Episode #21:
"Am I...Pretty? Ranma's Declaration of Womanhood"
With the VOICE TALENTS of:
ROB TINKLER as Ranma Saotome/ALYSON COURT as Ranko Saotome
CAMERON ANSELL as Kenma Saotome
LEN CARLSON as Jinn/Djinn
DAVID HEMBLEN as Soun Tendo
HARVEY ATKIN as Genma Saotome/Panda-Genma
TARA CHARENDOFF as Nabiki Tendo
TRACEY MOORE as Kasumi Tendo
PAULINA GILLIS as Akane Tendo
MICHAEL MAGEE as Happosai
JULIE LEMIEUX as Clothing Store Lady
Casting director:
Debra Toffan
TODAY on "Ranma 1/2: The Life and Times of Kenma Saotome":
It's the granddaddy of all goof-ups when Akane loses her cool and knocks Ranma flying—which results in the pony-tailed one receiving some nasty brain damage! When he wakes up however, he's a whole new Ranma, one who acts, talks, and behaves like she's a girl…or at least, what Ranma's mental image of a girl is like!
Will Kenma and the others find a way to return Ranma back to his former self?
Or will they have to switch out Ranma's training gear for training bras?
Find out on "A Declaration of Womanhood", today's episode of Ranma½!
Opening Theme: "So Many Memories/Omoide ga Ippai" (Pony Canyon)
Vocals by: DoCo USA (Rose Hastreiter, Tanya Hancheroff, Saffron Henderson, Willow Johnson, & Cathy Weseluck)
Lyrics by NEKO OIKAWA
Composed by MASAYUKI IWATA
Arranged by NOBUO ARIGA
English Lyrics by TRISH LEDOUX
Dreading the school bell, we can't help but worry...
Classmates behind me, we can't help but hurry
They'll catch their breath, and then they'll say...
"Good-Mor-ni-ng!"
Sweet summer grass that grows wild by the roadside...
Starting each day with a smile I can't hide
It's what I know...but may not always be so.
Casual moments like these mean the most to me
Treasured times that don't need any key
In the album of my heart I keep, old times keep like new.
No, I won't forget (how the sky is blue!)
No, I won't forget (how this dream came true!)
They're the gentle times we'll share forever, long past all those times are thru.
Even when I'm sad... (days I just don't know)
Even when I'm glad... (days the tears just flow)
Mem'ries of days I'll never, ever let go!
As the sun rose over the rooftops of Nerima, Ranma Saotome mentally steeled himself as he clutched his bo-staff, his lungs expanding and shrinking as he glared up at his opponent, one Genma Saotome, who was on a higher point of the roof, also clutching a bo-staff in his hands.
"READY OR NOT, RANMA!" bellowed the bespectacled man as he leapt from his perch.
Like a true professional, Ranma spun his staff and got into a battle stance. Genma swung and whipped his staff at Ranma, who dodged and darted every which way to avoid getting smacked.
Leaping into the air, Ranma stuck his staff out lengthwise and landed, balancing atop Genma's outstretched pole.
"I think you've gone soft, Pop!" laughed Ranma as he glanced back at his so-called father.
"Think again!" retorted Genma. "I'm holding back for your sake, boy!"
"Oh, like you did with Ryu last week?" inquired Ranma with a smirk. "Remind me, was that before or after he made you crap your pants in fear?"
From his spot on the ground, Kenma laughed at Ranma's remark. He wasn't taking part in the sparring this time because it was a one-on-one fight. Besides, he felt that Ranma deserved to provide Genma with his share of bruises and beatings before he took his turn.
Flipping off of Genma's pole, Ranma jumped to a higher part of the roof, once again having the pole out like a lance. Genma jumped to the other end of the roof, and both father and son stood on opposite ends, daring each other to charge.
"Get ready, cuz I ain't holdin' back!" announced Ranma.
"I'm ready, any time," retorted Genma.
With shouts, the father and son lunged at one another before proceeding to begin staff-fighting, like Errol Flynn as Robin Hood. As Ranma launched a jab, Genma grabbed the pole in his arm.
"If that's the best you can do, boy, then it's obvious I've got nothing to worry about!" he sneered.
Gritting his teeth, Ranma gripped the pole tighter, ready for retaliation…
MEANWHILE, IN THE KITCHEN…
Kasumi was cooking some breakfast, and spooned out a little of what she was boiling so as to sample it. Upon tasting it, she smiled and opened the window so she could call out.
"Time to wrap it up. Breakfast is almost ready!" she announced to the Saotomes.
"Breakfast? Oh-boy!" Kenma exclaimed as he got to his feet and scampered indoors to wash up.
"Thank you, Kasumi dear," Genma called down. "We'll be along in a moment!" Of course, noticing that Ranma's attention had turned towards the window, Genma quickly seized the opportunity and pole-flipped Ranma, sending him flying back-first onto another part of the rooftop.
The resulting impact made Kasumi jump from surprise. "Maybe someone should go check on Ranma…" she suggested.
"Already on it!" Kenma said as he headed back outside after washing his hands.
"Don't distract me!" yelled Akane, who was right next to her older sister, trying to cook an omelet. "Aah! Don't burn! Don't burn!"
… … …
From the rooftop, Genma laughed. "Now who's getting soft, boy?" he mocked. "The problem with you is that you're careless and easily distracted! One bright, shiny object and your mind takes a hike! Clearly you need LOTS more training!"
