A soft sigh pushes past my lips as I stir, consciousness returning to me bit by bit as an all encompassing and welcoming warmth smothers me, a smile pushing its way onto my face as I embrace the lot of it. My fingers feel as if they're entangled in a web of fur, soft to the touch that brings a delightful feeling into my heart. It reverberates in my chest, a pulsating warmth like a blanket around the heart, loving and enticing. Jesus Christ, it's so warm here, I just wanna rest for a whole, there's nothing wrong with that is there?. Such a delightfully heavenly feeling shouldn't be put to waste, right? A temporary indulgence didn't do anyone any harm...
"Rise and shine, little bastard." In just a moment, the loving warmth is torn away from me, dissipating like a popped balloon into the abyss. I shiver as a chill runs up and down my spine, rubbing the sleep that sticks to my eyes as best as I can, forcing them open. A familiar ghostly face fills my vision, his lips curled up into a shit eating grin as amusement dances behind his eyes, blue ethereal wisps dissipate into nothingness in the air in an off moment.
"Boo." The little bastards snide giggling fills the air as I groan aloud, my attempts to swat away the little pest with a hand does little as it passes through his body, an uncomfortable chill taking a hold of my limb for a moment as I do so.
"Couldn't let me enjoy myself for a bit longer, huh?" I ask rhetorically, slurring my words slightly even as I try to keep myself awake, blinking and unblinking rapidly to clear the blurred vision. It doesn't seem to do too much, but it's something at least.
"I was thinking about it, but it's funnier this way." Of course he answers me with a dickish chuckling, floating his face down to my view, stupid grin still plastered on his face.
"Bullshit." I respond with a snort, flinching in surprise and disgust as he prods my nose with a finger, a chill running through it into my skull. Fucking prick, I hope you felt that too.
"Maybe, maybe not, either way, I get some of the enjoyment of your little episode right there and I fuck with you a little, it's a win win in my book." I sigh as he boasts his 'victory', ethereal chest proudly puffed out as he does so. I ignore his little gestures for a moment as I push myself into a seating position, running my hands over the striped sheets, as soft as welcoming as always.
"So, we're back here huh?" I ponder out loud as I look around the room, such a disheveled and unloved little space isn't exactly easy to forget, though it feels like I haven't been here in a while despite that. Well, there was last time, but I can't exactly count that can I? I did fuck all in here beyond beating that desk.
"An astute observation, how did you ever figure that out? A master class detective is what you are." Sarcasm drips from the doppelgangers tongue with his remark, floating over and planting himself on the ruined looking table, feet dangling off of the ledge as he does so. Why does he even need to sit? Does he need it, does he feel it? He's a fucking ghost in my head dammit. At least it looks repaired from the time I had to hack and tear the thing open, that's convenient.
"You seem a little bit testy, Adi, what's up your ass?" I get some enjoyment out of seeing the little bastard squirm a bit, I can feel how uncomfortable he is, too.
"Never fucking call me that again, that's fucking weird. Do you know how little goes on in your head? There's fuck all to do here when I'm not insulting you or going through your memories, this room isn't exactly entertaining you know." I give the ghost a smug little grin as I lean onto a hand, raising an eyebrow.
"Awh, does that rub you the wrong way Adi?"
"Stop."
"You sound a little mad-i."
"Stop."
"If you wear a maids outfit, you'd be maid-drian."
"I said stop you fucking blight upon society!" I can't help but keel over laughing at the little bastards flustering, I can feel his cheeks somehow burning with embarrassment as he hisses aloud, a seething disdainful look on his face.
"Hey, I'd like to think that we're more even than before, you did yank me from a pretty good feeling dreaming moment right there."
"Even my ass, gross bastard. That was nothing more than a delusion, you know that right? How the fuck you've managed to have a dream within a dream is beyond me."
"What can I say, I'm rather special." The ghost pinches the bridge of his nose, huffing a distraught sounding sigh as he does so.
"'Special' is definitely a word I'd use for you." I snort lightly in response to the friendly jabbing, twisting and pushing myself off of the bed. I hum to myself as my paws touch the floor, familiar carpet resting below it, my claws outstretched and digging into it lightly. I know what this place looks like, I've been here enough to ingrain it into my memory, and yet…
"Hey Adrian, does something seem off about this room to you?" I question the oddly quiet doppelganger, an eyebrow raised before looking around the room himself, still resting upon the desk.
"Other than the comparatively normal feeling of this place looking like a pig sty? Not really." He responds with a nonchalant shrug. I don't feel convinced by his words, squinting my eyes as I continue to examine the room itself. It still looks like shit, not exactly a surprise there.
"...does the carpet look different to you?" I question the spirit again as I look down. There's something different, I can feel it in my bones dammit.
"Really? The fucking carpet caught your attention? What the fuck are your priorities?" Adrian responds with a sneer, though his heart's not exactly put into it, a small smile hidden away on his face. A flash of annoyance flares up in my chest for a moment as I purse my lips.
"No no, I'm serious, there used to be holes in this carpet right? It's not exactly clean now, but it's cleaner, you can see that right?" Adrians stare squints a little bit more as he looks over the floor once again, shrugging soon after.
"Okay, so the floor looks a little less shitty, what of it? What's the importance of it?" I hum to myself again as he questions me, digging my hands into my pockets and tapping at its insides. I guess it's not really important right now, but still.
"It means that this room can change, it's not as static as I thought it once was. The real question is what made it change?" I mostly talk to myself as I approach the book shelf on the opposite side of me, inspecting the thing as well as I can. I can't see any differences, neither here nor the rest of the room, but something's ought to have changed right? I feel Adrians presence wander beside me, quickly glancing over to the ghost to see his hand cupped under his chin, a mocking faux look of contemplation on his face.
