Movie 2, Chapter 2:
Bewitched, Bewildered, and Betrothed
MEANWHILE, ON TOGENKYO ISLE…
Akane had been brought to a chamber by Toma's cronies. Sarutoru reached up and removed her blindfold once they reached the doorway.
"We have arrived," he said as he opened the door.
As Akane opened her eyes, she was utterly bewildered at what she saw next: inside that chamber were thousands upon thousands of lovely young women!
"This is where the prince's potential brides await his consideration," commented Sarutoru.
"Brides?! You mean all of these girls—?" Akane started, while Sarutoru nodded.
"Got it in one. Now, watch out for that first step," he replied, as Wanton pushed her into the throng. Luckily, she landed on some pillows. "Enjoy your stay, miss!"
And with that, they were gone, leaving Akane amidst a tremendous bevy of beauteous babes.
"Akane? So it is you!" commented a familiar voice. As Akane looked up, she saw Ukyo making her way out of the crowd and going over to her. "Looks like they got you too, yeah?"
Akane looked around. "So all these girls are…?"
Ukyo nodded. "Every one of these girls was taken from nearby islands and forced to come here."
"So it wasn't just us that got taken," Akane realized as generally this kind of thing only happened to their group.
"Oh, I don't wanna get hitched to some guy I don't know." Ukyo said worriedly. "I'd rather be married to Ranma-honey anyday."
"Same here," Lisanna said as she walked over to the duo. "I'd rather be married to Ryu than whoever kidnapped us."
"Don't worry, Akimitsu and the others will come and save us." Akane stated, she had faith in Aki.
"That's right…and so will Ranma-honey! Oh, how could I forget my love~?" Ukyo gushed as she fantasized how Ranma would save her and the others.
"I know Ryu is coming to save us. I can always count on my handsome and hunky dragon to save me," Lisanna was flustered as her thoughts went to the same place as Ukyo.
"...it's not like he's only coming for you…" Akane said, her tone flat.
"Well, you certainly won't be making him come," Ukyo fired back at the Tendo girl.
"Ooo-oo~!" hooted Shampoo and Nabiki, as Akane's face went red with embarrassment.
"Sh-shut up!" Akane yelled as she turned her embarrassed face away.
Oh, Aki, I hope you come soon…
insert G1 Transformers scene transition here!
As this was happening, the guys had arrived at the shore of Togenkyo Island, and were climbing up the cliff side of the island.
"Sneaking onto an island, and we picked the one part where it isn't a sandy beach?!" Mousse complained as he climbed the cliff.
"Mousse, two things," Ryu stated as he glared at the male Amazon. "One, we're sneaking in stealthily. Meaning we have to not make enough noise to get attention on our location. Also a beach would be too obvious a location."
"Then what's the second thing?" asked Genma.
"The second thing is to shut up!" Kenma responded as he scurried up the cliff, in the form of a monkey.
"Thank you!" Ryu whispered loudly.
After a minute, they had reached the edge of the cliff, noticing a huge gate in the stone wall of the mountain with two guards stationed at the front. All the guys, and Ranko, hid behind some of the vegetation and trees so as not to be spotted.
"Remember, Son-in-Law, Shampoo and the others are being held hostage inside," explained Cologne.
"I remember," Kenma nodded. "So what we need is a distraction."
Just then, a warning klaxon rang out, getting everyone's attention.
"Oh, crap!" exclaimed Ranko.
"Who's the moron that set off the alarms?" Ryoga shouted out loud.
"Did any of you idiots trip any perimeter sensors or tripwires?" Ryu added as he glared at the older men specifically.
"Hey! Don't look at us!" Soun and Genma insisted.
"...on an unrelated note, has anyone seen the master?" asked Soun.
Aki furrowed his brow. "Only a master of evil," he remarked, as outside the entrance, a window broke and Happosai came running out, carrying a bagful of something over his shoulders as he bounded ahead, getting the attention of the guards.
"Catch me if ya can!" the old man laughed before Ranko caught him by the skull.
"You lousy old fart! Get yer wrinkly ass back here!" she hissed. "I swear, I can't take my eyes off you for a second!"
"Heads up!" The old windbag called with a devious chuckle as he tossed one of his signature paper machè 'Happo-Big-Bang' bombs at Ranko.
"Is that a bomb?!" Ryu asked as he flinched and jumped behind a tree.
The redheaded beauty soon found herself caught in a very impromptu game of hot potato. "Oh shit-oh shit-oh shit!" Ranko said while fumbling with the bomb.
And suddenly, the bomb went off!
KA-BLAMSKI!
As the guards came over, they spotted Ranko lying on her face, unconscious.
"One of Prince Toma's candidates. We'd better get this one back inside." The two said as they carried Ranko into the palace.
None of them noticed Kenma, in monkey form, scurrying behind and slipping inside.
"...well, that's one way to sneak in." Ryu stated in disbelief that it actually worked out for them.
"Indeed, and thanks to the master, we found our way inside." Soun stated as he looked at the broken window that Happosai used to escape.
"Well, what're we waiting for?" asked Happosai. "Move it already! Those beautiful babes are inside, waiting for me!"
"If he so much as thinks about touching my girlfriend…" Ryu grumbled to himself, as everyone but the pervert heard him. And none of them saw anything wrong with Happosai getting his just desserts if he tried.
MEANWHILE, INSIDE…
"This is the last female," said one of the guards as they brought Ranko inside.
"And apparently she's got a pet monkey," said the other as they noticed Monkey-Kenma perched on her shoulder. "Like that Pippi Longstocking girl."
"How now, what's this?" asked Torristan. "Haven't we met somewhere before, Miss?"
Ranko swallowed nervously. "Oh...oh, dear...you're not trying to come on to me, are you?" she asked, giggling a bit.
Torristan blushed like crazy. "N-no!" he insisted. "It's just that I somehow feel that we've met somewhere before..."
Ranko then made her way towards the door, but she was politely stopped by Sarutoru.
"Pardon me, Miss," he explained. "You'll be presented to Prince Toma shortly. For now, please pick an ensemble appropriate to the occasion."
Monkey-Kenma's eyebrows rose in shock, as did Ranko's. Luckily, she regained her composure.
"Don't worry," she giggled. "I'll be ever-so-pretty for him!"
And with that, she headed into another room.
Once she closed the doors behind her, Ranko and Kenma both saw that this room was filled with rows upon rows of beautiful clothes! [Hey, that rhymes!]
"Wooow…" commented Ranko. "Where'd they get all this junk?"
"Possibly stolen—oh, and name-brand too; not even knockoff designs, they have taste," Cologne said, startling both brothers. "Like the young maidens from the surrounding islands."
"When'd you get here, Granny?" asked Ranko.
"Hello, Brother-of-Son-in-Law," smirked the old woman. "Shall we play a bit of dress-up?"
Ranko sighed in relief. "Thanks a ton, Granny," she replied. "I never was too good at this stuff."
Insert Preparation Montage Here!
It had been almost an hour, and Toma's men had grown bored from waiting. Just when it seemed like they'd be growing roots, the doors finally opened.
"I'm ready~!" Ranko declared as she emerged. She was clad in a stunning turquoise dress with a ruby brooch in the center, her long red hair was done up in a ponytail with a big white bow, and she had on a pair of teardrop-shaped earrings.
