NOTE: A reminder that there will occasionally be phrases used by characters that are not spoken in English. I've written it to flow with context, and recommend waiting until the end to get those translations if you need them.

Chapter 53: Linguistics

The living room was quiet. Heero, Trowa, and Wufei abandoned the dining table and took up residence elsewhere, waiting with unease to find out if Duo and Quatre could make amends and see eye to eye. No one knew what to say in the meantime. Trowa wasn't making eye contact and Heero was dividing his gaze between his two friends and the doorway they expected the others to eventually come through.

After a few minutes of this, Wufei became impatient.

"They're not going to kill each other, just relax."

Trowa shot him a harsh look from where he was seated.

"You know I'm right, don't give me that look, Trowa."

"He's just worried."

Wufei focused on Heero. "About what? What's the worst that could happen? They'll argue and we're all right where we were before. They're not going to throw punches."

Trowa mumbled something and Wufei, annoyed, asked him to repeat himself.

"You don't have as much riding on this."

Shaking his head, Wufei walked towards a large window. How could it be such a lovely day out there when inside everyone was miserable? A few moments later he heard footsteps and turned back towards the room. Quatre and Duo were entering, with the blonde man taking a seat on the arm of Trowa's chair and Duo walking to Heero, squeezing his shoulder, and standing not far off to lean against a wall. Neither looked happy, and Wufei wanted to know why.

"What happened?"

Quatre shot Duo a cold look and sharply replied "Nothing. He just thinks he can get away with asking for anything because he's got everyone else wrapped around his finger."

Wufei immediately caught Duo's eyes rolling. He looked emotionally exhausted. Duo crossed his arms and stated in a strong and assertive voice "Never claimed to be innocent!"

"You sure play it up and take advantage of it!"

Tension escalated between them, with Trowa and Heero not knowing how to react. Quatre didn't give them long to digest the latest argument. He gestured towards Duo and asked "You know he's been lying to us for years, too?"

Duo bristled. "I'm not a liar!"

"You understood me when I was speaking in Arabic! Two wars and twelve years and you never once bothered to tell me you understood a language I grew up speaking. I know I'm bilingual but come on!"

"It didn't matter."

Quatre was livid. "Of course it matters! It's a big deal!"

Duo's demeanor shifted. He went from angry to amused in no time flat. "It's not that hard to learn conversational Arabic, and it's not like I remember much now anyway. Just the curses. Just enough to know how filthy your mouth is, Mr Perfect Manners."

Quatre was seething and adjusted his perch on Trowa's chair. Instead of taking Duo's bait he demanded "Tell that to Trowa, he's barely picked up anything in Arabic in the years we've been together!"

Duo's wide grin faltered for a fraction of a second before violet eyes flashed with decision and he turned to Trowa, casually drawling in French "Mon tabarnak! Ne l'avez-vous pas encore appris?"

A disbelieving look took over Trowa's face as the room went quiet. No one seemed to know how to react. Trowa looked puzzled above all else. "When did you learn French? And in what dialect? I didn't fully follow… Mon tabarnak?"

Wufei noticed Duo's grin faltered again for a moment as he seemed to process what Trowa was asking. He thought his friend looked like he regretted what he'd done, but then suddenly chose to double down and go with it.

"Oh, uh… yeah!" He quickly recovered and was back to full on smiling. Wufei was not oblivious to how the carefree attitude he liked to hide behind covered whatever bothered him seconds before. "For us on L2 that substitutes various uses of 'fuck' as a negative exclamation, since our French ain't quite like yours."

Trowa couldn't help a smile as his brow furrowed. "Your French? On L2?"

Duo gave him a funny look like he'd asked a stupid question and replied with ease "Whaddya mean?" He looked between the other Gundam pilots and their similar expressions clued him in. Even Quatre was puzzled instead of angry. It appeared he had everyone's attention. "Wait. Do none of you know anything about L2? Really?"

It was Wufei who asked the obvious question. "Why does L2 have to do with knowing French?"

"So…" Duo began, "I'll take that as a no?"

Heero remained quiet while Wufei shifted a bit impatiently before answering. "It's economically disadvantaged and the crime rate is high. It's an American colony cluster and Preventers haven't been welcome much."

Duo lit up and Heero recognized it as the same expression he got when excitedly discussing technical information. "Yes! Okay, that's… well that's very rough and basic but it's a start. Yeah, we're an American colony. Specifically a North American colony. So our official language is…?"

