I clutch at my skull as it throbs again, backing away from the spectral doppelgänger, pressing my back against the locked wardrobe. The chains press against my fur as the ghost releases an amused snicker, the sneer still staining his face as he remains floating in the air before twisting himself into a lying position, as if resting on a bed.
"By the fucking gods. That's it, I've fucking lost my mind, I'm stuck in my own fucked up dream room with a ghost version of myself." I feel my teeth clench and chatter as I speak, a shiver running down my spine as I rub a hand against my face. The pulsing fades at least, a small but short laugh escaping my throat as I stare at the ghost. The fucking absurdity of all this is getting to me, my head feels light headed and my body numb, is this actually real? Is this a sign from something, from someone? From myself? The ghost snickers again and drifts closer to me, it almost looks like he's doing it lazily with how loose his movements seem to be.
"Come on Zekey boy, this isn't that shocking, right? We're in a fucked up land of magic and other tomfuckery, you got the memories of two people, and you ain't even a human anymore, and that ain't even half of it! Come on little buddy, I'm sure you can handle this." He mockingly coos as he lifts a hand, pressing it down onto my head, his lips curling further upwards. I flinch as his hand phases through my body, a shivering sensation encompassing my skull before I slap at his hand. It phases though him, as expected, another cold feeling surrounding my arm as we 'connect', his arm fading for a brief few moments with ghostly wisps, though it tugs itself together swiftly afterwards. He pulls his hands away and tuts, a faux disappointed pout on his face.
"Now now, that's not very nice is it? Hasn't your mother ever told you to be nice to yourself every now and then? Jeez, you really should calm down~" His pouting facade fades as he crows with a mocking delight, resting his chin on his hands, eyes squinting as he stares into me with that disgusting smile. Heat flares in my chest as I grit my teeth, clenching my hands as I return his stare with a glare of my own. This mother fucker.
"What the fuck are you meant to be? Some fucked up figment of my imagination to fuck with me or some shit?" I asked with a heated tone, a snarl on my lips as I cross my arms, edging away from the specter with an anxious stare. He pouts again mockingly, huffing as he lowers himself, ever closer to eye level.
"So serious when you don't need to be, and so gung-ho when I give you advice, this is such a thankless job! You already know what I am, we both know that." He answers with that fucking mocking tone of his, doesn't help that he answers that like a cryptic bastard.
"Why don't you enlighten me then, if it's already knowledge we know." I snap back with a sneer, tilting my head upwards, ears flattening against my neck. The spectre sighs, almost disappointedly so, rightening himself midair and stepping onto the carpet. Standing upright and staring at me, a proud smile on his face as he mimics me, crossing his arms. He looks exactly like me, a ghostly carbon copy of myself, it's off putting to see myself from another angle, especially when the dude that's mimicking me is a prick.
"Jesus, if you're really that dull, then I guess I can hand the answers to you on a silver platter," He says flatly, coughing into a hand shand stepping away from me, leaning into an over the top and theatrical bow before standing upright. "My name's Zeke, the same as yours, I'm your thought given form. I'd say 'at your service' to fuck with you, but I'd rather call you an idiot."
I pinch the bridge of my nose, letting out a long suffering exhale through it as I squeeze my eyes shut. One, two, three. I inhale air while I open my eyes, staring at the duplicate. A faint part of me was begging for this to be a genuine figment of my imagination created to mess with me, but here I am sadly.
"That's, okay, you're not Zeke, I don't give a fuck that you're wearing my face. I am me, and nobody else. Is this some sort of sick fucking joke?" I say in a low voice to the figure, furrowing my brows as cackles, a short heated laugh, very likely at my expense.
"No no, you seem to misunderstand you dunce, I'm not 'wearing your face' or whatever you think I am, I am you. When I say 'thought given form', I mean those words in a rather literal way. I'm those little thoughts in your head that helped you aaaaaall this time, for whatever reason, I've managed to squeeze myself out of the corners of your mind into an actual form. It's pretty liberating! Other than not being able to breath or smell or anything, it's still fun, I always wondered what the fuss was about." He replies an… odd tone to say the least, almost as if his mind was sidetracked half way through his explanation, a voice mixed between chiding, informative and wondrous. His glowing eyes tear themselves from me to his hand as he raises it, tilting his head in a bemused manner. I tap my fingers against my arm, coughing into a hand to get his attention. He seems surprised as I pull him to attention, shaking his head.
