Westminster was quite lovely in the snow. She had spent so many of her winters either at Hogwarts or in Dublin that she never really got to see much of London. Severus was obviously uncomfortable, maneuvering through crowds of tourists in the dark streets. The snow still fell rather heavily, Katherine drawing her coat tighter around her body. Groups of people lined the sidewalks, drunken laughter echoing from every street corner. Cheer and high spirits floated through the air, Christmas Eve traffic at a standstill. Kate took in the sights around her; the decorated and lit storefronts and bustling pubs, the view of Big Ben from where she stood. Peddlers stood on the sidewalks, selling toys and flowers to last minute shoppers. Severus was a few steps behind her, caught behind a family of tourists. She stepped back against a storefront, allowing the family to pass in front of her, turning to walk beside a less than excited Severus.
"Would you not wander off, Katherine? Walking with you is like walking with a child." He snapped.
She rolled her eyes, "What are you going to do then, Severus? Hold my hand?"
Severus huffed, tightening his scarf. The winds were not nearly as bitter as those in Hogsmeade, but still enough to make her wish that she had brought her own with her. She and Severus walked in silence, occasionally bumping shoulders with others on the street. Severus hated coming into the city, finding muggles rude and inconsiderate. But watched her smile in the snow, the street lights shining in her eyes, he was a little more willing to endure the annoyances of the city for a night. A woman rushed down the sidewalk, bumping shoulders with the both of them as she split the middle between the two. Annoyance washed over Katherine's face, Severus laughing when she made a face. Another block passed, the two slowing their pace. "Where are we going, Sev?"
He cringed at the nickname she used, the image of the green eyes that had given it to him so many years before. Hearing it brought so many old wounds to the surface; painful memories of the little redheaded girl that he had lost. The last time he had been in the city had been with Lily and her family, Petunia keeping a comfortable distance to do her judging. But the years had passed, and that girl was gone. He snapped back to reality, looking down at Katherine. He always forgot how short she was, just reaching his shoulder. "We shall be there shortly," he said, eyes locked on the street ahead of him. Ahead of them, a bum stood on the quarter, shouting nonsense into the clear dark sky. Kate stepped closer to Severus, her small gloved fingers wrapping around his arm. He chuckled, lifting his arm and allowing her to slip hers into his. She glanced down at her arm twisted around his, trying to hide the little smile that stretched across her lips, Severus left to determine if the pink that blossomed on her cheeks was from the cold.
Katherine didn't pull her arm away, enjoying the warmth that came from being so close. For as pale and cold as he looked, Severus was a walking furnace as she had learned earlier while lying in bed beside him. It was quite strange, sharing his bed, but she couldn't hide that it had come with a certain comfort. When she had woke, she found herself sprawled out on his chest, his arm draped over her, their legs tangled together in a heap of limbs. His head was rolled towards her, his lips barely brushing against her forehead. In her half awaken state, she had sighed and pressed closer against his warmth. Severus stirred slightly at her movements, inhaling through his nose and pulling her closer. Their bodies fit together so perfectly under the sheets, Kate ignoring just how wrong the situation was. She thought back to the night before as she laid there in his arms; the panic and fear that had bubbled in her chest when her bedroom door had swung open, Frank stumbling into her room and screaming about god knows what. Severus had made her feel so safe. Made her feel wanted and cared for.
She squinted at the fading lights of a rundown marquis glowed through the snowfall, Kate's lips stretching into a smile as she read the bold lettering. "Severus, how did you know?"
"You mentioned in your letter that you were looking forward to practicing ballet over the break," Severus said, admiring the glow in the young woman's eyes, "Since our circumstances have changed, I assumed this would do."
Kate read over the marquis again: The Nutcracker. Families bustled around the two, calling out hellos and taking refuge in the warmth of the theatre, stomping out their boots before they entered. "Severus, that's so thoughtful," she said, taken aback but the considerate thought of the usually brooding professor.
He rolled his eyes, embarrassed by the gesture and the way she reacted. She smiled, happiness radiating from the girl, a strange feeling taking over Severus. He felt ridiculous, going out of his way for a student, nonetheless. What the hell was wrong with him? "Well, don't stand out here, Katherine," he snapped, Katherine smiling still, her gloved hand taking his own. Her fingers curled between his, Severus enjoying the weight of her hand in his own. He didn't flinch, or pull away, or yank his hand away from hers; but rather resented the moment he would have to let go, trying to hide the smile that glowed from his face as she led him into the theatre.
