"Cheersh!" The glass mugs clink together, Lucy's drunken overreaching forces bits of the golden liquid to spill out of her mug and onto the table, of which seems to set her off into a mess of girling giggles, one that's only stopped by her dragging it back to her lips. She swallows it down with a fervour, not stopping until only droplets remain.
"Considering how well you can handle your drink, perhaps you ought to slow down in the future." Edward quips, looking over to her with a raised brow, though the mug raised to his lips doesn't do much to hide that smile of his. She huffs, reaching out to poke at his arm, nearly falling off of the damn chair because of it. I can't tell if the flush on her face is from embarrassment, or from the multiple rounds.
'Considering how she is, I wouldn't put money on the former.'
I'm surprised she could down so much with how small she is, I thought she'd pass out a while ago honestly. Perhaps she's pushing herself to keep at it.
"Awh, but that'sh no fun!" She replies, a pout already on her face as she takes to steading herself. It takes a moment, but she finally manages it, looking back up to the guardsman, body sluggishly swaying from side to side.
"Odds are that you'll regret all this come morning, Lucy." She seems to fumble for a moment, her eyes squinting and looking down into the wood. It looks like she's trying real hard to think of something, lips twitching and dipping into a frown.
"You're dumb." She finally sputters out, the pout on her face returning as she glares. That reply almost gets a small laugh out of me, though I smother it with the beer instead, swallowing down a few gulps. There's a strange taste to it, almost bitter, almost sweet, I can feel it tingling in the pits of my gut. It's not the tastiest thing, but it's easy enough to stomach, especially with friends. The meat tasted better, almost reminded me of steak.
"A man doesn't exactly need to be considered wise to know that you're out of your depth here, Lucy." He sets his mug onto the table, the soft smile on his face twitching upwards into a smug, teasing smirk.
"Hey, what'sh that meanta mean!" She questions with another huff, an almost indignant inflection in her tone. It's almost cute, even if she talks with a drunken drawl. There's an almost proud glint in Edwards eye, his head tilting back ever so slightly, though he doesn't respond otherwise.
It's not the first time the two of them have devolved into squabbling like this, nor do I think it'll be the last with how they act with each other, but it's still surprising to see. It's strange to think that Lucy joined us on a whim to poke and pry into me, I don't regret it too much.
I imagine that Edward doesn't regret it either, with how lax his smile is, it's almost like he's enjoying going out with friends. I hope that's not a new feeling to him.
'If you weren't so distracted by the baggage that you lug around with you, I'd be calling you a third wheel.'
The hair on the back of my neck bristles, a burst of heat flaring up in my chest.
'It's always fun to get under your skin.'
Prick. I close my eyes shut, ignoring the bastards cackling as best I can.
One, two, three.
I open my eyes once more, the heat still simmering beneath the surface of my skin, it's at least dulled enough now. Speaking of the kid, though.
I take another gulp of the beer as I look over to her, a soft smile immediately forcing its way onto my face as I do so. She's not paying attention at all to what's happening around us, completely engrossed by the dish in front of her. Small teeth sink into meat, gnawing and tugging before ripping it free, ravenously scoffing it down before going in for another bite.
It's almost a rhythm, a bloody one, but still a rhythm. Bite, gnaw, yank, eat, rinse and repeat. She took off her scarf a while ago, laying it down on her lap instead. I'm not sure if she did that because it's rather warm here, or because she didn't want to get any blood on it.
'Eaugh, at least pretend to not be a fucking weirdo.'
I swear I can feel his revulsion, and that makes me happy, a soft chuckle slipping past my lips. Payback's a bitch, after all.
I reach over to the girl with a hand, softly laying it atop her head. There's a small, barely audible squeak, though she still presses her head against my hand, taking out a final bite of her meat, leaving nothing but bone left before swallowing and turning her head.
"Hmnf?" She mumbles, ears twitching as she tilts her head, a questioning little look.
"Are you feeling alright, kid?" I try to keep my voice low enough to whisper, though loud enough for her to actually hear me. The murmuring of the inn's patrons has been growing louder over the night after all.