Sarutoru and the other guards were all stunned at the transformation…and so was Kenma, whose face was redder than Ranko's own hair!
"This way, Miss," said Sarutoru as he regained his speech abilities. "Allow me to escort you to your audience."
Ranko let off another giggle. "Well, alright! Lead the way!" she insisted as she got moving.
Stupid heels, she growled under her breath. How th' hell does ANYBODY walk in these? I swear, they were made by Satan to torture women…
"Patience, brother-of-son-in-law," urged Cologne. "We must bide our time."
"Right, but I cannot wait to get outta these." the redhead as she walked inside.
The primate man led the two brothers into the main Rotunda.
"Wow! That little pipsqueak's hoggin' so many girls!" Ranko said in awe.
"You're tellin' me!" commented Kenma. "This makes th' Playboy Mansion look like a nunnery!"
"Oh, my. Isn't that Ranma?" observed Kasumi from nearby, as she was sitting with the rest of the girls. She was clad in a lovely powder-blue dress.
"Ranma-honey!" Ukyo beamed as she got to her feet. She was clad in a pink dress with a v-cut which showed off her chest, along with a pearl necklace and a blue jewel atop her head.
Before she could go over to him, Shampoo beat her to the punch. "RANMA~!" she exclaimed happily, clad in a bright yellow dress, pumps, and two holly-esque decorations in her hair buns. Before Ranko could react, Shampoo was glomping her especially close, and hugging her tightly.
"Oh~! Guh! Shamp, couldja ease up a bit? My nipples are super-sensitive, and they're rubbing against yours." Ranko said with a blush.
"Oh, sorry. By the way, who's your new friend?" the Chinese Amazon asked, referring to Monkey-Kenma.
"Well, I wouldn't say 'new', but I'm definitely familiar." he responded before he did a few familiar poses, finishing up with the Kamehameha pose. "Didja figure it out yet, or do you wanna phone a friend?" he asked.
"KENMA!" Shampoo exclaimed, trapping him in a hug. Of course, being in his monkey form, he was exceptionally close to her chest, which left him red-faced and seriously aroused.
"Heh…hee-haah…nice to see you too~" he gushed, his tail curling into a heart shape.
"So, what exactly's goin' on here?" inquired Ranko. "I figured the little snot would have you all in chains, waitin' on him hand-an'-foot!"
"You see, we thought we were brought here to be concubines, but it turns out that…" began Kasumi.
"They treat us like we're some kinda fancy princesses here!" Ukyo finished.
"Princesses?" murmured Ranko.
"Yeah, the treatment is nice, but I don't want to be a concubine," Lisanna complained as she was wearing a purple dress with a white long skirt.
"Speaking of which…where the hell's Nabiki?" Kenma asked as he looked around.
As if on cue, Nabiki was brought in riding a chaise lounge, carried by six of Toma's manservants. Kenma took a look over, and his eyes nearly bulged out of his skull! Nabiki was clad in a very sultry dress with a very open front that went down to her waist, with a gold belt around that area, and a gold hoop around her neck.
"It's true, ya know. The men here will do anything we ask." the money-hungry mercenary girl stated. "I simply can't stop laughing. It's wonderful! More Oolong Tea, please."
"Yes, Ma'am." one of the servants said as he refilled Nabiki's glass.
"Nabiki, don't you think you're overdoing it just a little?" asked Akane.
The miserly girl scoffed. "Akane, in case you've forgotten, we live in a very low-income household. I think I'm allowed to spoil myself just a little bit."
"Huh. Guess they take this harem stuff pretty seriously." Ranko observed before doing a double take, as she heard the sound of a bongo.
"Oh-kay, all you cool kittens; now comes the moment you've all been waitin' for!" said Sarutoru's voice over the intercom. "The Master of Illusions, the Prince of Togenkyo Island…the hippest hepcat around...the one, and only, incomparable—TOMA!"
A flash of blinding light appeared briefly before revealing the prince, who politely waved to the crowd.
"Oh my! He's younger than us." Kasumi observed.
"Yeah, by about ten years," added Ukyo. "That tadpole's got some serious growing to do."
"Too young for my tastes," Lisanna added along with the others.
"Well, I don't mind at all." Nabiki shrugged. "Sure he's a bit…tender, but the one who marries him becomes this island's queen, right? That's good enough for me." she finished before laying back on the lounge with a soft moan. "Mmm~"
Upon hearing that, Kenma's eyes bulged out of his skull, and he let off a groan of arousal as he crossed his legs. Shampoo seductively licked her lips from the other side of the table.
"Nabiki! We've gotta think of a way to get out of here!" Akane nagged, not noticing that Ranko lept away.
"Ranma, where are you going?" Shampoo asked, but she received no answer since she was too far away for Ranko to hear.
Finally, the redhead landed in front of Toma on his porch, while sitting in his chair.
Now to turn on the charm, thought Ranko. "Hi there, little prince~" she purred in a sultry voice, getting very close to Toma's body.
"Wh-who are you?" asked the prince, slightly hot under his collar.
"Why, surely you haven't forgotten your beloved fiancee!" insisted Ranko.
"I'm certain I have," retorted Toma. "And don't call me 'Shirley'." [AN: We apologize for using a joke that's older than my grandparents.]
"Oh! How can you say that? It's been 13 years and 3 months since we were promised to each other!" the redhead pleaded while eyeing up the gourd on the young prince's belt.
As Ranko tried to stealthily take the gourd, Toma pulled out his sheathed sword and pointed it at Ranko. "I'm sorry, but I do not know who you are," he informed her. "However, if you wish to become my bride, you are allowed to partake in the Martial Arts Marriage Contest."
"The what?" Ranko asked in confusion.
Monkey-Kenma facepalmed hearing that as well. "Why does every damn thing we get involved in have to have some Martial-Arts spin to it?" he groused.
Suddenly, Sarutoru pulled out a microphone and spoke to the crowd of women. "Attention, all you fine women, we shall now begin the Martial Arts Marriage Contest. One of you lucky women may win this event and take your place besides Prince Toma as his bride!"
"Why bother holding a competition? Besides, I'm gonna win," Ranko stated in a cocky tone.
"What?" Akane asked in disbelief.
"You feeling okay, Ranma-honey?" Ukyo asked, concerned about her boyfriend.
"Should we be worried?" Lisanna asked, not sure how to process Ranko's words.
"Probably," Kenma responded. "If anything involves martial arts, Ranma becomes totally, utterly determined to win. It's like he's possessed or something!"
"For the first contest," Sarutoru announced like a game show host. "The bride of Prince Toma must demonstrate both grace and patience. To do this, you must move grains of rice from one plate to another."
Some of Toma's guards were handing out the items to the women, a pair of chopsticks and two plates with one of them having rice on it.
"What kind of juvenile challenge is this?" Nabiki deadpanned at the challenge.
"This is kinda dumb," Shampoo comments.
"Why do we even have to go along with this?" Ukyo questioned.
"Yeah, what makes you think we're even gonna do these challenges?" Lisanna
asked as she was definitely against this.
"Because if you don't, I'll be forced to give you something." Torristan said as he pulled a paper slip out of his pocket.
"What the heck is this?" Ukyo looked at the paper in question.