"Maybe it's murder?" He suddenly suggests, I can feel the blood drain from my face as I blanch.
"Murder? You're shitting me, right?" I can't help but grimace as I glare at the bastard of a spectre, his hands raised in the air.
"Hey hey, I'm joking! Kind of anyways, c'mon Zekey, isn't it kinda convenient that the magical dream room is magically repaired even a little bit the day after you killed a few people? Maybe it ain't completely correct, but something's better than nothing, ain't it?" I feel nothing but an awful taste in my mouth as he continues on, a taste that only sours as I begin to nod along with him, my hands digging into my pockets to prevent them from travelling elsewhere. I loathe the fact that I'm even milling over the mere suggestion of it, and yet, it is something isn't it?
"Pfeh, I'll keep that in mind at least, as much as I wanna deck you for bringing it up. I'm entirely sure that killing things is gonna help with the state of my head, but it's something." I finally relent and accept the potential reasoning for it, it's just possible, nothing more and nothing less. The doppelganger seems somewhat surprised by it, too, from the way he blinks.
"...out of all of the things you could listen to me on, from not running into danger and not trying to blow our head up with magic, this is the fucking thing you listen to? Seriously? I get that you've probably taken my advice with other things, but come on." He says with a whine, his face contorted into a mix of confusion and disgust. I sigh to myself and rub at my temple with a hand.
"Yes, I'm aware that it might seem a tad odd-"
"Just a tad?"
"-but it's something I'm willing to consider at least, as much as I wanna beat you for it." I finally finish myself and glare at the interrupting gnat of a ghost, a vein in my skill pulsating as he shrugs.
"Eh, better than nothing I guess," He responds as he floats away from me, returning to his seemingly claimed spot atop the ruined looking desk, leaning back against the wall. "What are you gonna do here anyways?"
"Well, the only way I know how to get out of here safely is by, ya know, trying to dig into my memories." I purse my lips together as I yank a book from the shelf, flipping through it and glazing over the pages idly. There's no tug, no pull, no drive from this book it seems, nothing more than empty pages of paper.
"What happened the last time you tried to do that? Didn't it blow up in your face?"
"More or less, I don't think it literally exploded, but it had the same effect." I say with a sigh and shove the worthless book of memories back into its original spot, stealing another one from its place. This one's probably worthless too.
"Ever attempt it again?"
"Nope."
"How absolutely fucking fantastic, I'm sure we got this in the bag now." He says with a deadpan tone, a small smile eeking its way into my face as I shove the book back into its rightful spot. Next one.
"You know, I can totally get us out of here without needing that shit." I can feel Adrians ethereal muscles tense as he stiffens.
"Don't you fucking dare." He warns with a hiss, much to my absolute delight.
"Hey don't worry about it, I don't actually wanna do that this time around." I follow up with myself to defuse the tense man, a dejected feeling resting on my chest as I put this book back. It's kind of a pointless venture at this point. I can feel Adrian deflate with a relieved sigh, a short bark of laughter coming out soon after.
"Ah fuck, you actually got me there, are you genuinely learning that pain is bad? I'm so proud of you for growing up Zeke!" A soft snort of laughter pushes its way out of my throat as he speaks, a mocking sing song tone from the bastard.
"I can take the pain, I just don't wanna wake Mabel up, she is sleeping next to me after all." I give up on trying to force a memory and instead lean against the bookshelf instead, looking over to Adrian. The man's oddly silent, his lips formed in a straight line with a strange look on his face, a mix of befuddlement and exasperation. Also anger, can't forget anger.
"By the gods I loathe you, why can't you just be normal for once?" He finally says with an exasperated tone, groaning out loud as bangs the back of his skull against the wall. I don't think he's actually doing it, given the lack of noise and feeling, but it's the thought that counts. He stops soon after though, not entirely sure that it's because he's given up or because he's satisfied though, returning to lazing on the table for the moment. There's not much else to do here, other than hang around, this room really isn't entertaining.
Actually, speaking of this room.
"Hey, Adrian?" The ghosts ears flicker for a moment as I call to him, an eyebrow raised. Huh, is that how an ear flicker looks in someone else's point of view? I wonder if basitin ears are normally so emotive.
"What's up, waste of skin?"
"You said that this room isn't exactly entertaining, have you spent much time in here?" I ask him with a tilt of the head. He hums for a moment, fingers drumming against his leg as he does so. Isn't that something I do? I guess it's not a great surprise that we share the same mannerisms, but still, how adorable.
"Well, in a way I suppose. I'm still stuck watching you be a nuisance all the time like a backseat passenger, but when I don't care for the conversation at hand, I can kind of dip into your head for a bit to try to ignore the conversation. I'm still stuck there, but I'm also here, half and half. Not the best explanation, but you're not the best host, so fuck you." I can't say I'm exactly surprised that he tacked on an insult at the end there, but I don't see a reason to respond to it, he's not really putting much heart into putting me down is he? I rub my chin with a hand as I hum to myself, thoughts brewing in my mind. Such a strange idea though, how fascinating. Not entirely sure I wanna experience it first hand though.
"Is that how you can go through my memories?"
"Eh, not exactly. I can do it whenever, we share a mind you numb nuts, it's just easier here."
"Mn, fair enough. Thanks Adrian." I give the ghost a nod and a smile, snickering internally as he scoffs and looks away, he can't exactly hide the small smile on his face very well though. It's an understandable enough answer to a very abnormal sounding question, at least it's given me something to think about, to pass the time and all. Part of me wishes that it could just be a little bit normal, just a little bit more understandable. Then again, nothing here's very fucking normal is it.
