Disclaimer: I still don't own Castle. But unlike last week I now do own tickets for The Eras Tour! And not just some nosebleed seats tickets, no. My sister and I decided to not buy presents for each other the next five years and instead get VIP tickets and now we'll be standing right in front of the stage. So I'll definitely have to finish this story before July 2024 because there's a good chance I'll just drop dead in case Taylor Swift looks at me.
Okay, now back to Castle. First, thank you so so much for the very nice reviews to the last chapter!
Those of you who watched Modern Family may recognize at least parts of Castle's speech about parenthood from Jay's speech in s11e14. I love this scene and it just fitted too perfectly not to use it. So I add to my disclaimer that I also don't own Modern Family.
Next thing: I have absolutely no clue about colleges in the US or the system of colleges/universities in general. There's only one university that came to my mind and that is the University of Michigan. And that's because it's the founding place of Team Starkid (hands up if anyone knows them!). So I thought it would be worth a visit.
Okay, that's enough talking. Enjoy the chapter!
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On the drive back to Castle's loft they made a quick stop at Kate's place so she could pack some things for the upcoming days. She just couldn't imagine going back to her apartment and spending the nights there alone. No, she wanted to stay in that happy little bubble she just entered and spend as much time with Castle as possible. She could also convince him to wait a few more days before telling their families. She wasn't afraid of that anymore but she wanted to keep it to themselves just a little bit longer to absorb this feeling she had been missing and yet longed for over the last few weeks. And she wanted to do that without having to deal with the reactions of others. Castle was eager to tell at least Alexis but at that moment she could have asked anything from him and he wouldn't have been able to deny it.
When they were on their way back to his place Alexis texted if they wanted to have dinner together and whether they could get something to eat. So they stopped at Castle's favorite Mexican Restaurant and a little later returned to the loft to find Alexis and Martha already waiting for them. Kate was able to dim her smile a little and whispered to Castle that he should stop grinning like an idiot as they sat down. But there was no use in trying to hide their great mood.
They started eating and Alexis eyed Kate a little confused. "So, did you manage to solve your case today?" The young redhead asked her. "Mhm?" Kate looked at her just as puzzled as she got torn out of her thoughts. "Well, you seem so happy now while this morning it was the other way around." "Oh." Kate smiled at Alexis. She sometimes forgot how attentive this girl was. "Yes, we had the breakthrough we've been waiting for." That didn't really feel like a lie even though she knew she'd barely wasted a thought on their current case today. Tomorrow that would have to change.
Alexis smiled happily. "That's great!" She looked at her father who was simply happy to see exchanges like this between two of the most important people in his life. "So…" Alexis started and gave him the soft little smile he knew all too well and that made the magic of the moment fade. "Since everyone is in such a good mood today, could I ask you for something?" He took a sip from his drink and looked at his daughter. "Could I stop you from doing so?" Alexis just kept on smiling at him.
"Anna asked me if I would like to join her on a trip to Michigan to visit some colleges." Castle almost choked on his rice. "You're considering going to Michigan?" Alexis gave him a slightly unnerved glare. "No, I don't, calm down, Dad. But Anna does and she joined me on all of my visits, so it wouldn't be fair to tell her to go alone." Castle sighed relieved. "Oh, okay. Yeah, you're right, you shouldn't let her go alone."
The sneaky little smile returned to Alexis's face. "And since the weather is so nice we thought it would be a good idea to add a little summer vacation at Lake Michigan before we have to face the hardships of college?" He looked at her while taking another sip from his wine. "Is that a statement or a question?" Alexis's smile grew a little wider while her fork pushed the food around her plate. "A little bit of both." She said a little hesitant. "That we want to go on this vacation is a statement. The question is, whether you would be willing to give me a little financial support for it? Maybe see it as a graduation present?"
"Mhm, a graduation present," Castle repeated. "Well, who could deny that to one of the best students of all time." He smiled at her and a beaming smile spread over Alexis's face. "But wait. When do you want to go and how long will you be gone?" Alexis shifted a little in her seat. "I know it's a short call but Anna wants to go this Friday because there's an introduction to classic literature she wants to visit on Saturday. And since we'll have to drive around and also want to spend a few days at the lake… Ten days? Maybe two weeks?"