"An invoice. First we have the dress rental fee, make-up, food, butler's fee, hair dressing, lodging, male assistant wages and other miscellaneous costs. All totaling up to 103,000 yen." the masked man explained.
Both Shampoo and Ukyo screamed in fear at such a huge bill. "You mean this wasn't for free?!" Shampoo yelled in shock.
"Those who refuse to participate in the contest must settle their accounts," Torristan informed them.
"So you mean to tell us..." Lisanna said as she was frustrated by this sudden development. "You guys kidnap us, take us to be this Prince's concubines, force us into doing this contest for being his bride, and if we refuse to do this, you slap us with the bill?!"
"In a matter of words…yes," Torristan nodded.
"Where the hell are we supposed to get the money for it? In case you didn't notice, we don't have any on hand!" Ukyo glared at the masked man.
"Well, then I guess you'd better participate," Torristan replied, his mask concealing what was undoubtedly a smug smirk. "So that way, you don't have to worry about answering that question."
Oh, these guys are gonna pay big time…and not with money, Monkey-Kenma thought as he glared at the masked man, as he kept quiet to keep up the charade.
"Ready…set…GO!" Sarutoru shouted as he pulled out a starter's pistol and fired the blank.
As the women reluctantly took part in the challenge, [it was a better alternative than having to pay a hefty bill], Ranko took it upon herself to use her Kachū Tenshin Amaguriken (Y'know, the Roasted Chestnut Fist!) to swiftly pluck the grains of rice off the first plate and move them to the next.
Thanks, Kenma, for helpin' teach me this 'ere technique; definitely makes things easier, Ranko thought as she finished in a matter of seconds. "I'm done, see!"
Ranko ran up to the announcer as she showed him her work. "See that?" she gestured. "When it comes to Martial Arts, there's no denying it: I—am—the—best~!"
"That was boring; hardly even fun," Toma dejectedly stated, much to the redhead's ire. "Sarutoru, next challenge."
"Yes, milord," nodded Sarutoru.
"What's the deal?" snapped Ranko. "I won that one fair and square!"
Toma rolled his eyes. "Maybe, but it was boring," he replied. "And for that you get zero points."
"Zero points?!" sputtered Ranko. "You can't do that!"
"Oh, I'm sorry; who is the prince of Togenkyo Island, and the self-proclaimed master of illusions?" Toma asked smugly. "Because from where I'm sitting, it would appear that I very much can do that if I please. Now, you'd better hurry along, or the next contest will start without you~"
Ranko stormed back with the other girls in anger, breaking the chopsticks she had in half in a fit of anger.
"That spoiled, mouthy little punk…!" she seethed.
"Real great prince they got here," Nabiki commented dryly. "I don't think his parents gave him enough spankings when he was little."
"Oh I'll give the little brat plenty of spankings when I get my hands on 'im!" Kenma growled before he realized what he said. "...that didn't sound right out loud."
"Y'know, this might be the first time a monkey was doing the spanking, Kenma," commented Nabiki.
"What?!" Kenma sputtered. "How'd you know it was me?"
"I know my monkey-boy," Nabiki replied. "You can change your shape, but your eyes don't lie. Besides, that little moan earlier was a test to gauge things."
"And for the next event, Combat Survival Flower Arranging!" Sarutoru announced as the guards brought in a giant covered object to the center of the room.
"Uh, did he just say 'Combat Survival'?!" Akane asked, terrified by that title.
As the guards pulled the tarp off, underneath was a giant plant with orange pitcher plant bulbs, monstrous flytraps, and wiggling vines all around. Each of the guards handed the women pairs of scissors to use against the monstrous plant, when personally, they'd have been better off with hedge trimmers or chainsaws.
"Let the contest begin!" Sarutoru shouted.
"Oh, my, such a wild-looking weed," Kasumi gasped when she saw the viciously violent vegetation.
"That's putting it MILDLY!" Nabiki countered as she backed away slowly.
"If that thing starts saying 'FEED ME', I'm running like hell," Lisanna said as she followed Nabiki's actions and backed away. But before they could get far, the vines wrapped around them and caught them in its embrace.
"Ah, hell!" Kenma exclaimed. "That oversized weed has Nabiki and Lisanna captive! And I don't think it wants an audience—I think it wants lunch!"
"Hm, arrange it?" Ranko asked as she had a big grin on her face. "I can do that easy!" She shouted before pulling out a giant pair of hedge trimmers half her size.
She then let out a big battle cry as she leapt at the man-eating plant, and began clipping. Using one of the detached vines, the redhead lassoed the giant plant and swung it around until it landed perfectly atop the water fountain.
"Saotome-Style Flower Arrangement." Ranko confidently said while she took a bow.
The other women were in awe of the feat and arrangement as Toma was clapping out of joy. "Haha, brava, brava, that was marvelous!" he exclaimed.
As Ranko smirked at the praise, her glory was short-lived as Akane punched her in the back of the head. "OW! Whatcha done that for?!"
"Quit screwing around and save us, starting with my sister!" Akane growled in anger at the cursed teen before pointing at the plant.
Ranko and Kenma both looked up as Ranko blushed and Kenma had to control the nosebleed he was getting. Nabiki was tied to the plant in a very provocative manner as she let out a few moans from how the vines were wrapped around her body, with an upside-down Lisanna right next to her.
"Ah~ this is worse—ah—than the whole—oh, Kami—Seven Lucky Gods situation," Nabiki moaned amidst her complaints.
"Seven Lucky Gods?" Lisanna asked as she had to hold her dress up to prevent anything from being seen if it fell while upside-down.
"Long story…tell you after we get outta here!" Nabiki moaned again as Ranko went up to free the two girls.
Ranko used the giant hedge clippers from before to cut the vines. Both girls were soon back on the ground, safe and sound.
"Ah! That's better!" Nabiki said while rubbing her sore arms. "Any longer up there and I think those vines would've sliced me in half."
"And I really didn't want to accidentally flash everyone. That's for my boyfriend's and Karai's eyes only!" Lisanna exclaimed as she was back on her feet.
"That was very entertaining," Toma applauded before he snapped his fingers and turned to Sarutoru. "Time for the next challenge."
"Hold on!" exclaimed Ranko. "You mean I get zero points AGAIN?!"
Toma chuckled. "Oh, don't be ridiculous," he replied. "It wouldn't be much fun if a girl won so easily, now would it?"
"For the next event, Prince Toma's bride must be healthy and physically fit, so with that, a short marathon right now!" Sarutoru announced as one of the doors opened as the girls began to run away in fear.
"Huh?" Ranko was confused as she turned and saw an army of mice running into the room.
"Oh c'mon, you call this terrifying? Mice are pathetic and harmless," Ranko's cocky attitude ever present as there was a new noise among the mice. "I mean, really? Meow-meowing like a bunch of—wait a minute…mice don't meow."
Suddenly through the doors, a horde of cats soon entered the chambers. Granted Ranko has come a way since trying some techniques and exercises in combating his Ailurophobia, making him start to handle a couple cats at a time, two being the max. But right now…
"CAAAAAAAAAATS!" Ranko freaked out and ran away like a scaredy-cat (hehe, ironic).
"KIIIIIIIITTTTIESSSSSS!" Lisanna exclaimed, as she ran towards the cats and began to play with and pet them as much as she could, feeling like she was in heaven right now.
