Chapter Twenty Nine: Heero

When the door clicked open and no one inside the apartment stirred Duo knew Heero was truly down for the count. He gently closed the front door, slid his lock picking set into his boot, and took a moment to let his eyes wander over the place. Though he'd been to Heero's apartment a month ago at new year he never really got the chance to take a look around. Back then he was too preoccupied with Heero and his task of keeping the man engaged and at a distance.

This was the first time he was seeing Heero's apartment without the anxiety of falling into old habits, specifically, the anxiety of falling into bed. As his eyes roamed it dawned on him just how much Heero must have changed over the course of his disappearance.

His apartment looked lived in and warm. When they were together Heero's place was a furnished rental with no signs of who occupied it, and now his apartment had art on the walls. There were five large abstract industrial prints that, after an initial first glance, Duo realized were partial schematics for each of the five Gundams. Nothing ground breaking or top secret but definitely the Gundams. Smaller frames contained photos of the pilots, some group shots from the war and several from afterwards.

The post war photos were all from events that must have occurred after Duo ran and hid. Other than a single photo of all five pilots from the end of the first war none included him. Some of the photos were ones he recognized because he was behind the camera. But many were simply from events held without him.

He was beginning to have second thoughts about breaking into Heero's apartment with groceries to check in on him, and stifled a small laugh at the absurdity of the situation. Heero invited him over a few times since new years and each time Duo turned him down because he was so scared to get close again. In an attempt to keep their line of communication open Heero assured him that he could drop by any time. But this? This was violating Heero's privacy. No matter how he spun his motives there was no way around how he was crossing a line out of selfish concern.

It was true that years ago he and Heero made a promise never to let locked doors stand between them when either was in danger. But Duo wasn't certain that promise was still valid. And it didn't matter if the others would do the same and break in because the others had established relationships with one another that included meddling acts like this. They'd all gotten close enough as a group to intrude into each other's lives at some point.

Duo wasn't really one of the group. Not yet. But he decided if Heero got angry he'd deal with the consequences later. A promise was a promise, no matter when it was made. Right now Heero was in danger. And Duo wouldn't let a locked door keep him away.

Quietly, he toed off his shoes and picked up the bags he deposited on the floor when entering the apartment. He moved from the doorway into the kitchen, leaving the bags on the counter before stalking down a short hallway in search of the Japanese man. It was worrying how long he'd gone unnoticed. Looking into an open doorway Duo wasn't fully prepared for the sight of Heero, flushed and sweaty, blanket pulled to his chin, breathing laboriously while laying somewhere between his side and his stomach in a restless sleep. It didn't escape him how handsome the man before him looked, nor how vulnerable.

Heero needed rest, and Duo's stealth skills meant he could work without waking him. He approached the bed and glanced down to Heero's night stand. An empty water glass and a bottle of ibuprofen paired with a timer displayed on Heero's phone told him how long he had until Heero needed to take medication again. He smiled and thought "Still compulsively self sufficient, obsessively timing his own medications."

On the same side of the bed a rolling table with Heero's laptop hovered over his feet. The table was caught on the foot board and looked like it was haphazardly pushed away when Heero tired of it. Duo wondered if this particular table was purchased expressly for working from bed. It had a black iron frame and beautiful natural edge wood top. For what was essentially a hospital bed table it certainly had style. It was very curious to think of Heero Yuy as having a strong sense of decor.

He slowly held a hand out to hover near Heero's cheek and felt heat radiating from his skin without any physical contact. There was no doubt he was as feverish as he looked. Duo padded softly back into the kitchen, pulled an item from one of his bags, and returned to Heero's side. Though he was worried, the sight before him made him smile.

Heero pulled a lump against his chest that was hidden underneath his blanket. Since when did Heero Yuy, pilot of Wing Zero, hug a pillow as he slept? It was beyond adorable.

Duo grinned as he pointed a small infrared thermometer at the sleeping man. The reading made him instantly frown, not only because Heero's fever was borderline dangerous but because the beeping of the apparatus didn't stir him one iota.

It would be another three hours before additional medication was needed and that was more than enough time for what he had in mind in the kitchen. It also gave him plenty of opportunity to ensure Heero's fever didn't cross that line into being truly dangerous.

Heero did not stir at the small sounds of movement, nor did he open his eyes as his name was softly called as though in a dream. The hand on his cheek, however, woke him immediately. He didn't move when the same hand gently touched his forehead and then returned to his cheek to hesitantly linger. He didn't move when a familiar voice called his name once more. If this was a dream he wanted to stay there regardless of how miserable and exhausted he felt.

When the voice increased from a whisper to a speaking volume he decided it was time to open his eyes. The lids were unusually heavy. He heard a sequence of beeps and struggled his eyes open in time to see what looked like Duo kneeling next to his bed, reading a device in his left hand while the right remained in contact with Heero's skin.

He watched through half lidded eyes as Duo let out a quick sigh and laid the device on his bedside table before turning to him. If Duo was startled by Heero watching him, he didn't let on.

