Fairy 6.4: Monster
Pixie

Your ribs still ache when you walk. But you can walk. The wind whips through your half-ear in a way that makes you want to rip it out entirely. But you can still hear with your other one. The world doesn't make any more sense than it did before Kalani went to the stars. But you still live.

You aren't sure if your old, new life is what you had hoped for. For a half-moon it was spent in bed with only the occasional exercise that Skysong had to help you through because you couldn't do it on your own.

Skysong is different, too. She has a mate and a maybe-parent. You aren't sure if what Shirona did for Skysong is the same as what Kalani did for you. It's hard to find a way to ask in a way she would understand. Maybe humans just couldn't.

She's also busy. With her mate, with her parent, with a quest to get her first mother's dragon back, with the rest of her team.

You knew Eyerock. It hasn't changed. It just pays less attention when you mark your territory. Still boring. Your harness digs into your ribs now. Eyerock doesn't have that problem. Skysong still relies on it and Eggbreath even though you're back.

The bug is new. He probably deserves a name. You just haven't gotten around to giving him one. You're back in the psychic link with Coco and now the bug. He still almost never talks to you. Just asks you if your injuries have healed or how long it takes you to molt. He found out you can grow tails and is now convinced that's how you count molts and. You don't understand him. You probably never will.

Sometimes you catch him rubbing his mouthpieces together in the corner of your eye. Like he's licking his lips. He's certainly big enough to try and eat you. He hasn't done anything, though, and Skysong has tried to assure you that he won't do anything.

Then Eggbreath…

The door swings open and light from the hall comes streaming in. You bury your head deeper into your tails. A sharp burst of pain shoots down your back when you brush a tail against your lost ear.

You look out from your tails to glare at the intruder. Eggbreath. Great. Skysong promised she wouldn't bite you again and the stupid bird hangs onto every word her human says. You start drifting back to sleep as the bird walks over.

You're startled awake by a hot snap of her jaws a paw-length from your snout. Your eyes jolt open to see embers fall on your precious fur. The bird just stares at you as you lick the tiny fires out.

She's still staring you down when you finish.

"What?"

"You left," she growls. Actually growls. It's not as loud as yours but rumbles much deeper. It would almost scare you if you didn't know she was weak to cold.

"I came back."

"You hurt mother!"

Right. She thinks a monkey is her mother. Never was the smartest. "That was Kalani. I didn't hurt her."

She growls again. "Before that. She wouldn't leave her nest for days when you left!"

That gives you pause. You didn't think she cared much about you. Eggbreath is making it sound like she cared a lot more about being apart than you did. Good. That's good. She probably won't leave you soon.

(Unless she's plotting to abandon you for revenge… no. Humans aren't that clever.)

"Why do you care?" you ask. "She's your mother. She's supposed to protect you, not the other way around."

"She does!" Eggbreath insists with a thump of her tail. "She makes sure I'm always fed and feeling good. If I'm not she fixes it as soon as she can. Even my egg mother likes her."

"Egg mother?"

She tilts her head like it should be obvious. Something she picked up from the humans. "The dragon who laid my egg."

Oh! She did figure that out. Not sure why she still calls Skysong her mother, then.

"Skysong can't protect you from danger," you repeat. Because she didn't answer.

She looks at you again like she's so much smarter than you. "I fight for her. I help her whenever she needs help and she helps me when I do. Like dragons. We do what needs to be done. You're a fairy. Egg Mother warned me about you. So did Kagetora."

You have no idea who that is and can't be bothered to ask.

"You want the most you can take while giving the least. Care more about clever words and little wins than the people you hurt."

You don't really think of yourself as a fairy. You know what they are, that the humans think of you as one, or at least think of the nine-tails as fairies, but you can't even attack that way. You weren't raised that way. You are a hunter, a fox, a ruler of mountains. Not a common fairy.

"Have you ever loved someone who loved you back?" Eggbreath asks.

Obviously. Avalanche, her mate… no. They left you. Skysong, kind of, but you left her.

...no…

…no you have not.

"Fairies," she huffs. "You can't understand. And I don't want you hurting my mother again. If you do I will rip off your tails one by one, break them open, and eat the marrow in front of you."