...normal, huh? For a fantasy fuckfest of a world, I've been using normal a fair bit haven't I? I guess normal's relative to what's meant to be abnormal. What is normal, then? What's normal to me, or at the least, the old me? Was there a normal day for me in this world, or at least a normal enough one, one free from shenanigans and fuckery? Did old me have some shards of a heart left to recognise such a thing? I would've spent it with that emerald lady, wouldn't I? What would a simple time, day or night, be like with someone like her?
A strange guttural feeling pulsates through the room like a reinvigorated heart, stumbling away from the bookshelf and struggling to stay on two feet, the hair on the back of my neck standing up right. Adrian shifts away from the thing and beside me, his ears raised as he looks over to me, the scowl on his face does little to hide the worry that plagues him.
"You, what the fuck was that? You did something, didn't you? Did you fucking touch something?"
"I-I didn't touch shit! I was just thinking about things!"
"Seeing as we're in a fucking dream, that probably fucking means something, God fucking dammit Zeke!" The thundering of the room reverberates in my chest, clinging and grinding against my bones as I squeeze my eyes shut, raising my arms to shield them from the blinding light that engulfs the room. It lingers for a while longer before disappearing into dust, coming and going with an unnatural swiftness, blinking away the spots of light that stain my eyes as best as I can. I can hear Adrian groan beside me as I finish myself up, a hand brushing away pained tears as I stare at the bookshelf. There's an odd, yet familiar tugging in my chest, one that I can feel yanking at my heart, the thundering of it dying slowly dying down.
"Huh, I guess I did something right there." I comment idly as I waltz over to the bookshelf, running my hands over the blank spines. The tugging in my heart only intensifies, even as trepidation lingers around it.
"Ugh, what the fuck do you mean to 'did something right'? What did you do?" I can't see him float beside me, but I can definitely feel his presence, his scornful sounding grumbling echoes throughout the room. I don't answer him though, falling into the enticing pull from the bookshelf. It's not on this row, maybe the next one then? The books feel strange on my fingertips, and the longer I search, the more doubt seems to fill my mind. What if all this is just a farce, or something that doesn't lead into anything? I purse my lips together as a chill strikes through my skull, pulling me away from the shelf for a moment, ignoring it as best as I can. Come on, I know it's close dammit.
"Fantastic, you've lost your mind haven't you?" Little bastard isn't really helping, is he? I can feel his gaze piercing through me even as he floats around my body. I freeze for a moment as my fingers brush over a spine, latching onto it for dear life and yanking it from the shelf.
"This one, this is the one with memories, I think so anyways." I mumble aloud as I rub my hand over the cover, the tugging that surrounds my heart seems to have disappeared though, it's guiding hand lost to the wind. I can't help but worry more cause of it, maybe I was too late for… whatever the fuck this is.
"You still haven't told me what you did, fuckhead." I feel my nose crinkle as he flicks it with a finger, rubbing it with a hand in an attempt to smother the irksome chill. This motherfucker.
"I just, well, kinda went into my thoughts for a little while, thinking bout what a normal day would be for the old me. So that's what I think this memory is, just a day off with that emerald chick." I finally explain to the ghost, holding it up to show the book off to him. He hums to himself and brushes a finger against his chin, it doesn't really look like he's genuinely examining the thing though.
"Your priorities really are kind of fucked, first the carpet, then about waking the kid up, now this? Out of any day you could've thought of, you think of what's probably the most potentially boring one?" I sigh to myself and pull it away from him, back to my side it goes.
"It's not like I knew that it was gonna happen or anything, it was just something that I was thinking of. But hey, if I can influence the possible memories we dig up, it'd be a fair bit better than praying to whatever god's above that we get something useful. Besides, we could learn more about that emerald chick." That seems to have gotten his attention at least, with the way he squints his eyes as he looks down to me. God, I'm still not exactly used to this, it feels fucking weird.
"I mean, I suppose it can, but that's if it works. Something tells me that you're not exactly confident in that though." I smile awkwardly and rub the back of my neck as he eyes me down.
"Well, I can't exactly say that I know what I'm doing for sure, can I? This is a first for me, for the both of us, we might as well take a leap of faith. It doesn't help that I might've lost the tugging feeling that I normally used to find the piece of shit memory at the very end of this too, so this may or may not actually be the right cook."
"So you have no idea what you're doing, you have no idea if it'll work, and even if it does work, it might blow up in our face?" He speaks in such an accusatory tone, I can see his eyelids flicker from spot to spot as he continues to examine me. Kind of feels like he's an overprotective exasperated parent to be honest, or an elder brother.
"More or less, it's not gonna explode, probably." He lets out a long lasting groan of discomfort, a hand reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose.
"Alright, fuck me then, whatever."
"Don't tell me you're scared of a book, Adrian."
"I'm not scared, I'm cautious, at least one of us has to be. " He finishes that with a huff, crossing his arms with a miffed look on his face. "It's not like I can stop you or anything, just don't throw us into the fire."
He seems to drop the conversation soon afterwards, his gaze glancing between myself and the book as he floats above. Hesitation grabs my heart as I drag my thumb over the papers, it feels like a crusty and fragile thing, old and well worn. Alright Zeke, final step, even if this doesn't work, we'll find another way out of here, right? Nice and easy, what's the worst that could happen?
The sound of crackling and snapping comes from the book, from what I assume to be disuse as I force it open, pages sticking together as I flip through them, that tugging feeling reigniting in my chest as I do so. Ah, there we go, totally knew that this was the right one. The pages seem to take a mind of its own, flipping through itself, albeit a bit slower than I remember, holding it out and away from my chest. The book itself rumbles energetically as the wrathful thwipping of the pages turns it into a wildfire of crusty paper, raising my arms to shield from the blinding light that comes forth from it.