Ranma grunted as he pulled himself to his feet. "Well, I wouldn't be distracted if you didn't like usin' dirty tricks!" he retorted. "Y'call yourself a martial artist?!"
Genma stuck out his tongue and made a dopey face at his eldest son. "Nyah-nyah, foolish boy!" he mocked as Ranma came at him. "Catch me if you can~!"
"I'll pound ya to a pulp, old man!" Ranma snapped as they both leapt off the roof.
Back indoors, Akane plunked down a piping hot plateful of Kami-knows-what on the table. It was an odd mix of mostly yellow, with green, red, and brown decorating it as well.
As Soun lowered his newspaper, he found this nasty surprise sitting before his eyes.
"Ah, er…Akane, what exactly is this?" he asked.
Akane smiled, like there was nothing at all wrong with the culinary abomination she'd just given life to. "Japanese-style omelet! It's my own special recipe!" she explained.
Kenma glanced at the 'food' on the plate, and felt a cold sweat over his body. Last time Akane made her own "special recipe"...well, let's just say the Doctor was stunned by what strand of poison was used in that case.
"...is that so?" Soun asked, looking sheepish.
"And I'm saving the biggest piece for you, Dad!" Akane added, making Soun's blood run cold in that instant.
"W-well…isn't that nice…" he responded.
Kenma looked on with curiosity. "How come you don't have Aki try it out?" he inquired. "He really loves being your taste tester."
Akane grumbled. "I would have, but unfortunately, he's out of town participating in a sports tournament," she replied.
Some ducks have all the luck, I suppose, thought Kenma.
Akane pulled out another plate which had another chunk of 'omelet' seated upon its surface. "Go ahead, give it a try!" she offered.
As she did, Genma came in and dipped past her, making the plate fly out of her hands, and its contents landed right on Soun's head. The second that happened, Ranma ran indoors, inadvertently pushing Akane's face right into her own plate, smushing the 'omelet' all over her face
"Sorry," Ranma said quickly before his thoughts returned to the pursuit of his old man. "GET BACK HERE!"
After a few minutes, Akane pulled herself up; it may have been decorated with chunks of her breakfast recipe, but there was no masking the absolute rage that adorned her face.
Kenma saw the face Akane made and went pale with fear. Then, he could only utter one word to sum it up: "...crapbaskets."
"...Ranma…!" Akane snarled.
... ... ...
Outside, Ranma had cornered Genma at the edge of the koi pond.
"N-now, wait a minute, boy!" the fat man insisted. "I was just trying to show you the holes in your training!"
"How about I make a new hole?" asked Ranma. "Like one through your head!"
"Hey, if you don't like it, then give me your best shot!" Genma replied, before he pulled his bottom-left eyelid down and stuck his tongue out at Ranma.
Ranma got ready for another attack, and then turned to the right. "Look, a ¥100 coin!" he exclaimed.
"Huh? Where?" Genma blurted as his eyes darted around. "If anyone sees it, it's mine!"
But suddenly he found his legs being swept out from underneath him, and he went tumbling into the pond.
SPLASH!
Seconds later, the panda sat up to glower at his son.
Ranma crossed his arms with a smirk. "Just like you said," he remarked. "One bright, shiny object, and—"
"RAN-MAAAAAAA!" Akane roared, making the ponytailed boy turn around. Running towards him was Akane, mad as Hell and wielding a frying pan like it was a weapon—and in her hands, it very well could be.
"Crapbaskets!" Ranma flinched in fear of a raging Akane approaching fast.
"YOU RUINED MY COOKING!" screamed Akane, as she swung the pan at Ranma, who dodged. "DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO MAKE THAT OMELETTE?!"
As Ranma dodged, he slipped and fell backwards into the koi pond…and hit his head on one of the stones bordering the pond.
KLONG!
"There, I guess I taught YOU a lesson," Akane scoffed…before she noticed that it was quiet. "...Ranma?"
There, floating face-down in the pond, was Ranko's unconscious body, with the mother of all lumps seated on the back of her head.
"Ranma!" Kenma exclaimed as he ran over. Upon seeing the monster lump adorning Ranko's head, he let out a yelp. "Oh, my God!"
Getting into the koi pond, he reached down and picked Ranko up. "What did you do?" he asked, turning towards Akane.
"I was getting even with him for ruining my cooking!" Akane responded.
"By giving him BRAIN DAMAGE?!" Kenma spat, his eyes like two red-hot embers. "FOR ALL WE KNOW, THIS COULD'VE PERMANENTLY CRIPPLED HIM!"
SOME TIME LATER…
Ranko eventually woke up, in a sleeping bag, gazing up at the wooden ceiling.
"Are you awake?" asked Kasumi, who sat nearby with Kenma as the red-headed girl sat up.
Once she did, she couldn't help rubbing her head—perhaps there was still some lingering pain from the impact earlier.
"Stay still, I'm going to apply the disinfectant," advised Kasumi.
"Ow…" winced Ranko.
"I really must apologize, Ranma," said Kasumi. "Akane tends to be a bit thoughtless and single-minded whenever she gets angry…"
"No problem; it was an accident, right?" asked Ranko in a voice that was surprisingly more coquettish and feminine than she'd ever sounded before.
"Ranma…" asked Kenma, leaning over to his transformed brother. "...are you alright? And do you at least remember who I am?"
Ranko smiled in response. "Of course I do," she replied. "I could never forget my adorable little brother~!"
Kenma inwardly sighed in relief. At least Ranma didn't have amnesia, but whatever had happened to him most definitely left him with some crossed wires.
