Monachopsis: A subtle yet persistent feeling of being out of place
Irene awoke early the next morning. Her anger at Erik had quickly sent her to sleep, the sheer emotion tiring her out. But it didn't seem to have lasted, as she was now wide awake at the ass crack of dawn.
She sat up, sick of trying to return to her peaceful slumber. She decided to make her way to the kitchen, dead set on finding something edible to eat this time.
When she stepped through the door into the common area she was met with absolute devastation. The night before the room had been relatively tidy, but now the couches were upturned and stained with food and drink, there was glass by the window from where it had been smashed and the ceiling fan seemed to have footprints on it. She sighed fondly, remembering her days of trashing things as a teen, before returning her attention to the matter at hand. Food.
After completing her search of all the cupboards, the best thing she had found was a box of opened cereal and half a bottle of skimmed milk. But it would have to do. She grabbed one of the chipped bowls from the side and filled it up with her rather insubstantial meal.
She moved over to the ruined sofa, trying to avoid sitting on the stains as she began to chew through the slightly stale cereal topped with slightly sour milk. And then, much to her surprise, the door opened. The emotion she at first sensed was a feeling of calm, and then as soon as her gaze locked onto the newcomer, she was faced with intense shame.
"Hank! I thought I was the only one up." She smiled at him, and all he could do was grimace.
"Nice to see you Irene."
Irene hummed, "I heard you guys had a bit of a late night last night?" She asked, her voice seemingly innocent, but Hank recognised the accusatory hint behind it.
"Uh, yeah. Sorry about that." He stared down at his floor, and Irene, naturally following his gaze, found herself looking at a very strange pair of feet.
"Woah." She said, tilting her head to look closer. They looked like hands. Hank snapped his eyes up to her, seeming embarrassed.
"Wait, I didn't think you had a mutation?" She hadn't remembered him saying anything about it the night before. She had just assumed he was some kind of scientist or engineer. Hank seemed confused by her response.
"Uh, yeah I guess I forgot to mention it. It's not super interesting though, huh?"
Irene recognised the emotions that radiated towards her. A strange mixture of self-hatred, frustration and embarrassment.
"I know how you feel." She laughed bitterly, "My mutation's pretty useless."
He tilted his head at her, "What's yours?"
"I can change people's emotions. And sense them. Like, I could make you start crying, right now. Or laughing. Or anything. Not super useful for much of anything, other than party tricks."
Hank looked at her, lost. "That's an amazing mutation. I mean, imagine fighting someone, and at the drop of a hat you can have them bawling. It sounds pretty great to me."
She smiled at him, appreciating the younger man's words even if she didn't quite believe them herself, "Thanks Hank. I think your mutation's pretty great too."
"Yeah, I know I shouldn't be ungrateful, but it's hard to look at people like Charles and Raven who have such useful mutations. Even Erik's is amazing." Irene picked up on his disapproving tone.
"Not a fan of Erik, huh?" She asked, a wry smile crossing her lips.
"I don't exactly agree with all of his opinions about things."
"I can understand that. We don't exactly see eye to eye on things either." Her face hardened, remembering the argument they had had the night previous, and the way he had seemed to blame her for all that was wrong in the world. Entitled asshole.
And as if he had been summoned by that very thought, in walked Erik Lehnsherr. Irene immediately stood up, and walked over to the sink to wash her bowl up.
"Morning Hank. Irene." He nodded at the woman as she moved past him to reach the kitchenette.
"Erik." She replied, her voice cold. She didn't look up from her position by the sink.
"Uh, I'll see you guys later." Hank had clearly sensed the palpable tension in the room and had chosen to make his escape. Irene couldn't exactly blame him.
"See ya." She said softly, raising a hand to wave him goodbye.
The two remaining people in the common area remained silent, neither one of them wanting to speak first. Irene didn't want to speak at all, her blood still hot with anger from the night before. And so, Erik was forced to break the silence.
"We discovered some information last night about the man we're tracking, Shaw. He's in Russia. Charles wanted to know if you'd be interested in coming with us."