"Huh…she really does love cats," Kenma said as he saw Lisanna among the cats, all the while trying to calm Ranko down…before she ran into a tree hard.
Toma just laughed his ass off. "What a bubbleheaded bimbo!" he guffawed, kicking his legs in the air.
MEANWHILE…
As the Martial Arts Bridal Contest was underway, the guys had snuck into the fortress. Ryoga entered silently as Ryu landed next, before the rest of the rescue party fell on top of Ryoga in a heap.
"Why did you morons land on me?!" Ryoga grunted from under the pile, as Ryu was scanning the hallway looking for guards or his kidnapped Lisanna.
"If you pellet-brains are done goofin' around, we gotta find Kasumi and the others!" Jinn exclaimed as he uprooted himself from the pile.
Happosai then landed on them and bounced onto the ground. "Thanks for the soft landing, boys, now follow me to the bountiful babes!"
"He may be ancient, but he's still our master," Genma stated as he stood up.
"Even though he chases women around sometimes," Soun added before he got grunts and coughs from the younger guys as they gave the older men a look that screamed, 'Really? Really?!'
"Okay fine, LOTS of times," Genma sighed in defeat.
"LOTS of women," Soun confirmed as Happosai's antics were infamous.
"Now that we got the truth out of the way…" Aki smirked as he pulled out his hockey mask and bat. "Where are the girls being held?"
"That, to paraphrase, is the $64,000,000 question," said Jinn as he conjured up a magnifying glass. "Now we just gotta find the answer."
"Better be soon, or I'm busting skulls open!" Ryu growled as he cracked his knuckles in preparation.
"Patience, because I've found the door we've been searching for!" Happosai stated in his usual manner.
"So beyond that door is where Akane and the rest of them are…" noted Ryoga.
"Let's go free them!" Mousse declared.
"Wait, guys! That's not the right—" began Jinn, but his call was drowned out by the bonehead brigade racing in and throwing the doors open.
Of course, instead of the girls, all they found was a room full of guards. Short ones, tall ones, fat ones, skinny ones. You name it.
"Oh, wouldja look at that? This isn't the gym! Sorry to interrupt you," Ryoga tried to play off as he closed the door.
"All I see is a nice warm-up!" Ryu shouted as he jumped through the open door before Ryoga closed it.
"...did Ryu just do what I think he just did?" Jinn asked in shock before a brawl could be heard inside the room.
"He sacrificed himself to save us in our valiant search for the missing women," Kuno spoke up as he saw this as a warrior's sacrifice.
"Oh, shut up! We gotta help before he's too injured!" Aki shouted as he rushed to the door, not noticing that the noise inside died down. "Ryu! Are you—"
Aki's words were stuck in his throat as he saw what happened, all the guards had been absolutely brutalized. One glance around and Akimistu could see they had at least several broken bones, dislocated arms, bruises all over their bodies and one guy stuck in a wall. As everyone turned around, they saw Ryu holding one of the guards by his collar.
"WHERE ARE THE GIRLS?!" he roared. "TELL ME NOW, OR I WILL MAKE YOU SUFFER!" he added, his voice turning demonic on the last few words.
The guard was scared as he answered the angry teen, "Th-the ballroom! They're in the ballroom competing for the chance to become Prince Toma's bride! Please don't kill me!"
Ryu responded to the answer by punching him in the gut, knocking the man out. "Time to find the ballroom and get the girls before they're forced into marrying that snot-nosed brat!"
"Holy crap!" Mousse shouted as he saw what they all saw, as well as gaining a new respect for the teen and a slight fear of him at the same time.
"Ah relax, I needed to release some pent-up rage, and these idiots just happened to fit the bill. Besides, not the first time I fought a group of thugs," Ryu said before he left the room.
"So, which way to the ballroom?" Jinn asked as he tried to find any signs to where they should go.
Before one of them suggested which way, a group of guards, double the size of the ones in the room, came down one end of the hallway. "Hey! Intruders, get them!"
"My guess is this way!" Genma shouted as he ran in the opposite direction of the guards followed by the group.
MEANWHILE, AT THAT VERY MOMENT…
Kenma continued to try, to no avail, to get Ranko to calm down, before she smacked right into another palm tree. Lisanna, however, was still playing with the kitties while Ranko was freaking out.
Toma found this little flub-up to be the height of hilarity. "What a stupid woman!" he laughed as he watched the events unfold.
"Young Prince, don't you think it's time for you to choose your future bride?" asked Sarutoru, hopeful.
"Gods, no, Sarutoru," scoffed Toma. "At least not yet, that is. I've gone so long without any entertainment, I can't remember the last time I laughed this hard," he pointed at the very panicked redhead with the monkey on her shoulder. "I mean, look at her! Isn't she hilarious?"
Sarutoru sighed, disappointed in the immaturity of his young master.
"Oh, my," sighed Kasumi. "I do hope Ranma wasn't badly hurt."
Nabiki cupped her hands around her mouth. "Ranma! Don't give up, get back on your feet!" she shouted, her gestures making her chest bounce visibly. "You're fighting for all of us too, y'know!"
Kenma watched, transfixed at the sight of those bouncing orbs…before he quickly wrapped his tail around his waist to cover his lower region, and blushed sheepishly.
How ya doin', bro? he asked via their psychic link, while Ranko stumbled back to her feet, dizzied but still determined.
"Imma...I'm all good." She said as she stumbled to her feet and shook her head.
"...to cook a gourmet meal under the most trying of conditions," continued Sarutoru. "The Obstacle Course Cooking Race!"
"Cooking, huh? Eh, this should be a piece of cake!" the redhead confidently stated.
Soon, everyone was fully-equipped and ready.
"On your marks…get set—" began Sarutoru, right before the doors of the chamber burst open, and in came Jinn, Akimitsu, Ryu, Ryoga, Mousse, and the others.
"Now where are we?" asked Ryoga.
"I can't say for sure, but I think we've reached our destination!" Jinn remarked as he noticed the abundance of girls.
"That's…" the bandana-wearing boy began, before he was cut off by Akimitsu.
"It's Akane, no doubt about it!" he remarked.
"And there's Lisanna!" Ryu pointed out.
"Hey! What's the meaning of this?" Sarutoru asked angrily.
"How dare you trespass here!" scolded Toristan.
"How dare WE?! How dare you take our girls, you bride-nappers!" Mousse spat.
"You disrespectful louts are in the presence of Prince Toma!" declared Sarutoru.
"I don't give a rat's ass if he's the King of England!" Ryu yelled back, anger boiling up.
"Give us back our girls, or else!" Jinn bellowed.
Toma raised a brow. "Hmm…perhaps this will liven things up some more," he smirked. "I could always do with more entertainment."
"Take them!" Sarutoru declared as he put his hand out, dispatching the guards into combat as they surrounded the guys.
"Saotome!"
"Shall we?"
"I don't like it, but—"
"FOR SHAMPOO!"
"And Akane!"
"Let's just thwomp 'em already!"
"You're gonna pay for taking Lisanna!"
All at once, it was a full-fledged battle royale, with the boys from Nerima taking on the Togenkyo Guards with surprising displays of power and skill!
