Note: This chapter includes subjects that may be difficult for some readers. I wrote this months ago at the end of 2021, and now upon editorial re-read it feels like parts of this chapter mirror the most shameful aspects of law enforcement failure that surfaced in the wake of the tragedy in Uvalde, Texas.

I have chosen not to change my story in light of this, as this is fiction. Moreover, my original writing makes very clear my stance on protecting children and the cowardice of failing to do so.

Take care.

Chapter 34: Shuttle Rides

During his mission it was all Duo could do to not think about a certain dark haired man.

He was glad that in spite of his thoughts regularly veering towards Heero he wasn't left feeling like a fool. It wasn't that Heero consumed his thought apropos of nothing. The problem was that this job reminded him of when they were once partners at Preventers, years ago.

Staking out the warehouse reminded him of Heero. Meticulously logging all the comings and goings definitely reminded him of Heero. Seeing kids roughly shoved about by malicious adults mostly reminded him of himself. He did wonder at one point if Heero was the result of this sort of trafficking. After all, Odin Lowe took him in and pretended to be his father as part of a contract. How they ended up with each other, no one knew. Heero had no memories before Odin.

It was strange having something as rare as no name and no past in common with anyone, let alone two of the people closest to him. Before Trowa found his sister he was just as much of a blank slate. After reconnecting with Catherine, Duo watched his friend come into his own. He realized that learning who you once were doesn't change who you are. Trowa was the same person Duo already knew. It didn't matter who any of them were born as, it was the lives they lived that shaped them.

Those personal connections made trafficking missions all the more intense.

Any one of these kids could be him, or Heero, or Trowa. And as much as he cared for his friends, Duo would do everything in his power to prevent these children from becoming like them. The days he spent watching this group, sneaking in and out of their compound, and transferring data to Preventers, were agony. He couldn't sleep for long, worried if he did they'd move the kids out from under his nose. He just wanted to break protocol and rescue every last child. He promised himself that if this disgusting organization made to move any of the kids before Preventers deemed his intel enough he'd take the adults out himself. It was a hard call since he knew how unlikely it would be for every child to make it out alive if he went in alone.

For the first time since taking his current job he felt the position he bargained hard for was working against him. Not only did he have no jurisdiction here, but he wasn't even officially a Preventer. Going into the compound as a vigilante was not off the table but it was risky. All the information he gathered showed the children were fed well enough and kept under lock and key with bare bones but adequate provisions. They were not in any immediate physical danger, though he did see a guard slap a screaming child once or twice. He hated thinking of a few children being hit as acceptable collateral damage.

No part of it was acceptable.

Duo didn't mess around with semantics when it came to abuse. Preventers might argue a slap or two here and there wasn't a big deal, but from experience Duo knew it was only a matter of time before things escalated.

In his opinion it would be an act of kindness to rescue them, even if it put some of the children in greater danger. He hated living in a world where choices like this were put into his hands, but he knew in his bones it was better to rescue as many kids as possible than to let them all live to experience unthinkable abuse.

Every day his frustration grew. Every day Preventers were showing how useless they were. More pictures. More evidence. More more more. On the very first day of this mission Duo felt he produced enough to make a clear cut case to raid the warehouse. On the first day he gained access to cameras inside the building and used them to watch over the children. On the first day he could hear kids crying from fear and confusion. And on the first day, in spite of this evidence, Preventers made no move.

He suspected the top dogs of the operation were wealthy, and that Preventers was treading lightly to not rock boats with powerful monsters. What he couldn't understand was how people above Une's rank, people who were never seen, could wait so long to infiltrate and rescue when each passing hour was more time for the kids to be traumatized.

Duo was double checking his inventory of explosives and firming up his plan to take out the facility by himself when the call came through that Preventers were officially moving in. Though technically under-armed for a mission of this magnitude he couldn't stand one more minute of watching scared children huddled in locked rooms on his laptop. They were safe by technicality only. He wanted them safe for real. His plan involved diversions via carefully timed explosives and keeping the kids in their locked rooms for as long as possible since no one was inside those rooms to guard them. His rescue plan would be loud and noisy on purpose, and the kids would certainly be terrified hearing it without context. But it was well past time to do something.

He didn't care if he was fired or arrested. Someone had to do something. He didn't want to wait for a child to die.

With Preventers minutes away Duo put down his gear and stayed to watch the operation go down, setting up with his sniper rifle just in case anything went wrong. The Preventers squad made quick work of clearing their target. They were surprisingly efficient, which only served to annoy him. The agents were trained professionals and he saw no flaws in their work. It took them under fifteen minutes after entering the building to clear the facility and evacuate the children. The traffickers were caught entirely off guard.

