to counter." Chulainn grimaced, but waved Finn over. "Grab a lance then. I suppose I can show you a few tricks to fighting Thracians as well."

"You've fought them?"

"I'm a mercenary. I've fought everyone."

Finn eagerly fetched a practice lance to join in, and Chulainn's lesson quickly adapted to account for both. Watching him, I decided again he was a good teacher, to tailor his lessons so quickly and keep track of the differences between Shannan and Finn. For their part, the boys were completely focused, determined to make the most of this, and I thought Chulainn's reluctance even softened in the wake of their enthusiasm.

"Oh, so this is where you are." Shortly after Finn and Shannan had to take their first break, Lex appeared next to me, as quiet as can be. I remembered him telling me he usually took morning walks around the castle, so he must have seen us as he passed. "Shannan was talking about how he wanted Chulainn to teach him," he murmured, watching the boys laugh and drink water before settling back into their lesson. "Not surprised he finally asked."

"How long has he wanted to learn?" I asked, gesturing for Lex to join me on the bench. I even scooted over to make room. "Has it been a while?"

"Since he was made your guard, actually. But all of us underestimated how seriously Chulainn would take the job." Lex plopped down beside me with a laugh. Chulainn glanced over, no doubt wondering just who was near me, but seeing it was Lex, he focused once more on Shannan and Finn. "Alec and Naoise have asked him multiple times if he wanted to go drinking, but he refuses on account of you still being awake and working."

"I'm beginning to wonder if Sigurd gave me a guard not because of the presumed trouble I fall into-"

"Presumed? Alicia, you were held hostage twice, ran into a raging inferno, got lost in the Spirit Forest..."

"But because he knew I would feel guilty about making Chulainn stand around on guard all the time and, thus, would work less so he had time to relax." Was it childish to simply continue as if he hadn't spoken? Perhaps. But I felt like it, and Lex laughed it off. "Finn mentioned not wanting to bother since he was always busy as well."

"We'll somehow turn you into the champion of slackers instead of workaholics." He grinned and I shook my head. The very idea was ridiculous. "You know; I was thinking this earlier, but it's incredible Shannan's recovered so well." He turned his gaze back to the yard, watching the lesson. "I remember how thin and weak he was only a few months ago. Now look at him. You'd never know he'd been so ill before." Yes, you wouldn't. I was glad to see it. "Holy Blood really does make monsters of us all."

"...Pardon?" That was... not a typical thing you heard about those with Holy Blood.

"What? It's true. Each of us is some level of not-human. Using my fine self as an example... what human can block a blade with their bare hand and not suffer a crippling injury?" He smiled sardonically, and I had no reply. After all, it was true. Only those of Nal's blood were capable of performing such a feat. "What human has the ability to raze half a country in a suicidal assault?" I wouldn't go so far as to say the Final Strike of those with Fjalar's blood was that destructive, but I could see his point nonetheless. "And Hodr's blood, with all their strength? Even their minors have to be careful not to break people's bones on accident."

"It is still not something most would say."

"Not to our faces." He shrugged. "It's not really a big deal. So what if we're monsters? We're still here, alive and kicking, and we still make mistakes. And we're certainly not invincible. But every once in a while, I have to sit back and go 'if I didn't have Holy Blood, I would be very dead'."

"Perhaps you should not be as reckless when you fight."

"But that's too much work!"

"So you say to the healer who has to patch you up."

"Er..." Lex glanced around for some sort of distraction and, to his visible relief, found one. "Hey, Ayra!" He waved her over just as she was passing by and, with a shrug, she headed our way, pausing only to watch Chulainn teach Shannan.

"Subtle."

"Quiet."

"All right, Lex has his 'I am desperately trying to avoid a lecture' face," Ayra noted with a laugh as she finally joined us. Chulainn's eyes flicked over at her arrival, but he otherwise remained focused on the boys. "What were you all talking about?"