…did she come up with that? She didn't talk like that last you knew her. The bird leaves without waiting for an answer and knocks the door even wider open on her way out. Great. Now it's too bright to sleep.

Not that you want, anymore.

Growlsleeper's eevee is taking up the best part of the sunbeam. You consider shooting an ice beam at him or trying to shove him out of the way. No. Eevee are cruel. He might attack your injury if he somehow gets past your attack. Best not to risk it.

You settle for an inferior spot in the sunlight. It's pleasantly warm without being burning hot. Even if it would be better where the eevee is sprawled out.

The eevee cracks an eye open when you gracefully lower yourself down. Then he opens the other and glares at you. Like you're the problem here when he stole your sunbeam.

"I don't know why you're back."

Did no one bother telling him? Of course not. He's an eevee.

"My mother attacked me."

He flicks his stupid headleaf. "I can see that. I meant that I don't know why she took you back."

Your fur puffs up on instinct and you barely hold back a growl. Don't want him attacking your ear or side like a coward.

"You were always trouble for her. Always causing problems, never solving them. Her other pokémon do everything you did without being a nuisance. You can't fight for her. Can't do anything they can't. She shouldn't have taken you."

You growl for real this time. Cold wind howls in your fur and it's getting harder and harder not to let it out. The eevee gets to his feet and crouches down for a pounce. He wants a fight? Fine. You blast out a bolt of ice and hit him square on.

The eevee hisses and pounces as you dart to the side, ignoring the pain burning across your ribs. You shoot out a rapid flurry of ice but the eevee doesn't even react. He swipes his tail out at you and you have to duck beneath the surprisingly sharp edge. You open your mouth and the eevee blurs. Suddenly you're tumbling through the air before coming to a hard landing on the floor. Pain arcs through your entire body as the eevee strolls over as a floating leaf sharper sharper than a blade of ice hovers a hair's length from your throat.

"How many people have left you?" he hisses. You don't give him an answer Because he doesn't deserve one. Not because it hurts to breathe. "There was one thing in common every time." He leans in close until so that his sickly sweet breath drowns out every other smell. You don't dare move with the leaf, however much you want to lunge forward or retreat back. "You. Maybe you should sit down and think about why that is."

The leafeon backs away to his old position and sits down with his legs beneath him, daring you to attack with every apparent advantage. That confident.

You sit down across from him and do your best to ignore his words. You're not about to go and listen to an eevee who attacked you.

Your new ball is nice. Endless snow as far as the eye can see deep enough to bury yourself in. No one else can bother you here. You're alone. Probably for a while. Skysong is traveling in the heat today. She asked if you wanted to walk beside her but you both know you wouldn't have, even if you weren't injured.

Your side still aches where the eevee attacked you.

Which is why it's really stupid when your thoughts drift to him and his words. Yes, the ice eevee might have been right about something. He had a nine-tails mate. He was probably just repeating her good ideas. Plants are dumb. You can scream at a tree all day and it won't answer. A plant eevee is maybe the worst.

And you don't need to think about what a silly bird said either.

But you do.

There's nothing else to distract you in your ball.

Everyone leaves. No one has ever loved you back. Because of you. Are you unlovable? Moons ago you had a terrible moment where you realized humans could have always had six pokémon. You mostly tried to ignore it until Kalani let you ignore it entirely.

Kalani is dead now. You're pretty sure she never loved you, her Firstborn. Just the idea of a kit.

Skysong and Growlsleeper's pokémon are being very rude. You're injured. You don't need to deal with this.

You nuzzle the snow beneath your chin and dig yourself down deeper.

Skysong wanted to know what path you wanted to go down. Does the choice even matter if you'll always, always be alone at the end?

Why does no one love you? It can't be looks. You're beautiful, even for your species. The ear is a major loss but you're still far better than any other fox. And you know the humans treat eevee like they're the only gift the gods ever gave them.

No. You're beautiful. Certainly not weaker than the other pokémon you've been with. (Until now.)

Something different, then. Behavior? You're a perfectly normal vulpix.

Kalani was a perfectly normal nine-tails. She tried to kill a human and got killed in response. Openliver always seemed happier to be with Rockfur than Kalani, even though she was far stronger, smarter, and prettier.

Do humans only love pokémon that always do what they're told? Can they only bond with living machines?