Duo wondered how it could take nearly an entire week to okay a fifteen minute job when children were on the line. Would Preventers have waited if the kids were being physically harmed? Would they stand by and wait as children died just to build a stronger case for the courts? Would Une's bosses take their sweet time issuing orders if their own children were in danger?

As the rescue took place, he used his scope and glanced to his monitor to confirm every child was taken into custody unharmed. With more people and resources they'd done a better job than the plan Duo prepared. But he couldn't shake his anger at command.

Une told him the hold up was in quietly arresting the rich monsters who funded the operation first without tipping off the thugs they hired to traffic the kids. All that meant was they'd been arrested. He hoped it was without bail. Given the opportunity they'd pay for their freedom and disappear, or wait for trial and pay some lawyer to spin their crimes into anything to keep them from prison. Rationally he knew Une was taking her time to build the strongest and most irrefutable case possible, but Duo would've preferred to skip the trial and lock them up for life. He wouldn't say it out loud to very many people, but he also would've preferred skipping trial and executing them all.

He really hated people who hurt children. He couldn't stand them.

As soon as the kids were fully evacuated he packed up and returned to his shuttle. It would be a long flight back to Earth and he wasn't looking forward to being confined so many hours. He hoped that his exhaustion would force him to sleep for the trip back, but instead his mind kept wandering to the kids. The sound of the children crying would be hard to shake. It echoed in his head at random intervals. Spending the shuttle ride thinking about the kids and what their futures held was out of the question.

He didn't want to consider if they had families to return to or if they'd ever get over the trauma they experienced.

He didn't want to think about how hard it would be when adults inevitably expected them to simply re-acclimate to normal life without providing emotional support or therapy.

He didn't want to think about how unlikely it was for any of them who would be sent to group homes or orphanages to receive the care they needed. Even assuming staff had the best of intentions, those facilities by and large weren't equipped to handle the trauma of kidnapping or being sold to the highest bidder.

Duo didn't have the resources to truly save every child, even if he had the ability to spare them from death and free them from one path of abuse. He couldn't ensure them all counseling or even a safe and supportive environment in which to live. And if he kept thinking about that he'd lose himself into an abyss of despair.

So instead of falling into the emotional void he thought begrudgingly of Heero, and how frustrating the man was. Anything was better than thinking about his mission. The kids were safe, and Duo desperately needed to clear his mind. Distraction was one of his best skills, and he was more than capable of pushing out bad thoughts and replacing them with something else. It wouldn't work forever, but it was always a pretty good temporary patch. If he hadn't learned to juggle his emotions he wouldn't have survived his life thus far.

As long as Duo let himself fully feel despair for even a short minute or two, he could pivot to anything else. After days of feeling despair he was more than ready to pivot to Heero as his distraction, even if those thoughts weren't particularly uplifting.

He was pretty sure, after the getaway at Relena's, that Heero just wanted to be friends. The realization was disappointing but not totally a surprise. It was okay that Heero didn't immediately follow him when he first made to leave Relena's. Duo didn't want to ruin the weekend for everyone else and it wasn't like he and Heero were really in the middle of a fight. They had a simple disagreement about Relena, which was depressingly familiar. The only difference was this time Duo didn't stay to make Heero happy, or shut up just to keep peace. This time he followed his gut feeling and did was he felt was needed to make himself happy.

As easy as it would be to blame her, the problem wasn't Relena. It was what happened after Duo decided to stay that hurt most. Heero may as well have screamed I just want to be your friend and nothing more, you baka.

The decision to bunk together was a childish one, made solely to upset Relena and to further prove that he was closer to Heero than she'd ever be. Unfortunately, like many of the decisions Duo made without thinking, it only served to backfire on him.

Heero hardly interacted with him right up until he left on his mission. Duo didn't once catch those blue eyes looking in his direction. Heero didn't skate with him or even volunteer to be on his team for maybe the most pathetic game of hockey ever played. He didn't sit next to him at dinner, either. Any hope Duo had that this behavior was limited to their time in front of Relena, built on an awkwardness after the afternoon's events, vanished when they turned in for the night and Heero quietly asked him "Are you really planning to bunk with me?"

That cut. That was a complete turn off.

He almost backed out, but the thought of Relena finding out they stayed in separate rooms after their heated chat outside was too much. He doubled down on his intentions, and Heero accepted.

But somehow nothing felt right.