Kuno made quick work of the assailants with his Bokken, while Mousse unleashed a volley of chained weapons at them, Soun and Genma were throwing surprisingly powerful kicks and punches, Aki was thwacking guys in the heads with his sports gear, and Jinn decided to unleash some of his genie fury, while Ryu was utterly relentless in his battling.
"These guys are slightly better than training dummies!" Mousse said while swiping at the guards with his tekko-kagi claws.
"You can compliment 'em later; first we got the power, now we save the women," Jinn remarked, doing a brief impression of Tony Montana.
"It's turning into a total free-for-all!" Akane exclaimed, before she winced. "Ranma, whaddo we do?"
But as she turned around, she saw that Ranko was the only one still focused on the cooking portion.
Monkey-Kenma sighed and shook his head. "Toldja. When he's really committed to something, it's like he's possessed."
"Just gotta keep stirring this rice…" said Ranko, before she received a hard boot in the skull, courtesy of Genma.
"DAMN IT, BOY, HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!" the man scowled. "STOP SLAVING OVER A HOT STOVE AND JOIN IN THE FIGHT! YOU'RE A MAN, SO ACT LIKE IT!"
Ranko shot a piercing glare at her father. "...you ruined the omelet rice…" she hissed between her teeth.
As the fracas continued, Toma watched it all from his chair, laughing and clapping with glee.
"Oh, wow! This is tremendous!" he chortled. "What a great show! All it needs now is some fireworks, and we'll be all set!"
He was so busy laughing at the events that were occurring, he didn't even notice that a certain long-haired okonomiyaki chef was suddenly standing right next to him.
"Huh?" Toma asked, seeing Ukyo right in front of him, drawing back her hand. "Who are yo—"
SMACK!
The next thing Toma knew, his left cheek now had a stinging red hand-print on it.
Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing at the sound of the echoing slap, and Sarutoru immediately turned and came up the stairs.
"How dare you put your hands upon the prince!" the primate man exclaimed.
"I don't care if he's the duke of weselton!" Ukyo snapped. "This little punk's got a lotta nerve, putting people through hell for his own entertainment. He oughta be ashamed of himself! Maybe he'd better grow up a little before he even considers marriage!"
Toma seemed more surprised than angry as he rubbed his cheek…nobody had ever been bold enough to slap him. "What is your name?" the prince asked calmly.
"Huh? Ukyo Kuonji," answered the chef, slightly confused.
"Ukyo Kuonji…such a name…" Toma repeated to himself, before turning to his lead manservant. "Sarutoru, I've made my choice. This one shall be my bride."
"Oh? Very good then, lord." Sarutoru responded. "And what shall we do with the others?"
Toma shrugged. "Do what you wish; divvy them up amongst yourselves, if you wish," he replied.
Sarutoru bowed. "You are a just and noble ruler, Prince Toma," he said, before turning to his fellow servants and soldiers.
"...HEY, EVERYBODY!" he called. "WE'RE ALL GONNA GET LAID!"
"YEAH!" the guards all cheered.
Toristan and Wanton looked at each other, and headed off to make their picks before the girls had all been snatched up.
"Oh, my! Does that mean what I think it means?" Kasumi asked before being picked up like a suitcase and carried away by one of the guards.
"Kasumi!" Jinn shouted as he formed a whirlwind beneath his feet and took off after them.
Then the other girls were carried away by the guards, with Aki giving chase to them on his way to rescue Akane.
"Ryu, help me!" Lisanna screamed as she was taken away by a guard, over his shoulder.
"LISANNA!" Ryu shouted as his eyes began to glow in anger at the guard who took his girlfriend. However a guard used the opportunity to deliver a cheap-shot and knocked Ryu down before he could give chase.
After the Guards took all the girls, all the Nerima men were shown to be on the ground knocked over or trampled during the women being taken away, except for Aki and Jinn.
"Crud! They're gettin' away!" Ranko exclaimed.
"They won't get far! Not on our watch!" Monkey-Kenma reassured as he changed back into human form.
"Good idea, Ken." The redhead said before twirling her skirt around and changing out of her gown and back into her normal clothes, as quick as a flash. "Good thing Tsubasa taught me that trick."
"What a prize, eh, Wonton?" asked Toristan as he raced off carrying Shampoo.
"Aroo!" the dog-brained man responded as he carried Nabiki out of the room.
Sarutoru was hooting in manic glee while he carried Akane off in his arms, but he had Aki hot on his heels and tracking him down.
Toma chuckled. "Spirited fellows, aren't they?" he asked. "Good men, each and every one of them. Alright, Ukyo, we're going."
And he took off, pulling the long-haired brunette with him. As Ranko glanced upwards, the last thing she saw was Toma and Ukyo vanishing in a glimmer of purple light.
Smile while you can, brat, she vowed internally. Because I'm gonna get my girl, AND I'll get that water, too! The whole enchilada!
"Just a moment, Ranma." Cologne said, beckoning Ranko to come closer.
"Yeah, Granny?" she asked.
"Here's a little somethin' that might come in handy in case Toma uses that mirage trick again." the amazon elder said as she reached into her pocket and took out a pin with a red feather on top.
Ranko looked at the object, a bit curious.
"I think I get what she's driving at!" Kenma observed, catching on.
"A pin? How's this supposed to help?"
"Think about it!" Kenma replied. "What better way to remind yourself it's not real, than feeling something that is real?"
"Ohh! So you mean I should poke myself with it?" Ranko asked, finally getting the point.
"Pretty much, yeah," her brother replied.
"Hmmm, that actually makes sense. Thanks, Granny."
"You're welcome, Sonny." Cologne nodded "Now you be careful out there, you two. Shampoo's counting on you."
"Right!" Ranko said before heading off to rescue Ukyo, and Kenma went off to go find Nabiki first.
"Well, Saotome, I suppose we should get to work on rescuing the other girls." Soun said, recognizing that his daughters weren't the only ones in danger.
"No time like the present, Tendo." Genma agreed. "We'll just have to make sure that the master doesn't follow us."
The two ran off to the other rooms in the palace while the other boys woke up and fanned out in different directions.
Meanwhile in one of the love chambers, Nabiki was continuously hitting Wonton in the place with a pillow.
"Ugh! Say something, dammit!" Nabiki said as she was getting annoyed by the silent man's dog-like mannerisms.
"Ok, before we even think about doing anything frisky, you're going to have to bring something to the table." the miserly girl said, referring to money.
Then, Wonton went down to the floor and picked up a bone with a pink bow on it
"Aroo-roo!" he softly barked.
"A bone?" Nabiki asked with a raised eyebrow. "Just because I'm high-maintenance does not make me a poodle."
Suddenly, Kuno burst through the door. "Fear not, Nabiki Tendo! I shall smite this wretched fiend and save you!" the swordsman proclaimed as he rushed in with his bokken in the air, ready to swing. But he was then floored by Wonton as he casually planted his giant hand right in Kuno's face.
SPLAP.
"Hey," said Kenma as he strode in through the opened doors. "You alright, Nabiki?"
"I'm fine, but Kuno-baby isn't exactly doing so well," Nabiki commented as she knelt at his side and began rifling through his pockets.
"Still on the clock, huh?" Kenma asked. "Hey, bean-brain; are you alive?" he asked Kuno.
It hadn't even been a second before the wannabe samurai leapt back to his feet, brandishing his bokken. "Curse you, dog-man!" he bellowed. "For daring to humiliate the great Tatewaki Kuno in such a manner, you must be PUNISHED!"