Irene stayed silent for a moment. Was this his version of a peace offering? What happened to her being childish and useless? Whatever he was trying to do, she didn't trust it.
"I'm ok thanks," She turned to face the brunette, "After all, I'm not sure I'd be so great on a mission like that. I've been told I'm a bit of a liability?"
Erik flinched, opening his mouth to say something, before thinking better of it.
"Ok."
She rolled her eyes at him. She shouldn't have expected he'd give in and apologise so quickly.
"Bye Erik." She stalked out of the room, eyes burning with anger at the seemingly emotionless man.
He stared after her as she left. He honestly hadn't known what he'd thought would happen when he waltzed in here and invited her on the mission. His thought processes had been somewhat muddled as of late. Their argument the night before was a prime example.
He hadn't really thought it was all her fault. Of course not. But he'd just had this blistering rage inside of him, and she seemed to be the perfect target. He was really upset with Charles that night, fed up with his incessant naivete.
The man refused to acknowledge that these mutants he'd recruited were only children, none of them ever having experienced a war like he had. Truthfully, not even Charles had experienced it. Maybe that's why he was so unfailingly optimistic, even when it worked to his detriment.
And so, as soon as he'd seen the shattered window and sliced statue, he knew he needed to do something. So, like an impulsive idiot, he'd gone to someone he was already upset with, and blamed her for something she had nothing to do with.
He clenched his fists, remembering what he'd said to her the night before. Childish. Irresponsible. Sure, parts of it had been true. At least he'd thought they were. However the frustration at the way she used her mutation on him bubbling under the surface certainly hadn't helped with his judgement.
But maybe she hadn't realised. A part of him prodded, but he pushed it aside. Of course she knew what she was doing, she wasn't a toddler. She sure as hell acted like one though.
Erik sighed, filling his mug up with slightly tepid coffee. He couldn't afford the distraction of worrying whether he'd upset some random woman. Today he was flying to Russia to find Shaw. And when he found him, he was going to kill him.
Irene had returned to her room immediately after her altercation with Erik, quickly stripping her clothes off and jumping the shower again, taking comfort in the cascading water to rid her of her troubles, at least for a little while.
She had only just finished, brushing her damp wavy hair, when she felt a sudden pressure in her skull. She reached her hand up to her forehead, trying to work out what had caused the sudden pain.
"I apologise for the sudden intrusion, I only wished to talk to you."
"Charles?" She thought, earning a chuckle in response.
"Yes," He said, "Am I interrupting you?"
"No, not at all," She found herself shaking her head even though she knew he couldn't see her, "I'm just finding it slightly disconcerting talking to a voice in my head."
"Ah, I understand. It takes time to get used to. I have something I need to discuss with you, meet me in Moira's office in a moment?"
"Uh, ok. No problem."
And then the pressure was gone, and her mind was her own again. Irene sighed in relief, not liking the feeling of someone else prodding around inside her head. She had enough trouble keeping the voices in her own mind silent, let alone someone else's.
She shrugged off the strange feeling the conversation had left her with and placed her hairbrush back down on her bed before making her way out of her room and back into the rabbit warren of concrete.
Irene realised when she was about 5 minutes later that she actually had no idea where Moira's office was, whatsoever. So far she had been guessing, but now she was genuinely lost.
She had reached a sort of fork in the path, three paths leading to different paths of the complex. She knew how to get back where she had come from, so that was a bonus, but she had no idea how to get to where she needed to go.
Irene shut her eyes, sighing deeply as she realised what she had to do. She was going to have to use her damned mutation. Another perk of being able to sense and change emotions, she could sense people over decent distances thanks to the unique emotional 'signatures' they maintained.
She kept her eyes shut, reaching out with her mutations like they were long tendrils infiltrating every corner of the building. And she searched. She quickly found Hank, he was in some sort of hangar down and to the left of her, and he was not too far away. She switched off that area of her powers and searched in the other direction, back towards the common area and the other mutants. Darwin, Sean and Raven were all in the common area, and Angel and Alex were both in their rooms. She continued through the corridors, moving down until she sensed a powerful presence there. Charles.