"Mhm!" She answers with a nod and a toothy grin, bits of meat dangling from between her teeth.
'Ich, what a fucking-'
Adorable little fox, and nothing less than that.
"I'm glad you're alright." She giggles, ears twitching as she presses herself into my hand, eyes slowly closing shut. It's an adorable sight, especially with the smile on her face.
It's been a bit rocky, but she's done far better than I expected. I'm proud of her, I truly am. I imagine that it can't be easy, surrounded by so many of them. Maybe I could say something about it, to give her a little nudge in the right direction, would that work?
"You're doing a good job." I pipe up after a moment, which seems to bring her out of her reverie. She looks up to me with the tilt of her head, golden eyes shining in the dim light. She's going to give me a heart attack one day.
"Mhn?"
"I know you don't feel comfortable around humans and all, but you're doing a good job." I elaborate, continuing to ruffle and pet the girl's hair. She looks almost confused by that, but she does nod at least, a smile still on her face.
"Thank you." It's a simple reply, though the dusting of pink on her cheeks still fills my heart with warmth. "It's easier like this."
"Like this?"
"Like, you kno" She trails off, jabbing a twitching finger towards my arm. Ah, now that I can definitely understand, god she's adorable. "It's easier to ignore the stares..."
I purse my lips together and nod, tearing my sight from her to look over the rest of the inn. Some of the lot that've come in have kept their heads down, keeping to themselves for the most part, but the rowdier ones are always a pain. But others… it's difficult to not notice their stares, some are at least attempting to be sneakier, while others are more blatant with their disgust. No one tried anything physical, not yet anyhow.
I can't imagine how hard that'd be on a kid, to know what these people are thinking. And I pulled her away from her brief distraction.
The guilt that stirs in my gut doesn't feel good, not in the slightest.
Maybe it'll be best to get away from them, even for a while, just for some fresh air.
"Do you want to go outside for a bit?" I ask the girl, turning my focus back on her. She shuffles in her seat, though she does look like she's thinking it over.
"If you wanna, but what about them?" Even as she speaks, she's shuffling about in her seat, hands already putting her scarf in place. I look over to the other two, the both of them are still bickering about something or other, it's difficult to tell what. Although, something tells me that the topic isn't particularly important, the both of them seem content to just chat to one another.
It's sweet to see Edward look so casual, so relaxed. I'm probably gonna rib him for this later on.
"Hey, you two." I call out to them, rapping my knuckles against the table. That catches their attention, Lucy stopping in the middle of her chattering. "We're gonna go outside for a bit, alright?"
"Alright, don't get into any trouble."
"Do you really thi-"
"Yes." I roll my eyes, ignoring the mans chuckling, and the woman's giggling. Scratch that, I'm definitely gonna rib him for that.
"You're hilarious. Let's get going kid." I respond, quickly dragging my gloves. The stool grinds against the floor as I shove myself off of it, the kid quickly moving to my side, gripping my cloak with a soft tug. I rest my hand atop her head regardless, just to keep her close, guiding the both of us away from the two and towards the exit.
I try to keep my head low and feet quick, I swear I can still feel them looking, staring, the noise from the lot of them sounds like they're banging drums beside my ears, the loud shits. Fuck, these bastards just can't pretend to be less shitty, can they? Fucking humans.
We finally reach, and I happily shove them open, a chilly rush of air pushing against my face, a shiver running up my spine. It's a sharp turn compared to the almost stifling heat from inside the inn, though it's a refreshing one. Hopefully there's no prying eyes here.
The door swings shut behind us, dimming both sound and light from within. I can feel Mabel's grip on my cloak loosen, and hear her soft, relaxed sigh.
"Feeling better already?"
"Mhm." I ruffle her hair, of which she pushes back in turn, much to my delight. Bloody sweetheart. I guess we both needed this, I didn't even realise how loud it was in there, can't tell if it was better or worse for her.
"We'll stay out here for as long as you want." She mumbles something under her breath, the grip on my cloak tightening for a moment.