While Kuno made his angry declaration, Kenma took a look over at Wanton and saw that the dog-like man wasn't even paying attention. Rather, his focus was targeting Kuno's bokken.
Why? What's so fascinating about that thing, anyway? Kenma thought. It's just long and made…of…wood…
DING!
A crafty smile formed on Kenma's face. Hel-lo, inspiration.
"...for starters, I shall take a rolled-up newspaper and smack you right on your nose—" Kuno continued, before he suddenly noticed his hands were empty [as were his pockets, but that isn't important right now]. "Eh? Where is my trusty sword? To where has it vanished?!" he asked as he looked around, before he saw Kenma waving it around before Wanton's eyes.
As Kenma did, he noticed the dog-man's eyes and motions followed the bokken as he waved it around, and that confirmed his plan would be successful.
"You want the stick, boy?" asked Kenma in a playful tone, waving it around. "You want it? Huh? Do-ya-do-ya-do-ya?!"
Wanton barked happily, while Nabiki and Kuno stared on in a mire of amusement and utter confusion.
"You want the stick? Yeah? Yeah?" Kenma continued waving it as he lured Wanton out into the hallway.
His answer came in the form of more barking.
"Well, then…GO-O-O-O GET IT!" Kenma exclaimed as he wound up his arm, drew back, and pitched the bokken down the hallway.
Quick as a shot, Wanton dropped to all fours, and scampered off down the long hallway, in hot pursuit of that precious stick, barking all the way.
As he leapt into the air and grabbed the stick, Wanton crashed into the wall at the end of the hallway, and fell on the floor, dizzy.
Once Kenma was certain that he'd been dealt with, he returned to the room. "And that's the way we get it done!" he declared triumphantly.
"Oooo-kay…so that happened." Nabiki said, pleasantly confused.
"I said I'd save you…and I did," Kenma told her as he scooped the money-hungry brunette up in his arms. "Besides, you absolutely dominate that outfit. Seein' you all dressed like that has been driving me WILD~!"
"Oh, of course it does, Ken." Nabiki said with a small chuckle as she struck a seductive pose. "Maybe when all this is over, you and I could get some private time."
At this point, Kenma had to wipe his mouth because his drool had made a small puddle. Of course, once he wiped his mouth, he immediately began hooting and pounding his chest. Before he could go any further, Nabiki placed a finger to his lips.
"Slow down there, tiger," she insisted. "Sure you saved me, but remember: Shampoo still needs you. So you'd best get a move on. And when you come back, remember that all this will be ready and waiting~"
Kenma clenched his fists, and swallowed heavily. "...you're right," he said. "She needs me, and I gotta go help!" Cracking his neck and shaking his arms out, Kenma stood tall before he headed off in search of the Chinese girl.
MEANWHILE…
Akane was being held in one of the other love nests by Sarutoru, where for some strange reason, she was griping about the events that had led up to this moment.
"Figures; I get kidnapped by a second-string henchman…" she groused. "How come Toma didn't choose me? Not that I wanted to be chosen, mind you; it's just that something about it doesn't feel right…"
Sarutoru had been listening to the girl's grumbling for the better half of an hour, and it was making him bored & sleepy. If this is what girls could be like, then he'd either find a lady in his age group or just become a monk.
…seriously, when had this girl just realized that the world didn't revolve around her singular existence?
"...then all of a sudden, this giant panda shows up out of NOWHERE and brings two redheads—"
Oh, Kami, she's talking about her past, Sarutoru groaned inwardly. Something, ANYTHING, alleviate this agony…
And at that moment, Akimistu furiously kicked in the door.
"Akane?!" he cried out, hoping that this was the right room.
"I'm here, Akimistu!" the blue-haired girl answered. "Thank goodness you came when you did! There's no telling what this guy could've done to me!"
"To be perfectly honest with you, I was immediately turned off the second she started talking," replied Sarutoru. "I swear, it's been an hour and a half since the ranting began! Never before have I longed with such fervor for the blessing of deafness until I heard this girl speak!"
"Now wait just a minute here!" Akane declared as she stood up. "So you're saying I talk too much, is that it?"
"I'm saying you need a reality check!" Sarutoru replied. "Not everything revolves around you! I'm sorry you got forced into an arranged marriage by your father, but for the love of Takahashi, just make like a desert and dry up already!"
"I have never been so insulted in all my life!"
"Probably because if anyone ever badmouthed you, you'd beat them to a bloody pulp!"
"I didn't come here to be insulted!"
"Oh? Where do you usually go?"
"I've beaten people into low Earth orbit for less than that!"
"Well, then you need a therapist, but I dunno if there's one even qualified enough or paid well enough to deal with the hot mess that is your life! Hell, I don't even know why all the boys at your school are supposedly obsessed with you! Maybe they're masochists!" Sarutoru exclaimed as he threw his hands up. "...you know what? Fuck this shit, just take her already. She is not worth the aggravation. You don't even have to fight me for her, I'm just gonna let you take her and leave. Then when you're gone, I'm gonna punch out and find some Tylenol."
Aki blinked a few times before he shook off the confusion and picked Akane up in his arms. "I hope this isn't too forward of me," he told her.
"No, this is fine. Let's just get outta here." she said, still salty from Sarutoru's previous comments.
"Okay, then." the young sportsman shrugged as he walked out of the room with Akane in tow, hugging her tightly to his chest.
As they left, Ryoga finally found his way over. "Don't worry, Akane, I'm here to rescue—" he began, before he saw that Aki had Akane in his arms.
"It's been handled," Aki told him as he walked past, leaving the bandana-headed boy dumbstruck.
"B-but…but I—" Ryoga struggled to find the words as the girl he loved for SOME reason and his one-sided rival [not even that; to call him a 'rival' would mean Ryoga had some chance of winning Akane over and getting her out of Aki's clutches] passed him by, leaving him in the proverbial dust.
At this point, the bandana-wearing boy had been petrified—both figuratively and literally.
... ... ...
Meanwhile, as Soun and Genma were busy saving the other girls from the guards, they happened to bump into Jinn while he was searching for Kasumi.
"Any sign of Kasumi?" the genie asked.
"Sorry, Jinn. Not yet." the Tendo Patriarch answered with a concerned look.
"We've gone through every one of these rooms and we still haven't seen hair nor hide of her." Genma chimed in.
"Damn it…where could she be?" Jinn panicked before hearing a very familiar humming. "...hey, wait a second; I'd recognize that humming anywhere!"
"Oh! Hello, Jinn; hello Father…Mr. Saotome," The elder Tendo sister greeted with a friendly wave and a smile. Genma, of course, did not receive a smile or a wave.
"Kasumi! Thank Kami you're safe!" exclaimed Jinn as he flew over, picked up the long-haired brunette, and twirled her around in his arms. "Oh, I missed ya so much!"
"I was worried." Soun said, relieved that his daughter was safe and sound. "But isn't that one of the guards?"
"Why, yes. He was feeling hungry and he wanted me to cook for him. We just finished picking up the ingredients," Kasumi said while the guard gave a pleasant smile.
"Oh. Well then, you be sure to whip him up something good!"
"Of course, Father."
"How about I come with you, huh?" asked Jinn. "We can cook it together!"
