PROLOGUE:
Too Damn Hot Outside

[In this version of the story, we'll begin with the scene that shows us HOW we ended up on the island, then that will be followed by the Opening Credits Shenanigans]

It was summertime in Nerima, and Ranma & Kenma's sophomore year of high school had come to an end.

Alas, the summer wasn't off to such a great start. For one, it was too damn hot outside. How hot, you inquire?

It was hot enough that if you were to crack an egg on the pavement, you could most likely watch it cook right then and there. Which is what Genma had done the previous day.

"It's so hot and I'm so bored." Nabiki groaned as she tried to fan herself off. She was glad she owned short clothes for the heat (mostly to show off her body to Kenma), but that didn't mean she could handle such temperatures.

"Tell me about it, I'd kill for a nice cool breeze… or water right now." Ranko stated as she had switched to his female form due to the heat. She'd rather sweat as a girl then get burned turning back into a guy with warm water.

"Agreed…" groaned Kenma. "Can't we go to the beach?"

"You know we can't afford that," chided Akane.

"You mean we can't afford to go in the water?" asked Kenma. "Are they charging money for that now? Is it like with gas-station bathrooms, how they say you can't use them unless you buy something? How poor ARE we?"

"Poor enough that the only way you cool off is with these Popsicles." Nabiki said as she took a vanilla popsicle, held it to her face to cool off before sucking on it.

Kenma blushed, watching Nabiki do that. "I know what you're doing, and you are cruel doing that to me," he stated.

"Why, I have no idea what you could possibly mean, Kenma~" Nabiki smirked before she started sucking on the popsicle again.

Kenma groaned in agony at the display he was bearing witness to.

"Lum's lucky she doesn't hafta suffer in the heat," remarked Ranma. "Of course, that's what bein' on another planet will do for ya…"

Suddenly, the door flew open and Kuno burst inside.

"Greetings and Bienvenue, Tendos/Saotomes. I have come bearing great news!" the upperclassman exclaimed.

"You've finally gotten over my sister?" Kenma replied with his usual amount of dry sarcasm.

"SILENCE! HEED ME!" Kuno spat back before clearing his throat. "As I was saying, construction of my luxury yacht, Binsense, has been completed. And so, I extend an invitation to the pigtailed girl and Akane Tendo!"

All at once, everyone gathered around the table.

"REALLY?!" Akane and Ranko exclaimed.

"You don't say!" Soun and Genma remarked, curiosity piqued.

"I'd be delighted!" chimed in Nabiki.

"It's so kind of you to invite us," smiled Kasumi.

"What she said!" Jinn and Aki chorused.

"Is what you say for real?" asked Shampoo, startling Kuno into turning around to see both her and Ukyo standing behind him.

"A yacht! How decadent~!" Ukyo commented.

"Y'know, it could be fun," pondered Ryoga.

"For FREE?!" Mousse exclaimed. "I too shall come!"

Sitting before them on the table were Cologne and Happosai.

"So then, Happi, are you going too?" the old woman queried.

"It would be rude to turn down such a gracious invitation," the old man nodded. "Not to mention, it's a scorcher today. What better remedy than a seaside excursion?"

"And just who invited ANY of you?!" Kuno bellowed, annoyed.

Later, everyone was aboard Binsense as the boat—sorry, yacht—traveled across the water.

"Mm~" purred Nabiki (she's gonna be doing that quite a bit). "There's nothing like the ocean in the summertime."

"No kidding," agreed Akane. "It feels wonderful!"

Ranko put down the drink she was sipping. "Guess just this once, we should be grateful to Kuno, huh?" she asked.

"I will admit, this was decidedly non-heinous of him," agreed Kenma, who was now clad in a pair of blue trunks, an undershirt, and a layer of sunblock.

Aki glanced over, seeing that the boat was now very far away from the shore. In fact, the shore was practically a speck on the horizon! "Uh, should we be worried about not seeing the shore? How far out are we?"

"Now that you mention it…" Kenma brought up as he noticed there wasn't any sight of land around the horizon.

"Hey Kuno," Ranko shouted to the upperclassman. "What's going on with being out so far? When are we heading back to shore? Kuno!"

Kuno meanwhile, standing at the bow of the vessel, marveling at the vast blue sea, ignoring the calls to him. "'Tis a wonder, this unending vast blue sea. How the ocean truly suits a man of culture like myself."

"Yeah, I doubt we're gonna get answers out of Kuno anytime soon." Aki grumbled at the absurd antics Kuno was widely known for. "Wait a minute…if Kuno's there, who's steering the yacht?"

"Hey Ranma," Ukyo and Shampoo came up from the cabin of the ship with a radio in her hand. "We just heard on the radio about a storm out at sea. Should we head back?"