"English?"

His grin turned lop-sided as he pointed at his Chinese friend. "Nope! For political reasons and probably cultural ones too, we've got three official languages: English, Spanish, and French. But as Trowa noted, our French is a little different from his. Hell, you should hear the street talk that weaves between all three. It's a blast to listen to, though I never spoke it much myself."

Trowa eyed him strangely. "So you spoke French before the war?"

"Well yeah, though not overly proper and not with a full adult vocab." Duo looked nonplussed. "If you're able to keep track it's really useful to know all three on L2. Especially if you're gonna be stealing and pleading innocence if caught. Folks are more sympathetic when they understand you and think you're one of them. But only the kids on the street combine 'em. You know. Since we all started out from different places, usually speaking just the one."

"I've heard you speak a little Spanish before, are you fluent?"

"¡Por supuesto! Hablo español como si pilotara un Gundam." When Trowa just looked at him, confused, he clarified "Of course, Tro. I think it was my first language, maybe? Not really sure."

Heero couldn't hold back and interjected himself into the conversation. "What do you mean you're not sure? You don't know your first language?" The subtle discomfort on his partner's face gave him pause as though he'd said something wrong, but whatever discomfort was there got covered quickly. Heero wasn't sure if it was a good or bad sign that Duo was hiding his feelings.

"I don't really remember much of anything before meeting this kid, Solo. But according to him I didn't really talk much the first few weeks his gang took me in. He spoke mostly Spanish and would talk to me in that. He'd keep trying to explain the little bit of food he'd give me was just for me but I kept trying to split it with him. So he never really knew if I understood him. Eventually I just picked up on the word sólo and started calling him that thinkin' it was his name."

Quatre interrupted in a deadpan voice. "Your name is Duo, and you knew someone named Solo? Real original."

Duo shot him a glare. "Well yeah, actually. It is original. I made both up. Wasn't really his name but it's what I called him. Since Spanish was his first language that's what we used together. But like I said, you grow up on the streets in a mixed gang of kids and you're gonna pick up at least some of all three."

"Shouldn't you be called Dos, then?"

Duo laughed brightly at Quatre's remark and the way he spat out the words. Heero and Wufei each noted there was something sincere and painful in his laugh. "That's too… numerical. I figured if he's always with me in spirit, my life would play out like a duet. In Spanish it would be Dúo."

Trowa spoke softly. "I had no idea L2 had three languages in use."

Duo rolled his eyes again and gave him an annoyed and warning look. "You're all lousy terrorists, or rebels, or whatever term they call us Gundam pilots nowadays. Didn't bother doing background checks on your fellow pilots back in the war?"

Wufei huffed and crossed his arms. "There wouldn't be anything to find on most of us."

Duo grabbed the end of his braid and twirled it in his hand. "Sure but you can learn a lot about someone from the place they're from. Frankly I was a bit surprised you all spoke English with me. Operating on the assumption that the American wouldn't learn anything other than English? Because that's some pre-colony bullshit right there. Prof G had me learnin what he called your 'primary languages' in my free time from the day I told him I would be his Gundam pilot. Took me until Meteor actually happened to realize he was lyin and testing my dedication. Ended up bein almost three years of wasted effort. But at least it was useful with the Sweepers. That crew's got about 15 languages onboard at any given time." He chuckled darkly. "Thanks to them I can say greetings and curses a whole bunch of ways."

Apprehension flashed in Heero's eyes. He began to feel a bit ill. It surprised him that he found his voice at all.

"You learned… all… of our languages?"

Annoyance was clear in the American's tone when he responded "Well yeah, kinda. They didn't have data on Trowa's so maybe I just lucked out with that one?"

Trowa wore a bemused smile. "I don't know what my first language is, either. The mercenaries who took me in used mostly English as a bridge but spoke several languages amongst themselves. Cathy was the one who made sure I knew French. She says our mother was French, but I suspect that's only partially true." His smile turned a bit rueful. "It could've just as easily been a grandparent or great grandparent. Might be a heritage thing more than something she actively identified with. Seems like Cathy wanted to hold onto memories of a mother who died too young, and one of the few things she had was a vague memory of our mother saying she had French heritage. For all I know it's just an incorrect memory she made up for comfort."

Quatre turned to Trowa, shocked. "How did I not know this?"

Green eyes softened when they met Quatre's. "You never asked, love."

"So French isn't Cathy's first language?"