Castle's mouth fell open. "Two weeks? You've never been away that long!" Alexis opened her mouth to say something but Martha was faster. "Oh please, Richard, let the poor girl go and enjoy herself! Do I have to remind you that you spent barely a few days at home when you were her age?" Castle threw his mother an accusing look and Kate suppressed a smile. She'd never grow tired of seeing the dynamics of this family. "That, Mother, was a completely different situation." Martha raised her eyebrows and pursed her lips. "Why? Because you were a little hooligan while your daughter is the perfect example of a high sense of responsibility?"
Kate could see him clenching his hand around his fork while he struggled to find a comeback to his mother's words. "Darling, just look at it as a form of practice for when our little bird leaves the nest to move to college this fall." His features relaxed a little and he looked back at his daughter and sighed. "I don't think any practice in the world can prepare me for that." He gave Alexis a defeated smile and reached out his hand across the table to touch hers. "I hope you and Anna have a great time." Alexis grinned and squeezed her father's hand. "Thanks, Dad!" Then she got up and hurried towards the stairs leading up to her room. "Sorry, I'll have to call Anna right now!"
"That was the right decision," Martha said and padded her son on the back while she got up to carry her plate back to the kitchen. Castle grumbled something about not having a choice and then started to clean up his own and Kate's plate too. Martha vanished into her room too and as he and Kate were slowly getting ready to go to bed he was a lot more silent than usual. He was sitting on the edge of the bed and Kate climbed over the mattress to lay a hand on his shoulder. Getting torn out of his thoughts he startled a little but then looked at her and smiled.
"Are you alright?" She asked softly. With a slow nod, he answered "Yeah. It's just suddenly all happening so fast, you know?" He turned a little to face her. "Yesterday I held her hand on her first day of kindergarten and tomorrow she's moving out." He fell silent for another few seconds and then softly nodded his head towards her stomach, a light smile returning to his lips as he looked at her. "Today feels a little like gaining one child and losing the other one on the same day." He tried to give his voice a joking tone but Kate could still hear the seriousity in his words. She squeezed his shoulder and gave him an encouraging smile.
"Come on Castle. You're not losing her, she's just growing up. You'll never lose her, no matter how much things may change." He didn't look very convinced. "How can you know that?" She leaned his forehead against his and whispered "Because I'm also a daughter who grew up. And I still love my Dad." She pressed a quick kiss to his lips. He snorted. "Yeah, and look what it's done to you: Pregnant and not even married!" Laughing she climbed back to her side of the bed and started to get under the covers and he did the same. "Very funny." Rearranging the sheets a little she added "And you know, one day this little one will grow up too." She took his hand and placed it over her abdomen, realizing she had only once done that before. But now it felt so very different than in the night she had decided to keep this baby. Now the feeling of Castle's hand on her stomach let a warmth flood over her body that almost made her forget that she hadn't been sure whether she wanted this baby over the last few weeks. But that didn't matter anymore.
Castle made a face like she stabbed a knife to his chest. "Oh yeah, great, just pour some salt into the wound." He said in his best dramatic voice and Kate chuckled softly. He bowed down so his face was near his hand on her stomach. "But you know what, you don't have to do that. No, you can just stay with us until you're fifty and we're all old and wrinkly." He softly said and hearing the smile in his voice she couldn't keep her own lips from smiling.
He straightened up and looked at her face again. "You seem a lot happier than you did before." He stated, and for the first time since they knew about the pregnancy, he felt like he didn't have to carefully choose his words so he wouldn't scare her. Kate looked down at their hands and softly nodded. "I guess I just couldn't realize it until today." "Realize what?" He asked while caressing her belly. "That this baby is a blessing, not a burden. I couldn't realize that until I saw it a few hours ago."
Pulling her into his arms he whispered. "Yeah, that was unbelievable." There was no need to give the negative feeling that had been troubling her any more room now. Stroking his hand over her stomach and burying his nose into her hair, taking in her scent he mumbled "Can you imagine? In less than a year this little person will be here with us. And in another year there will be little feet waddling around." Kate smiled and he could feel her softly shake her head. "No, I can't imagine." She pulled away a little and looked at him. "Tell me what it's like to have a child." The look on her face was eager and full of curiosity. Seeing that expression filled his heart with happiness. He had to think for a moment about where to start.
"You know, it's just amazing. The first time you look at that little face or when they wrap their tiny fingers around yours. You just fall in love with them. And then, within the blink of an eye, they turn into a toddler with the greatest laugh on earth. And suddenly they become a kid that asks the most interesting questions you've ever heard just to turn into this completely independent person right in front of your eyes." He fell silent and his eyes became a little absent. "And then they're grown up and you wonder when it all happened." Tearing his thoughts away from Alexis and back into the present he looked at Kate who was smiling at him.