Suddenly, the others all ran into the room at full speed, causing Ranko to shriek in terror.
"AHH! You really should knock first! What if I had been unclothed?" Ranko exclaimed as she clutched the sleeping bag.
"Yes, how rude can you all be?!" Kenma responded, playing along. "Knocking isn't just a good idea, it's also common courtesy!"
"So, it's true!" Akane exclaimed as she got into Ranko's face. "You are acting weirder than usual!"
Ranko looked a little confused. "...am I acting weird?" she asked.
"Please excuse us for a moment," advised Kenma as he grabbed Akane by the arm. "Akane and I need to talk…over here."
Before Akane could protest, she found herself being pulled off to the side.
"OK, what's up with Ranma?" she asked. "He's acting weirder than usual!"
"No thanks to you, moron!" Kenma hissed under his breath, jabbing a finger at her. "Because SOMEONE gave him brain damage!"
"It was Ranma's fault for ruining my omelet!" Akane protested.
"Akane, it was your omelet. Odds are, it would've tasted horrible," Kenma stated bluntly. "My advice? Learn how to follow a damn recipe, and don't throw in random shit while you're cooking! …now, that brings us to the Ranma situation."
"Yeah?" asked Akane.
"I can't quite say for sure, but the blow to his head altered his personality somehow," stated Kenma. "I've read about this sort of thing. You have to go along with the delusion until the person recovers."
"And why is that?" Akane inquired.
Kenma immediately rounded on her once more. "Because YOU'RE the one who gave her brain damage to start with," he hissed. "And if you DON'T play along, I'LL GIVE YOU SOME DAMAGE MYSELF!"
Akane backed away a bit in fear of what Kenma showed with his anger, so with some hesitation. "...fine, I'll play along. But only under protest." she replied.
"Fine with me," shrugged Kenma, before he approached Ranko again. "Ranma…do you remember those people?"
"Certainly!" Ranko nodded as she turned to Soun. "That's Uncle Tendo!"
"And him?" Kenma asked, gesturing at Genma.
"Jinkies!" gasped Ranko. "It's Old Man Jenkins!"
Genma's jaw dropped at that, while Kenma was immediately struck down by a fit of laughter.
"An—and him?" he asked, pulling himself to his feet and pointing at Happosai.
"An oompa-loompa," Ranko stated, making Happosai turn pale. "And a very ugly one, at that."
Kenma was once again struck down with a raucous fit of laughter, howling in glee until his sides ached.
"YEAH! THAT'S PRETTY ACCURATE!" he shrieked amidst laughing.
"Hey, why do I gotta be an oompa-loompa?!" Happosai whined.
Kenma sat up and glared daggers. "You're a damn Oompa-loompa, shut up and accept it," he spat.
"Would you stop talking in that stupid voice already?" demanded Akane.
"But I thought all real girls talked like this," said Ranko.
Akane glowered. "I'm warning you, Ranma, don't you dare start up with me," she warned.
Ranko giggled. "Silly Akane, I can't help it," she responded. "I'm a woman."
At this, Soun and Genma plotzed with shock…while Happosai got a sneaky grin on his face, which did not go unnoticed by Kenma.
LATER, OUT IN THE BACKYARD…
Ranko hummed quietly to herself while she was out in the backyard, picking flowers; in the distance, Soun, Kenma, Akane and Genma were observing.
"Must've been some fall," remarked Soun.
Genma nodded in agreement. "Knocked the fight right out of him," he added.
"It wasn't the fall," stated Kenma. "It was the impact to his head."
"But I don't understand," Soun began to question, "He gets hit in the head tons of times, what made this one so different?"
"Stupid luck?" Genma suggested as Kenma just glared at the fat man of a father.
"Not like this," Kenma responded, slapping Genma across the face. "This time it affected his brain somehow."
"He actually had a brain to affect?" Akane asked with a snide remark only to get a slap upside the head from Kenma as a response. "What the hell was that—"
"Smart-ass remarks get smart-ass responses," Kenma dryly pointed out as Genma nodded with agreement, considering he got those slaps for all the smart ass comments he made…daily.
"Excuse me, may I come through?" asked Kasumi's voice.
Upon hearing her, Genma and Soun stepped aside, letting the eldest Tendo daughter through with 2 baskets of laundry.
"Big Sister Kasumi, may I help too?" asked Ranko as she came over.
"Why, of course!" smiled Kasumi as she handed Ranko one of the baskets.
As the girls were hanging the laundry, Ranko let out a gasp. "Oh my!" she exclaimed.
Kasumi turned to the female redhead in confusion, "What is it, Ranko?"
"These, these…" she stuttered as she held up a pair of boxers. "There are boy's underwear!"
"Yes, so…?" Kasumi inquired.
"It's so embarrassing! I TOUCHED them!" Ranko squealed as she threw them down into the basket. "I can't bear it, it's so perverted!"
"What's so perverted about it, huh?" asked Akane as she walked over and grabbed the boxers, dangling them in Ranko's face. "Take a good, long look, Ranma; these are YOURS, not mine!"
"Don't!" Ranko wailed. "Stop it, Akane, please don't make me!"
But Akane was more stubborn than a hundred mules. "What's the matter? Don't you RECOGNIZE 'em?" she snapped.
"Akane!" Kasumi reprimanded her little sister. "That's enough! In this case, it looks more like you're the perverted one!"
"Kasumi, how can you even say that?!" Akane blurted. "The only pervert around here is this weird Ranma!"