"How Holy Blood makes us all weird," Lex answered easily, smiling slightly. Ayra raised a brow. "What? It does. We were commenting on it the other day, weren't we?"

"We were, though admittedly at my own observation." Ayra crossed her arms, twisting to watch Shannan, and she smiled softly when it became clear how much fun Shannan was having. "I thought it odd how close those of Yngvi and Chalphy were to their reigning lords. In Isaach, we were... there was a noticeable distance. I mourned the loss of Setanta and his family anew when Shannan was born, and I realized he might never have a true friend."

"Are you truly kept so separate?" I asked, a little confused. I knew I didn't exactly have a good grasp on 'normal', but this seemed a little...

"Someone once described Isaach as the land ruled by 'Divine Beasts', where the royal family was the 'Divine' and House Sophara was the 'Beast'," Ayra noted, almost but not quite bitter. I wouldn't exactly call it 'resigned' either. "Our line is divinely blessed with skill, and a strong connection to animals. No one wants to befriend the divine; they want them to stay away. So, after Shannan was born, he was always alone. He didn't have what I had growing up." She closed her eyes and sighed, as if trying to push away the negativity. "I wished more than a few times Setanta had lived, despite having long given up hope, because I knew if he had married and had children, they would've been close to Shannan. Few else could understand what it is like to have Od's blood."

"...Is that so?"

"I take it you didn't experience such?" Ayra opened her eyes, smiling a little sardonically. I tried to think back, but the only person who knew of my Holy Blood growing up was Father Eirik, and he never... I was a nuisance and a burden, but not something to fear or hold in awe. Then again, Father Eirik was close to Prince Kurth, and openly insulted my father. Holy Blood didn't impress him. "Lex said something about how Yngvi and Chalphy were just... like that. I don't think I ever heard why. We were distracted by Dew's prank."

"Oh, that?" Lex replied with a shrug. He leaned a little back, though not far enough to fall off the bench. "I think it's because Baldr's blessing isn't as specialized and focused as the rest. They have greater strength and skill, sure, but it's not to the same beyond-human levels as Hodr or Thrud. Their third unique blessing, luck, ties into why Yngvi also doesn't see their rulers as some distant monsters. Their luck may break the laws of reality, but otherwise, they're very normal. Any skill they have is earned through hard work and dedication, the same as the rest."

"Ah, yes, that does make some sense." She nodded, accepting the answer, but I found myself frowning. Perhaps it was because I grew up in Yngvi, but it just seemed strange to me. At the same time, though, I remembered what Prince Kurth had said, about how the gossip surrounding the warehouse scandals surged when it became known Father Claud and I had both tended to the children. They automatically assumed the children were on the brink of death, because I had 'Fjalar's might' and his holy blood meant he had the ability to wield any and all staves. After all, that was another of the blessings Holy Blood gave, an affinity with a certain type of weapon. So, our involvement… it may have made things worse. Was it why King Azmur approved of such a cruel punishment? Had he also believed?

…I didn't like it. I didn't like it at all. What I especially didn't like, however, was how no one thought to tell me of this potential trap surrounding Holy Blood. Arvis had not told me, and for the very first time, his silence on a matter irritated me. If this was how people saw those with Holy Blood, then I needed to know. I no longer hid, after all. I may be surrounded by those who did not place such expectations on our lineage, but I still needed to know. But… ah, my thoughts were becoming twisted. I would talk with Sigurd about it another day. I worried my obliviousness may have caused problems. For now, I should try to focus on the present, yet even as I thought it, I thought of something else Prince Kurth had told me and…

"I suppose it adds to what Prince Kurth said about some of their generals collapsing from the stress of fighting Mariccle," I murmured absently, barely aware of what I was saying. In fact, I didn't fully realize I had said it aloud until Ayra stiffened. "Ah, my apologies!" Of all the things to let slip, it had to be that? Why could it have not been any of my earlier musings? "When we met in Velthomer, he shared a little about the..."

