Kendall remembers the day Iverson was born like it was yesterday. Sophie was a few months old when they adopted her, so Iverson was the first time he got to do the whole new father bit of getting Fikret to drive them to the private hospital and waiting around anxiously while Rava spent hours in labour. In the end Iverson had to be delivered by C-section. Kendall was right there in the delivery room, was the first person besides the surgeon to see his son, even before Rava did. It was love at first sight.
Now, pacing up and down in another private hospital, he checks his watch anxiously. It's been a while since they heard anything. Shiv had booked an elective caesarean months in advance, but had gone into early labour and by the time Tom had got her to the hospital it was too late. The baby was coming quickly.
"Will you sit down, dude?" says Roman from where he's sitting. Connor is sitting next to him, looking like Kendall feels. He wonders if their father would have attended as well, for the birth of his first blood grandchild. It's a girl, so maybe not.
"Shouldn't she have had it by now?" Kendall asks abruptly. They've been waiting forever. Roman immediately launches into everything he's learned about childbirth. He's like a walking Wikipedia entry these days.
By the time Tom comes to get them, Roman has actually fallen asleep on Connor's shoulder. Kendall jumps to his feet immediately.
"How is she?" he asks, terrified of what Tom is about to say. He remembers grabbing at Shiv that terrible day in the office, maybe he did some damage—
"They're both fine," says Tom, breaking into a huge smile. After a beat Kendall hugs him. Connor is shaking Roman awake.
They enter the delivery room to find Shiv sitting up in bed, holding a tiny creature with a thin layer of red hair. She smiles at her brothers and Roman is the first to throw his arms around her. He pulls back to look at the baby anxiously. "Shouldn't she be crying?"
"Relax, she's fine." Shiv holds out the baby to Roman, who takes her gingerly.
"Are you okay, baby?" asks Connor, bending down to kiss Shiv's sweaty brow.
"Yeah. I understand why Mom hates us now. That hurt like a motherfucker."
"Don't swear in front of…" Roman hisses, nodding at his niece.
"Can I?" Connor holds out his arms and Roman passes him the baby.
Kendall is still standing in the corner with Tom. Shiv looks at him. "Hey. Come meet your niece."
Slowly, Kendall approaches the bed and perches on the end. Connor places the tiny infant in his arms. She blinks at Kendall with bright blue eyes.
"She's beautiful," Kendall chokes out, aware of everybody's eyes on him, or on the baby anyway.
"Her name's Kendall," says Shiv. "Kendall Rose Wambsgans."
"Fuck off." Kendall looks at Shiv, ignoring Roman's sudden aversion to swearing.
"I'm serious." Shiv looks at Tom, who nods in confirmation. "We both like the name."
"So just because he has a fucking girl's name he gets memorialised?" Roman feigns outrage.
"Oh, relax, Romulus. You can be the godfather." Shiv rolls her eyes.
Kendall holds his niece like he did baby Iverson, the muscle memory coming back to him. He moves up the bed to be closer to Shiv.
"Is she really called Kendall?" he asks. "You're not fucking with me?"
"Seriously guys, language around the baby?" says Connor.
"Yeah, we don't want her first words to be 'fuck off'," says Roman in a good imitation of their father.
"It seemed the least I could do," says Shiv. Maybe this is her way of making up for taking his dream away from him, or of letting him know that she forgives him for everything.
"And Rose, after Pa's sister," says Connor. "It's perfect, Siobhan."
"But if you have a boy next it'll be Romulus, right?" Roman persists.
"Uh uh." Shiv shakes her head. "I am never doing that again."
Kendall tunes out the twins' mock-bickering as he stares into the eyes of his baby niece. He hasn't felt love like this since his own kids arrived and in that moment he knows that not only has he forgiven Shiv, he might one day be able to forgive himself as well.
He's a real person again.