Do they really want to be the only minds in the universe? How self-centered. How boring. But it fits with what you've seen.

You immediately miss your ball. The air is far too hot. There's a slate of shimmering black rock on the ground around you. Grass has broken it up and grown through the cracks. Behind the black rock is a grey pit. The kind that humans fill with water and swim in Probably used to have solid sides but one has crumbled and filled in with mud. Behind that are human-made towers that have walls missing and metal sticks poking out like bones from a half-decayed carcass.

The humans are huddled under the shade of a weird overhang supported by a few metal pillars. It protects you from the sun but not the heat rising from the ground around you.

But you don't want to go back to being alone in the ball. And you would like food. This is… tolerable for now. You still blast out a pulse of snow and cold air to make it a little nicer. And you groan in displeasure. Skysong will know that it is too warm for you and she should… Actually, you aren't sure what she should do here. Humans can't change the weather. Only nine-tails can do that.

"I know girl," Skysong softly tells you. "Just a few minutes and you can go back."

Your bowl of food is already waiting. Eggbreath is tearing apart a chunk of some kind of meat. You have a small bowl with yours already cut into pieces. You don't really need that: your teeth are fine. Still saves you some trouble. You're glad she has fresh meat now instead of the tough dry strips. Or the meat-flavored wood pellets most humans have given you. You're sure to daintily eat your food one piece at a time so Eggbreath can learn how to do it.

She just ignores you.

Her bug, Shattered Eyes, is nowhere to be seen. Eyerock is floating in the shade with a pack resting on its back. You would never let yourself be humiliated like that.

Growlsleeper's eevee is out alongside her weird frog, cloud, and the duck that smells like a mammal. Liar only has her ugly bag carrier and her lizard out. Stupid lizard. You can tell that she thinks she's prettier than you. And sometimes she even plays mind tricks to make you think about how pretty she is. Never works for long. She doesn't even have fur. Easy to remember that you'd never find her pretty otherwise.

The not-duck is watching every move the lizard makes like a mother watching a nearby predator.

Shirona's bird, Deadly Wind, is perched on a metal bar and basking in the sunlight. You have no idea how her blood hasn't boiled inside of her.

Liar is the first human to speak. "Are you alright, Gen? You seem upset."

Growlsleeper hangs her head and stares down at her food. "That obvious?"

"Not really. Just learned your tells."

You still aren't sure what the dynamic is between the two now. Skysong's told you that Liar is attracted to Growlsleeper. But Growlsleeper has already chosen a mate. Nine-tails only have one opposite sex mate to produce children and pass on territories to. Avalanche had another mate before you were born. Sometimes she would watch over you while both your parents were busy. And you know they mated with each other while your father was around. That was fine. It did not interfere with territory inheritance.

Liar and Skysong like each other enough to share territory. Not enough to mate. That would be unthinkable to a nine-tails: not even mates share territories. Sometimes Avalanche refused to let her mate enter her territory for an entire moon and you simply did not see him.

Humans. You think the three should all just mate with anyone they want and be done with it. There are no heirs to worry about. If one dislikes it, they can leave. This does not have to be complicated.

"I…" Growlsleeper speaks and reminds you that the humans were talking before you got lost in your (far more interesting) thoughts. "This place was abandoned after Tapu Village, right?"

That's what they call the little human village at the base of The Mountain. The place where Avalanche left you.

You do not like it.

"Yes. Tapu Fini started getting too aggressive and the developers stopped immediately."

"Right, well, I was just. Thinking."

"About your old home?"

"How did you—? Right." Growlsleeper takes a deep, shaky breath. "We moved from Ula'Ula after Tapu Village was destroyed. Away from our neighbors. I was lonely for a long time after that."

Skysong shifts on the ground to be closer to Growlsleeper. The larger female leans into her mate but doesn't say anything. Even Skysong's mental links are quiet.

"No, you weren't," Liar says.

"What?"

"Okay, yeah, a little lonely, but we met a month later and hit it off. You were usually fine after that as long as I could visit."

There's a long pause. That might be true, even if Growlsleeper can't remember it. She lost many of her memories. Had others changed. It was a worse curse than Skysong's. Psychics hadn't been threatening to you before. You're having to rethink that. Might have to give Eyerock more respect. Maybe. Probably not.

