First new chapter of the year, everyone. Sorry that it took so long, but it was a while before my co-writer and I could muster up the drive to pick up from where we left off.

Big Trouble in Nekonron, China
Chapter 3:

"Attack on the Flying Frigate"

"OK, so lemme see if I've got this right," said Ranko. "For the last decade, you've been traveling around with that so-called lucky scroll, hoping some prince on a white horse would come along, scoop you up and take you away to live happily ever after?"

"Yes, but I've been beset with nothing but tragedies since that thing came into my life," sighed Lychee. "First, our home was burned to the ground; then we were attacked by pirates..."

"Now that is rough," commented Kenma. "But how'd a nice kid like you end up with a bothersome thing like that?"

"My grandmother was given it a long time ago, by a man called 'Happosai'," Lychee explained. Ranma and Kenma glanced at each other with looks that practically screamed 'well, of course'.

"Figures; you came to Japan in search of the grimy old geezer," Ryunosuke spoke up, as the boat passed by several other boats, all of whose occupants were flocking to see the acrobatic panda balancing a duck and an old man on his shoulders with a piglet.

"Why name a scroll of secret techniques 'The Scroll of Luck'?" muttered Soun. "And how can such a thing grant happiness? Why the hell are you asking me, Saotome?"

The panda-man just shrugged in response, being as confused as Soun was.

"From what I figure, the old geezer probably used it to squirm his way out of paying a restaurant bill," theorized Ranma. "Told 'em something along the lines of 'Hold onto this, and one day your prince will come'."

"...how did you know my family runs a restaurant?" asked Lychee, surprised.

"That's the thing, Lychee..." replied Ranma. "I didn't."

"Why dwell on the past?" asked Happosai. "After all, now that Lychee has forgiven me..."

"And just who said I've forgiven YOU?!" Lychee bellowed.

THAT NIGHT, ABOARD KIRIN'S AIRSHIP...

Nabiki sat by a windowsill, eating her leftover takoyaki balls from earlier that day. Who'd have guessed delivery services even went to flying ships, anyway?

She shook her head to clear out the cobwebs. Now wasn't the time for thinking about delivery stuff, this was the time to take action. Who knew how far ahead this ship was?

If there was anybody out at sea, she had to ensure they had some kind of signal to follow. But what...?

As she rubbed her chin in thought, Nabiki was suddenly struck by inspiration. During her guided tour of the ship a few hours ago, Ebiten had mentioned something about the bay doors being down the second hallway on the left. And since Nabiki had discreetly dropped a few spare yen coins there, she knew what to look out for.

[Featured music: "The Pink Panther" Theme, by Henry Mancini]

Patting her pockets, Nabiki fished out a keychain flashlight, and tiptoed out into the hallway. Making sure she moved as quietly as possible, she kept her eyes peeled for any sign of those yen coins.

Now all I gotta do is find the coins, she thought. And when I find 'em—that's when part two of my plan begins.

After what seemed like hours upon hours of searching, Nabiki was about to give up—but that was when her flashlight beam bounced off the reflective surface of her gleaming yen coins!

"Bingo," she grinned as she pocketed one of the 3 coins, leaving the other 2 there just in case she needed a checkpoint. Venturing down the hallway, Nabiki soon came to a large double-door with a big lock on its handles.

"Time for another dose of strategic thinking," Nabiki said to herself as she fished around in her hair and pulled out a hairpin. Sure, she'd seen this trick in plenty of movies before now, but she'd also practiced it with her mother and with Kasumi.

After all, you never know when you might need to unlock a door or open a lock, her big sister's words echoed in her head as she slid the tiny little implement in and began moving it about with grace and skill. After a tense four minutes, there came a KH-CHIK, CLICK and Nabiki's eyes lit up with joy.

As the doors swung open, Nabiki tiptoed inside and saw that the room was filled almost entirely with large covered vats. She looked around until she found a panel on the wall which was labeled "EMERGENCY SEARCHLIGHTS".

"Looks like I'll get some use outta this thing after all," she said as she pulled out her gun, and fired right at the panel, breaking through the glass and hitting the activation button.

