Consciousness slowly returns to me, the gentle ringing of bells and chimes accompanying an overwhelming and welcoming warmth that dances alongside it, my hand resting atop a soft mound of fur and warmth. Ah, I'm still dreaming then, aren't I? Or at least, I haven't come to full consciousness just yet and I'm partially dreaming. That's fine, I'm not gonna complain, this shit is warm as hell. I bring the warmth closer to my chest with a sigh of delight, I'll be more than happy to indulge in this for a bit longer, I'm surprised Adrian hasn't stuck his head into this to fuck with me.
I'm not quite sure how long I've spent in this half away state, a wondrous feeling of delight shoving itself into my limbs and pressing down. I don't wanna move anyways, this is like, the best I've ever gotten, I ain't gonna let it go just yet. A tired sounding sigh leaves my lips as I gently squeeze the ball of warmth, and yet, I've more than a few things to do today don't I? Mostly with Anna, definitely Anna, no idea why I have such a feeling of ominous foreboding that clings to my mind when I think about our inevitable 'chat', bit there you go. There's also the little friend meet up that I promised Felicity, so long as her father allows it ,but I don't wanna move, son of a bitch.
Ugh..
Oh hey, a welcome distraction! How are you feeling Adrian?
I feel like shit, like I've had someone mash my skull in with a hammer in the middle of a hangover.
Ich, quite a description there Adrian.
Go ich yourself, I don't even have the energy to properly snark you for being an annoying bastard.
Now that's genuinely worrying, you gonna be alright?
I've been through worse, I live in your head after all.
And now you're just lying to me, tsk tsk. I kinda figured that you'd find a way to give me your snide bullshit in some way or another, even if it's just that tiny bit. All that besides, you really should just try to lay low for today and try to relax, however possible that may be, given the whole shtick between us.
Perhaps, though I'm somewhat hesitant to attempt so, I fully expect you to try to headbutt something hard to fuck with me to be honest.
Hey, I'm dumb, but I'm not intentionally malicious or anything, for the most part anyways. Seriously though, there's nothing wrong with taking a break, I'm the one walking around anyways.
I'm sure it'll fade eventually, but why do you care so much to begin with?
What sort of question is that? You're a friend, inside my mind or not, why wouldn't I care? That seems to force the man to pause for a while, my eyelids twitching for a moment, on the verge of being forced open. C'mon, lemme enjoy this dammit!
...just, stay out of trouble please? If you need me for whatever reason, just yell for me. I'm gonna pray to whatever god's above us in hopes that you don't fuck this up somehow.
I'll do my best, just try your best to relax, okay? He seems to take his leave with that send off, I can feel him burrowing his way back into my skull, and I can't help but worry, just a little bit. Is he okay, did I do something to him? I purse my lips together as I squrim in the blankets, the allure of sleep fading into dark. Well fuck me then, no chance I fall back asleep now.
I rub away the sleep that clings to my eye as they open, my vision filled with brown and white. I pull myself away from the wonderfully warm mound of fluff, the sudden lack of heat biting into my chest. Wha? What's going o- Ah, right, Mabel and stuff, we fell asleep didn't we? Shit, how the fuck could I forget about all that? A small smile pushes its way onto my face as I bring her sleeping form closer, the girls loud purring filling my ears. I really don't know how I couldn't hear the purring, I guess I must've been in my own world.
I don't have the heart to wake her, so I resign myself to being a fuzzy pillow for her, a soft smile on her face as she continues to snooze away. It feels odd to keep such an eye on her while she's asleep, but it's an endearing sight, nothing but a look of comfort and peace smattered across her face. This is probably one of the few times she's had a bed to sleep on, and I wouldn't wanna pull her away from that so soon. It's, I really think she needs something like this, even if it's just for a little bit.
I can feel her shudder within my grasp while her nose twitches, a soft whimper piercing through the once still air, her hands clenching together. I feel a grimace force its way onto my face along with the clenching in my chest, gently pulling her even closer into the warmth, a hand massaging one of her twitching ears in an attempt to soothe her. It seems to some good, the whimpering slowly stifling as the clenching of her hands soften and slows, her soft breathing returning once more. My heart aches for the poor girl as I look over her now calmed body, even if that single dream was warded off, it's just a temporary solution for a longer lasting issue. Fuck, I wish I was better with kids, but this will have to do for now.