Irene reopened her eyes, feeling the metaphorical tendrils snap back to her as soon as she did so. She couldn't believe she'd been going the wrong direction this entire time. She sighed and doubled back on herself, wiping the bead of sweat that ran down her brow. Her system of 'radar', whilst the most useful part of her mutation, was also the most taxing, and she could only keep it up for around 30 seconds before she felt like she was going to collapse.
Eventually she found her way to Moira's office, knocking on the door and stepping inside as Moira came over to let her in.
"Irene! We were getting a bit worried." Charles looked at his watch pointedly.
"Yeah, sorry about that. I got a bit lost on the way. So what is it you need to talk to me about?"
It was Moira who answered her question.
"As I believe you already know, we've located Shaw, he was in Russia last night and we have every reason to believe he's still there."
"We'd like to ask you to come with us. To get Shaw." Charles cut across her, seeming impatient.
Irene just looked at him, confused.
"Didn't Erik tell you I said no?" Her voice wasn't harsh, merely lost.
"Yes, he did, but I wanted to make sure that personal… dislikes, hadn't influenced that decision. You'd be a real asset to us."
Irene raised her eyebrows at the telepath..
"No need to worry Charles, it's nothing personal. And while I appreciate the sentiment of inviting me along, I'd rather not go if that's alright."
Charles frowned slightly, and Irene continued, "Besides, whilst I hate to admit it, Erik's right that someone needs to stay here and supervise the kids."
"Ok, I understand," He replied, finally letting up. He sounded slightly disappointed, but not entirely surprised. "But if you change my mind, let me know."
Irene nodded, smiling at the pair.
"Bring Shaw's head back on a spike."
Several hours later, the young mutants gathered together to bid goodbye to Charles and Erik. More so Charles. Raven was understandably quite upset, and Irene could sense the girl's worry for her brother, as well as frustration that she seemed to have been cut out of this mission entirely.
Charles had thought her much too young before, and her stunt last night hadn't exactly earned her his trust. So she was stuck here for the next few days until they returned.
Irene bid goodbye to Charles as well, patting the young man on the shoulder, "You're sure you don't want to come with us?"
She rolled her eyes, "I'm sure Charles. Now run along. Shaw's waiting for you guys." She grinned at him, giving a small wave of her hand for him to say goodbye to the next person.
Thankfully, he relented, and Irene was left to hug Moira. The younger woman gave her a bright grin, happy that she was able to see her old friend again. She had been worried about her when she suddenly went no contact after the incident. It seemed she had been worried for nothing.
Moira was also glad, for Charles' sake, that they were leaving the younger mutants in Irene's capable hands.
The pair of women broke apart, and Irene was once again faced with the root of all her problems, Erik Lehnsherr.
She opened her mouth to speak, but he beat her to it.
"We'll need to talk. When I get back."
"Will we?" She raised her brows at him.
"Yes. I'll see you in a few days." He raised his hand for her to shake, and she eyed it as though his touch might sting. But she obliged anyway, meeting his ice blue eyes as she accepted what was probably the closest she'd get to a peace offering.
And then, before she knew it, he was following Moira and Charles into the car, not even bothering to spare a glance back at the facility.
The rest of her day passed without incident, and most of it was spent watching the young mutants clean up the mess they'd made the night before.
When Erik had told her they'd sliced a statue in half she hadn't really believed him, but it turned out he hadn't been exaggerating. She hadn't seen it this morning because the curtains were shut, but outside a bronze statue of a man had been cut clean in two, his top half resting on the ground beside him.
Irene eventually ascertained it was Alex who had wrecked the statue, or, as Raven had taken to calling him, Havoc. She supposed the name did make some sense. Raven also appeared to have given everyone else nicknames too, her favourite of which was the one she'd given Charles. Professor X. It sounded so old fashioned and official, that she couldn't help but find it hilarious.
Well, she'd found it hilarious until, halfway through sweeping up a pile of broken glass, Raven had decided to give Irene her own nickname. She hadn't been able to come up with one the night before because Irene hadn't yet disclosed her mutation, but now that she'd told Hank about it, the information had been helpfully passed along to Charles' younger sister.
And now she was brainstorming a whole host of ideas.