"Pfah, sadly, being you means I come with your dumb little quirks. It has its ups and downs after all." He finishes with a shrug, leaning back with his hands behind his head, a smug smirk on his lips. My mind feels foggy as I massage the bridge of my nose, the gears in my head turning to process this fucking mess.
"You're the voice I've been chatting to lately? The whole 'arguing with myself' thing that I've been doing?" I ask to clarify, sighing thankfully as he nods, at least I got something right about this. A feeling of confusion and apprehension stirs within my chest, eyes shifting up and down at the ghost, another problem to throw onto the fucking pile I guess.
"You finally got it, good job! That wasn't so hard, was it? Seriously though, it shouldn't have been that hard to understand, then again, you do have a pretty small head," He answers with a snigger, the smirk on his face flashing his teeth as he looks around the room, whistling lightly as he does so. "Also, this place is a fucking mess, it suits you!"
I clench my jaw as I feel a vein in my forehead pulsate, clenching and unclenching my hand as I take in a sharp intake of air, slowly exhaling afterwards. One, two, three, you can't exactly punch the fucker.
"So why are you here? Why now? Where did you come from exactly? How the fuck are you able to create a body for yourself?" I continue to ask the ghostly being, my eye twitching as he nonchalantly shrugs. He hums tunelessly as he floats away, peering into the bookshelf for a moment, his eyes squinting as his hands pass through the spines.
"Eh, fuck if I know, I don't really have a proper answer to any of that. I come from you, and I'll return to you, there ain't a way that'll change unless your mind explodes. Speaking of mind exploding, I'm gonna blame magic, cause you keep wanting to stick your metaphorical dick in it and it's probably gonna get us killed. Not that you seem to care, but I do, I'm stuck with your shitty choices, it's awful!" He rants and raves in an excessively shrill tone, my head throbs with pain once again as I pinch the bridge of my nose.
"I'd greatly appreciate less complaining and more answers if I'm gonna be honest, unless that's just too much work for you." I say dryly, sarcasm dripping off of my tongue as I keep a keen eye on the ghost. He shrugs again, looking at me and jabbing a thumb towards the desk.
"Hey, I woke up surrounded and lathered with black goo shit in a place that was both suffocating and infinitely expanding, after beating my hands against whatever the fuck was around me, you let me outta there. Im grateful for that, cause it fucking sucked in there, and I really don't have an answer for you, none that actually works anyways. It did properly start when you woke up in that tower, and it's only escalated since then, so magic probably has a hand in it. Also, you punching yourself fucking hurt, can you not do that again you dunce?" Thankfully, that's an actual answer of some kind, though he says it with a huff, hastily floating himself back to me and attempting to flick at my nose. It pases through my body, my nose crinkling as an uncomfortably cold feeling shoots through it, leaning away from the spectre.
"Hey, I ran outta ideas, and it worked at least. Hurt like a bitch, but the entire events and the aftermath hurt. Don't touch me though, shit fucking feels weird," I scold the prick, grimacing as he lets out a short cackling noise, swiping as his hand as he brings it down once again, his arm disappearing for a few moments on contact. It feels less cold at least, and it makes him huffy, so it's worth something even if it's menial.
"Tsk tsk, so touchy!" He chides again, a shit eating grin on his face, floating side to side aimlessly.
"Cut the shit, ghosty. What do we do with all this shit now, then?" I whiff another swing into an incoming touch, hair on the back of my neck raising as he cackles again, still keeping an arm up at the ready even as he clasps his hands behind his back. It's strange to be able to see his hands through himself, forcing myself to look upwards and into his glowing orbs. "And what the fuck, why don't you have clothes on? At least have fucking pants."
"Really? You notice the clothes part now of all times? It's not like it ain't something you havent seen before, there isn't anything there to begin with, I'm a fucking figment of your imagination dammit." He rants again, letting out an aggravated sigh as he rubs a hand against his face. So, he can physically touch himself huh? An odd exemption to him phasing through other things, but I guess that comes with being a ghost.
