Note: Thought you might want to know that any songs I mention by name in this story are real songs you can listen to. Midnight Rain is the final track performed by the exceptional Masayo Ishigure on her album, Grace (2001)

Chapter 45: Ostinato

Heero almost canceled his koto lesson. Again.

Even with Duo starting to open up, he felt uneasy choosing to spend time away from his baka. Things never seemed to settle back down with him, and he'd still catch a look in Duo's eyes when he didn't realize he was being watched that spoke to secrets and pain. Worse, a mission took him abroad for five days. Trowa assured him while they were away that Duo would be okay, but it did little to alleviate his worry. Upon his arrival home he couldn't imagine voluntarily spending even less time with Duo.

Koto could wait. His questions for Duo could wait. His baka deserved a little more time to start talking on his own again.

So when Duo said Wufei was taking him to check out a martial arts studio and he wouldn't be coming over, Heero grabbed his koto and headed out. It wasn't abandoning Duo if he'd made his own plans elsewhere. And if he was with Wufei there was no doubt Duo would be safe and sound. They were probably catching a movie or grabbing dinner after a quick tour of Dragon Kwoon. Wufei loved showing his friends where he trained, and it was surprising he'd not taken Duo sooner.

Hopefully Wufei could get his partner to relax a bit. If he was really lucky maybe Duo would even start acknowledging Quatre's calls and texts. He didn't want to push Duo into forgiving anyone, but it would make everyone's lives easier if he'd stop ghosting one of their own, especially when Heero was dodging mention of a certain event Quatre was planning. He dreaded informing Duo that their company was requested at Quatre's home in a few weeks. The longer he put it off, the more chances he had for someone else, like Wufei, to ease Duo into the idea of everyone getting together again.

As far as Heero was concerned, tonight would be excellent for both of them. Spending an evening with a friend was very different from a quick lunch and it would be greatly beneficial Duo to cut loose. For Heero, going to his lessons always grounded him. He missed talking with his teacher and playing his koto. He was still too shy to play when Duo might hear, and after the incident at HQ Duo's increased time at his apartment meant he never got a chance to play.

There was nothing to worry about, except for disappointing Keiko.

He felt guilty he was only keeping up with half his lessons since December and hoped she would understand. His attendance was never perfect because of work, but he'd also never dropped out of contact before. Not like he had recently. It wasn't his style to blow off his commitments. He was always so responsible, and it bothered him how irresponsible he was being. Good excuses or not, he should've been more on top of things. His teacher was patient and kind and she deserved better communication.

Keiko, thankfully, was as forgiving as ever.

She ushered him inside with an expression on her face he was seeing more of lately but wasn't yet able to pin down. He quietly set up his instrument while she prepared tea. There was never a time he arrived for a lesson and it wasn't accompanied by tea. The familiarity of the ritual was one of many small but pleasant aspects of being her student. She welcomed him into her home like an old friend, even on the day they met. He rarely saw students other than her granddaughter in attendance. Keiko was retired, and prided herself in teaching only students she claimed had a melody in their souls.

He wasn't sure what to make of that, but he did know it was high praise.

This time her granddaughter wasn't there. She'd gone on a trip with her parents, so the two of them weaved through his lesson with the added ease of one on one instruction. There were a handful of times since he hired her as a teacher that it was just the two of them. He enjoyed those lessons, but this time that new and knowing look in Keiko's eyes only intensified. He wasn't sure what it meant, but it didn't impact how she taught.

He needed to run through a few simple songs to get the feeling of playing back. Not only was he missing lessons but he wasn't practicing often, especially with Duo spending so much time at his apartment. It was his fault, really. To his dismay he'd become clingy and unwilling to spend too much time apart. He didn't begin to break this behavior until Duo finally acknowledged what was bothering him. Once his feelings were out in the open it seemed a lot more like they could become grounded as a couple again. He didn't need to hover because he knew, in that moment, Duo was returning to him. That was why when he received a text to say Duo would be out with Wufei, he didn't hesitate to finally keep his own standing commitment.

In Heero's opinion one of their strongest qualities as a couple was their willingness to let one another have lives outside of being together. He knew they'd messed that up the first time around, but after reconnecting they handled it differently. There was no jealousy. No hiding from friends. It felt healthy and right.

"Your form's coming back quickly. That's a good sign you haven't lost your skills."

Though it was a compliment Keiko's words cut him with guilt. He had to stop neglecting his hobby and put in the work to maintain that individuality he struggled to achieve.

"Do you remember Midnight Rain?"

"Of course. You made a solo arrangement for me because you wanted me to play it on my own. I couldn't forget Midnight Rain if I wanted to."

She smiled, and Heero realized it was mischief and certainty that danced in her eyes since she opened the door.

"Play it for me."

The command was softly spoken, and though he loved the piece he was even more excited to play it than usual. Heero was glad she requested the song. When he first learned it they played as a duet, but as soon as he was able to play the song through she surprised him with a solo arrangement. He was caught off guard and moved. She put effort into writing the musical arrangement for him and it was quite touching. He wouldn't forget what she said to him as she handed over the music. "I think this is your song, my dear." He couldn't remember the last time he played it for her. Almost a year ago?

As he prepared himself to play he could feel vibration across his skin. The song was on his mind lately, and for Keiko to request it felt right. It felt like pieces were falling into place. His hands hovered in position, anticipating what would come next from his muscle memory. He played the song so many times that revisiting it felt like coming home.