"Actually…those are my boxers," Kenma said with a deadpan expression. "Check the inside flap."
Rolling her eyes, Akane pulled the flap out of the boxers. Written on it was 早乙女 研磨 [Saotome Kenma]. Akane blushed red when she realized her mistake as she had absolutely jumped the gun on her accusation.
"Hee-haw…hee-haw~!" Kenma brayed, imitating a donkey. "Bet you feel pretty stupid now, don'cha?"
Akane tried to come up with a remark but found herself trapped in a corner, having no reasonable excuse for her outburst and frustration this time. She just stormed off and went back into the house in a huff.
Kenma shook his head with a smirk. He really loved getting under Akane's skin like this.
Ranko looked sad at how Akane ran off in a huff, wondering what she did to anger the young woman and what she should do to fix this.
"Ah, don't sweat it," Kenma shrugged. "Akane's always got a bee in her bonnet about something or other. At this point, ya learn to ignore it."
Of course, Ranko was taken by surprise—literally—when Akane came back, and pulled Ranko off into the house behind her.
SHORTLY, IN THE DOJO…
Akane was standing before Ranko, clad in her dogi and taking a fighting stance. "Well? Come at me!" she ordered.
"But I don't like violence!" insisted Ranko.
As is the case most times, Akane wasn't in the mood to listen. "Ready or not, here I come!" she bellowed as she lunged at Ranko, launching punch after punch at her head.
Ranko frantically dipped and darted out of the way as she continued pleading. "Please, Akane! Don't do this! It's not the answer! You really shouldn't do this! Please, stop!"
But her pleas fell on deaf ears as Akane wound up for another punch—and found that her fist was being held back.
"What the—?" Akane asked before she opened her eyes and turned around. Standing behind her was Kenma, glaring daggers right at her.
"She said stop," he growled.
"Why…why won't you fight back?" wheezed Akane, her face slicked with sweat. "When did you become so…cowardly?!"
"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Kenma roared as he grabbed Akane by the wrist and slammed her against the wall.
"Ahh! That hurt, y'know!" winced Akane.
"I know it hurt," Kenma hissed in response. He turned back towards Ranko, his face calm. "Ranma, you may leave now."
"You won't hurt Akane, will you?" asked Ranko.
"Of course not," said Kenma. "I simply want to have a little chat, is all."
"Well, I suppose that's fine," replied Ranko as she left the dojo and closed the door behind her.
Once he was certain she was gone, Kenma turned back towards Akane and his face became serious again.
"Are you dense or something?" he snapped. "Here you are, trying to get Ranma to fight you again, but at this point she's not mentally fit for fighting!"
"I had to do something!" Akane tried to justify her actions. "I thought if I put him in a combat situation, muscle memory would take over and he'd suddenly know what to do!"
"And how'd that work out for ya?" Kenma asked, his tone acidic.
Akane said nothing, as Kenma released his grip on her wrists.
"I'm gonna tell you again, but this is the last time," he said. "The best we can do is play along until Ranma's back in his normal mindset again. So that means no screaming at him for stupid reasons…"
"I don't scream at him for stupid reasons!"
"This coming from the person who believes everything bad that happens around here is his fault?"
"Because it IS!"
"Nobody is responsible for circumstances, dimwit. Now, where was I? …right! It also means not trying to force him into fighting or anything! And third, if he says he's a girl, then until he recovers, he's a girl, got it?"
"Alright, alright…" Akane responded as she gingerly rubbed her wrist. "Why are you so gung-ho about this whole thing, anyway?"
"Because I care deeply about my brother, and I'd do anything for him," responded Kenma as he did some stretches. "As you may have noticed, our mom ain't in the picture, and our old man would sell us off if it scored him a free meal, so we have to watch each other's backs, to rely on each other and whatnot. If I didn't do that, I wouldn't be a very good brother."
And with that, Kenma left the dojo, leaving Akane by herself.
Going upstairs to the guest room, Kenma found Ranko sitting where her sleeping bag was placed. Sitting beside her, he made himself comfortable. "Something on your mind, sis?" he asked.
"Yes," Ranko answered with a conflicted look. "Kenma, I really do wish I wasn't the heir to father's martial arts school. But I'm too afraid to disappoint him.
Kenma let out a little sigh in response. "Well…if it makes you feel any better, I don't wanna be the heir to a school either," he replied. "Martial-arts is just my way of protecting you. I know it's kinda violent, but I do it because I care. See, Dad's got a bad habit of screwing over the wrong people, so we should be able to protect ourselves."
"I understand fully, but in all honesty, I'd rather focus my efforts on a more peaceful medium, like gardening or tea ceremonies," explained Ranko. "And it wouldn't hurt if I could learn to cook. It wouldn't be for my husband's sake, either—I'd be learning for myself, too! There's nothing wrong with that, is there?"
"Of course there isn't, Ranma," responded Kenma, clasping his brother/sister's hands gently. "If you wanna arrange flowers, or learn to cook, or make tea, then I'll support you all the way. That's what families do for one another."
Suddenly, there were footsteps thumping loudly as they clambered up the stairs. As Ranko and Kenma turned to face their doorway, the door flew open, revealing Genma standing before them.
"RANMA!" he bellowed. "What's this I hear about—KOFF! HACK! KOFF! KOFF!" he was cut off by a sudden coughing fit.
"Please, Father; you're not as young as you used to be," stated Ranko. "Try not to overexert yourself, alright?"