"Emotion!"
"Raven, that's a random word."
"That's true. Um… Oh! How about Agent something!"
"I'm hoping you're going to get rid of the 'something'?"
"Well obviously." The girl rolled her eyes, looking back down at her dustpan and brush before snapping her head back up. "I've got it! Agent Happy!"
Irene looked over to her, her face deadpan.
"Raven I swear to God if you name me Agent Happy I will strangle you in your sleep."
Raven laughed at her angry face, "Ok, maybe not. Wait. How about, Blank!"
"Blank? What kind of a name is Blank?"
"Well, you change people's emotions, so they're like a blank canvas for you to use your powers."
Irene just stared at the girl, not even able to express how horrendous the name was.
"It's really bad isn't it?" Raven asked.
"It's awful." Irene laughed,
Raven sighed, "It was so easy to come up with everyone else's. Your powers are just so… difficult to describe."
"Tell me about it," She smiled at the younger girl as she got back to work tidying the room.
Almost 10 hours after they had set off from the facility, the plane landed in the heart of Russia, deep behind enemy lines. They group was unloaded off the plane, Moira surging forwards to greet the officer who'd be escorting them, shaking his hand and thanking him for the help.
The two mutants hung back, both still slightly groggy after the inevitable nap they'd had on the plane. However, there wasn't much time for them to dwell, as they were soon being pushed forward into a large truck, the trio clambering into the back along with a small group of soldiers.
Erik sat opposite Charles and Moira, the older man watching the way the telepath seemed to naturally relax whenever the redheaded woman was near him. His first thought was one of fondness towards the pair, until his thoughts were overrun with Shaw. He didn't think the way Charles did. To him other people only created vulnerability, rather than fostering strength. He just hoped that Charles didn't end up regretting caring so deeply about others.
They were on the road for roughly half an hour, half an hour spent being jostled about by endless potholes. No wonder the Russians weren't known for their tarmacking. Finally, the van seemed to slow to a stop, and Erik froze upon hearing voices speaking to the driver upfront. He could make out the driver responding in perfect Russian, but before he could relax again, there were footsteps making their way towards the door to the back of the truck.
He raised his hands, from the fists at his sides, preparing to crush the Russians helmets into their skulls, when Charles' voice sounded in his head.
Be silent.
The younger man placed two fingers on his temple, and closed his eyes. Erik was still racked with anxiety, but chose to trust his friend rather than his instincts for once.
The soldiers yanked open the doors, and everyone inside held their breath at once. But it was like the Russians couldn't see them. They glanced inside for a moment, before shrugging and closing the doors up yet again. As soon as they were safe again, Charles slumped back, fingers dropping from the side of his head as he did so. He must have gotten inside their heads so they couldn't see them.
Moira patted the man on the shoulder, whispering to him gratefully. Charles nodded at her, smiling feebly, before sitting up straight again.
It was only a few minutes after they had passed the checkpoint that the van slid to a stop, the soldiers jumping out and setting some sort of perimeter.
"We'll be going up this way," Moira explained, pointing towards a grand white house, "That's where Shaw is. The soldiers will be positioned so they can provide back up if absolutely necessary."
The two mutants nodded, and Erik moved to follow the CIA agent down a small trail, but before he could Charles grabbed his arm.
"What?" He asked, Erik's tone was impatient.
"Remember, this is about questioning Shaw. Not about killing him." Charles said, his voice firm.
"That's what it's about to you, Charles. But I'm afraid we don't always have the same objectives." He tore his arm away and continued up the path.
"That's what I'm becoming afraid of," The telepath murmured, before following his ally.
After a short trek, the trio ended up at a sort of vantage point, all of them ducking down to avoid detection. They grabbed binoculars from their bag, and began to watch for signs of Shaw. And, as though it had been waiting for their arrival, a helicopter swooped down. The group all stared as it landed, Erik waiting to see the figure of Shaw descend the steps. But, instead, out came a blonde woman dressed entirely in white fur.
He lowered his binoculars, his face contorting in confusion.
"Where's Shaw?" He said, slightly indignant.