"Kenma, can we go back to shore?" Shampoo asked, worried about the storm coming since they were out in open waters.

"Yeah, let's head back to shore now." Kenma stated as they heard stories about ships out at sea when a storm hit—as well as a few movies about that very situation too.

"Fear not fair maidens, and Kenma," Kuno interjected as he stood tall and over them on the ship. "A mere squall is nothing to hamper the great Lady Binsense! Let these measly winds blow all they want! AHAHAHAHA!"

"Looks like Kuno's come down with a case of ocean madness," Aki said as he reached for his bat. "Allow me to do everyone a favor and—"

Everyone but Kuno froze when they saw the dark clouds behind him, and in the path of the yacht.

"Hey Kuno, can the yacht—"

"Lady Binsense!" Kuno corrected.

"Can she handle a hurricane at sea?" Kenma asked, pointing at the large dark clouds in a direct path to the group.

Kuno scoffed at this before he turned around to see the clouds with his own eyes, staring at the formation for a good minute before he turned back to the group. "...oh, crap."

…to make a long story short, that was how the entire gang ended up stranded on a deserted island.

Now, here we are in the present, kickin' it Gilligan-style. It's been three hours, and while Akane is hellbent on getting off the island, the others are content to kick back and relax. After all, now they've basically got their own private beach to hang out on!

"So exactly how many attempts at swimming is Akane gonna make before she remembers she can't swim?" Nabiki asked as she walked out in a dark-blue bikini that left little to the imagination and made Kenma stare at her.

"Not sure, I believe this is attempt number 4." Kasumi said in a modest green one-piece swimsuit. Still, it didn't keep Jinn from staring at her.

"I'd rather just chill out and enjoy this beach!" Kenma responded as he kept on staring at Nabiki. "As well as what's on it~"

"Ya-hoo!" Ranko cheered as she caught some tasty waves on her surfboard.

"At least someone else is enjoying their time." Jinn said as he blushed at being so close to Kasumi.

Ryoga, meanwhile, was busy working on some shelter using driftwood and some fallen trees. Considering all the times he'd had to build shelters when he got lost, he was a professional at it.

Akimitsu was on "Akane-Watch", basically keeping her from drowning and calm as she helped make some shelter or if they could help repair the yacht. Aki tried hard to keep his eyes from wandering over Akane in her yellow one-piece that was definitely working in her favor.

Cologne, Mousse and Shampoo were the wild cards as they went inland looking for some food, only to somehow remake their restaurant, even making the floor plan exactly like their restaurant back in Nerima.

Their dedication can be borderline scary at times.

As for Kuno…

"Gah!" Kuno yelled as he hit his thumb while trying to patch some of the holes in the hull of the yacht. "Apparently the sea is a harsh and vindictive mistress, whose wrath is nothing compared to the fierceness of the lovely Akane Tendo."

"Hot enough for ya, Saotome?" chuckled Soun as he slapped down another piece on his board. "Gotcha!"

Kasumi had just finished pouring out some iced tea that she'd finished making. "Would any of you care for some iced tea?" she asked.

Soun looked over and smiled. "That'd hit the spot, Kasumi!" he smiled.

"I know I would!" Jinn chimed in.

Genma held up another sign. Thank you, Kasumi!, it read.

As they were enjoying the iced tea, Ranko wiped out and was sent flying to shore.

"Good work sis; be happy we never encountered a Martial Arts Surfer!" Kenma shouted as he watched it all.

"Honestly, that Ranma!" fumed Akane as she was hammering away at the shelter. "What does he think this is, a vacation? We've still got a lot of work to do before we can get out of here!"

"How about you chill out, huh?" asked Kenma. "You were complaining about how it was too hot, and now that we've got a nice place to relax, you wanna leave it! I say the heat's seriously fried your brain! That, and almost drowning four times!"

Akane was about to blow her top, figuratively, at Kenma before Akimitsu came in and tried to calm her down.

"He's right, it's only been a few hours since we washed up here," the boy explained. "Kuno's working on the ship, everyone is taking advantage of the serenity, so maybe it wouldn't hurt to unwind, relax and enjoy this free beach trip."

Akane was about to explode in anger, until Aki's words reached her mind. She looked around and saw how everyone was relaxing and seizing the moment, nobody panicked or went into a frenzy like she did earlier. She took a deep breath before exhaling.

"You know what? You're right, Aki..." sighed Akane as he handed her a drink from Kuno's cooler. "I guess I was freaking out a bit too much. I'll save that moment for another day."

Aki sighed in relief, wiping his brow. Lucky that actually worked…I was worried she was gonna go ballistic on me!

"Don't worry about Ranma, Akane," advised Ryoga. "I can work twice as hard for both of us!"