Or in my case, go right ahead and overexert yourself, Kenma thought with a smirk.
"Do NOT change the subject!" barked Genma. "Is what I heard true? You DON'T want to become the heir to the Saotome School of Anything-Goes Martial Arts?! That's GOT to be a lie, RIIIIGHT?!"
Ranko looked down with a small smile. "I suppose you had to find out sooner or later…but yes, it's true," she replied. "I understand why Kenma does it, but I abhor fighting and I dislike violence."
"IT'S NOT VIOLENCE!" blurted Genma. "...it's martial arts."
"It's cruel and ugly, to hurt people for no reason," stated Ranko. "And I won't be a part of it."
"Don't start with me, boy…" glowered Genma.
"I told you, Father; I'm NOT a boy," Ranko insisted as she balled her fist up. "...I'M A GIRL!"
And she clocked Genma right in the jaw, knocking him backwards. As she opened her eyes, she was astonished at how powerful her punch was.
But Genma wasn't ready to give up yet. He leapt to his feet, carrying two full kettles. "Turn back into a boy…AND SNAP OUT OF IT!" he yelled as he tried to splash Ranko, who dodged with ease.
"Father, you mustn't!" pleaded Ranko. "I'll be burned!"
But Genma wasn't in a listening mood. "I SAID, WAKE UP!" he bellowed as he splashed at her again, before she dodged, then leapt over his head and dumped the kettle right on his skull.
Kenma snickered at that, especially after seeing his father fall flat on his back.
"Oh, father! Forgive me!" Ranko pleaded. "I didn't mean to—"
She suddenly found herself being drenched with kettle water, courtesy of Soun.
"No, Ranma…forgive me," stated the mustached man. "But for the sake of the Anything-Goes school, this cannot go on!"
By this point, Ranko was now Ranma again…that is, physically.
"AAAAAH!" he screamed before he ran out of the room in tears, leaving Soun, Genma, and Kenma in his wake.
The redheaded Saotome boy shook his head. "...now look at what you did," he remarked icily.
"That was not the reaction I was expecting…" Soun remarked, shocked at how distraught Ranma was.
"Ranma…has…BRAIN DAMAGE!" Kenma yelled at Soun after Ranma ran upstairs to the bathroom. "At what part did you think turning him back into a guy would work?!"
Soun flinched at the outburst and whimpered at the shouting, something he has done with his daughters whenever they got mad like that. "Well… it worked when he thought he was a cat," he spoke up.
Kenma deadpanned at the response. "He didn't get a blow to the head when he got turned into a cat," he hissed. "This is mental trauma, you troglodyte!"
Later that day, after Kenma managed to convince Ranma that things were okay, the group was all seated at the table, having lunch.
Ranma, however, hadn't eaten very much. "May I please be excused?" he asked as he stood up.
Everyone looked at Ranma, feeling concerned—some for his mental well-being, and some for the fates of whatever they'd placed upon his shoulders.
"Poor Ranma," Kasumi said under her breath.
"Indeed…" agreed Genma. "If he doesn't want to fight, then how can the Saotome School of Anything Goes' legacy continue?! All hope is lost!"
"Say, Ranma. If you don't have anything else to do, maybe you'd like to go shopping with me?" asked Kenma, trying to make his brother a bit more comfortable.
Ranma perked up as he turned towards his brother. "You really don't mind me tagging along?" he asked.
"Of course I don't mind!" Kenma responded with a wink. "Now let's get ready!"
As Kenma led Ranma upstairs, Kasumi rubbed her chin.
"Somethin' on yer mind?" asked Jinn.
"I can't help feeling I forgot to do something," responded Kasumi.
"What, like this?" asked Jinn as he wound up and smacked Genma in the back of the head.
THWACK!
Kasumi snapped her fingers in surprise. "Oh, that was it!" she beamed before she wound up and smacked Genma as well.
THWACK x2!
"That's for caring more about how you can benefit instead of caring about your son's well-being!" she snapped.
Kenma was outside of Akane's room, playing his Game Boy™ when he overheard crying coming from inside.
In an instant, he burst into the room. "Ranma! What's wrong?" he asked, going to his brother.
"I can't go out in public like this!" the ponytailed boy sobbed. "Every dress and skirt I own makes me look fat!"
Taking a deep breath, Kenma knelt down at his brother's side. "Well…now I know that isn't true," he said in a gentle tone.
"Oh, but it is true." Ranma sniffled. "I mean, Akane doesn't have that same problem. All of her clothes fill out her form perfectly. But me? I'm a big joke…everyone will be laughing at me!"
"Look, Ranma…you're the prettiest girl in all of Japan, alright?" asked Kenma. "I mean, you'd probably look great wearin' a burlap sack! And if anyone thinks about laughin' at ya, I'll have more than a few choice words for them!"
"So, you really think I'm beautiful?" the ponytailed boy asked, wiping his tears.
"Like I said, even if you were wearing a burlap sack, you'd still be the most beautiful girl in all of Japan," Kenma said in reassurance, leading Ranma to give him a nice, warm hug. "Aw…you're welcome."
"I love you so much, Kenma. You're the best brother any girl could ask for," gushed Ranma.
Kenma smiled in response. Even if these moments didn't come too often, he still enjoyed them.
... ... ...
After a good few minutes of hugging and getting dressed, Kenma and Ranma headed to the mall.
As soon as they walked into the nearest clothing store, Ranma immediately walked around and eyeing all of the dresses and blouses.
