Chapter Twenty: Scars

Heero couldn't help staring. He was used to seeing scars on others and on himself, but this particular scar upset him.

It was a long divot of shiny skin where it appeared a bullet entered the body and immediately exited after ripping its way through about 8 centimeters of flesh. The angle was shallow enough to leave a small section of skin intact towards the middle, confirming it was not a graze but a through and through. None of these details made it particularly unsettling.

He was horrified because the scar ran across Duo's neck, and when Duo's head turned as Sally examined his lymph nodes, the scar settled directly onto his carotid artery.

Knowing the dangers of Duo's job gave Heero an underlying anxiety, but for the past few months he avoided accepting the full reality that death practically chased the American in the time they were out of touch. It was easy to dismiss his worst fears by telling himself that his beloved baka was too smart, too quick, too good at his job to die. But now he was looking at evidence of a near fatal wound.

To see it for the first time while Duo recovered in the hospital from another near fatal wound shattered the comforting delusion that death could not catch his Shinigami.

It occurred to Heero, as his eyes fixated on the cursed patch of flesh, that since reappearing in their lives Duo always wore some kind of jacket, collared shirt, or winter scarf. Now he couldn't help thinking this was by design. He only had a good look now because the mandatory hospital gown Duo wore. Once Sally finished her examination, she stepped away to speak to a nurse and began a conversation with Duo and Trowa.

Heero wasn't paying attention to them, and wasn't sure how long they were talking when he interrupted. His voice was firm when he asked "Did you get a good look at him?"

Duo spoke for the others when he inquired, a quizzical look on his face, "Who? The guy at the cabin?"

Frowning, Heero gestured to his own neck as he clarified. "The other guy who shot you."

For a full two seconds Duo couldn't hide his surprise, and Heero knew without a shadow of a doubt he'd been hiding that scar on purpose. Confirmation came again as Duo reached to adjust the collar his hospital gown didn't have. He quickly moved his braid over his neck, his eyes darting between Heero and the others. "Uh, yeah. I saw him."

"You get him?"

Duo tensed at those words. "No. I uh… I didn't get him."

Wufei sensed an oncoming fight. Thinking he could delay or prevent it with a little humor, he jumped in and asked with over-acted disbelief "You're saying someone shot THE Duo Maxwell and lived to tell that tale?"

Whatever color Duo regained from his transfusions fully drained from his face. He was also starting to look like he was considering running away from the conversation. When he spoke his words were rushed, and one hand raised to further cover the scar. "Listen it's not that big a deal I'm fine and I got outta that mission alive, okay?" He locked eyes with Heero and continued "it's really not a big deal. It was a long time ago."

Heero frowned. "You didn't have that scar before you took your current job with Preventers. So how long ago was this?"

Duo stared unblinking at him for a long pause before his eyes darted to the nearest exit. Heero frowned seeing those flight instincts kicking into full gear, though he did find it almost cute given the situation how Duo still thought he could escape. But he didn't move to flee. He only answered softly "about a year and a half ago."

As far as Heero could tell there was no doubt Duo was hiding something. He glanced to Trowa, signaling a request for backup. Without missing beat the taller man asked "What kind of mission were you on?"

Duo was obviously a little nervous, though Heero didn't know if it was entirely from the line of questioning or if he was still a little off kilter from anemic whiplash. He watched as Duo tugged at his hair, loosening his braid into larger tufts so the mass of chestnut locks covered more surface area across his neck. Duo answered Trowa with a surprisingly steady voice.

"Simple decoy mission. Should've been in and out but yanno what they say: the best laid plans—"

"Of mice and men oft go astray."

Although the cadence of Duo's voice indicated he was not going to finish that particular saying, someone else completed the phrase. The group turned to see Milliardo Peacecraft enter the crowded room. He nodded a hello to everyone, heading directly to Trowa. After whispering something to the other man he focused on Duo. "Maxwell, it's always a pleasure to see you looking well. I'm surprised you have any proverbs in your repertoire. You typically sound so crass."

Trowa gestured for Quatre to follow him and they made their way out of the room while Duo gave Zechs a weary smile. "I'm only crass because you're around, Zechs. You don't exactly bring out the best in me. Except in fights. I win our fights."

Heero watched the ease with which these two men teased one another. Zechs recalled with a hint of arrogance how he couldn't remember them ever directly fighting one another physically during either of the wars. Duo was unfazed.