The world turns black, and Adrians yelp is the last thing I hear before it's drowned out by a painful silence that rings in my damned skull.
…..
The cold bite of the morning wind nips at the edges of my fingertips like a teething wolf, I feel the sweat on my brow clinging to me for dear life as I hack into the target, a growl clogging up my throat.
Failure.
A stab of pain pulsates through my skull for a moment as I raise my blade up high.
How could you? You swore yourself to your duty
It digs into the target once, then twice, my chest heaving as my lungs burn, the hewing swing digging into it in a flurry of fury.
You failed Her.
My muscles tense and scream into nothingness as I bash it to a bloody pulp, that irksome pain flaring up in my head seems to linger for a bit longer than usual, my spare hand clutching my skull as I hunch over, gasping ragged breaths as I look down to the mess. The splintered remains of a wooden carcass is all that greets me, driven into the mud and laid to waste.
Complete and utter failure. Couldn't even do my damned job, let alone kill that traitorous bastard.
There's nothing else for me to do to this thing, such a duty is more suited to the slaves that work here than myself. At least they can do their job.
"Awh, looks like you're a little pent up, dear~" Her sultry silky voice washes over my skull, muscles relaxing ever so slightly as I turn the Her. She's clad in a flowing red dress that hangs off of her body, fur lined across her neck that trails down from her collarbone to her sides for warmth, there's that seemingly everlasting mischievous glint that lives in her glistening green eyes, a scheming little smile on her face. My gaze lingers on Her for a moment too long before standing to attention, arms to my side as I bow to her.
"Mistress." I reply curtly, my eyes stuck to the dirt even as I hear Her approach. Her beauty is a sight to behold and a gift, gifts are not given wantonly, especially to those who don't deserve the privilege.
"Still feeling a bit uptight, deary? You know I don't fault you for that mess of a mission, I truly don't." A shiver runs up my spine as she continues to approach, her covered heels digging into the dirt below. The tip of her nails dig into the flesh of my chest as she gently prods at it, sliding up until she reaches my face, cupping it with a hand. Still, I do not gaze upon Her, the slowly beating heart in my chest wringing and writhing inside.
"Failure is not an acceptable outcome, Mistress. I will accept any punishment bestowed upon myself." I say in as flat a voice as possible, my vision blurring for a moment. Failure, such an abhorrent word, one that could aptly be used to describe myself. The hand that cups my face squeezes ever so softly, a tender and loving touch, even as she pulls my head up to face her. There's a small frown on Her face as she looks down to me, fingers gently drumming against my cheek, I struggle to maintain eye contact with her. Do I still fail her, even now? Is that why she looks down to me with such sadness, such pity?
"My poor, poor little dear…" She whispers softly to me, the soft jingling of her loving voice dancing in my skull as she grips the back of it, dragging me close to her. My muscles tense as she pressess my head against her chest, a flurry of thoughts melding together in my skull. Why is she doing this, and why for me? Am I truly deserving of such forgiveness, what is this feeling that plagues my chest, am I falling ill? Those thoughts die rather quickly, a soft hand cupping my ears, the digging and massaging between two fingers placates the noise in my skull, a shuddering sigh escaping my chest as she does so.
"I believe that I owe you an apology, my dear." I can feel my heart fight between freezing and increasing the intensity of its beats, my mouth forced agape, naught but stuttering escaping from it. An apology, from her? "I believe that I may have put a bit too much stress and other things on you, and that's no one's fault but my own."
Stress? Stress!? I am a basitin, a warrior set upon a life of servitude to Her, a truly beloved being, I should not succumb to something such as stress. Regardless, what apology would I deserve from her beyond the dirt beneath her heels?
"My dear, do you know why I set you upon that mission?" Her voice is as soft as silk and as clear as crystal, a barely subdued whine smothered in my chest as her hand glides down my ears, forcing me to look up to her. Such, such gorgeous green eyes, pools of emerald…
"T-to escort the guards stationed at a town to another location, Mistress." She nods gently, her fingers brushing through my hair as she smiles.
"That's right, and did you expect to be taken off from the directed path by your team mate who disobeyed orders?"
"No, Mistress." I could've done more, should've done more, but I was under specific instructions to not harm or maim those two
"Did you expect that guardsman to attack that wandering slaver to free his stock?" My ears flatten as she whispers harshly, a deep frown forcing itself onto her face. That disgusting memory invites itself into my mind, the ember of loathsome vehemence flaring up in my chest for a moment. Such a disgusting thing to do, they're all perverse lesser degenerates who deserve nothing less, why would a guard turn his back on his own code to assault a man?
"No, Mistress."
"Then why are you so worried about it, dear? I know how you work, I gave you orders that ended up directly contributing to the failure of the mission, much my chagrin. It's more my fault than your own." It's hard to look away from her, but it's harder to keep looking into her eyes, it's as if she's staring straight through me.
"I still disobeyed orders myself, Mistress, and failed the mission alongside it." That gives her pause, panic clutching my chest as she hums, my shoulders tensing up. By the Masks, what did I just do there?
"While your hostility towards that particular guardsman was warranted, the needless destruction of that man's stock is less so, I've heard plenty about how wild and sloppy you were in that moment, that man has lungs to last. Seriously dear, I don't mind paying for you out of my pocket, but perhaps you could give me a heads up?" I know she's just trying to tease me, she has that lovely demon woman smile on her face, but I barely feel worthy of it, my tail wrapping around my leg as she stares. There's little for me to say, as much as I loathe the existence of them, and as much as I love the bloodrush of a battle, I recall my memories of those moments as… disturbingly hazy.