"Hey, pal. Feelin any better? Your fever's starting to break, but not as fast as I'd hoped."

He registered an odd tone in Duo's voice and was convinced he really was dreaming. The real Duo was still too hurt by him to get this close or to show this much outward care. The real Duo made that clear in a conference room at HQ. Only an imaginary Duo would be here looking and sounding concerned for his health. Heero blinked slowly but the hallucination did not disappear. Instead, Imaginary Duo frowned a little.

"Listen buddy, I hate to do this to ya but you're gonna need to eat something and take your next dose of meds if you wanna feel better sooner rather than later. So you're gonna need to sit up now."

Heero watched with wonder as the hallucination took hold of the edge of his blanket and carefully moved it down to his waist. As the warmth it provided escaped he involuntarily shivered. He noticed Imaginary Duo's eyes fall onto the pillow in his arms for what felt like a full minute but, he reasoned through his fog, was probably only a few heavy seconds.

"Where did you get that?"

Heero shifted and held the pillow a little closer before answering with silently mouthed words "you know where." An emotion he couldn't place flashed in Imaginary Duo's eyes and Heero was certain this was when he would disappear. Instead the hallucination stood in one smooth motion, reached a hand cautiously to pry the pillow from his arms, and then to Heero's surprise he was being lifted into a seated position with his back against the headboard.

"You're really here" he said.

"And you stole my pillow."

He watched Duo through his feverish haze. "You left it along with most of your belongings when you ran away. I got it from your landlord. It's not stealing if it's abandoned."

The decidedly real Duo gave him a sad smile and then reached towards the foot of the bed and rolled his laptop table towards him. The computer was gone and replaced with a meal Heero hadn't even noticed, he was so focused on the miracle talking to him.

"You need to eat something and regain strength. I refilled your water with a sports drink. It's orange. I know you like orange. Take two pills with it after you've finished your food."

Bleary eyed he pawed for the chopsticks laying across the bowl and turned his focus to the contents of the meal before him. The hand holding the utensils froze when his eyes truly took in the modest dish. Hesitantly, he extended his free hand to grasp the bowl and lift it towards his face, but the ceramic was too hot to hold with one hand. He placed the chopsticks down and gingerly took the upper edges of the bowl using just his thumbs and middle fingers and brought it under his nose. With one shaky breath a savory note cut through his congestion and his glassy eyes widened. As his hands began to tremble, Duo silently left the room and retreated to the kitchen. This was the culmination of a significant amount of effort for the American, but it was not his moment to witness.

Heero, meanwhile, brought the bowl to his lips and unconsciously blew over it before taking a small sip of broth. As memories of his childhood flooded back to him, he didn't notice the tears streaming down his face. Cradling the bowl to his chest with his blanket in between, and reveling in the warmth it radiated. It was hot enough to feel through the blanket. He freed one hand to again grasp for chopsticks and tentatively took his first bite, closing his eyes as he brought noodles to his lips and savoring the moment.

It was nearly thirty minutes before he left his bed and found Duo silently and methodically drying dishes in his kitchen. The room held a fragrance of memories, the stove keeping half a pot of broth hot and ready. He stood watching Duo as he worked, braid swaying lazily as his hands and arms moved. Heero wasn't too proud to use the back of a kitchen chair to keep his balance. His body ached but he'd fought through terrible injury when needed during the war so he could walk and stand for this now. When Duo finally turned and looked up Heero couldn't read his expression.

"You should be resting. Go back to bed. If you need anything I'll bring it to you." That voice he loved was smooth and easygoing. It held no scolding tone and Heero wondered what was going on in Duo's head. Did he understand, did he really understand, what Heero just experienced?

His grip tightened on the chair but his voice was soft. "How did you know?"

The question was rewarded with a sweet smile, a slight upward turn of lips accompanied by a glimmer in violet eyes that he knew well. "You weren't answering texts. Wufei mentioned you hadn't been to work and Sally said a flu was going around the office. I was worried."

Heero remained stuck on those last words. Duo was worried about him. He spent weeks keeping casual communication open and laying no expectations on the skittish American. The strategy was wearing on him and he was losing patience but he treated it as a mission. It was not his place to decide when or if Duo accepted his friendship. He learned the hard way that you cannot demand forgiveness nor acceptance and instead must earn trust before either becomes a distant possibility. It just wasn't always easy to follow through with a plan that included giving up control of a situation.

But Wufei reminded him, almost weekly, to take the correct path and wait without complaint. Never did he appreciate his friend reminding him to follow what Heero knew was the right path more than he did in this moment. Wufei kept him on track. Kept him from becoming too overbearing and selfish. He'd have to thank him later.

Heero realized with a start that his mind was wandering and Duo was still talking none the wiser. No amount of exhaustion would stop the warm feeling that overcame him as he refocused on the babbling American. "So the Commander spilled the beans. Told me you really were home sick." Heero watched as Duo put the last dishes away and began to wipe the counter. The action reminded him of a woman who worked at the diner close to headquarters. She'd wipe down the counters every chance she got either to fill time or keep an exceptionally clean workspace. He was never really sure which one. "Anyway, your secret of fallibility it safe with me-"

"Stop it."