Trowa turned back to Duo. "No, it's not. But she learned it young because it helped her feel closer to our mother's memory, and then she made it her mission to make sure I was fluent." His smile faltered a little. "I don't really consider myself French. I don't consider myself much of anything when it comes to nationality or ethnicity. If I had to label it, I'd say I'm the product of the mercenary group I was raised by and I'm a mix of everything they were."

Duo grinned and raised a hand in approval. "Amen to that!"

With a renewed smile, Trowa continued. "They taught me a lot of customs from their own backgrounds. But it makes Cathy happy when I play along with her fantasy. For her I put the hours in and became mostly fluent in French."

Wufei smiled. "You're such a softie when it comes to her." Trowa blushed and dropped eye contact. It was usually satisfying for Wufei when he had the chance to embarrass him. It happened rarely, and was always tied to something sentimental. He nodded to Duo and asked "So do you know any Cantonese?"

Duo raised a hand to rub the skin behind his neck sheepishly. "Nah, I'm not really good at tonal languages. Doc G would pick a language and run all exercises in it for an entire day and when I didn't understand directions I paid dearly. Got some teeth knocked out during training because I didn't understand the Cantonese word for 'duck' and you bet your ass I put in effort to learn after that. But it just didn't really take except for in written form. Pitch-accent languages are about where my skills limit out."

Wufei's eyes got wide. "You read in Cantonese?"

Mischief radiated from Duo. "I lost a lot of that ability but then you recommended that book series—"

"We don't have to talk about that!"

Wufei was red in the face, and Duo didn't push the subject any further. If his friend didn't want the others to know he went from reading almost solely philosophy to reading fantasy marital arts books with heavy philosophical themes, that was his choice. Duo was not one to judge, especially when he enjoyed the books.

"Anyway, they were really good. So I brought myself up to speed again to read them in their original form instead of translated. Started out looking up words constantly, but after the first 4 books I was mostly good to go."

Heero was only half listening. If pitch-accent languages was the limit of his skills, then Duo almost certainly knew Japanese. He knew everything Heero ever said to him dating back to the first war. His chest tightened. His hands suddenly felt cold. The security he felt in expressing himself in Japanese without worrying about feeling foolish fell out from under him and he ran though a list of things in his head that he'd said over the years. It began as insults, mostly. So many insults. Why would Duo even bother with him if he knew the horrible things he said back then?

But then there were the confessions. Recent confessions. Terribly personal confessions of his feelings. He felt the color draining from his face while Duo stood innocently unaware of the bomb he'd just set off, chatting with Wufei and Trowa. That was just like him: the demolitions expert blowing everything up in his wake.

As the others spoke, asking more questions and giving short language quizzes that his partner groaned about, lamenting training of the past, Heero sat in silence before slowly removing himself from his chair and backing away. He needed to clear his head. Duo certainly heard him confess his love not even a month ago as they laid in bed and he'd said nothing in response other than "I like it when you speak Japanese."

Did Duo not return his feelings? Was that a deflection? Avoidance? To not even acknowledge such a direct confession meant something, right? Maybe he did something wrong, or was so wrapped up in finding the words for his own feelings that he neglected to see signs his partner was pulling away. Were there signs? Did he miss something small or big like he had years ago?

Other than Duo's depressive episode it never felt like anything was especially off between them. But what could he possibly know about how loving relationships were supposed to work when he didn't grow up witnessing any? Yes, his friends were currently all in what appeared to be healthy relationships, but maybe there were subtle clues he was missing. He was feeling like they'd reached a good place recently, and was gaining confidence in their relationship. To have that certainty suddenly yanked away hurt.

Worse, maybe Duo stayed quiet because of the whole never lying thing, and the only option to respond to "I am very much in love with you" that wouldn't be a lie was "I like it when you speak Japanese."

What if he just wasn't enough? A placeholder until someone better came along who didn't have the burdens of war and the emotional walls of his training? What if Duo wanted someone who could smile freely and laugh with everyone and didn't require so much work? He was a lot of work. Maybe he was easier to be with now, but he was a project from the start and Duo certainly remembered those years. Did 02 complete a mission to loosen him up and now was gearing towards leaving? Was—

Heero froze when a hand gently touched his shoulder. Looking up he realized he was in Quatre's garden, and looking down he saw evidence of his pacing back and forth in the freshly compacted dirt path beneath his feet. Turning to his left he saw the subject of his thoughts, hand lingering on his shoulder as Duo fixed him with a concerned gaze. In that moment he could faintly smell the roses around them as their scent floated upwards on a soft breeze. He couldn't shake the fear that this moment, in an otherwise idyllic setting, could be their last as a couple. And to delay that confrontation, Heero remained silent, searching violet eyes.