"I know her," Charles piped up, "She's the telepath, if I read her she'll know we're here. Let me try something else."
The man closed his eyes and went silent for a moment, before opening them and shaking his head.
"He's not coming. So what now boss?" He turned to Moira.
"So now nothing. We're here for Shaw. Mission aborted." She replied.
Erik felt a flash of anger, "The hell it is. She's his right hand woman, that's good enough for me."
"The CIA invading the home of a senior Soviet official, are you crazy?" She looked aghast.
He just smirked.
"I'm not CIA."
He got up and began to run away, ignoring the calls of his name from Charles. He quickly made his way back down the trail, veering off to avoid the swarms of American soldiers. He kept running until he had looped back around the other side of the estate, and he could just make out Moira and Charles on the other side.
Erik held up a hand, taking control of the coils of barbed wire and using them to attack the soldiers stationed around the gate. They screamed as they felt themselves become magically trapped in the barbs. He then emerged from the undergrowth, racing down the path towards the large house.
The two guards who were stationed at the entrance began to move forwards, but Erik just scoffed, using his powers to drag the guns their grasp, pulling them along the ground too. He ran past them, throwing open the large oak doors of the grand house.
He slowed his pace to a brisk walk, treading quickly but carefully as to not be discovered by the female telepath. He quickly reached the end of the corridor, and was just about to push open the door when he heard footsteps behind him. Erik whipped around sharply, before breathing a sigh of relief when he realised it was only Charles.
"Took you long enough. Come on." He wasted no further time in swinging open the doors. As he surveyed the room, he recoiled slightly, his eyes immediately landing on the soviet official at the far end.
He was kneeling on the bed, facing away from them, and appeared to be groping and humping the air as if he thought it was a woman. Erik turned his gaze to the other person in the room, the blond telepath, who was sitting leisurely on the couch eating a box of crackers.
Charles was quick to put the Russian man to sleep, and so the pair firmly kept the concentration on the scantily clad woman. Erik tightened his fists slightly when she stood up, and, to his shock, her skin began to harden and crystalise, until her entire body was like a glimmering diamond.
"You can stop trying to read me, honey. You're never going to get anything out of me when I'm like this." She said, and Charles huffed in frustration.
"So you can just tell us then," Erik responded darkly, "Where's Shaw?"
She didn't reply, instead she began to eye the exit. Luckily, Charles and Erik caught her before she could escape, throwing her back against the bed frame. Erik quickly manipulated the metal to create bindings to keep her in place. He felt immense anger rushing through his veins, and he weaved a piece of metal over her throat. And began to squeeze.
He conjured up all the memories he possibly could of the torture he endured at the hands of Shaw, concentrating all the pain into his mutation. Soon, Emma's glittering skin began to crack slightly, but still Erik did not relent. He wanted her to experience at least a slither of the pain he had.
Charles' voice was what called him out of his rage-filled stupor, and he released his hold over her throat, watching as her skin returned to normal.
"All yours, Charles. She won't be shifting into diamond form again." Erik turned away from them both as his associate got to work, choosing to help himself to a drink from the bar. He only turned back around when he heard the gasp that came from Charles.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" Emma said, somehow maintaining her cocky attitude even in this situation.
Charles shook his head, "This is worse than we previously imagined. We're taking you with us, the CIA will want to question you themselves."
"Oh I doubt that. Right now they have bigger things to worry about."
They fell silent for a moment, pondering what she could have meant. And then it was like a bolt of lightning hit both mutants at once. Erik set down his drink on the side as Charles turned to him in horror.
The others.
After several hours of constant cleaning, the young band of mutants had returned the common area to its former glory, and together they all slumped down on the new sofas that Charles had paid for out of his own pocket.
Despite their exhaustion, there was still the typical buzz of chatter in the group, and Raven appeared to have gotten over the disappointment of being cut out of the mission by her brother.
That was until the sudden vibration that went throughout the compound.
The group all stopped for a minute, turning to one another to confirm that they had all heard the same thing. And then, the sound came again, this time shaking the building slightly.
It wasn't an earthquake, Irene knew that for sure having experienced multiple in her lifetime. No, it was more like the aftermath of an explosion.