"Okay." I have to strain my ears to hear her whisper, she almost sounds embarrassed to admit it. I kneel beside her, wrapping my arm around her shoulders and pulling her close.
"What do you want to do now, kid?" I ask her in a low voice, quickly looking over my shoulder. No one else seems to be following us, I'm grateful for that at least. She hums to herself, the side of her skull pressing against my shoulder.
"I wanna look at the stars." She states, voice as low as my own. I raise an eyebrow, but don't respond immediately, resting my head atop hers. She wants to look up at the stars, huh? I don't think I've paid them too much attention, though I guess it's nice to look at. It could help clear my own mind, too.
"Do you want me to lift you onto the railing, kid? Just so you can use it as a seat." It feels a tad strange to talk when my head's like this, but I can manage it, especially if it makes her feel more comfortable. She shuffles around a little bit, the top of her head pressing up and into my chin.
"Yes ple-eek!" She's always been a light girl, so sliding my arms behind her knees to scoop her off of the ground isn't too difficult to manage. Her shrill squeak fills the air, arms wrapping around my neck. She does feel a tad heavier than she used to, and I'd like to think that's a good sign. I carry her to the edge of the porch, shuffling her about before planting her atop it, the back of her head resting against my chest.
"Better?"
"Mnf." She huffs in response, an adorable little noise. I can't help but smile at it, resting my hand on her head, fingers softly massaging behind her ears. It takes a bit for her to relax, but she does so eventually, her body turning lax and laying against me, her sight directed upwards, ears twitching every so often underneath my touch.
A welcoming warmth fills my chest, soothing my heart and putting me at ease. I look up to the sky myself, the crescent moon hangs above a seemingly endless expanse of black, orbs of white sparkling within.
It's a beautiful sight, and yet, all it does is unnerve me. A shiver runs up my spine, my spare arm wrapping around the girl. She continues to nuzzle into me, the sound of her content sigh mixing alongside her purring. It doesn't look like she can tell that anything's wrong with me, and I'm glad for that, I wouldn't want her to worry about it.
The longer I look at it, the more it reminds me of the nightmare, one I wish I could forget. Such a perverse mimicry of reality, stuffed with inhuman monsters.
And I'll have to go back there, sooner or later, it doesn't matter. Odds are that I'll have to confront it again and again, to beat it back again and again. I wish I could cut it short, to tear it from the roots and snuff it out for good. Maybe if I wasn't such a forgetful shit and could remember names this wouldn't be an issue.
'I almost forgot how much you liked to brood, it was peaceful while it lasted.'
Rummaging through my head to think and reflect is a tad different from brooding, Adrian.
'With you, I can't tell the difference.'
You enjoy doing this, don't you?
'Naturally, it's fun to get under your skin.'
One, two, three. I let out a sigh, letting both my chest and lungs relax. I didn't realise I was holding in my breath, there. Bastard aside, I'm sure there's something else I could do, right? I can influence memories in some way, to at least give it a small nudge in the right direction, even if I don't know what I'll get from it. Fuck, if only I knew her name, that golden eyed fox. She's important, she has to be.
...Actually, maybe I don't need to know her name, but something else to attach to her. I don't know the Stranger's name, but I can pull forth something about him despite that, right? The same goes for that Lady, and anything else that seems at least somewhat willing to go along with me. The fox might not have a name, but she has a title, and the Partner is an easy enough title to remember.
Fuck, I feel like I should've noticed that sooner, perhaps I am a little too dense for my own good.
I can feel my ears twitch as the sounds from the inn intensifies, my nerves jumping alongside it. I twist my neck to face the disturbance, arm drooping down and resting on the sword's pommel.
A single man waltzes out of the inn, shuffles out of the inn, the door swinging haphazardly behind him. Clad in plain clothes and with a weary expression, he stumbles past us, only sparing us a glance out of the corner of his eye. He stumbles away from the inn and into the darkened streets, lit only by moonlight.
It's just a man, just a human, one that barely gave the two of us a glance.