"And not to forget, they can be annoying as hell and sometimes you feel like you'll lose your mind if you have to deal with them for one more minute. Oh, and exhausting! Especially those toddler years." He nodded his head as if to prove a point. "Yeah, those toddler years are a wild ride." A grin spread over his face. "And even though you might not like some parts of parenthood or feel frustrated by everything you do or the kid does, it never changes your love for them. Not one second." He took his hands into his and brought them to his lips to kiss them.
"Trust me, Kate, you'll love it." She softly smiled and rested her head on his shoulders. "Yeah, I'm slowly starting to believe that too." Pulling her into his arms he kissed her forehead one last time before he could feel her fall asleep in his arms. For him, sleep didn't come easily. There was a lot to process and he couldn't shake off the thought of his little girl leaving him for what felt like forever. And then the overwhelming joy about the baby Kate was carrying and the fact that she was finally able to be happy about it too. He looked forward to the future and couldn't wait for the coming months to pass. But at the same time, he wished he could slow it down just a bit to have a little more time with Alexis. With those conflicting feelings still roaring through his mind he finally fell asleep just as the sun started to rise again.
When it was clear that Alexis would leave for her trip to Michigan the next day, they decided it was best to tell her about the news when she came home. It was hard for Castle to let her go without telling her but on the other hand, he didn't want her to spend the next two weeks thinking about what was going to change. So Alexis left as happy as could be and they went on to keep their little secret to themselves. Kate actually liked it better that way. She could focus a lot better on her work now that the weight of her worry about her feelings for the baby had been lifted from her shoulders. Everything else she was able to push away for now.
She could enjoy the next week to the fullest. The team at work felt almost back to normal again, she could spend a lot of time with Castle without feeling bad because she was hiding her thoughts from him and she even felt a little less tired and nauseous than she used to over the last few weeks. Until now she was sure nobody at work had even the slightest suspicion what was going on between her and Castle and she was a little proud of that. And when Captain Gates called her into her office on Friday to tell her she was quite satisfied with her work on their latest case Kate felt like it couldn't go any better. When they could manage to hide her pregnancy a little while longer and she could keep convincing the Captain that she was doing a great job, maybe… Maybe there was a chance all of this could have a good outcome on all sides. Fastly holding on to this hope Kate went back to Castle's loft after Captain Gates had told her to start her weekend.
When Kate woke up on Saturday morning, Castle still quietly snoring beside her, and she didn't feel the urge to run for the bathroom right after getting up for the first time in weeks, she was sure luck had to be on her side at the moment. She was hitting the ten-week mark today and there were only four more weeks left of her probation period. Though it was still unclear what would happen after that she felt a little optimistic for the first time since she knew about her pregnancy. And she decided to not let any doubts or fears ruin her weekend.
She got out of bed, careful not to wake Castle, and made her way to the bathroom to put on her favorite yoga pants and a fresh shirt. On tiptoes, she snuck back through the bedroom and made it to the kitchen without waking him. It had taken her some time but by now she had figured out his high-tech coffee machine and was able to make herself her morning coffee. That was the only cup a day she allowed herself and she savored every single sip of it. While she waited for the steaming monster to prepare her cup of coffee the bedroom door cracked open. With sleepy eyes, he trotted over to the kitchen.
"I'm sorry, I thought I was quiet." She said softly smiling at him. "You were." He answered, suppressing a yawn. "I guess I woke up to the missing sound of you having to relive your dinner." He grinned and she couldn't stop herself from doing so too. "Yeah, seems like miracles happen." Laughing softly he walked around the corner and suddenly gave her a strange look. Resting against the counter while she still waited for her coffee he eyed her and she frowned at him before looking down on herself. "What?" She couldn't make out what he was looking at. A tender smile spread over his lips as he looked back up to her face.
"You're starting to show." He softly said. Her eyes wide in shock she straightened up and once again looked down on herself. "No, I'm not!" But she could feel her hope to keep her secret for four more weeks already fading. "Yes, you are." He answered as he walked over to her, placing his hand over the slightest little bump that had started to form right under her belly button. Pressing a soft kiss on her cheek he reassured her "Don't worry. Nobody else will notice unless you start wearing clothes like this to work." He teasingly raised an eyebrow at her. "And I don't think anyone at the precinct knows your body as well as I do so they would see it." Kate relaxed a little and came to rest against the counter again.