BWEEN! BWEEN! BWEEN! BWEEN!

Shortly after flying over the Great Wall, Kirin's Flying Frigate was suddenly illuminated with a multitude of searchlights that shone and waved all over the place—including across the ocean!

[stop music]

"If they're light sleepers, they'll probably be up in no time," Nabiki muttered as she braced herself. "I just hope that those lights are bright enough for Kenma and the others to see..."

Fortunately for Nabiki...they were.

Kenma saw the lights a few seconds before the others, due to being onboard the Nimbus and having a higher vantage point.

"It's Kirin's airship!" he exclaimed. "But why would they let us know where they were? Unless..." as he put 2 and 2 together, he snapped his fingers in realization. "NABIKI! What a clever little minx she is~! She didn't just give us a hint, she's lit the damn way!"

Below in the boat, Jasmine trumpeted with her nose, eagerly pointing at the airship.

"Well? You heard the elephant!" Junichi exclaimed. "Full speed ahead!"

"Crankin' it to maximum!" Jinn replied as he cranked the switch forward, and prodded the boat to go faster, so as to catch up to the airship.

Kenma nodded, and urged Nimbus to fly higher, within the ship's range. "C'mon, Nimbus. Onward, and upward!" he declared.

The cloud seemed to nod, and it zipped ever higher.

Back on the ship, Nabiki dusted her hands off as she overheard the approaching footsteps of Kirin and his cronies. They've probably spotted the floodlights by now, she thought. So even if Kirin's trying to stop me, it won't mean a damn thing.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud yawn. "...do you have ANY idea what time it is?" asked Kirin, rubbing his eyes. "Kirin needs...er, I need my beauty rest so that I may fulfil my princely duties to the fullest extent."

"Prince Kirin, forgive us," said Monlon as she knelt. "But we found this one setting off the alarm."

"No doubt she intended to alert her would-be rescuers," added Bishamonten. "But luckily, we managed to make sure nobody..."

CRASH!

"...what was that?" asked Kirin.

"Let's just say you've got company," smirked Nabiki, as everyone suddenly heard scampering sounds from all around them, seemingly echoing from all sides.

"Where is it?!" Daikokusei and Daihakusei exclaimed in unison as their eyes darted around the room. "Where is it?!" Both boys were starting to panic as they clung to each other.

All they could make out were brief glimpses of running feet...as well as a pair of menacing, blood-red glowing eyes that pierced through the darkness.

And then...a nightmarish, raspy voice.

"Yoooouuuuu...have taken my bride from meeeeee..."

"Giiiiiiive...heeeeeer...baaaaaaack..."

"Wh-who is that?" Kirin asked, trying to keep his cool under pressure. "Show thyself...if you dare!"

"Maybe you better listen to 'im, Kirin-baby," Nabiki replied. "I DID warn you that Kenma was relentless when he wanted to be."

"You do not scare us!" yelled Bishamonten. "We are the masters of the Seven Lucky Gods School of Martial Arts! Known and feared the world over!"

"Oooooh...I'm quaking in my boots..." the voice retorted. "But if you insist...on being stubborn...it's YOUR call."

Suddenly, something whizzed through the darkness, and struck the bay door lever. Within seconds, the double doors started to open, and both Kirin and Nabiki began to fall out of the flying frigate.

Now, normally Nabiki would cover any fear she felt with her usual facade of casual detatchment, but this time, she was literally plummeting towards a certain watery demise. Don't tell me you wouldn't be screaming yourself if you were there too.

"GO, FLYING NIMBUS!" bellowed a familiar voice, and there came a rush of wind. And surprisingly, Nabiki didn't feel like she was falling anymore.

As she opened her eyes, she found herself staring into Kenma's warm eyes.

"Hi there!" the monkey-tailed boy beamed. "Hope I didn't scare ya earlier!"

Nabiki blinked in shock. "Uh..." she murmured before she shook her head. "Who...me? Scared? Get real, Kenma," she insisted. "...still, it was pretty clever how you handled that situation back there."

