"But Sybil was going to die?" Robert said defeated. He could hear Cora's shallow breathing. The way she had said. 'But, there was a chance." Almost broke him. Not knowing what he was hoping for, he kept looking at Dr. Clarkson. Sybil was dead and Cora was blaming him for her death. And he could understand that.
"When everything is weighed in the balance, I believe that Lady Sybil was going to die." Dr. Clarkson paused.
Cora was fighting to hold her tears back. She felt her nose getting wet. She saw Robert's shoulders bent forward, he was standing in front of her, his back turned towards her. Until now she was blaming him for Sybil's death. He had not listened to Dr. Clarkson but followed that Harley Street doctor. She heard Dr. Clarkson say:
"And now I will take my leave." Dr. Clarkson nodded towards, Violet, Robert and Cora.
The moment he closed the door, Cora let out a sob. She could not hold it in and she did not care she was crying in front of her mother-in-law. She had lost her beauty and her baby. Losing a child, was not something she was expecting to live through. The loss of their baby boy before it could take its first breath had been a tough time. But losing their darling girl was something she could not live with. How was she going to face another day?
Robert turned around towards Cora. He saw her frail figure. Her eyes and the tip of her nose were red from her held-back tears. He saw her braking, the moment Dr. Clarkson stepped outside. She had rejected him since Sybil died. She blamed him for everything, and he could not blame her for doing that. But he could not watch her broken figure. A soft sob left her mouth.
Cautiously he stepped closer, her head was down. He wrapped his arms around her. At first, she did not react, besides lifting her chin. The moment their body's touched he felt a sob coming from his own mouth. Then her arms rose and wrapped around him. He pulled her even closer, while he felt her arms move over his back. Her face pressed into his neck. She was not holding back, and her body jolted from her sobs.
Violet turned around as soon as she saw Robert stepping towards Cora. Once she realised the sobbing did not stop, she quietly left the room. They were finally grieving together. It was time and the only way to healing. She was relieved Dr. Clarkson wanted to help her. Although he blamed Sir Philip Tapsell, he was willing to say the things he had just said.
Cora buried her face in Robert's neck. She could not stop her sobs. They were finally coming out in full force. Being able to hold Robert in her arms again soothed her, at the same time it had broken the dam, that was holding her grief inside. Her Sybil would have died, whatever they had tried that evening. Her precious angel did not stand a chance.
She pressed herself even firmer against Robert when she noticed he was crying too. The last time she saw him cry was when he had lost all their money. She felt guilty, for pushing him away. Blaming everything on him, but now she was holding him in her arms again.
Robert felt so much relief when Cora kept holding on to him. As if she could restore her strength through his body. He could not lose his Cora too, having to miss his darling little girl was already too much. But Cora was back in his arms. They would go through this together.
After a while, he felt Cora take a deep breath and slowly loosen her grip on him. She stepped back and searched for a handkerchief in her small purse. Robert reached for his handkerchief and handed it to her.
She started dabbing her nose. "Mama has left," Robert said quietly. He saw Cora look up to where she had been standing, and when she confirmed herself, Violet had left. She blew her nose. This almost made Robert chuckle. Her uncontrollable crying was already not ladylike, Mama would not have minded her blowing her nose.
"I am sorry." Cora said with a still chocked voice.
Robert took Cora's hands in his and only shook his head.
"I blamed Sybil's death on you. You followed his advice which turned out to be the wrong one. We lost our darling Sybil, but we would have lost her anyway. Whatever we would have done. She would have died." Her voice got stuck in her throat when a new wave of tears hit her.
Robert saw Cora breaking again and pulled her in his arms again. Pressing her firmly against him. He cupped her head and pressed it against his shoulder. He felt her hands on his shoulder blades, her fingers digging into his skin to keep him close.
"I was stubborn that night. I should have trusted Dr. Clarkson."
He felt Cora shaking her head and her soft. "No"
"I cannot blame you for blaming me." He continued. "I wish I could have been there for you in your grief. But I gave in and left you alone."
Cora pushed herself back and looked up at him. She saw a broken man, who had been struggling on his own. "No, I should not have blamed you. I was not there to grieve with you. I blamed you and I was wrong for doing that. We need each other and I took that away from you. You lost your baby girl and I pushed you away."
"We. Cora. We lost our darling girl."
Cora nodded. "You are right. We. It should always be: we." Her shoulders folded forwards. She felt incredibly tired all of a sudden. When she looked at Robert's face, she saw her exhaustion reflected on his face. "Let us go home."
"Can we go to Sybil's grave first?" He stopped and looked at Cora's worn-out face. He wanted to put her down in bed and curl up against her. But something inside said they should go to her grave together.
Cora looked at Robert's face, she slowly took his hand in hers with a soft squeeze she answered him.
Robert took in a shaky breath, standing in front of Sybil's grave, with Cora next to him was too much. It was his own idea to go here, but he had not realised how much it would hurt.
Cora stared at Sybil's grave, it felt unreal. As if it was all a dream. When she looked at her side, she saw Robert slowly breaking down. He sunk onto his knees and cried uncontrollably.
"You were to young, my darling. To young." He cried.
Cora lowered herself next to him, not caring about the dirt that would get on her dress. She wrapped her arms around Robert and pressed him against her chest. She made soft sussing sounds.
Robert attached himself to Cora. He needed her more than ever, he realised. Finally, he felt himself calm down. "You do not know the amount of times, I read something in the paper and wanted to go to Sybil and tell her about it. But the moment I got up, and realised she was not there anymore. Oh, Cora, it hurts so much. How do we go on without her?"
Cora had taken his hand in hers, their hands rested on her lap. "We have to. We will find a way. Mary and Edith still need us. And Sybbie and Tom do too."
"Darling Sybbie. We will protect her from the harsh world and make sure she gets everything she needs."
Cora did not answer, her thumb brushed over Robert's hand. Robert started to get up, what made Cora look at him.
"It is time to go home." He said, helping her off the ground. He tried to brush off the dirt that was on the skirt of her dress. He looked at her face again. He saw dark circles under her eyes, and the sparkle that was normally in her eyes had vanished. The lines around her eyes and mouth had gotten deeper. He raised his hand to her cheek. "Together." This made the corners of her mouth go up a little bit.
"Together," Cora said. "Together we will be able to face what is coming." She hooked her arm in his and they started the walk back to the house.