"Well, aren't we mister nice-guy?" smirked Ranko, gazing over with a half-lidded smile. "Don't you wanna have fun with me, Ryoga-baby?"

Ryoga scoffed. "Unlike you, I do NOT shirk my responsibilities for childish pursuits," he retorted.

"Oh, yeah?" Ranko smirked as she began splashing little handfuls of water at him. "Or maybe there's a REASON you can't getcher little piggies wet~!"

Kenma snickered at that, while Ranko was splashing more water at Ryoga.

"C'mon, go fer a dip~! It'll make a new man outta ya!" she giggled.

And we all know why Ryoga can't go swimming!

"How dare you make jokes about that…" Ryoga snarled as he picked up a rock, and pulled it from the sand—to reveal that it was actually a BOULDER! "...and in front of AKANE!"

"C'mon, it was just a joke~!" cooed Ranko, making her eyes big. "Don't get mad at widdle ol' me~!"

"SHUT UP, YOU!" roared Ryoga as he threw the boulder, while Ranko ran for her life.

"GAH! YOU DUMMY, DUMMY, DUMMY!" Ranko shouted as she ran away in fear from the falling boulder heading her way.

Fortunately, the boulder missed, and Ranko resurfaced, making faces at the bandana-headed boy.

"NYAH-NYAH! You missed me! Come and get me if you can!" Ranko taunted as she blew a raspberry at the lost boy.

"THESE SEAS WILL RUN RED WITH YOUR BLOOD!" Ryoga screamed angrily as he started throwing more rocks at Ranko.

"Oh, for the love of—RANMA, STOP TEASING RYOGA!" Akane yelled in frustration at Ranko. "RYOGA, STOP ENCOURAGING RANMA!" Akane then yelled at Ryoga who was hurling boulders at the redhead.

Soun and the others watched in quiet exasperation.

"Those two are such good friends, aren't they?" Kasumi joked.

"With friends like that, who needs enemies?" replied Jinn.

"Indeed, 'tis a strange and confusing comradery those two knaves have." Kuno stated as he was taking a break to enjoy some iced tea, before noticing something out in the water. "Huh? Doth mine eyes deceive me? Or am I witnessing a white haired catgirl of the sea approaching these sandy shores?"

Everyone, outside of Ryoga and Ranko, turned to the kendoist in confusion. Unable to come up with a response for such words.

"Well, he's upgraded from Ocean Madness to Beach Madness…" Aki said as he pulled out his bat again. "TIME TO PUT KUNO OUT OF HIS MISERY!"

"Wait!" Akane shouted as she stopped Aki from clubbing Kuno, for now. "I think I see it too, look!" She pointed out to see as everyone had to squint before they both saw a white-haired catgirl with a white tiger-striped bikini appear to be surfing on the waters heading towards them.

"So he's not gone madder than usual?" Aki dejectedly said as he slumped and dropped his bat.

"Don't worry, buddy," Kenma patted the teen's back. "You'll get your chance very soon to club Kuno for his stupidity."

"Hello, island dwellers~!" The catgirl shouted to the group as she jumped into the air and landed onto shore, revealing a familiar face to the group, minus Kuno.

"Huh? Lisanna?" Nabiki asked in shock, seeing her again. Last time they saw her, her boyfriend beat up Genma and it was very satisfying to watch.

"Oh, hey guys. Didn't expect to see you on this island." Lisanna stated in surprise as she shook some water out of her hair, paws, and tail.

"Didn't expect to see you here either. But, how the hell did you get all the way out here?" Kenma asked as he tried to put together how exactly Lisanna "surfed" her way here.

His question was answered as a hulking, large, blue dragon-man wearing swim trunks came out of the water and walked onto shore. "Hello again Kenma, been a long time huh?"

"Ryu! …well, that makes sense. Lisanna just basically rode Ryu all the way out here." Kenma said bluntly, unaware of Nabiki trying VERY hard not to burst into a fit of laughter at his choice of words.

"GAH! A foul sea monster has come to claim the fair and divine AKANE TENDO!" Kuno yelled as his delusional mind made up what was happening as he pulled out a bokken to Ryu. "I SHALL SMITE—!"

CH-KOOM!

Ryu had punched Kuno in the gut when he telegraphed his vertical slash at the cursed teen and left him gasping for air. "Buddy, I just met you, and I think you're dumb. Besides, I came here with one of my girlfriends to enjoy a beach day."

"Well, talk about coincidences!" Aki said. "We came out here, and we're enjoying a beach day!"

"Yeah, we were on our way to a private island Mr. Saki owns to relax and enjoy ourselves." Ryu stated as he calmed down from dealing with a migraine named Kuno.