"You think so?" He nodded and carefully stroked his hand over the tiny bump. "I'm sure you'll have no problem hiding it for a little while longer." Pulling her a little closer to him he added "But don't you dare hide it when we're alone because it is the most beautiful thing in the world." She laughed softly and covered his hand with hers. "Getting fat is beautiful to you?" He made a disapproving sound and pulled her in to kiss her. "You're not getting fat. You're having a baby. Those are two completely different things." He firmly stated.
They both jumped at the sound of hands clapping together paired with an excited little noise coming from the other side of the room. Castle hurriedly stepped away from Kate and stared over to where the sound came from, meeting the wide-opened eyes of his mother, who covered her lips with her fingertips placed together. "Mother!" He shouted. "When will you stop sneaking up like that? You'll give me a heart attack someday!"
Martha ignored her son's words and slowly took the last steps down the staircase and then came over to the kitchen, her features still wide in surprise. "Richard…" She looked over to her son and then to Kate who had awkwardly frozen where she was and had forgotten about her coffee. "I didn't mean to be eavesdropping. But please tell me my senses aren't starting to deceive me just yet." Coming to a stand on the other side of the counter she looked at Kate. Kate wished she could just look away but the older woman's eyes felt glued to hers. "Katherine, are you pregnant?"
What use was there in lying? What Martha just had seen and heard didn't leave any room for doubt. And Kate didn't feel the urge to deny it anymore. So she just looked over to Castle, giving him a soft smile while he returned it with a barely noticeable nod. Kate looked back to Martha and answered her question. "Yes, I am."
The older woman threw her hands into the air and hurried around the counter to pull both of them into a hug. "Oh, you two! This is wonderful news!" She looked at them, her face beaming with happiness. "I figured something important was going on between the two of you. You both acted a little strange in the last few weeks." Castle opened his mouth to say something to that but Martha just continued. "But I never would have guessed you'd be taking things this fast." Castle shot his mother a slightly unnerved look.
"Well, Mother, not all things in life are planned." Martha laughed. "You don't have to tell me, you were the last thing I had planned when I got pregnant with you." She turned back to Kate and he muttered a little frustrated "Thanks for that.". Resting her hand on Kate's shoulders she asked "So tell me, when will this new little addition be joining us? How far along are you, Darling?" Kate smiled back at Martha, her sincere joy was contagious. "I'm ten weeks today and the baby is due on February 15th next year."
Martha's eyes grew even a little wider as she did the math in her head. "Ten weeks already?" She looked at her son and playfully clapped him against the chest. "That's not very gentlemanlike, Richard." He gave her a disbelieving stare. "As if I was the only one involved!" He defended himself but Martha ignored him again. "Well, it all doesn't matter now. As long as the two of you are happy?" Kate looked over at Castle, still smiling. Seeing her happy felt like it was all he needed. He reached for her hand and caressed his thumb over it. "Yes, very happy," Kate said, not tearing her eyes away from Castle's.
"Oh, I can't believe it!" Martha said clenching her fists in excitement. "A new baby! Have you told Alexis already?" Castle shook his head. He felt a little sorry, he'd really wanted to tell Alexis first. But again his plans didn't stand a chance against his mother's talent to walk in on the most untimely moments. "No, we didn't want to tell her right before she left so we decided to wait until she's back." Martha nodded understandingly. "I think that was right. But oh, she'll surely be out of her mind!" Still smiling she sat down at the counter.
"But now, tell me a little bit more. How are you feeling, Katherine?" Kate slightly shrugged her shoulders. "At the moment I'm feeling fine. But I can't promise it'll stay like that once I start eating breakfast." For a second she hesitated but she couldn't resist the urge to share her happiness. "Would you like to see a picture?" Martha nodded eagerly. "Oh, I would love to!" While Kate went over to her bag to get the pictures from their last ultrasound Castle started finally finishing her coffee. "Richard," Martha whispered so only he could hear it. He looked over to his mother with a questioning look on his face, kind of expecting another cheeky comment. But instead, his mother offered him a sincere smile. "You are a very lucky man." He smiled and looked over to Kate who was just walking back to the kitchen, brightly smiling over the pictures in her hands. "I know."
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Little side note: I just love Martha!