Growlsleeper goes back to taking slow bites and chewing for a long time between each one. No one says anything. Skysong just presses a little harder into her mate's side. You're shocked she isn't told off for clearly trying to steal her mate's food.

Labored breathing snaps you to attention. You turn and around and growl like a good guard. The other pokémon follow shortly after. You were told to expect powerful enemies on the island. But nothing could have prepared you for what appears around the corner of a crumbling fence.

It's a canine with white fur. That much is normal. Everything else is deeply wrong. The neck sticks upwards and is half the length of the body. The fur curls in on itself in endless knots, thicker in some spots than others with no clear reason. The legs, when you can see them through the fur, are long and spindly. It breathes with a slight rattle. The facial features are sharp and enlongated like they were cut into and pulled out by a cruel or careless god. The ears droop down past the shoulders. They don't move with sounds or show any signs of life at all. It smells like a canine but looks like a half-blind creature tried to describe one from memory. Everything in you is screaming to either run or put it down from distance so that it can't get close enough to infect you. If something did this to her you need to leave the island immediately.

"Aww, what a cute widdle furfrou."

You look back towards the humans. They don't seem concerned. Relieved, almost. Growlsleeper is looking at it like most human look at eevee. Do they have no survival instincts? Can they not see this abomination for what it is? Why are you always the only one with any sense?

{Just a furfrou,} Cuicatl tells you. {Let's see what they want.}

{What's a furfrou and why aren't you running?}

{Some weird dog breed humans made. They're normal. Pretty harmless.}

Humans. Made. That?! Why? You kind of understand dog breeds. They were wild pokémon that humans altered somehow. What was the point of this? A warning? That if they could do this to one species the others needed to watch out or they would be next?

Skysong laughs—laughs!—at the idea. {Maybe.}

Humans aren't just dumb. They can be monstrous.

"Stay back, Gen. Could be diseased."

"Thought you didn't have rabies here?" Cuicatl asks.

"Until we do. Don't risk it."

Rabies. There's a plague with a similar name in the nine-tails' history. It isn't spoken of often. You don't know what it does. It caused a small war. That's all you know. The older nine-tails are all scared of it coming back. Is that why the nine-tails don't leave the mountain? The fear of getting sick. In the cold cave on Kalani's island you met an old nine-tails who asked why the nine-tails didn't just make it snow off the mountain or on another one. But Skysong makes it sound like the disease is gone. Do they just not know that? And if they think there's a terrifying plague down at the surface, why do they send their kits there?

Growlsleeper lowers her outstretched hand. The monster has stopped and sat down, head bowed in submission.

"What do you want?" Skysong asks.

"Food," it answers in a way that you can just understand. Even if the movement of the breath is all terribly wrong.

"Just hungry," Skysong tells the others. "Doesn't sound dangerous. Or rabid. I've…dealt…with rabid pokémon before."

"Oh! Let me just get—"

"No," Liar and Skysong interrupt Growlsleeper at the same time.

They glance at each other before Skysong waves a hand. Liar continues.

"You shouldn't feed wild pokémon. It makes them more likely to approach humans, more likely to get aggressive in the future. They should stay wild."

"It's a furfrou," Growlsleeper protests. "They aren't wild. It's just a poor dog that somebody left behind."

"We packed what we need to get to the canyon and back," Skysong says. "The little bit extra is for any new pokémon we catch and any delays. There are a lot of ways to get stuck in the canyon and I don't want to risk starving."

The monster realizes it isn't getting anything and turns around to leave. Just like that? Not going to attack the humans who cursed it?

"Wait."

The monster turns around to look at you as Skysong gently questions what you're doing in your mind. "You aren't angry at humans for mutilating you?"

"What?" It's hard to read the thing's body language. You think it's being serious. Has no idea what you're talking about.

"Making you… like that. Ugly. Unable to breathe. With ears that don't move."

"Pixie…" Skysong whispers.

"I'm perfectly normal for my kind," the thing says.

Perfectly normal. A perfectly normal furfrou. How could it think that? How can the entire species not realize how horribly wrong they are?

…you think back to your thoughts in the ball. About Kalani being a perfectly normal nine-tails. The snow eevee's anger at his mate's behavior. What he said…that none of you ever get over The Mountain. No. That's different. You're gorgeous. You can breathe. You're not only the smartest canine but probably the smartest pokémon. There's. Nothing wrong with you. With all of you.