"...What did he say?" Ayra asked, her voice soft and even small. Though there was plenty of room on the bench for her to sit, she chose to sit down at my feet, drawing her knees to her chest, and look up at me with resigned yet lost eyes. "What did... he tell you?"

"I..." I wasn't sure I had the right, but if she asked, then did I have the right to refuse? "It wasn't much, mind. Your brother is aware you and Shannan made it to Verdane, and are under Sigurd's protection. Prince Kurth tried to trick him, but merchant gossip was too quick."

"Did he ask to use Shannan as a hostage?"

"No, he never brought it up. The closest was, as I said, trying to trick Mariccle into..." Belatedly, I realized something terribly rude. "I'm sorry; I should be using a title. Is it-?"

"He'd be the first to insist you drop the title, so don't." She managed a slight smile. "So, he tried to force Mariccle into surrendering, but it failed."

"Yes." I thought about something and turned to Lex. "Marricle also compared Duke Lombard to a mangy bear." As I expected, he immediately burst into laughter, actually doubling-over from the force. Chulainn, Shannan, and Finn looked over at us curiously, but I smiled and shook my head. I had no intention of trying to explain. "Prince Kurth... he called Mariccle brilliant. He truly believes the only way they can win is through having more Holy Weapons and a magical advantage. As it stands, Mariccle alone has killed many of their soldiers, and as I said, some of their soldiers collapse from the stress of fighting someone like him."

"I see." Her smile grew, and it was both terribly proud and heartbreakingly sad. "He is not going gently. Good. That is our way. Isaach never submits. We're the land blessed by Tiamat of Beasts, after all, and a beast does not surrender. We fight until the end, and we make our enemies pay for every drop of blood shed." Honestly, it sounded like Grannvale wasn't going to have much of an army once this campaign was over. "Thank you. For telling me." She looked away then, to where Shannan and Finn were still having their lesson. Finn was noticeably tired, but continued smiling as he practiced. Shannan, meanwhile, looked invigorated. "Well, I hope Chulainn doesn't mind pulling double-duty as a teacher, as I think Shannan will pester him until he agrees again."

"Do you want a lesson yourself?"

"I want a rematch, damn it." She made a face, and I had to muffle a laugh. "Lex, you want one too, don't you?"

"Denied," Chulainn suddenly interjected, not even looking over at us. Lex and Ayra both yelped in surprise, and I found myself muffling more laughter. I wouldn't have thought he'd been paying any attention to the conversation! "I don't spar."

"Oh, come on!" Lex 'complained', grinning too much for the words to have weight. Yet, at the same time, I had a feeling Ayra was right and he did, in fact, want a rematch. "It'll be helpful!"

"No."

"Aw, don't be like that!"

Lex continued trying to get Chulainn to agree to a spar, and Chulainn kept refusing. However, both Shannan and Finn did take advantage of his distraction to ask for another lesson, and Chulainn ended up agreeing before realizing just what he said. It seemed I would be studying outside quite a bit in the coming days. At least the weather was nice.

---

Eventually, the naming ceremony for Zaya's baby arrived. After reassuring myself all would be well in my absence, and making a promise with Shannan to return, Chulainn and I left via horse. Sigurd had offered a carriage, but I'd refused. Personally, I wouldn't have minded walking, but Chulainn actually rode well, so we rode together. Most of it was spent in silence, save for Chulainn telling me Lord Oifeye had actually taken him to the side to tell him I did not know how to camp and would try to camp without a tent if left to my own devices. I couldn't decide if I was more mortified or annoyed.

"Been a while since I've been to Marpha," Chulainn noted as we navigated the streets. After stabling the horse at the local inn, we set off to Zaya's house. We kept our travel cloaks on, mostly to try and blend in a little more. Our hair colors would stand out too much in the crowd. "I can see where the war wore on them, but they're as lively as ever."