"Anyways, while I normally do have a plan for things, there isn't exactly much that we can do now. It was nice to get out for a bit." He continues on with a shrug, resting his hands behind his head once again. I hum and rub a hand on my chin, an eyebrow raised as I look over him.
"So, that's it then? It feels kinda anti climactic I guess." I say awkwardly, rubbing at the back of my neck.
"Eh, what do you want me to do about it? There's not much we can do in your dream, dumbass. I can always insult you at least, there's that." He says cheerfully, a sly grin on his face as he hovers, just out of reach. I sigh and rub at my temple, Jesus Christ, meeting this asshole is genuinely fucking infuriating.
"I immediately detest you, asshole." I say flatly, vein pulsing once again as he snickers.
"I know! I can feel what you feel dumbass, it's hilarious, you shat yourself when I popped outta the cabinet." I give the fuckwit a disdainful sneer as he throws his head back, laughter echoing throughout the room and my ears again. I feel my ears flatten against my neck, at least his laughter's short.
"Fantastic, to be honest I expected more from meeting myself of all things but no, you're just the annoying voice in the depths of my head, a parasite leeching off of myself, as per usual." He has a smirk still on his face as he shrugs, hands on the back of his head again.
"Eh, it's a thankless job. Besides, you did ask for this, whether you want to remember or not." Oddly enough, his tone of voice is surprisingly sombre and serious, a stark contrast from his normal cockiness. The moment fades quickly, shit eating grin plastered back onto his face. For some reason, I don't expect him to delve further into the issue.
"..You're not gonna like, try to take over my body or something right?" I tentatively ask the spirit, muscles tensing in preparation. His face contorts into a confused expression, his nose wrinkling as he leans away from me.
"Wha? Fuck no, you dumb ass, I have no actual interest in actually controlling this body of ours. Again, I'm just a voice in your head, nothing more and nothing less." He answers bluntly, a small frown appearing on his face for a few moments, disappearing into the void yet again.
"So, nothings changed then? You just decided to appear to scare the shit outta me?"
"More or less." The air feels stiff as the conversation abruptly, leaning back into the chained wardrobe as the ghost humming as he idly floats around, peering in and around the desk, though he edges away from the cabinet section, the dark still seeping out from it. I push myself off of the wardrobe and slowly approach the ghost, standing beside him, a small hum coming from him as I lift a foot.
"You need a name." I declare as I boot the cabinet shut, the steel shuddering as it grinds against itself, but it remains closed afterwards.
"Eh? Whatdaya mean dunce? My names Ze-"
"It'll just, be easier for me to understand and process all of this. Can we just do this for right now at least, please?" I cut the ghost off with a low tone as I look up to him. He doesn't respond immediately, an eyebrow raised as we stare at one another.
"Pfeh, whatever, it's not like I can convince you otherwise. Do you have any ideas for a name then? Don't try to pass me off as your alter ego or anything, Jekyll." He finally responds, sarcasm on his tongue as he shrugs, placing his fists on his hips. I raise an eyebrow as I look to the ghost, Jekyll? I can't say that I know anyone with that name, or remember them anyways, is that meant to be a joke of some kind? I shrug myself, rubbing a hand against my chin, using the other to rest on the molded desk as I hum.
"Can't say I do, actually. You're meant to be some deep seated part of my brain or something right? Why can't you think of a name for yourself?"
"Hey, don't pass off what you wanna do onto me, you lazy fuck. You're the one with the brain after all." I grimace and shiver as he taps at my skull with an ethereal finger, passing through my body once again. Annoying prick, like a chilly biting gnat that seems to thrive off of irritating me.
"There's nothing wrong with asking yourself for an answer, right?"
"Bah, why do you want to give me a name anyways? It's pretty pointless, it's gonna have something to do with your 'friends', isn't it?" He accuses with a low tone, an eyebrow raised as he looks down on me.
"I told you, it'll be easier for me. The fact that it might be easier to explain to them is the cherry on top of the fucked up cake." I respond with a shrug. His face turns into a sneer, a long suffering groan coming from his throat as he mashes his hands against his face, somehow the groan is muffled from it. How does that work?