The thing keeps staring at you like you're the strange one, the monster, before it turns and leaves. The other pokémon gradually relax and the humans go back to talking as you stand fixed in place, staring at the place it was. You startle when Skysong's paw touches your back. Suddenly you realize that you've been standing in the sun and your fur feels suffocatingly hot.

{You okay?}

You don't answer that. You aren't showing weakness to a human.

{Do you want to go into your ball?}

"Yes."

You were almost finished with your food. And you would rather be out of the heat. Rather be alone.

As soon as the world fades you dig into the snow and try not to think about things too absurd to be true.

It's not quite dark when Skysong sends you out again, but the heat is… tolerable. She's sitting on the ground alone. You can hear the humans in the distance. Can't see or hear any of her other pokémon. "Where are the others?" you ask. At least Eyerock must be somewhere. It's always watching.

"In their balls. I thought you needed privacy." You tense up. That means she wants to talk. To you. Alone. And there's no avoiding it. "Something was bothering you. More than the furfrou. I would like to hear it if you would tell me."

The big thing. You do not want to talk about. It. Something else. Even if it's still big. "Why did you take me back?"

She tilts her head.

"I got you cursed. And Eggbreath thinks you shouldn't have."

Skysong sighs and rubs her eyes with the back of a paw. "I'm sorry about that. She's very protective of me."

"That's not the question I asked." You're almost certain she can remember something that recent.

"Why I took you back, huh? Well. You needed help."

You pause and wait for more. It doesn't come. "That's it?"

She shrugs. "I like you. Even if you can be difficult."

Difficult. You're just demanding the things any vulpix would. But. You… you don't know how to say the question. If a human could answer. Even if, somehow, the nine-tails weren't perfect, a human might not even notice. Because you're still close. Right?

No. You can't ask that. Not yet.

"You like helping people?"

"Yes."

You flick out your tails and think. Maybe. Maybe this is something you can do?

"How can I help you?"

Skysong hums noncommittally before reaching down to give you scratches. You lean in and direct her to your remaining ear. "You already are. Keeping the food cold. Being very soft. It's never boring with you. But. If there's one thing." She takes a deep breath and you brace yourself, even as the petting continues. "You make everything into a fight. Every inconvenience, every time that you don't get exactly what you want, every minor insult. I feel like I'm constantly dealing with fights and blowups. I have my own problems. I don't need all of yours. It's still fine to tell me what you need. Or if something is actually bad. But. Small things. If you could let them go. Especially when I'm busy or having my own problems."

She's asking you to accept imperfection.

That… that could have gone worse. Of course the humans can't always be perfect. And earlier with the weather. It wasn't killing you. She couldn't even do anything. You can at least try that. For now.

"Okay."

She moves her other hand into place to scratch your ear and chin at the same time. "Thank you. And if you do want to talk again…" You won't. Not with her. Not with a human. "I'm always here."

For now. Although. The plant eevee said that you were the problem. Maybe if you…were more forgiving of the humans…then she won't leave. Maybe.

Only one way to find out.

Wind gusts into the side of the tent as your human and her mate prepare to sleep. They are pressed against each other in the center of the tent with plenty of space on either side. You do not know why they are sharing heat. It is already warm.

As soon as Skysong lays down Eggbreath barrels past, almost knocking you over as she lays down on top of her "mother." Skysong doesn't seem uncomfortable. You have no idea how: humans aren't that strong and Eggbreath is almost as big as she is. But her breathing is still regular and she barely shifts positions.

You reflexively bristle at the slight and prepare a burst of cold air. Eggbreath turns to stare you down. And you pause. It would be… acceptable… to sleep on the ground for now. It's reasonably soft here. And you were just thinking about not wanting to share body heat. You keep your eyes locked onto Eggbreath as you spread out your tails and lower your haunches. You only look away when it's time to lower your forelegs and sweep your tails over you.

Your injuries don't make sleeping easy. And its night: you're supposed to be awake at night and sleep during the day. The humans fall asleep long before you do. Eggbreath is still awake.

"Good job," she growls.

She's asleep by the time you come up with a response.