"But that storm threw us through a loop and we got lost." Lisanna finished as she was able to get some warm water for both her and Ryu, returning to their true forms; Lisanna was wearing a pink bikini and had a cloth wrapped around her waist to emphasize her figure.

"Oh my, the same thing happened to us as well." Kasumi said as they had encountered the same storm.

"I'm sorry if we're intruding, but could we join you guys in the fun?" Lisanna asked in genuine curiosity.

"Sure, the more the merrier." Kenma spoke up as he welcomed the duo to their impromptu beach day. "Just watch out for a pest called Happosai."

"I'm sorry, who?" Ryu asked as he felt like that name was familiar.

"INCOMING!" Ranko yelled as she landed, clutching Ukyo and Shampoo while a surfboard landed on Ryoga's head.

"Oh, good! Shampoo brought lunch!" Kenma beamed as he went over to them. "Ranma, you remember Ryu and Lisanna. Shampoo, Ukyo? Ryu, Lisanna. Lisanna, Ryu? Ukyo, Shampoo."

"Hello/Hey there." Ryu and Lisanna introduced themselves to the two female chefs they hadn't met yet.

"Oh I heard about you, are you that catgirl who gave my Ranma-honey that book to help with his cat phobia and discover he wasn't affected by catgirls?" Ukyo asked, looking at Lisanna.

"Yes, that was me." Lisanna answered.

"Thank you so much for that!" Ukyo beamed as she shook Lisanna's hands in glee. "I'm helping my sweet Ranma with his phobia when he has time," Ukyo said before she whispered, "... and the cat-girl thing definitely helped him focus on me."

Lisanna smirked like a cat seeing Ukyo blush after what she whispered. "Oh-ho-ho, I know what you mean. Just remember to use protection before you're ready." She smiled as she made Ukyo blush in embarrassment at her words. Lisanna's older sister would tease her like that when she talked about Ryu, so she had to do the same to someone else with a loving relationship.

While that happened, Kenma was about to enjoy Shampoo's meal when the container began to shake. "Uh, Shampoo… is Mousse in the container again?"

"No, he's back at Grandma's makeshift restaurant." Shampoo responded until an eerily familiar cackle was heard in the container. "AIYAH!"

Shampoo threw the container high into the air as a certain old pervert burst out.

"NEVER FEAR, HAPPY'S HERE!" he exclaimed as he landed on the ground, clad in an old-timey bathing suit.

"WHO THE HELL IS THIS?!" Ryu shouted in surprise, having never seen the old man before today.

Kenma could swear he could feel an aneurysm forming at this point, as this headache picked the worst time like always to arrive.

"This…would be Happosai, the founding master of the Anything-Goes school," he explained. "...not to mention the jerk who trained our dad and Mr. Tendo when they were younger."

"AND your master as well!" Happosai remarked, pointing at him. "Don't forget!"

"I told you, you're NOT my master!" Kenma retorted. "You've caused me and my brother nothing but trouble since you showed up!"

"Trouble? Why my boy, I give you nothing but training!" Happosai said, ignoring the rising anger from Kenma, and the lie he just told. "Besides, the beach is a wonderful place to be. Why, even the most timid of girls shed their inhibitions to become bikini-clad goddesses!"

"Yeah, and the last thing they want is to be harassed by a raisin-faced gremlin like yourself!" Kenma retorted.

"Oh please, women can't resist this charmer." Happosai said as he began rubbing himself all over Ranko. And naturally, the buxom redhead did NOT like the attention she was receiving from this lecherous pervert. "I mean, how can I stay away from sexy girls like these?"

"LIKE THIS, YOU PERVERT!" Ranko shouted as she punched Happosai away, unfortunately for her, the old leech didn't get punched away without something as he somehow took Ranko's top. Ranko panted, before looking down to see she was topless for all to see her bare bosom.

"This is why I'm telling you two yo watch out for Happosai. He is a notorious super-pervert who doesn't take no for an answer." Kenma explained, as he turned to the duo, and flinched when he noticed Lisanna was topless as well.

"KYAH! THAT PERVERT STOLE MY TOP!" Lisanna cried as she covered her bare chest with her hands, making sure no one but Ryu saw her girls.

Ryu's right eye twitched in anger as he pulled out two tekko-kage out of nowhere as he saw red. "IMMA KILL THAT PERVERT FOR MAKING MY WOMAN CRY!"

Ryu ran down the beach, chasing after the diminutive lech, on a mission to retrieve Lisanna's top. Ranko soon followed as she borrowed Ukyo's apron to protect her modesty as well, to go after Happosai once again. "Wait for me! I wanna piece of that prune-faced bastard too!" she shouted.

And so, they ran after the old horndog as he raced across the beach.

Ranma & Kenma ½
The Movie 2:

The Battle of Togenkyo! Get Back the Brides!