"Are you fucking kidding me Zeke? Do you have any idea on how much of a nut job that makes you sound? 'Hey guys, all the times I've been talking to myself I've been actually talking to a ghost version of myself thats probably been brought to life from magical bullshit, just thought I'd let you know!' No sense of self shame or preservation, I swear to fuck, sharing a body with you is gonna kill me from stress before someone jabs a sword in your gut." More ranting from the dude, seems to be a common theme, did I always beat myself up so much?
"You don't exactly seem on board with the idea, other me." I comment idly as he finishes himself, hearing another soft and muffled groan from behind his hands.
"No shit. The fact that you can't feel how I feel, yet I'm stuck latched onto you emotionally is fucking aggravating." I feel him glaring at me as I snicker, it's surprisingly enjoyable to fuck with the snide, more prickish part of myself. Fairly sure that's not something I'm meant to be feeling to begin with, I'll deal with it later.
"Hey, we're stuck with each other, so let's try to get along. Please?" I plead with him as I hold out a hand, one for a tentative friendship for now at least. He eyes my hand with a stare, sighing and clasping at it. Or, trying to anyways, his hand phases through mine, but I get the intent at least.
"No promises, but I gotta look after you in some way. I do die with you sadly, so we might as well try to help one another, I'm still gonna call you a fucking idiot obviously..." He seems begrudging, but the feeling of his lingering sentence doesn't seem entirely spiteful
"Fantastic, it's progress. So, a name for you right? I still dunno what to call you." I put up my hands with a shrug, another sigh from him is a delightful displeasure.
"..Adrian." He says in a soft and flat tone, looking down and away for a moment.
"Adrian?" I semi-ask as I raise an eyebrow to the ghost. Where's that name coming from?
"It was the second name you'd have thought of before settling on Zeke, and the only name that I can recall from the mess that is your head, so we might as well settle for that. Seriously, it's pretty fucking pointless, but I guess I'll roll with it." He answers briskly with a shrug, lips pursed together as he returns eye contact.
"Adrian's a pretty nice name, maybe I have some talent for thinking of good names?" I jokingly ask with a grin, resting a hand on my chin.
"Don't go stroking your dick that much, dumb fuck." He cuts in with a scoff, rolling his eyes as I chuckle. Ever so quick to attempt to dash my good will, huh? Thanks
"So, you're gonna be Adrian from here on out then?"
"I guess so, I don't want you to pitch a hissy fit over it for no bloody reason , so I'll roll with it. You are the one that pushed for it after all"
"And you're the one that thought of the name itself, aren't we both at fault?"
"This job sucks ass, I wanna hand in my resignation notice."
"Speaking of your job, I assume that we are just gonna be as normal then, right? You help me out, give me advice and warnings, that type of stuff?" I ask the gho- Adrian, I ask Adrian idly, pushing myself onto the desk. It creeks with my weight, but it remains steady despite it, at least enough to not cause worry. I hum to myself as I rest my elbows on my knees, the desk creaking again as I lean forward mid thought. Adrian, Adrian, gotta remember his name.
"Yup yup, more or less anyways. Depending on how much of a dumbass you are, I might toss in a few 'choice words' to get your ass moving." He answers in a snide tone, a smug grin on his face as he floats in front of me. He mimics me once again, from the slouch to his elbows digging into his knees. I raise an eyebrow, he raises his. I hold up a hand, he holds up his, wiggling his fingers as I do mine.
"Do you mind?" I hiss heatedly to him, furrowing my brows as I stare at him through half lidded eyes. My ears twitches and lays flat against my neck as he cackles again, a shrill laugh that rings in my ears, again. Jesus Christ, I hope we don't share a laugh.
"By the masks it's so easy to get under your skin, it's fantastic." He says shamelessly, grin on his face as he leans backwards into what I guess is meant to be a relaxing position. Can't imagine that he feels much.
"Tsk, fuck you too Adrian. I uh, don't suppose you have an idea on how to get outta here, right?" I ask him with an awkward smile, rubbing at the back of my neck.
