Chapter Eleven: Trowa

Though it took longer than expected Une finally informed Trowa that Preventers cleared Duo as a person of interest in Quatre's case. Because of personal entanglements with the former Deathscythe pilot he wasn't allowed to participate in vetting Duo's alibis or in clearing his name, but now that Duo was no longer a person of interest Une would formally invite him to work the case alongside Trowa. And that meant he was scoping out the halls looking for "Mateo."

The two hadn't really spoken since the elevator and Trowa wasn't sure where they stood. Duo didn't appear to know how to react to his presence, and he suspected the hot and cold behavior was spurred by a survival instinct. Maybe it had to do with how Heero was his partner at Preventers. That was Duo's role, before he vanished. But it wasn't like Duo to hold a grudge over Trowa taking his place at work. It was much more likely that he was uncertain of where Trowa's loyalties would lie if given a choice between them.

Trowa still didn't know the cause of the rift between Heero and Duo. His partner never brought it up once and he knew better than to ask. But he wouldn't be choosing anyone. Trowa didn't believe in ultimatums like that. If anything he was invested in helping his two friends find a path of understanding. It would certainly make his life easier if Heero's mood swings were less wild. He wasn't particularly fond of the strangely upbeat Heero who came to work two days ago. More importantly, he wanted his friends to stop making each other miserable. Duo didn't need to love Heero back. He didn't even owe Heero friendship. But things couldn't keep going the way they were.

For now he wanted Duo to know he was trustworthy.

He needed Duo to realize it wasn't just Wufei who had his back.

There was always something in Duo that suggested they were more alike than any of the other ex Gundam pilots. Though they never spoke about their pasts with each other Trowa picked up on hints over the years. The way Duo was so familiar and at home with the Sweepers, a rowdy group of international misfits, was probably the biggest clue to their similarities. If they got to know one another better he was sure their pasts would run surprisingly parallel. And if he was right about that, then Duo was probably the closest thing to a brother he'd ever have.

Not taking the time to know Duo better was one of the bigger regrets in his life. He hoped they could sort things out given another opportunity, and maybe forge a real friendship instead of the circumstantial one they had before.

Une, for her part, tipped him off to the approximate time Duo would arrive for his debriefing. She appeared all too eager to facilitate the advancement of their friendship. It was a privilege to experience the kinder side to their tough leader, and Trowa was grateful she trusted the Gundam pilots enough to expose her good nature to them. Not many people saw her soft side.

Instead of conspicuously scoping out Une's office he planted himself with a view of Wufei's. His friend mentioned that he asked Duo to stop by, so the likely order of operations would be Une and the debriefing, then Wufei, then gone. When he saw a figure in a baseball cap and jacket exiting Wufei's office he knew he bet correctly. But Duo was walking quickly.

"Hey, Mateo!"

Duo stopped and turned, clearly startled to hear his cover name shouted out in a relatively quiet office. It was odd to see him make a sharp movement without his braid whipping behind him. Another agent bumped into him and Duo mumbled something, quickly pulling his displaced jacket collar up. He looked up to Trowa as the taller man approached.

"Can I help you? Did I miss a package for pickup?"

The formality threw Trowa off for a moment. It hadn't occurred to him that Duo would keep cover after accessing the facility. He wondered if perhaps Duo was running fake deliveries for Wufei as well. He answered in his usual quiet tone "Can we talk?"

The light in Duo's eyes shifted but Trowa couldn't decipher what that meant. "I got fifteen where'd ya wanna do this?"

"McKeage took a promotion. Her office is empty for another week."

Duo nodded and Trowa lead the way to a small office on the other end of the floor. All personal belongings were removed but a desk, bookcase, and two chairs remained. Duo wasted no time making his way behind the desk to check out the view from the sole window. It was just another building and a small alleyway. He murmured "No wonder the desk faces away from the view."

Trowa shut the door and prepared himself for a possible battle. He took a deep breath. "Duo—"

"I was on the case before Une cleared me. I've got a few solid leads I've been working on, there's not too many folks who survived L2 and have the means to credibly threaten Winner. I think I know who it is, I just need to finish runnin down all the possible avenues. I submitted his name at the top of my list to Une and—"

"Duo, that's not what I want to discuss with you."