"Thanks," replied Kenma. "It was worth the effort to save you."

Both of them could hear cheering from below. They looked and saw Ranma and the others cheering and clapping for them.

"Now...let's get you down to safety, alright?" asked Kenma. "Nimbus, go to the boat." The cloud reared up, and flew down towards the boat. From overhead, Kirin's soldiers watched—before they noticed that Kirin was adrift in the water below, being held up by his royal floatation device.

"Prince Kirin!" exclaimed Ebiten, taking out a walkie-talkie and turning it on. "Are you okay, milord?"

"A bit soaked, but otherwise fine," Kirin's voice responded, crackling over the other end. "Just fish me out, AND get me my bride-to-be back! ...oh, and have a fresh set of clothes ready for me when I return, these are sopping wet."

"At once, Prince Kirin!" Ebiten declared, before turning to some of the other faceless grunts. "Deploy the fishing nets!"

"RIGHT!" the soldiers saluted, before they raced off to drop the fishing nets.

BACK ON TEAM RANMA'S BOAT...

"OH, NABIKI!" Soun howled as he swept his middle daughter up in a bear-hug, while his eyes were gushing waterfalls. "I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE SAFE AND SOUND!"

"It must've been pretty scary being captured like that," commented Akane. "Are you okay?"

"A little jostled, but no worse for wear," Nabiki rejoined. "He didn't try to force himself on me or anything, he just wanted me to eat nothing but rice and pickled veggies. Hell, that's all those guys CAN eat." she added, sticking her tongue out in disgust.

"Well, you always were a picky eater," Soun replied with a wistful look, remembering the many times Nabiki had refused to eat her pickled veggies when she was little.

"At this point, I'm just glad that the worst is behind us," added Genma—right before a fishing net came down over Nabiki, Kenma, Shampoo, Ranma, Lychee, and Akane.

"So much for THAT crazy idea!" remarked Ranma, as the fishing net was pulled off the ship's deck, and into the water. Within seconds, he felt himself shrink half a foot, his arms and legs became a little shorter, his black hair turned red, and a pair of DD-cup breasts formed on her chest [not to mention her hips got a little bigger]. Ranma was Ranko once again, and that meant her clothes were a bit more loose-fitting than they'd previously been.

"Care to explain what's with the net?" asked Akane.

"Clearly Mister Prince doesn't want to give up his beautiful bride, and personally, who could blame him?" stated Nabiki. "So he's having his people get me back."

"Well, that too bad!" Shampoo remarked, slipping back into her broken English. "Nabiki not belong to stupid prince, Nabiki belong to Kenma and Shampoo!"

"Damn right she does!" Kenma added, seeing another fishing net being pulled up towards the ship.

From Team Ranma's boat, Junichi and the others watched in shock as their friends were fished upward.

"AKANE TENDO!" screamed Kuno at the top of his lungs. "PIGTAILED GIRL! What a nightmare—both of my beloveds, KIDNAPPED BEFORE MINE OWN EYES!"

"Akane!" yelled Ryoga and Soun.

"Not again..." remarked Ryno.

Jasmine let out a grief-filled trumpet as she stared up at the flying boat.

"AKANE! LYCHEE! SHAMPOO! RANMA!" cried Happosai as he stood atop the elephant. "Happy wants to play, too!"

Suddenly, he felt his blood run cold as Jinn appeared behind him. "How's about a free ride?" he asked grimly.

Before the old pervert could even process this, he looked down at his waist to see that a coil of rope had been tied around it.

"What's the meaning of this, you mouthy little—?!" Happosai started, but he was cut off when Jasmine picked up the rope and started swinging it like a grappling hook.

"FIRE IN THE HOLE!" shouted Jinn, as the elephant flung Happosai screaming into the sky, striking the side of the flying frigate with a bang!

... ... ... ...

Inside the ship, an alarm klaxxon rang out, drawing the attentions of Ebiten and the others while they were cutting Kirin free.

"What in the—INTRUDERS!" remarked Ebiten. "Let's go deal with them!"

