Chapter 36: Missed You

It was just before eight when Heero heard a knock at his door. He checked his watch and quickly wiped the kitchen counter before going to greet his visitor. The last person he expected to see was Duo, standing in the hallway clad in black from head to toe. A second after they locked eyes Duo hurriedly reached up to lower the hood of his sweater. He looked anxious as he scratched his head just behind an ear and asked "can I come in?"

When Heero stepped aside his guest brushed past him and came to a halt in the space where the kitchen and living room merged into one. He watched as Duo's strong fingers moved to rub the back of his neck underneath his long braid. It would be obvious to anyone, even a stranger, that Duo was worn out. He left a week ago, and looked like he barely slept since then. He even forgot to remove his shoes. He never forgot to remove his shoes.

Once he shut the door to his apartment Duo immediately turned to him and spoke.

"I have something I need to say." He couldn't recall the last time Duo gave him a look so intense that it froze him in place. "And if I don't say it now I'm not sure when I will."

The last part sent a shock of worry through the him, and it enabled him to move forward and come to meet Duo up close. Trying to hide his nervousness he asked in a gentle tone "What is it?"

"I missed you."

The way Duo hastily blurted out those three words, that wild look still in his eyes, caused his heart to flutter. For all the worrying he did during the past week thinking Duo didn't care about him, for all the time he spent missing his company, it appeared his feelings were reciprocated. The affirmation was as grounding as it was surreal. He allowed himself the smallest smile and replied with affection "I missed you this week, too."

A flash of something crossed Duo's features and he was concerned he may have said something wrong. It was the briefest of reactions but it was very similar to anger. Heero didn't get much time to think about what the fire in those bright violet eyes could mean.

"No, not like that!" Duo took a step forward and Heero shifted to allow space between them. He now had his back to the kitchen island. He quietly watched Duo, who was most definitely upset, pacing directly in front of him. The long, and on further inspection, frazzled braid swung with each quick turn. In short order Duo stopped and let out a breath, which was followed by a sound of pure frustration. He turned again and looked right at Heero with tired eyes. "I missed you. Like I really missed you!"

He knew Duo saw the confusion on his face. He hadn't meant to show it, but there was no going back. Duo immediately let out a long sigh to calm himself before fixing Heero with that intense look again. He swallowed hard as Duo took a slow step forward and trapped him in place. Automatically he reached behind himself and held the edge of his kitchen island with both of free hands, leaning back slightly on the stone. His heart was pounding. Duo was very close and giving him that look he hadn't seen in years. He felt a hand reach up to grasp at his shirt. The feather light contact with his skin sent chills through him.

"I've missed you, Heero. For a long time now." Duo's voice was soft and inviting, barely above a whisper as warmth radiated from his body. They were undeniably close. Heero felt preyed upon and he liked it.

A hand gently traced its way up his chest until the heat of Duo's skin made contact with his exposed neck. A thumb settled by his ear and long fingers gingerly caressed the hair that slightly curled at the base of his skull. He briefly closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensation of fingers laced through wayward locks. Heero made a mental note to cancel seeing his barber. If slightly longer hair gifted him this intimacy he'd never cut it so short again.

His breath quickened as a feeling he remembered from long ago came back to him.

The electricity that ran through his body when Duo became the aggressor between them, cornering him like a hunter, was a thrill he didn't know he'd experience again. He'd never trusted anyone else enough to allow them this type of intimacy. He wasn't usually keen on being vulnerable or handing anyone power.

Instantly his eyes reopened and he fixated them on Duo, who seemed lost in his own actions. In the past he always started with Heero's neck, placing kisses there before moving to claim his lips. He hoped with everything in him that Duo was indeed taking the role of aggressor once more and that this was the green light he'd been impatiently waiting for to rekindle their romance. He spent four years periodically fantasizing about this very thing, and he wanted to see how it played out in real life.

As Duo leaned forward, his breath so close it tickled his skin, cobalt eyes involuntarily shut again. Heero's heart was beating wildly and it didn't seem fair to him how Duo acted so nonchalant. He felt Duo's lips brush up close to his ear alongside the hand that held him, and shivered when another hand slid across his abdomen and came to a stop at his lower back, pulling him slightly closer.

"I hid from everyone for years but it was you I missed most of all. Your company. Your smile." Heero's anticipation was killing him. Duo was certainly taking the role of aggressor, with his face tucked so close Heero could feel soft lips tickle the sensitive skin of his neck with every word. Each time he finished a thought Duo played with his hair, petting and entwining his fingers through it, sometimes giving a slight tug. Haircuts be damned.

