Chapter 10: Scars

Sunlight crept through the snow dusted window pane, the petite woman rolling to her side to block out the unwelcome light. Her dark-haired companion stirred beside her, eyes blinking open and adjusting in the pale morning glow. The sound of skin moving under linens was soothing and sensual, a noise that had become comforting in the six mornings since she had come to share his bed, filled the bedroom as Kate moved next to him, her hair falling over face. Severus' lips turned into a gentle smile as he brushed her curls back, pressing a kiss to her forehead. He had come to enjoy her presence in his home since she had come tumbling through his fireplace. She brought a warmth to the dark and dreary home that Severus didn't realize it was lacking, and the warmth she brought to his bed was that of passion and pure bliss that made him feel cared for and wanted and like more of a man than the professor who spent his days imposing his sadness and loathing onto his students. He never thought that one of them would find their way into his bed, and as much as it annoyed him to admit it to himself, he was being to not loathe her presence early as much as he thought he would.

He drew the blankets back, careful not to disturb her as he got out of bed. He sat on the side of the bed for a moment, dragging his fingers through his sleep tousled hair before snatching a sweater discarded the night before from the bedroom floor, pulling it over his head as he rose and made his way to the door, turning to make sure he hadn't woken her. His eyes rolled over her naked frame under his sheets, her hair a cloud of frizz and kinked curls spread across his pillow. He had imagined how the bedsheets would fall over her body so many nights before, laying alone in his chambers at Hogwarts after one of their grading sessions, buzzing off fire whisky as he pictured the contrast of the linens against the creamy skin of her breasts. Now there was nothing left to the imagination as the young Gryffindor slept. And Merlin's Beard, did she sleep. Severus figured he had a solid hour or two before Kate would join him downstairs. He didn't necessarily mind, for it would allow him some peace in which he could grade and enjoy his morning tea before she would come crashing through the silence like a bull in a china shop.

He stepped into the kitchen, removing a clean cup from the cupboard. Tilly had put on the kettle on before he had left the bed, Severus standing in front of the kitchen window and watching the rain that had replaced the snow drizzle down the pane. He took a biscuit out of a tin on the counter, appreciating the fact that Kate kept the house well stocked with food. He was always lousy at that.

"A little dry, don't you think?"

Severus jumped, dropping the biscuit into the sink as he snapped to face the old man in his kitchen. Severus' eyes widened, yet Albus stood unfazed, picking a blueberry out of the biscuit. He looked up at the young man over moon shaped spectacles, offering him a kind smile as he set his morning treat on the counter. "Aren't you going to offer me a cup of tea, Seveus?"

"Sir, I-."

Albus raised a hand, cutting the potions master off midsentence. He lowered himself into one of the rickety wooden chairs seated around the spindly kitchen table, his eyes stern and never leaving Severus as he sat. The two sat in an uncomfortable silence, the old man's icy eyes boring into the young man. Severus' eyes kept glancing to the staircase, hoping that Kate was still asleep and out of the older wizard's sight. Severus gripped the counter top, hoping Albus wouldn't notice how hard they were shaking. He jumped again when the kettle began to whistle, breaking the almost deafening silence. He was quick to snatch it off of the stove top, silencing the screaming kettle before it could wake her and cause her to come questioning. He quickly poured the Headmaster a cup, preparing it the way he had seen him do some many times before and handing it to his senior. Albus accepted it graciously, yet the same stoic expression remained.

"There have been rumors, Severus."

"Of what sort, sir?"

"Surely, you know what I am speaking of, my dear boy."

Severus swallowed hard, bringing his own cup to his lips and swallowing the still hot liquid, ignoring the way it burned on the way down. He couldn't know, could he? He had thought that they had done a decent job keeping their relationship quiet. Relationship. Is that what they had? Severus was unsure of what to call their coupling. The entire engagement had been so strange, so unordinary. He had no idea what he was to the woman who slept in his bed. And what a juvenile thing to worry about; the title of what this all was. What their secret romance could be labeled as. And how inappropriate for him to be considering that label as his employer stared at him, questioning his relationship with his student.

"Is she here now, Severus?"

Severus felt himself go cold as all the color drained from his face. He swallowed, but found that his mouth had gone dry. He nodded, slowly, unable to find the words. He opened his mouth, closed it, and opened it again, "She's asleep, sir."

"How long has she been here?"

"Six days."

Albus exhaled loudly, shaking his head, "Merlin's Beard, Severus, what were you thinking?"

Severus let out a strangled breath, "I didn't mean for it to become this-."

"Yet," Albus interjected, "You did nothing to stop it. How long has this been going on, Severus?"

"Albus, I can explain,"

"How long?" The headmaster fumed.

Severus hung his head, trying to hide the evident shame, like a young boy who had been caught by his mother doing something naughty. He sighed, dragging his hands over his face, "It began in September, sir. I tried to do the right thing, I tried to cut things off. But after her injury, things began again. Albus, please don't…"

"What?" Dumbledore's voice almost boomed through the kitchen, Severus sure that the old wizard had cast some sort of silencing spell through the rest of the house. Anger flashed dangerously in his eyes as he spoke, "Fire you? I have half a mind to. Did you really think it wise to become involved with a student? And try to hide it from me? What did you imagine would happen if I caught wind of this? If the Ministry heard of it? A professor shagging one of his students. And with your history, no less, it would become a nightmare for both you and the girl."

