Note: As usual, translations at the end. You don't need them while reading.

Chapter 41: Avoidance

Duo ignored his phone as it vibrated on the coffee table yet again. He didn't know what was worse: the texts from Quatre, or the texts and calls from Une.

He spent the weekend at Heero's getting doted upon to a degree that made him a little uncomfortable. To his initial relief, Heero never confessed his love directly to him again and went right back to showing how he felt through his actions. That was good, until it wasn't.

Sleeping in late and spending Saturday together was nice. The contrast between his years alone dealing with injuries and being with Heero was immeasurable. He didn't need to keep track of pain meds because Heero was on that. There was no struggle to fix his hair because Heero brushed and braided it for him. He didn't have to think about meals. Heero thought of everything, and it made him feel a little helpless. It was nice to know someone else was making decisions and he could relax.

By late Sunday afternoon the self-sufficiency he prided himself on was stripped away and he was irritable. Everything came to a head shortly after Heero unexpectedly announced he planned to take Monday off work to stay with him.

Duo was tired of being treated like he couldn't care for himself. Heero wasn't trying to annoy him but his constant attentiveness was becoming infuriating. Even when they were in the same room doing different things Heero was obsessively attentive, right down to scooping up his empty water glass for a refill the second after he put it down. It was sweet and cute to be so well cared for until he wanted to do simple tasks and was met with resistance.

"I can get up and grab a drink from the kitchen myself!"

Duo was standing in front of the fridge after snatching his cup back from Heero, angrily refilling the glass while Heero looked on quietly. Water spilled onto his hand as he poured from a large pitcher, his depth of field compromised by one swollen eye. A few drops made it to the floor.

"You should be resting."

"I rested yesterday so let me take care of myself! I'm a grown up, you know?"

Heero frowned and approached him, calmly taking the cup and walking back into the living room where he put it down next to the sofa. It was a passive aggressive move to encourage Duo to go back to sitting and they both knew it. He crossed his arms. "You can barely see from that left eye of yours, and you need to get that gash looked at by a doctor."

"What I need is for you to stop telling me what to do."

"You don't know your limits."

Duo could feel his blood pressure rising. His face was getting warm and his heart was pounding. He turned to put the pitcher back into Heero's fridge, letting the cool air from inside hit his face before turning around to say "Don't you fucking tell me I don't know my limits when you won't even let me test them because you're hovering over me constantly."

"I'm helping."

"You're annoying!"

Heero's frown deepened. "Getting worked up isn't going to aid your recovery. You should lie down.

Through clenched teeth Duo ground out "I don't want to lie down!"

"It would be best."

"Heero!" Violet eyes blazed. Even the eye that was partially swollen shut was fiery and alive. "Will you just stop it? Stop telling me what to do. Can you give me some goddamn autonomy?"

With a grunt Heero shifted his stance, leaned more of his weight to one side, and stated "Someone needs to look after you."

Duo threw his hands in the air, refusing to wince at the pain the gesture caused. He wouldn't give Heero that satisfaction. "For fuck's sake, 'Ro! I can look after me! I can do all this simple crap! I've been doing it on my own for years!"

Heero was nonplussed. "You're an awful patient."

"And you're a shit nurse!"

The tension between them didn't ease when Duo's phone buzzed again from the general area of he couch. Duo looked as furious as he could with his eye swollen. Heero just stared at him, unreadable. When he spoke there was an edge to his voice, daring Duo.

"You gonna get that?"

"No!"

"You say you can do everything yourself, but you can't even answer a phone."

The way Heero spoke made it obvious he knew his words would cut. Duo snapped. Both his hands clenched into fists, even though it hurt from his bruising. He felt a primal need to scream in frustration take over. Not wanting to direct it at Heero, he looked to ceiling and loudly yelled "¡Cállate, por favor!" It released some of his anger, and when he looked back at Heero his fists unclenched. He shook his head. "I don't want to get that, there's a difference! Why can't you just understand where I'm coming from?"

Heero approached and Duo bristled, becoming tense when they stood close to one another. His heart raced, mostly from frustration and partially from excitement when Heero raised a hand and ran it through his bangs. Gently he guided some of Duo's hair until it rested behind his ear, no longer obscuring his injury. His voice was soft when he spoke, tender and open. His demeanor completely different from just seconds before.

"I spent four years answering every call I got hoping it was you, and terrified it was someone calling to tell me you'd died. That's where I'm coming from. When you finally returned, alive, I thought that fear would leave me." Heero's hand lingered at his ear and his thumb gently brushed across his bruise. Duo did not flinch. He realized in that moment that Heero's expression wasn't unreadable. It was sadness and longing.