The warmth of the building rushed over them as they stepped into the building's small foyer, the waltzy compositions lingering above the abundance of people standing in groups, chatting excitedly. Children dressed as fairies and toy soldiers stood posted at the theatre entrance, stacks of glossy programs piled high in their arms, distributing them to theatre-goers as they entered with shy smiles. Severus watched as Katherine maneuvered through the crowd ahead of him, curls falling over her shoulder when she bent down to take a program from a young boy, smiling as she thanked him. Severus hated crowds, and children were not necessarily on the top of his list either. But in the crowded room, with oblivious others bumping around and the metallic sound of classical scores being butchered by muggle speakers, at was as if she stood alone. He stood behind her, eyes fixed upon her as she straightened and turned, gesturing for him to follow her into the theatre. He followed her down the aisle, muttering his annoyance under his breath as they shimmied in front of a large seated family to fill two empty seats. The theatre filled in around them, Kate scanning the venue with wide eyes. "I used to dance in a theatre like this," she said, Severus watching the sparkle in her eyes, "Back when I was young. Oh Severus, I'm so excited."
As she spoke, telling him of old recitals, he watched her. This was all so ridiculous. How foolish he must look taking her here. How desperate. Again, he reminded himself of the inappropriate nature of their position. And yet, here he was, beside her in the theatre where he used to sit beside Lily. Her family had taken him to the same performance many years ago. Yet sitting beside the young blonde, it felt like a new experience.
Before long, the lights had dimmed, the audience laughing at the sight of little feet bustling about in the gap under the curtain where the stage lights shone through. Kate's eyes danced when the curtains opened, children filling the stage in ornate costumes, a wide grin plastered to her face. But Severus found his attention straying from the March of the Toy Soldiers, his eyes transfixed on Kate as she watched. The dances came and ended, scores rolling into one another, yet her smile never left. He wondered what ran through her mind as she watched; if watching the performance brought back memories from her childhood, or if it caused her heart to long for her father. Whatever she thought, he hoped it to be fond. She glanced over at him, catching his stare. He looked away, hoping that she wouldn't notice, but to his dismay he heard her stifle a laugh.
The performance came to end after what felt to an eternity to Severus. He never understood why there was such a necessity to dress children up and force others to watch their horrific dancing. The theatre lights illuminated the small theatre, everyone in a hurry to evacuate into the foyer. Annoyance came over Severus as he shuffled his way through an almost unmoving crowd, pushing his way towards the exit. "Bloody hell," he muttered, a stout elderly man connecting shoulder with him. He stopped when he felt cold fingers slip into his own, Katherine trying not to lose him in the growing sea of bodies.
The two exited out into the streets, Katherine slipping her arm into his. The damned girl was getting far too comfortable with hanging on to him, but Severus didn't seem to mind. "That was absolutely precious, don't you agree Severus?"
" 'Precious' is quite the stretch, isn't it, Miss Blakewood?"
She rolled her eyes, looking up at the dark man, "Oh please, Severus, you must have enjoyed yourself. You brought me here."
"I brought you here because of your tastes, Katherine. Not my own."
"You were humming along, Severus."
"I do not hum, Katherine," he snapped, looking down at her. Her doe like eyes were turned up to him, moonlight shining on her face in the same way it did on the night they met at the Astronomy Tower, "And it wasn't completely unbearable." He rolled her eyes at the smirk that her lips curled into.
The couple continued down the snowy streets, the bright sounds of laughter and clinking glasses ricocheting down the streets from a bustling pub on the corner. Severus caught sight of her in the street lights once again, snowflakes falling around her head and sticking to her hair, the light casting on them, giving her an angelic glow. Fitting for the holiday, Severus had thought. She glowed, but not in a visible way, not in a way he could describe. "The children were very cute," she chattered, Severus wondering how long it would take for her to cease her constant yammering, "The little girls who were the flowers just made me melt."
"Typical women," he teased, Kate looking up at him, a quizzical look on her face.