So why does my heart feel like it's about to jump out of my chest? I purse my lips together, forcing my trembling hand into my pocket.
"Zeke?" Her call breaks me out of my thoughts, shaking and blinking my head before looking down to her. She stares back up to me, a smile on her face, her head tilting to the side, ever so slightly. It doesn't look like she's noticed anything either.
Maybe I'm being paranoid, but I'd rather be paranoid than dead.
"What's up kid?"
"I'm okay now."
"Are you sure?" I'm more than ready to stay out here for longer, if she wants or needs it.
"Mhm." I ruffle her head, a soft giggle hanging in the air as I wrap my arms around her, slowly lifting her off of the railing, planting her on her feet. She clings to my side, a hand of hers already gripping a fistful of my cloak.
And so we walk back into the inn, a wash of warmth washing over me, along with the return of that infernal racket, at least I can stand it now. Walking back to the table is uneventful, though at least the sight's amusing.
"The hell happened to her?" I raise an eyebrow and look over the seemingly comatose Lucy, her face planted into the table and hair splayed outwards, an emptied mug laid out beside her. The back of her chest rises and falls occasionally, at least she's breathing. We weren't gone for that long, were we?
"She didn't slow down." He replies simply, an amused smile on his face, his own mug emptied beside him. "She doesn't drink very much."
"Did she tell you that?"
"Let's call it a hunch." He continues, smug smirk still staining his face. He looks rather relaxed. "That's probably the end of the night for us, though I feel great knowing that her morning's going to be painful."
"You're weird."
"You have no room to talk, Fuzz." I can't help but laugh a little, ain't that the truth. I reach down and pick up my mug, quickly downing the rest of the contents. Eaugh, chugging this down makes it taste worse, gross. "I'll drag her to her room, you better get back to Anna's."
"Yeah yeah, I know. Hey, Lyn!" I call out to the waitress, or bartender, hell if I remember, planting the glass back onto the table. She bounces over real quick though, a smile on her face and red hair billowing behind.
"You done for tonight, luv?"
"Yeah, how much?" I ask her, a hand already rummaging through my bag, brushing against everything. My coin pouch is in here somewhere, dammit."
"That'll be forty three silver, luv." It takes a bit to find the right pouch and drag it out, and even longer to actually get the required amount. At least this one is the one that Gerome gave me, I'm not sure if the other one has coins to spare. Maybe I should actually manage it all some time.
'Maybe you should for once, stop spending so frivolously dammit.'
Hey, nothing wrong with splurging a bit, especially for the kid.
"Alright, I think that's it." I hand over the coins toher, dropping it in her hands before stuffing the pouch away. Hopefully no one saw too much of it. "Edwa-"
"I've already paid, so don't worry about me.'' He cuts me off with the wave of a hand, and a smile on his face. Hm, I was going to offer to pay for him.
'I imagine he knew that, at least one of you has a brain.'
"You're all paid up luv, be safe getting home, alright?" Lyn's voice brings me back from my thoughts, my head turning to face her. There's a worried look on her face, and her tone sounds like a rather motherly one. I can't imagine why.
"I'll be fine, don't worry about me. Are you gonna be alright Eddy?" I give him a quick glance, though he just waves his hand dismissively, again.
"I'm not the trouble magnet, look after yourself Fuzz." He still has that smug look on his face, though his tone sounds… oddly soft, concerned. I give him a determined nod, a hand resting on the hilt once more. Lyn's already gone, she has her own duties to fulfil.
"I'll be fine, I promise. I'll see you sometime soon, right?"
"I can't get rid of you, so most likely." We share a soft chuckle, though it's barely audible over the rest of the noise. I turn away from him, the kid still clinging to my side.
Straight through the inn and out the door, it feels like the cold gleefully clings to me. The door swings shut behind us, the steps down from the porch creaking underneath us. A soft yawn catches my attention, my fingers softly scratching her head.
"Tired, kid?"
"Mhm." She says with a mumble, I can feel her shuffling underneath my hand, nudging into my side.