As Duo looked to him with confusion Trowa realized that it never occurred to the American that he'd want to talk about anything outside of the case. Though it was oddly touching how much thought Duo put into tracking down the source of the threats against Quatre, Une would have that handled for now. She'd include him in future meetings and appraise him of any breakthroughs. What concerned Trowa currently was getting his friend back.

"I asked you to talk to me because I want to know…" He hesitated, suddenly unsure of himself. "It's just that we used to be friends, I think. But it's been so long and…" Trowa was struggling with his words and he knew it. Talking, especially opening up about his feelings, was still something he often struggled with. While he could privately and at great length express his feelings to Quatre, everything else required effort. "I was wondering, are we—"

"I'm gonna stop you right there, Tro." Duo sighed heavily and turned back around to gaze out the window. Trowa felt a lump in his throat. He was ready to be let down, and a small part of him blamed Wufei for getting his hopes up. "I was never really all that mad at ya."

That took him by surprise, and it showed, but Duo didn't need to turn around or look up at his reflection to understand that Trowa needed more clarification. He kept his eyes on the alley below as he spoke.

"During the war, and after, you always treated me fair. Hard on me when I deserved it and a good friend otherwise. I know friendship wasn't really your strong suit back then but trust me when I say that the way ya had my back was definitely friendship."

Violet eyes spared a glance at the reflection and met green. They looked at each other in the glass, sizing up their respective situations for a moment. For Duo to declare Trowa as firmly his friend during the wars was shocking. There was no way Duo forgot how he destroyed Deathscythe. But even after Trowa took away his Gundam, Duo helped him reconnect with Quatre when he had amnesia. And not long after the American saved both him and Quatre from Oz. Trowa wondered if maybe Duo described their relationship backwards. It always seemed, to him, that it was Duo who had his back.

Realizing he should say something, Trowa spoke in a measured tone. "So why'd you keep your distance if you weren't mad at me?"

Duo suddenly became visibly weary, like his next words were going to cost him a high price. He wanted to rub his face or make some kind of movement to release tension but remained still to appear as neutral as possible as he locked eyes with Trowa in the glass. "Honestly Trowa, I didn't want to cause problems with you and Winner seein' as he and I aren't on good terms. I'd rather…" his words trailed as he searched for the right way to phrase what he was feeling. "I'd rather be the common thorn in your sides than be a subject that divides you."

There was a lot of honesty in that statement, spoken in a resigned and quiet voice. Trowa couldn't help but notice how deep Duo's eyes appeared in that moment and how haunted they were. He was almost afraid to contradict that heartfelt sentiment. But almost wasn't enough to stop him.

"Did you really think whatever happened between you and Quatre would threaten my relationship with him if you and I stayed friends?" As he spoke he noted the shift in Duo's posture and the change in those eyes that now pinned him in place directly as Duo turned to face him. He suppressed the urge to shudder.

"Your relationship was new." Duo looked fully away then towards a corner of the room, reaching for the end of his braid and playing with the fringe of his long hair. Trowa wasn't even sure when he'd released the long rope from wherever he was hiding it. This was a nervous habit that he remembered from the war but had not seen since. "I don' really know much 'bout relationships that actually work out but I've heard that these things can be a strain. It wouldn't be fair, yanno?"

He turned pointedly at Trowa and the short haired man felt the full weight of Duo's gaze. "No way in hell I'd let me be a reason you two fought early on. Like I said: it was you who always treated me fair." He lost eye contact again and added softly "You'd have sided with me if you knew." Then he spoke at a regular volume and returned eye contact once more. "But it was too damn early for you to pick someone else over him. Now you're established and he knows how ya feel but back then he was insecure. You'd barely started anything. Siding against him mighta made him think you didn't really care."

Trowa's face took on an expression Duo had never seen before. They looked at each other for a long time and idly Duo wondered why this moment was comfortable and not awkward. He also wondered why with Trowa he could stand this close in a small room with his guard down, but with Heero there were always road blocks. If only he could get to this point with Heero maybe things would be different. Those thoughts were quick and unstructured. They were more a rush of feelings than anything reasoned out in his head, but he knew it all the same. And then Trowa smiled a new smile and his attention was back in the present.

"You're exceptional, Duo Maxwell."