"That'd be wonderful, Jinn. I could use an extra hand." the Tendo sister said with her usual pleasant smile as she led the way.
"Mother a' mercy, I love that woman~!" Jinn beamed as he happily followed behind Kasumi.
Soun and Genma both contently shrugged and carried on with their previous business.
MEANWHILE, IN TOMA'S QUARTERS…
The young prince and Ukyo were having a nice little chat while enjoying a lovely cup of tea.
"Say, who's that in the painting, Toma?" the chef observed.
"Oh, that's my mother." Toma answered. "My late mother. She died shortly after I was born, you see."
"I-I'm sorry to hear that…" replied Ukyo. "My mother died of cancer when I was 5."
"You lost your mother as well?" Toma queried.
"Yeah," nodded Ukyo. "But…I'm not lonely, that's for sure. I have my okonomiyaki business, and my dad, and my friends from Nerima…"
"Oh, I'm not lonely either," replied Toma. "I have Sarutoru and Torristan to look out for me, and Wanton? Sure, he used to be a normal dog, but the Togenkyo water has at least given him a new outlook on life!"
Hmm, so that's why he acts how he does, Ukyo thought to herself. There's one question answered…and so many left.
"But I also wanted to ask, why did you need to kidnap all those other girls?" the chef asked aloud.
"About that..the island's magical spring turns anything it touches into a man." Toma explained. "And because of that, the women here can only give birth to male babies. It's been that way since ancient times."
Ukyo raised an eyebrow, intrigued. Water that turns you into a man? I bet Ranma would love to know about this…
Approaching a wooden podium, Toma reached into his sash and pulled out a small, purple coin, which he placed atop the podium. Suddenly, at the podium's side, there opened a pair of twin doors from the floor.
As Ukyo and Toma looked out at the new view, both could see it was a very deep cavern, which seemed to be utterly endless…except, of course, for the shimmering cerulean pool at the very, very bottom of the cavern. From the way it gleamed, one would almost think it cast its own light.
"Wow!" was all she could say at the sight of it.
"This spring is Togenkyo's curse. Because of it, we must find our women elsewhere." the young man said with a solemn look on his face.
"So that's the reason…" Ukyo commented.
"But even so, it is sacred, and protects our island," Toma continued as he gently clutched Uyko's shoulders. "Ukyo, this must forever remain our secret."
The brunette got an apprehensive look on her face.
"You will stay with me, won't you, Ukyo?" asked Toma.
"I'm sorry, Toma…but I can't," replied Ukyo. "I have a fiancé."
"A fiancé?" Toma asked. "Do you love this man?"
"At first, I wasn't sure," replied Ukyo. "But after spending so much time with him, I know for sure that I do."
"Well, I'm sure that I'm ten times the man that he is! What does he have that I do not have more of?" the young prince asked, flabbergasted at the thought of a mere commoner outclassing him.
"For starters, he's within my age group." the chef flatly stated.
"Oh…admittedly, that is a fair point." Toma said with a bit of a blush. "But you'll find that I am quite mature for my age."
"So you claim…and yet, you were willing to let all those women fight for the 'honor' of marrying someone at least half their ages," Ukyo replied.
"Now see here! I—" Toma's protest was cut off by the sounds of an alarm blaring. Quickly as he could, he marched over to a nearby communications tube and opened one end up. "WHAT IS IT?!" he shouted.
"The prisoners have escaped, milord," said a guard. "Wanton is out cold, and Sarutoru has been beaten."
"Then recapture them, you idiot!" Toma spat. "Must I hold your hand?! Not a single one of them can be allowed to escape!"
"Y-yes, sir. Right away." the guard said before hanging up.
The young prince let out an exasperated sigh. "Honestly, it's so hard to find competent guards in this day and age. Ukyo, stay right here. I shall return shortly!" he declared, pulling the lever back and closing the trap door before teleporting out of the room.
Ukyo glanced on at the spot where the prince had formerly stood, and then back at the portrait of him with his mother.
MEANWHILE, IN ANOTHER CHAMBER…
Shampoo was stuck with Torristan, and she was certainly not receptive to his advances. "I told you, I don't want ANYTHING to do with you, Phanto-face!" she snapped.
"I see…if that's your final answer, then you leave me with no choice," declared Torristan as he advanced towards the purple-haired girl.
"So that's it, then? You're gonna take me by force, is that it?" Shampoo asked as she backed off. "It's only fair to warn you: don't underestimate an Amazon woman!"
"Amazon woman, eh?" If Torristan's mask had eyebrows, they would be rising right then. "Don't try to threaten me with a good time…I like my women feisty."
"Then you're squat outta luck!" Shampoo retorted. "I've already GOT a man! Someone who was skilled enough to defeat me!"
And at that moment, the doors flew open, making Shampoo turn her head towards the silhouetted figure standing before her eyes. "SHAMPOO!"
…of course, her mood visibly deflated upon seeing that her would-be rescuer was Mousse.
"Well, looks as though your man has come to rescue you," commented Torristan.
Shampoo visibly blanched at that remark. "NO! THAT IS NOT HIM!" she insisted. "HE IS NOT MY MAN!"
Mousse visibly adjusted his glasses. "Once more, I've hit the jackpot," he declared. "And now, I'm gonna make you pay for taking my—"
SPLAT!
He was immediately cut off by the sudden arrival of Kenma, atop the Nimbus Cloud, fully decked-out in Son Goku regalia (with bits of Sun Wukong scattered in as well).
"So you're the creep who took Shampoo, huh?" he asked, readying his nunchucks [a gift from his mum, if you must remember].
"...that is my man," clarified Shampoo, her deflated mood becoming reinvigorated with Kenma's arrival.
"You've come for a challenge, have you?" asked Torristan.
"I've come to save Shampoo!" Kenma exclaimed.
"Then you'll have to face me first, boy!" Torristan replied as he hopped skyward, up to a series of protruding wooden platforms.
Kenma huffed through his nose. "Gladly," he replied, as he twisted his tail into a coil, then used it to bounce himself—SPRO-O-O-ING!—up to the platforms, landing on one.
"Just so you know, I don't intend on holding back." the masked man stated.
"That's just fine, because I wasn't going to either!" Kenma grinned.
Torristan took to the ceiling, then opened his cloak and unleashed a rain of razor-sharp feathers!
Acting quickly, Kenma raised his nunchucks and spun them as fast as he could; once the barrage ceased, he saw that Torristan had left his spot on the ceiling.
What's wrong, can't find me?
Kenma yelped as he turned and used his 'chuks to block an oncoming sword attack, courtesy of the masked man.
"Don't worry, I've found you!" Torristan smirked as he brought his blade closer. "You know, you're awfully quick on the draw."
"And DO-O-O-ON'T you for-get it!" Kenma replied in an imitation of Daws Butler [look him up, folks; he was great]. Eventually, both combatants leapt to opposite sides of the upper room.
Shampoo was cheering on Kenma from ground level. "Yeah, Kenma. Give 'em what for!" She also said a few things in her native tongue.
"I see I'll have to put a bit more elbow grease to defeat you…fine by me," Torristan replied as he jumped into the air and flung open his cloak like a pair of wings. "Take this: FEATHER FRENZY!"