"Yes, I'm glad their spirits have healed some," I whispered, looking about with a small smile on my face. I recognized quite a few of them, many who had come to me for treatment, and my smile grew at how healthy they all appeared. "I... ah!" Unfortunately, I paid too much attention to my surroundings and not enough on what was in front of me, so I accidentally bumped into someone and nearly fell. I only didn't because Chulainn caught me. "Thank you... I'm..." I turned to apologize to whoever I'd bumped, but they were long gone, lost in the crowd. "Oh..."

"Someone in that much of a hurry has probably bumped and been bumped too many times to care." Chulainn kept an arm wrapped around me to help me navigate the crowd. He even reached over to help fix my hood when it nearly fell. "Yes, as lively as ever. Where are we heading?"

"If I remember correctly, it should be a little further down this way."

Chulainn continued holding on to me, and did not let go until we stepped down one of the many branching side-streets from the market, heading to Zaya's house. At least, I hoped it was her house; I was following the directions on the invitation. I had never been, after all. Zaya had still been in the infirmary when we left Marpha. But the directions were clear, and it was not long before we found ourselves in front of a lovely house decorated with ivy and flowers. Part of me marveled at how similar it looked to the houses in Deirdre's village, but I forced myself to not be distracted so I could knock on the door. It opened quickly, barely after the second knock, and I had to stare when I saw it was Mistress Yesui who answered. For a brief moment, I wondered if I'd accidentally gone to her home, but I knew it was impossible. I'd visited her home enough times to know it was in a completely different part of the city, for one thing.

"Why, little healer, there you are!" Mistress Yesui greeted, chuckling. Then, surprisingly, she reached out and gave me a big hug. "Good, good, you made it. I worried I might have to head to Evans myself to drag you out of your workshop." She let go of me, stroking my hair, and focused on Chulainn. "Ah, but I don't believe we've met. I am Yesui, the midwife for Marpha, though I occasionally serve as a doctor. You are?"

"Chulainn, a mercenary hired to be her guard," Chulainn answered, gesturing to me. Mistress Yesui arched a brow at me, and I shrugged. "I'll wait out here during the ceremony, however. I know it's ill manners to be inside the house when not invited."

"I thank you for your consideration." Mistress Yesui smiled once more and took my hand. "Well, come on in, Lady Alicia." She tugged me after her, and I managed an apologetic smile at Chulainn before the door shut. "A guard?"

"Sigurd insisted," I explained, following her through the halls. The house was cozy, decorated with fresh flowers. It was like walking through Velthomer's gardens, but warmer. "According to him, I fall into trouble too much."

"Well, he's not wrong," Mistress Yesui replied, voice blunt and no-nonsense. I had to frown a little, since I maintained everyone was fussing too much. "I'm just not certain he's the one to point it out. You two are terribly similar." Before I could even try to protest, we stepped into a large room filled with even more flowers and bright yet soft colors. "Sarnai, look who's here!"

"Hmm? Oh!" Sarnai's happy gasp was all I heard before I was enveloped in another hug. "Oh, you made it!" she cheered, giggling and laughing. She was even bubblier than usual. "Zaya will be so happy! I know you sent your reply, but we were worried some sort of emergency would happen!"

"Thankfully, all is well in Evans," I reassured, studying her. There were no lingering signs of fear or stress in her face today, only her bright and full smile. "Ah, but..." I hesitated before reaching into my pack and pulling out the blanket I had made. I'd barely managed to finish it before we left; I still needed to finish the one for Altena. "I made this for the baby."

"You made...!" She squealed. She actually squealed before snatching the blanket. "I have to give this to Zaya right now!" Then, in a blink, she was gone, a blur and a puff of wind being the only signs she hadn't literally disappeared.

"She... has a lot of energy today." I stared blankly before turning to a terribly amused Mistress Yesui. "I take it I did not offend? I was told a present would be fine, but..."