All at once, the Seven Lucky Gods took off to see what was causing all the ruckus, leaving Kenma and the others behind in the net.

"Hey! Ya forgot to get us outta here!" shouted Ranko.

"Leave that to me," Shampoo responded as she pulled out a pocketknife from her pocket [obviously] and started cutting away at the ropes which held the net together. It took a few minutes, but eventually Ranma and the others were freed from their trap.

MEANWHILE...

As the alarm blared out, Happosai pulled himself free from the side of the ship, and he was fuming.

"Ingrates...how dare they do this to their master!" he scowled. "They just don't respect me, that's their problem!" And then he blinked in realization. "Hey, that's right! Some of my favorite targets are up on that ship! AKANE! LYCHEE! SHAMPOO! RANMA!" cried Happosai as he scurried onto the dock.

Of course, it wasn't exactly simple considering that he was tied to a rope...and climbing up the rope was everyone else who'd been onboard the original boat. Kuno, Soun, Genma, Ryoga, Junichi, Ryunosuke, AND Jasmine.

As Happosai struggled to keep himself from falling backwards, Kirin's warriors arrived on the dock. Happosai got a good look at each of them—but his eyes were particularly focused on Monlon, because as we all know, Happosai's libido is uncontrollable when it comes to fine young women.

"Pretty...lady!" he grunted as he pulled and tugged, trying to claw his way towards Monlon. Fortunately, all that pulling helped bring everyone else onboard too!

"You give back Akane!" demanded Ryoga.

"And the ponytailed girl!" Kuno chimed in.

"If you want your friends back, then you'll hafta face US first!" declared Ebiten.

With a furious roar, Ryoga surprisingly led the others into combat against their enigmatic enemies, and the free-for-all was on.

Kuno found himself surrounded by Daihokusei and Daikokusei, who immediately began running circles around him. They were going so fast, it seemed like there were more than just two!

Which of them could be the genuine articles...? thought Kuno as he glanced around, his eyes darting about, frantically...until he got an idea!

"Ah, of course! I shall use my finely-tuned senses to locate them! One cannot trust their eyes in situations like this!" he beamed as he tied on a blindfold. "Try your little games on one who cannot see them! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA—"

BONK.

Kuno had been clocked over the noggin with a pair of wooden mallets, and promptly slumped to the floor, unconscious.

"He was quite stupid, wasn't he, Brother?" asked Daikokusei.

"Indeed he was, but also very amusing, Brother," responded Daihokusei.

Back with Ranma and the others, they'd just escaped their net trap and were making a break for it when they bumped into Kirin, who had just finished changing into his new set of clothes.

"What is the meaning of this?" inquired Kirin. "And just WHERE are you going with my—I mean Kirin's—no wait, it was right the first time—MY bride?!"

"Kirin, you don't understand," protested Lychee. "The fact the Tendo girl got the scroll was a mistake! I was the one who had it for far longer! Who suffered and fought all her life to find you!"

"Your hardships are pitiable, no doubt," responded Kirin. "But as you can plainly see, I already have a bride."

"Uh...no, you don't," Kenma retorted. "Because she's MY fiancée!"

"And that makes her my sister-in-law!" Ranma chimed in.

"Enough of your insolence!" Kirin glowered. "If you desire to reclaim Nabiki...then you shall fight me for her!"

"Sure, why not?" shrugged Kenma as he took a fighting stance. "We all knew it was coming to this!"

But before the battle could commence, there was a whistling sound from the starboard of the ship. "What is it, Ebiten?" asked Kirin.

"Master Kirin...we've arrived home," said the voice.

As the group all turned forward, they saw that the ship was approaching a massive mountain range.

"...is that...?" asked Akane.

"It is," smiled Kirin. "Welcome...to Nekonron, China."

Fuck it, next chapter of this part will be the big finale of the BIG TROUBLE IN NEKONRON, CHINA arc. I had SO much trouble trying to write this chapter out over the past month, but next chapter will be the next episode of the Double Trouble for the Saotome Bros arc.