I hum to myself as she shuffles within my grasp, the girl mumbling softly as she awakens, it's a rather slow process that I can't fault her for. She slowly blinks away the sleep, looking up to me with a barely awake stare, half lidded eyes obscuring most of her glowing golden eyes.
"Bad dream, kid?" It's far from a fantastic question, the answer's rather obvious after all, but she gives me a small nod before resting her forehead against my chest. I guess I am the pillow here, it works for me.
"Do you want to talk about it?" She shakes her head, a very slow and deliberate answer, her shuddering breath only amplifies it too. I can feel my heart ache some more as I smile sadly, rubbing a digit behind her ear, ever so softly.
"No pressure, kid. We'll stay here for a bit longer, you deserve it." I speak in a low voice to her, petting her head in a slow and soft rhythm, that shuddering and terrible breathing slowly dissipating. She mumbled aloud as she shifts her head, a small frown on her face as she looks to the door.
"Miss Anna.." Her voice is soft and throaty, that frown only deepening as she continues to stare. Anna, eh? Why's she worried about her?
"Are you worried that she'd be upset if we sleep in?" I take a stab in the dark as I keep an eye on her. She doesn't answer verbally, softly nodding as she leans back against me. Huh, I'm surprised that I guessed it correctly there. "She won't mind it, she'd want you to get some more sleep."
"Are you sure?" She places her chin against my chest as she looks up to me, her eyes glowing in the lingering darkness of the room. I smile and ruffle her hair, chuckling softly as her ears twitch. I'm gonna die from a sugar overdose from this kid, sweet girl.
"Without a doubt in my mind, Mabel, I swear on it. If anything, she'd probably wanna yell at me for something or other, hell if I know why." My little grumbling isn't meant to be serious in the slightest, and I'm glad that the kid doesn't take it that way either, her lovely little giggling chiming within my head as she relaxes into the bed. I continue to smile as I caress her head, her purring returning once more as she nudges into my hand. Heh, she really reminds me of a cat right now.
We'll have to get up eventually, no doubt about it, plans and food and whatnot. But just lazing in with her for a bit so she can relax is more than fine enough with me. A yawn breaks through my maw, my smile widening as the kids muffled giggling echoes in the air. You know what? I don't think a bit more of a nap would do either of us any harm.
Just a few more minutes
….
The air it's needlessly stiff and tense as Anna glares into me with a resolute focus, her fingers drumming against the table. Mabel squirms in her seat with an uncomfortable look across her face, my gaze shifting between the two of them mid movement.
"Zeke." That single word is a barely veiled warning mixed between a scalding tone, the furrow of her brow deepening with each passing second.
"Anna." I say with a level tone of my own, meeting her glare with a calm stare, wiggling the plate as I do so. I don't know why she's making this such a big deal.
"Eat your damned breakfast."
"But I'm not that hungry."
"Do not paw off your plate to the kid."
"But she needs food."
"So do you."
"I'm really not hungry, Anna."
"Your cheeks look sunken in and I know you haven't eaten since last night, eat the breakfast that I've cooked up dammit."
"A growing kid needs food."
"You are the growing kid."
"Anna please, I'm an adult."
"Not under this roof." Her lips purse together into a thin line as she continues her assault, I can see her fingers barely twitch, the echoes of a phantom pain forcing my ear to twitch and burn.
"Fine, I won't be happy about it though." I finally cave in with a huff, sticking my tongue out to the proud looking woman, the light giggling from the kid successfully defusing the tense atmosphere.
"Good kid." I grumble underneath my breath as I shove a stick of meat into my mouth, the corners of her smile visible in spite of the cup she raised to her lips. The food tasted good and everything, far better than whatever muck I can grab from an inn, but I don't exactly feel the need to eat that much. Maybe that's why she shoved a bit more food onto Mabels plate, to discourage me from trying to give her more, didn't really work too well. Kid still ate it all up in a flash though, gnawing and consuming the food with a ravenous glee, it felt nice to watch her dig into food of some kind. I still have no idea what she gives the kid to drink, but she seems to enjoy it.