"Oooo~! Look at this one. Oh, and this one too…" he gushed as he went around, holding up blouses and bras and other such things.
Kenma sheepishly rubbed his head in response, feeling a little embarrassed. How am I gonna talk my way out of THIS one?
"You must feel so proud of your sister," an employee told him.
"Eh?" Kenma asked, turning towards her.
"Not many would be so open with helping someone transition from a man to a woman," explained the employee. "You must be very supportive of your sister through all of this!"
Kenma blinked, before the gears in his head began turning. "Oh!...Yes," he responded. "Yes, it has certainly been a challenge, but I just wanna show my sister that she can trust her brother through this endeavor."
Upon hearing that, the other shoppers smiled, nodded, and went back to their shopping.
Kenma sighed in relief as he wiped his brow. Crisis averted!
"How about this one, Kenma. Do you think this would look good on me? Hmm?" Ranma asked while holding a bra.
Kenma looked over, and gave two thumbs up in response. "Absolutely!" he replied.
"Oh! Oh, dear…" whispered the ponytailed boy, as his legs crossed slightly.
"You okay, sis?" asked Kenma.
"Ummm…I have to use the bathroom," Ranma whispered out of slight embarrassment.
"Yeah? Oh!" Kenma realized as he took out his squirt gun and gave Ranma a couple of spritzes to activate his curse.
"Thank you, Kenma. I'll be right back," Ranko said with a smile before heading to the ladies' room.
... ... ...
After she was done in the bathroom, Ranko went to try on some dresses, and Kenma went to accompany her.
"Wow! It's so light and airy. So, what do you think, Kenma?"
Kenma gave two thumbs up in response, as well as bleeding from both nostrils.
"Your sister looks beautiful in that dress," said one of the employees near the fitting room.
Kenma gave a nod. "Believe me…I know," he agreed.
"Now, that'll be $255.37," the employee informed him.
Swallowing heavily, Kenma reached into his wallet and pulled out a fistful of dollar bills before handing them over to the employee.
"Thank you. I'll go get your receipt," the woman said before leaving to go to the cash register.
"Oh, thank you so much, Kenma!" gushed Ranko as she ran over and enveloped the red-headed boy in a big hug.
Still blushing pretty heavily, Kenma hugged his sister back. Afterwards, when all the shopping was said and done, the two went to the nearby ice cream shop at the food court.
Kenma had gotten a milkshake, while Ranko was tucking into a decadent-looking fruit parfait.
"Ranma, wouldja mind if I posed a question your way?" inquired Kenma. "...but not that one from just now. That doesn't count."
Ranko nodded in response as she had another spoonful.
"Have you really forgotten about being a boy?" asked Kenma. "I mean, you still remember it, don't you?"
Ranko put down her spoon. "Well, I don't quite know how to describe it," she replied. "I mean, I haven't totally forgotten everything…but it's more like a dream than something that's supposed to be real. It's as though all my experiences up until now aren't mine."
Kenma raised an eyebrow. "So…like you were a passenger in your own body, and that someone else was at the wheel?" he suggested.
"Kinda," nodded Ranko. "For example, when Akane knocked me into the pond, I felt so confused. But, I know now that I could never really be happy as a man, especially with all those expectations piled onto me. I guess I owe her a little gratitude, in a way. Now I can really be happy with who I am, and without the expectations piled on my male self I have a chance to carve out my own path."
Kenma looked at her, feeling contemplative. In this new mental state, sure, Ranma was a little more high-strung and very effeminate, but he did genuinely seem a lot happier than he had ever been.
He continued to ponder about it as they both walked home later.
Later, in the kitchen, Kasumi and Jinn were supervising while Ranko and Akane were helping to prepare dinner.
"Don't work too hard, Ranma," advised Kasumi. "Doing the shopping is more than enough!"
"It's no trouble at all, Big Sister Kasumi," responded Ranko. "Cooking Sunday dinner for my family is fun!"
The elder Tendo sister smiled at Ranko before giving a small yelp in pain as she cut her finger by accident. Seeing this made Ranko gasp in horror before fainting.
"Oh, my!" Kasumi exclaimed. "Ranma, are you ok?"
"Y-yes, Kasumi," responded the redheaded girl as she tried to steady herself. "...I just can't stand the sight of blood…"
Kasumi had a concerned look in her eyes, since it was only the smallest drop of blood. Ranko then handed the elder Tendo sister a band-aid with a little cartoon pig on it.
Kenma raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Do you always carry band-aids with you?" he asked.
"Of course. Better safe than sorry, I always say!" Ranko answered.
The redheaded boy simply nodded.
Afterwards, dinner was finally served. And boy, what a spread it was!
"This is a veritable smorgasbord!" exclaimed Soun. "Kasumi, you've outdone yourself!"
"A feast fit for a king!" chimed in Happosai.
"Well, I'd never have gotten it done without Ranma's help!" Kasumi responded. "She's very skilled in the kitchen. Now eat up, before it gets cold!"
"Hey, I helped too, ya know!" Akane insisted. "I washed the lettuce for the salad, didn't I?"
"You're becoming more girlish by the moment, boy," remarked Genma. "It breaks a father's heart!...I gotta admit, though…" he added before he took a few bites of the food. "Whatever's in this, it's delicious!"
A LITTLE WHILE LATER…
After dinner, soon everyone was settling into their beds. Kenma was in his spare room [courtesy of Jinn], as he was quietly gazing up at the ceiling.
