Chapter 3

"Final Week of Showings"

The final week of Itchy and Scratchy's movie run had come to Springfield and Homer was still holding onto his guns in regards to Bart's punishment. However, his thirst for beer continued to grow and with each passing day, the more desperate he became for a sip of liquor. At the same time, he was beginning to understand what Bart was going through.

On the Sunday after church, Homer decided to pay a visit to Reverend Lovejoy to explain the situation.

"Look, Reverend, I know this is kind of awkward coming to you on Sunday and all," he said as he sat in Reverend Lovejoy's office. "But, I need your help on something."

"Well, that explains why you weren't sleeping in church like you normally do," Lovejoy remarked as he hung up his religious vestments and sat down in front of Homer. "What seems to be the trouble?"

"Reverend," Homer began, trying to find the words to explain the situation. "Have you ever been punished for disciplining your children?"

"In what way is that?"

"Like, you forbid someone from taking part in something they've longed to do to teach them a lesson and your spouse or whoever decides to punish you too? That's exactly what happened to me."

"Can't say that I have, Homer. Go on."

"Bart's teacher told us to start being tougher on him and he screwed up while watching Maggie. So, I gave him the punishment by forbidding him from ever seeing the new cat and mouse movie. Marge sided with me and after a while, she took Bart's side and said that I was going too far. Well, I dug in my heels and do you know what she does? She dumps out all of my beer down the drain and says I can't drink any beer of any kind until I let Bart see the movie."

Listening in, Lovejoy absorbed what he heard and sat back in his chair.

"So that's what she did, hmm? As a father myself, I understand that child discipline is crucial in making them successful adults. But, there are consequences to our actions and unfortunately, in your case, I agree with Marge on her decision."

"You can't be serious, Reverend?"

"I am serious, Homer. I'm afraid that you have indeed crossed the line. A simple spanking would have been much more effective."

"But then Bart would have just done it again," protested Homer. "Even if I choked him, he still would have done it. Why do I have to be the bad guy here when this is all part of being a parent? I've punished Bart lots of times and…"

But Homer was silenced by Lovejoy's left hand being put into his face.

"Hold it, Homer. I think I can understand why Marge did what she did. She wants you to feel what Bart is feeling, to be denied of something you love to do. If you deny Bart of seeing the Itchy and Scratchy movie, then she denies you of alcohol, end of story. In other words, she's trying to put you in Bart's shoes."

Looking up to the ceiling, Homer let out a deep sigh of frustration, not believing what was being spoken to him.

"Reverend, I…I get what you are saying, but…"

"But what?"

"As much of a bum as I am, children need to be taught right from wrong. Seeing the movie was Bart's privilege, not his right that he was entitled to."

"It's a privilege, yes. But there are psychological consequences to denying someone of their privileges. In fact, let's pretend this scenario. You do something stupid and are forbidden from ever seeing your dying relative, someone that you were very close with. How would you feel?"

"I would feel terrible, Reverend, to the point where I would never forgive the one who forbade me from saying goodbye. But, it's just a movie and it's not like…"

"Now hold on, Homer. I'm trying to show you that the movie that Bart wants to see is like a dying relative. Itchy and Scratchy, as stupid and as violent as it seems, will not be on the big screen forever. Once it's gone, it's gone like a dying person. Marge wants you to experience the same kind of similar feeling with being denied the privilege of drinking alcohol."

"Then, what do you want me to do?" asked Homer, realizing that he was going to hear something that he wasn't going to like hearing.

"I'm going to give you an order, Homer," said Reverend Lovejoy. "I'd like you to take Bart and see the new Itchy and Scratchy movie at the next possible opportunity."

Homer's eyes widened upon hearing this and rose to his feet in shock.

"But, but Reverend…"

"Don't 'but Reverend' me, Homer," interrupted Reverend Lovejoy. "I'm having you do this for not just your own benefit, but Bart's as well. Forcing punishments such as this will not make Bart successful in life. Marge realized that, so why not you?"

Without saying a word, Homer got up from the chair and made his way out of Lovejoy's office. He still wouldn't speak as he drove home from church, trying to process everything that had been spoken to him.

"Why is this the answer?" Homer thought to himself as he drove home. "To just let Bart see the movie after all? I really wish that there was another way around all of this. Children have to be disciplined, but maybe somehow Lovejoy is right, I might have gone too far this time. Personally, I would do anything to start drinking beer again."

Arriving at his home, Homer got out and walked into the house where he saw Bart sitting on the couch reading the novel version of the Itchy and Scratchy movie.

"Bart?" Homer asked, catching his oldest son's attention. "I need to talk to you."

"What do you want, Homer?" Bart asked snappily keeping his eyes on the book. "Hand me down another punishment?"

"Look boy," he sighed, sitting next to Bart. "I know I forbade you from ever seeing the Itchy and Scratchy movie, but I've changed my mind."

"What do you mean?"

"I'd like to take you to see the movie after all."

Bart was surprised to hear this to the point where he took his attention off of the novel and focused all of it onto his father.

"Really? You mean it?"

"Yeah, I went too far in punishing you, Bart. Perhaps a simple choking would have made you see sense."

"You aren't doing this to get your beer privileges back, right?"

"Why you little…!"

And Homer gave Bart his signature strangulation as Marge watched from the kitchen, relieved that Homer finally learned his lesson after all.

Still, there was the matter of seeing the movie itself…