The rest of the meal passes without incident, though I grumble again as Anna ruffles my hair while she collects the mees. I feel mildly mocked and scolded, treated as if I was just a kid… but the kid's smiling and laughing, that gives me more joy than whatever pride I have. Anna looks somewhat nervous as she sits back down again, returning to downing whatever's in her cup. Right, I'm not gonna let this get awkward for no reason.
"What's eating you, Anna?" I break the silence swiftly, my chin resting atop a palm as I look over her face. I can't help but frown as she sighs, a hand raised to rub at her temple. Saying that she looks stressed would be an understatement, there's more wrinkles on her face than I can remember. God dammit, now I just feel bad.
"Sorry, kids, I'm just thinking is all."
"Penny for your thoughts, miss Anna? As long as you wanna chat about it is all." She sighs again and nurses her cup, fingers wrapped around it nervously. Shit, does she need a hug or something?
"Mn, it's just about the things that I want to talk about with you. I just need a bit more time to prepare, and I'd rather not have the child overhear it all, for her sake." She seems rather solemn as she looks down to the table, my frown deepening as I examine her just that bit closer. Ah, I think I know what she means by 'preparing', at least from what I can see.
"Anna, l really hope you're not tearing your hair out because of me, I'd just feel worse ya know?" She snorts a little as she nods, finishing the rest of her cup. The smile on her face doesn't reach her eyes, but it's better than nothing I guess.
"Perhaps it's my nature to worry, then, it's something I do often."
"Then you need to try to stop that flood, for your own sake." She doesn't look entirely convinced by that, she looks mired by her own thoughts over anything else, what the hell could be plaguing her so much? I stand silently and slink over to her, pulling her into a somewhat uncomfortable feeling hug that I have to lean over for, but she seems soothed enough by it. "You nursed me back to health from the brink of death, I wouldn't want you to stress half to death because of me."
"I know kid, I know." She sighs dejectedly as she returns the hug, though it's a half hearted attempt. She really needs to relax for a bit, hm…
"Tell you what? I wanna get out with Mabel for a bit, take her to see a friend and all that jazz, you really should use that time to relax. Brew some more tea, take a nap, do whatever old people do to chill, your hair's gonna turn white at this rate." That gets an entertaining snort out of her, the woman brushing my arms off of her with a renewed energy.
"Alright alright, fine, get outta here kids. Don't get into trouble or anything."
"C'mon Anna, I'm the pinnacle of a peaceful day." She raises an eyebrow as I waltz over to the kid, rolling my eyes. Maybe I don't have the best track record, but I'm gonna put it all down to fluctuating luck. "You ready to go meet up with your friend, kid?"
Mabels little beam is a wonderful thing, the girl nodding rapidly as she pushes herself off of seat. She seems genuinely excited to meet a friend, and that's something I couldn't be happier for. She suddenly stops and stiffens mid way to the door, turning around to face Anna.
"T-thank you, Miss Anna." She manages tl squeak out, giving the woman a nervous but adorable bow. Annas smile returns to her face, a more honest and genuine one than before.
"You're welcome little miss, any time, at least one of you is thankful for such hospitality." She sends me a half hearted glare, chuckling as I roll my eyes in response to it all. I'm glad they're getting along at least. I unlock the latch to the door and shoe Mabel outta here, her body and bushy tail seems to shake around, I hope that's from excitement more than nerves. I hesitate for a moment before leaving the little cabin, my gloved hands catching on the door frame.
"...look after yourself Anna, please." I look to the woman with a frown on my face, a sense of worry stirring in my chest as I look over her. I do worry for her, and I feel bad for the lot of this.
"I'll be fine kid, now get outta here." It's hard to see any scathing bite from her when there's a charming little smile on her face, something of which I happily return. I give her a small nod before pulling the door shut, turning my back to the cabin and marching onwards. Hm, I feel like I'm forgetting something…
Ah, of course. The smile still stains my face as I unlatch my cloak, kneeling beside the keidran before fussing with it. Scarf or not, she looks warmer with the cloak on, and safer.
"Comfortable kid?" I ask aloud as I finish pulling it all together, her purple scarf leaking out of the oversized cloak, it's a cute sight. She smiles and nods, nudging into me, a chiming giggle flowing throughout the empty road as I ruffle her hair.