"Surely you want children someday, don't you Severus?"
Severus paused, processing her question. He chuckled; surly she couldn't be serious. Him? With children? His father had been absent enough in his own life, and his students were enough for him to consider a lifetime of abstinence. "Do I really strike you as the fatherly type, Miss Blakewood?"
She glanced up at him quickly, her eyes returning to the streets in front of her, the small pub glowing brighter as they drew closer. They walked in silence for a few steps before she spoke, "I think you would be an excellent father, Severus." Before he could respond, she pulled him towards the entrance of the pub, "C'mon now, buy me a drink,"
He watched her small frame disappear into the sea of drunken muggles, pausing for a moment in the doorway. Her words puzzled him, but then again, she was a puzzling creature. She slid into an empty stool at the bar, shouting to the bartender over music and conversations that were too loud. Severus stepped into the pub, the door swinging shut and cutting off the chill the crept in from outside. Severus hated crowds like this; the drunken shouts and stumbling idiots, conversations that were far too loud, muggles who were way too obnoxious, and cheap beer that smelled of piss. But he found her, just the same as the theatre, to be the only thing his eyes could find in the crowded room. He had never seen Lily like that. He could pick her flaming locks out of a crowd, but the unfamiliar faces had always remained around her. Katherine pulled him to her with this unseen force that he couldn't comprehend. When he searched for her face, it was the only face he could see. However, Severus found that this newfound tunnel vision was rather comfortable as he pushed through the crowd towards here.
The bartender slid a pint in front of her, the inky dark Guinness sloshing over the rim and onto the counter. Severus slid into the stool next to her, muttering out his drink, Kate taking a long pull from her drink that Severus though to be far too large for her otherwise petite stature. She set her glass down, wiping the remaining liquid from her lip with the pad of her thumb. The bartender put Severus' whiskey down in front of him, Severus tipping the glass back and emptying the contents. He frowned; muggle whisky had always been so much weaker than what he had grown accustom to, but it would have to do for the night. An empty bottle of fire whiskey sat on is desk in the study, and the remaining headache served as a reminder of the night before. He took in the sight of her, draining her glass, chatting with the people seated around them. It was almost as if the previous night never happened to her, her ever-present chipper spirit filling the entire room. He found her constant chattering to be an annoyance, but she remained bright even in her darkest of times, and that he admired. He was envious of it, really.
Katherine laughed at something one of the bar patrons said, tossing her head back like a child would. Her curls fell down her back, still damp from the snowfall. Her nose crinkled when she laughed, Severus noticed the crooked bottom tooth in her wide crooked smile. She leaned towards him, "This place, it reminds me of the pub my aunt owns back home," she told him, Severus leaning in slightly to hear her over the crowd, "We would spend every Christmas Eve there before midnight mass. Drinking, dancing, singing," she emptied her glass, waving the bartender over for another drink.
Severus nodded, "Somehow, that doesn't surprise me."
She laughed, turning back to the woman she had engaged in conversation when she sat down. Drink followed drink, both recognizing the familiar buzzing, Severus thoughts straying back to the night they had spent in his quarters, the same pinkiness creeping across Kate's cheeks as another empty glass clattered against the table. Severus had turned his shoulders towards her, watching her giggle and sway on her stool. They talked, they laughed, and Severus watched her. He watched her face go pink, listened as her words slurred into each other, her bell like laughter brewing a warmth in his stomach. She went to rest her foot on the rung on her stool, her foot slipping and causing her to lurch forward. She grabbed his thigh, steadying herself, the twosome bursting into a shared drunken laughter. He took her arm, Katherine still leaning into him, "Why is it that every time I fall, you're always around to catch me?" she laughed, turning her face up towards his.
He could smell the Guinness heavy on her breath, her breath warm on his face, "I could never bear to watch you hurt yourself, Katherine," he said, the sincerity of his words shocking even himself.
Katherine's hand found his cheek, her lips pressing against his in a gentle kiss. Her hand slipped across the counter, fingertips musing with his own before he finally curled his fingers around hers. Her lips tasted the same as they had many months before, Katherine sinking in to their kiss, taking in the way their lips meshed together. Severus rested a hand on her leg, the both of them clumsy in their inebriated state. Onlookers whistled and jeered, Katherine pulling away from their kiss, touching her forehead to his. "I think it's time we leave," Katherine laughed, shaking her head. Severus threw the night's bill on to the counter, turning to stand. He held his hand out for Katherine, the two maneuvering their way through the dwindling crowd and into the bitter cold once more.