"Hun, what did you do yesterday?" My ears flicker as she suddenly speaks, feeling returning to my body.
"I trained and followed orders from you, Mistress."
"The day before that?"
"Almost identical, Mistress."
This goes on for a while, a delighted flicker in my chest as I answer each question quickly and effectively. Some days are far more memorable than others, such as the day I tore the traitor away from his unworthy home. I can follow orders, I'm good at my job Mistress! The light feeling in my heart sinks as she frowns, a creeping dread clawing into my chest. Did I do something wrong?
"...my dear, have you been getting enough sleep?" That's not quite the question I expected from her, though it's one I'll answer dutifully.
"There is minimal time to sleep Mistress, though I often sleep from midnight to sunrise." A sleeping pattern I wish I could shorten to be truthful, one cannot be vigilant whilst asleep.
"When was the last time you had a break from doing work?"
"It's never been required, Mistress." My heart continues to plummet as the frown on her face deepens, a hazy look behind her emerald eyes.
"...when was the last time we spent time together, not to work, but to relax?" I can't help but hesitate despite myself, I can't lie, not to her, the hesitation that injects itself into me won't stop it.
"It's my job to allow you to relax through the orders you've given me, Mistress, to relax myself is to waste time." The looming dread that stabs into my chest continues to drive itself deep inside me, her face wracked with… disappointment? Have I continued to disappoint her?
"My favourite knight, I've a very special order for you." She says in a soft whisper, soft enough that I can barely hear it. It's strange to see her like this, shes always carried herself with a proud and powerful aura, her strengths matched the demand for respect. Is this a way to mend this situation, perhaps?,
"Anything for you, Mistress." Anything at all, give me the order and I shan't fail you repeatedly, a second chance is more than what's deserved when under her care.
"Leave your equipment behind, and walk with me, spend today with me and relax for once." Such a strange, strange order, one I've never received before, though I'm not one to rebuke such a demand.
"Should you wish it, I shall comply." She giggles softly, her hand cupping my cheek as she continues to look down to me, an odd soothing feeling thrumming throughout my body.
"You really need to lighten up, my dear, don't hesitate to let loose a bit, and to ask questions. Who knows, maybe you could end up asking the right things~" Ask questions? To what exactly? It's not my right to pry, only to obtain more information. She giggles again, a more devious tone held within it as she leans down to me, I can feel her lips brush against the fur of my cheek, a hot breath of air mingling within my ear. "Maybe you could ask me to show off my ankles, for once."
I can feel my face ignite, the heat burning down to my neck and up to my ears as I pull away from Her, her delighted laughter echoing throughout the open field with a terrible glee, my hand raised to cover my burning cheeks as much as possible, a scowl forcing itself on my face. Damned demon woman.
"I've no earthly clue as to why that gets such a reaction out of you, but it's something I shall treasure for as long as possible, you're more fun when you're a blushing mess." She pinches my cheek with a soft touch before swivelling, waltzing out of the field. Keep your eyes away from her hips, dammit. "Hurry along now, and please don't try to cause a scene with anyone, relaxing doesn't usually entail such violence."
I hold the sword to my side as I follow behind Her, a small bit of joy flickering in my chest. Such a task would be simple enough to complete, after all.
"And please put a shirt on, I like the view, but others won't share my tastes."
She barks another laugh as my face continues to burn, fingertips twitching by my side. Demon woman.
…..
The gnawing of the cold air lacks the bite it once had, it can't gum it's way through the bundling cloth that hangs off of me, a deep dark brown shirt seems as if it'd attract less attention than my armour. Loathe as I am to go about without it, She made it clear that it'd be wiser to keep the Templar affiliation under wraps and to remain conspicuous, at least for now. I've no inkling as to why, there's quite an obvious difference between myself and any human that roams these streets, but I shan't question it. To question authority, such an idea brings me nothing but dread to even think about, it grinds against my very being, but if it's an order to question it, then what am I to do?
"How are you finding this little walk so far, my dear?" Her silky voice gently guides me out of my thoughts, her head turned back to face me with a dainty smile on her face. Best to not stare too long, lest she takes notice.
"This walk is, strange, I'm surprised that no one's attempted to approach us." I turn my sight on the crowd that walks beside and around us, a few shifting eyes looking towards me for a moment before turning away is the only sign that we've been noticed.
"Oh? Why's that, dear?" She tilts her head as that smile of her widens, deftly brushing past the oncoming crowd gracefully despite her sight being turned to face me. She said that she doesn't mind questions, correct? Perhaps this is her attempt to nudge me in such a direction.
"I believed that you would be known among the crowds here, or possibly sought after." Her light giggling pierces through the murmuring of the crowd, a mischievous glint behind her eyes as she winks before turning away.
"Those who should know me do, those who shouldn't know better than to spread it around. These people are off in their own worlds, their own lives, why would I give myself away for a little bit of recognition?" Her answer only breeds more questions within my mind, ones that I feel hesitant to ask. She's given me the order, therefore I shall.
"I do not entirely understand, My Lady, you're more than powerful enough without the help of others, what is the purpose behind it?" She stops in her tracks, my claws scratching against the stone as I stop behind her. Oh no, did I offend her? My heart quickens as she turns to me, a small proud smile on her face as she clasps her hands together.
"Awh, do you really think that highly of me, deary~?" My cheeks burn as she plants her hand atop my head, her fingers gently digging into it, much to my displeasure. Demon woman.
"Naturally. Ones power shouldn't be understated, especially yours, My Lady." Her gleeful smile doesn't persist for very long, the lovely thing turning tender as she drags her nails down my cheek. The swarming of the crowd continues, though they do not interrupt either of us, either they don't wish to acknowledge us or they don't care.