"Of course not, dumbass, the only way I know how is to get you to read into our memories, and as much as I'd love to get you outta here so I can have my own space, I don't think we can force it to happen." He answers with a cough and a shrug, following his gaze to the bookcase. I purse my lips together as I stare at it, I certainly don't feel anything, and I can't force it to happen, I've tried as much before. I hum and lean my head into a hand, raising a hand and watching my fingers curl with intent, switching from looking at my curling fist and Adrian with a raised eyebrow. He initially blanches before his expression turns into a grimace, raising a hand and jabbing a finger into my face.
"No, no punching, you fucking idiot. Why the fuck are you so keen on physically hitting yourself? Is it cause I already cover the mental blows? Are you just a masochist or some shit?" He spits out another rant, a clear distaste dripping off of his tongue. A mirthful feeling stirs in my chest as I laugh aloud, Adrians glare only intensifying the laughter, he huffs solemnly and crosses his arm, turning his nose upwards and away. It's a sight I'd expect from a priss, to be honest. I hum to myself and return my gaze to my fingers. Hmm.
I reach up and grab a hunk of my cheek between my thumb and a finger, roughly squeezing at it. A solid pain thrums from the squeeze itself, but nothing beyond that, I didn't think it'd wake me up, but pinching yourself awake seems worth a shot at least. Adrians yelp catches my attention, humming in surprise as he rubs a hand against his cheek, mirroring the one I've just pinched, a frown on his face
"Are you purposefully being dense or some shit? Dumb mother fucker." He chides me with a low tone, grumbling afterwards as he tends to his cheek, I assume that's in an attempt to soothe the pain. Pfah, it wasn't that painful, he seems kinda soft.
"Worth a shot, pinching yourself to wake up from a dream and all that jazz." I comment with a shrug, resting my hands on the molded desk. Despite the way it looks, it feels mostly normal, just that little bit off.
"Thats, fucking dumb. Pinching yourself is meant to check if it's a drea- You know what? Fuck you." He cuts himself off with a heated huff, a grumpy look on his face as he crosses his arms, cutting himself off of the conversation by drifting away. I keep a close eye on him as he inspects the bed, his hands passing through the soft quilt, a gentle dismayed sigh coming from him
He's very… Strange, I guess is the word to use. Here I thought that he'd be a malicious being, something I'd have to actually fight, especially with how ominous he introduced himself. I shift slightly as he attempts to lay on the bed, in reality, he floats just above the sheets, glowing blue eyes staring into the ceiling for a few moments before shutting. Well, it'd be a lie to say he doesn't have some malice in him, though it's merely verbal more than anything, and he's rather adverse to physical pain. There's something about him, something I don't feel entirely comfortable with just chalking it up to as merely mental 'tomfuckery', as Adrian so aptly used the word. Would it be wise to try to separate him from myself? He's meant to be a part of me, right? Is trying to make him his own person in my mind foolish? Perhaps that's what he meant by the 'Jekyll' thing? Pfah, what a mess, fuck this scene, and fuck this room too.
The ground shakes suddenly, the desk shaking and screeching below me with an unsettling noise, I push myself off of the thing and look around the room. The unsteady ground beneath me trembles, my legs shaking with the motion, heartbeat pulsing faster as I look around the room. A black thing drops down from in front of me, splatting and staining the floor below, looking up to see the ceiling smothered with a sticky, overly thickened almost liquid, it looks like something akin to tar, a disgusting stench invading my nose as another smattering of it drops down. I step out of the way from it, narrowly dodging it, an uncomfortable heat from the thing as it brushes past.
"Huh, that's something." Adrian says casually as he appears next to me, a bored expression on his face. It morphs into an irked one as the tar drips onto his head, grumbling and brushing a hand through it, flicking it away afterwards. That touched him? What the fuck?
"What the fuck's going on Adrian?" I demand an answer from the ghost, yelping as a decent helping of the sludge falls onto my arm, shoving it off with a spare hand. The tar feels thick and messy, it almost feels like it melds into my hand before I whisk it away with more than a few rough flickers.