The snow had started to fall heavily, coming down in a thick white curtain. Severus watched as Katherine wandered ahead of him, arms outstretched, turning herself in a circle in the snowfall in a fit of giggles. Severus rolled his eyes, "Keep yourself together, Miss Blakewood," he jeered, looking on the beautiful drunk woman as she steadied herself on a light post, hanging to it and swaying herself from side to side.
"I am absolutely fine, Severus," she laughed, "And if I counted correctly, you've had just as much to drink as I've had." She raised her brows, looking up at him from under her lashed as he approached the post, resting a gloved hand on the cold metal.
"With as much as you have had, I'm surprised that you can count," he chided, chuckling as he lowered his lips to hers once more.
His lips brushed against hers, his cold nose bumping against hers. Snowflakes stuck to her lashes, Severus pulled her to him, her frame pressing against him. He blamed the sudden bravery on the alcohol, yet he felt no remorse in his actions. Holding her to him, the warmth of her in his arms, felt nature and new in a way that made his heart beat faster. He didn't want to let her go. He didn't know what was wrong with him, why he was allowing himself to act like a lovesick child. He spent so many years building up walls to shut people out, became the strict elusive man that his students despised, yet she saw something that he could find in himself; something he though had died with a girl named after a flower. But he held her, and he didn't want to let go. And he hoped that he would not have to. That he could continue to live the moment, no matter how brief it may be.
"Please don't feel like you have to do this," she whispered, "Like you have to kiss me. We've been driving and I don't want you to come to regret your actions."
He lifted a hand, his fingers touching her cheek. His movements were slow and hesitant, trying to let go of the many years he spent trying to avoid the touch of another. But she looked up at him, and he held her, "I could never regret you."
Her lips crashed against his, her thin frame shaking with shivers, yet she felt as if she were exploding with warmth. Severus eased into her kiss, lips moving against each other; careful, gentle, reserved. "Happy Christmas, Kate," he whispered into her lips, feeling her smile into their kiss. How cliché they must have looked, embracing each other in the snow. Snowflakes stuck to their hair, soaking their clothing as they stood under the dim glow of the street light.
"Happy Christmas, Severus."
Neither of them seemed to notice the loud pop as their feet found solid ground in the entry way of Spinner's End, their lips still pressed to each other. Severus fumbled with his coat, his lips never leaving hers as he discarded the wet wool. Katherine made quick work of the buttons of her own, Severus reaching behind her to help her remove it, the couple laughing as they stumbled over each other's boots as they kicked them off into the dark hallway. He held her tight to him, her fingers knotted in his hair. Kate's soft sighs echoed down the hallway, Severus's tongue dragging along her bottom lip. She captured his own between her teeth, tugging and giggling as he pulled her against him, a moan growling from deep in his throat. Her fingers started at the buttons of his shirt, the two captured in a clumsy, passionate battle for dominance. Severus peeled off the button down, tossing it to the growing pile of discarded clothing as they made their way up the staircase, still wrapped up in each other.
Nerves joined the primal feelings that pulsed through him as they neared the bedroom door, realizing what was to come if the continued on the path they were currently on. Katherine backed into the bedroom door, Severus taking her face in his hands, trailing kisses from her lips to her neck as she fumbled for the doorknob, the heavy door swinging open and bouncing against the wall as Severus backed her into the dark room. Her hands trailed up his chest, Severus's hands exploring every inch of her. Part of him screamed for him to stop; if the Headmaster were to find out, he would surely be out of a job. His reputation would be destroyed, and Katherine's as well. The retributions of his actions would severe. But the taste of her lips silenced those cries.
"You can tell me to stop," he whispered, the two crashing into the bed, "If this is causing you any discomfort, Kate, you can tell me to stop. I don't want you to feel as if you are obligated to-."
"Severus," she took his face in her hands, her eyes boring into his. Even in the darkness, he could see the mischievous glint that glittered in her brown eyes, glassy and aglow, "You will never be an obligation."