"You don't understand," Severus said, regretting the words as soon as they left his lips.

Dumbledore's eyes narrowed, "Enlighten me then, Severus."

"I-," Severus paused, considering how ridiculous the words tasted on his lounge before they spluttered from him, "I think I may be in love with her."

Albus chuckled, "You think you may love her? Really, Severus. You think that with the role you play you're capable of entertaining that? Does she even know who you are, my dear boy? Who you really are? What you have done?"

Severus' fingertips brushed over his left forearm, brushing the mark of his past through the wool of his sweater. He had been careful to hide it from her; never pushing up his sleeves, and choosing positions that kept the scarred skin hidden from her in the dark as they made love. It was an underlying reason as to why he would wake before her, sure to cover himself with a sweater before she woke. He was terrified of what she would think of him if she knew of who he was. It was no secret that he had fallen into the grips of the wrong crowd during his youth, but if she knew the terrible things he had done; knew of the Dark Mark that was etched into his skin, a constant reminder of the monster her allowed himself to fall victim too, he couldn't bear to know what she would think of him. She would think him to be a monster. She would run from him leaving him behind her like the girl named after a flower so many years before. He had already lost Lily. He couldn't lose her too. This was the first time in his life that he had ever felt needed and cared for, and he couldn't risk losing that. She had made him feel whole, and although he teased her for her affectionate ways, he couldn't imagine sleeping alone again. He couldn't picture his days without waking up to her face again, her hair a damn mess and her drool staining the pillow case. His afternoons would feel empty without her stealing kisses as he graded, the silence without her strange muggle music and constant chatter maddening. He couldn't stand the thought of being without his Katherine. His Katherine. What a foreign thought. His student come lover. She repaired a part of him that had always felt broken.

Albus raised his eyebrows at the professor, "It has to end, Severus. You must know that."

"I've already hurt her before, Albus, I can't do that again."

Albus rose from his seat, looking around the small kitchen before returning his gaze back to Severus, "I am not going to terminate you from the staff, Severus. I should, but your espionage is far to valuable. But I will not be taking that path."

Severus released a breath that he wasn't aware he was holding, relieved. He hoped the old wizard would leave soon. After this he needed a stiff drink and to crawl back under the sheets with her. Albus sensed the man's relief, holding up his hand, "However, by the time you return back to Hogwarts, I expect this escapade to come to an end. This is the last I want to hear of this." Severus opened his mouth to protest, but the wizard interrupted once more, "I believe that I have made myself clear, Severus. Do not force me to take actions that I do not wish to take," he said, peeking into the tin on the counter once more sorting through the sweets, "And you must consider, Severus; do you truly love her? Or is she simply filling the void that Lily Potter left behind?"

Severus' heart was in his throat, his stomach in knots over Albus' demand. The old man lifted several sweets, "May I?" he said, pocketing the treats, "It really is a shame, Severus, she is a lovely girl. Someone like that would do you some good. What a pity that she had to come to you in this way." He smiled, giving Severus' arm a fond squeeze, "Enjoy the rest of your holiday, Severus. I will be seeing you soon."

"Good morning."

Severus turned, eyes wide when he saw her on the staircase, smiling at him with sleep mused hair. He glanced back, the old wizard now absent from his kitchen. The old bastard. Curiosity mused over her face, her brows raising as she joined him in the kitchen, "Is everything alright? You look like you've seen a ghost."

He was unsure to say, looking upon the woman he was no longer allowed to be with. She was wearing one of his sweaters with her lounge pants, just like every morning, her mass of blonde frizz gathered into something reminiscent of a bun. Sleep was still gathered in the corners of her eyes. She was magnificent. He nodded, gathering her into his arms, holding her tight, afraid that she would fade away if he let her go. He pressed a kiss to her head, an act that was still very new to him, "Yes," he lied, "Yes, darling, everything is just fine."

She looked up at him, the wide grin confirming her pleasure with the out of character pet name. He pressed a kiss to her lips, desperate to keep her as close to him as possible. She still tasted of the wine from the night before. He pulled her close to him again, enjoying the warmth of her body against his in their embrace. He already missed the way she felt in his arms. His heart already ached for her even though they had two more days together, the young blonde unaware of the looming deadline. But he held her.

God, he loved her.

My darling readers,

Thank you so much for your patience! I would love to have a reason as to why I made you all wait so long for this chapter, but quite rankly, I do not have a good excuse other than the fact that I lost my way with this story. I have had many ideas as to where I want to go next, but have been hopelessly unsure of how to translate that into text. I now have an idea of where I want to go with Severus and Kate's relationship and have so much in store for you all. I hope to be updated much more regularly, but please bear with me. Thank you all for loving Severus and Kate as much as I do and being a part of this love story.

With love,

DCAGP xo