Irene slowly got up off of the sofa, holding up a hand to silence the whispers of the mutants. She began to make her way towards the curtains, meanwhile she reached out with her mutation, feeling for any new emotional signatures she didn't recognise.
She reached out to press the button that retracted the curtains, and just as she did so, the body of an agent thudded against the concrete outside the window, almost as if he'd been dropped from a great height.
Irene heard a whimper from behind her as one of the teens caught sight of the dead body, and she felt her adrenaline kick in, a feeling she hadn't felt in a long time.
She turned back to the kids inside the room, waving her arms to begin to usher them out as quickly as possible, but before they could move, another body dropped from the sky. And another, and another. Soon agents swarmed into the courtyard, and a red man appeared in the centre. He looked like the devil as he attacked the agents with a set of twin blades, teleporting back and forth between them and slashing at them with his spiked tail.
The agents tried shooting at him but he was too fast, darting between them and dodging their bullets. It looked like leaving the room was out of the question.
Just as Irene was evaluating her options, the glass of the window shattered, and she quickly leapt towards cover. Luckily, Darwin stepped in front of them just in time, protecting them from the glass by transforming his back into a rocky shield.
She coughed as the dust settled in the room, and she noticed the new arrivals. A middle aged man in the centre wearing a helmet, the red man and another bulkier looking man flanking him. Irene quickly recognised the man in the centre as Sebastian Shaw. He stepped forward, scrutinising the group before slipping the helmet from his head
"I am Sebastian Shaw, and I am not here to hurt you."
Irene felt the emotions of the group behind her wash over her like a tsunami. Intense fear filled all of them as they looked at the intruders.
"There's a revolution coming," He continued making his way closer towards them, "When mankind discovers what we are, what we can do, each of us will face a choice. Be enslaved or rise up to rule. Choose freely, but know that if you are not with us, then by definition you are… against us."
He looked around at the group before him, "So, you can stay here, and fight for people who hate and fear you, or, you can join me and live like kings." His eyes fell on Angel for a moment before he amended his statement, "And queens." He grinned at her, and the young woman averted her eyes from his lecherous gaze.
He paused for a moment to allow them to consider their choice.
"So what will it be?" He finished, holding out a hand.
They all stared at him for a moment, none of them wanting to join him. Or so they thought, until Angel took his hand and stepped forwards.
"Angel?" Raven said, her voice hurt and confused.
"Come on, we don't belong here, and that is nothing to be ashamed of." She said, her voice slightly shaky, but still resolute. They all stared in disbelief. Darwin held out his own hand for her to take, but she instead turned away and began to walk away with Shaw.
Irene knew she couldn't let her just leave. A half-baked plan had begun forming in her mind, but it would be good enough for now. She tapped Darwin on the shoulder.
"Follow my lead." She whispered. He nodded, wary, but choosing to trust her anyway.
"Hold up!" She said, and Shaw turned to look at her, "We're coming with you." She pointed at herself and Darwin.
Luckily for Irene, Darwin had the sense to play along for now, cleverly masking his shocked expression.
"Good choice. Now tell me about your mutations."
"Well I adapt to survive, so I guess I'm coming with you." Darwin said easily.
"I like that," He turned to Irene, fixing her an arrogant stare and taking her hand, "And you, my dear?"
She grinned, the bastard had fallen right into her trap, "Oh, I think it'd be better for me to show you."
Her eyes turned black, and her face lit up with shocking white veins as she channelled all the fear and turmoil from herself and her comrades and forced it into Shaw. She watched as his face shifted, but just when he should have let out a blood-curdling scream, he began to grin manically.
He collected her power into a tiny ball, revelling in the look of confusion and panic that covered her face.
"You're a tricky one aren't you dear? But I have to say, protecting your fellow mutants is a noble gesture. I admire you for that."
He split the ball apart, containing one on each fingertip.
"Why don't the two of you adapt to this, huh?" He then pressed a finger to each of their foreheads, and the pair began to scream.
The last thing Irene saw before she blacked out was Darwin writhing in pain before disintegrating into dust.