He smiled down at her, brushing her wild hair from her face before kissing her once more. Quickly, her thick sweater found its way to the bedroom floor, nerves heightening for the both of them as passion quickly built again. Severus fumbled with her trousers, pulling the damp denim off her hips, Katherine kicking them off as he slid them down her legs. He looked down upon her, her skin pale against the simple cotton bra and panties she wore, his trousers growing tighter. He rolled his eyes over her, taking in the sight of her, Katherine smiling up at him shyly. "You're absolutely stunning," he whispered, his fingertips tracing up her sides, chuckling when she shivered at the feather light touch.
Katherine's body trembled, "Severus, I've never done this before."
He pressed his forehead to hers, one hand curled in his hair, the other on his chest. "Neither have I," he whispered, lifting himself over her, "Are you-are you sure this is what you want, Katherine?"
She nodded, smiling up at him. She pulled him to her, her lips finding his, "I will always want you, Severus."
He leaned down, sliding his hands up her thighs and taking her hips in his hands. He lowered himself over her, a warmth growing deep in Kate's stomach as he brought his lips to her neck. He trailed up her neck, pressing a light kiss to her earlobe, hooking his fingers around the smooth fabric of her panties. Kate lifted her hips and allowed him to pull them off, the lacy garment joining the rest of their clothing in the pile on the bedroom floor. His fingers mused between her legs, Kate moaning at his touch, craving more. Katherine's fingers found the zipper of his trousers, Severus yanking them off with one hand as he pressed kisses to her neck. They were both unsure of what to do, but the nerves melted away as they laughed in the dark, bodies bumping together awkwardly, completely lost in each other. The wind blew beyond the windowpanes, the gentle roaring melding with the sounds of their bodies rustling over the bedsheets; a symphony of soft gasps and sighs as their bodies melted into each other. Severus positioned himself over her, hoping that she couldn't hear his head pounding in his chest as he looked down at her, prepared for her to tell him that she had changed her mind. She surely couldn't want this. Not him. Not like this. No one had ever looked at him in the way she had. But her smile and nod just encouraged him to go on, and Severus felt a burning warmth in his chest that he hadn't felt in years. Not since her. Not since Lily.
Happiness. She made him, the dark brooding potions master, irrevocably, blissfully, wholly happy. And he hoped that he, somehow, made her feel the same.
His lips came crashing down against hers once more as he filled her. He was gentle, pausing when her face twisted with discomfort and waiting for her permission to carry on. He held her as he pumped into her, certain tenderness in the moment that he had never shared with another before. He whispered to her as their bodies moved in rhythm, telling her sweet things that he never thought he had the capacity to say. He didn't know that sex could be this beautiful; this magical. He didn't know that it could be this warm and fulfilling. He remembered hearing the boys in his dormitory talking about their sexual endeavors back during his time as a student, rolling his eyes as they discussed their experiences, chalking it up to nothing but a meaningless pastime. But as he moved in her warmth, her face buried in his neck, arms wrapped around him, he felt a closeness that he had been lacking for such a long time. She gasped, Severus pausing and looking down at her, "Are you alright?"
She nodded, reaching up to touch his face, "I'm more than alright."
He smiled, kissing her again and rocking deeper into her. Kate closed her eyes, waves of pleasure rippling through her body as Severus's moans intensified. His hand found hers, fingers twisting together like vines on a trellis. She gasped as her body erupted in pleasure, Severus tightening his grip on her hand as he that familiar hitch in his back, hissing and mentally kicking himself for finishing so early, calling her name out into the dark. They collapsed into each other, his head on her chest and her fingers combing through his hair as they caught their breath. They were silent for want seemed like an eternity, Katherine holding him close to her as he both faded into a sleepy bliss. The snow continued to fall, Severus listening to the wind blow outside. Katherine gasped, Severus jumping at the sudden rise of her chest, "Bloody hell, Katherine! What is it?"
"Oh, Severus! We forgot to get a Christmas tree!"
To my beloved readers, thank you for all of your incredible support of this story. I apologize from the bottom of my heart for such a delay in updating; after a rather tumultuous breakup and an increase in workload as I work through my major, life got the best of me. I hope to update quite regularly as life calms down.
Please review,
DGAGP xx