Chapter 37: Joyride

Riding his bike through the city at night was always a good way to clear his head. Something about the speed, the thrum of the motor, the wind whipping his braid along his back as it snaked past his helmet helped him calm his emotions. While he was in hiding he kept his braid tucked away when on his bike in the city, lest anyone spot him. It was a joy to have it out again.

After Heero chased him down, after that kiss, he was having a hard time getting back into the mindset of a secret operative. Une, he decided, could wait a little while longer for him to report in, as it was only a formality to file some paperwork. Agents would've finished on site hours ago and their mission reports would become the official record. Duo's would never see the light of day. Parts of it would be reworked into "anonymous tips."

It was unlikely Une would throw too much of a fit if he waited and reported in tomorrow, especially if he explained why. For all the work she put forward keeping her image as a no-nonsense leader she had an undeniable soft spot for him, and it was time he finally exploited that to his benefit.

He rode aimlessly through the city until exiting on a whim to a highway that ran along country roads through open farmland. Escaping the bright lights of the city was always a welcome detour. In the colonies you couldn't avoid city lights, and if you did you were probably in danger.

On Earth it just meant you were somewhere different.

Duo loved how moonlight illuminated the landscape on a clear night. He loved pulling over and laying in a field and looking up at the night sky almost as much as he loved looking up at the sky during the day. But as he rode farther into the countryside he could tell there was nothing to see at the moment. The sky was cloudy, painting even the treetops with a few extra shades of darkness. He didn't mind.

A darker sky was preferable for his mood. Looking up at beautiful and star filled sky might erupt his emotions in a way he wasn't ready for. This darkness helped keep him in check.

He considered that maybe he should have gone to HQ and wrapped up his case instead of allowing a restless and unnamed emotion to lead him on an aimless journey. Maybe he should have stayed with Heero and attended his dinner party.

The thought made him laugh. Heero Yuy hosting a dinner party would sound absurd to people who didn't know him well. And though Duo might not fully know who Heero was currently, his behavior lined up with the man Duo could always see beneath an outward layer of protection. That he stepped things up and actually cooked for his friends was sweet, and only furthered Duo's desire to get to know who Heero had become in their time apart.

And that kiss.

Every time his mind wandered back to it he felt excitement course through him. He hated himself for waiting so long, for keeping his distance all this time. But the payoff? The payoff was that kiss. It held so much more meaning for him knowing he wasn't rushing foolishly into whatever they would be now.

Heero was worth more than rushing into things. And for the first time in a long while, Duo felt he was worth more than that, too.

Lights up ahead came into view and he pulled over at a small power station attached to a diner. Above the door was a giant and well lit cup of coffee. Since it wasn't too late, he set his bike to charge and went inside. No one would mind if he left it longer than needed while he grabbed a bite to eat. The power station was empty, and there were two more charging stations if anyone showed up.

Inside the diner warm air was the first thing to hit him, followed quickly by the smell of simple, well prepared food. Fried onions, baking bread, and coffee were the main aromatics. Duo looked forward to ordering up a plate of something hearty. Though the ration bar he ate earlier in the day did meet his nutritional needs, it didn't actually fill his stomach.

About a dozen people sat inside at a mix of booths and tables that didn't appear to have rhyme or reason attached to their placement. Duo ordered a beef stew with potato dumplings at the counter and grabbed a table. He avoided booths when possible. They weren't as easy to obtain a tactical advantage with in case of trouble.

While he waited he reflected on his home situation. When he finally arrived there would it feel lonely? Would he miss Heero enough to show up at his place once more, unannounced?

There was no denying his want to see Heero again but the Japanese man would certainly have a long night with his guests, including an inevitable interrogation. Those men were quite pushy and overly involved in each other's lives, but it wasn't a bad thing. Duo thought it charming how they'd banded together, none of them appearing to be self-conscious, at least with each other, about expressing their emotions. To have any support was a precious thing. To have an entire small group to support you was a miracle in Duo's eyes.

It would be easy to use the wars and conditioning from the Doctors as an excuse to remain aloof and cold. One reason Duo tried so hard when they were younger to build friendships between them all was to prevent them from living their lives isolated and in pain. He learned early on, with Solo and the gang, that friendship could heal a great amount of hurt. It didn't matter if it was one friend or many, it only mattered the quality of the connection.

As weeks and months went by and he began to let his guard down again, the initial pain he felt upon realizing the others finally formed the friendships he always wanted for them only after he disappeared mellowed. Instead, he felt an odd happiness. The joy of witnessing their bond was real, but it was diminished slightly by the knowledge that he had a ways to go before he could truly feel like he was one of the group. Finally seeing a path to join them was liberating.

In the meantime he was sure that Wufei was leading he charge in gathering details from Heero about their relationship. For months his vibe with Wufei was shifting, and of everyone he knew he felt in his bones that Wufei was his fiercest advocate. Their conversations were winding and fun, but often also a little serious. And Wufei was patiently helping him make some big decisions in his life, never cornering him to talk and instead weaving threads into their natural conversation.

He tried not to think about it too hard because he usually got a little choked up. It was becoming a struggle not to blurt out how much Wufei's friendship meant to him. Duo wasn't sure why he held back or what caused him to be weary of expressing the depth of his love for a friend, but something always stopped him. One thing he knew was that he loved Wufei fiercely, possibly as much or more than he ever loved Heero, yet those feelings were wildly different.