"I know your kind holds physical strength to a high degree, but there's other ways to get what you want, guile is not to be underestimated in certain… let's say situations, shall we?" Her smile looks almost saddened for a moment, her thumb brushing across my cheek as she leans down to me. "Besides, I've lived long enough to know what I personally prefer, though your brute strength does compliment it well enough."
My head instinctively tilts as I look up to her, a soothing feeling spreading throughout my chest.
"Lived long enough? You look far from old, My Lady." Her bark of laughter is a sharp one, it catches me by surprise as a delight dances behind her eyes, lips curled into a mischievous smile.
"Hah! And here I was thinking that you didn't know how to compliment a woman to save your life." The fire in my cheeks reignites as she continues to laugh, the clogging of my throat doesn't assist with the situation either. Is that a compliment with human females, or did she just take it as one? Was I wrong to say it? By the Masks, is it an intimate compliment? The raging thoughts that afflict my mind comes to a screeching halt as a soft feeling is pressed on my forehead, a tingling warmth spreading throughout it and down to my paws. I can't seem to speak, my mouth opening and shutting as she giggles again. Wha? I don't, what?
"Haaah, you're a cute kid, aren't you? Oh so easy to fluster, and oh so fun!" An irked huff of air pushes itself out of my throat as she presses a thumb against my forehead, that tingling sensation lingering alongside it. I'm not a kid, though I don't have the heart to refute her, there's a strange… peaceful sensation that rests on my chest, despite being surrounded by humans. What is this feeling? Such serenity is almost uncomfortable, but not entirely unwelcome, it clashes with the familiar lust for battle and order. I'm not entirely sure how to process it, but the feeling of her touch is more than enough.
"Alright, that's enough of that, keep up with me darling!" It takes me a moment to process her waltzing away, though I catch up to her quickly. The crowd thins out as we continue our march, the buildings that surround us is an unfamiliar sight. The only thing that's familiar about this place is the Templar tower that looms over us, a chill running up my spine as I look to the abomination. Such a disgusting thing.
"We're here, my dear." She suddenly stops in front of me, standing beside her as I look towards the little building. It's a strange thing, a grandiose sign of unfamiliar human dialect emblazoned above the doorway, a small number of people walking in and out of the place, the sight of humans seated at tables visible behind the swinging door.
"This is a restaurant, right?" I turn my neck to face Her, there's a proud smile on her face that reddens my cheeks, her hand resting atop my head.
"Mhm! I'm taking you out for some good food, better than the disgusting gruel you get in those Templar barracks, I don't know how you can stand those things." She shivers even as she continues to ruffle my hair, a small smile forcing its way on my face. This is, this is nice, I'm far from used to such affection, and such a thing would see me berated back home… but this isn't home, is it? I'm with Her.
"My Lady, may I ask a question?" I suppose that question within itself is a question, but she nods regardless, a beaming smile on her face.
"With a smile like that kid? Of course, what are you wondering about?" It still feels strange to ask questions, even though her voice is as sweet as honey about it.
"I'm not exactly known for my sensitivity for mission related matters, you know what I've done, nor would I believe myself worthy of such things. I don't wish to sound like I'm complaining, but why does she treat me like this?" My throat feels somewhat raw as I question her, talking even for this long is not something I've had time to prepare for. There's that mischievous smirk though, something synonymous with Her in most points of the day.
"I thought it was obvious my dear, I play favourites, I did say you were my favourite after all." My cheeks burn again as she looks down to me with a caring stare, something that she clearly notices with her affectionate touchings.
"Why am I favoured, My Lady? Is there something I've done to warrant such a thing?"
"Of course, your brawn is a fantastic compliment to my own… way of doing things let's say, should it be needed. Of course, there are other reasons." My head tilts as I look up to her, a confused feeling rushing through my chest.
"Other reasons?" A delighted bark of laughter is her answer, a lopsided smirk on her face as she ruffles my head.
"That's a secret, dear, I'll tell you some time later. Now! Let's get some food, I personally believe that you'd enjoy the lobsters here…" Her hand snags my arm with a tender grip, pulling me towards her as she approaches the building. A small smile forces itself on my face as she drags me along, despite my best efforts.
A lovely demon woman.
…
My eyes snap open as I gasp for air, my trembling legs fail to keep me upright, falling to a knee, confused thoughts buzzing around in my skull. What the fuck? What's going on, where am I? What am I doing here? I force my eyes shut and take in deep breaths, the thunderous beating of my heart dying down as I calm myself.
Right, dream, memory thing, I guess that memory came to a close, why does my head feel so confused? God, this feels beyond strange, this isn't where I should've woken up. Adrian, are you there? What's going on?
I hold back my breath as I wait for a reply, nothing arrives, the only company within my mind is that incessant buzzing that rings inside it. I sigh softly, standing upright as carefully as I can, the tremble in my legs doesn't seem too keen on leaving me alone. Fuck it, I've walked through worse, I can brute force the issue.
Looking around this place doesn't exactly give me any clue on what's going on, a wooden and bare corridor towards a single exit, of which is a very plain wooden door. The atmosphere in this place is an uncomfortably cold one, it nips at my ankles and weighs upon my chest, a shiver running up my spine. I suppose I'm meant to walk forward, then? There's not much else for me to do. I purse my lips together and spare a glance behind me, a seemingly endless abyss returning my gaze, such deep dark blackness doesn't exactly give off welcoming vibes. Well fuck then, I guess I'm definitely meant to move forward.
Each sluggish step sends a minor jolt of pain and annoyance lancing through my nerves while I move towards the end, stumbling my way into the door. It flings open at the slightest touch, stumbling through the thing, swinging shut with a violent shuddering. I stand in silence as the noise of metal grinding against metal fills the air, a locking sound following in its footsteps soon after. Well fuck you too then, I didn't wanna go back anyways.