"Do you want me to carry you?" I offer, coming to a stop as I do so, the girl following suit.
"Yes please." She finally responds with a squeak, her voice barely above a whisper. I smile and kneel beside her, scooping her up with an arm, just like last time. She wraps her arms around the back of my neck, resting her head in the crook of it.
"Comfortable?"
"Mhm."
"Thata girl." I pet the back of her head with my spare hand, which she seems to approve of, giggling before nuzzling into my neck. Bless her soul.
It's a cold and quiet night, and should at least feel relatively peaceful. And yet, I can feel something prick at my nerves despite that. It's quiet, almost painfully so, the sound of my claws clicking against the rocky road disturbing it.
A shudder runs up my spine, though I suppress it as best as I can, lowering my spare hand to rest it on the hilt of my blade.
It's just a walk to Anna's, it'll be fine, though there's no harm in being extra safe.
Even if it feels like someones burning a hole into the back of my skull, let's hope that nothing comes of it.
'For your sake?'
For theirs.
….
This bed of warmth is a delightful one to rest in, the soothing feeling is an inviting one, one that tempts me to lay here until I'm forced out, whether it be by someone else, or by the dream ending.
But still, there's things to be done, and I can't be distracted for too long. My eyes flicker open, the alluring warmth disappearing into the aether. Maybe one day.
"Up and at 'em meatbag." I suppress the surprise as best I can, looking over to the grinning bastard out of the corner of my eye. I open my mouth, but close it shut, words dying in my throat. I want to say something spiteful, but…
I don't feel up to it, not now anyhow, the freshest memory of this place is probably just leaving a terrible blemish on my mood.
"You're delightful as always, parasite." I mutter in response instead, closing my eyes shut and shaking my head, something to shake those thoughts out. I twist underneath the blankets, shoving myself off of the side and onto the carpet. At least I can feel that beneath my feet, far from soft, but it's grounding enough. The bastard brushes up beside me, a shiver running up my spine as he floats beside the bookshelf.
"Business as usual, then?"
"Hopefully." I don't want to go back there, not so soon. I waltz up to the bookshelf, running a finger over the spine of a book before tearing it from its slot, cracking it open. I brush a thumb over the pages as I think to myself, pursing my lips together.
What the hell should I even try to remember? Hell, should I try to remember her to begin with? What if there's nothing to actually learn, and I just end up wasting my time, what if I remember something I shouldn't? Maybe I could ju-
No, stop it, stop over thinking dammit. I need to try, even if I regret what I remember. I close my eyes shut, taking in a deep breath.
I can feel something well up inside my chest, something heavy and lumbering, though it seems… unwilling, or unwanting. Why does it linger there if it doesn't want to come forth? I can feel it buried in my chest dammit, don't deny me! I can feel it weigh down heavier and heavier in my chest, and so I put more and more pressure on it, to bring it up and out of there.
Its hot, and fuck it hurts, but I grit my teeth, ignore the lance of pain that stabs my skull, I can handle it dammit. But the thought of leaving this chance behind? No, I need ot know, for myself and for her, nwo tell me you fuck, tell me tell me TELL M-
A gasp forces itself out of my throat, an icy chill bringing me from my thoughts, eyelids flying open as the book slips from my hands. It's a struggle to stand upright with my trembling legs, but I force myself anyways, a hand clutching at my chest as I gasp for air, tears blurring my vision. It's raspy gasps, and it feels like it's tearing up my throat, but it's something.
"Wha-" A coughing fit cuts me short, and my gasping resumes, though it's at a steadier, less painful pace. What the fuck was that?
"Now, I have no idea what the fuck you did, but you really shouldn't do that again." He almost sounds like he's scolding me, though there's a cautious edge to it. I turn my neck to face him, blinking away the blur in my eyes. He looks, god, he looks almost scared, scared and worried. "You have no idea what nearly happened, do you?"
I furrow my brow, not trusting myself to speak just yet, tearing my sight from himself back to the book.