The idea of kissing Wufei, even as a joke, was gross. Without knowing what a family was like he could only guess that his intense platonic love was similar to brotherhood. Maybe one day he'd care enough about labels to ask someone. In the meantime he was enjoying having someone so steadfastly in his corner. He hoped he succeeded in reciprocating.

Duo smirked as he considered how Wufei would grill Heero for details. What would Heero even say? He wasn't sure if there were any off limits topics between the other Gundam pilots. How open were they all with each other? Did they have lines they did not cross? Would Heero tell them about the kiss, and in what detail?

Duo would die of embarrassment if Heero gave any details at all beyond the fact that they kissed. He felt the intimate details of how he kissed someone should be left only for the few people who experienced it to know. Perhaps more importantly, how would Heero even describe the two of them now that they crossed from rebuilding friendship to rebuilding romance?

Were they dating?

Duo frowned. That was the crux of it, the million dollar question. He didn't know their relationship status, but did it even matter?

As he watched the waitress to return with his meal it occurred to him that he didn't care what he and Heero called themselves. He was older this time around, and labels just weren't overly important to him. What he cared about was whether or not their relationship was honest enough to present the same front in public as in private. No more lying to friends.

But, given Heero's very public display earlier in the evening, it appeared that the biggest problem from their previous relationship was solved. He smiled to himself as he brought a dumpling up to his mouth. This time, he thought, we'll have to find new problems to derail things.

He chuckled at himself. It was high time he learned to stop always considering what could go wrong and instead consider what could go right. For now he was content with his food giving him some energy back and how he could still feel a small rush recalling the way he and Heero kissed.

Long after he finished his meal Duo sat nursing a cup of tea. He was content to stay where he was until the waitress kindly informed patrons still lingering in the dining room that they were closing for the evening. It was midnight, and Duo was feeling good about the future. Returning home was now a welcome thought rather than something to avoid. He scanned his phone at the table's built in POS system, left a tip worth more than his meal, and flashed a bright smile at his server.

Walking into the cold night air he pulled his hood up once more before crossing the short distance to his bike. Even the charging station was closed for the evening, with the lights automatically turned off until morning. As Duo unfastened the cargo straps holding his helmet in place he smiled. Things were looking up.

The ride back to town was peaceful and the countryside was very dark. At times it reminded Duo of the all-encompassing void of space. He loved it. There was a freedom in the void that was familiar and exciting which left him certain he was teetering on the edge of something great.

When the horizon began to lighten he knew the city was waiting for him in the distance. For the first time in years he felt excited to return home. His mind drifted to Heero, and he felt heat rise in his cheeks. Those thoughts drifted to questions like whether he should buy a real bed, and whether one would fit in his home or not. It was a presumptuous and enjoyable line of thought that gave him the energy to put off his exhaustion and make the ride home.

Deciding to take a slightly longer way back, he purposefully missed his first exit and waited to enter the city from his favorite route. The view was spectacular from the 8th street bridge, especially at night. After an evening that left him feeling unusually positive he thought his favorite view would be a fitting way wrap things up. The skyline never disappointed.

Once on the bridge, he looked right. Modern skyscrapers ascended into low lying clouds, and the architectural pride and joy of the city, the art museum, stood lit and austere in the foreground. If he could pull over his bike and drink the view in slowly, he would. Instead, he slowed down in order to linger. Traffic was light and no one would mind.

He then looked left, out of habit, towards headquarters. Something odd caught his eye and he slowed his bike further. The light in Une's office, or what appeared to be Une's office, was on. Duo couldn't shake the feeling something was wrong. She should not be in the building. Not at this late hour.

A vehicle honked at him, jerking him back into the moment. He'd slowed too much and annoyed an impatient driver behind him.

Instinctively he accelerated and steered in the direction of Preventers headquarters. Duo gave a vocal command for his phone to dial Une. Voicemail immediately kicked in before the line even rang, and he felt unease grow in the pit of his stomach. Une was not a woman unreachable. She required 24/7 access. He was certain she picked up his calls once or twice over the years while in bed with someone. Those calls were always awkward, but she handled them like a pro. He was certain her phone would never be off. Especially at the office.

As his bike came to a stop, idling at a light three blocks from HQ, Duo ran through possible scenarios in his head. The likelihood of anything truly being wrong was small. Very small.

But never zero.

At night there was a desk clerk, security, and a skeletal crew on hand for emergencies. He could possibly gain legitimate access to the building if Une was present. His cover involved delivering packages to her, so it wouldn't be impossible for him to make a delivery at any hour so long as she was there. In addition it would be easy to pull off. His jacket, hat, and ID were always in his saddlebag. But he could also be overreacting, still on residual edge from the mission he'd come off.

Some jobs stayed after they were completed, whispering paranoid thoughts into his ears. This could be one of those cases, and Duo could be making himself the fool.

The light changed and he remained in place, thinking. This time vehicles simply went around him as he contemplated what to do. Once his mind was made up, he pulled off the street and dismounted his bike, making quick work of grabbing his gear. He smiled to himself as he switched out his hoodie for the courier's jacket, the cold hitting hard since the jacket wasn't up to temperature. It was just what he needed for another jolt of energy. Once the hoodie was securely stowed away he made certain his braid was hidden, slid his hat and ID into his pocket, and looked at himself in his a side view mirror.

"You're an idiot" he declared into the night, grumbling. "Just a paranoid motherfucker whose gonna be the butt of jokes when Une finds out about this."

Without further hesitation he put his helmet back on and rode the rest of the way towards headquarters' main entrance.