"Eh, dreams collapsing, you're probably gonna wake up real soon, you might wanna calm down a bit." He answers with a continued bored expression, letting out an annoyed sigh as his heads dragged down, more tar related fuckery.
I open my mouth to yell at the man, but something heavy slams on the top of my skull, encasing my vision and throat with the viscous almost-liquid, I eek out a smothered gurgle from my throat, the tar seeping into my ears-
….
My body lurches forward instinctively, a ravaging cough spewing from my mouth as I rush to cover it, my vision blurred as a dusty smell rushes up my nose. I squeeze my eyes shut as my throat clenches, an uncontrollable hacking forcing itself through my neck. It resides eventually, gasping for air and rubbing at my head, wiping away the beads of sweat thats formed from it, Jesus Christ. I reopen my eyes and look around, gaze falling onto the shivering form of Mabel. Wha? What's going on?
"Are you okay kid?" I croak out, another cough pushing itself through my lips, letting out an aggravated groan as I wipe the spittle away. Tsk, what a fucking mess. Mabel mumbles something, my ears twitching slightly.
"..I was worried." She finally says, scooting a tad closer and looking up to me, she seems a little bit jumpy, and her lips are formed into an anxious frown.
"Worried? What happened kid?" I ask her softly with a tilt of the head, wiping my hand on myself before planting it on her head, ruffling gently. She sniffles lightly, pushing against my hand for a moment as she wipes at her eyes, golden flickering orbs that seem to gaze into me. A disturbed chill runs up my spine, though I try to brush it off with the shake of my head. Whenever I see her eyes, I feel like I'm being rightfully judged, my heart beats nervously.
"You were cold, and you were saying things, I just…" She trails off and sniffles again, rubbing at her eyes again. I wince as my chest clenches, fuck, she was really worried about me huh?
"Aw, fuck, c'mere kid." I unravel the front knot of my cloak with a spare hand, shifting myself in front of her in a kneeling position, trying my ebay to wrap it around her neck. She tilts her head with a confused trilling, pursing my lips together as I focus on fixing up the cloak, tying the knot together once again. I fumble for a bit before pulling away from her, looking up and down at the outfit. It's far too big for her, it looks so awkward around her neck, hanging off of her shoulders and dragging against the ground. She shifts around with it on her, a confused look in her eyes. I smile and ruffle her hair once again, keeping eye contact.
"You don't need to worry about me, I'm the one that promised to look after you after all, okay kid? I'll be fine, I promise that too." I say with what I hope to sound like a resolute tone, keep that eye contact Zeke. She still looks confused, but there's a spark behind her normally anxious eyes, shifting and mumbling to herself as she steps from foot to foot. It looks like she's torn between something, poor kid.
"..Okay." She says after a while, her voice wavering slightly as she sniffs again. I open my mouth to speak, but her running into my chest cuts me off, it almost feels like she's headbutted me to be honest. I smile anyways, wrapping my arms around her body and squeezing lightly.
"You gonna be okay kid?" I ask her quietly, smiling as she responds with a hum, her head nodding into my chest.
'Pfah, you're fucking weird for doing this with a kid you don't know, but you wouldn't listen to me anyways'
I almost jump, a cold feeling of surprise running through my veins as my throat hitches, but I swallow it down.
Good morning to you too, Adrian, thanks for the heads up.
'No problem, waste of skin.'
...Why do you sound different? Well, not different different, but definitely not the same, if that makes sense.
'Why the fuck do you think I'd know? I'm just the voice in your head, dumb ass, it might have something to do with you 'meeting' me I guess."
Hm, maybe? I don't think it really matters. I shrug and pull myself away from Mabel, ruffling her hair once more.
"I'm gonna get up and check on Edward, okay kid? Go through my bag for some food if you need it." She pouts and whines slightly, though those whines turn into mumblings as I give her a final headpat. I push open the wagon flaps, twisting my head and giving her another smile before leaping out of it. I grunt as I land onto the dirt, brushing myself off and stretching, bones cracking as I do so.
It'll be another day to go through, won't it Adrian?
'I'd say I hope you perish slowly, but I don't want to go back into the inbetween void again, it's not a pleasant place after all.'
That's the spirit.