Though I still can't help but worry for Anna, she's gonna be okay, right? She can handle herself, and I can probably handle anything she brings up. I shake those thoughts from my head as I tighten the bad strap, worrying over it isn't gonna help me very much.
….
It feels odd to be waltzing around a town without most of my equipment on hand, as if I'm missing a piece of myself, it puts me on edge just that little bit more than I expected. My fingers twitch as I shove a fist into a pocket, the other tending to Mabels scalp. I'd like to imagine that it's helping soothe both of our nerves, even if a part of me wishes that I at least had the mana crystal that's hopefully still lodged into the cloak pocket. I hum to myself as we continue our little waltz together, keeping an eye and ear out for the other kid, and I assume her father too. Something tells me that the dads probably agreed to it, although it's just a hunch and nothing more.
"Hey, Zeke?" Mabels soft voice guides me away from my thoughts, a hum of acknowledgement coming from my chest as I look down to her.
"What's up kid, you feeling okay?"
"I'm fine but, where are we going? Where is Felicity?" I smile softly as she tilts her head, golden eyes looking up with an innocent stare. Awh, she remembered her name too, that's fucking adorable.
"Hell if I know kid, she's probably gonna show up and yank my tail or something." I respond with a lazy shrug, the kid giggling aloud as I ruffle her hair. "Are you excited to meet with her again?"
"Uh huh!" My smile widens as she beams, a flicker of delight rushing through my chest amongst the nerves. Hah, to see her so happy and excited for something, it's a delightful and happy thing to see. It's not the type of happiness I'm used to though, it lingers in the pits of my chest with a strange warm fuzziness, but I'm not gonna deny it. I hum to myself, twisting my head to look around the street. No red hair here that I can see, at least no one's really looking at us, that does give me an idea though.
"Hey kid, wanna help me find em?" I ask as I kneel beside her, hand still ruffling her hair. She tilts her head in confusion, her eyes wide as she stares at me, but she slowly nods. She lets out a small mewling yelp of surprise as I pull her into the air, it's a bit of a mess to get it all right, with the cloak and all, but she eventually rests comfortable on my shoulders. She squeaks again as her small hands grip my hair, her claws threatening to drag its way over my scalp. I uh, probably should've given the kid some warning huh? Whoops.
"W-wha? What's this for?" Her voice is a soft little squeak as she questions it all, reaching up and massaging my fingers behind her ears. It's a bit uncomfortable given her height, she seems a bit taller than I thought before I did this, but I'll sleep in the bed I've made. The poking of her claws dies down slowly as she relaxes into my hand, her hands softly clenching around my hair. There we go, much better, I don't wanna get shanked.
"So you can see a bit better of course, you're kinda tiny after all. Look out for anyone with red hair" She doesn't answer that beyond an indignant sounding huff, but she seems relatively calm about the situation, continuing our little wandering. This and the little conversation I had with that cold lady does make me wonder, though, how old is this kid? Cant really take a measured guess from her height, she's far from talk after all, but that could just be stunted growth from malnourishment during slavery and everything, it's hard to have someone run away when they don't have to the strength to after all. Pfeh, I feel bitter just thinking about that. I should ask someone some time, or I could ask the kid herself later. Why the fuck didn't I think of that from the sta-
"A-ah!" The girls panicked breathing brings me out of my thoughts first, followed by a hiss of pain that forces its way through my lip, the digging sensation of her claws burrowing it's way into my head. I wince and take a look around, a small panic setting in, what's going on? Ah, I uh, I can see the issue.
I purse my lips as I look around the open field, a swath of human heads poking out among one another as they force each other aside, a cacophonous symphony of nonsensical shouting rising above the lot of them. I've auto piloted into the town center, the trading hub that's filled with humans, with a kid who has a fear of humans. Small fuck up, hey Zeke? How the fuck did you manage this?
I curse underneath my breath as I dip into an alleyway away from the plaza looking up to face the kid as my hand returns to her head. Her lips are pursed together into a thin line, a stifled sounding whimper forcing its way out of her lips. Ah fuck, now I just feel like garbage. I slip the girl down my back and bring her in front of me, kneeling in return and holding her to my chest, my hands entangled in her head as I massage it as best as I can, my heart aching as her muffled whimpers press into my chest.
