-๑-๑ ஜ ๑- Chapter 33: Titan stew -๑ ஜ ๑-๑-
Shizuo had never been a fan of gatherings. Neither for fun, nor for work.
And looking at his comrades that had troubles walking straight he was facing a despicable mixture of both.
A few hours after Izaya had been summoned by Shiki, the rest of the corps had received an order to gather.
The sun stood high and the soldiers hung low as they tried to pretend they weren't still drunk or hungover.
Some talked about the next mission, figuring that it was the reason they were called.
Shizuo's guts only clenched at the thought.
Izaya was with Shiki right now.
Pretending he hadn't realized how his superior wanted to murder him. He had to pretend he didn't notice the titan on the wall too. Seeing as it had been placed there for no other purpose than to end Izaya's life, the captain had to create quite the story to cover how he had survived the attack.
Of course all evidence of the mutilation of the titan had been destroyed upon its fall from the wall. And even if Izaya could show proof for the attempted assasination, who was he going to show?
Who was left to be trusted?
Two against the world had seemed comforting within the four walls of Izaya's room, but out here it somehow made Shizuo feel small and weak.
And suddenly he appeared.
The training ground was the location of their gathering and a wooden podest made for demonstrations was used for speeches at times.
Or in this case- orders.
Stepping up, their lieutenant presented himself in all his glory. Serious, tense with a jawline that could cut through iron he looked at the troop with piercing eyes.
"Lieutenant Shiki-" a soldier exclaimed, quickly straightening his stance as the rest of the troup realized they weren't alone anymore.
It was when another familiar face appeared next to the lieutenant that Shizuo turned as well.
Izaya.
Stepping up next to Shiki, the raven cast a short glance towards his superior.
"Are you sure you are capable of fighting?"Shiki hummed with the slightest hint of amusement.
"Yes sir, completely fit for the mission."
The words came stoic. No syllable was wasted and his tone gave away his reluctance to speak.
"I see. Well then, if you would?" Shiki gestured towards the soldiers that were waiting for their orders.
Stepping right up, Izaya quickly cleared his throat.
"The goal of today's mission is to reach the point where we got attacked earlier and try to retrieve intel on what lies beyond there."
More soldiers appeared from the side, joining the rows as if they had always belonged. "We will have a few more soldiers join us for that purpose. I am in charge as the head so I expect you to follow my orders as you would your own captain's."
Izaya announced, his eyes curtly scanning the rows.
It was just for the brink of a second that Shizuo's and Izaya's gaze met.
Their stare lingered fir but a second before Izaya tore his eyes away.
Shizuo couldn't help but frown.
"Tch, just go die, death reaper." Soft whispers traveled through the rows.
He hated it.
All of this.
The mission no one wanted to complete.
The way Izaya was put as the responsible one again.
The soldier's that kept rambling shit.
A blond kid had been the one rambling without a care and Shizuo shot him a glare.
"Traitors."
Surprise reflected in his face when he caught the word. Murmurs started up joining in similar accusations as the blond kid clicked his tongue.
"Shut up, asshole."
… wow the guy had only joined them a few seconds ago but everyone seemed to hate him already.
Made Shizuo wonder just what he had done.
"The mission is to start at midday, get your horses!" Izaya ended his speech and the soldier's dispersed.
Allround murmurs and displeased groans were to be heard as the masses dispersed. Seeing as half of the soldiers were at least hungover they weren't too happy about this turn of events.
Snaking his way through the crowd Shizuo elbowed one or two men into the side as he steered for the tribune.
Stepping down from the wooden elevation, Izaya was making his way towards the stalls.
"Izaya-" Shizuo caught up with his captain just before the animals. His voice and the way he spelled Izaya's name was more than enough to tell the raven what he was about to complain about.
"Shizu-chan I'm not suicidal. I'm well enough to confidently escape a titan's attack," he hissed between tight lips. His eyes darted around, making sure no one heard of their small conversation.
There was a lot he had to avoid at the moment, and drawing Shiki's attention was number one priority.
Shizuo realized just as much- which is why he kept his voice low.