"Hey, are you all right Ro? You kinda sorta ran off."

The hand on his shoulder remained in place and in the back of his mind Heero thought perhaps this contact was to ensure Duo could grab him if he tried to run off again. If that was true, Duo wanted him near. But that thought didn't calm his heart. His throat felt thick when he suddenly blurted out without thinking "You didn't tell me you loved me back!"

Violet eyes narrowed a bit in what appeared to be surprise mixed with a little hurt but Heero wasn't trusting he ever knew how to read those eyes. Without removing his hand Duo tilted his chin down a little and looked at Heero through his long bangs, speaking with a hint of accusation in his tone. "You never told me you loved me."

Anger flared in Heero and he jerked away from his partner's grasp, taking a few steps back. His lower body and torso adjusted into a fighting stance as it often unconsciously did when confronting a particularly difficult conversation he didn't want to have. His arms and hands were free but the rest of him was ready to fight. "You basically confirmed you learned Japanese before the war. You know what I said last month. You've always known what I've said. What happened to never telling a lie? Was that a lie?"

Duo flinched and then got angry. "You can be a real asshole, Yuy! You really think after all this time I'd lie to you? Now? After everything we've been through together and after I let you closer to me than anyone has ever been?" He waited for a response but got none. So he forged ahead.

"You said you loved me, yeah. But you weren't making some confession to me, you were making a confession to yourself. You had no idea I would understand you and that is why you said those words. I figured you were getting comfortable with the idea of them. Feelin your way through sayin them for your own sake."

Heero was incised. "But you never said anything!"

"I thought if at some point if you wanted to tell me you'd actually say it in a way you knew I'd understand. You know. In a language you're certain I can follow. But you didn't. If I tell you in French or Spanish that I love you does that count as a confession I should expect you to reciprocate?" When Heero said nothing Duo lost his patience. "Don't just stand there. Answer me, Yuy!"

Heero felt that even the birds in the garden were waiting to hear a response because nature had gone silent. He was at a loss. He felt angry and very betrayed but Duo was making some sense. However, he was also calling him by his surname, which often indicated anger. He was tense as he asked through gritted teeth "Why didn't you tell me at any point since we were fifteen that you understood me? Was there not one time in the last 12 years where you felt it appropriate?"

Duo's eyes bore into him. "You never asked, Ro. And it didn't matter when you insulted me, threatened me, or cursed. You needed an outlet for aggression, we all did. You chose one you thought was harmless because I wouldn't understand, and I didn't take it too personally. Sure it hurt sometimes but I knew better than to let that stick. And until last month you never once divulged anything of a personal nature. With me around you only ever cursed in Japanese, or made a few exclamations. Even if I didn't know what you were saying, I'd have picked it up from context, same as you have with my Spanish. If you had ever said anything personal or of substance, I'd have told you I understood."

The argument did nothing to alleviate Heero's hurt. "But you didn't do that!"

"I was caught off guard!"

"It's an invasion of my privacy!"

Duo's eyes darkened and his voice dropped. "You don't wanna go down that road."

"Why the hell not?"

The man standing in front of Duo bore a lot of resemblance to the angry and confused young man he'd met when they were teenagers. There was a hatred in his eyes Duo hadn't seen directed at him since Heero, defensive and afraid, lashed out at him during the wars. He knew facing this version of Heero that his partner was ready to pull out all the stops. He would attack viciously and potentially without much thought. Duo only hoped once Heero calmed down the damage between them wouldn't be irreparable. He was so tired of always being the bad guy.

In an effort to keep things civil, his words were clear and solemn when he spoke. "Because you're not exactly an innocent party here."

Those words made Heero boil over. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Duo could see a slow motion train wreck happening between them. The last thing he wanted to do was turn things around by pointing fingers and making accusations of his own. He wanted to prevent a fire, not feed it.

"Heero I don't think it's very useful to—"

Heero advanced on him as he demanded once more for Duo to clarify what he meant. It was only a few steps but they were now within grappling reach of one another. Duo wasn't afraid. Even while regressed from the emotionally mature man he'd become to the teen who purposefully burned his own bridges there was nothing about Heero that made Duo fear for his physical safety. But it did make him profoundly sad that Heero felt so lost right now. If he'd any clue how this little omission would hurt the man he'd happily have told Heero years ago that he understood him.

