Chapter 4

I fancy get dressed up and going to a banquet, what historically important banquets would be fun. Looking up at my TARDIS console I tell her to chose somewhere fun to go and make my way to the TARDIS wardrobe.

My TARDIS wardrobe is huge, and consists of exclusively black clothes. What should I wear to a royal banquet, a long dress that is necessary for me not to look completely out of place, and a nice bag, a pair of flats, and jewellery.

The question though is first and foremost what dress. Rose would have worn something pink, or 'TARDIS' blue which should be revered to as police box blue but Rose had only seen The Great Doctors TARDIS. But I, The Widow will wear something black, but that doesn't narrow it down as I have a few hundred of black ball gowns. I think I want a full skirt, narrows it down to 500, maybe velvet, narrows it down to 154, long wide sleeves, narrows it down to 74, bloused bodice, narrows it down to 17, square neackline, narrows it down to 6, lots of embroidery, narrows it down to 1.

The dress I have chosen is rather lovely, I got it in Pulchratogis. I need to pair it with a belt, I think I will wear my wide black and silver belt with an elaborate buckle. What should I do with my hair, I normally just leave my hair down in messy curls but I am actually enjoying dressing up and might as well style my hair. I pull my hair up into an elaborate braided bun and insert a few jet and silver pins. The wardrobe is many stories tall and the jewellery is in a separate room. When I get to the room I pick up a string of jet beads with a large pearl pendant, but veto it and instead chose a silver locket studded with jet in the shape of a wolf. After choosing the necklace the rest of the jewellery is easy as I have matching earrings and bracelet that goes with the necklace. As for footwear I always wear black boots with silver tips, I would never wear anything else heals are just inconvenient and the tips are just useful for fights. I need to pick a bag because even though I have pockets that are bigger on the inside, but a bag just looks good.

My TARDIS has decided which banquet to take me to. I have never deliberately piloted my TARDIS anywhere, there is no point she will take me where I'm needed (it was her that suggested I went to a banquet and where my TARDIS tells me to go, I go) The Great Doctor always tried to control the TARDIS and she is not something to be controlled.

We land and I step out of my TARDIS to see that she has taken to form of one of the many abstract sculptures that are littered around, on the pedestal there is a plaque which reads Nontouxh Hancstatuam Factumper Magnavidua. The planet we have landed on is rather like earth, except clearly not earth as it has a purple sky.

A crowd of people are exiting what is clearly a Cathedral and a large carriage made entirely out of carved ruby makes its way to another impressive building. I assume that the carriage contains the new monarch and that the new building is where the banquet is being held.

This building is absolutely beautiful, made out of a semi-transparent rock. Obviously it is highly guarded so I reach into my clutch bag and pull out my psychic paper and show it to the guards.

"Hello, I am The Dowager Marctio Ocimumcaeli" I say to the guard who grunts and lets me in to the Banquet Hall which is beautiful and I take the seat I am shown to.

After three courses we get given a glass of Certenullumvenenum wine I sniff the wine and get a faint whiff of Egoteinterficiam which can't be right. Certenullumvenenum wine is made of Sapidumuvae I sniff the wine again and definitely smell Egoteinterficiam which is highly poisonous.

I leap up and shout "The wine is poisonous!"

Obviously hysteria ensues and the newly crowned king calls for the wine to be tested.

It's a good thing that I heard of the poisoning of King Finisuniversi, he was poisoned exactly the same way by switching the ingredients from Certenullumvenenum wine from Sapidumuvae to Egoteinterficiam. It was at his coronation banquet as well.

The wine tester comes says (really rather loudly) "King Finisuniversi, the wine has been found to be made out of poisonous berrys."

Wait did he say King Finisuniversi, am I at the banquet I have read about. No, No, No, No, No, this is bad, this is very bad, this means that one, there are about 300 people that are alive they should be dead, but even worse then that I caused a huge Paradox. Because if I hadn't heard of the ingredients in Certenullumvenenum wine being switched from this banquet because I checked the wine and told everyone, then I wouldn't have know to check the wine and then everyone would have died. Thus me telling everyone about the wine will have caused a huge paradox.

"Just to check you are the King Finisuniversi of the planet Paradoxon" I ask the King, he looks at me as if I was crazy and says "Yes, of course, how could you be ignorant of that."

Great, this is just great, it is definitely him, I have definitely caused a Paradox. There is a shrieking sound and the Reapers materialise. Oh this is just perfect.

I bolt for the TARDIS, and start slamming buttons and pulling leavers and twiddling buttons. I don't know how to fix this. Suddenly My TARDIS takes off into the Time Vortex.

"NO, NO, you stupid machine. We can't just leave them. This world is dying, we have to HELP!"

"It's more than just this world my wolf, this entire universe is ending."

I rench open my TARDIS doors and see fire, and flames and hear screams. Death and pain and destruction. Everything is ending because of me.

"LEAVE ME HEAR," I shriek at my TARDIS "LET ME DIE. I DESERVE TO DIE. LET ME FINALY DIE"

But my stupid TARDIS doesn't listen, I feel the familiar sensation of travelling through the void, and know that my TARDIS has somehow managed to save me. But why, why leave me alive while everyone dies. Why could I not have finally died. Why why why why why.

I am The Widow

I am the Immortal Woman

I am the Killer of Evil

I am the Saviour of The Universe

And There's No One I Hate More Then The Doctor

Poor Rose, I know I did a really bad job at explaining the paradox but basically she hear about a wine being made from poisonous berry's because of a story about a banquet where everyone died, but she went to the banquet and told people not to drink the poison and so she couldn't have heard about poisonous berry's being made into wine, thus a paradox. I doubt that would destroy the universe but for the story it had to.

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