"Of course not," Mistress Yesui reassured softly. "Gifts are always appreciated, and there is a certain love only handmade gifts can convey." She studied me for a moment before nodding. "I thought so earlier, but I see you are making efforts to no longer hold onto your calm in all situations."

"I..." I began, automatically trying to deny it. But even that reaction was... "It is a... lengthy work in progress..."

"But a necessary one. A healer is still only human. You should not be treated as a breathing staff, but as a person. You are worth far more than a fancy stick." She stroked my hair, smiling softly and proudly. "I'm glad you finally feel safe enough to try. It's much easier to learn self-respect when you're around people who respect you." I didn't know how to reply, so I only ducked my head. "Anyway, might you help me with the final preparations, little healer?"

"I would be glad to do so."

The 'final preparations' did not take long and, before long, I was standing in one of the back rooms with Mistress Yesui, Sarnai, and others Zaya had invited. The actual ceremony was more solemn than I would've guessed, given the cheer of the household, and involved a priest blessing the baby and tucking flowers into their fists. I would fully admit to not understanding most of the significance, and I watched Mistress Yesui to have an idea of how to react and respond to each part. Though I was both embarrassed and honored when I realized Zaya had wrapped her baby, Beren, in the blanket I had made before the ceremony started. I didn't think it was that special, but I was glad she liked it.

Once the ceremony was over, everyone and everything moved outside for the public party. Apparently, it was considered polite for everyone in the city to attend, much as they did for funerals. I left with the group, and quickly slipped away from everyone to look for Chulainn. Thankfully, I found him not far away, but just as I did during the last 'party' I attended, I found him with company.

"So, it is a dog, this time?" I asked, somewhere between surprised and amused. After all, Chulainn was kneeling in the dirt, rubbing the belly of a very large dog with white fur. "Where did it even come from?"

"This fine fellow was trotting about looking for his little master," Chulainn answered, not surprised by my presence in the slightest. I had to admit; I had thought him too focused on the dog to have noticed me. "Since I saw the crowd surging, I convinced him to wait until things settled once more."

"You convinced it?" I carefully stepped closer, and stiffened when the dog immediately growled, despite still being petted by Chulainn. "Um..."

"He's the protective sort." Yet it submitted so easily to belly rubs. "Ah, but I see a child trying to wiggle their way through the crowd." Chulainn pushed himself up, and the dog immediately righted itself, tail wagging. "Yes, yes, spoiled one." He went right back to petting him, this time on the head. "I think your little master spotted you." I still didn't see any change in the crowd. Yet, to my surprise, a child did soon pop out. Even more surprising was how I knew this child.

"Sparky!" Enkh cheered, rushing over. She nearly fell, but Chulainn caught her before she did. "There you are!" She threw her arms around the visibly happy dog, and I marveled at how she was barely taller than the dog. "Silly!" She turned to smile at Chulainn and me, only to gasp. "Healer lady!" With that, she let go of the dog to hug my legs instead. The dog growled, but Chulainn calmed him. "Hiiiii~!"

"Hello, Enkh," I murmured, stroking her hair. What a delight it was to see her smile again. "Are you out alone?"

"No, I'm with Sparky!" She pointed to the dog, and I failed to see how a single dog was an adequate escort for a toddler. "Well, was until he got lost."

"Did he get lost or did you get distracted?"

"...Um..." She hid her face in my leg, which was answer enough. "Both?"

"He's been very worried," Chulainn added, still petting the dog. I was just happy it wasn't growling at me again. "You need to be careful in a crowd, little one." He nudged the dog over to Enkh before looking at me. "So, is she one of your patients?"

"No, her father was," I answered, attempting to step away to give the dog space. Unfortunately, Enkh insisted on holding onto my leg, so the dog ended up right next to me. "...It's not going to growl again, right?"