Duo bit his lower lip, briefly considering what to say.

"It means I'm going to disengage from this conversation that you're working hard to turn into an argument." Heero opened his mouth to speak but Duo kept going. "I don't see how me ignoring the cruel things you've said to and about me over the years when you thought I didn't understand is in the same ballpark as the highest invasion of privacy between us. But I'll think about it. Alone. And we can talk it through later." Heero was not expecting this and his anger seemed to slightly curb. He appeared skeptical of Duo's words, and it was clear what part he didn't believe.

This last part, Duo knew, could blow up in his face. But he hoped it wouldn't.

"And you, Heero? You get to think about how much of my privacy you invaded when you tried your best to all-out stalk me for years. I went underground for a reason. I left for a reason. And you used every single resource you had, including ones at Preventers you weren't legally permitted to access for personal use, to track me down against my will. You ran my known aliases, did forensic accounting, used every single trick in the book to find me when I wanted to disappear. Even though it didn't work, it's inexcusable. And then you showed up at my door when I fled from the hospital. That's pretty invasive if you ask me."

With that he turned heel and stormed out of the garden, but not before yelling "And it's 13 years, Yuy! Ten days ago marked 13 years since Operation Meteor! You all need to stop saying it's been 12 years!"

Duo knew he was leaving a shocked Heero behind. He hoped he would be okay. It seemed Heero didn't do well with emotional curve balls despite the personal growth he achieved. So much for the mature man Duo was praising to himself not long ago. Heero did change over the years, but some parts of him were absolutely stuck in AC 195.

Once at the house it was clear the others suspected something was very wrong, particularly when he returned alone. He found Trowa and asked to borrow his car. The taller man didn't question why Duo needed the vehicle. He simply picked up his phone and texted Quatre's valet to bring his car around for his friend. He informed Duo it would be waiting out front with the keys inside. They shared a silent look and that was all Trowa needed to nod and softly declare "I'll go check on Heero. Don't worry." Once again Duo wasn't sure how he got by for so many years without Trowa's steady friendship. Maybe because Heero wasn't around then, so he needed Trowa a little less.

Quatre looked upset. "You ruin everything with him again?"

Wufei shot Quatre an angry look and Duo spoke before either of them could say another word. "It was… an awkward day. Let's not do specifically this again."

When Duo walked out Wufei followed him to the front of the house. He remained silent until Duo reached the car.

"You don't have to leave."

"Thanks Fei but I kinda think I do."

Duo was startled when he suddenly found himself being pulled into a hug. At first he was uncomfortable but then he relaxed into it. Wufei's reassuring voice proclaimed near his ear "Yuy is a brat sometimes. I hope this is a small hiccup for the two of you but if you need me you know where I am. Day or night I'll answer if it's you."

All at once Duo was both confused and mortified. Did Wufei really think this fight was going to break him and Heero, just because he was borrowing Trowa's vehicle to leave on his own? It was just an argument, why should he need Wufei day or night for something so... ridiculous? A little space between himself and Heero would solve things nicely. Wouldn't it? It's not like they had to always get along and be on the same page. Did the others think his relationship with Heero was that fragile?

If they did, Duo thought them wrong.

The day or night part stuck with him, too. He was still getting used to the idea of people who stood by him. With his hesitancy to lean on these men during and after the war, and his fear of leaning too much on Hilde, the entire experience of having someone to support him was still new and left him at a loss. As he looked at Wufei he could hear Sally's voice, months ago in a diner.

Did you ever even give them a chance?

He wasn't ready to let a lot of people into his life. He probably would never really let many get close. But letting just a few in was already paying dividends. Even though he didn't expect to need someone to lean on in the coming days it was nice to know he had someone.

With a soft and emotional "thank you" he got into Trowa's car and drove home.

TRANSLATION FOOTNOTES

Mon tabarnak! Ne l'avez-vous pas encore appris? - Means "You fucker! Haven't you learned it yet?" in French, but more specifically French with a Canadian dialect. For this one I had to use online translators, so I hope it's correct. But "tabarnak" is specifically Quebecois sang. That much I know without the internet.

¡Por supuesto! Hablo español como si pilotara un Gundam. - Means "Of course! I speak Spanish like I pilot a Gundam." in Spanish.