"I missed your friendship. How you make me feel. I missed how we fight. How you glare at me when I annoy you. How you always know the way I take every beverage. How we'd quietly work side by side on our computers, you typing one handed and holding my braid with the other. How you never hide your frown when you have my awful cooking." Heero felt Duo gently nuzzle him and his nerves became electric. He shivered again as goosebumps formed on his skin. "I missed everything about you."

When he finished talking Duo tilted his head, and Heero felt those lips brush against his neck at the same spot where fiery kisses began long ago. The heat was unbearable. He was very turned on. He didn't know how cool his skin was until he felt the contrasting heat from Duo hovering so near. A gasp escaped him when the hand behind his back began to dip under his shirt. It sounded loud to his ears, but all of his senses were turned up.

He was very turned on.

As those lips he couldn't stop focusing on made contact and opened slightly to gently kiss and suck at his neck, a knock at the door made Heero's blood run cold.

Duo froze for a moment, waiting to confirm if the sound was meant for Heero or a neighbor. When it happened again he felt Duo smile against his skin before pulling away enough for his patented and rueful grin to be visible. There was disappointment and understanding on his face, and Heero wanted to undo it all and bring back that aggressive and very hot Duo. He wanted to linger under that spell for as long as possible. Unfortunately the magic was broken.

"You cooked. I didn't smell it before but you cooked. You're having guests tonight." Duo's voice was soft and matter of fact, without a hint of jealousy. He sounded resigned and Heero wanted the whole world to go away and leave them be, if only for the rest of the evening. He suppressed a shiver at the sudden lack of heat when Duo pulled away from him and disengaged.

"Stay."

"Heero…"

"It's just the guys. I thought you'd still be out of town or else I'd have invited you. Please. Stay."

He meant every word, and Duo cocked his head a little, giving him a smile that declared he'd already given up on whatever he had in mind when he first came to the apartment. When he didn't hesitate to walk to the door and open it Heero felt a pain in his heart. There was no going back now. No recapturing the moment they just shared.

Quatre and Trowa looked surprised to see Duo at all, let alone to see him answer the door to Heero's apartment. The hopeful smile on Quatre's face made it clear he was still trying hard to gain Duo's good graces. "Are you joining us?"

After the braided man stepped aside to let them in he casually shut the door and then leaned his back onto it. "Nah, I'm heading out soon."

"We'd love to see you."

"Thanks Tro but I really gotta head out. Still need to report in to Une that I'm back."

Trowa gave him a critical look. "Weren't you off planet?"

The mischievous smile on Duo's face coupled with a playful tone in his voice made him look a little less tired. "You're better informed than I thought."

Heero chimed in. "You must be hungry after a long flight." The way he said it gave away how desperately he wanted Duo to stay but he didn't care. It wasn't like Quatre and Trowa were unaware of his feelings. He didn't have anything to hide.

Duo's lip twitched and it was clear he was holding back a genuine smile. "I'm fine, really. Had a ration bar on the flight in, my nutritional needs are met. But I do need to go." His eyes met each of them before he added, "tell Wufei I'm sorry I missed him."

Everyone was quiet after Duo abruptly left. Heero stood still, staring at the door. He continued to feel the emotional aftershocks of Duo's close proximity and was thankful for his loosely fitting casual clothing that likely hid the last vestiges of an erection, though Quatre and Trowa may as well have walked in and thrown a bucket of ice water on him. After a moment stuck in place he retreated into the kitchen to grab the salad and bring it to the dining table. Aqua eyes met green and Trowa spoke first.

"What are you still doing here, Yuy?" When Heero gave him a puzzled look he continued "You should be chasing after him. You did just spend a week miserable and waiting for him to return, yes?"

Heero shook his head, sighing as he grabbed the plates stacked on the table and began to set them out for dinner. Duo must have been awfully preoccupied to miss them earlier. "I am aware I didn't handle that well but I promised him I'd follow his lead."

"So literally follow him."

"Quatre, I can't."

"Didn't he just confirm he was sent off planet?"

"Yes."

Trowa and Quatre looked to each other. Their expressions told Heero they were doing their silent couple's communication. Normally he didn't mind but today, after their interruption, their whole deal annoyed him. It was Quatre who spoke this time.

"He came to see you when he got back."

Trowa immediately added "and he didn't bother checking in with Une. I know he's not officially a Preventer but that's in every way a violation of protocol."

Heero focused on their words. Trowa was right that the very first thing you were supposed to do, the most basic responsibility, was to check in with your superior officer when returning from a mission, especially one requiring an off planet trip. There were ship logs to be entered, reports to be submitted, equipment to be accounted for… you couldn't just land a ship and leave.

"Heero." Quatre's voice was sweet but firm. "If ditching his responsibilities to come directly to see you isn't a declaration of his priorities and intent, I don't know what is."

"If you leave now you can catch him," Trowa suggested.