As a flurry of feathers spewed forth, Kenma could hardly keep his focus—which allowed Torristan to entrap him with a well-placed rope.
"Uh-oh…I think I'm in trouble!" he commented.
"Hahaha! So, do you admit defeat?" asked Torristan as he approached his subdued opponent.
"In your dreams!" Kenma replied with a smirk. "TRANSFORMATION~!"
BOM!
In a puff of smoke, Kenma seemed to vanish, and the ropes he'd been bound with dropped limply around the platform.
"What the—" Torristan blurted, looking around in confusion. "Where the hell did he go?!"
Unknown to Torristan, Kenma had shapeshifted into a fly and was buzzing around to assess the situation—namely, by finding the right spot to attack from!
Torristan could've almost sworn he heard a tiny, high-pitched buzzing sound, but he didn't get a chance to register it before—
WHAMMO!
Kenma dealt him an uppercut that knocked his mask right off his face! "Still feelin' frisky?" he asked.
His response came in the form of a drawn-out sound. "SQUAAAAWK…!"
As Torristan lowered his face, it was now clear to everyone who was watching—yes, including Mousse—that Torristan was a mohawked man wearing what looked like a beak over his mouth.
"I don't know how you did that…BUT YOU'RE GOING TO BE SORRY YOU MADE ME MAD!" he scowled in a squawking, birdlike voice with a cockney accent.
But as he looked up, he now saw that neither Kenma or Shampoo looked intimidated; in fact, they looked more like they were ready to bust a gut laughing!
Shampoo was the first to crack up. "He's not so scary without that mask anymore!" she chortled.
"What's the matter, does Polly want a cracker?" Kenma managed to say amidst his bout of laughter.
Torristan fumed as his head turned red-hot with fury. "MAKE YOUR STUPID JOKES ALL YOU LIKE, BECAUSE NEITHER OF YOU ARE LEAVING!" he squawked as he drew forth more of his feather blades. "PREPARE TO DIE, AMAZON WOMAN!"
With a flick of his wrist, he tossed them out at Shampoo, pinning her against the wall.
"Oh, man; I think he might be mad…" Kenma observed, before feather blades struck several points of his body as well.
"What's the matter, monkey boy? Lost all that vim n' vigor?" sneered Torristan as he approached. "Those feather blades are like acupuncture needles, and I applied them to several of your nerve centers! So, how about it, woman? If you agree to marry me, I'll gladly spare you!"
Shampoo stuck out her tongue. "I'd rather die, you overgrown cockatoo," she retorted.
Torristan shrugged. "Then by all means—I shall grant your wish," he remarked as he drew out some more feather blades.
"No…no s-stinkin'...way…"
To Torristan's surprise, Kenma was actually still moving—forcing himself through sheer willpower to advance forward!
"You…will NOT…harm her…!" he grunted as he dragged himself further.
"H-how can you even move?!" squawked Torristan. "You should be paralyzed! STAY DOWN, YOU STUBBORN TWIT! JUST STAY DOWN AND DIE!"
As the beak-faced man kept on throwing more and more feather blades, Kenma just continued trudging forward, powered by sheer force of will.
"I…made…a promise…that I…would save her…"
"WHY WON'T YOU JUST DIE ALREADY?! DON'T YOU KNOW WHEN TO QUIT?!"
"N-nah…guess I get that…from my big brother…" Kenma chuckled weakly. "...he's pretty damn…persistent…too…"
Even as his vision was weaving in and out of blurriness, he still kept on coming forward.
"What's the matter with you? Aren't you human?! Don't you feel pain?!" squawked Torristan.
"And now…it's time…" Kenma said, inhaling deeply, and flexing himself so as to dispel the feather blades from his body. "...TO CLIP YOUR WINGS!"
"NO, NO, NO, NOOOOO—!" squawked Torristan as a heavy right hook sent him crashing into the opposite wall.
Kenma laughed; it was a weak laugh, but it quickly became strong and proud. "Sweet dreams, featherbrain," he declared, raising his right hand up in a V for victory sign.
He wobbled a bit, and fell off the platform.
"KENMA!" Shampoo exclaimed, turning her head away so she wouldn't see him hit the ground…but he never made impact. Confused, Shampoo opened her eyes and saw that to her surprise, Mousse was going over to her with Kenma's body in his arms.
But this time, the look on his face was different; it was one of resignation, not the usual look of frenzied determination or love-sickness that were so commonly seen on Mousse's face.
"I suppose I should've realized it sooner…" he said with a sad smile. "I guess I was trying to cling to the remnants of a childhood fantasy—and one that would never be, at that."
As Shampoo watched in curiosity, Mousse raised a glowing pinky finger and jabbed it on the side of Kenma's neck; within seconds, the boy's eyes shot open and he sprang to his feet, his body engulfed in an ethereal glow.
"...what?" he asked, surprised. "I—I'm energized? But…why, Mousse?"
"You need it more than I do…" replied the bespectacled boy, who was now looking utterly exhausted.
"All this time, I was convinced that I was meant to be Shampoo's beloved, and that no other suitor could stand against me…how old was I when we first met—two? Three, maybe? Anyways, I would always try to win Shampoo over through gestures and declarations of worship…but none of them would succeed. And then I learned about you—the monkey boy from Japan. It made me livid, just thinking about it! I, someone who had known Shampoo for years, hadn't even been considered anything other than a nuisance, but she had declared her love for some lowly outsider?! It drove me wild with jealousy, and I tried to piece together: what does he have that I lack? Why is Shampoo so taken with him?! I noticed it again during the 'Contrary Jewel' incident…even when Shampoo would beat you bloody and hurl insult after insult at you, this did nothing to halt you. If anything, it only strengthened your resolve to win her love back! Today's experiences have enlightened me greatly—one cannot force someone to love them, it must be equally distributed on both sides. Besides…I think I may have been more in love with the idea of Shampoo, while Kenma actually put in the effort and got to know you as a person. To think…I've thrown away so much time in trying to win Shampoo over…I'll bet my mother's still waiting to hear from me again…"
Kenma and Shampoo watched as Mousse's knees buckled, and he collapsed to his knees.
"Take care of her, Kenma Saotome; and hang in there…'' said the bespectacled boy. "You...are...Number One..."
And with that, he passed out. His energy restored, Kenma picked up Shampoo on his left shoulder, and hoisted Mousse over his right shoulder.
"You and Mousse go find Nabiki, and tell her something came up," he instructed. "She should be down this hallway."
"And what will you do?" asked Shampoo.
"What else?" Kenma smiled. "I'm gonna go help my big bro."
Shampoo nodded as she grabbed Mousse, hoisted him over her shoulder, and climbed down. But before leaving the room, she gave Kenma a big kiss.
"Just for luck," she replied. "When you come back for me and Nabiki, you'll get the rest~!"
Kenma's face turned bright-red as steam shot from his ears, and as Shampoo took off, Kenma headed out as well, determination surging in his soul.
Hang in there, Ranma, he thought. If we're gonna finish this, we'll do it together!
To Be Concluded Next Chapter
Finally, this chapter has been completed, and on the eve before my 22nd birthday, no less! Such a ride it's been, folks, and now we're at the climax of Movie 2. Here's to hoping we post the last chapter before Summer ends.
Next time, "Nihao My Concubine" ends!
...and then we take a two-week break.
See you there!