"He's decided you are not a threat for now. As I said, he's the protective sort." Chulainn glanced around the area, eyes narrowed. "No signs of someone pushing through, yet it's not typical for a child to be out on their own, even with such a fine escort." Enkh tellingly hid her face more in my leg. Someone snuck out, then. "Let's find her parents."

"Parent."

"Then her father must be extra worried." He bent down and easily scooped up Enkh. "Let's go, then."

I held onto Chulainn's arm as we stepped into the crowd, determined to not be separated. The dog attached itself to Chulainn's other side, sniffing and looking around while we meandered. Despite our worry, there was no sense of haste. After all, everyone remained cheerful and bright, with few even glancing our way. Their happy chatter filled my ears, and if I were not so focused on finding someone who knew Enkh, I knew I would've been delighted to listen.

"Enkh? Pixie? Where are you?" Eventually, we heard someone calling Enkh's name and the dog barked in answer. "Huh? Spark?" The speaker pushed their way towards us through the crowd, and I was delighted yet surprised to see it was Erdene himself. He'd still been bedridden when we left Marpha. "I... Lady Alicia?" he asked, staring at me with wide eyes. Then all his focus snapped to his daughter. "Enkh! There you are!" He stepped forward, but surprisingly, Chulainn didn't immediately hand her over. Instead, he looked at me, and I thought there was a question in his eyes. "Um... you are...?"

"Chulainn, this is Enkh's father, Erdene," I introduced, taking a guess on whether or not I was right. Chulainn nodded and passed Enkh over to her father, telling me I had, in fact, been correct. He'd wanted me to confirm this was someone safe before handing Enkh over. "Erdene, this is Chulainn, my guard."

"Ah, yes, a good thing, considering what I've heard." Erdene clutched Enkh tightly, and she was noticeably quiet. "Little pixie, you really should've waited."

"But you were talking too long..." Enkh mumbled, hiding her face in his neck. The dog, Spark, moved to Erdene's side, leaning against his leg. I worried about him being unbalanced, but didn't say anything. I didn't want to fuss if he was actually well. "I wanted to see the colors..."

"It's been a while since I could walk without help, so... oh, never mind," Erdene sighed, shaking his head. Explaining physical therapy to a toddler was probably a little much. I imagined he had many well-wishers coming to check on him. "For now, I am glad you're safe. You shouldn't go off on your own."

"Sparky."

"Spark is a very good guard, but does not count as an escort." At that, Spark barked, as if offended. "I love you, but it's true. You tag along with her mischief too much." Spark barked again, and he sighed. "Let's... find Altan. He was looking for you too."

"Please give him my regards?" I requested, clasping my hands in front of me. I made sure to smile. "If you could also give him my thanks for the furniture, I would greatly appreciate it."

"Of course, Lady Alicia," Erdene replied, doing his best to bow while still holding onto Enkh. He had to rest a hand on Spark to do so. It took me a moment to realize the dog somehow anticipated needing to be a crutch. "And ah... I only realized it recently, but I never thanked you for your care."

"There's no need." Seeing him strong enough at last to carry his little girl was all the 'thanks' I needed. "I do hope you're not pushing yourself, though."

"I do my best. I would hate to undo all your hard work, after all." His smile was warm. "And in the interest of not pushing myself, I fear I must sit down soon, so I really need to find Altan quickly."

"Of course. Take care." I waved him goodbye, and when they were out of sight, I muffled a laugh. "Oh, what a relief…"

"Long term patient?" Chulainn asked, subtly leading me through the crowd once more. I didn't know where we were going and, truthfully, I didn't care. "He's thin, and his legs shook slightly. I'd guess illness, but he favored a side, which implies injury."

"It was both, in a way," I answered, a little surprised. I hadn't realized he had paid so close attention to Erdene. "He was terribly ill, and lost his wife to the same illness." Though given what I knew now, my theory was he and his wife had accidentally come across Sandima or one of his allies while they were searching for Deirdre in the Spirit Forest. "He had just recovered, and started his mourning, when he was conscripted."