"But I still answered every call," his voice dipped into a whisper "and then you really called in the middle of the night. Do you have any idea what that did to me? After where I'm coming from on this?"

All the fight drained from him and Duo took a moment to drink in the image of Heero. He wanted to remember how he looked, and try his best to never put that expression on his face again.

"I think," Duo said in a whisper to match, "that we should spend the rest of the day on the couch together. And you shouldn't jump up to help me if I'm going to the bathroom because that's overkill. But I'll let you refill my cup and grab the pain meds I left in the other room. And when we order in for dinner, you can get the door. And you'll actually go to work tomorrow" he saw Heero's face darken "while I visit Sally."

Heero's expression shifted to confusion. Knowing it was because he refused multiple times to see a doctor, Duo clarified, tugging a little on the front of Heero's shirt to bring him a smidge closer. "Because I don't want you to worry. That's the last thing I want. After where you're coming from and all."

Tension visibly released from Heero's shoulders. "How will you get there?"

"We're in a city. You know I can call a ride service, yeah?"

Duo's phone buzzed again.

This time when Heero asked "You gonna get that?" he smiled, his tone teasing.

A lop-sided grin spread over Duo's face. "Not a chance."

Monday morning when Heero insisted on driving him to the hospital to see Sally, Duo felt it showed a lack of trust. But he didn't complain, because Heero promised not to call him during the day. He figured it was a fair trade, since he hadn't told Heero of his plans. He would go home after his checkup rather than back to Heero's place. At least for a while.

Sally, meanwhile, was effortless to be around. She doted on him as a doctor but knew him well enough to keep it very casual. "You're an idiot, Maxwell. I can't stitch this nearly 3 days after you were hurt. Did you con Heero into going along with your half-brained scheme to avoid medical attention?" Her words were a little harsh, but she was smiling.

"Honestly? I was just too tired. I've no reason to avoid doctors if you're the doctor I'm seeing."

She playfully gave him a light slap to the back of the head. "Idiot, then."

"Aw, don't be like that, Sal!"

"You think you're not an idiot? After what Wufei told me…"

"I'm resourceful."

"You're a fool."

"But you still like me."

She scrutinized him. "Yeah, I do. But your little foray into superhero status earned you a brunch, to be determined."

"Sal!"

She glared at him. "You nearly die diffusing the mother of all bombs and you have the nerve to tell me I'm out of line demanding a brunch? What? Not dangerous enough for you?" She was still joking, but he could see in her eyes how upset she was.

He deflated. "Okay. Brunch."

She perked up and gestured to his face. "And how are you taking care of that shiner?"

Now he felt like a child being scolded. "No double or blurry vision, warm washcloth on it four times a day, and I check for blood in the eye every time, Mom."

"That's Doctor Mom to you."

He suppressed a laugh. "Doctor Mom it is."

Sally gently took his hand, and rolled up his sleeve to expose the deep bruising on his arm. "I take it this is bilateral?"

"Yep."

She touched it gently before gradually applying pressure. "Tell me when it hurts." When Duo remained silent she shot him an annoyed look. "You're a terrible patient."

"You sound like Heero."

Sally let go of his arm and repeated the process on the other one. Then she began to enter things into her tablet. Duo rolled down his sleeves and played with the end of his braid while he waited for her. Eventually she looked up, tablet still in hand, and read from his chart.

"Mateo" she raised her eyebrows and glanced at him "McCormack?" Duo shrugged. "We're using this name today?"

"That's the name witnesses know me as."

She gave him a knowing look. "Non-compliant patient."

"Hey!"

She put down the tablet. "But you're good to go. You didn't lose consciousness when you were hit in the head, there's no swelling around that gash you neglected and you're keeping it clean. You described no significant blunt force trauma, your arms are badly bruised but your range of motion is intact. Feel free to assure Heero you don't present with anything I'd run scans for."

"So I can go?"

"After you give me a hug."

He couldn't help the smile creeping onto his face as he stood up. "Is that medical protocol?"

Sally stepped forward, her arms encircling Duo. He hugged her back and melted into the embrace. She smelled nice, and her hug felt like love. When he thought she'd pull away she held him a little tighter. "I'm so glad you're okay, Duo." He swallowed hard and tried to suppress a strong wave of emotion. Sally gave him a kiss on his cheek before releasing him. "Promise me you'll rest and recover."