If Ranma is happier this way…should I even try to change him back? he thought to himself. Don't get me wrong—I do like teaching him stuff I learned…and even when he teaches me sometimes. But apart from a few times…he never seemed too happy the way he usually was.
Suddenly, there came a knocking on his door, jolting him from his thoughts.
"Eh?" Kenma muttered as he sat up in his sleeping bag. "Wonder who that could be…"
Going to the door, he cleared his throat. "Who's there?" he asked.
At the door was Ranko, sleeping bag in hand. "Sorry to bother you, Kenma…but I could sleep here in your room?" she asked.
"What happened?" asked Kenma, becoming concerned. "Is something wrong?"
"No, no; I just don't feel comfortable sleeping alone," replied Ranko.
Without even a second thought, Kenma opened the door for Ranko to enter the room. "...say no more," he replied. "Truth be told, it was getting a bit lonely without you here. I guess I just missed having you around, y'know?"
"Oh, thank you so much, Kenma!" Ranko said before pulling up her sleeping bag.
"Think nothing of it, Big Sis," responded Kenma as he got back into his own sleeping bag.
Suddenly…
CRASH!
"What the hell was that?" Kenma asked as he got out of his sleeping bag again. "Ranko, stay in your sleeping bag. I'll deal with this."
As he went to the window and glanced outside, he saw Soun and Genma lying on the grass in a tangled heap.
"What are you two up to?" he asked, annoyed. "Can't you see…that I'm trying to sleep?"
"My monkey makes a good point," said Nabiki as she poked her head from her own window. "If I don't get my 40 winks, then I'm unhappy. And if I'm unhappy, then SO IS EVERYONE ELSE."
An aura of fear settled over both of the fathers.
"W-well, we were just trying to get a better look at the moon, that's all!" responded Soun.
"Y-yeah! It's so pretty when it's full!" Genma added, before they both took to their heels and scrambled away.
"...forget it, I stopped caring when Dad started rambling about the moon," said Nabiki. "Just keep it to a dull roar, huh?"
And with that, she went back inside and closed her window. Sighing in relief, Kenma did the same, before he settled back into his sleeping bag.
A few minutes after he'd started dozing, the door creaked open, and in came Happosai, holding that same bra he was always trying to get Ranma to model for him.
Chuckling wickedly, the diminutive old wretch sprinted over.
"Grandfather Happosai, what in the world are you doing?" asked Ranko.
"Huh…wha?" muttered Kenma as he rubbed his eyes…before his ki sense caught onto Happosai's lecherous ki. "AH!"
He shot up, on full alert, before he turned to the left, seeing Ranko clutching herself with frightened shock.
"Kenma!" yelped Ranko. "Grandfather just tried to—"
"Say no more," Kenma growled as he stood up, in full "Piccolo" mode. "What the hell do you want, bastard?"
"Who are you calling a bastard?" retorted Happosai. "All I wanted was to give Ranma a present, that's all!"
"A present from you, she doesn't need!" Kenma snapped. "Now get out!"
"I don't wanna—I don't wanna—I don't wanna!" Happosai whined like the petulant little brat he was at heart.
"Well, I don't think you heard me, so I'll repeat myself just this once," Kenma said before he cleared his throat. "Now...get out. GET OUT! GEEEEEEET OOOOOOUUUUUT!"
"You sure you won't reconsider?" asked Happosai, seconds before he was nearly immolated by a ki blast. "...guess not. Well, since you won't be reasonable—"
And as he leapt towards Ranko...
WHAM!
…he was suddenly knocked to the floor by a punch. Turning to the side, Kenma was surprised to see that Ranko was the one who threw the punch.
So…she's not completely without fighting skill, Kenma thought to himself. Muscle memory must've spurred those reflexes into action!
A small smile formed on his face. I guess the old Ranma is still in there somewhere, after all…
"I'm sorry, Grandfather. But I just can't let you hurt Kenma," said Ranko as she lowered her fist.
"All I wanted was for Ranma to try on her new present…" the old gremlin whimpered, acting like he was the victim [oh, he was the victim, all right…the victim of a sudden and most unexpected ass-whoopin'!]. "WHY'D YOU HAFTA HIT ME SO HARD?!" he wailed, flailing his arms around.
"Because you wouldn't learn otherwise," hissed Kenma as he stomped over to the door and opened it. "Now, like I said before: ...get out. GET OUT! GEEEEEEET OOOOOOUUUUUT!"
Before Happosai could protest any further, Kenma punted him like a soccer ball, sending him flying out of the room. Once that was done, the redheaded boy shut the door and tried once more to resume his slumber.
Alas, he only got another two minutes of sleep before Genma kicked the door down, wielding a mallet.
"DAMN IT, BOY, YOU'RE GOING TO CHANGE BACK TO NORMAL, EVEN IF I HAVE TO MAKE IT HAPPEN!" the fat man bellowed before he charged at Ranko.
Before Ranko even had a chance to dodge, Genma brought the mallet down like he was playing a game of Whack-A-Mole.
"What the hell are you DOING?!" Kenma screamed, as Ranko collapsed in a heap.
"Well, something occurred to me," Genma replied. "If a knock on the head is what changed him before…then maybe a second one would restore his old personality!"
Kenma facepalmed. "Where did you even get such an idiotic idea?" he asked.
"I saw it on a documentary!" Genma stated proudly.
Kenma's eyes twitched. "...Looney Tunes is NOT a documentary." he stated flatly.
"Well, I didn't see YOU coming up with any bright ideas!" Genma retorted, before he noticed someone standing behind him. "Eh?"