"A seriously ill man suffering from heartbreak managed to survive a single battle?"

"I… well…" I smiled a little sheepishly. "He was part of a group Sigurd fought, and Sigurd and I returned to treat them. Many of them still died, but some survived. Erdene was one of them."

"...You two went back to the enemy to treat them?"

"Did this not come up? Prince Quan remains exasperated by it."

"No, but it adds weight to the warning I got about how you'll treat anyone who comes to you. Even assassins trying to kill you."

"They were hurt, and I wish to save everyone."

"That's a pretty ideal, but impossible."

"It's as poisonous as all other ideals, but I still foolishly strive for it." I said the words firmly, and Chulainn actually paused, staring back at me. His expression didn't change, but I… I had a feeling I'd surprised him. Certainly, his silence felt different from his usual quiet. It was as if he was at a loss for words, instead of choosing to not speak. "I…"

"Oh, you are... Lady Alicia, yes?" A quiet and shy young woman crept close then, a reminder Chulainn and I were still in the crowd. He immediately shifted to stand protectively in front of me, and I focused on the woman, noticing she held a baby close to her chest. "I... um..." she continued, trying to pick her words with care. At first, I tried to think of who she was, but then she smiled. "I don't know... if you remember me..." But I did. I did, because I knew her smile. She wasn't nearly as swollen as before, but her beautiful smile remained the same. "You..."

"I see you and your baby are well," I whispered, smiling back. Chulainn glanced at me, and I nodded before sneaking a little closer, just enough for me to look at the baby's face. I was rewarded with the other beautiful smile from my memory. "I'm glad."

"Ah, yes!" Her smile grew, just as brilliant as it had been the day I'd helped Mistress Yesui with her birthing. "There's still some breathing problems, but Miss Yesui grows more hopeful by the day! He also has no trouble with his eyesight as we feared he might." She giggled, and her baby gurgled in return. "But I... I never got the chance to thank you. For what you did that day."

"Your smiles are enough." I would remember the day forever. Not only had I helped the two of them, but Mistress Yesui had told me my magic saved them. "I'm proud and glad I could help."

"And I count myself lucky Miss Yesui asked for your help that day." She ducked her head for a moment, shy suddenly. "We did realize later you never learned my name. It's Narin."

"It's a pleasure to see you again, Narin."

"Yes, and it is my honor to see you." She hesitated before continuing. "Perhaps… ah, I should not ask until we reach the day. Bad luck otherwise." What was she…? Ah, maybe…

"Then I shall wait for a joyous letter." That seemed to be the best answer, and her pleased smile hinted maybe I was right. Maybe she was asking if I would attend the naming ceremony for her own baby. Even if not, though, I think there was enough of an 'out' to simply send me a letter. Either way, I would be overjoyed. "Ah, but are you heading somewhere? Chulainn and I don't have a destination, so we can escort you."

"Oh, would you mind? I need to find… ah, you never got her name either. My sister-in-law and I were separated in the crowd, and while I was looking for her, I saw you and…"

"Then let's find her together."

It didn't take long for us to find Narin's sister-in-law. After all, she'd been frantically looking for Narin, worried about her health and the health of her nephew. Of course, when she realized Narin was with me, I had to endure a solid five minutes of the most profuse thanks I think I ever heard, a level of gratitude I did not think I deserved since I remembered how I could not save her brother, Narin's husband. Still, I was learning to accept what Sir Alec had said, how gratitude was also a sign of respect, so I listened with a smile and saw them off with a wave. To my delight, Narin's son even laughed when they left, and I was grateful Chulainn finally found a quiet spot out of the crowd soon afterwards. I knew, based on how my smile was too wide and my eyes narrowed, I had that weird smile on my face. I knew I should try to fight it, but it remained there no matter what I wanted.