Keiko listened intently. The opening, with a rush of notes breathing through scales like a gust of wind, was followed by quiet picking up and down. Notes rose and fell, gradually building in volume like its namesake. The beautiful and growing sound of rain, starting as a few drops and turning into a full shower, was unmistakable. Heero was in his own world as he played, his eyes closed. The song progressed forward, and drifted into more poignant melodies before fading back into the steady sound of rainfall.

His fingers slowly came to a halt, still in place above the strings. The resonance of his notes remained in the room though it was quiet. Then, a burst of notes, quick and purposeful. His hands deftly moved once more, the sound enveloping her home, dropping low and slow before coming back with urgency. Midnight Rain would oscillate like this for its remainder, balancing a sweet and steady rhythm with sudden crescendos and melodic shifts that beautifully complimented the underlying current but also stood on their own.

As the last notes played, individually up the scale until a two soft chords closed it out, Keiko struggled to hold back her emotions. She intended to wait for Heero to open his eyes once more, but she couldn't and instead blurted out "Oh my goodness! Heero! When did that young man move back? Was it four months ago? I knew something was different!"

His eyes shot open and his body froze. Her words replaced all the serenity he felt after playing with full on panic. How could Keiko know? In the few times he spoke of Duo he redacted names out of habit and never gave too much detail. Slowly his arms and hands relaxed.

"You… you know about him?"

A smile crept onto Keiko's face and Heero suddenly felt very out-maneuvered. "Please, it's quite clear to me you've been hung up on him for years. You may have never said his name, but when you talk about him your playing becomes so beautiful and sincere."

Something in her eyes reminded him of Quatre with the Zero System and in his bones he knew he was about to find out he'd been played.

"I gathered from contextual clues and a few pointed questions of my own that something about rain triggered memories of love for you. What a joy it was so see your playing come alive when our lessons were accented by the sounds of rain outside." Her eyes were bright as she revealed her secrets. "Heero, I chose that song because I thought it would bring out the best in your performance. Every crumb of information you volunteered lead me to believe that this song is the song for you to express what's in your heart. But you never played it quite this well. I have goosebumps!"

Keiko traced a hand along one of her arms as an emphasis. "You wouldn't be playing like this unless he came back. I've been hoping this day would come for nearly two years!"

Heero was petrified. "Am I that obvious?"

He waited for her reply anxiously. This revelation was like discovering someone was spying on you, or your apartment was bugged. Except Keiko managed to bug the emotions he held dear to his heart, the very same ones he didn't want others outside of his closest circle to see. He definitely did not have the upper hand. To him she was always a sweet and feisty music teacher who charmed him into helping out with her garden. It never occurred to him that Keiko would be keen eyed and enthusiastic in matters of the heart, particularly his heart.

"Heero my dear, it's AC 208. I may play and teach antiquated and traditional instruments. I may have décor that predates space exploration. I may even have old fashioned views that love is love. But I'm a modern woman. I can pick up on cues, and I can tell when it's time to celebrate and try The Frozen Olympus with a friend while he tells me all about his recent happiness."

He blinked, processing her words.

"The Frozen Olympus?"

"Yes! It is the latest culinary creation by a very innovative pastry chef with a shop located on 9th street and my beautiful but unsophisticated granddaughter is absolutely not the person to share it with." When he shot her a critical look she waved a dismissive hand and declared "she eats Laser Bites, my dear. Laser Bites! The girl has the taste of a child!"

He couldn't help smiling. "She is a child."

Keiko whirled through her kitchen and returned with a small but very fancy looking frozen dessert. "Exactly!"

They didn't practice koto for the rest of his lesson. Instead they finished the dessert before it melted and Keiko asked for all the details pertaining to Heero's happiness. Though he left certain confidential items out, the emotional core to his story was true. He even dared to express his hopes for the future. Keiko was engaged through the whole tale. Her voice was firm when she finally spoke.

"You should play for him."

Heero raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Play your koto for him. Does he even know you play?"

He cleared his throat and shifted, a bit embarrassed by the truth. The last thing he wanted was for Keiko to think he was purposefully hiding his hobby, or that he didn't value her teaching enough to talk about it. "No. And though he's sneaky he's got boundaries so he's never snooped at my place. If he saw the case he'd absolutely have questions."

To his complete surprise Keiko wasn't disappointed, she was ecstatic. "Brilliant! Surprise him and play for him. Heero… your tone is beautiful. When you play all those walls you built around yourself that I know are there but we never talk about come down. It's truly a sight to behold. Midnight Rain is your song for him, dear." She raised a hand and held it to her chest over her heart, lightly tapping her fingers twice. "Gift him that window to your heart."

He swallowed. "And if I'm not ready?"

"You'll know when you are."

"And if he's not ready?"

Her eyes softened. "You'll know when he's ready. But even if you don't, if he's not head over heels in love with you he will be by the time you finish playing."

Heero wasn't sure what to make of her. "You're quite the romantic, aren't you?"

She laughed, the sound was light, sweet, and inviting. "That's rich after everything you said. You may be the most romantic person I've ever known, all starry-eyed and optimistic for tomorrow." His eyes widened and she laughed again, a little louder. After she pulled herself together she winked at him. "Don't worry. I'll cover for you."

"You better not—"

"Tell anyone? Yeah, yeah. I got it. Who would I tell, anyway? This all stays between you, me, and the Frozen Olympus."

Heero grinned. Keiko was a woman of principle, not even her granddaughter would hear a word if she promised secrecy. It felt good to have another person with whom he could let his guard down. Even so, he couldn't let her have all the fun. "You know it tasted just like Laser Bites." It wasn't a question.

She leaned forward and held a finger up to her lips.

"Don't tell my granddaughter, and we'll both have big secrets to keep."