"What the hell are ya doin', pops?" hissed Ranko in a very familiar tone, as she grabbed Genma off the floor. "YA TRYIN' TA GIVE ME BRAIN DAMAGE OR SOMETHIN'?!"
Before Genma could respond, he found himself being thrown right out the bedroom window, and he landed…inches from the koi pond, smacking right on the grass outside.
"Yep…he's definitely back to normal…" he grunted dizzily before he passed out.
"Oh, jeez! What a dunderhead!" Ranko said while rubbing the back of her head.
"Thank Kami you're ok, Ranma!" exclaimed Kenma. "If that hit gave you permanent brain damage, Genma wouldn't even be walking—or breathing, for that matter!"
"So what exactly happened?" asked Ranko.
"That knock on the head had you believing you actually were a girl," responded Kenma. "I had to stick by you and make sure Akane didn't make things worse, since it was her fault you got hit to begin with."
"Figures," remarked Ranko. "...how was I, anyway?"
"Well…you were a really good cook," Kenma stated. "Not to mention, you seemed a lot happier than you'd ever been in a while. You were telling me how freeing it felt to not have to be chained down by Genma's expectations."
"Is that right?" responded Ranko. "...who would've thought I'd actually be happy in my female form?" She said, pleasantly surprised by the events leading up to this one.
"Yeah…life's pretty funny like that," Kenma nodded in agreement.
Suddenly, Akane, her sisters and Soun all came outside to see if Ranko was ok.
"Oh my. It seems like Ranma is finally back to his old self," Kasumi commented, slightly disappointed since now Akane had to go back to being the second cook.
"I'm not sure how it happened, but I'm glad you're back to normal, Son!" Soun said with a bright smile.
"Well, Tendo, you have me to thank for that." Genma said with a smarmy sense of self-satisfaction.
"What?! You hit me over the head with a mallet! You're lucky ya didn't knock my lights out permanently, Pop."
"C'mon, boy!" Genma grinned. "Don't take it so personally; you sound like a girl!"
And he gave him a big WHACK on the back, which sent Ranko flying…
KLONG!
…right back onto the rock near the koi pond.
Everyone looked on in silent shock, including Genma.
"I—I didn't mean to hit him that hard…" he tried to say. "It was an accident…"
"YOU'RE THE ONLY ACCIDENT AROUND HERE!" Kenma snarled, his eyes completely red.
"Ugh! Hey! Did anyone get the number on that truck?" Ranko groaned as she came back from the water.
"Yeah, it's G-E-N-M-A," Kenma spelled out, his tone acidic.
"Oh. Thanks a lot, …say what's your name again?" the dazed redhead asked.
Kenma slapped his palm into his face and dragged it down. "Oh, no…not again!" he groused.
"I mean, I recognize your face but I'm just a little foggy on the name. It was Ken- something." Ranko pondered.
Kenma simply sighed and handed Ranko a list of Post-It notes, with the names of everyone in the Dojo written on them.
"Oh! You must be Kenma, then? Thanks a bunch, Bro." The redheaded girl said before hugging her brother, who looked just plain tired.
"Don't worry, folks…if I don't snap and kill my father, things will be back to whatever passes for 'normal' around here by the next episode," Kenma said to the readers. "...at least, I hope so."
And on that, we…IRIS-OUT!
Author's Note: Coming up with the beginning and the middle for this episode were relatively easy...but coming up with the end? We kinda ran on fumes to the finish line, so to speak. Hopefully you find this ending satisfactory.
END CREDITS:
Featured theme: "Don't You See!"
Vocals by Stephanie Young
Lyrics by Shūichi Ikemori
Composed bySei'ichirō Kuribayashi
Arranged by Takeshi Hayama
When I see your smile, I can't find the right words to tell you
It's like I'm writing a letter to a long-lost friend again
Always thought there'd be more time to hold you in my arms, and never let you go
I hope you never forget the ones you care for need you
I know it all seems hopeless; love is asking to be loved
Sometimes, I sit and think that maybe giving up now would be much better, and put my mind at ease
Don't you see that even when you're gone, I pray I'll get to see you one more day
I still worry about you
Don't you see? I know the world keeps spinning round whenever you are feeling down
Hang on: I'll be there~!
Recorded at Ocean Studios
Vancouver, Canada
using the
WORDFIT™ SYSTEM
WORDFIT™. It just WORKS, y'know?
A VIZ VIDEO PRODUCTION
NEXT EPISODE PREVIEW
On the next…RAN-MA~!
[Ranma and Kenma narrowly dodge being attacked—by a mailbox. Yes, you read that right, a mailbox.]
KENMA: Jeez, did somebody forget to put a stamp on their letter or sumthin'?
Ranma learns that he's not the only one who's got troubles with would-be suitors when a spunky young spitfire by the name of Tsubasa Kurenai comes a-callin', and she's got her heart set on one Ukyo Kuonji!
[Tsubasa looks Ranko up and down]
TSUBASA: ...you're butt-ugly, you know that?
[Ranko practically plotzes in shock from this little statement, which clearly struck Ranma right in his pride]
Will Ranma win out and be able to keep Ukyo as one of his 2 girlfriends? Is there something that Miss Kuonji isn't telling us? And just what exactly is the mysterious secret of Tsubasa, the ever-persistent master (or mistress) of disguise?
Join us next time for "I Love You! My Dear, Dear Ukyo"!
KENMA: TEYANDEE~!