To make matters worse, Chulainn was staring again. He stared rather blatantly at my face, and I ducked my head to try and hide. It was terribly, terribly embarrassing.

"Is something wrong?" I managed to ask, mostly for the distraction. If I was distracted, maybe I could… "I… um…"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to stare," he murmured. Even as he said it, though, he kept staring. He even ducked down to continue doing so. "I think it's the first time I've seen you smile so happily."

"...Happy?" I glanced up then, curious and surprised. "I look happy?"

"Yes?" He frowned a little. "Are you not?"

"No, I am. But…" How to word this? "Do I not look weird?"

"...Huh?" Well, now he was staring for completely different reasons. I could practically hear the silent 'did you hit your head?'. "Why would you look weird?"

"Because my smile is too wide?"

"You're just smiling. 'Beaming' might be more accurate."

"Am I?" I rested a hand on my cheek. Beaming. He described it as 'beaming'. "It's not a proper smile."

"And just what is a 'proper' smile anyway?" He raised a brow, words dry, and I found I didn't have an answer. There was what Father Eirik taught me, but… "No, it does not look weird."

"So, I don't look like a madwoman."

"No, you look like a happy woman."

"Oh." I softened without thinking about it, and did my best to give him that same smile again. It was both easier and harder than I thought. "Thank you, Chulainn."

"...I didn't do anything but say what was on my mind." He looked away, and leaned against the wall of whatever house we ended up by. But he was smiling too, a soft and gentle smile. "But you're welcome, I suppose."

Neither of us said much of anything after that. I was content watching everyone have fun, and he at least pretended to keep an eye out for potential threats. Yet the silence was not uncomfortable, and I rather thought Chulainn might have even been enjoying himself. But it could have been wishful thinking, since I found the evening enjoyable. Maybe one day, I'd find the courage to ask.

---

Author's note: And now we have Chulainn! Technically speaking, he should be recruited during part 2, but he's recruited through the arena. Basically, in game, you go through the seven rounds and your first time through, you'll face Chulainn at the end. Win, and he joins (and the last opponent of the arena will change to someone different). I moved his recruitment up for… reasons.

The Jugdral games were the first in the series to actually have skills, iirc, and you can definitely tell they hadn't quite balanced everything yet. Astra, like in future iterations, allows one to attack five times in a row. Unlike later games, though, each attack is… well, treated as an attack. So, full strength and, if the attacker can crit (via skill, lover/sibling bonus, or weapon kills), I believe each one has a chance to crit. Oh, and the activation rate is just skill, not skill/2 or anything. Anyway, showcased this here by having Chulainn only get hit by two of the astra hits. As for why Chulainn still didn't die… Chulainn has an absolute RIDICULOUS HP growth. 110%, including his Holy Blood bonuses. To help show how ridiculous this is, only two other gen one characters have an HP growth that high: Sigurd and Quan. Two Majors. And the three of them have the highest HP growths for gen1. Related, he has a higher skill growth than Ayra: 80% to her 60%.

(Speaking of growths, since Altena is Njorun major, Baldr minor, she has a +30% boost to her strength growth, matching a Hodr minor)

Dryas, Glade, and Selphina are all chars from FE5, with Dryas being an important NPC and the latter two being playable. Glade and Selphina are mentioned to be Finn's friends, hence their interactions here (and Glade and Selphina are married by FE5, which is why Finn teases Glade). Figured they'd suit for bring Altena to Evans. Xavier, who they also mention, is another playable char from FE5, one who is very infamous for having what is quite possibly the MOST CONVOLUTED RECRUITMENT REQUIREMENTS IN THE SERIES.

(The wooden display Chulainn mentions is based off the Gavle Goat. …Probably misspelled something there, and I do apologize for it. Also, yes, when Alicia described her 'weird smile' in past chapters, she really was just smiling brightly and/or beaming. She's just so unused to it that she thought it was weird.)