Heero looked between his two friends and bolted out the door in his socks. He forgot a jacket, and slammed right into someone, calling "sorry!" before running down the hall to the stairwell without looking back.

Seconds later Wufei sauntered into the apartment with a pleased look on his face. "Is this what I think it is? Because I just ran into Duo on the way up and then Heero body checked me as he flew down the hallway." In response to Quatre and Trowa's smiles he lifted his hands and made the type of dramatic and exasperated gesture that would make Duo proud. "It's about goddamn time!"

Outside in the cold, Duo pulled up the hood of his sweater. He took a deep breath of cold late winter air and stuck his hands into his front pockets. After living on earth for so many years he found he quickly tired of the sterilized and controlled atmosphere when traveling off planet. A week in his shuttle and on a colony left him craving nature. He wanted to feel wind again.

To satisfy this craving he left his car at the airfield and took his bike instead. His bike was one of the places where he felt most free. He bought a new one after parting with the Sweepers and returning to Earth four years ago. Before cornering Une about a job he took several weeks off to customize the build, stripping most of the bike's components and upgrading everything down to the matte black finish. There was nothing about the bike he didn't love. When he was alone it felt like family.

But he wasn't in a rush to get back to it.

The idea of creating even more space between himself and Heero simply wasn't appealing. His self-assigned mission to move things along and seduce Heero hadn't gone as planned. Worse, he wasn't even sure he clearly stated his intentions. For all the times he repeated in his head what he needed to say during the last few hours of his flight and the entire way to Heero's door, he promptly forgot most of it once he saw Heero's deep blue eyes.

Hilde told him not to be an idiot. Duo wasn't so sure of his success.

He was a block away from Heero's building when he heard his name being called from behind, and he was halfway turned around when familiar hands grabbed him and spun him the rest of the way. He found himself pulled against a warm chest, with Heero's lips hungrily pressed against his, his tongue firmly asking permission to slip past and explore Duo's mouth.

He automatically responded, allowing Heero to deepen their kiss. It was desperate but not hasty. It felt distinctly tender and caused Duo to momentarily disassociate, his whole being suddenly fiery hot while standing out in the cold, the unique taste of Heero on his tongue. He tilted his head to grant Heero just the right amount of access and was rewarded handsomely until Heero pulled away too quickly.

The same blue eyes that took away all of the words he'd carefully planned now looked afraid. Heero's face was flushed, his hair a mess either from the wind or from eager hands running through the strands. Duo couldn't remember if he'd run his fingers through those dark locks as they kissed. He couldn't remember anything about what his hands were doing. Then Heero began to speak.

"I'm sorry, I promised to-"

He didn't get to finish his thought. Instead, Duo grabbed his shirt with one hand and pulled him forward into another kiss. This time he did register sneaking a hand into Heero's hair as his eyes closed, and they kissed like they had so many times before. The way it made him feel was like no time at all had passed between the last time they tenderly kissed, years ago when their relationship was good, and now. Once again he knew in his bones that if there was time travel, this was it. And the last few years of hurt and loneliness faded into the recesses of his heart.

They pulled apart just enough for their bruised lips to still lightly touch as Duo whispered "Consent granted" before he gave Heero another quick and thorough kiss to seal the deal. He pulled back once more to look into Heero's eyes. They were both breathing heavily, both flushed, and more importantly, both smiling.

"Do you have to go?"

The question was innocent and Heero's voice held a pleading tone that filled Duo's heart with affection. His eyes were so bright, picking up all the street lights and looking like they held every last star in the galaxy. His lips were pink and bruised, slightly parted as wisps of steam escaped with his breath. And his thick hair was more disheveled than normal, brushing against his still flushed cheeks. Duo wasn't sure he'd ever seen Heero look more handsome nor more vulnerable. Heero's arms were wrapped loosely around his waist, and Duo let go of Heero's shirt to pull him into a tight hug.

"I really do. But we'll continue this later, 'kay?"

In response Heero held him closer. "Okay."

With reluctance they finally let each other go after a long hug. Duo lingered a hand on Heero's cheek and leaned forward to touch their foreheads together for a moment before he slipped away and adjusted his hood, which had fallen moments earlier as they kissed. He was still breathing heavily, and walked with a renewed bounce in his step and a smile that wouldn't quit. He looked forward to seeing Heero again. To kissing Heero again. To touching Heero again. And as he saw his bike up ahead he realized with a deep red blush on his face that Heero Yuy ran after him and very publicly kissed him on the street.

More than once.

That answered one of his two questions: Heero was definitely okay with public displays.

Maybe they wouldn't be backsliding into how thing were before. Maybe they were actually starting something new and better. Maybe he wasn't quite as much of an idiot as he thought. Maybe he was right to finally start believing he deserved happiness.