Though he had no expectations for any physical interaction in bed, he also didn't expect Heero to lay as far away as possible. He could feel how uncomfortable Heero was with their sleeping arrangement. Tension was thick in the air, making it hard to breathe. Duo was so annoyed and hurt that he pretended to sleep, hoping that Heero would relax in response. But he didn't. They laid like that for hours, Heero not moving a muscle, and Duo pretending to be asleep until he wasn't pretending anymore.

Maybe that was Heero's way of picking sides. Maybe it was his way of saying yeah, Relena took something precious to you and literally threw it into a fire after calling it trash, but I still think you went too far when you said she was a bitch.

Duo pulled on his braid in frustration. How long was his fucking flight? His skin was starting to crawl and he ran his fingernails over his arms. He probably should've been in a flight suit but he didn't care at the moment. Plus he'd never get rid of this itching if he was in a flight suit. The clock on his display informed him his thoughts used up less than one hour of his 14 hour flight and his heart sank. It suddenly felt like his flight would never end.

He tried meditating the way Wufei instructed, and though it felt like it took forever he finally managed to clear his head. He was thankful for the reprieve. When a thought popped into his head out of nowhere he was even more thankful.

Heero didn't really interact with Relena, either.

"Shit," he mumbled, "why am I such a baka?"

Of course Heero wasn't ignoring him or picking Relena's side. He just didn't know what to do and played as neutral a role as he could. Duo was so wrapped up in his own feelings he didn't consider anyone else's. The last several years alone made it easy to forget how to behave with others. While he could still take into account the feelings of others as a third party, when directly involved it appeared he'd accidentally put up blinders.

Another thought popped into his mind. Why did Heero reject the idea of bunking together, and then treat me colder than the vacuum of space?

He figured it out an hour later while idly chewing on a stale ration bar he'd left in his go-bag a few months too long. The answer made him gasp and breathe in the dry biscuit, causing him to immediately choke. By the time he was done coughing and was able to breathe once more he knew two things to be true:

First, the console needed to be wiped down from all the spit and food hacked up onto it.

And second, he was undoubtedly every bit the baka Heero claimed he was.

Heero wasn't being a jerk. Heero was being goddamn perfect. Somehow he'd forgotten the words of reassurance whispered to him in the conference room at HQ, when gorgeous, gentlemanly Heero told him he would wait. Duo pulled at the corners of his memory, tried to skip the part where he nearly got kissed, and went right to the moment after he told Heero things were moving too quickly for his liking. Heero's words came to him all at once.

You set the pace. I'll wait for your command.

Duo groaned and declared to no one "Fuckin… how the fuck could I forget THAT?"

Because you could barely hear anything over the pounding of your heart with him that close to you, Baka.

He let out a long sigh and grumbled in response to himself. "It's not my fault that sonofabitch thinks I'll register anything he's saying when he's so close I can feel his breath on me." The memory sent electricity through his skin. Heero always had a tangible pull that drew him in with force unrivaled by any he'd experienced in his life. Duo was certain every mobile suit ever made couldn't overpower the gravitational pull he felt with the only man he ever really…

Even alone he was compelled to put on a show and pretend not to have time to finish that specific thought. Reaching for the shuttle controls he fiddled with some settings as though they weren't already optimized and sank back into the pilot's seat. Tracing the edge of his flight harness his mind wandered right back to Heero. But this time, Duo wasn't depressed. This time he felt only excitement.

For weeks he'd been every bit the baka Heero claimed he was during the wars.

It was Duo's turn to make a move. Gone was the ridiculous anger he held moments before when he felt Heero spent the last few weeks backing away from him out of waning interest. In its place was warmth. The feeling grew, radiating outward and powering him. He sat upright, the blood in his veins quickening and a rush of adrenaline causing his skin to vibrate with energy. His mind went into overdrive.

Heero Yuy, arguably one of the strongest men alive, a man accustomed to taking the lead in everything he did, turned full control over the progress of their relationship to Duo without hesitation. Heero Yuy, who as Duo's memory supplied was the main aggressor in their original physical relationship, surrendered. He up and surrendered and handed every ounce of control to someone else. To him. Instead of acting on his emotions, instead of succumbing to his desires, instead of taking what he clearly wanted when Duo literally invited himself into his bed, a move so obvious that if they were in a real relationship rather than caught endlessly in the almost-but-not-quite-there stage should have lead to something... instead of taking the lead, he waited for clear verbal consent. Heero proved he wasn't just falling back into old habits because it felt easy. He wasn't trying to jump back into whatever broken relationship they had before.

He waited. He showed self control. He waited for him. He gave Duo all the power because it mattered to him that they get it right this time.

It was the biggest turn on of Duo's life.