Duo's stomach fell out from under him and his eyes twitched slightly as he tried to keep composure and steady his breathing. Could Trowa hear his heart beating against his chest? Because the sound was loud in his ears, and though he stilled as best as he could there was nothing he wanted more than to flee.

"Hey, Duo." Trowa kept his voice low and soft in the same way he spoke to animals at the circus when they were spooked by something. It was an automatic reaction to the look in Duo's eyes that showcased a wild need for fight or flight. It broke his heart to see his friend so unable to accept and process praise. Taking a chance, he slowly approached and placed a hand on Duo's shoulder.

He was relieved when he wasn't met with resistance. The braided man looked so tired up close.

"Thank you, Duo. You're a good friend even when it hurts you. And I want you to know that I appreciate you and all you've done. But your mission is over now. You succeeded, and Quatre and I are solid beyond my wildest dreams. So please, if you're able, I'd like to have my friend back."

Duo closed his eyes tightly and when he reopened them they were shining with pain. That look took Trowa by surprise and he worried his words made things worse. But Duo rescued him quickly. "Tro. I'm glad you're okay. And I'm glad that we're okay… that is, of course, if I'm understanding you correctly." Trowa gave a small nod of confirmation. "But it won't be that easy with me and Winner."

No attempt was made by Trowa to hide his frustration and it showed in the way his voice suddenly lost that calming effect and gained an edge. "Can't you accept that he's sorry?"

Duo exhaled softly but sharply. He spoke hardly above a whisper. "No he's not."

Trowa's jaw dropped a fraction to alleviate his tension and he rolled his eyes – a habit Duo thought must be a byproduct of spending so much time with Quatre. He fixed Duo with a defiant look and unconsciously increased his grip on the American's shoulder. "Of course he's sorry. What makes you think he's not? He just wants this feud over with!"

Duo jerked away from Trowa's grasp and quickly pulled his collar back in place when it slipped. "I'm not sure he understands how he hurts people, Trowa. He can't be sorry until he does!"

A bitterness lingered in the air from that outburst. It was the first time during their talk that the atmosphere danced on the line between comfortable and awkward. Trowa didn't know he was holding his breath until he tried to speak. "What do you mean by that?"

This wasn't how Duo wanted things to go.

Patching things up with Trowa should be where this ended, not where things fell apart. How could he go down this path and come out the other side without burning this new bridge? But he was just so tired of tiptoeing around delicate subjects. And most of all he was tired of being everyone's enemy when he wasn't the one in the wrong. He crossed his arms and cocked his head to one side, staring directly at Trowa. "Before I say anything, I'd like to state for the record that you've backed me into a corner, here. You're demanding answers an' ya might not like the ones I have to offer. So that's on you, because I was tryin'a be polite." He broke eye contact and looked away as he took a deep breath but he didn't pause long.

"Your boyfriend is a fake friend to me, and there's no nice way to say that. He's always been very two-faced with me. Friendly with other people around and rude enough to rival Relena when we're alone. He's not sorry for what he did because the reason I don't like him is rooted in his personality and not some error or lapse in judgment. I trust him in a mission parameter, but no further."

Those words knocked the wind out of Trowa. His voice was low and confused when he whispered "what?" and Duo's resolve crumbled a fraction. He glanced back to Trowa.

"Listen I dunno what it is about me but it's been rough with him since Meteor and it only got worse over time. I don't think he's a bad person. If I did I'd be against you and him. I just." Duo seemed to sink behind his baseball cap as he stuck his hands into the front pockets of his jacket. "I dunno he and I just don't get along and I dunno why."

The room fell silent. Neither quite knew what to say. Duo tucked his braid away, sensing it was time to leave. "Hey," he said, looking at the floor. "None of this changes how I feel about you, Tro. Maybe next time I see ya it'll be a little less of a downer. It would be nice to just... hang out." Duo's sincerity hit Trowa hard. "And I'm not gonna let Winner get hurt under my watch. You have my word on that."

"I never doubted it."

The words rushed out of Trowa with a clear desperation, indicating how important it was for him that Duo know just how much he trusted him. In response Duo's eyes softened a bit.

He paused. "I'll see ya this weekend. Wufei made me promise."

By the time Trowa made to ask what Duo meant by "this weekend" he was already gone. He smiled sadly and spoke into the empty room. "Still exceptional, Duo Maxwell."