Shelves line the walls as I continue my sluggish walk, some emptied of any content, some stuffed to the brim with scrolls and books. A spark of recognition ignites in my head, it forces me to stumble through the continued hallway with a renewed haste. Hah, I got a hunch in where this is going.
The walls that surround me fade into black, a small smile gracing my face as a bright light shines through the dark, raising an arm to shield myself from the brilliance of it. It fades quick enough, the endless corridor replaced with an oh so familiar room, the table at the other side of it is particularly memorable.
I let out a sigh of relief as I plant my ass down on the chair, a dull pain throbbing in my legs.
"Welcome back, Zeke." Her cold voice fills my ears as she shifts into view, clad in that black robe of hers, piercing blue eyes staring into me as she clasps her hand together. She's as emotionless sounding as I recall.
"Told you that I'd remember you." I say with a grin, resting my chin atop a hand as I relax into the table.
"One would hope your memory is not so deplorable as to forget something so soon after first meeting it, we're both aware that you've forgotten things at an astounding rate." I flinch a little and click my tongue on my teeth, can't really say much bout that one can I?
"You got me there, miss. So, what are we doing here for now?" I lean back into the chair, stretching out my arms and legs as best I can, might as well try to get comfortable here.
"A few things to discuss, for you to reflect on. How do you feel about the killings as of now?" Cold and emotionless as always, though at least free of judgement, was she like this in real life too, or is this just how i perceived her in the past? I suppose it doesn't matter too much, in the end.
"I don't feel too bad, at least not right now, I suppose having time with friends helped out with it. I can't imagine that it would've been smooth sailing if I was stuck alone with my thoughts and nothing else."
"And would you kill again, for need or want to do so?"
"Ich, only as a last resort would I do that again, I'm not so far gone that I'd turn into a psycho," Spitting that out leaves a bit more than just a bitter taste in my mouth, even if the lady nods in acknowledgement. I hum and look around the room for a moment, a frown making its way onto my face. "Hey, where's the little buddy? I thought they'd be around here."
"It is currently resting at the moment, Zeke, drained of energy from your initial venture into this place." I let out a small 'ah' of realisation as I nod, drumming my fingers against the desk.
"Are they gonna be okay?"
"It will recuperate in time, and your worry would be appreciated by it too." A happy sigh escapes through my breath, a small smile on my face. I'm glad that they'll be alright, I'd be sad to learn if they're harmed or anything. "Should we move to another subject, Zeke?"
"Is there more to talk about?"
"Naturally. It's rather difficult to hide your emotions and thoughts from someone who's inside your mind. Even withouth that, it's rather obvious that you'd have quite a few thoughts about your most recent memory," I grumble to myself as my tongue clicks, god dammit, can't hide shit from people in my fucking head huh?
"Of course not, Zeke."
Pfeh.
"It's, kind of weird to talk about, if I'm gonna be honest."
"Why is that Zeke?"
"I've spent a lot of time brooding about what I've done in the past while being scared shitless bout it, thinki- no, knowing that I've been a piece of shit, to see something like that mess just makes me…" I purse my lips as I trail off, twisting my wrist in the air. What would be the right word for this situation anyways?
"You feel conflicted about what you saw, because it directly contradicts what you know of your past self."
"Yeah, there you go, doesn't help that the very start of that memory brings up something awful I've done, too." I say in a mumble, placing my hands back into my lap. I guess that answers what I did to piss off Alex and Lucas, if only in passing, I wonder how they're going anyways.
"How do you currently feel about knowing such things now?" She continues to question me after a short moment. I hum to myself, mulling over my thoughts for a second.
"Confused, I suppose. It's nice to know a bit more about my past, but it's only given me more questions, you know? Things like who that emerald lady actually is, what was my relationship with her? I always thought she'd be a bit different, is that how she normally is? Why the fuck was I so small?" I intend to lighten the mood a little bit with the last question, it does something for me at least, though the strange lady doesn't show any reaction to it, cold blue eyes staring, unblinking. Thought I'd get some reaction from her, so damned aloof.
"Such questions is something that only you can figure the answer to, Zeke, something to keep in mind in the future. We both know that you're planning on delving further into your memories, whatever ones you find possible of course." I nod along to her as I hum to myself, sure I'll have the help of Adrian when I'm awake, but that's not right now is it?
"Eh, I'll deal with it later, probably." I wave a hand dismissively, I'll bounce ideas off of Adrian when we wake up. The lady nods, just the once.
"Understandable, do be sure to keep it in mind, lest it slips from memory. Although I'd imagine your Other would kick you into gear."
"Heh, probably would."
"You've a strange deal of respect for him, don't you? Despite being a pessimistic fragment of your own mind, you treat him as if he's a person." I can't help but pause for a moment, hesitating as I rub the back of my neck.
"Well, yeah, despite him being a bit of a shithead sometime, he's still begrudgingly good at times. It's nice to have someone to talk to whenever, it helps me feel less alone. It's hard to see him as less than his own person too, I feel like he's changed a bit, his insults have a bit less bite than they used to." She nods along as I speak, it's surprisingly nice to talk about him so openly honestly, even if he can't hear me do so. Still not sure on how to think with that little magic episode we had that one time, shit scared me half to death, but I don't fault him for it. He can't actually control what i see after all, though I hope there's no more… hallucinations I guess, or delusions, whatever the fuck the word is.
"Why is it that you feel the need to omit details about our little meetings, then?" My mind halts for a moment as the gears inside turn, biting the insides of my cheek.
"...I'm not sure, really, I just haven't felt the want to."