"We fought plenty as Preventers."

"You were a lot of trouble when you first joined up, that's true."

Duo laughed. "I was trouble? At least I fought for the side who won both wars. Remind me why they hired a washed up has been like you?"

As they continued to quip back and forth Heero could only stare. He lost a bit of time when it dawned on him that Duo didn't look annoyed. He looked happy. As Heero's attention drew back to them he heard Zechs coolly state that he did bring out the best in Duo when they fought, and perhaps that's why they worked well together. Heero could only lean towards Wufei and ask in a low voice "since when did they get so comfortable?"

Zechs turned to them with a coy smile. "Since Une partnered us on a two week recon mission. The choices were learning to get along or killing one another. Honestly though it was an easy decision." He glanced at Duo and his features eased into a genuine smile. "I'm glad you're on the mend. When I heard what happened I was worried about you."

"I've been here one day how the hell did you hear about anything?"

"News travels fast."

"Une?"

"Une."

Reaching into his pocket, Zechs produced a small plush mouse that fit easily into his hand. "Noin sent it, since you're our favorite street rat." As he handed it to Duo, the American's eyes lit up. The mouse looked a little pathetic in an unskilled and handmade way. It was utterly charming.

"Did she make this?"

"She thought making one for you would be good practice. We've held onto it for a coupe of months and when I flew out she insisted I take it with me in case I saw you. I've been on earth for a week already. When I told her you were hurt and I was coming to see you today she laid out many threats upon me if I didn't bring you this mouse."

As Zechs spoke Duo's expression shifted from one of amused delight to something much more sentimental. He looked a little overwhelmed as he whispered "tell her thank you for me."

Sensing Duo might be uncomfortable with a public display of his emotions, a predatory glint flashed across Zech's eyes and he changed topics, turning to Heero and Wufei. "You know, Duo's probably the finest partner I've worked with."

Duo tensed and blushed deeply. Praise was not something he took well and Zechs knew this, taking full advantage of it every chance he got. It was very rare he got an audience for this outside of Une or Noin, and he was not one to pass up a great opportunity.

For Heero and Wufei it was clear that Duo and Zechs played this game before. They witnessed it bring Duo out of sentimentality and directly into playfulness. The American took on a fatigued but devilish attitude. His look was one Heero knew well. Duo was going for the kill.

"Thanks, man. I'll be sure to tell Noin for ya."

The older man blanched. "You wouldn't!"

Duo held the mouse up to his face and grinned. He looked like he was posing for a photo with the small trinket. "Do these street rats lie?"

"Duo—"

"Is my hair nicer than yours?"

"What?"

"Come on. You know I've got the best hair in Preventers."

"If I say yes will you shut up and not tell my wife you're a better mission partner than her?"

Duo was beaming and Heero was jealous.

How could Zechs of all people bring out this side of Duo? He was never on the best of terms with Relena's brother, but he'd not wanted to all out attack him like this since the wars. Heero would give anything to be so familiar with Duo again. He wanted to be the cause of Duo's bright and unwavering smile. That Zechs of all people unlocked Duo's mischievous nature hurt.

A sudden wave of apprehension hit him, and Heero asked as nonchalantly as he could manage "when did you say Une paired you up?"

Zechs turned to him with a sympathetic look that Heero wanted very much to wipe off his face. Duo became ashen when Zechs actually answered the question.

Heero's ears stopped working. His brain buffered as he processed the words "nearly two years ago." He couldn't remember moving. There was shouting. Wufei pulled him somewhere. And he tasted familiar and metallic blood on his lips.

When he calmed down enough for his hearing to return, Sally's sharp and commanding voice was negotiating with hospital staff to allow all parties to remain. She was saying something about how there would be no further fighting and she was "officially in charge from here on out." Wufei's grip was still forcibly holding Heero in place even though he was no longer struggling. When Sally asked Zechs and Duo if they were all right, Heero found it difficult to keep his emotions in check. There was no doubt he'd fucked up.

Trying to remove himself from Wufei's grip proved challenging, as it turned the man's attention back to him and caused Wufei to hold on more firmly.

"Wufei I'm fine. You can let go."

He felt the hands on him loosen a little to test if he was truly calm or if he was planning to attack once freed. Wufei's dark and harsh eyes examined him closely. To signal he was really okay he reached up and gently pat his friend's shoulder. Wufei relaxed, and he pulled Heero into a firm hug before letting him go.