"Hey, hey kid, we're not walking in there, I promise you that much. We're gonna be walking around it if anything, I promise." I coo to the unsettled child, holding her into a close hug, I can feel my shirt becoming damper by the second from her tears. This is a compounding shit fest that's just making me feel like extra garbage today, and after such a good start too. Doesn't help that I'm lying to her in a soft way, totally fucking forgot about her thing with humans, I have no fucking idea how, you stupid bastard! Shit shit shit.
I don't trust myself to not put my foot in my mouth, so I take to shutting the fuck up and holding the girl, a hand trailing up and down her back as she sobs. It takes a while for her to bring herself back down from it, her whimpering dying out as she mashes her face into my clothes. I'm not gonna get angry over it, it's basically my fault she's like this at the moment.
"We can turn back if you want it, I ca-"
"No!" Her voice is filled with a faltering determination as she pulls away from me, a frown plain on her face. She seems to fold in on herself as I stare at her, sniffling as she nudges her head into my chest
"N-no, I can handle it, I wanna see her, if it's okay still…"
"Of course kid, anything for ya." I smile sadly as I respond to her, keeping a soft hold of her as I do so, I can see her tail flicker underneath my cloak though, not entirely sure what that means, but she seems to be a lot less distraught than before.
"Hey Zeke, can I ask something?" She pipes up as she pulls away, a soft sniffle coming from her while her head tilts. I continue to smile as I bring up a hand, using the soft cloth of the cloak to rub away the streaks of tears that stain her fur. God did that make me feel like a heartless bastard, I feel like garbage now.
"Sure thing kid, feel free to ask anything." It's the least I could do for her, though I pray that there's certain questions she won't ask me.
"I've been meaning to ask for a bit, but why do you, ah, do that stuff?" She continues as I fix her hair, biting the insides of my cheeks to focus on the task, pulling away after a bit. The fur isn't perfectly dried by any means, but it's not as apparent at least.
"There we go, looking better already. What do you mean by 'that stuff' though, kid?" I can't help but feel a little bit guilty as I look down to her, having to answer her phone question with a question makes me feel cheap, though I'm not sure why. She looks a little bit concerned, or confused, looking down and away as she steps from paw to paw.
"The whole, you know, the thing." My confusion only grows as she huffs, mumbling to herself as she furrows her brow. Confused and frustrated, not a great combination there.
"Hey, it's okay kid. Can you show me what you mean?" She can't put it into words, but surely she can show me right? That seems to set up the lightbulb in her head, I can see her tail flicker between her legs as she holds out her arms, making a weird… petting motion, I think?
"You do that a lot, it feels weird, but a good weird! Hmf, I dunno what it's called, m'sorry..." Ah, it breaks my heart to see her so disappointed, especially in herself, a small sad pout in her face as she clasps her hands behind her back. I think I know what she means though.
"Do you mean petting?" I reach out and plant my hand between her ears, ruffling her hair to demonstrate, a soft smile appearing on her face as her ears twitch. Dammit kid, you're gonna kill me with the emotional whiplash from this shit.
"Is that what it's called?" She sounds so sincere as she asks that, tilting her head while she does so. A nervous bubble stirs in my chest, a feeling of foreboding alongside it. I have a terrible terrible feeling about this topic, but I won't pull away from it, not from her.
"Yeah, it's called petting kid. I do it and give you hugs a lot cause, I dunno, I've always imagined that you need it, ya know? Doesn't help that I do it somewhat instinctively now, but I can stop if you want i-" The leftover air in my lungs is shoved out unceremoniously as she barrels into my chest, shaking her head all the while.
"P-please don't, please don't stop it. I like it, it's nice. I never knew it could be nice, they w-were always so rough, it always h-hurt…" She trails off with a sniffle, the mix of tears and snot combining together in my shirt, but I couldn't care less. I hold the fragile little girl as close as I can, restraining myself from squeezing too roughly, or from showing my growing disdain for this shit fest. Deep breaths Zeke, deep breaths, the kid doesn't need to know how fucking livid you are
"You'll never have to worry about that again Mabel, so long as I live. I'll do anything to make you feel comfortable, and I'll keep those bad feelings and people away whenever I can." It takes far too much effort to keep my voice level as I whisper to her, it's a hoarse sounding thing that grates on my ears. She pulls away from me and looks up, her eyes watering and red from tears.