Heero's words weren't angry, but they were firm. Duo knew better than to speak until Heero got out what was on his mind.

"Stop all the avoidance. You know what I meant. What I'm asking. How did you know?" As he spoke, he saw the light in Duo's eyes take on a new emotion. He saw his body tense a little, as though he wanted to shift weight from one foot to another but re-thought it and stayed relatively still. He saw Duo's expression change into something that might hold a trace of embarrassment, as though Heero caught him with his hands in a cookie jar.

Duo stifled a sigh. "Years ago, during Operation Meteor, there was one evening when you let your guard down. Remember the second time I broke you out of an Oz prison? They'd drugged you." Even sick, Heero's reaction was clear: disbelief that he'd behaved in a way to compromise his mission. Duo forged ahead. "Don't look at me that way. Curious as I was I couldn't get you to say anythin' about the mission or your Gundam. But you got a little talkative about other things." Heero's face became noticeably confused and a little scared. He looked like he was trying to figure out what he'd said and how Duo kept it a secret since the first war. Duo ignored the look.

"Since you were uncharacteristically talkative I asked if ya had any happy memories. Guess the Doc never prepared you for personal questions 'cause you told me about a time when you were little and Odin made you soup when you were sick. You insisted it wasn't quite ramen, wasn't really tonkatsu, but whatever it was it made ya feel better. That you felt loved in that moment, and you wished you could taste that soup again."

Heero was suddenly glad for his high fever. There was no way Duo would see him blush when his whole face was already flushed. "How did you figure out the recipe? Not even I knew what it was or how to make it."

For a short moment the braided man looked almost sheepish. He broke eye contact and finished wiping the counter. "Well… I figured if Odin made it himself, he had to learn it somewhere. So I did some digging. Found out he spent time on Earth in Okinawa. And there's a dish called Okinawa Soba that's, well... it's not quite ramen and not quite tonkatsu."

Heero's legs were tiring, and he considered sitting down but a stubborn streak kept him on his feet. "So you looked up recipes? How did you find one so close to his?"

Duo's hands stopped toweling circles on the counter and he hesitated for what felt like an infinitely long pause, subtly biting his lower lip. His eyes never left the counter. "After the first war I didn't really have anywhere to go. And I definitely didn't have any money. Broke as all hell. I might have gone to Okinawa and bummed around, tryin a bunch of restaurants until I found something that matched your description. Then I charmed my way into a job there and learned to make it. You know. Just in case."

Heero felt his heart skip a beat and he desperately wanted to ask "in case of what?" Instead, he cleared his throat with a slight cough and asked "were you pretending not to know how to cook all this time?"

A rich laugh filled the kitchen. "No! Hell no! My skills are rudimentary at best, pal. Food never mattered much to me outside of actually having it because when you grow up never knowing if you'll get another meal you ain't that picky." At some point Duo looked up and met Heero's gaze. "Naw, I just got a handful of things I can actually cook that are anything more than eggs or spaghetti. It helps that the shop I found in Okinawa only made soba and nothin' else. It was good for practice."

"You didn't answer my question. In case of what?"

Duo was confused. "You didn't ask that."

Heero took a moment to think through their conversation. Brain fog from the flu was real. "You're right. I thought it and didn't ask." He shot Duo an intense look. "You learned to make it in case of what, exactly?"

Duo looked uncomfortable and Heero expected him to dodge answering. When he didn't it made Heero feel like maybe things really would be different this time around between them as they rebuilt their trust in one another. "I uh. I wanted to learn to make it in case you ever got sick again." The braided man looked a little pained and it only caused Heero to study him closer. "It seemed, well… like a normal moment I guess. Something a kid who has an adult to care for them might experience. It seemed precious to you and I didn't, you know, want you to never experience that again."

Duo's sincerity hit him like a blow to the gut and knocked the wind out of him. When Heero moved he found his legs suddenly unable to keep him upright. Instead of walking to Duo he diverted to to sitting and was surprised at how heavily he landed in the chair he previously used for stability. The American lost the introspective look on his face. It was replaced with open concern as Heero's physical weakness made itself known. Then Heero whispered "You did all that for me? When we were just 15?"

Pain lanced through Heero as Duo's defensive façade came up. He felt a pang of disappointment with the first words of his answer. "Well it was just me being selfish, really." His mood perked up as Duo continued "When ya told that story your eyes smiled and I wanted to see that again." Duo's lips curled up on one side. "Seems it worked since you're smiling now, too."

That took Heero by surprise, but he only needed half a second to realize Duo was right. He was smiling. A big, full smile.

It wasn't the smile of seeing Duo in the snow or the smile he had when he was overcome with emotion knowing Duo was back. This was the smile of a man who felt loved by someone. A smile the likes of which he hadn't really felt in years.