He knew Izaya wasn't joining by choice. It was an order-
"But you are-"
The hand on his collar came unexpectedly as Izaya's eyes took on a dangerous glint of venom.
"Shizu-chan if your next words contain anything compared to weak I will stab you right here right now with this blade and show you just how weak I am."
Shizuo's brows furrowed.
He was pissed- angry at Izaya's reaction, yet he understood. Apart from his damned pride he wasn't exactly supporting his captain by telling him he would die if he joined the mission.
No more words were needed. Izaya let go of Shizuo's collar and slipped onto his horse.
Just slightly the raven adjusted his posture as he lost his balance for a moment.
None of the soldier's noticed, and neither did Shiki, that's how small the motion had been, but Shizuo saw and his eyes narrowed as he turned.
This wasn't the time to nag Izaya.
Eyes searching for the real culprit he looked for their lieutenant.
Still standing on that podest he seemed so damn pleased with how his plan unfolded.
Shizuo's hands curled into loose fists.
He wouldn't let the flea fall victim to his schemes.
Never.
"Alright, hurry up everyone!" one of the soldier's announced arriving at the scene with more horses.
Dust blew into the air and the creatures neighed unwillingly. Neither of those horses had been outside the wall before as they almost always needed new ones as replacement for the dead ones, but the fear seemed to accumulate even in their rows as they reluctantly stepped onto the area.
Not wasting any time, Shizuo grabbed one of the rims and threw his body onto the animal.
It was funny, in case there were titans there was nothing he could do. He couldn't even handle the maneuver gear.
Yet the fire Izaya's treatment ignited had somehow flared his confidence. He didn't even know what he could do to prove useful, but he was going to make sure Izaya returned.
Alive.
Loud and brazen the gate of the wall opened after what must have been a short ride of ten minutes to the wall.
The last time he stood before them his emotion had prevailed fear but right now none of that was felt.
"Hurry up, traitor!"
Murmurs and yells of obvious disdain reigned the rows as the corps proceeded.
Eyes narrowing, Shizuo looked at the guy they had addressed. It was the same from before. He was young. His expression faked determination but his blond hair didn't quite manage to completely hide his fear.
"What's with them?" Shizuo found himself mumbling aloud. He hadn't even meant for anyone to hear his question and yet he found the most soothing voice reply.
"That's Kida Masaomi." Turning his head in surprise he faced Izaya.
Having pulled up close to him their horses aligned next to each other. A short glance was exchanged and Izaya's voice turned to a whisper. "Anri Sonohara was his girlfriend."
Like a slap across the face the name resurrected an array of memories.
The forest. The titans.
Izaya almost dying- but most importantly, the girl that turned into a titan.
Just like Shizuo had.
An unsettling feeling clutched Shizuo's mind as his hair stood on end.
No one was after him, but right now in the middle of the survey corps after having been reminded of his true nature he couldn't help but feel like wildlife permitted to be hunted.
A soft hint of nausea made itself apparent as he swallowed.
"Don't think too much about it. It will cloud your head and I need you to be fully aware of your surroundings." Izaya quickly followed.
Shizuo was terribly aware of just how good an idea the raven had of his state- and of the fact that he was right.
This was not the time to be overwhelmed by mixed feelings.
"Understood."
Horses neighed and hooves met the ground in quick succession as they left the wall behind.
They were lucky, at least for now no titans seemed to traverse the area around the wall.
It was a peaceful day. The sun gleamed peacefully and fear laid low.
Had Shizuo not known it better he would have thought he was still inside the safety of the walls.
But the longer the ride proceeded, the more unsettling the silence became.
It wasn't unusual to not meet any right outside the walls- but not meeting a single one after hours of riding was more than just rare.
It caused the troop to slow down. Initial excitement turned into anxiety and all too soon everyone's eyes were scanning their surroundings in a rapid fashion.
It didn't exactly help that the sun was starting to set either as nightfall approached.
Eyes flickering through the rows, Shizuo searched for Izaya.
He had ridden up to the front, leading the troop on its way.
Pulling the leash Shizuo sped the horse up to meet with his captain head on.
"Izaya-" Shizuo started, but the flea already had his own plans in mind it seemed.