"Do you think he'd take personal offence to being kept in the dark?"
"Probably, I don't think he'd be used to that. But at the same time, he knows things that I can't remember, hidden deep in my mind, isn't it close enough to the same thing?"
"Potentially, I've not an inkling as to how he would think, although he seems the more pragmatic out of the both of you, wouldn't some of the information he could give be seen as pointless should it not assist in your survival? Although the same could be said about this conversation, should you choose to see it that way."
"I guess so…" I trail off for a bit, there's not much else I can tack onto that, dipping into my thoughts to think. He just wants me to live, right? To live and to jab at me occasionally, I guess I can at least try to understand that.
"It could always be possible that you don't trust him."
"Fuck no!" My legs flare up in pain as I launch up straight, my hands digging into the wooden table as I glare down to the lady. The moment of anger dies down as quickly as it arrived, though, the only thing left in my chest is a smoldering embarrassment, my cheeks burning as I sit down. "S-sorry, shouldn't have gotten pissed there, that was rude. I do trust him, he's tried his best to look after me, to varying degrees of success, but his ghostly heart's in the right place for the most part. It's just, I dunno how to say it…"
"It could be that you don't have a reason behind it beyond your own wish to do so, there need not be a reason behind every action after all." I continue to gently gnaw at my cheek as I stare into the table, trying to think of something.
"Isn't that kind of, you know, selfish?"
"Potentially, it could also be a matter of perspective on what could be the best option in a situation from one individual to another. You wouldn't be the first to act for self gain though, and you won't be the last, not all humans are predictable or easy to read after all."
"Yeah yeah, I know. I'm not the best with judging a persons character though, am I? Hell, my best friend is a human that hates non humans, and probably hated my very existence when we first met.'
"Even one with the face of a monster can have humanity to themselves, as can the opposite be true. People mesh and meld in conflicting ways, with varying results." Gods, this conversation's really taking it out of me, I can feel my eyelids droop more with each passing second.
"We could end this little session right here, should you wish."
"Nah nah, I'm okay, I can keep going on for a bit longer. I'm just, really really fucking confused. That lady seemed to relish in my more brute like actions, but also seemed to coddle me, fucking coddle me dammit, who the fuck does that?"
"That lady, as is clear enough. Her motives are far from clear currently, though it seems that she thoroughly enjoyed your past actions. Perhaps she took some pity on you, though, and wished to meld you into someone else." I think over the memory as best I can with the thickening haze that clouds my mind, trying to shake it off when I can.
"With how she acted? I guess I could see that, she probably saw something to turn me into for whatever reason." I say with a scoff, an odd irked feeling stirring in my chest. Whatever she saw in the old me is likely as dead as I once was, sure there's some bits of my old personality that lingers inside me, but I'm not exactly the same person any more. Hell, I could've been a bit of a prickish person in both lives, who knows.
"It's possible that she decided to 'play favourites' simply because she wished, you do know very little about her beyond murmurings and scarce memories. Do you find her actions within that dream to be a bit familiar to you?"
"Uh… probably? It's a dream, it's probably a little bit familiar, I'm not sure what you're getting at here." I tilt my head as I stare at her, the woman actually shuffles ever so slightly in her seat. Probably the largest reaction I've gotten from her.
"I'm questioning as to whether or not you believe that the way you've fawned over Miss Mabel to be similar to how the lady did to you, once." That question catches me off guard, surprisingly, raising an eyebrow as I keep eye contact with her.
"Eh? Not really, the way she acted was more, you know, sultry and manipulative. She wanted to change me, for better or for worse, I don't want Mabel to change herself. I want her to grow into her own person, I want to give her the fucking chance that this shitty world took from her. Hell, I don't even want her to see me as a role model, I'd prefer to just be a guardian of some kind until she grows up, whenever that may be. She's got a strong heart and a good head on her shoulders, I just want something to give her a chance to put that mind to use. Also, doing the exact same shit that she did to me with a kid is fucking gross, I don't care that she's technically gonna be an adult soon or some shit cause of how they age." I end that little tirade with a huff, crossing my arms as I stick my tongue out to her. I know that I could've kept that to myself and her opinion would be the same though. To my surprise, I can see the edge of a lip curl upwards, only very slightly and on one side, but I can see it!
"It's a wonder to all that you harbour in your mind as to how you've latched onto the girl so closely, though it could potentially be for the better. A strong connection to clear the soul could do well with both parties after all."
"I can see exactly what you mean right now ice queen, I can see that smile of yours through your icy facade!"
"Perhaps your current nature has rubbed off in this room in some way, your 'little buddy' would appreciate such a change. Though I'm not sure on how ice queen is a suitable name for myself, nor should one be given to me."
"Oh? Do you have an idea on what your name should be?"
"It will not be required, though your persistence is noted."
"The longer I remember you, the more of a chance that I'll get to call you something for once, other than 'that lady' anyways." A sudden fatiguing wave washes over my body, my eyelids growing heavy as the room itself rumbles, clutching to the table for support as I look around. Wha- ah, right.
"It looks as if we've run out of time, Zeke. You're due to awaken soon." A small smile falls on my face as I chuckle, giving the lady a wink.
"Same time tomorrow night, deary?"
"Potentially, should your mind and the higher powers allow such a thing." The darkness creeps along the edge of my vision, encircling and smothering even as I give the icy lady a small, final nod.
"Good night, Zeke."
And a good morning to her.
Author's note: an extra long chapter for the small wait, though this will probably be an exception rather than a rule to chapter size. It was fun though, and I'd rather this than split it in two, though that mightn't be for everyone. Whata shitty hiatus, I accidentally a 10k chapter when I'm meant to be chilling.