It's not exactly in a good condition. It remains on the floor, crumpled and ruined pages splayed open. Christ, I nearly destroyed the damn thing. I've already done that once before, I didn't think I could manage it again.
"Zeke?" Ah, fuck, I forgot to answer him. I shake my head once more, turning up to face him.
"I-I nearly cocked that up real bad, huh?" I try to sound confident, to reassure him that I'm alright, but I can barely manage to choke out those few words, and what feels like a half hearted grin. His lips twist down into a frown, concern still staining his face. I drop the facade, letting my arms droop to my sides. "Sorry, I was trying something there."
"And it didn't exactly go how you thought it would, did it?"
"No, not at all." And that failure only brings up more questions to me. Why did it fail? I thought I did everything right, did I push too hard, did I push in a way that wouldn't work?
Or maybe it didn't want to be pushed at all, maybe it wanted to stay buried. But why? Fuck, more questions, no answers, fantastic.
"You always get a weird face whenever you're thinking to yourself, Zeke." His bittersweet voice brings me back out of my thoughts, a sad looking smile on his face. It disappears quickly enough though, lips set into a determined, grim line. "Listen, don't do that again, at least not for now. I don't want to stick my hand through your chest again, it feels weird."
That explains the cold, god knows I don't want to feel it again, or the other pain.
"Alright, sorry for, you know…" I trail off. I can't help but feel awkward, and stuck cursing myself. Fuck, can't exactly do that again, can I?
"Stop doing dumb shit, I don't exactly like pain, and I'm stuck experiencing your bad decisions." His finger flies through my nose as he attempts to flick it, a shiver running up my spine. I scrunch my nose up before giving him a nod, leaning down to pick that damned book up once more. I can still feel something in it, so it's not completely ruined.
Maybe the chance to remember her might appear in the future.
But for now, I'll remember the Stranger, and perhaps through her, remember him. For now, that'll be enough.
...
Author's note: Hey, it's been a while, hasn't it? At the point of posting this, it's probably been around three or so months since this chapter and the last, and I'm sorry for that, for those that had been waiting for this. I didn't plan to abandon this without a word or anything, I was just frustrated with it all, and the glee I had when I started began to fade.
When I first started this, I used to upload a chapter a day, though that wasn't feasible for an extended period of time, so I moved it to a chapter a week. I kept to that strict schedule for quite some time, but I began to slip, from a day late, to two, to three, then life things happened that stopped me from updating consistently. Then I started from a week again, then that slipped to a fortnight.
I decided I wanted to take a small break from writing, just a week or two to get myself back into gear, then when I booted up a page to begin writing, I felt such disgust at the thought of it, let alone the action. I pushed and forced myself to put out chapters that people may or may not read, and I did that for long enough for whatever enjoyment I had to sour in my mind. So I put it off for another week, then another, and here we are now.
It gave me a lot of time to think, and I don't think that was to my benefit. I remembered how I wrote, and how I wanted the story to go, small little plot points that I ended up discarding. Remembering all that and trying to think of a way to connect it all together in a way that makes sense put a damper on my mood to write, too. It's hard to remember what I actually wrote to be honest, I didn't exactly plan what I wrote after all, which I'm sure a few people might've noticed, especially early on.
So yeah, that's why I took that break, poor planning (no planning, really) that caught up to me a bit faster than I expected when writing the story, the story being muddled to begin with, and burning myself out from writing over 400k words in a bit over a year along with general life stuff kind of put this story at the back of my mind.
But I didn't want to leave this unfinished, however this ends, even if it doesn't end the way I want it, I refuse to leave this until it's done. I've seen far too many stories that I've liked end up being abandoned to do the same, after all, and I wouldn't want to do that to those who do like this story for whatever reason.
I won't promise to put out super consistent updates from hereon, but I do want to at least do something every now and then, maybe every week-ish.
This should be going out around the 8th of August, maybe the 9th, who knows.
Sorry that not much happened this chapter too, it feels strange to get back into the swing of things.
Have a good day though, reader, reading through 70 chapters of this rambling story means much to me.