"We will take a break here! Hide the horses and set up a camp!" he yelled, loud enough for his entire troup to hear, yet with intensity so low Shizuo wasn't scared a titan might have heard the noise.
Relief spread across the ruling anxiety like a topping of chocolate in a cake.
The recruits jumped off their horses in a quick fashion and made their way towards one of the huge trees that were surrounding them by now.
Getting rid of his horse by binding it to a tree, Izaya made his way up into the crown.
"Up here?" one of the recruits asked, and Shizuo recognized the one as the titan's boyfriend.
"You can lay down below and have a titan gnaw on your bones instead." Izaya shrugged, efficiently shutting up the useless banter.
Kida didn't seem particularly pleased by the answer as he reluctantly moved upwards into the tree.
"At least they do as you tell them to," Shizuo mumbled quietly and Izaya nodded before joining the rest of their troup.
Food, blankets, weapons everything was moved upwards and somewhat tied to the tree's various thick branches.
It made Izaya feel a variety of emotions as he walked on the high hideout.
The last time he had been up in these enormous trees was when he had been close to dying after all.
Letting the tension ease up he let himself sink onto a branch not too far off from the troup.
"Shouldn't the captain be on watch out or something?" The recruit called Kida yelled from afar, obviously trying to create some sort of conflict.
What hell even?
A deep frown drew upon Shizuo's features as he steered towards the little shit.
But a hand grasping his wrist for an unseen moment, kept him at bay, as Izaya held him back.
Turning around he looked at his captain as he crooned his neck.
"True, having someone on watch would be a good idea. Kida? If you would?"
The recruit obviously hadn't seen that coming.
"What-" he quickly cleared his throat, trying not to show how much the answer had thrown him off "Shouldn't the captain secure his soldier's safety?" he tried instead only to trigger a confident smile on Izaya's expression.
"And secure his own safety as the head of the operation to keep leading until the end? Yes, very much so."
Disbelieving the soldier's glances averted from the banter. Izaya had implied it was fine for everyone to die as long as he survived.
That wasn't what he truly felt and Shizuo knew that.
But also was the fact that he needed to make his stance clear.
If he let one soldier run all over him it would take only a few moments until the rest did the same.
Anger radiated from the young soldier as he made his way to one of the outer branches.
Izaya turned as well as he relocated his gaze to the darkness that was slowly engulfing their campside.
More complaints were murmured in the shadow of the night as the rest of the corps made themselves comfortable.
A small fire was made too, in the center of the tree's stem. It wasn't until the recruits started eating a few bits of meat that one of them had obviously stolen from the storage that they slowly started to thawn.
Soft laughter and hushed voices of chatter filled the night like the buzzing sound of cicadas.
It was a noise that wasn't too loud to attract attention, but loud enough to fill the unsettling silence.
It was when twigs cracked and the branch shifted just slightly, that Izaya turned his head.
Shizuo had removed himself from the troup and sneaked over.
Sitting down next to the raven he followed his gaze while holding out a piece of bread. Izaya took it without a word.
Starting a conversation seemed to be difficult.
What was on his mind?
"Man if I die please bury me," One of the soldier's exclaimed in the flow of their discussion, earning a couple of hushed complaints to keep his voice low.
Burrying, huh?
"Once I die make sure I'm at least buried somewhere, don't wanna imagine having some titan trample across my face," Shizuo snorted- it was meant as a joke and yet Izaya froze at the words.
The image of a very real and very dead Shizuo passed his mind.
Horrifying.
It caused his hunger to cease and mood to spoil.
"Are you okay?" Swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat the raven forced himself to take another's bite.
"Of course," he answered, albeit short.
Shallow.
Shizuo didn't need to be a genius to notice how much his captain's mood had shifted.
"...Izaya-" a soft sigh escaped Izaya's lips and he turned- for the first time looking Shizuo in the eyes since they left the wall.
It was a glance Shizuo didn't know how to interpret. Sadness, loneliness and a hint of pain lingered in his eyes.
"Don't talk about dying."
Guilt made itself apparent as Shizuo realized his mistake.
Out here with titans possibly close by talking about one's death probably wasn't the number one topic to start a conversation.