"Do you, do you promise promise?" She asks again, it doesn't sound like a question so much as a begging request from the girl. It hurts to see, it tugs at my chest and mind as I look down to her. My fingers twitch as I raise them to her face, my thumb brushing against her cheek and up to her ears. I hesitate for a moment, a flood of uncertainty washing over my limbs with a disgustingly cold bite. Shit, what am I doing? Why is the better question. I've already promised her this same thing right? Something about it feels more persona and more terrifying and unnerving because of it, whether it be from how close we are or from that stupid fucking dream is something that I'm unsure about.
I don't have much time to think about this, do I? I got a kid that's on the verge of tears again because she just found out what affection is, and this entire conversation is happening because of my misstep.
Ah, fuck it all then.
"Until the day I die, kid." I finally respond with a soft smile, leaning down to her and planting my lips atop her forehead. She freezes for a moment, her tail flickering wildly before she relaxes into my hands, her gentle purring echoing throughout the desolate and empty alleyway. Shit place for this type of conversation, but it'll do for now.
The feeling of fur on my lips isn't exactly a fantastic one, it's like I'm kissing a damn cat, but I linger for a few moments longer before pulling away regardless, there's a hazy yet happy look in her eyes as she looks up to me, that's such a cute smile. The momentary peace is shattered by her soft sniffle though, fear riding and taking a hold of my chest. You fucked up, didn't you Zeke? Mother fucker.
"S-sorry, I just, I remembered something." She seems rather embarrassed being caught in her own thoughts like that, a dusting of red coating her cheeks as she wrings her hands together. Heh, it's not like I don't do the same or anything.
"Was it a good memory, kid?" I decide to pry just a little bit as I pet her head, the girl surprisingly nodding in response.
"Y-yeah, I don't remember much, just someone else doing that to me. I dunno who, or when, sorry…" I hum to myself as I pull my hand away from her, gently booping her nose as a response, her nose crinkling up in return. God that's cute.
"Hey, a good memory is a good memory however you splice it, don't apologise for it either, it's not like I have the best memory either." She giggles lightly as I tap at my skull, a small smile on her face.
"R-really?"
"Yup, I've forgotten basically everything other than a few things that aren't the best, but that just makes the good memories all the more sweeter, ya know?"
"Yeah…" She doesn't exactly seem very enthusiastic about that, a determined feeling swelling in my chest as I ruffle her hair.
"And that means that someone somewhere probably wanted to keep you safe and happy, right?"
"Yeah…? I think so." Tsk, come on kid, I know you got that fire in you.
"And that makes you feel good doesn't it?"
"Y-yeah?"
"And you ain't gonna let some bed feelings fuck with your good feelings aren't you?"
"Yeah!" She stands that little bit higher, her golden eyes flickering with wild energy. Now we're fucking cooking! I'm glad she didn't recognise the cursing myself.
"You're gonna meet Felicity and have some god damned fun!"
"Yeah!"
"Well then let's get fucking going!" I cry out with a cheer as I stand up, a hand held high as she cheers along, guiding the both of us out of this awful alleyway. I can hear the girl let out a soft little cough, twisting my head to look at her, there's a nervous little smile on her face as she looks up with a smile. "You uh, wanna get on my shoulders, don't you?"
"Eheh, yeah." My smile still clings to my face as she rubs the back of her neck. Aw fuck, is she copying my mannerisms too? Has she done that before, cause that's fucking adorable. A chuckle of amusement slips past my lips as her shrill squeak echoes throughout the alleyway, shifting into place atop my shoulders. She grips my hair and jabs a free digit to the exit of this place, I don't need to see her face to know there's a smile on it.
I can't help but let out a small, mirthful chuckle as we finally leave, I hope the burden on her shoulders is as light as it can be. She deserves safety, and I'll do my best to give it to her however I can.
The weight of the kid on my shoulders is a far lighter weight than the one on my heart.
Authors note: I pray that this isn't too rushed, I'm just trying to force this story back to its original upload schedule is all. Any tips is appreciated and whatnot, if there's any questions I'll take to answering them.