Duo was across the room in his bed looking haggard, entrenched in confusion as he stared wide eyed at Heero. He clutched the small mouse in one hand like an emotional anchor. Zechs was leaning close to his ear, softly speaking to Duo and ignoring everyone else in the room. The calming effect he had on the braided man was evident. Heero saw Zech's hand on Duo's shoulder, gently applying and releasing pressure to give Duo something to focus on. That was when Heero truly understood how badly he'd fucked up. He'd nearly sent Duo, who had been exhibiting subtle signs that he was straining to keep up his energy, into shock.

Zechs stood upright and gave Heero his full attention when the Japanese man crossed the room with purpose and approached Duo.

"I'm sorry. It's been a very stressful and restless day but that's not an excuse for my behavior." Heero looked to Zechs and saw a bruise forming on the other man's face where he punched him moments earlier. His stomach sank. Even if they didn't get along very well, he attacked two friends today and that was unacceptable. His behavior was not reflective of the man he worked to become. He took a deep breath and attempted to explain himself to Zechs.

"I thought Duo was going to die today. And then to find out you've known he was here for two years? I just… that anger was about myself. Not you." Zechs gave him a nod so small Heero almost missed it. Then he turned to Duo, his voice thick with emotion. "I'm so sorry, Duo. Gojiai kudasai."

Heero turned so quickly to walk out the door that he missed Duo's eyes softening after he finished speaking. He also missed the way the braided man bit his lower lip to keep from calling him back.

The following day when Duo was discharged into Quatre's care there was no denying Heero's behavior towards Zechs was a factor in the decision. Duo protested the idea of going anywhere other than his own home, declaring he'd been sent there alone in worse condition before, but an absolutely withering look from Sally shut him up. The lack of autonomy he was given over his own circumstances bothered him. It didn't help that there was also no reasonable argument for why staying at his apartment would be better than staying at Quatre's estate with literal servants at his beck and call.

Duo thought the whole "Quatre drugged me" argument was extremely valid, but either the others didn't know yet or they were brushing Quatre's behavior aside. He hesitated to make a big fuss of it while he was still in pain. Duo didn't have the energy to deal with everyone arguing.

What was the worst thing that could happen if he went to Quatre's? Dying of boredom?

Sally made it clear she would have preferred Duo stay another day in the hospital, but once he was up and walking with ease he met discharge criteria. Uncontrolled bleeding was what made his gunshot wound so life threatening, not the actual bullet trajectory. She knew the bleed was repaired. She knew his blood volume was back to normal after his last transfusion. She knew as a doctor that this discharge criteria was an unfortunate protocol meant to keep hospital beds open. She also knew, as a friend, that she wanted him under supervised care for a while longer.

Duo remained quiet until he was being wheeled into the hospital lobby where the décor reminded him of the time of year.

"Wait! I need to go home don't do this to me."

Trowa, who was pushing his wheelchair, leaned down slightly to give Duo a strange look. Wide violet orbs met green. "You gotta get me out of this, Tro."

The taller man wasn't sure what to do and glanced ahead to where Quatre and Heero were discussing details of Duo's care. He felt a hand reach up and grab him by the collar, yanking him downward until he was face to face with his injured friend.

Duo spoke in a low growl. "I never meant to bring this up again but you fucking owe me, Barton. If you can't get me out of this right now you better fucking get me out of it in the next two days."

After taking a second to process the demand Trowa asked "By Christmas eve?"

The fist around his collar tightened and Duo pulled him threateningly closer. "I will kill you both myself if I have to spend Christmas or Christmas eve with anyone."

If someone asked Trowa which of the former Gundam pilots could be the most threatening while looking thoroughly exhausted and wearing borrowed sweat pants with a hoodie that was two sizes too big, he never would have guessed Duo Maxwell. But now he had no doubt. Because he was convinced Duo truly would follow through and kill him.

He placed a heavy hand on Duo's shoulder. "You have my word. Even if I need to jailbreak you myself you'll be home before Christmas eve." Duo relaxed a bit and Trowa felt himself ease in return.

At least his word still meant something to the braided pilot.

TRANSLATION FOOTNOTES

Gojiai kudasai – Please take care of yourself, usually said to someone who is sick or vulnerable.