"...sorry."
Turning away Izaya directed his eyes towards the night sky once more.
He seemed so tranquill. Like the ink of a feather, about to vanish in a stain of water.
It caused the blonde to feel the desperate urge to reach out for the raven.
Caging and sheltering him, like a wounded bird.
The fire the recruits had made was extinguished as quickly as it had been made. Serving only to cook it was wiser to not attract too much attention out here and so darkness befell the troup like the death reaper's blanket.
Some were going to sleep in awkward positions. Some kept looking down the trees for any possible titans appearing.
At least one good thing stemmed from the darkness.
Stars.
Much more than Shizuo had ever seen, aligned in the sky. It was a clear night. Cold, but not unbearably.
"How are your knees holding up?" Shizuo whispered after a while, when he was sure everyone else was either asleep or too focused on other tasks to head them.
Izaya shrugged softly.
"They are sore but otherwise fine. It's nothing I can't deal with."
Good.
Shizuo had been worried Izaya was overexerting himself, but his answer seemed genuine.
But that wasn't the only question that lingered on his mind.
"... what did Shiki say when you met up?"
It couldn't quite have been only instructions for the mission. Izaya had been gone for hours. Enough for half their recruits to sober up.
A shrug followed.
Then silence. "...he asked me for a detailed report of the last mission." Izaya replied slowly after a while of waiting.
Shizuo frowned.
"And you gave it?"
"Of course," Izaya sighed and let his head meet the stem of the tree. He looked lost, melancholic even as he extended his hand towards the stars.
"Let's just run."
"...what?" Shizuo blinked, a bit confused by the change of topic.
"Right now. Any direction would be fine. We have our gear, food, no one is watching," Izaya shrugged, rambling on as though all of what he just said was easily doable.
It was a joke. A pretend to be. Shizuo wasn't stupid enough to mix that up.
Izaya's sisters were still inside the wall. Shizuo's brother too.
Neither of them would leave them behind.
But he enjoyed the concept Izaya presented. "And which direction would you choose?" he asked softly, and Izaya's head turned to look at him pleased. Something akin to a smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he shrugged.
"South. Never moved far there. I'm curious what's left to see that we haven't discovered."
Shizuo hummed, "The food might grow short on our journey tho."
A mischievous smirk drew across Izaya's face.
"We can just slay a titan and roast it." Shizuo couldn't help but stifle a laugh.
"Humans eating titans?" It wasn't even a matter of whether or not they would taste disgusting. It was sheer not possible.
The moment they killed them their bodies started to dissolve.
"Sure, why not?" Izaya shrugged, not even bothering with clear logic anymore as he kept his gaze up.
"Let's cook some titan soup."
Shizuo tilted his head, "Or titan stew."
Izaya laughed- "Sure why not."
It was such a beautiful sound. Izaya's laughter, that is.
Like a rare bird's call, only heard a few times of the year.
It was saddening to know its rarity.
Moving just the slightest bit closer the blond let his shoulder bump into Izaya's.
Surprised his captain's head turned, and Shizuo smiled a bitter smile of truth. "... Any time. You give the word, I'm in."
He was actually half serious. and Izaya was aware of that.
A soft smile spread across his lips as he redirected his gaze to the stars.
It was funny, but that offer alone had made Izaya feel oddly free despite all dangers and threads entangling him.
"Thank you," Izaya whispered softly, causing Shizuo to blink.
"What for?"
And Izaya shrugged.
"For talking about titan stew I guess."
to be continued~
Ah what a calm chapter~
NO titans, no drama- C: C: You know what this means right? There is no way I can just sit still and write a fluffy little stargazing chapter without throwing everything into chaos later right?
xDDDDDDDD
Well, well, let's see how long the peace lasts C:
See you next Saturday! I will be updating every Saturday from now on xD
PS.: Bcd and SD volume one are on amazon now, but I am afraid amazon only sells/ships to England, USA, germany/austria and maybe one more place :C I can't really widen that by myself since I'm just a freelancer here T^T
But for those who can/want to buy those copies, the originified rework of "The wish to disappear" will be coming out next week :3 I will be updating an extra chapter on that story with the info xD