There was no chance he could deny her. "Okay. Promise."

"And if anything changes… new swelling, dizziness, loss of mobility…"

"I'll call ya."

"Day or night, Maxwell! You have my number. Use it!"

He took in the sight of her, serious and compassionate all at once. Wufei was a lucky guy. Normally he'd be scrutinizing any woman to make sure she was good enough for his friend. With Sally that was never a problem. His friend wasn't lucky because he landed a woman who was pretty, or because she was a doctor, or because she was respected in her field. He was lucky because when she told Duo to call day or night she meant it with every fiber of her being. If Sally cared about you, she followed through to the ends of the earth. Wufei was a lucky guy because when Sally loved someone she loved them fully.

Duo knew he needed to learn how to accept care again. He had to grow into accepting love again.

He didn't know how long it would take, but he'd work on it.

He had 18 missed calls and 23 unread texts by the time he got home. While he could ignore some, Duo couldn't ignore Une without consequence. Her latest message was more threatening than the previous six from her.

If you don't meet me to debrief you're risking your employment. I really need to see you. Please, Duo.

It was the "please" that sent him spiraling. He had time until Heero was off shift and would be calling, and that meant 4 hours to fall into seemingly endless despair and one hour to bring himself out of it enough to keep Heero thinking he was okay. It wouldn't be fair to drag Heero into how he felt. Or at least that's what Duo thought.

He didn't want to leave his couch. He didn't want to see anyone. He kind of wanted to rocket himself into the vacuum of space and disappear. He hated himself. The underlying hate was easy to hide, but the sharp and piercing hate took part of him every time it struck.

He was a monster. He was unworthy of affection. Everyone would be better off without him.

He could disappear like before, and run from consequences until everything blew over. The only thing stopping him was Heero. He couldn't hurt Heero like that. A small voice in his head reminded him he couldn't hurt Wufei like that, either. When the voice also quietly supplied that he couldn't hurt Sally, he gave up the fantasy of running away completely.

To lose the fantasy sank him deeper. He was so tired of people, and of pretending.

But Une said "please" and something about that made him read the text in her sweetest, and most sincere tone. He knew if he gave himself time to gather enough courage to face her he'd get nothing done. Instead, he counted to ten and dialed her number. She answered quickly.

"Duo! Where are you?"

Her voice sounded off, and he chose to ignore that to the best of his ability.

"I'm not coming to see you. Let's do this on the phone."

He knew his tone was deadpan, but he felt defeated and had no energy to pretend things were okay. It wasn't like he could fool Une, anyway. In turn her voice softened, mimicking the quality his imagination assigned to that "please" in her text.

"I'm just glad you called. We need to talk about what happened."

"I know."

"There's a lot we need to discuss."

"I know."

"Sally's report was a relief. She says you'll heal well on your own."

"I know."

"Duo. Please say something else."

He felt his stomach drop. There was that "please" again. He wondered if she knew the power it held over him. At this point he suspected she knew a lot of things about him he tried to hide from her. Placing his phone on the table in front of him he held his head in his hands. There were only two things he needed to ask.

"How are you feeling?" he whispered, followed by "Are you home yet, or still in the hospital?"

The silence between them was heavy.

"Home. Mariemaia took a week off school to be here even though I told her not to. She arrives in a few hours. Nico flew back from visiting his brother and won't let me out of his sight. He's a little too doting, in my opinion."

Duo grimaced. He didn't want to be reminded of his fight with Heero. Une didn't give him much time to wallow, and instead continued "It's sweet, but I might need a divorce if he doesn't back off a little. Good thing is he knows to leave the room when I'm on a Preventers call, so you might be saving my marriage." She meant it as a joke, but he didn't react. She paused before adding with gravity in her voice, managing that intensity even with her speech a little less clear than usual, "I'll be okay. You made sure of that."

"I didn't do shit for you."

"Duo… without you…" She sighed. "Please stop beating yourself up over what happened."

He broke at that "please" and recoiled at her wording. She probably didn't realize what she said. He clenched his hands into fists, holding one to his chest as he tried to control his breathing. The things this woman did to him made him want to scream sometimes. But that was all a distraction. He'd have to get to the elephant in the room eventually. Taking his time, he breathed in deeply and hung his head low. Une waited patiently.

"I really fucked up."

In response she whispered, "I know."

TRANSLATION FOOTNOTES

¡Cállate, por favor! - Basically translates to "shut up, please!" in Spanish.